#why did my brain first of all go
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Per @ironlike in another reblog: the artist is Pia Hinz www.piahinz.com
https://www.instagram.com/p/DGNB3NrvCrI/
And from the replies (@bicurious-george-official):
found at the cathedral of VLC

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You gave those wounds to your god, Enki. Did you think they would heal so easily?
(Uh Oh! Someone gave the priest catholic guilt!)
#fear and hunger#enki ankarian#fear and hunger enki#funger#digital art#csp#illustration#my art#pixel art#enki#hiiiiiiiiiiii so fear and hunger is great!#played it for 4 hours last night for the first time and I love it 🥰 I’ve made a half hours progress lol#I keep losing the save coin tosses#I can’t believe this is what it took to make my art brain turn back on smh it’s patho all over again 🤣#not surprisingly enki is my fav immediately a sickly rude wizard priest? yeah that’s my number lol#fun fact I edited a wiki for the first time while making this#his page didn’t have his crucifixion dialogue and I couldn’t find a transcript anywhere#so I had to go find a video with the scene so I could transcribe it myself#and I was so annoyed by the end I added it to the wiki 😂 hopefully I did it right I copied the format of the rest of the page#(note that I didn’t even own the game at this point akkajdksdj)#also! this is partially based on a fic I read! it got me thinking about how he’s walking around w stigmata#also part of why I even knew there was crucifixtion dialogue#I’ll link it in a reblog I don’t remember the name rn#oh wait should I tag this for blood? idk#tw blood#insects
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My, my, those eyes like fire I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre
Come now, bite through these wires I'm a waking hell and the gods grow tired
Reset my patient violence along both lines of a pathway higher
Grow back your sharpest teeth, you know my desire
I will travel far beyond the path of reason
Take me back to Eden // Take me back to Eden
I need you to see me for what I have become
I guess it goes to show, does it not? That we've no idea what we've got Until we lose it
And no amount of love will keep it around If we don't choose it
And I don't know what's got its teeth in me But I'm about to bite back in anger No amount of self-sought fury Will bring back the glory of innocence
We were tangled up like branches in a flood
I have travelled far beyond the path of reason Take me back to Eden // Take me back to Eden
cropped the lyrics to those lines, that I found were extra (and sometimes ridiculously) ON POINT for them.
Sleep Token has successfully taken over my eardrums and each and every fiber, if anyone did not get the message yet. The fucking hyper focus is real, which is why I am proud I did finish this nonetheless..'cause I have started 3-4 inspired pieces at the same time, whoops...
No for real - when I hear these songs, I need to listen to it the first time, not doing anything, but scream with them first, and at the seconds attempt I can do stuff too...
UUhh.. yes... BUT before everything else - this was inspired by the latest fanfiction of my wonderful @mechazushi for I was made feel things and it ate that up like the feral squirrel that I am, munching it all in my head and well it cooked and things happend.. And look look LOOK HOW THE LINES SOMETIMES FIT YOUR PLOT RIGHT THERE!!! *excited jumpies*
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Yikes, it really shows I did a lot of european styled, and slightly less anime-like works with KCD 'cause I kinda couldn't turn that off here.....
Like midway through this, I was like, fuck it, how about we don't care about accuracy, in character trades or whatever this time and just let it flow you know.... ? Just let the music do the work for once... xD
Ahh.. yes.... and than I try-and-errored colouring and background, cause I was so done and I still hate doing them appareantly.
It's always like a warm embrace to get back to my Hoshikaf. :) Smoochies, my lovely broken bois!!
#i had fun#it's a bit horror but I like that#did a blood-red version first but tumblr no likey and then I I did a strong contrast just because why not#maybe I ...wanted Kafka to be ... less monstery this time..? did I think about that at all?#should I give Kafka the same big black pattern treatment?#unsure about it#but yet again on a point where I was like . YEP . Brain done. This is finished now.#sometimes you need to do that or you go fucking mad from your own expectations#dark dark dark#I am a sucker for dark mode on my devices and this looks so pleasing to me#that art is quite self serving this time I realise haha#Everybody now - An-a-to-my is a bitch!! An-a-to-my is a bitch!! xD#kn8#kaiju no. 8#kaiju no 8#kafka hibino#soshiro hoshina#kafhoshi#hoshikaf#fanart#icy's art
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The Development of Four and Legato's Friendship in LU Doppelgänger AU: Part 1
Ok so if you are here and you don’t know what LU Doppelgänger AU is—you are in the wrong place because this is basically me screaming about it for multiple pages! If you are still here despite that disclaimer—welcome!
Part 1 since this is already way too long. This covers events from Puppet Show to Velveteen Rabbit!
@starlight-eclipsed is the writer for the series and I strongly recommend giving it a chance! The series gave me severe brain rot hence this entire post so give it some love if you enjoyed me screaming about it here!
(Also shoutout to Kit_Kat_Weirdo_27 on ao3 on chapter 1 of Matrioshka Brain for causing this! They made a comment mentioning Four and Legato’s relationship which triggered this entire thing!)
Four and Legato's relationship is one of my favorites in the LU Doppelgänger series and it's partly due to the exploration of Four as a character.
Four in Linked Universe
When comparing the main series–Linked Universe which will be referred to as LU throughout this–Four isn’t particularly close to any member of the group. He’s a good teammate—willing to lend a helping hand or listening ear but there is no one that he regularly seeks out in LU.
Though that can change thanks to some recent developments in LU (e.g. Wild knowing about the Four Sword’s ability and Four and Wild subsequent reconciliation, Four, Wind, and Time teaming up in the dungeon). In general, Four doesn’t have many individual conversations with members and mainly interacts with everyone in larger group settings. We know that he is close to Twilight on account of Four knowing about him being Wolfie. He and Twilight also go exploring the town in Divine Dark Reflections pt1 so they do seek each other out to explore together occasionally. He is also seen working with Legend and Hyrule to create Wild’s new sword the first time. Additionally, if the doodles are canon, Time would be privy to Four’s ability to shrink to Minish size. He and Time are seen fighting as a duo in some fights and make use of their size difference well so there is familiarity there as well. However despite all of this, we don’t really see Four consistently interact with any one character. He gets along well with each member but he doesn’t seem to be particularly close to any of them individually.
(We don't see him interact as much with Wind, Sky, or Warriors but in larger group settings they seem to get along fine. He is seen bandaging Sky in one doodle though! He, Wind, and Legend also get into an argument during Sunset Arc about Twilight's usage of Twili magic.)
There is a chance of Four and Wild becoming closer though since Wild is now the only character aware of the Four Sword’s ability and they’ve gone through a major fight and reconciliation. That sort of event usually helps characters in understanding the other better and the vulnerability revealed usually aids in bringing people closer. Furthermore, the dungeon trio of Time, Wind, and Four has the potential for some more insight into how Four interacts with other members of the group.
Four has an interesting role in the group dynamic in the sense that he’s in an ambiguous age region. He’s a young hero but he doesn’t showcase it in the way that someone like Wind does. He’s got his own pride but it’s been tempered by experience and patience. I honestly view him in a similar way to how Four perceives Legato in LU Doppelgänger AU. In an ask that Starlight-Eclipsed answered on tumblr, Four believes Legato is older than he appears because "Legato doesn't think like a child" specifically how Legato thinks in the long-term and how his worldview isn't centered around himself--which isn't bad but just a symptom of a developing worldview. This same line of thinking is applied to Four in LU because he's small but he's too mature, self-assured, and considerate to be a truly young hero. It’s evident in how the other heroes treat Four in LU as well. We see the older heroes trying to protect Wind early on in the series and he calls them out on it but Four doesn’t get the same treatment.
I think a good example of how mature Four is in the comic is in the swords comic in which Four protests against picking up the Master Sword. In that comic, he calls out the other heroes for pushing him for his reasoning because they're also hiding secrets. However, once he sees everyone's reaction to his words, he defuses the situation—soothes the tensions by being lighthearted about it which gets Wild and Legend to join in. He has high emotional intelligence and is able to stand up for himself without increasing tensions within a group. He’s very familiar with working with individuals with colorful personalities and knows when to assert himself and when to lighten up. It’s a very good scene demonstrating Four’s maturity.
Though he definitely has his childish moments like in the comic when your fish story turns into a “fish story” in which he is regaling his adventures to the group without telling them he spent it being very very small. Generally though, Four’s ability as a hero is never called into question and his age is rarely commented on.
Four and Legato in LU Doppelgänger AU
Anyway I think that's enough on Four's relationships in LU, now let's talk about his relationships in LU Doppelgänger AU! Most of his relationships with the others are the same with the exception of Wild and Hyrule and this is directly due to the addition of Legato into this adventure. In the LU, Four is on good terms with these two heroes but he isn't especially close to them. Wild's weapons and his treatment of them step on his pride as a blacksmith and he takes that as a challenge to make a sword that can hold up against Wild's treatment. Four creates this sword with the help of Legend and Hyrule but outside of this interaction, these characters aren't seen talking together often.
In LU Doppelgänger AU, Four has Legato.
Legato and Four have many similarities though Four isn't aware of all of them currently. They're experienced heroes who have been on multiple quests but more importantly they've been on quests in which teamwork was a core lesson. As such, they both came into this adventure with a solid understanding of how to work in a team and navigating conflicting personalities. This helps them integrate in the team and generally get along with others. They also have some shared interests: mainly weaponry and magic enchantment. Furthermore, Four's a career blacksmith with a Minish magic background and Legato had a (unfinished) blacksmith apprenticeship and a broad magical expertise. This results in the two of them being able to bounce ideas off each other about their differing expertise and filling in the gaps in the other's knowledge.
Most importantly, there's an equality between the two of them. Four is currently the only hero with suspicions that Legato is older than he appears--much like Four himself--but regardless of that, Four never treats Legato as a child. I think that is partly that Four is able to see past Legato's physical appearance and judge him based on his actions since many of the other heroes see his short stature and general positive disposition and assume that it's because Legato is young without looking too far into it. Admittedly, Legato is playing into that assumption but he's honestly not doing much to sell the act and just relying on the others' biases.
Puppet Show
In chapter 1 of Puppet Show, Legato receives a Jabbernut from Four. This is the first meeting of the entire group so everyone is wary around each other and trying to create order. Legato, in particular, is going through it in that chapter. Comparing chapter 1 of Puppet Show Legato to the Legato we see later on in the series, it is immediately obvious that he is reeling from the situation. Albeit, Legato’s version of freaking out is all internal with only a few physical signs but he is definitely worried that he just potentially erased the version of his brothers that Legato–as Legend–went on this adventure with originally. Physically, Legato is withdrawn and observes the group instead of conversing with them and fidgeting throughout the entire chapter. When he does contribute, he’s noted to be mumbling instead of his usual outgoing and friendly behavior in later installments. While the fidgeting isn’t necessarily a sign that Legato is anxious since he picked up the habit from his most recent adventure–it combined with his unusual silence demonstrates how unnerved by the whole situation Legato is. Moving on towards his thoughts throughout the chapter, there is this constant grief that underpins all of Legato’s thoughts.
Legato’s first assumption was that this was a dream since he mentions already checking if was having another dream adventure. Legend is immensely haunted by Koholint Island and Marin so that speaks volumes on just how much Legato is freaked out. He’s constantly getting the fact that these aren’t his brothers thrown into his face during the entirety of chapter 1 of Puppet Show and it hurts him deeply. He knows the story beats already but the others don’t and it shows. They don’t know him. They’re winded after the encounter with the first black-blooded monsters. They’re not his brothers. But, they look like them and he misses them so much. He’s constantly comparing them to his group and the loss of them drags down his enthusiasm. After the encounter in the woods, he stays behind to clean his blade and he comes to the conclusion that he will stick around to ensure that this group will stay together because collectively, the group heals and supports each other. Legato won’t risk destroying his brothers even if they do not know him.
Anyway, Legato is going through it and no one has noticed since they don’t have a baseline expectation of Legato’s behavior. But this is very telling on what sort of mindset Legato is entering this adventure with. Legato is sticking around because he cares about his brothers but he doesn’t really see himself as part of the group. He’s just a tag-along that isn’t supposed to be there but is.
Due to Legato’s prior experience with his group–now referred to as Chain ver. 1–he already knows some secrets and vulnerabilities of the other heroes so while he is grieving, he also has a generally positive and empathetic perspective of the new group–now referred to as Chain ver. 2.
Four, on the other hand, has none of this. This is the first meeting after all and he has no expectations of any of the other heroes yet. Legato remarks that Four gave him a jabbernut in chapter 2 of Puppet Show, though the actual action occurs during chapter 1 off-screen. Legato specifically mentions that Four walked up to Legato and offered him the jabbernut while Legato was hanging back from the group discussion. At that point, everyone was speaking different languages due to how vast the time between each era is so Four took the prerogative to ensure stable communication once he came to the conclusion everyone was non-hostile. Legato isn’t a special consideration at this point and Four is literally the only hero that can solve the language issue given the fact that jabbernuts only appear in his games. But based on how withdrawn from the group Legato was initially, Four most likely noticed that he was uncomfortable with the presumably unintelligible conversation going on and most likely wanted to solve the issue without drawing attention to Legato who clearly didn’t want the attention.
Admittedly, that is mostly speculation since we don’t know Four’s reasoning but based on how he views his duty as a hero and his maturity, he would probably feel some obligation to help out Legato during the first meeting. It isn't a special consideration for Legato as an individual though but just an extension of Four’s duty as a hero. It also demonstrates Four’s practicality since at this point he has already determined that everyone is friendly and it will be easier for them all to be able to properly communicate. Four is a hero whose adventures have taught him the value and importance of teamwork and that’s evident in the way he gets the group on the same page with the jabbernuts.
Four and Legato's relationship starts in chapter 3 of Puppet Show when Legato tells Time that he has some magic items Four might want to experiment with to make a traveling forge. Legato makes this overture because he knows that later on in Four is supposed to make a sword for Wild and wants to give the group the extra support and time to prepare for it. Four doesn't know that of course but it's what prompts Four to start interacting with Legato. Regardless of why Legato offered Four his magic tools, the action demonstrated some key information about him.
It shows that he's observant since he made note of Four's occupation which presumably happened during the introductions or in the indeterminate amount of time it took for Chain ver. 2 to reach Lon Lon Ranch.
It shows his ability to plan ahead and foresee potential obstacles like a weapon breaking or general weapons maintenance.
It shows how considerate of others Legato is seeing as he's offering the use of his own materials to help jump start this project.
It shows that Legato has some familiarity with blacksmithing as he understands the importance of temperature control and the tools of the trade.
All this together shows Four that Legato is a considerate teammate who might also share knowledge on his specialty. Naturally, Four ends up with a positive impression of Legato and while they haven't directly interacted at this point, Four has enough information to be curious about Legato.
The consequences of Legato lending Four his magic tools is immediately evident in chapter 4 of Puppet Show. While the group is a few days out of Lon Lon Ranch, Four notices that Legato is on edge. This is because Legato is waiting for the Postman's appearance but once Legato mentions that everything has been too quiet, Four takes that response seriously and gets ready for a fight. Legato quickly clears that assumption but it's a good indication for the level of respect between these two even early on. Four and Legato aren't close but Four trusts him as a fellow hero and even if Four hasn't noticed anything yet--he's willing to listen to the perceived warning.
Additionally, Four being the one to call out Legato's restlessness is interesting because it demonstrates that he's watching Legato and that the two of them are presumably walking close together. This might just be because they're the smallest in the group and as such have been assigned to walking in the center of the group for easier protection as shown in LU but it does show that Four is interested in Legato and is a good teammate. Once the Postman has gained everyone else's attention, Four approaches Legato again. Notably, Legato is being quiet during this segment and allowing the rest of the group to discuss the Postman's presence and essentially has it play out as it does in LU.
Early on, Legato sticks to the background in group discussions. He doesn't really want to make any drastic changes at this point and is content to let everything play out as if he isn't there. He's very much in the mindset that he's a tag-along. Except Four goes out of his way to interact with Legato. He bumps Legato's shoulder in order to get his attention and makes a comment about Legato getting his "weird thing" and sticks by Legato's side once the group gets moving again. Four then thanks Legato for lending him the ice and fire rods and then mentions what Legend and him were able to figure out with them. This then prompts Legato to ask questions on how magic interacts with blacksmithing and results in the entire group learning about Legato's magical expertise. Now this scene is important to Four and Legato's relationship because it demonstrates how Four is able to get Legato to interact with the group. As mentioned, Legato is okoy with fading into the background in the beginning especially during these calmer moments but Four notices that Legato is withdrawing from the group and gets him to re-engage. Now Legend has done this in chapter 2 of Puppet Show by sending Hyrule to Legato when Wind was busy talking to Wild but Four does it more discreetly and gets Legato to address everyone in the group. Do I think Four is consciously taking into account these factors? Maybe a little bit because he's definitely crafty enough and prioritizes team dynamics enough to go out of his way to get Legato to integrate into the team but he's also probably just interested in Legato as a person by now.
So this conversation provides this information to Four about Legato:
Legato definitely has some background in blacksmithing because he was aware that magic could potentially alter the effects.
Legato has a broad and in-depth knowledge of magic (elemental, time, magic deflection, etc.)
Legato has a tendency to retreat into his head.
All of these make Legato an appealing person to talk to about magical craftsmanship. He might not have the same background blacksmith knowledge as Four but he can cover the usage of magic in enchanting weapons. Furthermore, Legato mentions having some rare crafting materials like fairy dust that could have caught Four's attention so Four now has more motivation to get to know Legato on account of them both having interest in aspects of craftsmanship. It also informs Four that Legato isn’t likely to get into arguments with others and that it might be difficult for Legato to engage with everyone. Four was in the clearing when Legato and Wind came back from their water run in chapter 2 of Puppet Show and most likely saw how Legato retreated once his companion was gone so it is possible that Four noticed that Legato does better in one-to-one interactions compared to large group conversations.
Additionally, chapter 4 of Puppet Show is when Four and Legato start having friendly physical touch. Examples of this are Four bumping Legato's shoulder to get his attention, and Legato later reciprocating by jabbing Four in the side for laughing at everyone's reaction to Legato's magical knowledge. We know that from from later on in LU Doppelgänger AU, the other heroes aren’t used to initiating physical contact with each other by the time that Legato gets axed by the Shadow courtesy of a comment from Starlight-Eclipsed on chapter 1 of Matrioshka’s Brain to t4d0. So, it is significant that Four feels comfortable with Legato at this point to initiate contact first. Legato has an easier time than the other heroes on account of his familiarity with their alternate selves (Chain ver.1) but Four doesn’t have any of that background. Four’s ease with Legato is purely based on their interactions now.
If you go through LU, while Four isn’t self-contained completely, he occasionally slaps/pats people on the back but that happens twice throughout the entire comic and he only allows someone to touch him in a friendly manner outside of a life or death situation only directly after Twilight enters the room after being cured and stabilized. Even when reconciling with Wild, he offers the item without ever touching Wild. So these friendly touches, Four has with Legato this early on in the story is an indication of Four's growing comfort with interacting with Legato.
Baby Doll
Alright so now that we’ve established that by the end of Puppet Show Four and Legato are friendly with each other and that Four is growing more comfortable with Legato we can move onto Baby Doll!
Baby Doll is not a very Four and Legato centered work but it does establish Legato and Four interacting with each other outside the scope of what we observe. It’s essentially sets up Four and Legato spending more time with each other in the background of the greater narrative.
In chapter 1 of Baby Doll, Four and Legato briefly interact near the end of the chapter when Chain ver. 2 begin discussing their inventories. Four and Legato briefly interact when the group’s attention is drawn towards Legato’s sword Caladbolg. Four leans in to examine the sword and comments on how cumbersome such a large sword is for Legato but he still manages to wield it. It’s a small interaction but it is evidence that Four and Legato are comfortable enough with each other that the other can intrude into their personal space.
There is a funny comparison between LU and LU Doppelgänger AU in this chapter since in LU, Four is the one compared to Time’s large sword and the group jokes about it. In LU Doppelgänger, Legato is the person whose height is being compared to his almost disproportionate sword. It’s a fun little difference between the series and draws a small parallel between both characters!
Later on in the same chapter, Legato goes to join Four and Wild's discussion on the advantages of different weapon types which reinforces the conclusions that Four most likely drew from Puppet Show. At this point, Four has probably gotten a good grasp on Legato's magic and weapon interests and realize that the pair have a few common topics outside of hero work to share!
There's also some implied hangouts between the two characters in chapter 2 of Baby Doll as Legato starts the chapter by coming back from getting water for the group with Four. I can't imagine that the two of them wouldn't talk to each other during this so we know that they are getting to know each other more. After all, when Legato went on a water run with Wind—the two of them ended up talking more about their respective lives and bonding. Furthermore, given how much Legato already cares about Four—there is no way he wouldn’t try to get closer as he is “speedrunning his found family arc.”
After comforting Wild, Legato goes out of his way to tell him to leave Four and him out of the tampered food which makes sense since neither was involved in messing with Wild but also shows Legato going out of his way to look out for Four which was something that Legend nor any other hero does in LU.
So while Baby Doll doesn’t have many Four and Legato interactions, it does show that the pair are gradually becoming more comfortable with each other. Legato already comes in with a high level of comfort with the others but Four is showcased to be more willing to intrude into Legato’s personal space and include him in conversations about weaponry.
To Dance on a String
Now we're going to discuss the work that really cemented Four and Legato's relationship: To Dance on a String.
This is the work in which we get the first major Four and Legato hangout and it is a turning point in their relationship. I would consider this work to be when Four and Legato go from just being friendly with each other to genuinely being friends.
In chapter 1 of To Dance on a String, Chain ver. 2 arrives in Legend’s Hyrule and the group is quickly divided into groups to explore the town. Four goes out of his way to ask Legato if he wants to partner with him and find the town’s blacksmith. Legato is surprised at the offer and notes that he usually gets paired with whoever is left which demonstrates that this is the first time that Four has initiated a proper hangout with Legato. Four doesn’t usually go out of his way to seek out specific members in the group in LU—we see him with a few characters but have no idea if he is the one initiating these encounters. Furthermore, most of these encounters with the other heroes in LU are centered around some sort of task rather than something to just unwind or low stakes. There’s always some kind of purpose behind those encounters—Twilight and Four went into town to figure out what time period or unusual activities they could find in Divine Dark Reflections pt1 and he enlists Legend and Hyrule to work on the sword that Wild presumably needs to fight with. When it’s downtime and there’s nothing urgent to be done, Four rarely seeks the other heroes out. So Four’s decision to seek out Legato to do a low-stakes activity in Legend’s presumably safe Hyrule is very telling on how Four views Legato. Four wants to spend time with Legato in a context entirely separate from their roles as teammates and as heroes. He wants to get to know Legato as a friend.
(I want to clarify that I’m not saying Four is only using the other heroes but he tends to be a bit more reserved compared to some other heroes. This results in him taking a backseat in some of the group interactions unless he has significant reason to enter the conversation. There is nothing wrong with Four only usually seeking company when it is easier to get a task done with more people but the task tends to take more priority in those situations. There is an exception when Four and Twilight are investigating the town since they have a heart to heart conversation in which Four comforts and advises Twilight and reveals a little about his own experience as a hero so these interactions are still bonding activities. I just think that most of the time Four focuses on whatever goal rather than bonding with the other character(s) in the interaction.)
Furthermore, Four is offering for the two of them to go find the town’s blacksmith. While there are definitely some practical purposes for finding a blacksmith, restocking arrows for example, blacksmithing is a topic that both Four and Legato have brought up with each other. Four is a career blacksmith and Legato has proven time and time again that he understands weaponry and the magical side of weapon and tool creation. It shows that Four has been paying attention to Legato’s interests!
Additionally, while Legato and Four start off their outing with the goal of trying to find the blacksmith—they aren’t very focused on finding one throughout the chapter. They get sidetracked into a conversation about enchantments—Legato’s specialty. Four is curious about Legato and he knows that Legato is passionate about magic based on his answer on Wild’s usage of time magic in Puppet Show. He’s letting Legato talk and fill up space—something Legato only does on occasion in the group. Remember, Legato still views himself as a largely inconsequential tag-along to this version of his brothers. He stayed because he didn’t want to accidentally ruin the bonds that come from this adventure for any of the others. While LU Doppelgänger AU follows Legato and how he is making changes to the timeline, Legato at this point wants the timeline to follow as closely to how it was when he adventured with Chain ver. 1 which means he actually sticks to the sidelines during big events early on. That’s why it’s so important that Four let’s Legato guide the conversation while only chiming in to add an anecdote or ask for clarification. Four has noticed that Legato retreats into himself and has repeatedly gone out of the way to get Legato to interact with everyone and the fact that he’s doing this outside of a larger group setting indicates Four’s care to Legato as a friend more than a teammate.
Their conversation is cut short when Legato notices Hyrule and Wild up ahead and he runs after them causing Four to follow suit. With practically no words, Legato conveys to Four about a plan to surprise the Explorer duo and Four joins in readily. Four doesn’t know what Legato has planned for the duo but he’s down for whatever scheme Legato has concocted. Four is so playful in this moment—something we don’t get to see as often in LU. Of course, Four and Legato don't spring a surprise on the Explorer Duo since they are having a serious heart to heart about the differences between eras. The two are resigned to simply waiting for Wild and Hyrule to move on so they can leave without having intruded on their talk when Wild mentions in a roundabout way that Legato is lucky to have grown up in an era so plentiful. Wild says that Legato’s insistence on teamwork and his adventures are so strange compared to what he’s used to. He inadvertently looks down on Legato’s experience.
And that hurts Legato.
Deeply.
Legato just shuts down after hearing Wild say that about him and Hyrule’s sort of agreement. He’s unresponsive even when Four repeatedly calls out to him. He’s spiraling badly and Four yells out Link to finally shock him back to awareness. Four’s remarkably gentle with Legato once he’s gotten his attention since this is the first time Four has seen Legato ever shut down like that. He can tell that Legato isn’t okay despite Legato’s reassurance but is hesitant to push him.
Anyway that’s when everything goes to hell in a different way as the knights descend upon our tiny duo and they have to flee the scene! During their encounter with the knights, Four is initially confused and outraged as to why the knights have decided to attack them and fights back. Legato manages to grab Four while the knights are disorientated and gets them to safety by using his speed boots. Four doesn’t know where they’re going at this point besides “away” but he trusts Legato to get them out of this mess. Which shows a remarkable sense of trust that has built between the two of them over the course of this adventure—since Four complies with little questioning.
Four is aggrieved by the entire situation and his indignation and insults towards the knights gets Legato to laugh after everything. Unfortunately, this means that Legato is going to have to Talk about his Feelings now.
Now we are going onto the scene that really sold Four and Legato as a duo to me—Four listens to every argument Legato comes up with in defense of Wild and Hyrule and advocates for Legato against Legato himself.
Four tells Legato that he’s earned his title as a hero. Four tells Legato that he’s allowed to be hurt by what they said despite them being Legato’s friends. Four reminds Legato that all of them were only able to get so far because of the help they received from others. Receiving help isn’t shameful and that actually gets through to Legato.
What sells Four and Legato’s friendship to me, is just how much both of them support and understand each other. Legato drags Four out of his shell just as much as Four drags Legato back into the world. Legato got Four to agree to a prank toward Wild and Hyrule because he knows that Four wouldn’t pass on an opportunity to mess with someone. Legato got Four to talk with the others early on by introducing Four’s blacksmithing ability as a useful skill for the group. Legato extended his hand towards Four first. Four continuously reaches back and pulls Legato into the larger group right with him. Four treats Legato’s presumed two adventures with respect even if Legato only ever jokes about them. Four listens to Legato’s warnings and interests. Four cuts through Legato’s self-depreciation with so much care for Legato.
The reciprocity of Four and Legato’s friendship is what makes these two my favorite duo in the entire series.
Now this isn’t the end of this post! We’re moving onto chapter 2 of To Dance on a String!
In the aftermath of chapter 1’s emotional conversation, Four and Legato decide to stay out in the fields outside of Legend’s Hyrule. The pair are eventually found by Wolfie and Legato makes some allusions about Wolfie being Twilight without being too obvious that gets Four too laugh at Twilight’s expense.
There’s a noticeable ease between Four and Legato after everything. Legato is mostly honest with Four about how he feels after anything. He’s emotionally exhausted and he tells Four that “Today sucked.” Four and Legato joke about the previous event and there is a general light-hearted atmosphere between the two of them as they travel to Legend’s home.
What’s important to notice here is that Legato is honest with Four. Legato is a person who has repeatedly avoided talking about his emotions throughout the series. While not referenced directly here, Legato had an emotional reaction towards a physical change he undergoes on Wild’s Hyrule that Warriors and Hyrule stumble upon. This is in chapter 3 of Porcelain Veneer and noticeably, Legato does not explain to either heroes why he had such a bad reaction. He skirts around the actual issue there but is honest in the aftermath of his conversation with Four. Today sucked is a small line but Legato’s being honest about how he feels.
Upon entering Legend’s home, Legato and Four are confronted with Time who asks if they are okay and then immediately follows up with frustration at the two of them for disappearing for 3.5 hours after confirming their condition. Four is annoyed at the perceived slight against his and Legato’s ability to handle themselves. Time and Four start to argue before Legato intervenes and tells Time it was his fault that they were gone for so long. Legato claims incompetence on his part—telling Time that he panicked and grabbed Four and ran from the knights. Legato tells Time that Four and he got lost in Legend’s Hyrule.
Time drops his interrogation of Four and Legato and tells the two that Wild made food which Legato awkwardly declines stating that he’s tired and is going to bed early. This is very out of character for him and Four is immediately on high alert but doesn’t confront Legato on his actions.
Four is right to be concerned by Legato’s retelling of events because it inaccurately portrays what happened. During that fight, Legato pulled Four out of the way of an incoming arrow since Four hadn’t registered the knights as a threat yet. Legato breaks the horde around Four by using his Deku lead to blow two of the three knights into the street while Four deals with the last one. Lastly he was the one that navigated the town to get them away from the knights. So while Four could have dealt with the knight any himself—since he could split to get a numbers advantage—Legato still significantly contributed to the fight. Legato doesn’t explain any of this to Time and instead puts all the blame onto himself when in reality the only reason everything went so smoothly was because of Legato. So Four, who knows all of this and knows that Legato took Wild’s words badly earlier in the day has some very important reasons to be concerned by Legato’s recounting of events. Legato is none of what he described himself to Time and it shows that Legato’s perception of himself has been negatively affected by Wild and Hyrule.
In clarification from Starlight-Eclipsed in the comment section of chapter 2 of To Dance on a String, they state that Four is taking Legato’s explanation of the events and his subsequent actions as evidence that Legato took what Wild said about him to heart—that Legato is incompetent and irresponsible. This worry is further compounded by Legato skipping a meal to go to bed—something Legato always fights about normally.
Now seeing as how Four and Legato were friends prior to this event and then became even closer afterwards, Four is going to harbor some negative feelings about Wild and Hyrule due to how they hurt Legato. He won’t allow these feelings to negatively impact the group as a whole but he is siding with Legato. From his understanding, Wild and Hyrule hurt Legato. They were not aware of his presence there but they went behind Legato’s back and diminished his accomplishments which negatively impacted Legato’s self-esteem. His opinion on the two heroes has been lowered after the events of To Dance on a String and will influence how he treats these two heroes as the series progresses.
Four is a good friend and a good teammate. Legato is both his friend and his teammate. However, from this point on, Wild and Hyrule might end up as just temporary teammates due to their actions.
Velveteen Rabbit
Velveteen Rabbit covers what happens shortly after the To Dance on a String as the work opens with Chain ver.2 leaving Legend’s Hyrule. There are not many Four and Legato interactions in this work but it does demonstrate the impact of what happened in the previous one. Since Legato took the blame in order to prevent a fight between Time and Four, protecting Four again–similar to when he reminded Wild that neither Four or he were involved with messing with Wild’s belongings, it has been decided that two are currently banned from partnering. Which is a shame because it was neither Four’s nor Legato’s fault for what happened in To Dance on a String.
Four is annoyed at how Chain ver.2 are not taking his experience as a hero seriously after what happened but he doesn’t start an argument about it. Once again, Four is demonstrating his maturity and his experience with teams by not making a scene and acquiescing to the ban. He’s willing to wait it out in order for the team to work smoothly. Now that Four is unavailable, Legato searches for someone else to partner with but Wind–the other person Legato is close to–asks to join Time in order to sort out timeline confusion so Legato is last to find someone to pair with. Legato and Sky do pair up together but that only occurs once everyone else pairs up so it is proving Legato’s earlier statement that no one chooses him during group outings. The only time someone has reached out to Legato unprompted was Four and while Legato definitely loves the other heroes, it is telling that Legato usually has to pair up with whoever is last.
Legato and Four don’t interact until the end of the work when everyone regroups. This is when we see a major divergence from LU. Chain ver. 2 are discussing cultural differences when they start talking about the properties of gold. Four is telling Twilight that gold is the most malleable metal to work with when Wild chimes in that the gold weapons he’s used to are strong. There’s nothing inherently wrong about Wild explaining his experience with gold weapons but Four becomes visibly annoyed at the comment and fires back that Wild is being hypocritical considering how he just lost his sword. This prompts Time to confirm that statement and then ask Four if it would be possible to craft Wild a new sword. In LU, Four would have offered to start working on a sword for Wild if he wasn’t already working on one but here Four flatly refuses. He tells Time it would take too long to craft one which is true but he doesn’t offer to even start crafting a new sword for Wild. Legato notes that this is uncharacteristic of Four and this difference is because Four has a lowered opinion of Wild in this timeline.
Essentially, Velveteen Rabbit is a showcase of how Legato and Four’s friendship has altered the timeline. It demonstrates Four’s maturity in how he deals with the questioning of his abilities after leaving Legend’s Hyrule but also his defense of his friends–in this case, Legato. Four’s decision to not make Wild a sword despite it being a presumably net positive for the group since they would have all members at full capability showcases just how important Legato is to Four at this point. Four is putting Legato’s pain above providing Wild with a new sword that would have been made to withstand Wild’s fighting style. Four isn’t massively harming the group in that decision seeing as Wild can scavenge for a sword and has ranged weapons to draw from but his dissatisfaction with Wild is immediately evident to anyone familiar with him. In some ways, it shows a childish side to Four that we only really get to see because of Legato. Childish in how he’s addressing the problem but his heart is in the right place.
In conclusion
The first five works in LU Doppelgänger AU essentially set up Legato and Four’s friendship. Puppet Show covers first contact and Four and Legato gradually come to understand and warm up to each other. Baby Doll establishes that Legato and Four are spending down time with each other outside of the viewpoint we have access to. To Dance on a String showcases the events that cement Four and Legato being genuinely good friends as it allows Four to see Legato’s vulnerability and help deal with Legato’s self-esteem issues. Legato also gets the opportunity to be honest with someone about what’s going on even if he doesn’t share the totality of the situation. Velveteen Rabbit demonstrates how much Four values his friendship with Legato as he prioritizes Legato’s pain over supplying Wild with a proper sword.
Legato and Four work so well as a friendship because they both push the other into more active roles within Chain ver.2 and allow each other to be vulnerable, childish, bold, and respected despite their appearances. Through their relationship in LU Doppelgänger AU, we are able to explore more sides to Four and Legato has someone who will call him out on his self-deprecation and spiraling while supporting him.
#lu doppelgänger au#PART 1 IS FINISHED#I DID NOT PROOFREAD THIS I WAS TOO EXCITED#someone please come up with a duo name my brain is too fried to think anymore#if there are grammar errors oh well#or spelling errors#this is my love letter to the series#the format is a little all over the place but 50/50 on whether or not i will go and fix anything at this point#anyway this is why I compared myself to a wildlife documentarian/photographer a couple of days ago#7k of me just yapping about these two actually—got word count wrong the first time#edited to add fix some errors and added a little bit more to Puppet Show section
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Well, at least Fukuzawa got his wish granted, I guess.... he's finally inside Fukuchi <3
#bungou stray dogs#bsd spoilers#bsd 120.5#please laugh i know i made myself laugh.... if only to keep from crying lol#the oocification of Fukuzawa will be studied in the history books for years to come#that's not my fukuzawa...... that's his discount twin fucksack#because his dick is so far up the ass of his dead pathetic dumbass crusty ex boyfriend it's not even funny#he is dickriding that fucker HARD#and here i thought the FANDOM woobified fukuchi out the wazoo. but oh my god no fukuzawa himself has them all beat this chapter#man is coco for cocopuffs and babying that grown-ass man like he's 5#it's truly pathetic and depressing to see i'm just beyond words#'you deceived him by keeping quiet the issues that would plague a union of mankind' NO??? LITERALLY ANYONE WITH A BRAIN WOULD KNOW#THAT THAT WOULD NEVER FUCKING WORK???? THAT IT'S THE STUPIDEST MOST NAIVE PLAN AND VIEW OF THE WORLD IMAGINABLE????#WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS IS A TODDLER INSTEAD OF A GROWN-ASS SOLDIER WITH YEARS OF MILITARY EXPERIENCE#Fyodor feels like the only one at this point that hasn't truly lost the plot in all this...... the only one with a goddamn brain#I HATE THAT I HAVE TO AGREE WITH HIM!!!!!!!!! I HATE THAT IT FELT SO CATHARTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i hate even more that the series clearly doesn't want us to agree with him and instead believe that fukuzawa is still right#even though he was spouting the most naive braindead bullshit imaginable that early series Fukuzawa would NEVER SAY#WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN BRO??? WHY DO YOU CARE MORE ABOUT DEFENDING THE HONOR OF THAT CRUSTY MF THAN#THE SAFETY OF YOUR KIDS????#WHERE DID ALL YOUR INTELLIGENCE GO#i fucking hated the writing ever since fukuchi's plan/motives were first revealed and it was played completely straight (and gay lol)#but to hear fukuzawa actually come out and defend that ridiculous bs is just.......... again i have no words#it's insane. what happened. what happened to you fukuzawa. all i can do is laugh it's so sad it's so stupid. I WAS CRINGING SO BAD.#and was so glad when he finally died so he finally SHUT THE FUCK UP. i hate it here. i miss when BSD was good so bad man 😭😭😭#it would be one thing if it felt like he's so deep in grief that he's completely deluded himself that fukuchi was right and had pure motive#and wasn't an idiotic piece of shit himself just like fyodor#but nah again it just feels like we're supposed to side with him lmao even though fyodor was exactly right in everything he said#when your villain sounds more intelligent/correct than your hero and that's not an intentional writing choice..... that's not good bros!!!#anyway may your stupidity be purified in the soul of your dead bf fukuzawa 🙏 and we get the true you back
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We all know Timmy is Wanda’s mama’s boy but we need to keep in mind he’s still Cosmo’s kid too and that Cosmo would love him just as vehemently as Wanda

#fairly oddparents#not that anyone has portrayed him different#certainly not distance he loves Timmy he probably says it the most in the show and in fanon#but still- watching New Wish there felt like there was a disconnect with Cosmos character-like he wasn’t as well defined as he was in OG#that’s in part due to them toning him down from being an idiot plain and simple but I feel like it wasn’t fitted with something else it was#simply taken away#just to say he didn’t have as much of a presence to me in New Wish as Wanda did and I crave spinning Cosmo around in my brain#I want to see Poof being his Dad’s Boy yknow and I want to see cosmo doting and I want to see when he gets like. parental rage for the sake#of his kids#yknow? Yknow? part of him feeling detached in a new wish has translated into him not wanting to get as close to Hazel as he did Timmy-#to try and play it more like godparents are supposed to- just a presence for a couple months#but also because like. he got SO attached to Timmy and he’ll never regret it and he’d never do anything different#but idk. if it were me I wouldn’t have the capacity to go through losing my godkid again after becoming that attached#that’s not even mentioning that they don’t HAVE to be in hazel’s life the same way they were in Timmy’s because Timmy was going through#neglect and Hazel has loving family and friends all around her at all times- her blocks are mental#in that way cosmo and Wanda just have to do the Typical Godparent Job of aiding her- not becoming people she desperately needs in life#which also bleeds into why I think Peri was having such a. difficult time#godparents aren’t supposed to be attached the way his family was to Timmy and that how he learned it#but his first godkid is Not Easy and lends immediately to the issues Timmy was having where he HAS parents he HAS things (though . Timmy#was not rich and would sometimes not be fed… dev’s dad also forgets to feed him but dev is still able to eat you know)#and how he grew up with his parents as godparents and how he’s been taught are conflicting and it’s nature vs doing a good job quoteunquote#I didn’t mean to ramble so damn much in the tags I’m really sorry#told myself if I had more to say I’d write it down and post it later but I must be heard.
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I worry that people are mad at me so often and the unfortunate part about that is even if I haven't done anything to make them mad ( but what if smthn I did was misinterpreted?? How would I even know??) my brain will manage to convince me that not only are they mad at me but I MUST have done SOMETHING.
Which wouldn't be as convincing without the fact that I HAVE had a couple of instances where I have totally blacked out for a second and done something. I mean I was a kid but what if amiright?
#the first time was at Christmas and I litetally blacked out for a second and fell#Thankfully i didnt do anythung but one second i was going to sit on the arm of a couch and the next i was falling#the other time i was on the bus with my friend#and i was holding a pen#and then i blacked out for a secons and scribbled on smthn important to them#idk why i did that#i dont remember what i said afterward#and i dont think we ever discussed it again#but like#what was that#anyway so now that ive rememvered that can happen my brain is trying to convince me that maybe i just blacked out#and said something or did something#when I was a kid it was only twice and it was for literal seconds but what if now that im older#its longer#anyway#this has been me talking#vent#technically not a vent#idk what to call tjis#the blacking out thing is quite literal#black screen moment#i dont thunk its happened since#i hope not#i also hope im not making all that up for some reasom#genuinely thats how i rememver it#but maybe i DID do it on purpose#hghh#im having a bad time lmao#im just v anxious
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~ Das Veilchen - Johann Wolfgang Goethe
thomas lawrence and who? im sorry i just immediately thought of him and what ship this could fit, my brain works in magical ways (im offering thomas/vincent btw but i bet sth else could work as well)
read the tags for more unhinged rambling about lawrenitez
#poetry#conclave#thomas lawrence#lawrenitez?#what ship is this?#the flower is definitely very lawrence core#my yapping#when i first read i was immediately like oh oh no this is thomas#thomas is very clearly the flower to me but for the girl im kind of indecisive#my immediate though was vincent because of the second paragraph#but vincent would NEVER have stomped the flower thats why im kind of like meh idk#but thomas' reaction and him thinking he was able to blissfully die at the hands of vincent just feels so right#literally the canon when vincent ends up elected at pope and that literally brings back thomas' faith and he actually views vincent as an#angel of sorts#hello yes this is what happens inside my brain#i actually think i could go on for way longer still but hmm#fuck why did i put all of this in the tags instead of the post itself noooooo#lawrenitez
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rewatching albedo events for reasons and this was all i could think about
#edit i just realized the first hour of this video is actually just his story quest. i kept thinking like. i thought i remembered#playing that tho.... LMAO#genshin impact#albedo#aphelion.txt#sometimes i think we underestimate his audhd swag#like the autism (metaphor?) is obvious but i think im also bonking him with the headcanon stick of adhd#just the constant brain running off in a million tangents and directions on connections that only make sense to him. lol#it's not just a 'people can't keep up with him bc he's brilliant' (although this is also true) it's that he has 13 ideas at once and no#higher authority making him prioritize#oh to be a researcher studying whatever the hell whim i want all day in an isolated mountain cave........#also rediscovering my love for the dragonspine soundtrack man why did it go so hard#also also why is dragonspine just called yukiyama in japanese that's so BORINGGG#yeah the mountain with snow on it is called snow mountain. big whoop#aether
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Coding woes (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Ukadevlog#Bug testing sure is something lol#These are both problems I've figured out now luckily! And I did them on my own! :D Extra pleased with myself :3#My slightly cocky attitude of ''Well that was frustrating - luckily I'll never run into another problem again'' amuses me lol#'Cause in the moment everything's flying! The code comes together lovely and it's all great! And then I come up to the next thing#Something I haven't done before - something that there's no Direct how-to of how to do a thing#Like setting player-and-character pronouns! I didn't know how to do that! But I figured it out!! :0 What a rush haha#It really did take me an evening of knocking my head against the wall in attempts - I waaaayyy overcomplicated it to start haha#I was like - trying to set up a system that would call on specific pronoun sets individually based on player input#Ridiculous - so much easier to just slap some values into an envelope and have those tied to a specific shell lol#But that took all night! I got sleepy while working on it and even my drowsy brain was like Wait...what am I supposed to check against? Haha#Such a weird experience subconsciously as well :0 'Cause I had normal dreams that night#Maybe some slight code-adjacent dreams of A Screen With Text On It but that could be anything :P#Most of it was just normal dream melodrama - but in the few times I woke up to readjust or roll over or pull my blanket#It was juuuuust enough for my ''conscious'' brain to kick in and think about what to compare against - what structure would work#And so by the time I woke up proper I had to frantically write down a bunch of code in a spare word document so I wouldn't go stir crazy lol#Breakfast must wait! Dailies must wait! I Have to write this down!!#And when I implemented it - it worked exactly as I hoped it would and is much much Muuuuuch simpler to call upon haha#Wow! That was a weird fluke that definitely won't happen again! Haha#I don't actually believe that I just have no way of guessing which aspect will trip me up - This Should Be Easy! And then it isn't lol#Definitely didn't predict the second - Especially because other than a small roadbump of not knowing how to Shell-Switch (ty again Cherry ♥)#Everything up to then was going well and everything after that was going fine! Until The One Thing happened pffbtl#I wanted to assign a value to check if a specific piece of code was being called upon - basically a fork between two outcomes#That went fine! The value Was changing! But only the first fork was being called???#No lol I just didn't put the second = ugh pft - and what's more frustrating is that I'd been using == up to that point!! I'd been warned!!!!#I - for some reason - was convinced that using && would make the value check Only need to check If x = 1... That's not how it works......#It's an If statement! If x = 1 then why do I have to check IF x == 1! Just check!!! Hwagh rules and whatnot lol#Like I said it's all fixed now but sheesh! What a silly mistake! I knew better!! And now I double know better haha
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i say this as someone whos friends w a handful of plural/DID buds.. it's okay to come to terms with ur plurality. it's okay to say you have DID. its a frustrating thing to have and the world is very unkind to those with DID/who are plural. you kind of seem to brush off the really horrible trauma that seemed to happen to you really young, at least what i can glean from ur public posts and art. no, it's not normal for the bulk of everyone to have seperate identities or "guys" in their heads to cope with the world, but thats okay! no two people will experience mental illness in the same way. but sorry yeah, was going thru ur blog bcos ive been off tumblr for a min and saw the post conflating "alters/headmates" with "ocs/kinning". i mean this in the nicest way, they are not even close. me having a guy i project things i like/parts of me is not the same as having ur forming identity shattered into pieces by trauma and then ur brain coping to try and "fix" it by making a guy or guys to try and manuver the world
We all have parts maybe trauma just makes them more distinguishable. I was calling what were basically alters Ocs for the entire duration of middle and highschool and blurring the lines between straight up compartmentalized bits of self to serve a function, maladaptive daydreaming, and actual character writing. I think it's mostly fine with some awareness. For me it's just different words to describe things that perform the exact same function to various degrees. It's like a spectrum. But it's personal to everyone. I don't say that to negate my own trauma I say that but I think we can all be considered plural if we really looked hard enough.
Human brains don't follow DSM rules. Words and labels were made to serve us, not the other way around. I appreciate the sentiment it seems in good faith but in my opinion It's not helpful to fit brains in boxes
I am taking note of how it is safer to call an alter an oc than to accidentally call an oc an alter and perhaps I will have to think about that further and what it implies regarding internalized fears, but there is some genuine comfort in "not committing" to the idea and just letting feelings and thoughts come as they are, as they present themselves
#a little brainfoggy today so maybe ill make a better worded follow up but i dunno#its also noteworthy thag the way i was diagnosed(?)(got it put on my medical records at least) was total bullshit. i was 17 years old and#it was an over the phone. first appointment. like thats bullshit. thats proof this is all bullshit#esp since other people who actually know wtf was going on with themselves have to fight to be medically recognized like that#i did not know what the fuck was going on#“do yoh sometimes feel like there are other people in your head? do you hear voices?”#and i said yes i feel like a different person often and i hear voices but i dont hallucinate them.#its like someone else is beaming thoughts in my brain#and i said yes to dissociating often starting when i was 11#get to see DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER everytime a doctor or Fucking dentists computer has my file open since then.#solidifying that its all bullshit and that diagnoses and medicalized terms are often farts in the god damn wind to me.#if doctors are being so flimsy like that then why cant we find some meaning where we want to?
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torisai brainrot is the worst
#me at first: toritsuka n saiki are such a silly duo!1!1!1#now it’s like i can’t go a hour without thinking about them#they pop into my brain randomly#i was at school walking down the stairs thinking about something completely unrelated and my brain went torisai#out of all dynamics to get obsessed with why did it have to be them??? i hate them#also it’s not just romantic torisai it’s them in general#akdhndjdhdjk#astralis talks#el’s goofy tdlosk shit
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hey again pt 1 i ran outta tags lol
#its okay your first Tumblr post is never perfect lol#also feel free to reblog mine and talk in the tags too if you want you dont have to but you can#i dont mind that you're here if i did i would have just blocked you but i just wanna make sure its not at your expense#i care about you too and i just want you to do what is best for you#im sorry youre not doing well#trust me i know a thing or two about guilt#its why i haven't been reaching out to either or you#i just feel like i fucked everything up for you both and just made everything worse and that its better for you both if im not around#im sorry you dont come here to listen to me whine#for what its worth i forgive you#and i absolve you of any sin#sorry if thats weird but i wish i could go to confessional and have that said to me but theres no queerfriendly catholic church that i know#im sorry i can't help you with the best for you/best for the herd mentality#ive always been trying to be the perfect oldest daughter and take up as little time and space as possible so i guess were kinda matching#maybe try to start with small things#picking out a nice snack for yourself#idk girl lol#deltarune has been sooooo fun omggggg#susie susie my beloved omg#shes everything i wish i was#i think you would like it tho some of the dialogue might hit a little too hard if youre brains acting like mine lol#i have no clue what jimmy actually likes playing lol hes just been playing my vampire deck lol#cuz i spilt it into smaller ones to teach him and now that we have two i have started teaching him commander#also you dont get to worry about me without me worrying about you#sooooooo yeah take that#im an Olympic level worrier#im worrying about things that havent even or will never happen#i miss you too#and i think thats why I've been so distant is that im so scared we'll never be able to go back and itll just get worse trying#and trust me i get feeling like you have to keep it all locked up lol
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its nearly 2 am. i am neck deep in a hyperfixation i've had since i was 6, same time sp came into my life for good.
i am, in my mind, rolling around on AU ideas and really. REALLY debating on it.
#pine prattles#or im gonna make marshwalker WEIRD. been talking it out with the stan in my brain.#and like. if we just made this guy act like Wolf. maybe it'd be so cool and awesome#just.... if he was raised wolfishly. and thats why he was the first up on the line of 'you go through the fucked up portal to meet elves'#bc hes a WEIRDO. so theyre just willing to toss him into the isekai.#plus it makes the 'are all humans like this' '....yes?' even funnier#bc no. that bitch is a dog.#the idea of this also helps with the concept of his 'familiar' truly just being himself#that can be separated physically with magic but its still Just Him#if you pet the dog. you're petting him.#oh my GOD adrian did doodles ill have to post in hte morning of marshwalker getting petted by the king i cant bevleve i forgor
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me after i finished reading legendborn:
EXCUSE ME, TRACY DEONN, WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO PLUCK AT MY HEARTSTRINGS LIKE A FUCKING GUITAR PLAYER??
[gif credit: @shegos]
#WHy isn’t there more hype abt this book on tumblr!?#that was rhetorical don’t answer that. i KNOW why :/#legendborn#no thoughts head full. i want to say so much more!! but#my brain is full of love for bree & garbled kettle noises only atm <33#man… this book is so refreshing & sooo good i’m cryingggg 😭#no fr i did actually tear up at several scenes. miss deonn is an EXCELLENT writer#& gosh that ending…. phenomenal#i picked up this book knowing only that it was abt magic & knew nothing else. it surprised me in a very very pleasant manner#hands down the best book i’ve read this year so far#i mean it has secret societies; magic obviously; centres around a black girl; is a story abt grief; is inspired by the legend of arthur and#merlin; impeccably done research & i’m definitely forgetting smth but — what more could u want???#i kid u not i was at the edge of my seat near the end & kept having to come back bc i kept going over the words so fast. OH the intrigue!!#i was so curious as to how it would all pan out; & that’s not all - i felt butterflies in my stomach (FIRST TIME that’s ever happened :D)#also i was laughing while i was crying but most importantly- the paaaaaaaaain. sharp enough to pierce my heart#id in alt text
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i feel like i got severance'd when i started liking looney tunes and anytime i stop being obsessed w it for a while thats just like. a different guy. hm i was really obsessed w dragon ball in january and drew fanart and was planning on watching every piece of dragon ball media ever.... #dont remember #dont care. who was that guy. this has been going on for years and it really shouldnt surprise me at this point and on some level it doesnt even really bother me but it somehow shocks me every single time.
#ITS REALLY SO WEIRD !!!!! ILL NEVER UNDERSTAND#like on some level i KNEW i wasnt gonna get through all dragon ball media before losing interest#but internally i kinda dont *really* know that. like in the back of my head i was like “hmm but THIS one will be the exception”#i was plowing through library books right before this latest looney tunes bout an i have like 10+ checked out right now#and now im like hmmm dont really care abt these anymore.... not sure why i checked a lot of them out in the first place...oh except this on#i can relate it to looney tunes tangentially ok ill keep that one#*wakes up surrounded by a bunch of weird ass library books and writings* damn who the fuck closed last night#who was in my room reading the bible and the marquis de sade. cuz i dont think that was me that doesnt sound like something id do#where did these outlines for a bizzare paradise lost style epic in my docs come from#sry to the charlie who wrote those ig youll have to take a break for a while i got struck by the looney tunes lightning again#its not even like i do too much at one time or i run outta the most interesting content its like a pretty predictable timescale so im kinda#racing against the clock. like ok i have ONE MORE WEEK of dragon ball interest to finish ALL of it. right now it FEELS like ill never#be interested in anything else but ik i will so i gotta hurry#and now it feels like i literally might never watch anything dragon ball related again and that doesnt bother me at all#ive tried pacing myself to make the interest last longer too an it jus doesnt work... it comes an goes whenever#fascinating. can someone dissect my brain and tell me what the fucks going on in there#charlie words
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