#why don't you both try ASCENDING to some THERAPY

[mstrchu]

girl help my friends keep trying to do things that will definitely make them insane

[fernslivers]

Nervous

~~

Yes, it's your wedding day, but Mizu knows this is just a formality, a civil service. So why does everyone seem to keep thinking she's nervous? She's not. She's never been nervous a day in her life.

~~

A/N: I heard ilblue's cover of lovestory x golden brown. (If you haven't heard it, please, it's fucking transcendental). I ascended, my soul left my body. Straight up put it on repeat, opened my word doc and blacked out. When I woke up, I'd written 1k words of the most sappy, sentimental fluff I think has ever escaped my brain.

I just think Mizu deserves to have a sweet wedding to someone that adores her, while her found family tries their best to be supportive in their own ways. :,)

~~

TW: I guess Ta*gen is technically there for a hot second. But I've decided I'm rehabbing him into the problematic brother he's always meant to have been. Trust me. I sent him to therapy.

~~~~

“Bet you're real nervous,” Taigen says, polishing his fingernails on the shoulder of his horrible flashy suit.

“Nope,” Mizu deadpans. The morning breeze stirs her wayward curl, the only part of her moving as she kneels in the early sunlight. Behind them, through the open French doors, her suit is waiting, laid across the dressing table of the back room she's been given to get ready in.

“I would be, if I were you. I'd be fuckin’ terrified she’d wise up at the last minute and book it.”

“Classy. Nice well-wishes.” Mizu curls her lip without opening her eyes. “Who let you back here?”

Taigen chuckles, leaning on the railing of the little patio where she's trying to meditate and center herself. A beer swings precariously in his hand. The good luck beer he brought Mizu–’to bro out before you get tied down ’–sits untouched on the little patio table. “My wife owns the venue. Nobody has to let me in.”

Mizu growls lightly, irritated, regretting letting Akemi talk them out of eloping. She might be on speaking terms with the man these days, but he's never lost his unique ability to needle her faster than anyone else she knows.

He's right, though, says that traitorous little voice at the back of her head. She could already be gone, and you don't even know. It’s so stupid, but it won't go away. What if she walks out there, and someone hands her a letter from you, explaining that you've suddenly realized–

A hand thumps her hard on the shoulder, surprising her. She looks up as Taigen pads past. His voice is studiedly casual, he carefully doesn't once look at her.

“Relax. She's just enough of an idiot to be crazy about you.”

Mizu says nothing, only listens for the click of the door shutting behind him. She shuts her eyes and tries anew to focus on the meditation, but her mind won't cooperate. All she can see is the way you had rolled over and smiled at her this morning, calling her my soon-to-be wife, and cupped her face like it was your entire world.

—

“You must be so nervous, huh?” Akemi says cheerily, tucking the last flower into Mizu's hair. Mizu sits still, just barely tolerating the touch. She was more than prepared to go out in her usual high bun, but Akemi had dug her heels in. It's your wedding day, you need some kind of pizazz, she had insisted.

They had argued for a full week before they had compromised; the normal bun … with flowers. Neither of them is actually satisfied; both have accepted sulking in silence about it.

“No.” Mizu says shortly. She shoots Akemi a sharp drop it look in the mirror.

“Really?” The woman asks, plucking at this hair and that petal until Mizu wants to scream. She just wants to be alone. To center herself. To stop wondering what you look like right now, if you're in your dress yet. If you're thinking of her. She stares at the flowers in her hair. Will you like them? Do they look stupid?

“Why should I be.”

Akemi frowns, wondering if she should tell her that you’re pretty close to an anxiety attack. That when she left your room to come back here, you'd been bent over a bucket for the last hour, and she'd had to redo your makeup twice.

Best not to, she decides. She knows Mizu, and the last thing the wedding needs is Mizu bringing the whole production to a screeching halt by rushing through the whole venue to hover anxiously over you, refusing to let anyone else near.

“Well, you look great,” she says instead, sincerely, and is rewarded by the smoothing out of Mizu's brow that is the closest the woman usually gets to a smile–for anyone that isn't you.

—

Eiji insists, despite the flowers, and the fancy suit, that something is missing from Mizu’s wedding attire.

Mizu’s face creases in confusion for a moment, before she sees the little box in the old, scarred hand.

“You didn't have to–”

The other hand is held up flat, silencing her.

“My daughter,” Eiji says very seriously. “...is getting married. Do not tell me what I had to do.”

He opens the box, gesturing her forward. Mizu swallows back the rush of tears when she sees the little pin in his hand; a perfect copy of her prized blade. It’s rare that Eiji works with anything small–he complains at the fiddly nature of it, how difficult it is to feel out the details on such a tiny canvas with his callused fingertips.

She bends for him as he reaches up, and he smiles, pats her cheek, carefully doesn't mention the wetness he can feel there. The words I'm so proud of you float between them, unsaid but understood.

“Remember, there is no need to be nervous,” Eiji reminds her sagely as he affixes the little sword pin to her lapel.

“I'm not nervous,” she retorts, her brow furrowing slightly, frustration creeping into her voice.

“Mm,” Eiji says, shaking his head. When he had brought you your own paired pin this morning, you had all but fallen across his shoulders with sobs, stammering how grateful you were to him for everything, how much you loved Mizu, how you hoped you would make him proud as a daughter-in-law.

“I must go. I want a good view,” he quips dryly, and pats Mizu once more on the shoulder before he leaves the dressing room.

—

Ringo sidles up closer while they're standing at the front of the ballroom, looking down the aisle. He’s been preening in his tailored new suit the whole opening of the ceremony, puffed up with joyous pride. He'd openly wept with happiness when Mizu had informed him--not asked--that he was the best man, and has since run a constant, gentle interference between you two, and Akemi's taste for extravagance in planning. Mizu knows the understated blue shades of the decor are partly thanks to him.

“Akemi says you aren't nervous,” he whispers.

“Shh.”

“Not at all?”

“No,” Mizu hisses from the corner of her mouth. “Shut up.” She tugs at the lapels of her suit again for the fifth time, hands shaking slightly.

Ringo sees the shaking and smiles, a warm fondness shining from every corner of his face. He steps back into place.

He knows.

—

The music is starting. It’s the one you chose together; the song you’d danced in the kitchen to, so far back that you hadn't even confessed yet, both of you pretending this was just a fun way to teach her to waltz, both of your chests burning up with yearning.

You'd played it for her as a suggestion for the wedding, snuggling up next to her on the couch, telling her how nervous she used to make you. You were so gorgeous, you'd said, smiling up from the crook of her arm. It felt so right to be in your arms. That's when I knew.

She didn't know how to tell you I always knew.

Now, it's playing through the entire room, rich and full and swelling with the weight of the emotions you've shared through it for so long. Suddenly her entire body seems to be fluttering strangely. Her palms are sweating. This is it, she thinks. The start of forever.

Part of her still scoffs in response to that; you loved her before this ceremony, you’ve lived together, slept together, she trusts that you're committed. This shouldn't even be necessary. It's outdated. It’s expensive.

You step around the corner, and the doubts about importance fall away as her mind goes blank. You raise your eyes along the aisle until they find hers waiting at the other end. Your smile is trembling through shining eyes; every ounce of love shows across the distance. Her knees feel like they're going to give out, and her gut clutches on a pang of love so strong that it aches.

You look beautiful.

–

She's reaching for you when you’re still feet away, hands outstretched unconsciously, uncaring of who can see her moment of vulnerability. She just wants her skin on yours, right now.

“Okay?” She asks you softly, wrapping your hands in hers, holding them like she always does; like they're something precious, to be cradled with utmost care. The delicacy of your touch still makes her heart race after all this time together.

“Nervous,” You murmur, smiling shakily. “Excited.”

She squeezes your hands, lips curving up as her eyes soften. Her voice is a quiet undertone, for your ears only.

“Me, too.”

[imagineitdearies]

Me looking intensily at Cazador's mind trying to figure out why he wants to sacrifice all of his 'sons' and not Cyrus,and especially Astarion why does he wants to kill astarion.

My shot is that he wants a new beggining as the ascendant,no more forced family,no more ghosts of the past,no more therapy by making some random ppl going through what you did.He is going to leave all of that behind him.

But like Tyrus is a fairly powerful mage,and I think he represents some trauma that he is not ready to leave behind even when he ascends.

But I just think he's being stupid, because as said in the fic itself there are ways to get a soul to consent, go to the lower city and say oh I need to tattoo something on you and I will give you a house, and you just need to come when I call you.

Or like idk even the servants the crazy servants.

But nope,he will kill the seven spawns and told this fairly powerful mage,and one of the seven sacrifices is the boyfriend of said powerful mage, like man...I think that fairly powerful mage who is immortal will find a way to save his boyfriend and if he fails he will pass all of eternity trying to look for a way to avenge said boyfriend,idk.

If you look at Cazador's predecessors they do not last long, they cant pass a bit more then a 100 years. So maybe Cazador,aware of this fact (me manages to last 215 years,yeah if you are an elf do not turn yourself in a vampire if you think you will be immortal, not worth it) decides to kill all of his spawn,but again...HE LETS SOME MAGE THAT WILL HAVE NOTHING TO LOOSE AND THAT WANTS TO AVENGE HIS BOYFRIEND.

And I'm just saying this from the point of view of someone who doesn't know what's going on in anyone's head.

And talking as someone who knows whats going on in some head: IT'S NOT POSSIBLE THAT CAZADOR DIDN'T THINK SOMETHING LIKE "hmmmm maybe this mage that is in a codependent relationship will do something crazy like kill everyone than himself to make sure that his boyfriend lives".

Cazador your mind is my roman empire because how can you be so intelligent (cause again this bitch managed 215 years when the ones that surpassed 100 where outliers) BUT SO STUPID.

Haha it was great to read this little rant anon, I'm glad you're so passionate about this story!!

I think some people online have joked about how Cazador must just be super petty to wait around for Astarion to return/be returned when he could have replaced him with anyone else (like Dufay fears in his journal entry). I personally don't view this is as true, based on my interpretation of the following:

How Astarion describes Cazador having plans within plans, thinking of every contingency and just generally being an excellent schemer. I'm pretty sure if this was an option, he'd have realized.

How much less competent Dufay is just for the sheer fact he switched around bottles and got both himself and his gf killed. Big F in the chat. So yeah, based on that there's a good chance he was just an idiot, and couldn't have taken Astarion's place. But even if he could, that leads me to my third reasoning...

In an Astarion origin run, Cazador says all the souls Astarion brought him are "all linked through those lines I carved on your back. All linked through blood," and if Tav goes to him knowing nothing of the ritual, he explains that each of the 7,000 souls "bear the scar of the one who brought them to me....in their blood I shall be reborn." it isn't a ton to go off, but because I find it more compelling to believe in a big bad guy's competence, my interpretation of why Cazador (or even Dufay) could stand in for Astarion while any random soul couldn't is that there needs to be both a literal and figurative blood link--the blood of at least a thousand of these souls is on Astarion's head, and arguably Dufay has their blood on his hands too, even if he didn't do the luring. No one's ledger is as dirty as Cazador's, of course. And actual blood links them altogether as well, thanks to Cazador's tendency to put his fangs in so many people's necks.

As for Tyrus getting added to this mix in PS, Cazador tells Astarion in bg3 that he was always a means to an end, important only thanks to Cazador's purposes for him. Because Tyrus's purposes can stretch beyond Cazador's Ascension, he is spared--and while Cazador isn't stupid, he is a bit overly confident that there is no other way for a spawn to overcome their master. Plus, he has never loved someone, even in his pre-vampiric days, nearly enough to sacrifice everything for them. Tyrus's unselfish love is a huge blindspot for this otherwise very competent vampire lord!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts anon, I hope you enjoyed my ramblings in return 😊

[lorrainestea]

Tales of The Empire - Morgan Elsbeth story thoughts:

Honestly about the whole series, I'm happy we got more Morgan content, but it still seems to... Shallow? I hoped we would know about her life before, at least two minutes of showing her just chilling with her friends and mom and living her life before everything turned rapidly. It would be even more tragic to see how she lost herself after the horrors she witnessed.

Also loved the woman from the Mountain Clan, good job at taking care of traumatized teenager who's mom was killed right in front of her eyes and then be like "Hey, come here and look how your home is burning and everyone you loved is dead and burning, but you just live in peace now and forget all your fears, they're stupid". Morgan acted stupidly and harshly when she wanted to destroy the rest of the droids, but omg she herself said she was a child, a traumatized child feeling guilty about her mother's death and just wanting to protect others. She felt like she must do something to protect them and of course in her head made sense that go in a fight it's the only option. She needed understanding and something better than being basically told "Calm down". And then that woman told Morgan she knows her destiny and she feels sorry for her? Ma'am that's a child that just lost everything, how about a little sympathy and try to help her otherwise when "Don't worry about anything, everything is okay" for some very strange reason didn't work?

Not to mention that we didn't even have a chance to see Morgan dealing with her emotions properly. Idk how about you, but if my people were all killed, my family was killed, I was almost killed and my culture, one part of me, just disappeared and my whole life changed this dramatically, I can imagine losing a will to live when there would be nothing left for me anymore. And again, I would need someone by my side who wouldn't even have to understand, just be there for me and see my point of view.

So let's agree Morgan needed therapy more than anything and let's move on.

Oh and for some reason Morgan lost her marks but not the crescent one on her forehead and Merrin apparently never lost hers? Like what?

They skipped the part of her life I was so curious about, I mean how exactly did she start designing weapons? How exactly did she get her post on Calodan and how did she build her lil gang?

And to her meeting with Thrawn... Look, I didn't even read the whole first Ascendency book and I still agree Eli Vanto should be there if anything else doesn't make sense (**ahem** Morgan designing TIE fighters that she would never design because Thrawn used a design of Chiss technology **ahem**). Also was it really so clown of me thinking we're gonna get deep dive in Morgan's relationship with Thrawn? Was it so naive to think they were like a mentor and a student and Thrawn saw potential in her and helped Morgan direct her ambitions and plans because it was somehow convenient for both of them?

Or am I supposed to believe that this was their whole relationship and the reason why Morgan was willing to sacrifice everything and risk everything to pick him up from a distant galaxy?

I love Morgan, I'm happy we got an extra 30 minutes of her and Diana could once again give her life, but this didn't help to completely see under the surface where the iceberg is.

[angelicgaming1007]

To continue: I'm personally of the opinion that he still loves you. Feel free to disagree feel free to think otherwise. Maybe its only a head canon. But maybe not. Its not up for debate or arguing. We can both have our own opinions and respect them agreeing to disagree. You won't change my mind and anyone who comes in to try to lecture and preach to me will be blocked thank you. in a way its theraputic to me. Its not a sexual thing I don't see him as an object and it is technically the bad ending yes. But I also don't see him as Cazador 2.0 or a monster after it. Because I am someone who works with people I always have, I studied body language and human behaviour over the years to survive. And that along with my own trauma closely mirroring his including my own coping methods. Hes not a monster. Hes not good. hes not bad. I would argue hes morally grey regardless of ending or where in the story you are. You influence that but at the end of the day hes grey. You are whats important and the fact he thinks you are degrading yourself by being with him and he STILL respects your choices after ascension. To me shows that he loves you. YES he is prickly af. But if you look at him act 1, 2 and 3. Power was always on his mind, control was always on his mind. Hes still the same hurt and damaged individual no matter what path you take him on. Hes AFRAID to lose you. You are the only love hes known in 200 years of as he puts it pure sh*t. What would someone like me who has trauma responses like me do? Someone who likes to joke, flirt and lie and people please (yes seducing is a form of people pleasing to make someone happy) to keep people on your side? They'd lie. Now in his case it does go to a cruel extreme when Ascended. But the point is hes still lying if you pay attention to his tones his inflections his eyes and body language throughout the game which they did a phenomenal job on. You learn his tells you learn the signs of when hes truthful or lying. Atleast by my observations. When he is nasty to you after breaking up and even says he'd ruin your love I truly honestly believe hes just trying to hurt you or trying to voice what HE believed would happen. Hes not evil. But hes not a hero. hes not good but hes not bad. Hes not..abusive per say but he IS toxic. thats a fact he IS toxic. But that doesn't mean people are wrong for loving him despite it. and it doesn't mean he can't change off screen someday. But he has a lot of work that needs to be done on him a lot of self reflection a lot of healing. And a lot of love he needs to get through that. We're not here to fix him. We shouldn't be expected to. You can't fix a trauma victim not really not in the way people expect to fix Astarion. Yes in real life theres medicines, therapy, hypnotherapy, etc. But if trauma could be healed so easily by other people even professionals. War vets like one of my friends wouldn't still have flashbacks. People like me SA victims wouldn't have flashbacks even when we're getting professional help. And we will possibly always have our defense mechanisms, always fall back into old habits and have our bad days and it takes forever to even have good days to even get to the point where we can. And I can't speak for all trauma victims but some people do turn toxic without meaning to, yes I used to in a way be toxic myself. Where I would do anything to get people on my side to make them trust me so no one would hurt me just like astarion does using s*x. Even if I had to change my personality, how I talked, my interests. Just to get close to someone I would do it to protect myself. But it would turn to a point where I was losing myself who I was which hurt me further. and in turn lashing out at others in anger trying to push them away with them not knowing why because I was hurting. My fiance was a victim of that. Hes the one who helped me help myself. I long since have made up with the people I hurt and it is all in the past I was going through abuse from most people at the time which didn't help things.

Disclaimer Astarion different Discourses.

I've seen some people get upsetty sphagetti over collars on Astarion I don't think everyone is using the collars as some sexual thing like people are assuming. I for one, I see Collars as a fashion piece not a kink and the game doesn't exactly have chokers this is the closest I can get. Even in real life I do not see them as sexual. Maybe because im asexual, I don't know. For me its fashion. As for the collar that shocks Astarion- I personally have mixed feelings on that. I only did it once out of curiosity because friends told me to and were laughing over it. Never did it again because it just felt wrong for me personally. But I'm not about to shame and judge others over what they do in a video game. Likewise with "skimpy outfits" I'll put them on my own characters but when it comes to Astarion the most I let him show off is his torso. Anything else feels so wrong to me but im not going to shame others because again at the end of the day it is a video game.

(personally I prefer in most (not all) playthroughs to steal Astarion's clothing and wear it myself in camp while giving him something rich and fancy to wear that way I can wear my "boyfriend's" shirt.)

I am not Pro Spawn or Pro Ascended. Though I do personally prefer Ascended because I tell him I want him happy > He says power will make him happy I tell him I want him safe > he reiterates power will make him safe I read his mind > He thinks power will make him safe and free He asks for my help > I hesitate in helping him ascend > He begs for my help Then I end up ascending him. Because at every turn since act 1 he keeps talking about wanting it. I personally don't feel right making the decision for him and I do try to talk him out of it reminding him of all the lives he'd sacrifice on multiple occasions. He still is persistent UNLESS we win a roll. At that point I just want whatever he wants and if hes telling me thats what he wants thats what he gets.

[the-blank-crossing-os]

TBC loredump 4: Extensive info about the gods/The Beyond

There are 9 gods. They're: Sunflower and Moonflower, the day and night gods (they also control the weather of their respective times); Fieldy, the god of all flora AND the sea, basically every environment on Fiearth; Microorganism, the god of all living creatures and natural selection; Wildfire, the god of fire, strong emotions and natural disasters; Reaper Star, the god of the Passing Hallways; Blanket, the God of Eternal Peace; Magma, the god of Eternal Suffering; Past-Present-Future, the gods of time. There's also two mortal-turned-gods, their names are Opal Drop and Rafflesia. Their existence is heavily debated over, and it's only been proven that Reaper Star is real through the invention of recovery centers, and Wildfire as the only one who can physically appear to mortals. They all reside in the beyond, in tiny realms scattered across an empty void, though the afterlife realms are much bigger than all of the others. Godly marks are their creations, basically like leaving a watermark on your own work except it's become things objects use in their daily lives They don't have a concept of identity so mortals tend to assign them pronouns (they don't care)

We have 3 realms for the afterlife. the Passing Hallways, the Realm of Eternal Peace, and the Realm of Eternal Suffering (new name!). Objects generally just call these realms The Beyond, they've only just learned of the Hallways' existence recently and no alive objects know of the other two realms. The Hallways is a black and white little room with two hallways on both sides. It is where objects go immediately after death, and there resides two objects, the Managers of the Hallways. They're mortal-turned-god-adjacent and their job is to keep track of every object that ends up there, and offer them guidance if needed. Some objects aren't ready to move on, and they need to be ready to pass on safely (i need to figure out why). The managers will take those objects on journeys back into the past, following their memories and basically giving them therapy to absolve any complicated feelings about anything they may have done. They can actually physically travel to the past, but they can't travel into the future Once the object is ready, they'll be allowed to ascend a bunch of stairs connecting the Hallways to the Realm of Eternal Peace. If they do so, they can't be recovered in the living world ever again and they will remain there for the rest of their... well, death

The Realm of Eternal Peace is a blank, not quite flat realm, and there resides its god, Blanky. There are a lot of objects there, but the realm is quite too big to feel cramped. There's really nothing to do here, its eternal peace after all! Most you could do is sleep, rest, talk to others, watch your still living loved ones go about their day, and nothing else. It's very empty. It's very boring. The god will cuddle with the dead objects though and try to entertain them to the best of their ability The Realm of Eternal Suffering is reserved for the worst scum of the fiearth that sees no chance of redemption, accessed through a trapdoor in the Hallways that opens directly under an object's feet when one of the managers judge them by what kind of person they were in life. This realm is also not very flat, and resembles an active volcano with lava flowing everywhere. The god there, Magma, keeps watch over the objects and make sure they don't do anything too drastic, whether to eachother or themselves Objects that go here will also be locked from recovery. Time passes a lot faster in the living world compared to the Beyond, so recovery must be done quickly, else the dead object may move on. Its very unpredictable how fast an object would move on, as it depends entirely on their decision. (Many may move on immediately.)

Reaper Star is no longer present in the Passing Hallways. They left a very, very long time ago, because they couldn't handle helping the mortals anymore. No one knows where they are now, but they're still out there in the Beyond.. Now the Hallways are watched over by two mortal-turned gods: Opal Drop and Rafflesia.

[saltwukong]

Your Volume 9 Finale Recap

"Oh, not only was it not funny, but you wasted my time." -- Queen Willow Pill

Ultimately, the volume ends exactly the way most of us anticipated: Ruby just decides to be okay, to be enough, or whatever it is she needs to be, with nothing said as to the people being eaten by Grimm in Vacuo as per the norm.

Jaune gets the Cat out of Neo's body by burning parts of the tree so they inhale Vision Quest smoke and Neo can take over again. The fact that the tree is on fire kind of gets dropped after this.

Ruby gets to keep her memories after ascension because fuck you, we don't care.

The end of the episode tries very hard to connect the volume with the actual world of RWBY we've had established up to Volume 8 but that just means trying to give the Brother Gods a backstory. Basically the Ever After is their original home, and they outgrew it and ran off to make other worlds on their own.

The cat gets a very ugly end by being eaten by Jabberwalker clones. Neo doesn't die die but gets to "ascend" die, so either way, we're still reserving the redemption-esque aspects for women and chunking anything that doesn't have appealing titties in the garbage.

Funnily enough, the cat actually does get some screentime in that infodump about the Brother Gods, in which it's basically said that they created the Cat and then dumped their responsiibilities of fixing shit in the Ever After onto it, but forgot to program ascension nonsense into him (or something of the sort) and so the Cat had no means of dying ascending healing changing becoming something not evil after it got its heart broken by Alyx's betrayal. So basically, the Cat and Neo were both stuck with broken hearts and no therapy and both turned evil, but the chick got a second chance and the cat got to be gorily eaten by monsters.

There's a very moralizing air about it all, as usual, with much ado and nonsense being made about the power of self-direction and balance and harmony and god, just kill me. You can go read Kerry's nonsense on Twitter for yourself if you want to.

Following this, Little comes back but is now named Somewhat, because "I'm not one thing, I'm somewhat of a lotta things" and I fucking died of blunt force trauma from the force I was hit with that overarching theme with.

Alyx's knife turns Jaune young again (but with white anime protagonist hair streaks) because We Quite Literally Don't Care To Explain This So Fuck You.

The blacksmith dumps RWBYJ out in some desert with the very strong implication that there was also time travel involved, pretty much casting off any remaining expectations that they might try to address the shitstorm that happened at the end of Volume 8. Why do that when you can just write it out of the story?

[blueboltkatana]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

GUrll ur so sexy... Like you're Hot. I don't care if you were bullied in school, you're sexy, they lied.

Also bitch I KNEW i related to you too much our ascendants are both in leo we're so hot.

Ok ok no now I'll stop complimenting and start with the roasting here we go:

So the sun is your sense of "self" it represents you on the more base level i guess you could say, like what most people think you're like is represented by your sun. With Sagittarius being your sun it means you're very energetic Especially for those things you are passionate about, you might have gone through a LOT of hobbies, only a few of them stuck around but you like to try things. You're curious about the way people's minds works, you wanna figure them out. If the conversations you have don't involve some form of psychoanalysis or philosophy you might loose interest. You are a Talker, maybe you talk very fast or you are often told to lower your voice but you don't do it on purpose you're just very very animated. You are kina volatile, in the sense that you value freedom in everything, love, work, hobbies. You have a huge rebellious streak and you kinda like testing your luck. Think adrenaline junkie. It's cliché but with this much Sagittarius in your chart you prob love traveling, like i said you will chase freedom because you associate it with happiness. If you find people that make you feel free then you feel happy. Rules don't go well with you. You don't really like being involved with fights per se but you LOVE debating, if you can beat a motherfucker with nothing but facts and logic you will and you will enjoy it.

Your way of flirting or making friends is "lowkey bullying" or my favourite "verbally throwing hands". If they shoot back you get heart eyes (my mars in sag agrees). You can be tactless as fuck tho. Like you will say some outrageous shit that MIGHT be funny if the timing is right or MIGHT make everyone in a 5 mile radius mad.

I NEED to talk about your moon in sag bc Babe, babe the moon tells us about our emotions and how we deal with them, how we express them and how they shape us. But BABE. Sagittarius moons are so bad at comforting people it's embarrassing, trying to make them think of smth else or do smth else to distract from the situation is NOT a good way to deal with your emotions... Avoiding your emotions like the plague is not gonna invent a vaccine... Saying "everything is fine :)" DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING FINE PLEASE GO TO THERAPY. ok to give you some credit, you don't let shit bring you down, no matter what you always get up and that is a *strength* that i admire, but love you're burning the candle at both ends, especially if you get yourself in More problems by trying to distract yourself from One problem.

Also you've had a horsegirl phase or a dog obsession phase or both huh. AND your love language is sarcasm but the type that you will make someone laugh when you're insulting them. You're also hilarious irl you're prob the "funny friend" but with that scorpio mars and venus baby inside ur sad and dark as fuck ripp.

I also wanted to talk about your mercury in sag... Babe... Do you know what a brain to mouth filter IS?! do you recognize that word?!?! Cuz you have never used yours i think. Like you are hilarious but that's because you have dolphins in the head cavity baby. Not trying to say you're stupid, you're actually very smart and opinionated, probably have been told that you'd be a great lawyer or smth. But miss gurl please think before you speak for the love of god ur gonna make someone cry. Also ur mouth is foul. Have you ever spoken a sentence without a "fuck" or a "cunt" somewhere in there?! God bless.

Now for your scorpio Venus I'm just gonna say, more confirmation that ur Sexy as Fuck, scorpio venuses are just sexy, amazing partners, VERY passionate, whoever dates you will never forget you, for better or for worse you'll forever be on the back of their mind. You had a harsh emo phase huh, maybe loved some obscure shit like witchcraft or just love dressing all black like someone's mother died, i bet you wear silver jewelry a lot, maybe necklaces or rings or chockers. If this isn't how you dress now it was prob a major phase in your life. Or maybe you just love horror movies idk

Being as passionate as you are you don't take well to being mistreated or lied to, you might like to plot revenge and things like those, you wouldn't do anything... You actually prefer letting things go but you WILL make an elaborate scenario in your head at 3am or even as you stare right in the persons face.

With mars in scorpio you might be kinda passive aggressive, maybe you act like things don't really bother you but you throw a comment or two once in a while just to stir the pot bc you can't move on lmfao.

You are attracted to people that are introverts or generally just mysterious, like i said above the nature of the Sagittarius is to Learn and to Study. People that you can't immediately figure out intrigue you. All your crushes are either on geminis or water signs lmfao.

The best careers for you are the ones that allow you some freedom of either movement or expression and something that can keep your mind from flying away, something that keeps you intrigued, like research or writing. You're a very "all or nothing" person and it can sometimes scare people away, i advise you to work on compromising, being less stubborn and more open with your emotions and desires.

(part one bc I'm taking too long and I don't wanna keep you waiting so much) I'll reblog this with part 2

Alright here we go part 2 of Roasting hella until she finds out I'm hiding in her walls.

I will skip over some planets that are Very slow moving and usually don't talk about you as an individual but refer to your generation as a whole.

I wanna focus on lilith for a sec bc worstie lilith talks about our fears, our more "darker" side that we hide from ourselves as well as the people that we love. Lilith in aries in the eleventh house tells me you might be afraid to take charge, you gravitate towards positions of leadership but you let go on the last second, almost afraid to have too much control, very often self sabotaging your own success. Your anger and you own ambition might scare you, you might be afraid of appearing too aggressive bc under your skin you have a deep rooted anger and rebellion that you wish to relieve but you can't find a good enough outlet, some things soothe it but you always feel like it never leaves. It might be related to some form of resentment that you never truly dealt with and now it sits uncomfortably with you and you just can't get over it and it bothers you. You might have been shy in groups as a child, maybe you talked a lot but it was always from a fear of the silence not always because you had something to say. The eleventh house is that of groups and friends and social awareness, technology and your hopes and wishes for the future, having lilith in this house talks about someone who had a hard time feeling comfortable around people OR someone who wasn't very accepted. You might have desperately wished for friends but have found it hard to find any. Or if you did, you deep down felt very alone. I would advise to learn to accept your anger and deal with it in healthy ways instead of brushing it off and repressing it.

The north node talks about what you need to focus more in your life for example in your case with Gemini in your North node you need to focus more on your communication letting go of anxiety and your relation with other people you need to become more interested in intellectual pursuit and growth. You need to let go off the need to always be right and look more at details instead of focusing on on the bigger picture all of the time. When your North node is is in Gemini then your South node is in Sagittarius which tells me that what you should focus less on is your pursuit of freedom and your rebellion. Be more aware of your words and use them with maturity.

Now let's have some fun with the ascendent in leo which we share and now i see why ur so relatable. The first house or the ascendant is that very superficial layer of our personality, it includes the way we carry ourselves, our style, the little habits or quirks we have. One thing about leo ascendants is that we have an obsession with our hair. Hair is important to us, some have huge hair that might remind you of a lions mane, others just have very unique style or color but we ALL are lowkey or highkey obsessed with it, either constantly touching it, pulling it, chewing on it, cutting it or dying it in unique ways you name it. You might have a rather large nose or cat like eyes.

This ascendent is full of life and light, very funny, light hearted and luxurious, you want to live that good life and i don't blame you. A negative aspect is that we come of as intimidating to others. ALL of my friends AND my ex have at some point told me I was intimidating to them. It makes us prone to overcompensating for it later in life so maybe now you're super outgoing and extroverted and you approach people first and try to be super friendly. Also you're an attention whore (affectionate) with a flare for the dramatics, very flamboyant, you basically fill the room with personality, it attracts attention and you love it. You're what people would call a "sunny" person.

You're hella competitive (get it lol) and you LOVE fighting your way to the top and crushing the competition. You're probably a weirdo that low key likes school. Not the way it's run or the teachers or whatever, but the "idea" of school. If you could just learn all your life you absolutely would.

Second house in virgo. The 2nd house is the house of money, work, income, daily routines, values, material possessions, habits, work ethic ect being in virgo it means you can have an extremely good work ethic, you put a lot of thought in planning and mapping your work, you might get overly critical on your work though and often undermine your own success and efforts because they didn't fit your impossible standards. You can be very organized in your work, you want things to be a certain way and if they don't follow your plan you will Make them. Its a good position for virgo but yoh need to be aware of not overworking by trying to do Everything on your own. Let others help you, and let people in your work do their own things don't try to help if not asked to because you will overwork yourself.

The third house is that of the mind, thinking, communication, siblings, interests and early education, in your case it is in Libra which means that you're early education might not have been very stable or it was a period of time that you look back with a lot of fondness but not much substance. You are a good talker but you get lost when it comes to details, you are indecisive when it comes to settling on an opinion on something if you don't have All the facts first, you always want to be right. You are pretty open minded and easy to talk to but you might have the bad habit of rambling off topic. You change interests constantly and you prob like to talk about others, you wanna know the tea if it kills you. You prob had a crush on a childhood best friend or on a hot neighbor. Your relationship with your siblings might be pretty good, friendly, no particular resentment or anything like that, you might be the one that everyone treats a little better, people let you get away with things more often, you might be the one that takes 2 hours in the bathroom lol.

Oof fourth house in scorpio babe how are the mommy issues? 😬 How is your relationship with your femininity? Having trouble with keeping secrets? So the fourth house is the one responsible for your home roots, your family, self-care, emotions, your mother, women and your femininity and having Scorpio here tells me that you might have very strong ties to your family, but they weren't healthy or emotionally supportive. You have grown with people that might have undermined your emotions, people that didn't teach you to set healthy boundaries and maybe even manipulators and gaslighters. You might have been the type to put your foot down a lot a home, assuming a very dominant role as well as the defender. You're very private about your family life and don't want to let people too close.

Ah i just noticed u have like 3 planets in this house including ur Sun and Moon, babe this house is what you need to focus on when you go to therapy. This almost secretive, guarded approach to understanding your own emotions is very prominent in how you see yourself, how you feel and with Pluto there, how you change. I could say the biggest changes in your life have happened in these areas and they have left the biggest impacts on you. Yes you are passionate and protective but don't let bad feelings marinate forever, address them and then move on from them because they're just weighting you down.

Fifth house in sag, also the house of your mercury. This house represents Love, romance, creativity, self expression, joy and childlike spirit. It tells me the way you express your creativity is through words which makes sense since you're a great writer, but not only, the way you express Love is also through your words, expression and free thoughts are your way you tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, think poetry, long rants, music recommendations bc of specific song lyrics, you have been writing form childhood and it's one of the ways you express your view on beauty as well, to you love is freedom and freedom is expression.

Capricorn in the sixth house paired with both uranus and neptune being in it tells me there is something about your knees, joints, bones or teeth in particular that stands out when it comes to your health, maybe you tend to break your teeth, maybe you like chewing on crunchy foods, maybe your joints crack a lot, idk but I'd drink my milk if i was you, take care of your joints and bones. Also for you, being emotionally unwell often translates to being Physically unwell as well, so be mindful of your emotions because they do affect you physically. You need to keep hydrated also and your health plan needs structure for it to work bc that neptune makes everything very chaotic and uranus constantly makes you bored and wanting to spice things up. Take care of your emotional needs just as much as you would with your physical ones. And for the love of jesus be CAREFUL with alcohol or smoking because that neptune in ur health house could mean serious trouble if you let it become an addiction, don't push it.

Aquarius in the seventh house of relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners ect means you are untraditionally traditional. That makes sense in my head let me explain. Aquarius is a sign that seeks individualism desperately, it likes to feel like a special person, impossible to understand. Yet always feels comfortable in the structure of traditional and safe paths. So for example you might marry someone in a way that is not traditional but at the end of the day you wish for your marriage to have a stability you would feel safe falling into. Also it says ur gay. Air signs in the relationship house says ur gay i Make the rules.

Pisces is in the eighth house of sex, intimacy, shared finances, inheritance, taxes, loans, property, mystery, partner's resources. This tells me you fuck with feeling lmfao. Or you simply make your love life something "special", a connection that only you and ur person can share, it's what makes you an amazing lover and an unforgettable one as well. But as amazing as you are at creating a otherworldly atmosphere, ur just as shit at setting boundaries and saying something when you don't like something. You don't like to see things that you love ending and a failed relationship makes you blame yourself too much, you have the tendency to stay in situations where you are being mistreated but you tell yourself It's on you.

A recurring theme I'm seeing is some weakness when it comes to liars or manipulators in your life. So either you irrationally fear people are lying to you because you "lie" to them about yourself or a lot of people in your childhood might have used lying or gaslighting as a way to keep you under control. I would advise to try not to overthink and become paranoid, people love you and they believe in you and they aren't deceiving you, they don't secretly mean something different from what they have said. Listen to your intuition about people sure, but don't confuse it with anxiety.

With lilith and aries in the 9th house of travel and higher education and religion I'm gonna assume you might have religious trauma. Religion might have been a way that people used to try and control you, if not religion then some form of system or government law. Being queer i completely understand the sentiment but in your case it's take a step further because you Value the ideals of this house so much, with lilith here, it's like at som point in your life you were finally awakened to how much injustice there was in the world ant that has made you very inclined to take action, you cannot stand unjust government or non tolerating religions. You might have felt crushed under an unjust system and it took you a lot of will and conviction to find your individuality and build yourself how you wanted once you were free.

Your midheaven in taurus tells me you are one that will achieve any goals you set your mind to. It might take you time, you might procrastinate around it, but at the end of the day, you will do it and you will do it well and it will be rewarding. If your father isn't a Taurus then he was a stable figure in your life, very much a rock for better or for worse. In your career life people will see you as very competent, very down to earth and helpful but you know you just procrastinated till the last second possible and stayed up all night do finish your work... You will seek careers that you believe will guarantee you stable income and a comfortable life. You might indulge in luxury from time to time because you think in order to get the position you want at work you need to look the part. Ultimately it's your sheer stubbornness and spite that gets you all the way up to the top of the food chain.

The eleventh house of groups, friendships, humanitarianism, and social awareness is in your case in gemini. It tells me you value friendship extremely and you surround yourself with a diverse cast of friends, you couldn't mix your different friend groups if you tried and you have tried. You have the habit of being too friendly to everyone which makes you end up with more friends than you know what to do with. You are approachable but people can get the impression that you are putting up a show or a facade and your emotions arent genuine, it's not always the case but you need to be more truthful and assertive, put some boundaries and don't let people get away with shit you don't like. Your public persona is very well liked, seen as fun and bright and smart and overall a joy to be around.

Now that last placement... 12th house cancer, i have the same placement and babe I'm sorry for all the shit you have been through. You deserve the freedom to be unhappy and to express that unhappiness in healthy ways. You deserve to be given unconditional love and support no matter how many mistakes you say you have made no matter how overly pessimistic you are about yourself it doesn't matter you're amazing and i love you and you deserve the world.

With jupiter the planet of expansion in the 12th house of endings, spirituality, solitude and karma?! Gurl i did say u were a cult leader but i didn't think it was astrologically backed up rippp. But it also says you might have a hard time getting the motivation to finish things, you might take a long time to finish a project. This house placements also tells me you're amazing at writing emotional ass fantasy stories which by now we have confirmed, but if you have like, an original idea for a book don't hesitate to get it started babe bc u have a very promising placement for that. Don't get too dragged into a sad whirlpool of emotions and daydreams but bring your creative ideas to life and you'll be fine.

This is all I'm doing today and i think it's enough lol. I'm posting this I'm sorry to my followers for the long ass post I'll tag it so you can filter it. This was a whole psycho-astrological analysis of our favourite writer Hellspawn1975. I have wanted to study her like a new lizard species for a while and i finally got the chance thank you hella for the opportunity.

Final words to @hella1975 i hate you and I'll fuck ur mom tomorrow, gn babe <3

[soulorigin1]

WHAT IS A LIGHTWORKER?

These people are souls who carry on important inner desire to unfold the light (knowledge, freedom, love, and self love) in the world.

They perceive this as their mission. They are often attracted to spirituality and therapeutic work in one form or another.

Because they feel deeply about it, lightworkers often feel different from other people. By making them encounter different kinds of obstacles on their way, life encourages them to find their personal and unique path.

Light workers are often solitary individuals who do not fit into the fixed societal structures.

A lightworker is someone who:

• Really wants to help or heal others whether individually or on a larger scale.

• Wish to live in a completely different way that is more in tune with ourselves and all that surrounds us that does not give rise to social and environmental problems.

• Is oriented towards spiritual or direct subtle healing or therapeutic methods to heal others.

• Is more sensitive or has the ability to explore and/or interact or communicate with: Subtle energies, other realities, dimensions, spiritual realms, different energy levels, spiritual guides, and so on.

• Has experienced spiritual or psychic or mystical experiences or awakenings that made him/her aware that there is "more" than most people appreciate about reality and/or what is possible.

5 SIGNS THAT INDICATE YOU MAY BE A LIGHTWORKER WITHOUT KNOWING IT.

1. A SENSE OF BEING AN OUTSIDER- Light workers often have a sense that there different. That although they're a human being they really don't belong here on Earth.

This can manifest as a feeling of otherness isolation, or even homesickness.

Light workers may often feel that they are on the outside looking in many lightworkers have a deep underlying feeling of "wanting to go home".

2. HIGH SENSITIVITY- Light workers are driven to understand the world better by seeking out extreme experiences. With this experience comes great empathy, which causes them to feel what others feel very deeply.

Along with this light workers have a strong sensitivity to the energies around them. They are especially sensitive to negativity and it wears on them. It may be difficult for them to deal with people who are angry or aggressive.

As a result of this drain on their energy, lightworkers have a need for frequent time alone so they can decompress and re-cover.

3. A REBELLIOUS NATURE - Lightworkers do not fit in to traditional authority models or modern workplace structures, and they do not feel comfortable in them, either. This is largely due to their anti-authoritarian nature.

while lightworkers may seem timid or shy don't underestimate them - internally, they have a strong resistance to anything that places value on power or hierarchy, and this prompts are rebellious streak.

4. A TENDENCY TOWARDS EXPRESSION, DEVELOPMENT, AND SPIRITUALITY - Lightworkers are often driven to expression and development, both for themselves, and others. They are likely to find an outlet writing or in the arts to express themselves, and also to serve as a voice for humanity at large. It's also common for lightworkers to be drawn to activities that nurture their spirituality. This can be anything from meditation to spending time in nature to self-help books.

5. A DRIVE TO HELP OTHERS - this trait is rooted in lightworkers high sensitivity and empathetic nature, and they are often found in career paths that enable them to do so, such as teaching, therapy, or nursing.

When lightworkers are enlightened and self-actualized, they recognise this drive as their true purpose in life, and find their own fulfillments in guiding others to enlightenment.

So......are you a Lightworker?

There is a high frequency of these old souls throughout the world, so you very well could be a lightworker yourself. And if you don't feel you yourself are a lightworker, you've definitely had moments of living like one by simply helping another, choosing to do what you felt was right in the moment, or getting involved in a social or planetary cause. There could be other signs, too........Like constantly seeing number sequences, finding feathers on your path or having the ability to see auras. All of these can be signs you are a lightworker waiting to awaken to your inner truth.

Lightworkers are real people, although they have a deep soul history of serving others, they're not some how superior or greater than other people.

Lightworkers are indeed unique in their purpose and gifts. But don't mistake uniqueness for superiority - we all posses uniqueness and gifts of our own, and in the end there are many paths through life......All offering unique learning, growth and service opportunities, but none are "better" than others because ultimately we're all one

FOCUS ON:

• Meditation

• Expansion

• Opening your heart tuning into your heart light and letting it expand around you.

• Raising your vibration

• Letting your consciousness expand and elevate so that you link with your higher self, Guides, Angels and Ascended Masters who can give you further guidance on your path.

In addition, service is so important for all lightworkers. It's why you're here, not to get caught up in the illusion, materialism and, the 3D world! Serve, love and shine!

Through this, make a difference and help all of humanity to transition out of lower densities into higher levels of light.

HOW CAN YOU SERVE?

There are so many ways that your work as a lightworker can manifest. It's important to let your main focus be to shine your unique flavour of light. Don't try to be like someone else, don't try to mimic. Enter inward, quite your mind, open your heart, and tune into the light flowing along your spine.

Let this light expand all around you. Tune into your aura and let it fill with light, tune into your light body and expand even further. Elevate your vibration, expand your consciousness, link with the guidance that is available to you, and then take action in alignment with your inspiration.

Try to align with the answers to the question "How may I serve?". When you're just starting out, this may be as simple as smiling as sending silent blessings to people when you pass them on the street. And then as you progress in your connection with your higher self and guides, it can evolve into doing specific light work. Perhaps like missions to help with the ascension of humanity and Earth and to help usher in this wave of positivity, love, joy and co-creation. Understand that the earth has been plagued by negativity density and darkness. Lightworkers are here to swing the pendulum far the other way. They are here to embody light, peace and truth. To awaken and share this high vibrational energy, and expanded sense of consciousness, and light with the world.

If you're just embarking down this path and waking up as a Lightworker, and your just learning to connect with your Guides Angels and your higher self, know that being a lightworker can be as simple as shining a light.

Sometimes sharing positivity, being kind and compassionate helping, serving, and loving others is the perfect service. This is light work! Being a decent human being with a specific intention to serve humanity, to uplift the world and in body your authenticity is enough.

[codyh412]

My pen pal Taylor and I understand the pain humanity has gone through with drugs. There's a reason why they are illegal, and it's to prevent people from finding God or Love. I was first homeless at 19, where I stayed at a shelter for 2 years studying the Bible. I ended up avoiding prison by staying off heroin at this Church but got 9 months of jail with 3 years of probation. In 2015 I got off but violated twice so I ended up doing 8 months of county on top of the 9 I already did. The rest of the time was pretty much in rehab cause I kept using heroin. I've ODed, sold to people who died, one guy fell asleep with a ciggarette and burnt his mom's house down, I got my first class 2 felony for Narcotic sales when I was 17. Today I'm on probation for Arson of an Occupied Structure class 2 dangerous felony. Went to prison for a year cause of paraphernalia #323959 is my number. But despite all of this, I still use drugs and finally managed to get a higher Dimensional spirit give me the 7fold Spirit of Karma and Luck. Now look at the life I live? I'm a Mystic who teaches women how to get a spirit guide and become a medium with the help of meth and heroin. Your tolerance to the drugs will not increase from this, that first hit stays the first hit and lasts an extremely long time. It's because your brain gets rewired as we get high and I teach you the secrets while showing you love and empathy. It's amazing how a lot of women notice they use less and less as the knowledge gets them just as high with one hit. Don't believe me? That's fine we will let the foolish be themselves but some people are really struggling and need this so don't put me down because I don't get anything out of this, in fact I even pay for the drugs. Well actually I do get happiness when I see these women succeed. They are all extremely beautiful and also way more wise than you think. Also they are psychic mediums so if you lust after these women you will never get one to marry you let alone sleep with you lololol. It's so fucked up I know guys, I get plenty of Karma from my own Spirit guide for looking at busty women. How could you not though??? Someone else will figure it out and teach us, I'm only here to turn addiction into Cosmic Connection whether it's chemical, perfection, gambling, self harm, hurting others behind a computer screen, Selfishness, sex, technology, and whatever else we distract ourselves constantly with instead of using it for Spirituality and Wisdom.

The South Atlantic Anomoly is gonna cause the poles to reverse soon. The north and south pole will end up on the Equator while the Earth floods. And of course all the animals migrate to the new North Pole (like Noah's time) and Vladmir Putin claimed this block of ice that will be over the land as well, do your research people. There's a reason why Angels have come to Earth, I'm actually a Demon and an Angel, I communicate with both. Psychic abilities are gray magic through the 5th element Ether.

I'm a really caring and compassionate person for you all, so it's sad that I've been so disrespected and put down for being different and saying things that others can't comprehend. No I'm not in a psychosis or have schizophernia, and I proved this to my probation officer as well as my family and friends from rehab. Multiple SMI evaluations and x-rays plus MRI's I think it was? They scanned my brain while playing high pitched sounds to notice how my brain processed a sound I shouldn't be able to hear. I proved telepathy to be real to one of the counselors giving me my SMI evaluation. She didn't believe I actually heard a spirit give me the answer but oh well. Anyways I still couldn't get diagnosed with anything, no ADD, Bi polar, PTSD, Psychosis, and the thing is that they can't find what's wrong with my head. Maybe they never will cause there is nothing wrong.

Right now I'm all alone trying my hardest to teach my friends in jail or prison but it's hard for me because I'm all alone. Taylor doesn't get out till September, and the other females have years :/

This is just a blog for the end of war on drugs here in Arizona. And the blessing of the addicts into Demi God's like myself because Man who can rid himself of negative human emotions and thoughts will let in a Spiritual Energy that will rebuild the brain to Ascend Man. The person has become one with the Divine Spirit as that Spirit becomes one with the Flesh.

A Mystic or Magician is born. Mystics do miracles while magicians do magic. The Bible says do not practice dark arts so good thing my art is Gray and Light magic lol.

We had to live in all this darkness for so long, doing this means we can learn from the pain we went through.

Ecc. 2 something I don't remember but it says something like Having more sorrow leads to more knowledge, Pain equals Wisdom.

When Taylor and I write our own book for addicts of all kind to take home after our Mystic Drug Therapy sessions we will make sure to have the proper facts.

unless we strongly advise that our edit to it is actually the correct writing.

Until then I'm looking for women here in Payson AZ that want to give it a chance. It's just my mother and I up here and she just got out of prison so she had no where to stay but with me. Anyone who realizes how much they can help me will get so much Luck and appreciation from the sevenfold Spirit. I can't do this alone, I've only been able to make my own life one that flourishes now.

The red box is my heroin nectar collector, I stashed my meth in there. I smoked the dope off foil to show the different qualities I was getting. When you're a good person and always pay your debts your dealer will front you quads when you're struggling. And getting out of prison makes you broke as shit so I had to do that. Shitty thing is all the dirtbags keep you from the good people so the money doesn't go far. So fuck it, if you're a hot chick and need to get high then it will cost you. Nothing material, it will cost your old way of life and the belief that you are better than what society tells you. Once again though you ladies realize how hard it is to prove I'm legit all by myself? My family and especially my probation officer don't want me teaching this shit LOL.

Even if we video chat and smoke together that's better than nothing right? Gotta start somewhere and I bet my clouds for God will be bigger and more dense!!

No one said this would be easy but it is the apocalypse and I'm the Demi God of War (on drugs). We can't rid the world of drugs but we can rid our minds of ego, selfishness, sexual unsatisfaction, and lots of other negative ways of thinking. So that addiction does not exist in the mind but Divine connection instead.

I'm not perfect either btw, far from it. I love learning cool hobbies and organization skills from my female friends. Oh and of course the sex is awesome for us lol.

My name? Dakota Sparrow Humphreys

Spirits names Ether, Yougan, Jesza, Rainie, Maysee, Michael, Trayuls.

They are karma and luck spirits and wish you all good luck when shit hits the fan. Allowing them to help you will get us all closer to Heaven.

Even a simple comment made on here or in your head can be acknowledged. Don't believe in God or my Spirits but believe in my cause? I will be your Higher Power of Consciousness and mine will be our Highest Power of Consciousness. One that is infinite as the Universe expands and Almighty. You will have to seriously question me and understand so that you don't worship a false idol or false prophet or a magician.

Can't handle your shit? Well neither can I and I'm doing just fine

so it's time you figured it out, you don't wanna learn this shit in a dark realm of existence do you? It takes for fucking ever without our help, thousands of years in hell to get into Heaven and can't use anything materialistic? Or drugs, making love, art, music and instruments, gel pens and HBO go for less than a year for the same results and access to Heaven. Also you get to survive through the apocalypse while we all are given drugs and have a good end times.

Don't believe me? Hahah can you prove or disprove me? I've already proved myself to the people I care for, because they gave me the chance to care for them. You get it?

[nyxocity]

#why don't you both try ASCENDING to some THERAPY

You can't just leave this in the tags OP

girl help my friends keep trying to do things that will definitely make them insane

[angelicgaming1007]

Still getting anon asks. Let me put it this way ASTARION MAKES ME FEEL SAFE Ascended Astarion makes me feel PROTECTED. Thats why I ascend him because in my view because of my trauma, POWER is safe, Power is protection because POWER is what made everyone get away with everything. Either power by social media numbers, Power because of their charm or influence. So why can't it be used to protect. I as an ABUSE victim and SA survivor. I am sick of that some people act like all of us Abuse victims are pet projects to "fix" I am sick of being portrayed like that in media. I find it SICK because it feels like we're being treated either with pity or as a joke or entertainment and neither feel good. why cant we turn to power? why cant we crave it? because its morally wrong? Who says? Power isn't inherently wrong unless you misuse and abuse it. so the people who want to entirely villainize Astarion in Ascended and keep pushing him to be full on crazy abusive to the point it'd trigger traumas because they "Want a fully evil Astarion just to stick it to ascended fans". The people who push for Spawn to be the only happy ending because they want their little "UwU baby" to fix. The people who then go and turn around and tell the rest of us we aren't traumatized enough for choosing to ascend him. go f*ck yourselves. You are not an ally to abuse victims when you talk over them, and try to shame them for something they enjoy and try to push for it to be RUINED because you don't personally enjoy it. I understand his need for power. I ask him numerous times in game if its what he wants and keep stressing all I want is him safe and happy. hes given me no reason NOT to ascend him. (I have gone spawn ending a few times just for variety) Its Cathartic because I felt POWERLESS, HELPLESS through all I went through. I still feel that way now when I flinch at cars simply PASSING MY HOME, or the loud fighting from neighbours or when my family get even remotely annoyed or p*ssed at anything. I sends me into panic attacks and no amount of therapy is fixing that. I have to live with that sh*t I know how it feels to feel trapped and weak. So yes I'm going to give him the power IVE NEVER HAD. I understand Astarion in both paths, I understand both view points, I understand the analysis of him as a character But I choose to ascend him because I personally dont LIKE the idea of the spawn ending. Of him cowering in the sun again, recovering from his abuse with only you by his side or with no one all alone. Yes the epilogue shows hes happy. But it shows him happy in BOTH endings I am not a bad person for ascending him And I won't be made to feel lesser for it.

And on another note: you don't need to be traumatized to enjoy EITHER path for him as a character. So can we stop f*cking policing how others play? thanks.

So I have gotten some anon asks TW: Abuse

I am NOT Pro Ascended I am NOT Pro Spawn I am NOT Anti Ascended I am NOT Anti Spawn I'm PRO play however tf you want and live laugh love cry I'm PRO Astarion period. I'm ANTI BULLYING AND HARASSMENT I'm ANTI thought policing I'm PRO freedom of speech I'm PRO Creativity and imagination I'm ANTI Abuse To the people trying to go for my neck and going on about how Im toxic for supporting people who like playing ascended and for my Catharsis with Ascended claiming I didn't experience real trauma GFYS I have had an abusive father (Sexually and physically) and had to deal with attempted kidnappings and stalking and abuse until I was 14 from BIRTH. THE ONLY thing protecting me was one woman who was my therapist assigned by social services while I went through the courts for more than half my life. Everyone else was ready to give me to him and take me from my mother. Abusive teachers (A few good ones but most substitutes would literally lock me in a closet with the as they called it "special teacher for special kids" for my tourettes and undiagnosed at the time autism for being a distraction) I have had numerous abusive friends all of which who tried to force me into sexual situations online so THEY could earn money off of me. I have had numerous abusive friends Who dismissed and used my trauma as a weapon against me to control me PURPOSEFULLY triggering me. While trying to break down my self esteem, make me feel worthless. Force me into situations where I was uncomfortable. STALKED ME, TRIED TO FIND MY HOME TO TRACK ME DOWN. But it was still ALL online so I couldn't do sh*t against them except block them because my town doesn't take cyber harassment, cyber stalking and cyber bullying seriously. Those same friends ruined my reputation, CATFISHED PEOPLE USING MY FACE. Made fake facebook accounts and other social media accounts (Which I can't use facebook because of them because they force face verification and my face is pretty much blacklisted because of what they did with it) Put my face on AI made P*rn videos which I had to get taken down. Those same friends, Took my words out of context when I was 14 and put me on blast on their large social media platforms when I was an account a child with less than 100 followers and these friends were in the thousands. THIS GOT ME BULLIED AND TOLD TO "KYS" UNTIL I WAS 21. And it didn't stop even when I was a minor and INFORMED them I was. THESE WERE GROWN ADULTS trying to encourage and get me to take my own life because of these "friends" of mine. I had had many male "friends" all of them except ONE tried to get in my pants even when I was a minor and they were adults. OR used me as an outlet for their relationship problems which always consisted of "ugh I'm in my 30s its too late for love for me I need a girlfriend so bad" every time, and used me as a trauma dump and abused me dismissing my own issues when I went to them for help when the harassment was getting bad. OR they tried to hook me up with their friends. AND MOST of this (not all of it) happened when I was a minor and they were adults. But it also happened STILL up until 2 almost 3 years ago now. IM STILL RECOVERING FROM ABUSE.

YOU DONT GET TO TELL ME WHAT ABUSE IS. YOU DONT GET TO TELL ME I HAVENT EXPERIENCED REAL TRAUMA. YOU DONT GET TO TELL ME HOW I DEAL WITH MY TRAUMA. AND THIS is what makes people hate CERTAIN parts of the fandom.