#witchdoctor... I guess?

[wolverinedoctorwho]

Headcanoning the bg3 companions as crewmates in p101

Astarion as a cat/mouse Swashbuckler. Hands down. (In w101 I think he'd be in the Fire school but I could also see him in Myth or Death.)

Gale is a Witchdoctor obviously. (I think in w101 he'd be a Storm or Fire school wizard, maybe the Balance school post-game.) I could see him as a dog, specifically from Marleybone.

Shadowheart as a Privateer because of the healing, and because on a meta level I feel like she tends to be the leader/second-in-command of the group. I see her as a fox because she and Bonnie Anne are both early-game companions and low-key faces of their respective games. (In w101 she'd be in the Death school.)

Lae'zel as a Buccaneer for the focus on strength and heavy armor/weapons. Obv she'd be a frog.

Wyll as a Musketeer? I tend to have him more range focused with his spells. I think he'd be a unicorn for that Diego energy. (Diego is the unicorn duel master from w101.) (In w101 I think he'd be in the Storm school for his personality and combat effectiveness, but he'd use a sword instead of a wand.)

Karlach as a Buccaneer for the focus on raw strength and courage. I could see her as a horse, like Subodai. Or maybe a cow for the horns?

Not sure about class for Halsin (Privateer? Witchdoctor?) but he'd be a bear. You know he would. (In w101 he's Life School 100%.)

Minthara could go Buccaneer for strength/bravery or Swashbuckler for stealth/darkness. I think she could be a rat, or maybe a horse.

I haven't played with the other companions enough to properly guess but I'm open to suggestions!

[make-dragonspyre-great-again]

#22 and #18 on the pirate101 questions??

woah someone actually asked me hello jumpscare... questions list here for reference!

#22. Do you trust Captain Avery?

this man keeps making us run around in circles blind, i trust him about as far as I can throw him - which could be substantially far in all honesty but in otherwise no. i do not trust him. but i will do your little tasks because i am mandated to if i want to progress but you are on THIN ICE buddy

#18. Opinions on Cool Ranch?

gameplay wise the length of the entire world was REALLY annoying especially with all the running around and back and forth we have to do. but i guess that's what i get for playing solo witchdoctor plus with how slow the ships are im so glad they added those stagecoaches lol

despite that, the aesthetics of the world are great, i loved exploring and seeing all the different islands and locations. absolutely loved the totem spirits!! some of the clothing is admittedly absolutely dripped out so i'll give cool ranch that, it was lengthy but at least it kept me stylish during it. can't remember much else about cool ranch because i played through it AGES ago but thats what i think! :D

[piponpinesisak]

obviously i wouldn't expect you to know this but i was wondering if you had any general pointers for what good practices are for doing research on indigenous culture. i am not very knowledgeable about historical or cultural research, i just want to make sure i am as respectful and faithful as possible when depicting real indigenous cultures or creating fictionalised ones inspired by real world societies, and i find information on customs and beliefs to often be incomplete or superficial

Prepare for a long post my friend... my thoughts are everywhere regarding this and I want to be as helpful as I can be. It's also really difficult to answer because... well

The syllabics weren't invented until the 1840s so up until that point there was no written history for indigenous people, it was all told orally. A lot of bigots will use this as a way of saying we made up our history through a long game of a telephone even though some cultures created the Lakota Winter Count as way to keep records of things.

AND if you're an outsider it's going to be much harder to learn about these cultures and things without physically going to their communities and inquiring it from elders and stuff. For example, the author of Vinland Saga had to physically go to Canada to learn about the Mi'kmaq for the latest arc (He probably didn't HAVE TO... but it shows his dedication to history and keeping things accurate regarding the cultures of the peoples he was representing.)

It doesn't help that older generations are understandably much more closed off and reserved due to the mistreatment they received growing up. Residential Schools really fucked up our communities because of generational trauma.

A lot of people tell us to get over it but I still see how it affects familial relationships today even in mine (The last residential school closed in 1996). It's because of that, I had difficulty in reconnecting with my culture because everyone would look at me with what felt like contempt or respond to me in a standoff-ish manner.

You may also need to delve into depressing stories from people recounting their mistreatment, there's a good chance they'll bring up the cultural stuff they were prevented from doing growing up

I guess when you look stuff up regarding indigenous legends and stuff, look for the sites that are kind of amateur-looking and looks like it's from the 2000s. Those are usually run by real indigenous people.

When researching try to stick around a particular region, culture or area, it's what I did for my culture and I eventually found some important information.

For example, things like the Wendigo and Skinwalker, just be sure to look into it a bit. The Wendigo is not a skeletal deer demon, it is a person possessed by a spirit during winters. It appears during times of famine and intense frost. The Skinwalker (I'm not too qualified to talk about because it's not my culture) is a shaman/witchdoctor that performs dark rituals and wears the pelts of animals to obtain their abilities. They're not cannibal shapeshifters.

This is going to sound dumb but there are also indigenous creators on TikTok who do explain and clarify a lot of things about their culture so that's one avenue you could venture into. Just be wary of Pretendians.

Also, a lot of history is intertwined with the developments of the US and Canada, they're just left out of it a lot of the time.

I wish I was good at answering questions like this

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #307: METAMORPHOSIS

September, 1989

I don't usually root for Lava Men but nobody seems to want to make Gilgamesh interesting or put him in pants so yeah go ahead and crush him. Let's trade up for a better model.

I do suspect that Gilgamesh is getting the boot. Even though he's in the roster box, his name isn't included with the names above the title. Which I'm guessing are the mainstays despite the run having the premise that all Avengers are Avengers.

Anyway.

Last times on Avengers: Some stuff happened. And then the writer changed. Captain America declared that the Avengers would have a flexible roster of everyone. Also, some Lava Men hoisted Avengers Island and formed a big ball around the Avengers which then rolled into the sea. Namor showed up but got captured too. Then it was revealed that the Avengers had sorta killed the Lava Men's demonic patron and accidentally wiped out like... almost all of the Lava Men? And the Lava Witchdoctor Jinku is the one that summoned a bunch of not-sapient Lava Men and used them to kidnap the Avengers so he could summon a giant lava monster at them about it.

Meanwhile, Avengers Island is still teetering atop a big spire made of cooled Lava Men and those Lava Men are starting to crumble. The island is in danger of falling, wrecking the Avenger's nice, new base that they haven't had a chance to enjoy because they had a stretch of bad writing! Also Jarvis is still on the island! We like Jarvis here!

He uses the radio to issue an emergency priority double-A one, probably the most emergency of priority calls.

The West Coast Avengers West Coast heard the call last time but still haven't arrived. But Reed and Sue were still in New York so were able to respond much sooner.

Sue points out that they didn't bring specialized equipment with them but Reed tells her that she's all the equipment they need.

He always says the most romantic things.

But he tells her to use her invisible force fields to jam an invisible wedge under the island to shore it up.

It's hard though.

I don't know the exact mechanism of how strain on her force fields impacts Sue but she's carrying thousands of tons with only her brain. That's a lot of pressure.

Science brain Reed points out that the triangle is the strongest form in mechanics so she should be able to bear it.

The rock is still crumbling away from the pillar but Reed tells her not to worry about it. Just keep holding up thousands of tons of island.

Meanwhile, down down down below, the Avengers fight Jinku's lava beast.

Sure, he's calling them mean names like infidel and blasphemer, just because they killed his god but on the other hand, they killed his god and that act consequently killed most of his people.

Anger is a reasonable reaction to that.

I don't think I mentioned it last time but this is a very Marvel monster design.

The horns all over his head, the teeth that stick out like gravestones, the chipped nails, the red that looks like pink, the big brow ridge, the blank eyes. If he were introduced in the 60s he'd probably be called Lavva or Moltenn and have a tidy number of appearances over the years.

But he's actually called Avatar of Cha'sa'dra and has such a specific purpose in this book that he doesn't appear beyond this story unless its in a flashback to this story.

Gilgamesh leaps right at the Avatar, despite Cap's warning, and gets molten lava horfed all over him. Which quickly cools into a cocoon of basalt.

You wouldn't think it would cool that quickly but maybe its magic lava. You don't know.

She-Hulk rips up a stalagmite and whacks the Avatar in the ankle while yelling "IT'S CLOBBERING TIME!"

And she's kind of right because the Avatar leans over and clobbers her across the cave.

Cap tries to smash open Gilgamesh's basalt cocoon but can't make a scratch nor dent in the tough stone.

Gilgamesh just OH YEAHs free. Because he's super strong.

Captain America: "Watch it there, big man! Those flying fragments could have hurt somebody!"

It's sad that Gilgamesh and Captain America's dynamic has wholly become "Cap nags Gilgamesh for not considering his actions for even five seconds."

Back in the Inferno tie-ins, Cap was legitimately interested in getting to know Gilgamesh and to figure out if all his name dropping and claims to have been behind so many legendary deeds were bullshit or not.

Anyway, the mention of basalt gets Black Panther thinking.

Lava Men are tough to fight because they're semi-liquid. They can just reform from injury. But Jinku has hardened into basalt, apparently, despite being colored the same pink as the rest of the Lava Men. Instead of the dark gray that Gilgamesh's basalt coating had.

But given that Jinku is apparently solid stone and not gooey lava, Black Panther decides to excuse himself from the giant monster fight to sneak up and ambush Jinku while the guy is distracted controlling the Avatar.

Black Panther grabs Jinku's staff and wrestles for it. He tells him to surrender the staff or Black Panther will rip off his arm to take it.

But Jinku has more than just the strength of his basalt arm at his disposal. While he wrestles with Black Panther, Jinku is also controlling the Avatar. And he has the Avatar throw Namor at Black Panther.

Bonk.

Thor gets fed up with all this and decides to UNLEASH HIS TRUE MIGHT. He stirs up a hurricane, right here in this underground cave.

But Captain America stops him, saying that the storm will collapse the cave on the Avengers before it fells the Avatar.

Thor does stop but points out that they're getting their asses kicked right now anyway.

And then Black Panther notes that the Avatar is raising the heat in the cave and then passes the fuck out from it.

Captain America is holding up better, because super soldier formula. I guess the heart-shaped herb isn't a thing yet?

Feels weird for that to not be a thing.

Meanwhile, the Avengers West Coast arrives just as Invisible Sue is getting overwhelmed by holding up an entire island.

Wonder Man flies up to the teetering Avengers Island and grabs a corner to hold up. Taking some of the burden off of Sue.

In one of those moments that feels like a handwave to cover an error, Mr Reedtastic wonders how Wonder Man's dinky belt rockets have the lift to hold up so much weight.

Reed decides that the rockets are drawing power from Wonder Man's mutated life energy.

Despite that being a bonkers thing to posit.

Presumably, Byrne drew Wonder Man holding up a corner of Avengers Island and only afterward realized that's not how physics works.

Either way, Wonder Man manages to level the island, balancing on top of the rock spire.

Now that its temporarily balanced, Reed tells Sue to drop her force field. Let Atlas over here hold up the entire thing himself.

Wonder Man: "Hey! Do you mind, Richards? I'm already busting my back as it is!"

But Reed is looking at the big picture. Instead of just holding it up, they need to get it down, safely.

So while Wonder Man holds the entire thing himself, Invisible Sueman creates an invisible force field that spirals around the rock column.

Sue assumes this is to reinforce the column but it's still crumbling like this. Which Reed confirms is his plan. He wants the column to crumble.

MEANWHILE, back at the hot plot.

Black Panther, Captain America, and Quasar have passed the hell out from the heat. Namor and She-Hulk are flagging. And Thor and Gilgamesh are still going strong, monster punching.

Thor tells She-Hulk that this isn't just heat, it's magic heat. Which isn't constructive input.

She-Hulk suggests every Avenger still standing combine their strength to take out Avatar.

... Why weren't you combining your strength before?

Jinku: "It will avail you nothing, giantess! You who see yourselves as the noble champions of the surface world! But this time it is you who are the villains! And mine is the right of retribution!"

And then Jinku repeats the entire story about how their god Cha'sa'dra turned the Lava Men into immortal Lava Men, how he got called away from his busy god job to participate in some conflict (Inferno), how Cha'sa'dra got whacked by the Avengers, and how his death caused most of the Lava Men to turn to meat men again and instantly age to death.

She-Hulk: "We know all that! You told us not ten minutes ago..."

Do you get points for lampshading your own writing cliches?

Since we're in recap town for anyone who didn't pick up last issue, She-Hulk reiterates that Cha'sa'dra wasn't a god but an evil demon.

As you might expect, Jinku is no happier to hear this than the first time they told him.

So he recaps at them some more, explaining that the Lava Men that didn't instantly die, instead turned into "mindless stone."

So Jinku is the last Lava Man, he's pissed, and he's making it the Avengers' problem for causing the situation.

Even Thor is feeling the heat at this point. But Gilgamesh is still going strong because of bullshit Eternal resistances.

Gilgamesh EYE BEAMMMMs the ceiling of the cave, collapsing about a mountain worth of rock on top of the Avatar. THUS THE PROBLEM IS DEALT WITH FOREVER.

The Avatar just bursts out from under the rock pile, like he's coming back for one last scare.

Jinku says that since the Avatar isn't really alive, he can't die. Sure.

At this point, Namor has passed out from the heat and She-Hulk has gotten knocked out when the Avatar OH YEAH'd from under the mountain.

Leaving just Thor and Gilgamesh.

Except Gilgamesh decides he's going to solo this.

Thor: "Gilgamesh, no! Thy thoughts are madness!" Gilgamesh: "Then madness is the only way a warrior should think! Hear me, monster, if mind you have to understand... I am the warrior of the thousand names! I am the dragon slayer! I have fought ten thousand-thousand battles, and I have won them all! I am without equal in the annals of the Earth... AND I AM YOUR DOOM!!"

Dammit, Gilgamesh, why did you suddenly decide to be interesting? For irony reasons? Because he really does get smacked down immediately after that speech.

Fuckin' Gilgamesh.

Also, the hit Gilgamesh took was so devastating that he's just dead or something. The other Avengers have regained consciousness in time to observe that Gilgamesh isn't breathing.

Jinku gloats that soon the rest of the Avengers will be as dead as Gilgamesh probably is. And Namor goes Well Actually uh it seems less hellishly hot around here lately. Which Captain America seconds. Does seem less hot for some reason.

Jinku ignores that to direct the Avatar to kill the Avengers but he doesn't do that. He just stands and stares off at nothing.

Jinku: "What sorcery is this? My lava monster does not move... Does not obey me..." Someone: "Nor shall he, Jinku. He is ours now to control."

Dun dun dun.

Hey, remember all those Lava Men who didn't die but did turn into statues?

Yeah. They're fine now. They're good. They're better than good. They're golden.

And they karate chop Jinku so hard that he too becomes golden.

Apparently they all just needed some time to grow into their True Form.

Also, apparently, Jinku was constantly feeling agony every moment which does explain why he was so pissed and unwilling to listen to the Avengers tell him his god was shit. That and the blasphemy. But now that he's golden, the pain is gone. And he is in a better mood.

One of the gold dudes explains : "Free of the influence of Cha'sa'dra, we have evolved into this higher, finer form. And with this form comes greater understanding! Our brothers died because they were too thoroughly corrupted by Cha'sa'dra's evil magicks... But somehow, in our heart of hearts, we remained untouched... And so did you. For though you sought the destruction of the Avengers, it was not hate that drove you, but grief and anguish. You wished only to see right snatched from what you thought a terrible wrong. And so it has been. Set aside your weapon, brother, and let the joy of this beginning fill your soul!"

Well, okay.

This does not work for me.

For one thing, the people that became statues instead of instantly aging to death were said to be the ones who studied and used Cha'sa'dra's magicks for themselves. Why did using more magick mean being less corrupted?

For another, I dunno. I wish the Avengers had any input into the end of this plot. As it stands, they just get bounced around the room for a while and then deus ex rockina, they get saved because the plot clock ran down.

For another, dunno that Jinku is absolved of blame just because he was sad about bad things that happened. He was taking his grief out on Avengers that hadn't even been around to kill his god. She-Hulk, Namor, Black Panther, and Quasar weren't involved in that.

For a fourth thing, geez. You brought up the idea that the Avengers accidentally a genocide of the Lava Men. I don't like how they get absolved of all blame because "oh the ones that died, they all sucked, its good that they died." HOLY SHIT that is a take.

And I know, what kind of satisfying resolution can there be from the Avengers accidentally killing off all the Lava Men because they whacked a demon invading Earth. What moral lesson should they take from that? Don't punch demons? I don't know where I wanted the subplot to go after it was brought up that the Avengers did make an inadvertent fuckup and did real harm to this molten community but I can damn well tell you, never mind all that those guys sucked, actually, is maybe the worst way for it to go!

Anyway anyway anyway.

Jinku apologizes for doing the Avengers harm.

Hah. And Captain America says, half downplaying and half twisting the knife, that they'll all recover except Gilgamesh who is possibly probably dead from being punched too hard.

(I'm sure he's not dead. And not just in the way that almost no comic book character stays dead forever. More in the sense of what kind of shitty Eternal dies of being punched to death by a lava monster?)

Next time on Avengers, I guess we'll find out how dead Gilgamesh is.

Follow @essential-avengers for all the essential avengers posts except in a row. Like, reblog, comment. This is a list of ways you can engage with the post.

[crossdressingdeath]

Gandrel: A simple wanderer and monster hunter. But I'm no witchdoctor or cut-throat. Kyvir: If I were a cut-throat, I wouldn't admit it either.

So says the serial killer. I guess in his defence he hasn't admitted to that.

[angelicfantasies]

Marvin looked out the window, checking the weather before going home. It had been raining all day and they would rather not get drenched by a sudden downpour.

Fifteen minutes later they were putting away their umbrella and heard their partner's footsteps closing in on them.

"You stink." They turned to him, a questioning look on their face "The rain, it's smell, all over you. Stink." He was visibly cringing as he spoke keeping his distance while they took off their coat.

A shower and a lot of scented soap later they were settled on to Henrik's lap while he was working. They decided that they did much prefer smelling like mint in their partner's arms.

[roseverdict]

I SURVIVED DUOMO

AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS GRAB DAD'S MUSKETEER AND KARMIC'S WITCHDOCTOR AND BRING IN BONNIE ANNE AND TRICKY VINNY INSTEAD OF MY USUAL A-TEAM SKDJSKDNSKXNSJDJSSK

duomo my beloathed </3

[givemethesleep]

Guess who got polls

[prince-of-khrysalis]

Hi I would like to hear abt ur ocs 👀

cracks knuckles, TYSM FOR ENABLING ME! I have a whole lotta ocs so I think for this ask I'll just pick a few so I don't write a whole novel at once! A few pirates of mine! If anyone wants a wizard post of the same nature... (;

Let's start with my love my light my darling, Desiderius Calamitas! My resident musketeer. This guy.

Desi is, in a sense, my 'main' pirate! This is The Pirate! Born and raised in Monquista, he had it pretty rough being a non-native and dealing with Monquista's... shall we say exclusionary tendencies. Being a gorgon and growing up to feel ashamed of it and hide this at ALL times, along with being treated like some dangerous feral beast, Desi left the instant he could. Which was when he turned 18 and hijacked a pirate ship, effectively coercing the crew into handing over power as a trade-off for saving them from a close call with the Armada. He's a megalomaniac, it's true. With a love for all things bright and sparkly and pink and oh, he just wants to be a pirate yk?? He takes over as Captain to a reluctant crew and ends up slowly becoming a very infamous and wanted figure. Because he's a menace to society<3! A smart chessmaster, but naive and vain and the holder of a megalomaniac complex. Lovely little man. He wants to take over Monquista someday, but for now? He will happily settle for having the highest bounty possible by the Armada (and trying to figure out how guns work haha help he's never done this before).

MOVING ON! To one of his crewmates! Marion Merripen! (Desi's boyfriend cough cough) Who is the crew "witchdoctor", though in reality? He's a necromancer with a hatred of his own magic and is far more inclined to act as the crew's medic. Having been raised for a time by a Marleybonian doctor, he has medical knowledge and is in charge of keeping everyone else in one piece... mostly. Though he's been a pirate for longer, he doesn't seem all that interested in fame or fortune. Rather it's just... what he knows, after being picked up as a younger teen for the crew to get him away from Marleybone. Why away from Marleybone, besides it being hell on earth? Marion is a fae! Specifically, the son of a faerie and a merrow, a hybrid who can't help but stand out and... does not bode well with worlds like MB who can't hide their judgements. So he became a pirate instead. It was a nice outlet for his INTENSE repressed anger! He's a very grumpy fella, but he has plenty of reason to be, even if he's a touch too rough and mean at times. So a vulgar and fairly mean goth who's also in charge of patching ya up after ya get stabbed on the job for the millionth time, good luck!! And how about the starter antagonist, General Achille, (Desi's other boyfriend cough cough) someone who Desi and co. assume is a member of Kane's court. A 7ft tall battle angel General, who, after one too many disturbances, is tasked with finding and capturing Desi and his crew. Or killin him. Whichever comes first, the Armada isn't picky. Achille opts for the second option more often than not. There's a few issues though. Issue number one is that Desi is IMMEDIATELY taken by the sight of him, falling head over heels for the person trying to murder him weekly and finding him to just be the most radiant man to ever walk the Spiral. Achille has no fucking clue what any of that means, but over time Desi's weird reactions and constant flirting strike up a bit of, gasp, fondness?? Perhaps? And he starts to look forward to their encounters a bit, perhaps. Maybe. The other issue is that Achille is... not a clockwork, not that this is common knowledge. The crew doesn't have time to think about this while he's trying to slice them in half. But raised under the 'care' of the Armada since he was terribly young (after he lost his mother, three guesses as to how), he was taken in as a pet project. His sun magic being seen as a potential weapon to be wielded. Essentially brainwashing him for his entire life to be the perfect solider and question no orders, to not think for himself. But no one knows this. Not even Achille, having fallen so deep into the trance that he truly sees himself as a machine and needs to work to regain his humanity. Woo! After all, those clockwork wings attached to his back sure speak another story, huh?

[nerves-nebula]

May I also add: My feral witchdoctor oc that ironically has their own mask and staff plus an abundance of feathers.

At this point you might as well send me a reference sheet cuz I’m just guessing with those details, but aight

[docheros]

ok so. This was an idea I had a while ago that I posted on my personal blog and showed only to @esculentevil , but then @gutter-sun-fun found it and reblogged, but it was from the blog so 💀 also I changed some things, because the old ones probably weren't true

I'm posting here now XD it's a wip and mostly a joke, and it's probably not 100% true because I made these affirmations based only on my mutuals,, but yeah. let's go bitches

What your favorite Septic × Septic shipp says about you

MarvelSepticEye: You're 90% of this fandom, and you probably like sassy × himbo pairings

Schneeplebro: You're also 90% of this fandom, and your Henrik is reaally tall

AntiAverage: you like Soft!Anti

DapperAnti: you like Soft!Anti, but you're on the obscure side and we should be mutuals

HeroAverage: You believe in himbo supremacy

AntiHero: you want someone to love you even with all your flaws and believe in enemies to lovers supremacy

WitchDoctor: "shut up" "make me" all the time

Chameson: you like hurt/comfort... I guess?

JJstein: depressed workaholic/cinnamon roll dynamics amirite

DapperMagic: you like gentleman/lady dynamics but with dudes and i'm 99% sure your jameson is also a magician

AntiStein: your Anti messes with your Schneep. And they make out later

AntiMagic: you like their chaotic evil energy

Dochero: or you really have good taste or you never thought about them besides platonically

[adultswim2021]

Aqua Teen Hunger Force #43: “Video Ouija” | April 26, 2004 - 12:00 AM | S04E01

Welcome to a new season of Aqua Teen Hunger Force! I call it season 4. The rest of the world calls it season 3. Sorry about that.

Video Ouija marks one notable first: the first episode to not start with Dr. Weird’s castle. Instead the cold open of the show is Spacecataz, a failed pilot starring the Mooninites and the Plutonians. They chopped it up into little bite-sized bits and stuck them to the beginnings of this season’s episodes, to tell a little serialized story. It didn’t work. Honestly, the pilot isn’t that good, and telling the story this way is kind of a confusing mess. That’ll likely be the last thing I say about Spacekataz.

This episode is GREAT. I remember this season as being maybe the weakest of Aqua Teen’s canon, but I love this one. Meatwad is obsessed with a video game called VIDEO OUIJA, an atari-style video game that lets you talk to the dearly departed. He gets bored with it, which is unfortunate for Shake, who has elaborately committed suicide just so he can prank/haunt Meatwad. It’s gruesome and hilarious. His ruse works, but now he’s just trapped in video game world. Frylock hires Billy Witchdoctor Dot Com to do a seance, screaming “arise chicken!” ineffectually. It’s ridiculously funny and very quotable. I remember going into a live video of chicks hatching and being scolded for quoting it because too many people already said it. I left after a mischievous dog walked up and nabbed one of the chicks and ran off with it, shaking it in his mouth (NOTE: I made this part up! I left because there were too many people logging in to do hatespeech :( In reality the chicks all grew up to be sexy adult chickens, so no worries, mate).

EPHEMERA CORNER

Spacecataz

This is the actual pilot that the Spacecataz segments were pulled from. It’s on YouTube as we speak, but it was originally released on DVD as a bonus feature.

I don’t always do this with the ephemera, but I really did watch this. I was surprised to see that it actually is slightly different from what we saw on Aqua Teen. For example: the part where the Plutonians stop the ship even though they are going warp speed has slightly different dialogue. Also my memory might be deceiving me, but I think they reversed the shot of the Plutonians being flung out of the ship.

Honestly, this pilot isn’t that good. I’m not sure it could sustain a whole series, and they didn’t even work when you cut it up into bite-sized chunks. I kinda rack my brain thinking how these guys could be the focus of a TV series. I think the only thing they could have done well is host a night of Adult Swim via bumpers.

The pilot is extra short, under ten minutes. I’m guessing if it went to series they’d make an opening theme for it to bring it up to 11.5 minutes or whatever. It’s too bad.

MAIL BAG

London Arbuckle writes:

I was trying to remember when exactly we found out Space Ghost was over and I don't think they ever really officially announced it? I want to say the way they announced it was a bump aired sometime later in 2004 simply saying "SPACE GHOST IS KING DEAD" I'm pretty sure they didn't say anything around when Fillmore actually aired but I guess we should've read between the lines.

I do remember that bumper! But I think those guys like to flippantly say their shows were cancelled all the time so I was probably like “it’s not cancelled you IDIOTS” on whatever adult swim message board people were like “oh no” on. Also, I guess Space Ghost technically wasn’t dead since it was being a Gametap show. But, (Cartman voice) that sucked bawls

the final space ghost gets two paragraphs (not counting that ephemera corner nonsense [and it is nonsense]) while you write a small novel about harvey birdman, a show you allegedly hate.

You are a fucking bitch, dude. First of all, the EPHEMERA CORNER is basically an extension of the first part of the post, so YOUR LOSS. Second, that Birdman write-up is only long because I was extremely stoned when I wrote the first draft. I’m not nonsense, YOU ARE.

We're still a year out from Robot Chicken but I think you are gonna like it this time around. I think everyone at the time was heavily backlashing on referential humor back in the day after having their family guy fill that I became cool to hate on Robot Chicken. In addition to just being just well crafted from a technical point of view I think it's pretty darn funny in a vacuum. Promise me you'll give it a shot. Okay? Okay. Also I think Tom Goes to the Mayor stinks the second time around.

I will give it a shot, but I vow to dislike it. I’m sorry. Also, Tom Goes to the Mayor is pretty weak compared to what came after it. I’d argue there’s maybe like 5 really good episodes though.

Just a few more days until Halloween. Getting scared?

I’ve been watching scary movies, some of them are Italian which is opening new avenues for me. The types of screams I do are richer, more continental. I think you’re gonna like it

i would love more adult swim content from the blog

Ask and ye shall receive! Lol

[wetalkinboutbooks]

Reaper of Souls by Rena Barron

Summary: After so many years yearning for the gift of magic, Arrah has the one thing she’s always wanted—at a terrible price. Now the last surviving witchdoctor, she’s been left to pick up the shattered pieces of a family that betrayed her, a kingdom in shambles, and long-buried secrets about who she is. 

Desperate not to repeat her mother’s mistakes, Arrah must return to the tribal lands to search for help from the remnants of her parents’ people. But the Demon King’s shadow looms closer than she thinks. And as Arrah struggles to unravel her connection to him, defeating him begins to seem more and more impossible—if it’s something she can bring herself to do at all.

Set in a richly imagined world inspired by spine-tingling tales of voodoo and folk magic, Kingdom of Souls was lauded as “masterful” by the School Library Journal in a starred review. This explosively epic sequel will have readers racing to the can’t-miss conclusion. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌗

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Overall: A messy sequel to an amazing series, we get to see the after effects of the fall out of Arrah vs. Efiya from KOS… and when we tell you it is MESS!!!

~Spoiler-Full Review Below~

The Good: 

→ Arrah and Dimma

Geena: One of my favourite things about Reaper was the sprinkle of Dimma’s POVs throughout the story. We got an insight into Dimma’s life before she was Arrah, and how her relationship with the other Orisha and Daho developed. It also really helped build up the suspense near the end and set up plot twists that clocked us near the end. Dimma aside, let’s talk about Arrah. Rena Barron said brooding boys are out, brooding girls are IN! And you know what, we love to read it. The story starts off with Arrah trying to save Sukkar after she snapped all his bones while trying to save him, and she does save him :) Or so she thinks but that’s besides the point. Over the length of the book we follow Arrah’s inner turmoil of suddenly having the power of 10 tribal chieftains and being insecure about whether or not she even deserves it.

I loved Arrah, even when she was holding herself up to a terribly high bar and beating herself up about everything she did. Arrah helped bring her Auntie back from the dead and was like “Damn I suck :/” and thought shattering a girl’s glass (who was flirting with Rudjek) put her on the same level as her mom and Efiya. I was sitting there like NO GIRL YOU’RE PERFECT, YOU, YOUR MISSING TOOTH AND YOUR PETTY NATURE!! 

Kae: YAAAAAAAAAS! Geena summed Arrah and Dimma up perfectly. 

But I would like to add how much I love Arrah and how selfless she is. She’s always thinking about her friends and their safety, the safety of the tribal people, and of course the kingdom. She’s a worry woman, but for all the right reasons. And she also cares about herself; so much even that like Geena said, she beats herself up for the smallest of things. She’s so worried about being evil like her mother and her sister, that she calculates every single move that she makes, debating if it’s really worth it to use strong magic or not. 

As for Dimma, I loved her POV’S. She is a complex character who has been demonized since book 1. We were taught to believe, through the POV of some of the Gods, that Dimma was a horrible Goddess who wrought nothing but chaos. They erased her name from history, LITERALLY. And Dimma became known as the Unnamed Orisha. While reading her POV, we learn that Dimma was quite selfless, much like Arrah (since they are technically the same person). Dimma was full of love and loved even harder. She went out of her way to give Daho immortality as well as his people, because she loved them so much. She defied the rules of the universe for her love, and it only came to bite her in the ass in the end. Like her siblings told her, “A God’s love is a dangerous thing.” And it was, but not exactly for the reasons one might think.

Geena:  Kae’s summary of Dimma and Arrah is AMAZING, you know my ability to connect dots when reading is kinda shit so reading Kae’s summary gave me realization…  Arrah tries so hard to separate herself from Dimma, because she refuses to believe that a part of her is in love with Daho because she herself is in love with Rudjek… but it’s like girl… you have travelled to the ends of the earth to fight and bring back the people you love (the tribespeople) just like Dimma searched the ends of the universe for immortality to give to Daho. It’d be much easier to reconcile your feelings if you just accepted that “Okay, I may have been Dimma but now I am Arrah”

Also another thing I love about Arrah is how she had…. For a time… three dudes in love with her… or at least what she thought was three dudes. Real hot girl shit. 

→ Rudjek and Daho

Geena: You know the character archetype that’s like a snarky boy who knows he’s hot shit and acts accordingly, but when it comes to the person he’s in love with he’s just a bowl of mush. That’s Rudjek, and only Rudjek can pull it off. In KOS, he was slated to be the next vizier because of his father, in Reaper he’s known as a prince because his dad snaked his way into becoming the monarch. So, now he’s the snarky prince…. And the only snarky prince with rights! His POVs were actually so fun to read, like following the politics of the Kingdom and him dealing with his new craven powers…. Which also had him being able to smell pheromones when people were doing the dirty around him 😭

I really liked that Rena gave him a POV, because now we get to see how he develops given the fact that him and Arrah are dangerous to one another, because he saps her magic with a single touch and could kill her. The whole time Arrah is stressing like “Damn, what if he doesn’t like me anymore because we can’t touch” meanwhile Rudjek is like “I’ll fight the Gods if I have to, to keep her by my side” and it’s like 🥺Also, who let a teenager be in control of a whole army… I thought the vizier was a sly and smart man but I digress… Another thing I liked about Rudjek in this book was that he didn’t shy away from uncomfortable conversations with Arrah, regarding the fact that he confused Efiya for Arrah when they did the unspeakable in the clearing in KOS. Like, that was very mature of them and I’m glad they could deal with that misunderstanding… But… hands down… my favourite scene… During the climax of the book Rudjek gets a demon soul shoved down his body, and immediately assumes it’s the demon king…. And his only command to his friends is to not let him near Arrah😭😭😭 I was like PEAK ROMANCE, SOFTEST SHIT, SACRIFICIAL LOVER!!!!! 

Kae: SO GEENA SUMMED UP RUDJEK SO DAMN WELL. LIKE DUDE OMG? Correct. He is perfect. I really don’t have much to add but I just genuinely loved him as a character. He is caring for both Arrah and his friends. He is also one of the few male characters I’ve read that actively tries to go against their father. Most dudes in books are like “Fine puhpa, I shall do your evil bidding.” But Rudjek is like “Sike bitch, I’ll let you think that but I’m doing what I WAAAANT!” 

But okay, let’s talk about Daho. So first off, I love him??? Am I a villain sympathizer now? Tbh, I don’t really see him as a villain. Man’s didn’t commit a genocide or try to scheme Arrah out of her pants. AND HE VERY MUCH HAD THE CHANCE TO and he was like “nah.” And I appreciate that. Because there are a few certain villainous men who I shan’t name, that be on that scant shit. And Daho is just like… genuinely trying to avenge his wife’s death (Dimma) and try to get Arrah to remember that she is Dimma. 

YES, I know he got Arti to bring him back. BUUUUUT, he didn’t tell her to kill a bunch of kids and shit to do it. Arti did all that evil shit on her own and Daho was like “look, i don’t condone that shit. But it’s over and I’m sorry it happened but I can’t change it.” And I’m like… okay, mood. I get it. Daho is sweet and caring. He looked out for Arrah in *redacted’s* body because we didn’t know *redacted* was dead the whole time. And even then, Daho was still like “My bad… But he wasn’t using his body??? So I took it???” Why let it go to waste, amiright? 

Geena: STOOOOP FOR REAL HE WAS LIKE “It was empty, I didn’t think you’d mind” 

Kae: LMAOOO OKAY BUT DEADASS. And like, idk man. He just seriously isn’t a bad person. He was trapped because after the God’s killed Dimma, he was like “BET IMMA JUST KILL THEM” and they lowkey were shook so they trapped his ass in a box for a millenia or whatever. He wasn’t even out to kill all humanity or anything. The God’s were just being some haters and now he’s suddenly the bad guy. Anyway, we stan Daho in this house. 

Geena: Daho is how you write a sympathetic villain. He owns up to his own mistakes even while his demons run free terrorizing people. Kae said it best that he just wants justice for his wife and unfortunately history is written by the victors so the Orisha painted him out to be a bad guy… My dude was just chugging that respecting my wife juice and they killed her… and he also thinks they killed his son… Guess me and Kae are just villain sympathizers now 

The Bad:   

→ The Ending 

Kae: Okay, let’s get it. And I also just want to clarify that when we say ���the bad”, we don’t mean we hate it. This is just something that was like “oh fuck, this is BAAAAD! THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GO DOOOWN.” 

But like, good Lord. The ending? That shit was crazy. First of all, we find out that *redacted* aka, SUKKAR. OUR SWEET, PLAYFUL, SARCASTIC SUKKAR. IS DEAD. HE HAS BEEN DEAD THIS WHOLE TIME!? Excuse me while I *SCREEEEEEEEEEEAM*. Like, what an unforeseen twist. This mf kicked the bucket back in KOS when Arrah tried to save him. Turns out… She maybe… Totally… possibly… Absolutely killed my guy on accident. He dead-dead. And this is how we find out that Daho took over his body, once Sukkar’s spirit ascended. It was a really sad reveal and my heart kind of hurt reading it. I straight up wasn’t expecting that to happen. THEEEEEN. GOTDAMN EFIYA. IS BROUGHT BACK. 

Geena: No joke, the ending of Reaper was just one sucker punch followed by another… At first you think Tyrek (the prince from KOS who joins Arrah and her crew on a journey to save the tribespeople) is the demon king, then you think it’s Rudjek because he’s getting possessed, and then you learn it’s Sukkar… The final punch to the gut was Daho bringing back Efiya because his close general asked for her… because she’s his daughter. We were like, DAHO ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU SAW THE DAMAGE SHE DID TO THE HUMANS!!! Like Efiya may have grown quickly in a few months but her brain isn’t fully developed, like that girl is UNHINGED!!! I thought we were done with the Efiya chapter but here we are, and I’m scared to see what role she’ll play in the final instalment of the series. I guess this is the case of bringing back an old villain that can work out really well…  I trusted Rena with the messy Arrah/Daho/Rudjek love triangle, so I trust her with this too 

The Ugly:  

→ Tyrek 

Geena: Remember how I said Rudjek is the only valid snarky prince… Yea, Tyrek can CHOKE!! In KOS he sides with Efiya and she wreaks havoc in the Kingdom, and in Reaper he’s brought to his knees. Rudjek’s dad wants to execute him for his crimes, but Arrah sympathizes with him because she knows how Efiya’s mind control worked. As you read, you get a sense of “Okay, maybe he isn’t bad, he’s helping Arrah and them” but then you get to the climax and you’re like okay nvm this boy was insane… Imagine travelling to a whole other dimension and making deals with demons, because you’re in a fucked up sort of romance with a half-demon girl. He managed to lie to Arrah that he was being controlled by Efiyah, when he was really with Efiya the whole way…. Even when she told him to murder his whole family… this man was vile!! He’s also one of our first fake outs, when he pretends to be the demon king I was kinda disappointed… I was like no this ruins the messy love triangle I’ve been waiting for! But it was just a fake out, Tyrek was just trying to scare Arrah into freeing Efiya, whose soul was in the demon dagger that Arrah used to kill her in KOS. Overall, 1/10 for this man… the 1 point is for when he figured out “Sukkar” had a crush on Arrah before Arrah even knew.  

Conclusion 

Kae: So, I don't have much to add to Tyrek’s snake ass. He really was ugly in the end. I’m glad he’s dead. 

But to conclude, this was such an amazing, refreshing read. Reaper of Souls was a wonderful sequel to Kingdom of Souls. Rena writes so beautifully and she didn’t hesitate to have us readers shaking in our boots. Getting more background information on Dimma, the Gods, and their old ass war, was really fun and insightful! IT added to the story in a way I hadn’t even thought about until I was consuming it all! 

Arrah and Rudjek are perfect angels and I can’t wait to see where book three leads them. I also want to give a shout out to Essnai and Majka for being such good friends to Arrah and Rudjek. Same to Kira and the Cravens. This is a really close knit group of friends who will go to the ends of the Earth (and literally new dimensions) for each other. THAT’S LOVE, BITCH. And we LOVE to see it. 

Geena: For real! Rena Barron set up such an amazing cast of characters, and she really emphasizes the power of friendship in her series and it’s one of my favourite things to read. With Reaper, from the very start, she sets up the story in such a way you’re literally screaming by the end… I think it requires a special kind of skill to be able to set up a story so well that while you do make predictions about what’s going to happen, it still shocks you when you realize you’re right. Cannot wait to see the absolute mess that will be the final book, with Rudjek/Arrah vs. Daho… and the drama it will bring now that the Orishas realize that Arrah is Dimma’s reincarnation.  

[austarus]

Mermay Headcanon: The Mermaid (You) and The Pirate Gentleman (HR Wells)

**A/N: The picture/edit/gif does not belong to me.

*My little and late contribution to MerMay month. @crazythoughtsandlove​ and I were talking about mermaid and pirate ideas lol. I tried, I really tried to do something. Honestly, this is probably shit and I can’t say anything other than I’m sorry I tried to make it funny and slow-burn-y and cute and I don’t know what happened. Anyway, this was the little Easter Egg that I had dropped in my HR x Reader fic Hidden Among The Fairy Lights. Obviously this is in headcanon form rather than a full fic because I’m too mentally exhausted from everything in my life. Anyway, enjoy? Remember to reblog and comment to support content creators.

Word Count: 2568

The fates seemed to have decided to toy with me today, HR thought as he ran through the streets of the Brazeeno Market Place

He dodged left and right, ducking past people and through alleys

The Pirate (Gentleman) as he likes to add on was on the run from a couple of ruffians who he maybe sorta accidentally provoked and got into a skirmish with

HR did it for a rock

Yes, you read that correctly. A rOcK.

But not just any rock, it was a cinnabar-fluorite-infused stone that was essential to his journey

His twin brother, Harry, who’s also a pirate, needed HR to fetch it while he retrieved the map for the Kjarni Flower

Both men were skilled in swordsmanship as well as improvising on hand in a fight

Harry: Go in, get it, and leave. Here’s the coins. Don’t start anything and don’t get distracted

HR: I’ll be in and out before you know it. I won’t start anything, scout’s honor

Harry: You’re not a scout

HR: Doesn’t mean I can’t use the saying

Harry: Yes, it does, you idiot

The crew just sheepishly looked at their two captains that argued like children

Anyway, back to HR who’s been cornered on the creaky and old harbor with vacant ships while you, the reader, were reading the background on him and Harry prior to this chase scene

HR held his ground, sword out and the stone safely tucked away in his pocket

A smirk on his face as he tried to play it cool, but inwardly he was panicked since there were no ships around at all

Reggie (Ruffian #1): End of the line, scum

Remy (Ruffian #2): Hand over the stone, moron

Roma (Ruffian #3): And pray to the gods that your spirit passes on to the other side safely

Now that’s a little harsh, isn’t it?

They took a step forward and HR took a step back, his foot slightly slipping back from the wet boards of the pier

Before any of them do anything, a wet yet firm hand had latched onto HR’s ankle, pulling the pirate off with great force

The dark-haired man kicked and tried to keep his eyes open as the undersea force dragged him away from the surface

HR’s eyes widened when he saw you under the salty sea, a mermaid with gleaming skin and seashells threaded in her hair

He saw the concern flood over your face, the gentleness within your dazzling eyes that he’d never heard of

Stories of mythical ravenous monsters under the sea that eat people of the land in a bloodthirsty rage

But the spectacle in front of him seemed anything but that

Still HR remained cautious, a hand over his pocketed knife as he eyed your colored tail

You put a hand to your lips, taking his hand gingerly instead of his ankle to bring him up to the surface

HR coughed out water and cursed at the saltiness of the sea, gathering his bearings before turning to you

You watched him with curious eyes as he shook his hair from the water before running his hands through his wet hair

Secretly you had always been intrigued by the land dwellers and their peculiar way of life

Even if the merpeople believed any interaction with humans to be forbidden by execution

You had overheard the exchange with the other humans and weighed in your thoughts before intervening at the most convenient moment

HR: Y-you’re beautiful- I mean a mermaid

He watched your cheeks darken at his words

You: *whispers bashfully* N-no’s really said that to me before. I’m not that pretty

HR: But you’re utterly breath-taking *shakes head and is astonished, blinking a few times* Wait, you can talk?

You: *cocks a confused eyebrow* of course I can, why wouldn’t I? I’m not some sort of animal that lives in the ocean

HR: I-I don’t know, the stories-

You: Stories?

HR explained to you the legends and stories, which you helped clarify the essence of the Merpeople

In return, HR did the same as he spoke of the human world and his adventures as a pirate

He oddly found himself confiding in you about the Kjarni Flower and its mystical powers to creating an elixir

You expressed the Merpeople’s legends regarding it, which provided to be beneficial to HR

The Pirate noticed your sparkling eyes in the midday sunlight, intrigued by every word you spoke

It particularly struck his heart when you expressed that your interest in the land-dwellers world

HR: Why are you telling me this? I’m a pirate, I could hurt you when you least expect it

You: I don’t know, I feel like I could trust you not to harm me

I don’t think I can to such a kind spirit, HR thought

Silence had filled the serene atmosphere between the two of you, waves rocking you and HR back and forth

HR noticed that the two of you weren’t so different, unlike the legends of the Pirate’s Guild

Everything down to your navel was regularly human. No webbed hands or fins for ears. The only exception was the gills on your neck and your majestic tail

The two of you remained there, floating in the sea before HR began to cough

You: I should get you back to land, you need to go back to your people

HR: Wait, before you do. My name is HR. HR Wells, the Pirate Gentleman

You: Gentleman, huh? Well, my name is (Y/N), Mermaid of Uquilnoah

You brought him back to shore behind some rocks, to which HR spotted his ship and his brother on deck with his back turned to him

The sun had fallen, expressing the evening time before night took its shift

You: I guess this is goodbye

HR: Why do you want to come to the human side? It’s corrupt and foul.

You looked down before gazing off to the laughter and lights and people on shore

You: I-I want to swim and walk. I want to go on adventures and explore what the sea cannot give me. I want to share experiences with others, a part of their stories and lives

HR: Come with me then. My troublesome hard hat of a brother and I go on adventures every day. We’d be more than honored to have you.

You: I-I’d like that, but how? I don’t have legs

HR pursed his lips in thought as he glanced back to his brother’s ship

HR: Stay here, I’ll be back. Here *hands you his knife* keep this until I get back

You took his knife, watching him swim to shore as your cheeks dusted pink at his words

No man or merman had ever expressed such interest in your or your thoughts

It was always someone else, some other beauty that held the center stage

You ended up being more of a background person

A hand ran over the faint scars over your body, trying to push away the hurt you had attained from others over the years

I just wanted to matter. I’ve always wanted my existence to mean something. Maybe in the human world, I can find that in my journeys away from Uquilnoah

HR hurried onto the shore and hurried onto his ship with his wet clothes chilling him as the wind blew

Harry shot his brother an incredulous look as HR ran onto the deck out of breath and speaking rapidly like a mad man

The twin dark-haired man stared at his brother before getting his attention

Harry: So, let me get this straight. You got the stone, ran into trouble, met a mermaid- who surprisingly didn’t bite your head off and now she’s waiting by the alcove shores for you because you promised her to be back?

HR: *catches his breath and smiles innocently* Yes :D

Harry: *facepalms* Are you fucking stupid or are you fucking stupid? That mermaid’s probably baiting you to sink this entire ship. We need to go. Now.

HR: She’s not lying to me!

Harry: How do you know that?!

HR: Because she told me about the Merpeople and their legends of the Kjarni Flower. She told me how she yearns for an adventure like never before, with people like us

Harry purses his lips and sighs roughly, rubbing his face harshly with calloused hands

HR: Don’t you see, Harr, she’s willing to come with us. Hell, she can even help us if we encounter something along the way.

Harry: Fine, but how are you going to get her to walk?

HR: Easy. Caitlin should have a potion or magic object.

Caitlin/Frost was the crews brilliant Ice-Witchdoctor, terrifying in batter but had sufficient magical abilities when it came to healing

Barry was the First Mate when both HR and Harry were off deck, quick on his feet for solo stealth missions

Cisco was the Quartermaster, distributing items such as a variety of guns/weapons, ammunition as well as coming up with the plans with the rest of the crew

Jesse was the pilot, manning where the ship sails because Harry doesn’t want his daughter doing anything dangerous, but she’s a badass gunner when it comes down to it.

Iris and Wally are the main Gunners for the group, their marksmanship impeccable through the harsh training they received from their father, Joe

Cecile and Joe typically fill in any role that needs to be filled depending on the situation that this crew runs into

Anyway, Caitlin manages to whip something up in which she’s enchants a necklace with the power to give you your legs and the ability to remain on land for long periods of time

However-yes, there’s a however, duh- there is a time limit

Every midnight strike, you fatigue and must recharge in the ocean overnight in order to not die from water deprivation

HR grinned widely head back to the covered alcove and waving you to come as close as possible

Explaining everything to you, the Pirate Gentleman handed you the enchanted necklace that held a single Golden Star Sapphire gemstone

Right as you pulled it on your tail transformed into legs in a blink of an eye, but… you were naked

HR had immediately turned around right when that happened, his cheeks flaring up as well as yours

You facepalmed before covering yourself, stuttering out that you’d need some clothes

HR went silent shedding his jacket off as well of his linen shirt and handed them to you with his eyes averted

You: Okay, I’ve put them on

HR moved around in time to see you stumble on your legs, leaning forward to catch you

The Wells twin couldn’t help himself as his eyes ran over your figure in his arms, his heart thumping louder than ever in his chest

HR: Come on, the crew’s waiting to meet you

You and HR returned to the ship, nervously giggling at each other while you got used to walking.

You: How did you learn to swim?

HR: By struggling. And a lot. You make it look so easy

You: Well you make walking look so easy

HR: Think about it this way, doll, now you’re ambidextrous for land and sea

You met the crew and got along with them nicely, with the exception of HR’s prickly brother

HR told you not to worry about him with a cheeky wink

You were mesmerized by the sights and sounds and colors of the world above the sea

HR guided you every step of the way

The fates pulling your heartstrings even closer together

Harry later secretly gave you his blessings and told you to watch out for his dorky brother who can’t seem to stop having heart eyes for you whenever you’re on the deck

Jesse was actually the first one to approach you, asking so many questions about the sea

She became your best friend from then on as you entertained her with stories of life under the ocean

Jesse and the other see what’s happening as HR beats around the bush with you, but obviously doing it in the name of friendship and Pirate-Mermaid truce

And they groan at the lingering gazes and soft exchanges between you and HR

Many times, Cisco has groaned “The thirst is real”

And many times, Iris and Barry have had to dial Cisco back to let you and HR to read the atmosphere

One night while hanging out with HR in his room

He was showing you how to read a map and use the items on board to read the stars

You ended up coughing

And coughing

And coughing

And coughing and gasping for air

Before HR realized that its time for you to hibernate in the water for the night

So, what did HR do?

Like the dork that he is, he picked you up and hurried to the main deck before throwing you off the ship

Yes, you read that right

The man panicked, ok? What should he have done, thrown a jar of water on you? That still wouldn’t help the problem

HR leaned over the wooden railing of the docked ship, watching aurora-like light emanate from the sea

Before you popped up from the water, breathing nicely and looking all refreshed

The puppy boy apologized to you so many times for losing track of time

But you waved it off

That night, HR stayed up with you as he lowered himself on a spare rowboat to be at the same level with you on the ocean water

You: HR you need to go to bed

HR: No I *yawns* don’t.

You: Uh huh *smirks*

HR: I like your company so I’m staying

You: I like your company too, but Harry’s gonna roast your ass if you’re not fully awake tomorrow morning

HR: Screw him, he can do it without me

You: You’re an idiot

HR: You wound me

That following morning, Harry did roast his ass when he found his brother sleeping outside in a boat on deck when the two of you finally bid each other goodnight

Frequently nightly swims with each other

Gentle laughs under the shining moonlight as the sea creatures rest

Getting so close to kissing one another

But pulling away because you both are just friends

After all, mermaids and humans can’t really be together because of the barrier of survival styles

Bottom line, because I’m running out of things to say and its 2 AM, you and HR slowly fell in love with one another as you journeyed with him to find the mystical Kjarni Flower

Unraveling its secrets with the crew you’ve grown so close to

Calling them family

Perils falling into every step of the way, elongating the pining the burned between the two of you who come from two different worlds

You had charmed your way into his heart and he in yours

The Pirate Gentleman taught his lovely Mermaid self-defense as well as the simple things in life to enjoy

You encouraged his secret talent for writing, something he hid from everyone

It’s no surprise that HR ended using his part of the elixir from the Kjarni flower to enable you to be on land without a time restraint

To be by his side all night as the days went on

Especially when there was a child on the way

But neither of you know that right now 😉

[fairie-gothmother]

In The Shadow of Starlight, Part 7: Bandit Lyfe

First Part: The Fall 

Previous Part: Gut Instincts

Troy groaned in pain and anger. If every return trip from Sanctuary was going to involve being jammed into a drop pod, they’d better be few and far between. He cursed Lilith for not allowing him to sync with their New-U stations. Immediately after landing at the Crimson Raider base, the old Lieutenant ordered Troy to stay in his room, which had further soured his mood. 

Troy was restless, irritated and still buzzing with energy. He flopped onto the bed, closed his eyes, and attempted to get a grip on himself.

Knock knock.

“What?” Troy snapped.

A gravelly voice called, “I had a feeling that was you in the drop pod.” Raz slipped inside the room. After taking one look at Troy sprawled out on bed, he added, “You look like hell.”

“You’re lucky I’m too sore to get up and strangle you,” Troy threatened half-heartedly, rubbing his aching neck. 

"I take it you didn't have much luck with the scientist," Raz guessed.

The Calypso sighed. "Nope. Managed to get a little extra gas in my tank, though. Long story," Troy indicated by waving his glowing hand before placing it over his eyes.

“Well, now. I’d say that’s cause for celebration. How about I offer you a drink to lift your spirits?”

“Aren’t you on probation?” Troy asked.

“Technically, yes. But what the higher ups don't know won’t hurt ‘em. Or would you rather be a good little Crimson Raider and stay put?” Raz winked and beckoned toward the door.

In response, Troy threw a pillow past Raz’s head hard enough for it to burst into a puff of feathers. 

Raz pulled a feather from his beard. “Hmph. Not even Octavia needed this much convincing. Suit yourself.” With a shrug, he turned to leave.

Troy lowered the second pillow he was about to chuck at his ex-general. “And you left her alone with drunk bandits?” The Calypso jumped up from the bed. He hadn’t taken two steps before he caught the suspicious looks Raz shot at him. Troy wasn’t in the mood. “Alright, you win. I need to blow off some steam anyway.” He shouldered past the shorter man, and they both made their way across the compound.

~~~

Octavia accepted the bottle of rakk ale Raz offered. “Music and booze? Did you happen to organize something that Lieutenant Cramer wouldn’t approve of?” 

“Cramer isn’t invited.” Raz opened his own bottle of ale and clinked it against hers. “Welcome to your first bandit bash.”

The ex-bandit recruits had managed to transform the small lot behind the Crimson Raider compound into a convincing outdoor pub. They handed out drinks and gathered around a bonfire while a radio played upbeat rock music. 

Even Troy had joined in on the event. Octavia hadn’t seen him since he passed out in the medical room, which had been tense and awkward. She ran her gaze over him, careful not to linger long enough to be caught staring. He had his swagger back, siren marks glowing brightly. Once everyone was confident that he wasn’t going to slaughter them, Troy became the life of the party. He was a god among bandits, after all.

Octavia wasn’t sure what she expected, but hanging with bandits was enjoyable. The burn of alcohol in the back of her throat was odd so early in the afternoon, even for a day off, but it was a welcome sensation. Her stress was melting away, emboldening her to let loose a bit. Today was just about having fun. And dammit, she deserved it.

As the day went on, Octavia had consumed enough liquid courage to unglue herself from Raz’s side. One of the younger bandit guys sat next to her at the bar. After some easy conversation and exchanging names, he declared her his new friend. She had unfairly stereotyped him as another blood thirsty idiot. He wasn’t particularly bright, but Octavia was warming up to him.

“And that’s why I don’t like stalkers. Those invisible assholes give me the creeps,” he said, slicking back his ash blonde hair.

Octavia swiveled in her chair to face him, bumping her knees against his in the close space. “So let me get this straight. You don’t think stalkers have tails, but instead have really long-”

“Of course! What else do you think that thing is for?”

“I think it’s just a tail, Collin,” Octavia laughed. 

Collin opened his mouth to argue further but was interrupted by a familiar gravelly voice. 

“Harassing the new girl already?” Raz had reappeared casually smoking at the bar beside them. 

Collin greeted him. “Did you know Octavia is gonna be working in the greenhouse? She-” Collin’s eyes widened when he noticed who was approaching. 

Troy Calypso glanced down at their knees touching with a slight raise of his eyebrows, making Octavia uncomfortable enough to scoot back. His mechanical arm reached across the bar to claim a bottle of liquor, then the Calypso turned back to the entourage following at his heels. Not staring was harder than it should have been. The way he relished in the spotlight with effortless charisma was mesmerizing. 

“What do you think, Octavia?”

Collin’s question pulled her out of her daze, and her face reddened when she realized she’d zoned out on the question.

“Um, sorry. What?”

Collin repeated, “Do you think you could get me in the greenhouse? I’d kill to get out of the shop. I keep trying to convince the foreman to let me make weapon prototypes.”

Raz butted in. “Ha! The last time you presented one of your prototypes, it blew up in your face. Literally. You singed both your eyebrows.” 

Collin sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah.” Then he held up both hands. “But I managed to keep all my fingers.”

“Real cute, punk,” Raz said, flipping the younger man half of a bird.

Octavia couldn’t help but chuckle at their banter. “Wow. You have all your teeth and fingers? Not bad for a bandit.”

Collin flashed an exaggerated smile, displaying all of his pearly whites.

The radio music changed to a poppy dance song. Collin’s face lit up. “Ooh, I love this song!” He jumped up from his seat and extended his hand. “Dance with me.”

Octavia didn’t have time to decline before she was pulled from her chair into the group of bandits dancing around the fire. Even with a buzz, she was not willing to embarrass herself on the dance floor. Collin had moves that put her stiff shuffling to shame. She appreciated his help giving her little spins and twirls. She prayed she could fake it well enough to get through the song.

She glanced around the area to see how many people were watching her make a fool out of herself. Her eyes wandered to Troy, who was basking in the attention of several bandits. Her stomach fluttered when one of the women leaned in closely and whispered into his ear.

“I need another drink,” Octavia said to her dance partner. 

~~~

This was how the Calypso twins spent most of their time in the early days of the Children of the Vault. Partying with their followers, dancing to whatever played on the radio, drinking cheap alcohol. The familiarity was comforting to Troy. The difference with today was the absence of his sister outshining him. 

“I always did like you more than Tyreen,” crooned a female admirer into Troy’s ear.

“Bullshit. You were a total God Queen simp,” said another girl. 

The first woman swatted at the other for calling her out. “You bitch, I only bought her merch because the color goes better with my eyes.”

The ex-God King flashed his golden fangs. “Ya know, that right there is considered false devotion. Do you know how I used to handle the falsely devoted?” he asked sweetly. When the woman shook her head, he placed two fingers of his siren hand beneath her chin and tilted her head to the side. “It meant you'd get your pretty little throat ripped out.”

The woman was so drunk that the threat went completely unrecognized. “Pretty?” she giggled.

Troy rolled his eyes as he released her. He took a swig from the bottle clenched in his mechanical fist. Although he missed having admirers, ones like this annoyed him. Even without his twin here, he still couldn't escape her shadow.

Troy slipped away from his entourage, snuck over to the bar, and told the man behind it to mix him a drink. Where was Raz? He wanted to give him shit for setting up a bar with no lime wedges. Looking toward the edge of the lot, he spotted Octavia sitting by the fence. A young, blonde pretty-boy was attempting to get her to her feet. She shook her head, and pretty-boy gave her a pat on the shoulder before returning to the fireside to dance. Troy ordered a second cocktail and walked over to her. 

“You look thirsty,” Troy said, holding the drink out to her. “I’d say my treat, but open bar and all.”

Octavia looked up in surprise and took the cup with an appreciative smile. “I’d say thanks, but open bar and all.” She took a sip and wrinkled her nose. “What’s this?”

“Lemon Lime & Bullets. Minus the lime.” Troy threw his drink down in one gulp. He watched in amusement as Octavia fished out the bullet from her own cup with her finger. 

“I see what you’re doing. You’re trying to get on my good side,” she said slyly.

“Hm, am I? I guess that depends. Is it working?” he asked with a cocky grin.

“Maybe a little,” she said, taking another sip of her now ammunition-less cocktail.

He sat on the ground beside her, rested his back against the chain link fence, and nodded toward the dancing silhouettes a short distance in front of them. “Let me guess. You don’t dance.”

“It’s not my thing,” she said.

“Aw, come on. Let me teach you some moves. Only slightly provocative ones, I promise.”

She smiled. “Tempting, but I’ll pass.”

Troy huffed, “Alright, fine. You’re no fun. If you don’t dance and you don’t even fit in with these people, what are you doing here?”

Octavia was visibly bothered by the comment. He realized how shitty that sounded and rushed to rephrase. “I mean, it’s cool you’re here. I just don’t get it. There’s a lot I don’t get about you, witchdoctor.” He ruffled her hair with his siren hand.

She pushed his hand away and smoothed her hair back into place. Troy swore he saw a hint of pink in her cheeks. “I’m not sure myself. I never come to these kinds of things, but I guess I thought it might be fun.”

“Well, are you having fun?”

She looked up to meet his eyes. “Yeah. I think I am.” 

Maybe it was the alcohol or the extra energy in his body that was making his brain fuzzy, but in that moment Troy was certain what Octavia wanted. Anticipation hung in the air, along with the suspense that comes when someone flicks their eyes down to your lips and back. She tipped her head back, just enough to give him permission, and then-

A vibration from Troy’s pocket made him jump. “What the hell?” The Echo he’d nicked from Sanctuary nearly vibrated out of his pocket. There was a message.

//Unknown_User//: smile 4 the camera :)

The display automatically opened a live video feed showing a man and a woman sitting on the ground with their backs against a chain link fence. Troy recognized the back of his own head. Oh fuck.

“Boom time, heretics!” a voice shouted from behind.

Thinking fast, Troy grabbed Octavia and shielded her against the blast. The force from the explosion sent the two of them tumbling across the ground.

“Vi, you need to run.”

“B-but what-,” she squeaked. 

“Now!” he ordered, and she took off toward the base.

The fence had been blown open. Bandits and psychos were pouring inside, firing guns and swinging buzzaxes. Cambots floated through the air above, recording the onslaught.

“Alright then, party crashers. Let's dance.” Troy opened his mechanical hand, and his sword digistructed into his palm. A smile spread impossibly wide across his face until the jaw split open at the modified hinges. The God King slashed through the crowd, decapitating and disemboweling. He roared, shredding throats open with his jaws. Psychos screamed as he crushed their skulls in his mechanical hand. The popping of bone, the squishing of flesh, the warmth of blood. So much red. It was a rush of euphoria.

A cambot hovered overhead focused on Troy. The Calypso snatched up a bandit by the neck. “You assholes weren't invited,” he growled, somewhat garbled through his open jaws.

The bandit choked, “Tyreen will protect me...The Reaping... shall purge-” The rest was lost as neck tendons stretched and snapped until the bandit’s head was ripped off. Troy flung the severed head at the cambot, sending it spinning through the air.

Alarms sounded from the Crimson Raider base. Soldiers emerged from the building and joined the fight against the invaders. Across the lot, Raz shot at multiple cultists who were retreating with a large metal cage. Troy sprinted over to him. “Raz, it’s the Reaping.”

“I know. The bloody bastards are taking prisoners,” Raz yelled, reloading his rifle. 

More cages were being hauled outside the fence and loaded into COV vehicles. Troy gave chase, using the broad side of his blade to block the barrage of gunfire. He reached the nearest cage and slashed into the cultists. So much red. Troy pulled the door off the hinges and freed the Raider recruits inside. Another cage was nearby. 

“Let me go!” cried out the voice of Octavia. Her hands swung at her captors from within the bars.

Troy made a run for it. His blood boiled. Every single one of these fuckers was going to die. Everything he saw was red. Red. With his blade raised, prepared to carve these cultists into pieces, he was blindsided with a sucker punch to the face. The blow made him stumble.

Double images swirled in Troy’s vision until he shook it off. Before him stood a familiar white haired siren, wiping away specks of his blood from her knuckles. “Well, this is annoying. I thought you’d be dead by now, but here you are chumming it up with the Crimson Traitors,” said Tyreen.

Troy’s jaws clicked shut so he could properly articulate. “Guess you’re just getting sloppy. The God Queen must be losing her touch,” he snarled and lunged at Tyreen. She easily dodged him with a sidestep, but Troy kept running past her. Octavia’s cage had been dragged outside of the fence. He could make it.

“Stop running, dear brother. Fight me!”

“What’s the matter, Ty? Can’t keep up?”

In a flash of fire, Tyreen teleported in front of him. Putting all his momentum behind it, the taller Calypso slammed his metal fist into the side of his twin’s head. Tyreen lost her footing and was thrown back several feet. Once again, he ran for the cage now being loaded into a COV vehicle. He could still make it. Troy was close enough to see the fear in those cultists’ eyes. 

An electric pain hit Troy in the back, halting him in his tracks. It spread in a fiery trail through his entire body. He gasped, pulling air into his burning lungs. Still he continued moving forward, watching the world blur through his eyelashes. 

“Do you actually care about what happens to a bunch of vault thief wannabes?” Tyreen asked, slowly approaching with purple sparks dancing around her fingertips.

Another shot of electricity ripped through his insides. Troy squeezed his eyes closed. He felt his fingernails dragging across the dirt, not remembering when he hit the ground. He forced one eye open to see the COV vehicles pulling off.

A sharp kick to Troy’s stomach lurched his guts, causing bile to rise in his throat. Tyreen grabbed a fistful of his black hair and lifted his head, forcing him to watch her follower’s vehicles speeding away. “You do care, don’t you? Which one is it, I wonder.” The siren signaled to a cambot overhead. It swooped down and displayed a projection before the two of them.

They were scenes of the party from earlier today. It cycled from the dancers around the bonfire to Troy surrounded by admirers to people laughing at the bar to… Troy involuntarily whimpered at the image. 

“Jackpot,” Tyreen smiled wickedly. The projection showed Troy and Octavia, sitting on the ground together. “She is cute. Don’t worry, Troy. I’ll take good care of her.”

With more strength than someone her size should rightfully possess, Tyreen lifted her brother by the throat with one arm. Troy gagged and clawed at the fingers closing around his airways. Her blue siren marks pulsed as she activated her powers. 

“Now, do me a favor and die this time.”

Troy struggled against the leech. His chest throbbed as his movements shifted the crystals forming inside it. He couldn’t fight, couldn’t scream. He felt his eyes water, and his arms went limp at his sides. 

I wasn’t strong enough... I’m sorry.

~~~

“Eat shit, devil bitch!”

Lieutenant Cramer’s rocket hit the Calypsos, detonating into a plume of smoke and fire. Raz was concerned for Troy due to the size of the blast, but they were out of options, and Cramer was out of patience.

A hush fell over the field. The remaining Raiders and recruits had their sights focused on the smoke cloud, unable to see the twins inside it. Raz steadied his breath aiming down his rifle’s scope. 

Suddenly, something came flying from the smoke and landed heavily on the ground in front of the Raiders. Raz’s heart sank when he noticed the lifeless form of Troy lying before him. His skin was grey and glistened with purple crystals. Raz had to resist the urge to run to him. The God Queen emerged from the dust, not showing an ounce of remorse.

“Ya know, it is too easy taking your stuff. I was hoping for something more than just a few sparks,” Tyreen brushed the dust from her jacket. “I’m starting to feel kinda bad for you, so I’ll leave you a participation trophy.” She pointed to her brother’s form in the dirt and laughed maniacally. 

“Open fire!” commanded Cramer. The air erupted with thundering gunfire. The siren was too quick. She teleported out of sight in a flash of flames.

Raz rushed to the fallen Calypso, sliding on his knees. The light of his siren marks was dead, small crystals sprouted from his body in clusters. The bearded man put an ear to the cold skin of Troy’s bare chest. A heartbeat. The son of a bitch was still alive.

“He’s alive!” Raz yelled.

Cramer spoke into his Echo, “Base to Sanctuary. Commander Lilith, the damned devil bitch herself and her cultists attacked us. Many injured, more M.I.A. and Troy’s about to find out if the Great Vault exists because he’s a few breaths away from death.”

Raz could hear Lilith’s voice from where he still knelt by Troy’s side. “Damn! We’ll get them back, don’t worry. But we can’t afford to lose Troy now.” Lilith paused. “We don’t have any other choice. Give him blood.”

Raz looked the body up and down, then spoke up, “But he hasn’t lost much blood.”

“No.” Lilith sighed into the Echo, bracing herself for what she was about to say. “He needs to drink blood. Tannis thinks... There’s no time to explain. Just do it.”

No rest for the wicked. Eh, mate? Just hold on a little longer.

[ablackmoonrises]

Hogwarts for troubled youth Chapter 1, in which Moony can’t keep a Secret

[Posting here while I’m working on it, I won’t post to Ao3 before I’ve written a couple more chapters and so on] Remus has his DID under control. As long as it’s just him and Moony, they’ll manage, and the Wolf can howl all he wants, it won’t get to Anna.

Sirius knows a thing or two about gaps in memory, but when he falls for the easy-going Moony he’s not sure if he’s prepared to deal with Moony’s moody twin Remus, much less a little girl or a violently self-injurious Wolf.

Meanwhile James just wants to start his transition already, but the autism diagnosis that helped him finally make sense of who he is, now seems to prevent the one thing he wants more than even Lily’s attention: To get on Testosterone.

“I’m not Remus.” The words leave Moony’s mouth before they have a chance to get a hold of them. They tumble out of them, spilling all over the pretty new boy with the long black hair.

“Okay?” Sirius says, a question hidden in the confirmation, and Moony wants to punch themself hard. Instead they flash a bright smile at Sirius.

Moony would have been lying if they said they weren’t interested in the new boy. He was not the typical candidate for Hogwarts, rumour had it his parents were loaded and very much still alive. The pale dark-haired boy seemed intent to blend into the shadows, a silent observer with large grey eyes, following the comings and goings of other children from dark corners.

Moony would catch themself staring, losing track of James’ incessant blabbering, as the new boy – Sirius, Moony would remind themself – made his way to a new corner.

“Well you know..” Moony says, pulling back a bit. “I just like to be called Moony. Sometimes.”

Moony had come into existence again the night prior, casually opening his phone to check his conversation with Remus.

“We got to walk the dog with the new boy tomorrow”, it read, and Moony’s heart had started to race. “If I’m not there.. please don’t fuck it up. He seems cute.”

“That’s cool,” Sirius responds, tilting his head slightly as if trying to figure out why Moony is telling him this. Moony isn’t so sure either. They walk in silence, the big black dog panting at the end of its leash. Sirius’ hand is surprisingly steady as he’s pulled along.

“So… what’s the deal with this place?” Sirius asks finally, after an extended period of silence. “What do they do?”

Moony looks at Sirius and grins, a wicked smile replacing their calm exterior for a moment. “Well – it’s mostly a place to fatten up children before feeding us to the Witch,” they explain.

Sirius looks doubtful. “a Witch?” he asks, as if that’s the part that doesn’t make sense. Moony nods enthusiastically. “Yep! Well.. I believe her official title is doctor of psychology, but I call her the Witchdoctor.”

“And she’s going to eat us?” Sirius is somehow managing to lift one eyebrow, which is impressive and infuriatingly attractive.

“Yeah – just – gobble gobble. It’s a whole thing.” Moony shrugs. “She’s gonna spit ya out again, no worries, but each time she chews out another piece of your soul.”

“Well in that case I guess I won’t stay long, it’s not like I have a soul to begin with,” Sirius says with downcast eyes.

“Well aren’t you the cheerful one..” Moony comments, turning around to walk backwards while talking. “…Anyways, I’m sure you know what this place is on paper?” they ask, and almost trip over a bush. Maybe walking backwards isn’t as elegant a manoeuvre as they had hoped.

“It’s like.. a correctional facility?” Sirius says it like a question. “Like a mix of a boarding school and an orphanage..?”

“Ding ding ding!” Moony says cheerfully. “Less correctional facility, more treatment facility, I suppose?” Moony plasters a wide grin on his face, making sure to edge it far enough to be at least mildly unnerving. “In other words.. It’s a place for crazy people!”

“But I’m not crazy,” Sirius says, sounding surprisingly calm. Most people were more adamant when defending their sanity.

“Well that’s too bad..” Moony sighs. “You know what they say? All the best people are.”

“I’m not crazy…” Sirius repeats, and there’s that delicious level of desperate insecurity that makes Moony feel better about themself. “My family’s crazy though,” he says after a while. “And they’re not exactly good people.”

Moony doesn’t have a good comeback to that, partially because Wolf starts howling in his head, and partially because… well. Dude has a point.

They take the last of the round in silence, and Moony expects that to be the end of it. There’s a weird tension building in the air all the while, and Moony isn’t sure what to make of it. They hand the fluffy therapy dog back to Hagrid, and stand in the cold January weather for a moment, as if sizing each other up.

“…You don’t speak much do you?” Moony says finally, breaking the silence. Sirius shrugs.

“I speak when I have things to say.”

Fuck, this dude’s one-liner game is on point. Moony needs to get their head in the game.

“So… Guess I’ll go back to my room.” Moony says, and something flashes through Sirius’ eyes. The boy looks almost lost for a moment.

“Are you…” Moony begins, but stops themself. Sirius shakes his head, and Moony isn’t sure what they were asking or what Sirius is responding to at this point. This’ll be fun to analyse in the wee hours..

“So if you’re bored, you can come up.” Moony says, surprising even themself. Sirius’ eyes open a tad too much, before he schools his expression back into something more neutral.

“Sure.”

Moony shares their room with a depressed gremlin, a little girl and a rampaging Wolf. Usually they would have taken this under consideration and not have invited a total stranger, but apparently it’s just one of those days. And hey! Remus did tell Moony to be nice, or something to that effect.

To his credit, Sirius does not comment on the crayons littering the floor, nor the general state of disarray in Moony and Company’s room. Moony shoves some school papers off the bed, and gestures for Sirius to take a seat.

“So uh,, are you a tea drinker?” Moony asks lamely, feeling suddenly incredibly awkward about the presence of the posh boy in his crappy room.

“Why not,” Sirius answers fluidly, and god damn it, why is this motherfucker being so smooth all of a sudden? Moony nods and turns to the small kitchen in the other end of the room. They’re quiet while the water comes to a boil, partially because Moony honestly thinks there’s a special place in hell reserved for people who try to have conversation over the sound of a kettle. Like, who even does that?

As a result the silence is long and sticky, and Moony’s brain is working on overdrive. They can feel Sirius’ eyes on their back as they pour the water into two teacups. Moony takes a deep breath before turning around. They place the two cups on the bedside table, and stand awkwardly hovering for a moment, before slamming their ass down into the bed.

-say something- flashes through Moony’s mind. -you invited him here – say something –

Moony regrets not offering Sirius something stronger than tea, to loosen the mood, but then, they don’t want to risk getting in trouble. And who knows if they can trust this new boy yet.

“Why do you prefer Moony?” Sirius asks, slicing through the silence with precision. Moony startles. Damn, that’s right, he told Sirius that.

“I just.. sometimes Moony feels more right.” They say, it’s not a lie, not exactly. “I mean.. Moony is like..” they stop. “It’s just a joke since Remus Lupin sounds pretty fucking lunar, and I am a lunatic, so..” Moony laughs, half-lies flowing easily from their tongue. Okay, so Moony doesn’t usually go around claiming their own name, since everyone hear knows them all as Remus, but so what? No harm, no foul.

Moony is desperate to not be Remus.

“You keep referencing being insane,” Sirius says. “What’s that all about?”

Direct. Moony can appreciate that. But then, most people don’t ask and for a moment Moony is struggling.

“Oh you know.. the usual. When I was in the loony bin they called me loony loopy lupin, if that tells you anything..” they laugh. “You know, just… I have….” They stop, biting their lip for a second, feeling suddenly unsure how to proceed. Only James and some staff knows about their DID, and Remus is going to kill them all if Moony lets it slip to this practical stranger.

Maybe it’s Sirius’ calm inquisitory gaze. Maybe it’s the joint Moony smoked before going on their walk. Maybe … Just maybe.. Moony is getting pretty fucking tired of living the life of someone else.

“Okay so.. I basically have. Or I am. Yeah. I’m like…” Moony is aware they’re rambling, but they can’t stop themself. They’re starting to feel distant as the world starts to fade around them.

They come back to themself, realizing with horror that they’re still talking. “….so yea that’s like I’m the keykeeper and the princess is in the castle and Remus is the gate but he can’t open without the key and..” Moony stops abruptly, staring ahead of themself. “What?”

Sirius is looking somewhere between concerned and confused. Fuck. Moony hates when this happens. Also if they’re starting to black out, chances are Remus will be back soon, or worse, someone else. Time to get the witness out of there.

“…Right.” Sirius says, tilting his head. Moony hopes his darker skin-color hides his blush.

“So you said this princess is guarded by the big bad wolf,” Sirius says and Moony inwardly flinches as the Wolf starts clawing at its prison.  “But if the princess is guarded by a wolf, why do you need to have a key?”

“Uh…” Moony says, desperately trying to remember and make sense of whatever conversation they must have been having. After a moment they give up and let out a big sigh.

“Look mate,” Moony says. “This is gonna sound pretty fucking stupid, but if you wanna spend any amount of time with me you gotta know that I have an… incredibly shit memory.” They shrug in what they hope is a nonchalant manner. “I kind of blanked out on that whole conversation.. So your guess is as good as mine.”

Sirius nods thoughtfully. “Ok Moony,” he says. Then, terrifyingly, he adds: “How will I know when I meet Remus?” Moony’s eyes widen, and they almost drop the teacup they hadn’t been aware they were holding.

“Re-Remus..?” they ask. Fuck. They’ve really done it now. Moony is starting to sweat with panic. “I-I’m Remus..” The wolf is going to kill me – the wolf is going to kill me – the wolf is – no one can know – no one can know – our secret – our secret – secret – you are the gatekeeper; act it!

“Moony – “ Sirius is way too close now, he’s practically crowding them, and Moony wants to push him away but instead they just flinch and crawl awkwardly back unto the bed. The last of the tea drips into the sheets from the discarded cup.

- Anna stares at the stranger with the black hair and apologetic look on his face. She’s in a bed, something warm has soaked through her pants and the stranger is backing away, but she’s no fool and she’s going to scream bloody murder and –

Remus tends to blink into existence at the most inopportune moments. This time he comes to with a deep-seated sense of dread, like something is seriously wrong. For a moment he thinks he might be wrong. He’s just in bed, but it doesn’t take long for the unease to settle completely over him, as he recognizes the teacup bleeding into the bed. He looks up, and there, by the door, hangs a dark blue scarf. He’s seen this scarf before. It belongs to the cute new guy, Sirius. Remus pushes himself out of bed, his body is hurting in a dull ache that tells him Moony hasn’t been as careful with it as he ought to be. Not like Remus minds too much, the pain is just another reminder of his broken fucked up life.

Moony hasn’t left any notes, and Remus’ only clue is the blue scarf that hangs on the bed, and a low growl in his inner ear.

Whatever happened… the Wolf is not pleased.