#without society's expectations changing it and without someone else's expectations changing it

[gogandmagog]

Rilla of Ingleside, Chapter 5.

First of allllll, I adore this lush and scenic opener, where Rilla is taking herself down to Rainbow Valley, and is staring unseeingly at the “dazzling blue sky of the August afternoon – so blue, so peaceful, so unchanged,” because the use of ‘unchanged’ is so deliberately antithetical to our newly very much changed Rilla, having shed her first self. I know it doesn’t come around until a little later in this book, but I am thinking here of one the (imo) ‘very best of’ lines of Mauds, “The body grows slowly and steadily but the soul grows by leaps and bounds.” 🥹🥹🥹

“When our women fail in courage,  Shall our men be fearless still?”    Well, here Anne is quoting Kate Tucker Goode’s poem, published in 1914, called “Calebs Daughter,” which is itself, of course, based on scripture, and it is peeerfectly coupled up with Rilla (and Anne) refusing to cry. Achsah (that’s Calebs daughter btw) of the bible is herself married to a godly man, who answers ‘the call’ to arms and goes to war, leaving Achsah waiting for his return. She does so with remarkable courage and faith. And soooo, with that in mind, and with Kate Tucker Goode’s poem openly referencing Achsah, a true example of summoned faith, we arrive at this first spot in this novel, which becomes a whole little theme in this novel... that part (maybe even a large part) of ‘the call’ upon women starts with the stoic-like commanding their own emotions, and that by so doing, they really help their loved ones in the service. 

ALSO and basically reiterating that the Blythe boys are meant to represent The Big Three different types of soldiers, is the way they even each individually approach their parents about enlisting. Hyyyyyped Jem doesn’t even ask, so much as tell, which I find immensely interesting when compared to sweet Shirley, who later does pointedly seek a blessing from Anne and Gilbert – despite ofc 18-year-old boys not requiring parental consent. (No need to mention poor Walter’s reluctance, 🥲.) 

Anne, eyes filled with “imploring anguish” says sooo much. Imploring, by definition = asking someone to please do something, and Gilbert reads the meaning of this look effortlessly, but in this situation and as with the recalling of the tragedy around Joyce, what can be done, indeed? I really start thinking of Maud’s own journal entries in this area, because when the war began unfolding around her and her community, and there was an irrefutable aura of tragedy and loss impending, she too began to reflect on the loss of her stillborn son Hugh. I won’t insert any quotes here though, like I’m sure everyone’s already depressed enough lmao. ): 

Gilbert and Rev. Meredith’s construction of a “patriotic society” is laksdflkasjfdlkaj, eternally endearing and stunningly insightful in terms of anticipating community needs. The scholars (as cited in the book of essays titled “L.M. Montgomery and War”, I can dig up which one exactly drew this conclusion is anyone caaares) have concluded that this is a fictional representative of the irl Candian Patriotic Fund, which was a brand new organisation (est. Aug. 1914), one that generated funds and manpower and provided social support, designed to help soldiers' wives and children (or any other dependent) that were left behind (sometimes without adequate provision). This meant anything from you directly donating funds, or even you offering your sparable manpower with like, a teenager willing and able to chop wood for the husbandless neighbor... oooor maybe if you’re a physician, you’re all in for providing free medical care (something we can cite good old Dr. Blythe with, in TBAQ, although tbh in this instance it is to do with low income families). I really, really love this. And it’s something so huge, communicated in such an easily passable line! 

Okay, what else? ALSO, that one line about Faith and Anne’s smiles chillssss me, because “a little stiff and starched,” reads exactly like you’d obviously expect from clothing. Or even, should we say... a uniform. Jem and Jerry are in theirs. So are Faith and Anne. 🥹 Stop it.

MUCH 2 say about Walter and Gilbert, and I’ll add/reblog to this a little later (looking for a particular cross reference), unlessaas I can hunt up someone else’s post to piggyback on. 🤡

[knifearo]

everybody! quick! tell me what aro joy means to you <2

[keferon]

Part 2 of Golem!Prowl AU!

_____________________

“I hate it,” Orion sighs.

“It's understandable. But you can't change the system from the inside without becoming part of it first.”

“I was hoping I could become part of it without becoming a murderer.”

“It's okay” says Prowl ”You don't have to. That's what you have me for.”

Orion twitches.

Part 1. Next->

The fic under the cut⤵️

Orion looks...sick. Worried. Scared.

“Prowl, do you know what the Great Hunt is?”

Prowl tilts his head keeping up with the lists he received from the Council.

“Traditional raids on monsters made to consolidate control over the land holdings of regular Mechs.”

Orion rubs the bridge of his nose

“It's a massacre.”

Prowl twitches his wing.

“It is a measure of intimidation against creatures that cannot be negotiated with. Brutal, I don't deny that, but experience shows it works. The destructive activity of monsters lessens considerably if they know their actions can be followed by punishment.”

Orion stares at him. For a long time. Silently.

Tensely studying him, as if seeing him for the first time.

“You think killing them instead of finding a compromise is...right?”

Prowl thinks he must be treading on unstable ground.

“I think it works. That is all. Monsters do a lot of damage with their existence. They kill, destroy and pillage. If periodically reducing their numbers reduces their damage, it confirms the effectiveness of the strategy.”

“They just want to live. Primus' sake, they want to eat.”

Prowl sighs. More for appearances than for any real effect.

“I suppose I can't judge them for wanting to survive. It makes sense.”

Orion nods.

He looks oddly pensive.

“Ratchet keeps picking up wounded...” he stammers, apparently trying to find a suitable alternative to the word monster “...wounded beastformers. I've been to his house. It's generous, but I'm afraid of what will happen if he gets caught doing it.”

Prowl frowns

“He should have stopped.”

“You wouldn't understand.” sighs Orion ”Him. Shockwave. We want to help. To make things better. I don't need you to chide me for disobeying the rules, I need you to figure out how to change them. Ghosts and insecticons deserve freedom as much as we do.”

“But...”

Orion looks at him angrily.

“No. Whatever you're going to say in response to that. No. I know you're driven primarily by logic, but I need you to remember it well. All sentient beings deserve to live free. Do you understand? All of them. Period.”

Prowl rolls up the lists and interlocks his fingers in front of him. There are small scuffs on his thumbs and index fingers from constant writing. He occupies himself with running his fingers over them, feeling the difference in texture.

“Mech's freedom in such a case ends where someone else's hungry jaws begin. You can't expect monsters and Mechs to just coexist in peace if you give them freedom.”

“No” sighed Orion ”That's why I support Shockwave's idea with creating an academy for magically gifted Mechs. He's helping to show the world that so-called 'dark creatures' can be as civilized citizens as any Mech. He teaches them to find that compromise. We can't just expect centuries of hate and fear to be forgotten once the laws change. We must direct this process. To help the Mechs understand and accept each other. Guide them, you might say.”

Prowl feels a headache coming on, as it always does when Orion requires him to logically solve a problem the answer to which lies in the feelings rather than the intellect. He's not built for this. It irritates him.

Orion stops right in front of him and puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Tell me what you think of this. If...let's pretend for a second that my morality fiddles don't matter anymore. That the problem of Mechs and monsters coexisting is something you alone need to solve. And solve it in such a way that the outcome is optimal for us as a society. To maximize the number of happy citizens. What would you do?”

Prowl is silent for a moment.

Orion squeezes his shoulder lightly before continuing.

“'Free from my judgmental conclusions, Prowl. From the standpoint of pure logic. What should we do?”

What to do...Prowl's thought process finally finds a direct and understandable train of thought. Monsters make up a paltry few percent of the population of all living Mechs. The numbers fluctuate depending on which region is being considered of course.

In some cities, some types of monsters are considered just fancy Mechs. Some monsters have risen from the status of savages to being respectable Mechs over the course of history. Even Orion's best friend, Shockwave, could be regarded as a mystical creature in some regions due to his gift of flight.

Nevertheless. The percentage is still minuscule.

But even that tiny percentage takes a significant toll on the economy and quality of life, because just one uncontrollable creature can terrorize an entire city.

He notes the weight of Orion's hand on his shoulder. Not judgmental. Orion promised he wouldn't judge.

“I'd get rid of the monsters.”

“Oh” Orion blinks ”Locked them in cages? Chased them away? Killed them?”

Prowl twitches his wings

“Banishment will only move the problem in terms of space, and imprisonment isn't secure enough. It would make sense to get rid of the monsters. Once and for all. It wouldn't be pretty or merciful, but it would greatly improve life for everyone, at the cost of a tiny percentage of living beings who were already of no use.”

“And you believe that would be a good outcome?”

“I believe it would.”

“But you're not a Mech yourself.” Orion reminds “Would you be willing to be exterminated along with the rest of the creatures if your plan were put into action?”

Prowl tilts his head slightly. Just to make it easier to look at Orion.

“You created me to, as you put it, help you make the world a better place. Sometimes in order to improve something you have to cut out the factors that get in the way. It's simple logic.”

“You didn't answer my question” Orion points out ”How would you feel if I decided to take your advice and destroy all mystical creatures, including you?”

“I am not made to feel” straightens Prowl ”My job is to find solutions to problems. I gave you a solution.”

“You don't include yourself in the reckoning.” snorts Orion “Again. You talk as if you will never be affected by anything.”

As it should be, Prowl thinks. He's a conscientious worker and a ..seemingly law-abiding citizen. He does what he can to make Mech's lives better. Even though he may not be a Mech, he's doing the right thing. Why would something happen to him?

Orion removes his hand from his shoulder and shakes his head.

“'Alright. I've heard you. But I want to make it as clear as possible - what you suggested is immoral, cruel, and should never be implemented. Do you understand me? Never. If you want to build a better world, you cannot and will not build it on other people's deaths. Have I made myself clear enough?”

“Perfectly clear.”

“Good.”

-----------------

Ratchet looks...many words could be used to describe him.

He's standing in the center of the trial room with a lot of emotions written all over his face. But if Prowl had to describe - he'd say Ratchet practically radiates rage. Not violent. More of a powerless one.

The rage of a Mech who knows he's cornered, but refuses to even consider giving up and admitting defeat.

Prowl sits in a far dark corner, silently documenting the whole process.

The council is furious. They apparently discovered that Ratchet has been dragging wounded monsters to his house and healing them all this time.

Which is ... very much as expected from Ratchet.

Prowl wants Orion here, but both Orion and Shockwave are now on a diplomatic mission a few days away, so the only support Ratchet has is...Prowl. Who can't help in any way, so he just sits there and meticulously documents the whole process so that Orion can then be informed of every single detail.

The council doesn't look happy. They say that Ratchet is sabotaging the hunters' efforts to contain the monsters by his actions.They are angered by Ratchet's absolute determination to insist that he was doing the right thing.

Prowl would be impressed, if only Ratchet's stubbornness made sense.

It's simple math. Ratchet saves lives. Monsters take them.

Thus Ratchet's life has much, much more weight and is more valuable.

If Ratchet would just accept the Council's decision now and promise to stop curing monsters, the whole problem would be solved as efficiently as possible.

But Ratchet, of course, persists. Probably just because that's his nature.

Ratchet can also afford to be so stubborn because his skill level makes him incredibly valuable to the Council. Prowl knows for a fact that if any other medic were in Ratchet's shoes right now - they would have been sentenced to banishment or execution by now.

When Ratchet realizes exactly how the Council caught him, his rage is instantly replaced by shock.

This revelation is enough to startle him and make him back down. To nod and numbly swear that he will end his "blasphemous hobby."

Prowl carefully folds the scribbled scrolls into the case as the Council doors close behind both his and Ratchet's backs.

“Orion will be happy to know that you were prudent enough to avoid death.”

Ratchet shifts his gaze to him

“You knew? Knew they could see through our optics? Did you know they could find out anything about any Mech at any time?”

Prowl tucks his hands behind his back and nods politely

“Knowing things is my job.”

Ratchet sighs. Heavy. Exhausted. Doomed maybe.

“How does Orion deal with it...”

“Orion has a reputation with the Council. They consider him a decent, law-abiding Mech, so they see no point in keeping tabs on him.”

“Are you kidding?” Raetchet raises his eyebrows “Orion can't do everything he does and remain ‘decent’ in their eyes. He and Shockwave practically cuddle with every possible creature every day and all they get is a little reprimand????”

Prowl tilts his head

“Orion learned to look away in time. And he has me for everything else.”

Ratchet doesn't answer him. He rubs the bridge of his nose tiredly and starts to walk away.

His shoulders look oddly tense. He looks defeated, but not in the way a Mech would describe a slain turbofox. No. There is a deep-seated, angry determination.

A willingness to act dictated by desperation.

The news of the surveillance has thrown Ratchet off balance but not knocked him off his feet as the Council had hoped.

Prowl looks at his back and walks off in the opposite direction. The problems of living, feeling Mechs have always been and will always be mysterious to him.

Ratchet does what no one expects him to do.

He doesn't stage protests. He doesn't accept the verdict.

He leaves silently, taking with him only medical supplies and an old lantern.

The council is furious, turning over every stone in an attempt to find him, but all in vain.

Prowl's daily duties now include “keeping track of any possible news related to Ratchet.“

And then, no matter what he finds, report to Orion that he's found nothing.

Put on a little regular show for all concerned. Show the Mechs in the Council that Orion remains loyal and does his best to find and bring to justice any blasphemer whether it's a friend of his or not.

He is his purpose. But the more time passes, the harder it becomes for him to trace the path to the fulfillment of that purpose. He envies the golems whose only function is to scrub floors. Their lives are understandable. A clean floor is a temporary but easily attainable goal. They are happy to fulfill the goal for which they were created. And then they're happy knowing their job is done well, until the floor gets dirty again.

Prowl is walking towards his goal, but it's not getting any closer. He knows what he needs to do to get there, but the variables are constantly changing and he has to adjust his course of action each time according to new information, conditions, and Orion's opinion on them.

Politics is infinitely more complicated than mopping floors after all.

————————————

Orion doesn't turn around on him as they walk down the hall. But Prowl can physically feel the attention focused on him.

“Prowl. Did you know I was awarded today for my ''outstanding service'' by the entire Council?”

“I did not.

“They've gone through all the reports and discovered that according to the logs me and my mechs are performing excellently when it comes to eliminating mystical threats.”

“Congratulations.”

“It's funny that you feel the need to congratulate me too” Orion continues ”Because I certainly didn't give orders to eliminate anyone.”

Their pacing doesn't falter. They continue to walk calmly down the hallway as if nothing is happening. But Prowl can practically taste the increased tension.

“Prowl” says Orion “Why is the Council rewarding me for murder? And where are the Mechs they think I killed now?”

Prowl checks the scrolls. Not because he doesn't remember. Just to buy some time to formulate an answer.

“They were the inevitable casualties. I took charge of their destruction. On your behalf.”

“You know how I feel about killing.”

“I know.” nods Prowl for some reason. Why? Not that Orion can see it “I also know how the Council feels about Mechs showing suspicious activity. They would have started watching you as soon as they noticed you were letting monsters slip away from you suspiciously often.”

Orion...sounds... conflicted. He sounds struggling.

“You killed them.”

“I gave the order. As any other hunter would have done in my place.”

Orion stops so abruptly that Prowl doesn't catch the moment and bumps into his back.

“We're supposed to be better than other hunters Prowl! How can you still not grasp that concept!!!”

Orion looks furious. Prowl discreetly looks around.

Around them is a relatively empty hall. Windows covered by heavy curtains. The cleaning golems scurrying back and forth.

“I understand” he says “But let me remind you that you cannot test their trust infinitely. Your 'being better' rests on your reputation. And it's my job to make sure your reputation lives up to it.”

Orion looks at him...Prowl isn't even sure how to describe it. Usually he has to argue with Orion's logic, proving his point but this time...Orion is the one arguing with him.

It feels strange. Uncomfortable.

He's doing everything Orion wanted him to do, but for the sake of it he has to do something Orion can't stand.

Orion clenches and unclenches his fists helplessly. Rubbing the fabric of his cloak.

“Shockwave can save lives without killing anyone.”

“Shockwave is one unfortunate act away from serious consequences” shakes his head Prowl “His academy is looking more and more like his own small army every day. His students are not loyal to the Council, they are loyal to Shockwave. And the Council knows that. And will use it. And it won't be pretty when it happens.”

“No...” shakes his head Orion, not addressing anyone in particular ”No no no no no...”

Prowl can understand why Orion is upset. But he also knows he's right this time. Shockwave may look like a fine example of mercy, but he walks on the very edge of the law and any wrong move will instantly turn him from “out of the box thinker” to renegade.

The Council will come for his head and the Council will get his head because Shockwave will have nothing to prove his loyalty with.

Orion will. Prowl made sure of that.

Orion can bend the rules, can borrow the Council's trust, can do all sorts of reprehensible things. He can stumble and fall and then fall a couple more times and find that it doesn't hurt him because Prowl caught him even before he stumbled.

He did it at the cost of lives. Yes.

But Orion's life is far more valuable than the lives of monsters.

Society doesn't need monsters to become better, but society needs Orion. Monsters need Orion. Because if Orion is gone, no one else will care about his idealistic goal.

“Sometimes I forget how creepy you can be...” mutters Orion ”You're going to betray me sooner or later.”

“I could never betray you.” Prowl twitches his wing.

“You've successfully betrayed what I believe in.”

“It's fine with me if you hate me for it. As long as you are alive, safe, and can continue your quest.”

Orion falls silent.

He turns away to stare at a strip of light from a nearby window. There are beautiful, wrought iron grates that cast an intricate, curved shadow on the floor and walls.

A golem janitor hurries past them.

“I hate it,” Orion sighs.

“It's understandable. But you can't change the system from the inside without becoming part of it first.”

“I was hoping I could become part of it without becoming a murderer.”

“It's okay” says Prowl ”You don't have to. That's what you have me for.”

Orion twitches.

Shockwave falls.

Prowl isn't there to see for himself, but a lot of rumors reach him. Lots. Lots of rumors.

The Mechs say the time of the Great Hunt has come.

They say that when the hunters arrived on the Academy's doorstep, Shockwave didn't let them in.

They say. He stood in front of the gates.

With sword in one hand and the Primus Covenant in the other, and declared that his school was a sanctuary for all living beings in need of protection.

Claimed that anyone who dared set foot inside with a weapon would have to go through him.

“And they retreated!” gestures Orion frantically ”They didn't dare test him! They backed away from the walls of the Academy. I don't know how many monsters were left alive in the forests that night, but none of Shockwave's students were harmed...”

Prowl listens with a healthy dose of wariness

“The Council wouldn't just let him do that.”

Orion begins nervously winding circles around the room.

“You're right, you're right. You're right now and you were right back then. They're going to bring him before the Court by tomorrow, and...”

“There's no chance of that ending well,...is there?" Prowl finishes his thought.

Orion looks pained

“They'll be going through everything he's been up to. Every forged document, every enrolled Mech who by all criteria should be considered a monster. Every time he sheltered them from the Council instead of destroying them. They'll realize what he's been doing and they won't like it at all.”

Prowl...trying to sound reassuring.

“Shockwave has tremendous support from his Academy. There's a chance the Council will be afraid of invoking their wrath and won't judge Shockwave too harshly.”

Orion continues to walk in circles

“You think so?”

“There is a good chance.”

Prowl finds Orion in Sickbay. Which is very disturbing and wrong, because Orion was supposed to be at the Trial. Supporting Shockwave and begging the Council to relent.

But Orion is in Sick Bay. When he shouldn't be.

And he's covered in ugly dark burns. From something Prowl can't recognize.

This is all wrong. It's all--

“What happened at the trial?”

Orion sounds. Startled.

“There was no Trial.”

“What?”

Orion sounds as if something inside him has cracked. In every sense of the phrase.

“The Trial hasn't even had time to begin. He...” Orion clutches his trembling fingers, hoping to still them, but it has no tangible effect. His shoulders are trembling.

He looks like his whole body could be torn apart with one careless touch. “They asked him if he would plead guilty to aiding and abetting dark creatures. All they had time to ask was if he realized he was wrong.”

An uncomfortable, prickly feeling settles in Prowl's mind.

"And?”

Orion squeezes his fingers so hard the creaking of hinges becomes audible.

“It...I...Prowl, his very spark began to ooze dark magic. It was horrible, it was like.. it was eating him from the inside. The entire courtroom became darker than night, many Mechs got burned. I've never seen anything like this before! He..It.. started attacking Mechs and destroying everything...it was like it went crazy...it attacked me and I had to...Prowl I had to fight it! I didn't...I'd heard about it happening but I believed until the last minute that I wouldn't have to face it...”

Gears of chaotic detail fall into place in Prowl's mind.

“Shockwave...turned into a demon...?”

Orion nods shakily

“The Council didn't even have a chance to sentence him or spare him or even sort out what happened.....

He stated that he did not consider himself guilty for what he had done and...Primus was the one who made the judgment before anyone else could...”

That's... terrifying really. For a number of reasons. Losing a close friend is awful, being subjected to such merciless punishment is awful, but also...

What sends a chill down Prowl's back is the moral implication that such punishment carries.

Orion, as if reading his thoughts, raises his gaze to him

“Is what we are doing...wrong? I don't...does Primus think helping monsters is worthy of punishment?”

Now that's a really reasonable question.

Shockwave would say that Primus is merciful and would never condemn a Mech for an act of kindness. But Shockwave ended up being condemned.

Ratchet would say that he doesn't care about Primus' opinion because Primus isn't real. But Ratchet isn't here.

Prowl wants to say that it doesn't matter whether or not Primus thinks they're wrong, what matters is that he can at any moment force his justice on any living spark, so his concept of right has to become Orion's too, or else he's doomed. But Orion is definitely in no state to have a philosophical argument. He looks shattered and Prowl almost instinctively is about to go and find Shockwave, but remembers that option is no longer available.

He's not made for this. Shockwave has always been the one to cheer Orion up on a bad day. Not Prowl, no. Prowl isn't sure what to do so he just sits down next to him and gently places a hand on Orion's shoulder. The one where he can't see the burns, so it shouldn't hurt.

“I don't. I'm used to always relying on your point of view as a reference for what's right and what's wrong.”

“I know” runs a shaky hand over his face Orion “But it's not like I'm perfect. I try, god, I try but just like with the logical part - my vision isn't flawless. Have I been...wrong all this time? Trying to disrupt Primus' intended vision? Maybe what I've been trying to fix never needed fixing. Maybe it's just me being so stupid and not understanding things maybe...???”

Orion cuts himself off mid sentence, realizing that he's started raising his voice and waving his arms around again. He sits back down on the medical bed and curls back up into a miserable ball.

“What should I do....”

“I don't know,” Prowl repeats awkwardly.

He is his goal. But his goal ..doesn't exist anymore?

He doesn't know where to put himself.

Golems are made to fulfill requests. But Orion's request system has been evolving and complicating for so long that Prowl can't tell where its boundaries are anymore.

He feels lost.

——————————

Orion stops cold.

“What...”

Prowl, standing at his right hand looks equally puzzled.

They are in a spacious courtyard bordering directly on the Council building. It's a very beautiful, open and spacious place because it was originally built with large crowds of Mechs in mind. There's wide walkways, a massive circular plaza with fountains and statues.

And right now, it's filled to the brim with Mechs, most of whom Prowl is seeing for the first time. They're all wearing knight armor and carrying weapons, however still kept in their scabbards.

They look like a small army. A very, very diverse army, Prowl realizes. Because there are almost no regular Mechs among them.

Orion looks... distraught.

Mechs? Monsters? A few knights separate and come closer, bowing their heads respectfully.

“Orion Pax.”

There is so much grief and disbelief in Orion's eyes that it physically hurts to look at him.

When he begins to speak his voice sounds hoarse, like someone has poured sand down his throat.

“What...what are you doing here...?”

The knight standing in front of everyone ceremoniously places his palm on his spark.

“We are here to fulfill the last will of our mentor and your friend. Shockwave has decreed in his last will that in the event of his death his legacy must pass to you and those of us who wish to carry on his work must publicly pledge our allegiance to your will.”

Orion clutches his hands together to keep them from starting to shake again.

“But...I was there. I...your mentor was slain by my hands...how can you..."

"It doesn't matter. Everything that was his is now yours." smiles the knight sadly "We will make sure his legacy lives on. And even if the Academy falls - you can always count on us."

At the same time as he finishes speaking, the knight in blue armor drops to one knee, pulling Shockwave's sword from its sheath and holding it out respectfully to Orion... who looks like he's about to start crying.

He dazedly accepts the sword, twitching in surprise when it turns out to be heavier than expected and probably tries to say something, but all that comes out is a short sorrowful sigh.

He just.

Clutches the sword to his chest, watching in disbelief as all the arriving mechs get down on one knee following the blue knight. There aren't that many mechs, but at this point - they seem to rival the sea.

Prowl knows some of them. Many of them made their way to Shockwave after Orion found them. There's the harpy over there who nearly ripped Orion's head off the first time they met. A few ghosts he can remember the faces of but doesn't know the names. He'd had a long argument with Orion that day, trying to convince him that he shouldn't take their word for it when they promised to make it up to him.

And now they're all here. In beautiful new armor. Executing their mentor's last will and testament.

Just like regular Mechs, only a little eccentric looking.

The crowd of hunters that has come to find out what's going on looks as speechless and dumbfounded as Orion.

" What" Orion also gets down on one knee to be on the same level as the knight "what's your name?"

Prowl squints warily from behind Orion's shoulder. The blue mech looks normal, but to be honest, there's no way someone coming out of the Shockwave Academy is going to be an normal plain mech. There has to be a catch somewhere.

"My name is Skids," smiles the knight shyly. "I am...was...Shockwave's best student."

"You are very brave Skids" smiles Orion sorrowfully "I promise to do my best to take care of Shockwave's legacy. And you."

Orion drops his head on the table tiredly.

"This is crazy..."

Prowl pulls an important document from under Orion's head

"It's also quite devious. Shockwave told them specifically to swear to you where all comers can see it. So there's no way for the Council to accuse you of purposely swaying an army of monsters to your side. Everyone saw that this gift was given by force. Now you have many allies with unique skills who are loyal to you and the Council won't try to take them away because they are firmly convinced that you are loyal to the Council."

Prowl examines the document for damage before setting it aside.

"It is..."

"Shockwave gave you an opportunity."

"And I don't know what to do with it!" raises his head Orion "Shockwave was smarter than me and made a lot of plans in case of...I don't know...anything?? I didn't...Prowl. We've been down this path for so long and I was always sure there would be something good at the end of it. Or at least better than it is now..."

Orion rubs his chin and shakes his head awkwardly

"...But if there's only the wrath of Primus and endless darkness at the end...I can't ask anyone to follow me there. I'm not sure if I can keep going myself..."

He sighs helplessly

"I'm not even sure if that even matters."

"The chance that Shockwave would try to use you in some way was about twenty-eight percent."

Orion twitches

"What?"

"I understand that you're hurt by his...fate." Says Prowl "But have you considered the possibility that Shockwave was being punished for betraying you rather than the Council?"

Orion doesn't even answer at first. Just looks at him dazed and bitter.

"Prowl...no. He couldn't have."

"I'm just speculating" shrugs Prowl "Shockwave was punished but as far as I know God didn't bother to name the exact charge. We don't know one hundred percent what exactly caused his...sentence. He may have betrayed the Council's ideas, or he may have betrayed yours."

They both just exist in silence for a while. Processing the information.

"If...and I mean if!!! If Shockwave was convicted of harboring monsters, then everything we've been doing all this time can be considered useless blasphemy..." says Orion slowly "...but if he was punished for something else..."

"...then that would mean there's nothing wrong with your idea." finishes Prowl.

Orion frowns

"It would also mean that Shockwave lied to me..."

Prowl nods. The situation is ugly no matter which way you look at it.

Shockwave, as Prowl knows him, would hardly have framed Orion, but Mechs tend to go to great lengths to avoid execution.

If Shockwave had shifted some of the blame to Orion then, it would have partially saved him. Was that what he was going to do? Was this what Primus had stopped him from doing?

Orion's finials twitch slowly

"I don't know Prowl. I don't know what to do. I don't want anyone else to get hurt because of my fantasies."

Orion is hard to read, but right now he's an open book.

Prowl tilts his head

"You're scared."

Orion looks. Defeated. Crumpled.

Discolored.

" I am."

Prowl can't work with that. He's used to solving logical problems and making lists and strategies.

He doesn't know how to get someone to stop being scared.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I don't know." mutters Orion "I don't know, I have no idea. It's too much...All these new knights, this whole council situation and now you're also saying that the mech I treasured the most could actually be a liar and...just leave me alone."

"But..."

"Just go away!" shakes his head Orion "Go find something else to do, find a hobby, I don't know! Get out of my head and out of my personal life!"

Prowl nods silently.

Places a couple papers in their places and silently walks out the door.

Gestures a greeting to some mech passing by.

And is completely unsure of what to do with himself.

Orion's too stunned by everything that's happened to give him a clear purpose. And without a purpose, he...he's gone.

He continues to stand by the closed door.

A thought runs obsessively through his mind.

If Shockwave was sentenced for something no one knew about, then punishing him the moment of that trial was a truly terrible decision and even worse timing.

But if Shockwave was sentenced for helping monsters...Prowl isn't sure why his mind resists the idea.

Maybe he's not being objective because he shares Orion's views and aspirations.

Maybe because he has looked at the entire square filled with dangerous monsters and has seen nothing but sorrow and respect in them.

The idea comes naturally.

Then God must be wrong.

He looks at the cleaning golems again. He envies them.

They are peace and contentment.

They are a clear and simple goal.

Probably the biggest stress that happens to them is random mechs passing by and interfering with their cleaning.

And then there's Prowl, standing by with no meaning or purpose and wishing he could throw something heavy because the one who gets in his way is an indefinable force of nature and a complex system of values and beliefs created by millions of years of cultural development....

But Primus can't stop him, can he?

Prowl is not alive. He has no emotion so that his intentions can be categorized as evil, but more importantly he has no spark so that its magic can turn him into a demon.

He is his purpose. His purpose is his god. And Primus stands in his way.

He turns around and walks away.

[daydreamingoveracupofcoffee]

Headcanons Shota Aizawa (Eraser Head) falls in love:

Characteristics:

Shota Aizawa, known as Eraser Head, is a stoic, pragmatic, and disciplined pro hero with a no-nonsense attitude. His personality is grounded in logic, and he values efficiency and responsibility, often appearing detached or gruff. If Aizawa were to fall in love, his behavior and emotional journey would likely reflect his core traits while revealing a softer, more vulnerable side that aligns with his understated but deeply caring nature.

Falling in Love:

- Aizawa is not someone who seeks romance or is easily swayed by emotions. Falling in love would likely catch him off guard, and his initial reaction would be one of resistance or denial. He might rationalize his feelings as a distraction from his duties as a hero and teacher, given his strong sense of responsibility toward his students at U.A. High and his role in protecting society.

- Aizawa would wrestle with his feelings, questioning whether pursuing love is practical or worth the risk. His logical mind might analyze the situation excessively, weighing the pros and cons of opening up emotionally.

“This is irrational. I don’t have time for this.”

- Despite his attempts to suppress his feelings, small changes in his behavior would betray him. He might linger a bit longer when talking to the person, show a rare flicker of concern for their safety, or catch himself staring before quickly looking away with his usual deadpan expression.

- Aizawa’s trust issues and reserved demeanor mean he wouldn’t confess his feelings easily. He’d observe the person closely, assessing their character and compatibility while keeping his emotions tightly under wraps.

How He Expresses Love:

- Once Aizawa acknowledges his feelings, his approach to love would be understated, practical, and rooted in actions rather than words. He’s not the type for grand romantic gestures or flowery declarations—his love would manifest in quiet, meaningful ways that reflect his protective and selfless nature.

- Aizawa’s hero instincts would amplify his desire to keep his loved one safe. He might subtly check on their well-being, offer practical advice (e.g., “You should carry a weapon if you’re out late”), or use his connections to ensure they’re not in harm’s way. If they’re a hero, he’d be hyper-vigilant about their safety during missions, though he’d try to mask it as professional concern.

- Aizawa would show affection through small, thoughtful actions. For example, he might bring them coffee when they’re tired, fix something broken in their home, or quietly handle a problem they’re facing without making a fuss. These gestures would be his way of saying, “I care,” without needing to verbalize it.

- In private moments, Aizawa might let his guard down, revealing a softer side. He could share a dry joke, offer a tired smile, or talk about his students with a warmth that hints at his capacity for deep care. These moments would be fleeting but significant, as he rarely opens up to anyone.

- Aizawa would be uncomfortable with public displays of affection. If he’s with his partner in public, he might stand closer than usual or brush their hand subtly, but anything more would feel excessive to him. In private, he’d be more physically affectionate, like resting his head on their shoulder when exhausted or pulling them into a quiet embrace.

Confession:

- Aizawa’s confession would likely be spontaneous, prompted by a high-stakes moment—like after a dangerous mission where he or his love interest nearly gets hurt. He’d blurt it out in a quiet, gruff tone, “I can’t keep pretending I don’t care about you.” He’d immediately look away, embarrassed by his own vulnerability.

- He’d choose a low-key, private moment for his confession, perhaps during a late-night conversation at U.A. or while sharing coffee in the teachers’ lounge. The setting would be casual, with no one else around, as he’d hate the idea of an audience.

“You’re… important to me. More than I expected.”

- True to his no-nonsense nature, Aizawa wouldn’t use flowery words. His confession would be direct, almost practical: “I’ve been thinking about you too much. It’s not just respect. It’s more.” His eyes, usually half-lidded with exhaustion, would hold a rare intensity, showing how much he means it.

- Aizawa would struggle with physical expression. He might start to reach for their hand or shoulder but pull back, settling for a lingering gaze instead. If he’s feeling bold, he might brush a strand of hair from their face.

- After confessing, he’d fall silent, waiting for their response with a mix of dread and hope. If they reciprocate, he’d let out a soft exhale, almost like he’s been holding his breath.

“Good. That’s… good.”

Challenges in Love:

- As a pro hero and teacher, Aizawa’s schedule is grueling. Late-night patrols, grading papers, and training his students leave little time for a personal life. His partner would need to be understanding and independent, as he’d struggle to balance his duties with a relationship.

- Aizawa’s reserved nature makes it hard for him to express his feelings openly. His partner might feel frustrated by his tendency to bottle up emotions or deflect personal questions with sarcasm or silence. It would take patience and persistence to break through his defenses.

- Given the dangers of his job and the losses he’s likely witnessed, Aizawa might fear getting too close to someone, worried they could be targeted by villains or hurt because of his hero work. This fear could make him hesitant to fully commit, even if he’s deeply in love.

- Aizawa values competence and rationality, so he’d need a partner who can hold their own, whether they’re a hero, civilian, or something else. He’d be drawn to someone who shares his sense of duty or at least respects his commitment to it, but he might unintentionally come across as critical if they don’t meet his expectations.

Aizawa falling in love would be a slow, reluctant process, marked by internal struggle and subtle shifts in his behavior. His love would be expressed through quiet acts of care, fierce protectiveness, and rare moments of vulnerability that reveal the depth of his feelings. While his gruff exterior and demanding lifestyle would pose challenges, his partner would find in him a loyal, dependable, and deeply caring companion who loves with the same intensity he brings to his hero work. For Aizawa, love wouldn’t change who he is—it would simply add a new layer to his already complex heart, making him a better hero, teacher, and man.

[the-crooked-library]

Human vs Vampire Violence in Nosferatu

I've talked about this in the tags of another post already but i can't stop thinking about this so here it goes:

The majority of Ellen's suffering is due to mundane and socially acceptable forms of violence (e.g. medical) and that is not an accident. The script intends this. It is the primary underlying theme of Nosferatu (2024), it is the undercurrent to all her motivations, and the film wants the viewers to be aware of this, at least on some level.

Over the course of the story, Ellen Hutter is forcibly isolated by her father, dismissed and infantilized by her husband, drugged and tied to her bed by a doctor and her husband's friends, pierced through the arm by another doctor just to demonstrate that her soul "isn't there," insulted and kicked out from the Hardings' house (while still having psychic fits nightly), left to care for her sick husband alone without any support, never listened to - and all these things are excused!..

There's always some sort of justification, and it's usually either misogynistic or medical or both.

Her father isolated her because her psychic abilities frightened him, because she was too abnormal, and he thought that she wasn't fit to be around other people. Thomas dismissed her nightmares and ignored her emotional needs because he thought her anxieties were childish, that she prioritized the wrong things in life (love over financial advancement), and that she was incapable of good judgement; it's also the reason he is unaware that she doesn't like cut flowers, or that Harding hates her (even though she is very well aware of that, she evidently didn't feel like she could tell her husband). Similarly, Dr. Sievers believed that he had to do what he did, because Ellen was mad and had to be controlled. Harding, naturally, let him do it, and then did worse, and justified it all with “logic” and family values.

The point is that every single character harms Ellen on some level, despite what they might consider best intentions; and I think that a significant drive behind some of the more vitriolic online responses to this film is that many people are uncomfortable with that aspect of the story. Nosferatu demands that the viewer confront a fundamental truth of human imperfection - that someone who looks soft and Normal is, in fact, capable of causing pain regardless; and that invites a deeper sort of self-reflection. Perhaps, even accountability.

Our recently-resurgent purity culture shares this discomfort with Ellen's societal setting. For Thomas, for Sievers, for Harding, for us, it is much easier to blame harm and sin on a Monster From Somewhere Else, and pretend that a witch-hunt would entirely eradicate the problem.

However, the film demonstrates the inherent falseness behind this assumption. Even if Ellen had not followed Orlok into death, she would not have suddenly become happy with her human life - because his destruction would not have changed how she is perceived. She would have continued to endure far more insidious, systemic, violent abuse as a disabled, arguably queer wife and woman.

This is why the sensuality of her death/wedding is so crucial to the presentation of the film.

in Orlok, she embraces her own perceived "darkness," the aspects of her that her society believes are harmful and grotesque - her lack of deference to her husband (he terrorizes Thomas), her queerness (he drains Anna and destroys Harding's family), her psychic disability (he kisses Ellen's heart and drinks from her, reverent and tender). it is a scene steeped in both terror and ecstasy. She is joining Orlok in sin and in death - a twisted version of his proposed eternity; and in doing so, she is ascended.

It is incredibly poignant that, when her power over him is actually shown, it is far more emotional and commonplace than could be expected. There are no torches or stakes, no physical explicit battle; Ellen's unique, magnificent, holy power is merely the ability to ask for "more!.. More!" - and be granted that wish without question. Here, in a monster's embrace, she is valued more than a promotion, or propriety, or even Orlok's own life.

All that to say - Ellen's personal journey through the film does not culminate in a straightforward battle of "victim vs abuser." Despite what a cursory overview might imply, the Final Struggle is a minor aspect; instead, the overwhelming majority of her story revolves around a build-up to a Final Choice. Similar to I Saw The TV Glow, or NBC's Hannibal, or a multitude of other narratives, it explores the balance between the horror of transformation and the horror of staying the same. A monster might grant the first one if you ask, and it will feel like dying - but society's already forced you into the second.

All there is left to do is make damn sure it kills you.

[ddollfface]

𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐀 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐦𝐚; 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐒𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞

Being The Daughter of The Orgre Is Difficult, Especially When It Comes to Dating.

It was a struggle, dating that is. Throughout your life, there’s always been something that causes boys to run away from you, both literally and figuratively. Though the actual running died off as you got older, instead, they’d just look you up and down and chuckle, whispering something to their friends before walking off. During those times, you wished they’d just run away screaming their heads off, that way they wouldn’t bruise your ego with harsh words and nasty stares. 

This wasn’t that big of a deal, at least when you were young. In your early years, you were far more concerned wondering what your mama was going to cook for dinner, or how far you’d make it on the monkey bars (you always did all of them, no question about it), so you didn’t really recognize this aversion boys had for you. If you did, then you just didn’t care. The idea of romance was clearly not on your mind as a seven-year-old. 

But, just like most girls, you grew up. Your body began to change and morph into that of a woman, albeit an awkward one, but a woman nonetheless. You were getting older, changing, and noticing how society viewed you differently, not just because you were a woman, but because you were… well… you. 

Of course, being a girl in this world put you in an interesting position, seeing how society had certain expectations of you, even though you were still so young and oh-so dumb. How can one expect someone so young, who hasn’t even lived for two decades, to know if she wants to birth a whole human? Let alone have more than one! The judgments didn’t stop there. There were constant stares, constant whisperings, and rumors going around that you weren’t a girl, instead, you were some old man disguised as a girl because there was no way a girl could ever look like that. Because there was no way a girl could ever carry that much, or run that fast, or act like that.

There was no way that you were a girl.

And so, not only did boys avoid you, but so did girls. Most people deemed you to be weird, abnormal, and frankly a little scary. The way you were framed, carried yourself, and looked was just too odd not to stare, not to gawk, and not to talk about. You were just so strong, so capable of crushing a bone to dust, and everyone knew.

Everyone knew that you were strong, not just by looks, but from personal experiences. You excelled in the physical arena and somewhat advanced in academics as well, but you really stood out on the court, field, or really anywhere where physical strength and agility were required. Even without thinking, you were capable of so much, so much more than everyone combined. You didn’t need to do anything, simply flicking a baseball would send it further than any major league ever has, or kicking a soccer ball into the atmosphere with a flick of your ankle. Yeah… your teacher knew that whenever you were put into a game, he wasn’t going to get a ball back, so you weren’t. 

Simple as that, you weren’t allowed to do anything, too harsh, too strong for everyone else. Your teachers knew it, your classmates knew it, and you knew it.

So naturally you were a repellent when it came to dating, not that you’re interested or anything. For sure, you’ve never thought of holding a boy's hand, or running your fingers through their hair while they rested on your muscular thighs, or going out to eat together, or going to the movies, or- 

Okay, maybe you’ve thought about it… but that’s normal! Everyone, at some point, wishes for some type of intimacy, right? Was it wrong that you wanted a boyfriend? 

No, it wasn’t, so when the foreign exchange student’s eyes met yours, you were a lost cause. At that moment, when he first walked into the room, taller than the average man, seemingly calm but a little lost, you were a goner. You were not obsessed, but extremely attracted to him. He was so different, and he didn’t know anything about your feats in strength, or how you may have broken an arm or two when you were younger…

He was your fresh start, your chance of having some normalcy throughout your chaotic life of training and searching for victory over it. Ah, right… You forget about it sometimes, how it’s stare seemingly never leaves, always observing, watching, and calculating. At certain times, you feel as if you’re on TV or something, as if you’re about to be PUNK’D. It never happens though... At this point, you’ve gotten used to it, accepting it, and now searching for it. 

Throughout your life, this thing, creature, man, or government has always watched over you, leaving you some money to pay the month’s expenses, keeping food on your table, and seemingly encouraging you to buy some heavier weights, which you ignore. Rather than the occasional envelope with cash on your doorstep or maybe the occasional fighter sent your way, who you suspected was sent by this thing, there was no contact between you and this creature. You didn’t know it’s name, why it’s doing this, or how it knows you. And it’s always been that way, and you’ve accepted it in your life, deeming that you’d crush it anyway. You never thought it’d ever reach out to you.

And let’s just say you were in shock when you were given a note, a piece of paper lying on your dingy, kitchen table. Though it was just a piece of paper, it was so intimidating, so threatening that you couldn’t help but lose your breath at the sight of it. It’s not that you’re scared of paper, but instead, what was written on it.

After seventeen years, what could it possibly have to say? Almost in the blink of an eye, you were standing over the paper. It was fancy, you noted, picking it up as you examined it, not even reading it. It was quality paper, as much quality paper can be, and it had a little emblem in the corner. That piqued your interest, getting closer you gasped, throwing the paper onto the table. 

Why the hell is the 5-7 Paulownia seal on this stupid paper? Picking the paper back up, you let your finger graze over the seal, solidifying that it was in fact the seal of the Japanese government. With a sigh, you decided to read the paper, trying to ignore that whatever has been watching you has some type of power in the government, especially if they have access to this type of material.

.

.

.

Stop with this girly bullshit. You’re a Hanma, you don’t settle, so quit it with that blondie and get used to it. Y.H.

Huh? Who knew such few words could cause so much turmoil? After all these years, this is the most you’ve ever heard from this thing, who may or may not be a government official, and happens to be an asshole as well. You couldn’t help but clench your jaw, crumbling up the paper as you threw it into the trash, not thinking twice. Grumbling under your breath, you rolled your eyes, deciding to cook some dinner. 

Who was this guy, and you assume it’s a guy because no woman would say that type of shit, to order you around as if he’s your dad?

Hanma, you think to yourself, sitting down with a bowl of soba in front of you, Pretty sure that’s the name of that one fighter… You looked up in thought, stirring the noodles mindlessly, feeling as if there was more to the thought, but you didn't get to finish it.

Knock 

Great, who could that be? To your surprise, and your heart's demise, you’re met with the so-called “blondie.” You smile, feeling yourself go weak in the knees as you looked him, creating some small chit-chat, feeling time fly quickly. And you almost cry when he asks you out, questioning your sanity when he tucks some hair behind your ear before walking away. You can’t even remember what he said anymore, was it the aquarium? Or was it the park? You, honestly, don’t care, just too giddy to express a coherent thought. 

The note no longer on your mind once you sat down, smiling at the bowl, mindlessly stirring as you sighed. For the first time ever, you finally have a shot with someone, someone who doesn’t care about how strong you are, how you look, or how others think about you. He doesn’t care if you’re taller, stronger, and could honestly beat his ass, he likes you.

So caught up in your thoughts, that you completely miss the dark aura looming through the window. A man with crimson hair, flowing down his back, and twirling through the wind as his bloodlust seeps throughout the city. His smile taut as he clenched his jaw, watching from afar as his kin wandered down the wrong path, not even paying any mind to his warnings, his cautions. Brown eyes trailed the figure of a giddy blonde, who pumped his fist in the air, too happy to acknowledge any peering eyes. 

With a sigh, the monster of a man followed after the stupid schoolboy. If no one was going to listen to him, then he’d just have to take action, wouldn’t he? After all, what kind of father would he be if he let his only daughter mingle with such pests who couldn’t even bruise her pinkie finger? 

What a stupid girl, He thinks as the breaking of bones and squealing gets lost in empty air, a disappointed frown seeping into his features.

[saturnbeknownst]

an aventurine analysis—(most of) the references in his character.

i thought i'd compile this information on here in case someone else might be interested in this!! enjoy!! if i missed anything, do let me know in the comments. ⁠♡♡

aventurine's light cone is called "inherently unjust destiny". an "inherently unjust destiny" refers to a situation or outcome that is fundamentally unfair or biased from the start. it implies that the factors determining one's fate are intrinsically unequal, leading to inevitable injustice. this phrase is often used in discussions about societal structures, where certain groups might face systemic disadvantages that predetermine their outcomes, regardless of their actions or efforts.

the name kakavasha means the cry of a young crow in sanskrit.

kakavasha was born on the kakava festival, held by romani people on may 5-6.

the name aventurine is based off the aventurine stone, which represents opportunity and luck.

aventurine's banner is called gilded imprisonment, which refers to a situation where an individual is trapped in a seemingly comfortable or privileged environment, but in reality, their freedom and autonomy are restricted. this term is often used to describe scenarios where the outward appearance of luxury or advantage masks the underlying lack of true liberty or choice. the concept can be applied to various contexts, such as relationships, employment, or societal roles, where the benefits or status conferred upon an individual come at the cost of their freedom or well-being.

aventurine's quest is called “all the sad tales,” which could refer to “All the sad Young Men” by F. Scott Fitzgerald—a collection of short stories. i've summarized all of them below:

The Rich Boy an upper-class man, Anson Hunter, is emotionally distant and incapable of deep love. despite several relationships, including a significant one with Paula Legendre, his arrogance and fear of commitment leave him alone and regretful. Winter Dreams Dexter Green, a working-class young man, falls for the beautiful but fickle Judy Jones. he builds a successful life in pursuit of her, only to realize later that she has married and lost her charm. the story reflects themes of unattainable dreams and disillusionment. The Baby Party John and Edith Andros take their daughter to a children’s party, where a minor conflict between kids escalates into a physical fight between their fathers. the story highlights adult immaturity and the fragility of pride. Absolution a young boy named Rudolph Miller struggles with guilt and strict religious expectations. after confessing a minor sin, he receives harsh punishment from his father, leading him to question morality. the story serves as a thematic prelude to The Great Gatsby. Rags Martin-Jones and the Prince of Wales a wealthy woman, Rags, is pursued by a mysterious and seemingly noble man, who turns out to be an imposter. the story critiques social pretensions and the illusions of high society.

The Adjuster a woman named Luella, who believes she deserves happiness without effort, is advised by a psychiatrist to embrace life’s hardships. the story explores self-delusion and personal growth. Hot and Cold Blood two men reflect on a failed business venture and how their differing personalities—one cold and calculating, the other passionate—led to their downfall. the story examines human nature and success.

The Sensible Thing George O’Kelly, an ambitious but struggling man, is rejected by his love, Jonquil, due to financial instability. after achieving success, he returns to her, only to find their love has faded. the story mirrors themes of lost innocence and changing emotions.

Gretchen’s Forty Winks a husband, Roger Halsey, feels neglected when his wife, Gretchen, prioritizes her beauty sleep. His jealousy and insecurity lead to comedic misunderstandings, revealing the absurdity of marital tensions.

in the cn dub, aventurine's quest is titled “dance in the slaughterhouse,” which refers to “Dance in the Slaughterhouse,” a novel by Ed McBain. [spoilers ahead] in this novel, detectives from the 87th Precinct investigate a snuff film, uncovering a dark network of violence and sexual exploitation. as they track the killers, they face corruption and danger, leading to a tense and gritty conclusion.

when we switch to aventurine's pov in the penacony quest, it's is called danse macabre. the "danse macabre," also known as the "dance of death," is an artistic and literary motif that emerged in the late Middle Ages. it depicts the universality of death, illustrating the idea that death comes for everyone, regardless of their social status or position in life. the motif typically features skeletons or personifications of death leading people from all walks of life—such as kings, popes, peasants, and children—in a dance toward their graves. the danse macabre serves as a reminder of the inevitability of death and the transient nature of earthly life. it was often portrayed in murals, prints, literature, and music. one of the most famous representations is the fresco in the Cemetery of the Holy Innocents in Paris, created around the early 15th century. this theme became particularly popular in times of plague and social upheaval, reflecting the widespread presence of death and the shared human experience of mortality.

— on a similar note, when we switch to aventurine's pov, we see a question right under danse macabre. the translation is “Quo Fata Ferunt?” which literally means, “Whither the Fates Carry (Us)?” the motto appears on Gibraltar’s coat of arms, granted by Spain’s Catholic Monarchs in 1502, before the British took control of the territory in 1704.

eidolons:

eidolon one; prisoner's dilemma: it is a game that demonstrates why two people might not cooperate, even if it's in their best interest. in the game, two players are arrested and interrogated separately. each has two choices: to cooperate with their partner by staying silent or to betray their partner by confessing. the outcomes are:

if both stay silent, they get a light sentence.

if one betrays and the other stays silent, the betrayer goes free and the silent one gets a heavy sentence.

if both betray, they both get moderate sentences.

the dilemma arises because while mutual cooperation yields a better overall outcome, individual incentives lead both to betray, resulting in a worse outcome for both.

eidolon two; bounded rationality: it is a card game that simulates the decision-making process under constraints. in this game, players must make choices based on limited information, time, and cognitive resources. the aim is to replicate real-world scenarios where individuals cannot consider all possible options or outcomes. the game involves making trade-offs and prioritizing certain actions, reflecting the concept that people use "bounded" rationality rather than perfect rationality when making decisions.

eidolon three; droprate maxing: droprate maxing is a strategy used in games, particularly in those involving loot or collectible items, where players aim to maximize their chances of obtaining rare items. this involves optimizing various factors that affect drop rates, such as choosing the best locations to farm, using specific equipment or bonuses that increase drop chances, and repeating actions that yield the best rewards. the goal is to make the most efficient use of time and resources to get the desired items as quickly as possible.

eidolon four; unexpected hanging paradox: it is a logic puzzle involving a surprise event. for example:

a judge tells a condemned prisoner that they will be hanged at noon on one weekday (monday to friday), but the hanging will be a surprise. the prisoner won't know the day until the morning of the hanging. the prisoner reasons:

- if the hanging is on friday, they would know by thursday night, so it can't be friday.

- if it's thursday, they would know by wednesday night, since friday is ruled out, so it can't be thursday.

- by this logic, they rule out each day, concluding the hanging can't happen at all.

despite this reasoning, the prisoner is hanged on a day they don't expect, making the hanging both surprising and logical.

the paradox arises because the prisoner's logical deduction leads to a conclusion that contradicts the judge's initial statement.

eidolon five; ambiguity aversion: it is when people prefer known risks over unknown risks. in simple terms, if given a choice between a bet where they know the exact odds of winning and a bet where the odds are unclear, most people choose the one with known odds, even if both bets might have the same potential payoff. this happens because people feel more comfortable and secure when they know what to expect.

eidolon six; the stag hunt game: it is a game that illustrates a situation where cooperation and trust between individuals lead to better outcomes, but there's a risk involved. for example:

two hunters can either hunt a stag (deer) together or hunt rabbits alone.

hunting a stag requires both hunters to cooperate; if they succeed, they both get a large reward.

hunting rabbits can be done alone, and each hunter gets a smaller, but guaranteed reward.

if one hunter goes for the stag and the other hunts rabbits, the stag hunter gets nothing, while the rabbit hunter gets a small reward.

the game shows the dilemma between choosing a safe, smaller reward (hunting rabbits) or risking cooperation for a larger reward (hunting a stag). it highlights the importance of trust and cooperation in achieving the best outcomes.

achievements related to aventurine:

when we witness kakavasha's story, we get the achievement "Sibyl, what do you want?" the phrase "Sibyl, what do you want?" originates from T.S. Eliot's poem "The Waste Land," specifically in the epigraph at the beginning. the full epigraph, translated from Latin, is:

"For I myself saw with my own eyes the Sibyl at Cumae hanging in a jar, and when the boys said to her, 'Sibyl, what do you want?' she replied, 'I want to die.'"

this passage references the Sibyl of Cumae, a prophetic figure in Roman mythology who was granted immortality by the god Apollo but not eternal youth. as a result, she grew older and more withered over time, longing for death as a release from her endless, decrepit existence.

the epigraph serves to set the tone for "The Waste Land," a poem that explores themes of decay, disillusionment, and the search for meaning in a fragmented, modern world. the Sibyl's desire for death reflects a sense of despair and futility, which resonates with the broader themes of the poem.

how is this related to aventurine? well, for one, kakavasha's life revolves around death. it would surprise nobody if all he knew at this point would be death. he has been granted a life that could be described as a 'dream' by many, but for him, quite like the Sibyl of Cumae, it could only be a curse. his loss of innocence is also expressed in this line.

upon defeating aventurine's boss, we get the achievement "she replied, ‘i want to die,’" which is a continuation of the previous achievement ("sibyl, what do you want?"), and the sibyl's response, and in this case, also aventurine's.

combat abilities/traces:

(technique) the red and the black: “The Red and The Black” is a novel by Stendhal. [the paragraph summarizes the red and the black, so spoiler warning.] it follows Julien Sorel, a poor but ambitious young man in 19th-century France. he becomes a tutor and has an affair with Madame de Rênal, which forces him to flee to a seminary. later, he gains favor with the aristocratic Marquis de la Mole and begins a passionate affair with the marquis’s daughter, Mathilde. when his past is exposed, he attempts to kill Madame de Rênal, is arrested, and sentenced to death. in prison, he rejects his past ambitions and accepts his fate. Mathilde mourns him, while Madame de Rênal dies of grief.

— peaceful calm: refers to a state of deep tranquility and serenity, where there is an absence of stress, agitation, or disturbance. It's a feeling of inner stillness and relaxation, where both the mind and body are at ease. In this state, one may feel grounded, clear-headed, and free from worry or tension.

— still water runs deep: the latin "still waters run deep" is a proverb with latin origins that suggests that a calm and placid exterior often conceals deep thoughts, emotions, or complexities beneath the surface. it implies that individuals who appear quiet or reserved may possess significant depth, wisdom, or intensity that is not immediately apparent.

— pouring rain: i am still a bit confused about this, but there are two possibilities. it could refer to “In Red Earth and Pouring Rain” by Vikram Chandra, a wounded monkey avoids death by telling an epic tale. His story follows Sanjay, a poet in colonial India, as he navigates love, war, and rebellion. Meanwhile, modern-day characters in California explore identity and belonging.

the other possibility is that it refers to the rain that fell on Sigonia-IV on aventurine's birthday.

(thank you @roxirinart for pointing out this possibility!!) for the 'pouring rain' reference, if it's not referring to anything deeper, it could refer to the act of 'making it rain'—a phrase that means throwing out cash in the air, usually at strip clubs, but it's sort of a slang nowadays for indulgently spending large amounts of money in a lavish or extravagant way, which fits the way his skill is a slot machine hitting the jackpot and how he 'makes it rain' in his ult as well. the pouring part could simply be to emphasize how much money it is (instead of 'drizzling' rain it's 'pouring' rain, which just means it is constantly raining, so a lot of money), or could be a reference to 'when it rains, it pours'—when one bad thing happens, other bad things tend to follow/come with it—which certainly fits how aventurine went through a massacre (in the rain) and proceeded to live a whole life of horrifying 'misfortunes' afterwards.

(shield) fortified wager: a "fortified wager" generally refers to a bet or gamble that has been strengthened or supported in some way. the term isn't widely used, but in this context, 'fortified' suggests that the wager has been enhanced or protected—perhaps through additional safeguards, resources, or strategies. for instance, in gambling or sports betting, a "fortified wager" could mean a bet that has been bolstered by better odds, insider knowledge, or some form of assurance, making it a stronger or less risky bet than it would have been otherwise. it might also involve combining bets or using betting strategies that minimize risk.

blind bet: it refers to a forced bet in poker (and some other card games) that players must place before they see their cards. it’s typically used to ensure there’s money in the pot right from the start of a hand. there are usually two types of blinds in poker:

small blind: a smaller bet placed by the player to the immediate left of the dealer.

big blind: a larger bet placed by the player two seats to the left of the dealer.

these blinds rotate around the table, ensuring everyone contributes over time. the players who place the blind bets are at a slight disadvantage since they must bet without seeing their cards first, thus the term 'blind.'

leverage: it is the ability to influence situations or people so that you can control what happens.

hot hand: it is a phenomenon, previously considered a cognitive social bias, that a person who experiences a successful outcome has a greater chance of success in further attempts.

bingo: it is a game of chance using cards on which there is a grid of numbers, a row of which constitute a win when they have been chosen at random. bingo is one of the most popular forms of low-priced gambling in the world.

[dramioneasks]

Draco’s Birthday (2025)

Birthday Terms & (Magical) Conditions by ethereal_mads - E, WIP - Draco Malfoy turns thirty with a bitter divorce, a very precocious five-year-old, and an illegal sex-magic device he never asked for from Theo and Blaise. Hermione Granger accidentally activates it. Now they’re trapped in Draco's ultimate fantasy involving the inappropriate use of Hermione's bookshop. It’s fine. Totally fine. Right? Smut, fluff, meddling Slytherins, and one cinnamon roll Scorpius.

Draco Malfoy and the Curious Case of Unfortunate Birthdays by newtonn - E, one-shot - Draco Malfoy is having some really, really bad luck on his birthdays. That's why he needs to throw another birthday party to show wizarding society that it won't end in total disaster—again. What he doesn’t know is that someone—someone close—has been the cause of it all.

The Gift He Didn't Expect by emeraldnicole - G, one-shot - Hermione loses a trivia bet and, thanks to an obscure Hogwarts rule, is forced to give Draco Malfoy a “thoughtful” birthday gift. She finds an old book, starts annotating it out of spite — and maybe something else. Somewhere between the margins, things begin to change.

The Wrong Invitation by Tea_and_books - E, one-shot - WINNER - FUNNIEST FIC for Draco Malfoy's Birthday Bash - Side Quest "Theo wasn’t known for his smart decisions; so when he suggested they go out and drink the night before his party, Draco was hesitant." ~ Draco drunkenly writes, and sends, an invitation to Hermione the night before his birthday. How will she respond at his party?

In More Ways Than One by Dizzle00, LucyHyde, Sophiesstreet - E, one-shot - He’s rumoured to be a good lay; there had been plenty of rumours back at Hogwarts and there were even more now. His cock, from what she can tell by the outline in his trousers, would be a lovely proportion to her mouth and cunt. Enough to stretch her, to hit all the sweet, sensitive parts of her. And yes, he’s fit as hell. So once is all she needs, she’s certain of it. He’ll give her the ride of her life and then she can finally move on. Unclench, as they say, once she’s done clenching all over his cock.

Ready or Nott! by MarinaJune - M, one-shot - Draco's birthday looms, and Theo has a plan, one that requires secrecy, teamwork, and a panache wholly unique to Draco's #1 friend.

The Birthday Card by lemoneide - T, one-shot - For Draco, birthdays in Azkaban are just a reminder that the world is moving on without him, until an unexpected card brings an even more unexpected second chance.

A Perfect Day by Eternallydramione - E, 4 chapters - On his thirty-fifth birthday, Draco Malfoy drinks a potion that promises him his perfect day. What he doesn't expect is to spend it in sun-soaked reverie with the one and only Hermione Granger - and to wake up, needing to make that dream a reality.

Happy Birthday, Draco (alt: The Birthday Cupcake) by Slytherclaw_Heiress - not rated, one-shot - The five times someone left a birthday cupcake in Draco's desk

The Gem and I by Sessediz - T, one-shot - "I’ve always known what land boy I wanted since the day I saw your sad eyes brighten in that window . . . now I can take you away from this dreadful place that saddens you so." Fraught with desperation to escape his dreary future, a young Draco Malfoy wishes for a different world where he can be free. Luckily for him, some birthday wishes do come true.

Happy Birthday, Draco by Goyard - not rated, one-shot - It's Draco Malfoy's birthday! And his wife forgot about it.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year by Sanichka - T, one-shot - At last, it’s his favorite day of the year. And though very few things go according to his plans, Draco is determined to be mature about it. Sort of.

Draco's Mysterious Birthday Gift by dramione_endgame_always - M, one-shot - Draco considered the gift. He picked up the small silver package, turning it over in his hands. Curiosity finally got the better of him and he tore the wrapping off, opening the small box up. or The one where Draco is shamelessly wearing only a towel for most of the fic. You're welcome ;)

Burning the Birthday Candle at Both Ends by maggie_may_be - E, one-shot - It's Draco's 33rd birthday, and it's going perfectly... except for the fact that he can't find his wife, Hermione. Draco spends the day doing all of the things he likes, but he has no idea where she's gone. Meanwhile everyone else seems to know something he doesn't, and won't let him in on the secret. A fluffy, smutty one shot for Draco's birthday celebration.

All I Got For My Birthday Was This Overly Attached Peacock by Khawabedramione (Khawab) - G, 8 chapters - It all started with Draco’s fifteenth birthday, when his father gifted him a rare, magical, peacock. Unfortunately, the bird imprinted on Draco. Even worse, it responds, loudly and possessively, to the name Granger. Now Draco is stuck with a six-foot feathered menace who follows him everywhere, especially anytime he’s near a certain Gryffindor girl he might have a crush on. And he can’t exactly ask her out… not when the bird keeps ruining everything.

[xmalereader]

Simon Riley x Hybrid! Male Reader

-

|| Masterlist ||

—

Authors Note: I’m back! I want to start off by saying thank you everyone for being patient with me and for 8k followers! I know this shot isn’t long and pretty short, but I will be working on more soon. Unfortunately, at this time I am in my Hybrid era phase for some reason ( ◠‿◠ ) sooo don’t judge me. Also the beautiful artwork below belongs to @ave661 all credit goes to them please follow them because their work is amazing!

Summary: Simon finally gets to retire and get the peace that he finally needs in life, only for Laswell to convince him to take home a hybrid companion back home as company.

Warnings: Fluff, simple plot, hybrid dog reader, Simon is a softy, nightmares, mentions of service dog, military, history, short story, animal features and characteristics.

Word Count: 1.3K

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Simon wasn’t one for retirement.

His whole life he thought that he would be protecting people until the day that he is shot dead in the field.

Only to end up retiring.

He wasn’t retiring because of his age, no. He was retiring for being tired of having to see so much pain and bloodshed, seeing it when he was only a child and going into adulthood something that he never stopped hearing or seeing in his life. He reached a point where he no longer wanted to deal with this blood shed and finally be able to sit back without having to worry about someone trying to kill him.

When Simon made the decision of leaving the special forces he knew it was the right choice that he ended up surprising Price. The same man that he met when he first joined the military, befriending the older man and trusting him with his life. He expected Price to reject his retirement request only for the man to give him his approval on the spot, knowing Simon well enough to know that he needed this break. This peace in his life.

When news spread that ‘Ghost’ was officially retiring it shocked the whole base to know that the most dangerous and intimidating man that the know will be leaving his military life behind for something normal. Price had helped him find a remote place for him to stay in the meantime until he decided to either leave and find somewhere else to call home or perhaps stay at the small house that Price was able to find him.

Simon thought that it would be an easy start until Laswell recommended that he get himself a ‘service dog’ or a ‘companion’ to keep him company. He was against the idea of having someone or something living in the same place as him and so soon, but Laswell had insisted to give it a try in order to have some company around in case he ever felt too isolated from society. Which he later caves into Laswells offer and agrees to have a companion of his own.

Simon expected someone that Laswell and Price knew that had the balls to stay with him until he got adjusted to having a normal life, only to come face to face with a very rare and calm German Shepherd Hybrid.

Simon had heard about Hybrids co existing with society, living their lives hiding from the others due to them being so different from others. It wasn’t until laws were established back in 2010 for Hybrids to be able to live a life like humans; getting jobs, owning homes and property along with getting an education. That didn’t mean that they were entirely free.

Hybrids still had their own set of strict rules. Any hybrid who showed signs of aggression towards a human would be locked away, still keeping them in check for years knowing that they didn’t have total control of their own biology, but after years the laws changed either getting harsher or lighter for them to cope with, reaching a point where hybrids were reaching extinction.

Many were taken, sold to black markets, slavery, or even used for their unique features caused many to go into hiding again or to slowly die off. Very few were protected, but in the end they all died.

The hybrid that Simon took with him wasn’t like the ones that he would see in public.

He was quiet and respectful of his boundaries, never doing anything that Simon didn’t like. He was technically a ‘service dog’ from what Laswell said, trained by her own special team and her wife in order to have Y/n help soldiers with trauma or perhaps those who feared being alone and in need of a friend.

Expect Simons situation was different, Y/n wasn’t just there to keep him company for a short period of time. Instead he was their permanently.

It took Simon some time to adjust to the hybrids existence whenever he woke up in the mornings only to come downstairs to see the hybrid cooking him breakfast other times he would find him outside tending to the ruined gardens, keeping himself busy while Simon focused on his own thing.

The two didn’t really converse with each other until two months into living together. It was the night that Y/n was woken up by the sound of Simons thrashing and heavy breathing that alerted him to rush into Simon’s room. He can smell the sweat and anxiety off of him along with hearing his soft murmurs, clearly showing signs of a nightmare.

When Y/n first met Simon he promised the man that he wouldn’t do anything he didn’t like and kept well to his promise until now. His own instincts were going off and couldn’t stand to the side and watch the man deal with his nightmare. So, he did the only thing he knew what to do.

Y/n had crawled into Simons bed, lying down in the empty spot next to him and moving himself closer to the bigger man, head against his chest as his ears lower in worry when he hears how fast his heart is beating. “Simon…” He whispers in a soft tone, glancing up at the man in distraught. “I’m here Simon, you’re not alone.” He adds on, keeping his head against his chest while his tail brushed up against his hip, causing a small gasp to escape his lips when he feels Simons hand take hold of his tail in his sleep. The soft fur on his tail quickly relaxing the man as his heavy breathing decreases.

The hybrid ears perk up as he listens to his heart beat, hearing it slow down to a proper rate. He stays in this position for the rest of the night without another nightmare occurring.

When Simon woke up that morning he was shocked to find Y/n in bed with him, curled up close to his chest. The warmth of the others mans body heat brings him a sense of comfort, instead of getting out of bed and waking up the hybrid he instead stays in bed a little longer, watching the other man sleep against him.

Simon hated the idea of having company for his first few weeks of retirement, but after getting used to Y/n’s presences in his life their are current things that Simon had grown adjusted to in his every day life. The smell of breakfast being made every morning by the hybrid became a familiar routine, finding the man on his hands and knees while he tends to the backyard digging up a few holes in order to plant new flowers or perhaps some fruit.

Simon favorite part of their day together was sitting outside on the porch as they watched the horizon. Simon would notice the way that Y/n’s ears would twitch as he listens to his surroundings taking in the familiar noise that he hears every morning. The way that his tail would wag whenever he sees kids running down the street with their bikes or scooters in hand, hearing as they would argue with each other and laugh.

The image alone brought a small smile to Simons lips.

Their bonded deepened with time to the point that the two were having regular day to day conversations. Y/n was no longer the closed off and shy hybrid that would be cautious when speaking with Simon and instead became someone who wasn’t afraid to speak up for himself or to be selfish every once an while.

Simon could say that he was grateful for Laswell convincing him to bring Y/n into his life, having him as a company whenever he came home or when the two would go out to run some simple errands, granting Simon the domestic life that he craved for whenever he was on missions and he finally has it

[scary-grace]

On Heroes and Villains

(or: how I stopped worrying and learned to hate the system)

Now that I’ve gone off a bit about how Midoriya sees heroes and how he sees himself, it’s time to go off about how he conceptualizes villains. The definition of “hero” in BNHA society veers off of what we’d consider the idealistic definition, and indeed the definition that the Western-style comic books Horikoshi was apparently partially inspired by follow — a hero is someone who acts to save others, often at great risk, without being asked and without asking for payment in return. Unlike BNHA’s heroes, heroes in Western comics are sometimes viewed negatively by society and civilians (see various eras of the X-Men, Spider-Man, Batman, etc) but that doesn’t change the fact that they are heroes at their core. Heroism under the idealist/Western comic definition is both intrinsic and chosen. Heroism in BNHA draws a government salary.

That’s heroes. How about villains? In Western comics, villains are people who do bad things, often using supernatural abilities on civilians who aren’t able to defend themselves the same way. Villains are sometimes portrayed as evil for evil’s sake (ex. the Joker), but more often they’re humanized. A classic example is the X-Men’s Magneto. In his initial appearances in the comics, he’s unquestionably a villain — a mutant supremacist who believes that the human majority should be subject to the mutant minority. This is a bad look. Plus ultra bad, one might say. But when the comics reveal Magneto’s backstory, it becomes clear why he holds that viewpoint: As a Jewish character alive during World War II, he was a member of a tiny minority, persecuted and murdered en masse by the majority culture. The phrase “never again” is often used when referencing the Holocaust, and Magneto takes that concept and broadens it. Never again will he or anyone like him suffer at the hands of the majority. Magneto’s backstory, tragic as it is, doesn’t excuse his villainous actions (prior to his various redemptions, that is), but it does explain them. The reader understands why Magneto does what he does, and more importantly, the reader is meant to care. In Western comics, ‘villain’ isn’t a personality trait, but a descriptor of someone’s actions — and quite crucially, they can choose a different action at any time.

BNHA takes a different viewpoint. Villain isn’t a description of a person’s behavior, but an intrinsic trait. And this gets problematic when one thinks about the fact that all someone needs to do is use their quirk in the committing of a crime to qualify as a villain.

Moving on. At the beginning of BNHA, there’s no evidence that Midoriya or anyone else has much sympathy or even a desire to understand the villains. Notably, the first villains we’re shown are thieves — the purse snatcher on the train, who activates his quirk out of panic when he’s caught, and the Sludge Villain, who by virtue of his heteromorphic quirk is using his quirk at all times. (That begs an interesting and horrible question. Some heteromorphs are theoretically using their quirks all the time. Would getting a parking ticket while “using their quirk” then classify them as a villain?) In any case, the motivation of these characters is identified as greed or enjoyment of stealing. But there are a lot of reasons why a person might steal. I don’t expect Midoriya to ask those questions in Chapter 1 as a fourteen year old who idolizes heroes. But it would bother me less if it hadn’t turned out to be a harbinger of things to come.

The first villain Midoriya encounters as a hero student is Shigaraki, who at first glance during the USJ attack appears to be the least threatening of the main trio. He’s also the youngest and the most physically vulnerable of the group. Unlike the previous villains, Shigaraki actually has a chance to explain his motivations — which are admittedly not phrased well, and are thoroughly infected by All For One’s ideology. However, Shigaraki is given multiple chances to explain his motivations, and his ability to articulate them improves by leaps and bounds. Shigaraki also has something in his back pocket that villains such as Toga and Twice don’t have: He’s related to a hero, and particularly a hero that All Might holds in the highest esteem. And yet, while Midoriya can sympathize with or “understand” Stain and Gentle Criminal, he can’t or won’t reckon with Shigaraki. (He also fails to understand Overhaul, but there’s an important difference in that Overhaul has no desire to be understood, saved, or stopped.)

On the surface, this makes no sense. Stain explicitly targets heroes, members of a group Midoriya is aiming to be part of. Gentle Criminal threatens to ruin the school festival, which Midoriya and his classmates have worked hard for, and unlike Stain, Shigaraki, or Overhaul, Gentle Criminal turns his villainy into a performance. His motivation is entirely selfish. Stain’s motivation doesn’t arise from a personal grievance. Why can Midoriya acknowledge common ground with them and not with Shigaraki?

Because in Midoriya’s worldview, “villain” isn’t something a person does. Villain is something a person is.

On some level, Midoriya is able to identify with Stain and with Gentle Criminal. Because he can identify with them, he makes a small but significant leap in logic — they’re like me, and I’m not a villain, so they can’t be villains, either. Under this paradigm, Gentle Criminal’s selfish crimes are relevant only where they might put Midoriya out. Under this same paradigm, Stain’s murders become a misguided offshoot of his veneration of All Might. Villains that Midoriya personally understands are seen as people. Villains he can’t relate to aren’t.

Shigaraki and the League of Villains have legitimate grievances, causes of their misery that they’re able to name and point to. The bystander effect, heteromorph discrimination, the school-to-prison pipeline, general intolerance, parental abuse, and so on. They also get chances to articulate these viewpoints to the heroes. But because Midoriya can’t personally relate to Shigaraki, because Shigaraki got angry in the face of his mistreatment instead of accepting it in silence like Midoriya did, Shigaraki never escapes the category of villain.

A villain in BNHA society is effectively unpersoned. They can be injured with impunity, to the point where villain-specific hospitals exist to treat the injuries caused by heroes. They can be imprisoned under inhumane conditions. They can be written off completely. This inverts the Western comic understanding, wherein heroism is intrinsic and villainy is a choice; under BNHA’s paradigm, heroism is a choice, and villainy is intrinsic. Villains can’t be saved, and it doesn’t matter, because there was nothing there to save in the first place.

In fact, the only way Midoriya is comfortable acknowledging Shigaraki is by acknowledging that he was once Tenko Shimura — an innocent child, a victim of All For One who should have been saved. This viewpoint has the benefit of being uncomplicated and not requiring Midoriya to think too hard. To reckon with Shigaraki as an adult, Midoriya would have to accomplish the Magneto dialectic; that is, acknowledging that while Shigaraki’s actions are terrible, the person taking those actions didn’t spring fully formed into the world as the Symbol of Fear. Shigaraki is still a victim of All For One, and arguably the victim who suffered the most at his hands. It’s entirely reasonable for Shigaraki to be hurt and furious that he wasn’t rescued. But rather than understanding that the innocent child and the adult villain are facets of the same individual, Midoriya separates them — which allows him to metaphorically “save” Tenko while literally murdering Tomura.

To summarize: Unless he’s able to personally relate to the villain in question on a superficial level, Midoriya makes no distinction between person and action. “Villain” is seen as an intrinsic, immutable trait, a label that effectively dehumanizes the individual it’s applied to. In BNHA, the only “redeemable” villain is a dead villain, and neither BNHA nor its main character ever takes issue with this premise. At least not enough to matter for the villains themselves.

I’m going to take a second to vent about this heroes act/villains are bullshit. We see multiple heroes take actions while on the job as heroes that should disqualify them from the label. Even as a full-blown hero, Bakugou is an utter shit whose main interests are becoming Number One and beating Midoriya, rather than actually helping anyone. Present Mic, as much as I love him, attempts to murder Kurogiri in cold blood even knowing that Kurogiri used to be his friend and that there’s at least a possibility that his friend’s consciousness is still present. Hawks straight up murders someone on camera. These characters aren’t even acting like heroes at this point. But as long as they don’t earn the label of “villain”, anything can be excused…and is excused, by the narrative, by BNHA society, and by BNHA’s creator.

[bloodblanks]

numinous — leo kurosagi x reader

Demon is a word that fits Leo well.

note: reader can be player/mc, but it is up to interpretation.

author’s note: this fanfiction will contain darker content, including angst, manipulation, unhealthy relationships, and similar themes.

please read at your own discretion.

Demon was a word that fit Leo well.

Almost all the people he had come across in his life described him as such, and even though other people’s opinions were of no value to him, he would be inclined to agree with them in this singular instance.

Leo was well aware that callousness, cynicism, and egoism were frowned upon traits in the society he lived in. He didn’t need anyone to tell him that, though they had told him plenty; many more times than he cared to hear. It was almost as if they thought their words mattered to him.

He thought he had made it clear enough—his blatant disregard for people. From talking down to others, using them, or even directly sabotaging them, he had done a plethora of things demonstrating his lack of concern for anyone besides himself.

And so, when people called him a demon, he could only find it amusing. What else did they expect Leo Kurosagi to be? Surely not a saint.

That was why him dating you was nothing out of the ordinary. Or well, to some extent, he supposed it was. After all, you were nothing like any of the other women he’d been with. Where they were all prominent figures in one way or another, you were someone who could go missing without being noticed. Where they were all extravagantly gorgeous, you were plain and minimalistic. You weren’t ugly by any means—he’d never date an ugly girl—and you weren’t homely, either. If anything, you had a rather pleasant face and an appealing figure. However, despite not having any noticeable flaws, you were completely unremarkable.

He wasn’t even sure what it was about you—if it was your physical features alone, your taste in clothing, or the way you carried yourself—but you were simply just plain. Had you not been sent to Darkwick Academy as an exceptional case, he wouldn’t have bothered interacting with you. In fact, if the circumstances had been any different, he wouldn’t have even noticed your existence to begin with.

However, you were the pitiful human struck by a curse, kept hostage by Darkwick until either a cure is found, or your time runs short. That, by itself, was insignificant to Leo; what caught his attention was the academy’s decision to make you an honour student and supervise the ghouls’ investigation cases.

It was a job much too important for someone like you—a weak, useless human girl who was only there by sheer chance. At least, that was what he thought at the beginning. He quickly found out how prominent your ability was, and by extension, how useful it would be to have you cater to him.

It wasn’t exactly necessary to date you. He could’ve just been close friends with you, but where was the fun in that?

Not to mention, love was such an easy weakness to exploit. There wasn’t a single person on this earth who was invulnerable to the emotion—except him, but he was no mere mortal—and he made good use of that fact.

Having witnessed and orchestrated the calamities this feeling brought, Leo knew not to fall for such a trap himself. He didn’t need to; he was well versed at convincing others, and to lie about having feelings was no exception.

Admittedly, it was more difficult than he had imagined with you. You were one of those girls that cared about personality—how boring—and preferred conversation over glittering gifts.

He knew he wasn’t the most pleasant to speak with generally, but his tongue was deft at changing its speech, and it wasn’t long until he had you for himself.

Oh, you were absolutely enamoured with him. You visibly adored him, showering him with affection and devoting your time to him. He had you wrapped around his finger, led around like a dog on a leash. And you were so attached to him, he could treat you however carelessly he wanted without you even considering leaving him.

“Leo?” Your voice cut through the tranquillity of his apartment, jostling him from his thoughts.

“What?” He didn’t bother masking the irritation in his voice; he was in the middle of working on programming Sho’s food ordering application.

“Can we talk?”

“I’m busy,” he replied dismissively, not bothering to glance back at you.

“With what?” you asked, further nagging him.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“It’s important.” The tone of your voice indicated a sense of urgency, which made him halt for a second. He considered stopping his work, but the thought ended there. He was not going to pause just because you wanted him to.

“Ugh,” he grumbled. “I’m not in the mood to talk right now. Can’t we do this later?”

A moment of silence, followed by two words.

“I see.” The soft sound of footsteps followed after, indicating that you had left the room.

Leo was mildly confused; you didn’t typically let things go so easily. If anything, you were obnoxiously insistent on certain matters, oftentimes making a fuss when he didn’t display the amount of care you desired. It was rather bothersome, but he supposed it was only natural—he had put in far more effort at the start of your relationship in order to secure you.

The faint sound of shuffling could be heard from the bedroom, but it was soon tuned out by his focus on his work. At some point, he heard the apartment door open and close. He glanced at the time on his phone, seeing that it was quarter to midnight. It was rare for you to go out so late, but he shrugged it off as nothing noteworthy. Perhaps you had an anomalous case to deal with. It wasn’t something he paid attention to.

At half past midnight, Leo decided he was tired of working on the application. Closing his laptop, he pushed himself up from his desk before heading to the washroom to brush his teeth.

Upon reaching for his toothbrush, he noticed that yours was not beside his, as it usually was. He wasn’t sure why; he considered asking you later but decided that what you did with your toiletries didn’t really concern him. He finished his preparations for going to bed and retired to his bedroom for the evening.

His eyes widened at the sight of the empty room before him.

No, it wasn’t just you not being on his bed, where you usually lounged as you waited for him to come to sleep. You weren’t there, but more concerning was that any trace of you having stayed there had disappeared.

Your school bag, usually placed beside the nightstand, was missing. The few coats you had folded over his chair were gone. He hastily flung open his closet door; your clothes weren’t there, either. Everything from your school uniform to your loungewear had seemingly dissipated into thin air.

Disbelief flooded his mind. He was quick to piece together what had occurred, but slow to process it happening.

You? Leaving him? That surely couldn’t be it. You loved him.

While he hadn’t been the best boyfriend as of late, with such an emotion clouding your judgement, you couldn’t ever think of leaving him for it. If anything, you would be more likely coming to him in tears, demanding more attention.

Now that he thought about it, he was certain that was what you were doing—just slightly differently. Instead of directly confronting him about the issue at hand, you were throwing a fit over it in hopes of getting a reaction out of him.

Leo let out a small breath of relief that he didn’t know he was holding. The tension left his body at the realization that you were just seeking attention. You’d come back eventually, after you realize that he’s not buying into your childish behaviour.

But you didn’t.

Two weeks had since passed, and he hadn’t even caught sight of you on campus. While he didn’t go out of his way to search for you—as to not give into your petty demands—it was obvious that you were going out of your way to avoid him on campus.

It was vexing, the way you seemed to actually not want him anymore. He could feel a sense of unease stirring in his stomach at the thought of you being serious about leaving him. He quickly shook himself out of it.

Even if you were to have left him, it wasn’t like it mattered, anyway. Sure, it was convenient to have you around, but it wasn’t like he needed you. He was more than capable of living without you. He wasn’t even sure why he was wasting energy thinking about you coming back; he could just as easily replace you and forget you ever existed.

A month later, with no sign that you were even in Darkwick still, Leo did exactly that.

He didn’t usually care for having a girlfriend outside of entertainment for himself and additional traction for his content, but he came to the conclusion that the unsettling feeling in his viscera resulted from the suddenness of your departure. It was an unexpected change to his daily routine; something he was not generally fond of.

It was an easy fix—finding someone else to fit into his life the same way. After some back and forth texting, he was sitting at a café with another content creator. She was undoubtedly attractive, with long, fluttering eyelashes and perfectly glossed lips. Definitely far more eye-catching than you were.

Leo didn’t remember much of the date. All he could remember was returning to his apartment and sinking into his bathtub, feeling dissatisfied. Surrounded by foaming bubbles and hot waters, he felt the blood in his veins turn to ice as he came to the chilling realization that not even his usual bath felt good for him.

How ludicrous. It must be a coincidence; there’s no way the hollow ache in his chest right now could be attributed to you. It couldn’t be. It was something unimaginable—for him to be feeling this way over you. Over pathetic, boring you.

And yet, it was unmistakable. The acrid taste in his mouth intensified at the thought of you, his heart seeming to beat in tandem with the pulsing anguish that ricocheted within his ribcage.

He didn’t think he paid much attention to you, but memories he wasn’t aware he even recalled began pouring into his mind. From the first time you snuck out of Darkwick’s suffocating campus together, to your wincing expression when you mistakenly ate one of his spicy doughnuts, to the softness of your lips and tenderness in your eyes as you fondly gazed at him—his mind was possessed, replaying events that sent shards of glass stabbing into his heart.

Leo’s eyes stung, his vision growing hazy with unborn tears. The horror of the situation dawned on him then, his complexion growing pale.

He couldn’t. He couldn’t cry. He was Leo fucking Kurosagi.

He was above the rest of mankind, above such inane, nonsensical emotions. He was above such weakness. To be on the verge of tears over a girl—and a mundane one at that—was unthinkable. To be vulnerable in such a manner was truly appalling and revolting. It was utterly sickening. It was—

No, no, this couldn’t be happening.

He was a demon. He was a fucking demon; everyone around him knew that. He was a demon through and through.

A tear slid down Leo’s cheek, leaving a trail of scalding shame in its wake. Another escaped, running along a symmetrical path.

Maybe he was a mere mortal, after all. Or, perhaps, even the numinous can be rendered weak. 

if you enjoy my writing, please consider reblogging; i really appreciate the interactions.

thank you everyone for reading and supporting my work! (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

[padawan-snack-packer]

[TW: Andor season 2 spoilers, mild jedi critique (but nothing "too anti-jedi"), I swear lol. Also this is a long post]

I’m going through the Andor tags and just wanted to throw in my two cents—

I’m seeing a lot of people saying things like “This is why the galaxy needs the Jedi!!” especially in response to what almost happened to Bix, and look, I get it. I understand the feeling. You see someone you love, a character who’s already been through hell, nearly suffer something unspeakable, and you want to believe there’s a big shining hero somewhere who could have stopped it. I get wanting that.

Desperately.

But honestly — and I say this with so much love — I think that’s missing the point of Andor.

Bix doesn’t need a Jedi.

She needs the Empire to fall.

Just like so many people in the galaxy.

The existence of Jedi wouldn’t have saved her. They never saved "everyone". That’s part of the tragedy of the galaxy long before the Empire ever rose. The Jedi were never a cure for systemic evil — they were a bandage, stretched thin and fraying, over a wound that was already hemorrhaging underneath.

They couldn’t be everywhere. They couldn’t protect everyone. They were never meant to be an army, or the galaxy’s emergency hotline, like some kind of cosmic 911 with lightsabers. They were an order of monks trying to hold back the tide with their bare hands.

And, yeah — I know. They did do good. They saved people. They fought for peace, they fought for justice, and they believed in something bigger than themselves. I'm not denying that. The galaxy would have been a lot worse off without the Jedi trying to shield it for as long as they could.

But, we also have to be honest: sometimes their actions made things worse. The Jedi got pulled into the Clone Wars — and in doing so, they unintentionally dragged neutral systems and innocent worlds into conflict. They became generals in a war they were never supposed to fight. They stood next to the Senate while it crumbled into corruption. And sometimes, trying to help, they made choices that played right into the hands of the people trying to tear everything down.

And that’s the heartbreak of it.

They were good — but they were never enough.

Because no single order, no group of "heroes," could be enough to fix a galaxy that was rotting from the inside.

Expecting the Jedi to fix everything is kind of like saying "the Avengers could fix anything."

Like—sure, you can punch a big threat in the face. You can stop an alien invasion or a rogue AI or a mad titan. But you can't punch poverty. You can't swing a lightsaber at systemic oppression. You can't duel your way out of generational inequality, or the slow grinding violence of a society built to serve a few at the expense of everyone else. You can't stop politicians selling people out for profit with a Force push. You can't heal a galaxy bleeding out under decades of neglect and cruelty just by being "brave" or "good".

The roots of the problem go too deep. They're built into the very foundations.

And the tragedy of the Jedi is that for all their power, for all their wisdom and discipline and sacrifice, they were still operating inside a system that was already collapsing. They were caretakers in a house with a rotting foundation. And sometimes, in trying to hold the walls up, they made the cracks worse.

And that's what Andor is showing us with brutal clarity:

No Jedi sweeping in with a lightsaber is going to save Bix.

No wise Master is going to show up to make the pain go away.

No ancient code can fix an empire built on exploitation and cruelty.

The people suffering under the Empire don’t need a mythical savior.

They need the Empire to fall.

They need justice that doesn’t rely on someone being "special enough" to wield a lightsaber.

They need change built by ordinary hands, stubborn hearts, and impossible choices.

Andor doesn't say "We needed heroes with powers." It says "We needed the people who were already bleeding to choose to stand up. And die. And fight. And win."

It says no outside savior is coming. No prophecy is going to unfold neatly in your favor. No chosen one is going to sweep in and fix the brokenness for you.

It's going to be you. And it's going to cost you everything you have. And you might not even live to see it change. But you fight anyway.

Because the galaxy won’t be saved by miracles.

It’ll be saved by people who refuse to stop hoping, even when hope looks like madness.

Andor isn't a story about how "we need the Jedi back". It's a story about how we need each other — even when it costs everything.

This isn’t me being anti-Jedi, or pro-Sith, or anything like that.

This is coming from someone who adores Jedi. Someone who loves The Clone Wars with their whole heart. Someone who has cried over Ahsoka’s heartbreak, over Anakin’s fall, over Obi-Wan carrying a war he never asked for on his back.

But Andor shows us a different part of the galaxy. It shows us a galaxy where people don’t have magic powers. Where people don’t have lightsabers to cut a clean path through corruption and cruelty. Where they don’t have ancient prophecies telling them they're destined to save the world. Where they don’t have Chosen Ones. Where they don’t have plot armor.

They have only themselves.

Only their grief.

Only their anger.

Only their aching, stubborn love for the people around them.

Only their desperate choice to stand up, to survive, to resist — even when it costs them everything.

And that’s what makes it hurt so much more. Because these aren’t superheroes or legendary warriors. These are ordinary people — bakers, mechanics, fishers, smugglers, orphans, parents, farmers, pilots, factory workers — staring down a machine so massive it barely notices they exist. And somehow, despite how small they are, despite how doomed it feels, they choose to fight anyway.

They choose to matter. That’s the heartbreak.

And that’s the point.

Saying “Well, a Jedi could have saved her” is — lovingly — missing what the show is trying to carve into us with every agonizing scene.

There is no cavalry coming here.

There is no one coming with a lightsaber to cut down your oppressors.

There is only you, and the people you trust, and the terrifying, beautiful decision to say no more even when the galaxy wants to crush you into dust.

Bix isn’t waiting for a Jedi.

Cassian isn’t waiting for a Jedi.

Brasso isn’t waiting for a Jedi.

Mon Mothma isn’t waiting for a Jedi.

None of them are waiting for a Jedi.

They are surviving in spite of their absence.

They are building rebellion from broken pieces, bloody hands, and stolen breaths.

And that’s what makes it powerful.

That’s what makes Andor hit so hard it feels like it rips you open.

It says: no one is coming to save you. So you save yourselves. And you save each other.

And maybe that’s how you light the fire.

[cepheustarot]

What do you need to hear right now?

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.

✧ Masterlist ✧ Paid readings

Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: At this stage of your life, you may feel tired of the routine, you feel that every day is similar to the previous one and you seem to be living a "Groundhog Day", little changes and everything seems boring and monotonous.  You want to break this endless cycle, break out of a vicious circle. Someone or something can also limit you and your abilities, because of this you may feel trapped in a cage. From this situation, you have an impulse to change something in your life, to bring new changes to your daily routine. This is certainly a reasonable decision, but the cards advise you not to act impulsively and spontaneously, cards recommend that you think for a while about the ideas that came to your mind. You should not only live for one day, but also think about the future, about the consequences that can await you. You do not need to listen to other people, give in to their words, because there is a risk to listen to them and do as society or your loved ones want. You may also have a desire to be the same as the people who inspire you, set the same goals, and lead such a lifestyle. It's worth thinking about, do you really want the same life or is this desire imposed? The best thing in such situations is to listen to yourself and your voice. Remember that only you know what is best for you, there is no need to rush, live and act at a pace that suits only you.

Pile 2: Most likely, you are now at a fork in the road, there are several paths and several variants in front of you. Everyone seems to be waiting for your answer and what choice you will make. The expectations of other people can put a lot of moral pressure on you, because of this you carefully weigh this or that choice, but do not come to a single answer. You may feel very sad, you may feel afraid of not meeting someone else's or your own expectations. You may also be afraid to waste time and effort without achieving the result you would like. Because of this, you feel very insecure, you may have severe anxiety and obsessive thoughts about the future, and a lot of self-doubt. Here the cards remind you that all your doubts are in vain, because you are a very strong and brave person who can move mountains. You are one of those who thinks through every step, you have a very developed intellect, you can be called a strategist to some extent, since you think through several plans at once in order to achieve what you would like one way or another. Remember what you have already achieved, what trials you have gone through and what results you have come to. You can also analyze your failures and highlight the reasons why something didn't work out (in this regard, you may feel guilty that you didn't try hard enough and could have achieved more. In fact, not everything depends on you, external factors also have a strong influence, so just remind yourself that you really gave your best, you did a good job and you can be proud of yourself).

Pile 3: Most likely, you had an unpleasant story with one person relatively recently. This situation has traumatized you or at least left a noticeable residue in your heart. You are very upset by this act, you may feel resentment or anger at this person, you may have a lot of thoughts like: "why did s/he do this to me?". After this incident, you now do not immediately open up to people, you may be too careful about new faces in your life, you may even become suspicious of a new acquaintance. Here the cards advise you to give yourself time to live through all the emotions after what happened. Sooner or later you will let go of this situation and the pain will gradually fade away, it will become easier for you to breathe and all these thoughts will no longer be there. Now the best thing you can do is to give love to yourself, and also accept it from those who want to give you their love and care. You should not be so skeptical of everyone, you need to try to understand the person and try to find something good in him, which at first glance may seem negative or suspicious. Don't cling to resentments and pain, just let them go.

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 💕

[kaijutegu]

I got Kaiju's ashes back. I'm having some of them fused into jewelry. Just having them physically home is a massive weight off of my chest. My heart is still on the ground but it's a little less bad than it was.

There was a comment on one of the recent posts- "The condolences of an internet stranger mean less than nothing." That's not true. That's not true at all. The condolences of internet strangers have been getting me through this- I keep going back and seeing names I recognize, names I don't, and realizing just how much she mattered.

One of the most important things that's keeping me going is her legacy. Kaiju mattered to a lot of people- not just me. She mattered to you. She mattered to my students. She mattered to the people she met at herp society. She mattered to the kids who met her when I took her to schools. She was more than just my best friend- she meant something to a lot of people. She showed people how smart and loving tegus can be, and she also showed them how cunning and adaptable they are. There are people out there who know about the threat of invasives in the Everglades now, because of her. There are people who improved the lives of their own animals because of her. There are little kids and big kids who made real, genuine connections to her.

But it wasn't just the connections she made- I made them too, and figuring out who I am without her in my life is pretty impossible because so much of the good I have in my life came from her. She was my icebreaker, and she was part of how I met people. I started blogging because of her, and because of that, I met some of the people I love most in this world. I wouldn't have ever met two of my very closest friends without her, people I can't imagine not having in my life. She helped me take care of myself on days when I couldn't get out of bed for any other reason, and she never expected anything from me. Having her in my life made me happy in a way that nothing else ever has. I don't know who I am anymore, because I don't want to be the person I was before I had her. As medically miserable as I am now, I used to be a lot worse. She changed that.

Kaiju and I had ten, almost eleven incredible years together. It wasn't enough, but no amount of time would have been. In the end, she died warm, comfortable, and being petted by someone she cared about. She wasn't alone, and didn't seem scared or agitated. The last thing she knew was love, and that's all I could want for her.

For me, I just want my best friend back. I know that's not gonna happen, but it doesn't stop the want.

[himboskywalker]

Really really curious what your thoughts are on the last three episodes of Andor? I’m assuming you watched them since you reblogged the Mothma speech.

I most certainly have, and I've been trying to parse through a response for the last couple of days. Any articulation of just how impressed I am with episode 8 and 9 feels lacking when I firmly believe there is going to be a plethora of research published on Andor's presentation of Imperialist regimes and revolution.

But firstly, I am so immensely shocked Disney greenlit season 2. In the era of constant censorship and totalitarian response to protest I am blown away Disney executives allowed season 2 to air without requiring heavy changes.

On social media I've seen people getting really upset over lots of Star Wars fans/viewers missing the direct parallels between the Ghorman Massacre and Palestine. And that is certainly a parallel Gilroy is clubbing people over the head with, but I also don't think it's as simple as that. Andor isn't commentary on a single atrocity or a single imperialist state, and I think to reduce it to a singular horror is reductionist. Because Andor (and greater Star Wars) is a spotlight on Empire and totalitarianism and authoritarianism in many forms.

I absolutely think Andor is a dialogue on Palestine, especially with Mothma's speech on standing up for truth and calling the "Ghorman Plaza Riot" for what it is, genocide. But I also think, with the heavy handed French resistance aesthetics and the hiring of French actors to pronounce the Ghorman language as phonetically French and ALL of the direct allusions to World War II, we can also take it for what it is, France and Poland and the greater theater of Nazi Germany. I also think it's Tiananmen Square, and Myanmar, and so many protests in the United States I can't begin to list them all. It is the authoritarian propaganda machine and twisting of truth and turning the public against innocents and peoples fighting for freedom. Is is every iota of CIA involvement in Cuba, Haiti, Venezuela, Syria, Iran, Iraq, Cambodia, Laos, Brazil, Indonesia, Afghanistan, Nicaragua...I could literally go on for pages.

Andor is also representative of the state alienating and criminalizing the other, of which every major political power on this planet is guilty of. But it is especially the United States terrorizing immigrants while extorting their 'usefulness'. It is sexual abuse and crimes against humanity committed by ICE and other government enforcers.

It is the constant propaganda machine, unceasing and unforgiving, which will always seek to demonize anyone who resists. It is media censorship and ad campaigns and flat out blatant LIES. Because truth is freedom, truth is a weapon.

I think my favorite part of Andor is the unflinching examination of what it takes to resist though. I think a modern penchant, especially on the Internet, is many people's obsession with a moral high ground. The constant need to be utterly right and the expectation of moral purity from others and ourselves equates people frozen by inaction and the fear of getting their hands dirty or others perceiving them as wrong or bad. It's why there is so much infighting in leftist spaces, because of disagreements of doctrine and moral code, and that refusal to give ground and work together, it means the Empire wins. But revolutionaries of the past were not squeaky clean apostles of goodness. A spy in the French resistance killed people, maybe even innocent people. In that particular war, western society tends to paint over it all, and agrees that the fight for freedom was justified, and that the people who took up that fight were good. This is because we won that war. But revolution is a bloody business, resistance is not clean or pure, made up of saints and Luke Skywalkers.

The price of freedom is paid by people like Andor. It's Luthen's monologue completely, "I burn my decency for someone else's future, I burn my life to make a sunrise I know I'll never see."

In all, Andor, but especially the last few episodes, I think is a horrifically accurate examination of what systematic oppression and violence under totalitarianism looks like. I think it is also an unflinching examination of what resistance actually is. No one escapes a regime morally unscathed, Palpatine did not build the Empire from nothing nor alone, and the unfortunate price of freedom and justice is not moral purity. The Rebel Alliance are not pacifists, nor were the Jedi for that matter. So what is the price paid, to fight fascism, totalitarianism, imperialism, authoritarianism etc.? What is the price to fight, for yourself, but mostly for the people you love? It is everything. And I think the question Andor ultimately asks is, is it worth it? And I think the answer is simple but not easy, yes.

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

genre(s) -> angst, fluff, non-idol, hybrid au, poly au paring(s) -> choi san x reader x jung wooyoung warning(s) -> abuse, mentions of physical health, cursing, etc. words -> 3K

abstract -> is readoption really a good idea...

y/n's perspective

I admit… I needed to get myself together. I should’ve when he broke up with me in the first place. Instead, I relied on working and even then I hit a brick wall. 

When I got San I had an idea for this novel. 

Hybrids who rebelled against society’s expectations. It made me think what if they fought to be equal without having to live like animals?

I was at another block, however… and even Wooyoung refused to see me again. 

So I was shocked when I heard from Kun that San wanted to speak with me. I was still looking for someone to take him but every look goes away when I say he was anything other than a green-coded hybrid.

He’s an exotic hybrid… and even then no one wanted to even meet him. 

Why? He’s such a pretty hybrid… I could only imagine how much more he would be if he was happy and healthy…

I soon heard the door open and I saw him. I knew he was a yellow code now but seeing him in a different uniform made me smile even if it was slightly. 

“Hello,” I said and he looked nervous. “Adopt Wooyoung,” he said. It threw me off… I’ve thought about it. Especially while being rejected by his owners.

With how I was recently I couldn’t take care of a hybrid after failing with San. “I don’t know if you know how he is… but he’s been in the medical wing for over a month now. He was happy when he smelled you on me when I first met him. Now… he’s like you” he said and I was confused. Like me?

“Lifeless eyes” he muttered. Was that how I looked? Wonyoung compared me to a zombie while Johnny said I look like the trauma patients he sees daily. Yuta even compared me to heartbroken teenagers wanting a tattoo for the first time. 

He, however, saw me as lifeless. Maybe that's the more accurate one…

“Please” he pleaded and I didn’t know if I could. “If it isn’t too much to ask…” He wandered… he looked nervous to ask me. 

“I want you to adopt me again too,” he said and I was shocked. He wanted me to adopt him again? “San, if you want to be home with Wooyoung, I'll look for someone to take you both–” even though I knew that would be near impossible “--I’ll make sure the two of you are together,” I said and he shook his head. 

“I want… I want you to make me happy” he said, bringing my broken promise again. “I don’t think I can–” “You can! Please” he pleaded and I saw how much healthier he looked. I knew his behavior was better. 

“San, I don’t want you to be unhappy in my home. You lasted two days… I don’t think I'm a good person to help–” “No one else ever will. I admit I don’t like humans… I don’t trust you. You did however try…” he said.

I looked at Renjun who was by the door. He smiled softly.  “Kun agrees,” he said and I sighed. I smiled softly. 

“Then, I'll make sure to change your mind, San. Not all humans are bad!” 

san's perspective

I wasn’t in favor of being domesticated… trusting someone who could very well end up killing me one day. It was better than living in a cage… or was it?

I’m basically leaving behind the metal bars for luxurious walls. 

I’ll truly be a pet now…

She smiled softly but her eyes showed anxiety. They shook slightly… it didn’t seem like she was scared of me. So what was she scared of?

We were now waiting for the fox to come out. She wouldn’t stop bouncing her leg as we waited in silence. Almost a suffocating silence. 

“y/n-nie!!” I heard a yell as we stood up and he ran up to her. Easily picked her up and swung her as he held her tight. She was surprised but laughed. She eased up in his arms. 

“I’m sorry they abandoned you, Woo,” she said as she rubbed his back and buried her face in his shoulders. His smile turned soft instead of an excited grin. 

“You’ll be better than them!” he exclaimed. 

“I’ll try my best,” she said and he chuckled. “You already are!” he said. These two were close… Why did I choose again to help the fox?

“Wooyoung, you’ve met San right?” she asked as he put her down and smiled at me. “He’s my new best friend!!” he said… I did not agree with that.

“Let’s go home,” she said. Home? I guess it was the closest I'll ever get.

We got back to the place. It was the same…

“Woah!! It's a big upgrade from your old place!!” Wooyoung said. “Mhmm! Oohh, you guys can have your own room. I know San wouldn’t feel comfortable maybe?” she suggested and we nodded. I did not want to share with the hyper fur ball. 

“I still don’t understand why they left you there,” she said and he smiled softly. “Well, they didn't… They left me at the Seoul Hybrid Adoption Center. I was too much for them to handle so they took me for treatment to the kennel” he said with his ears down. 

He was in the same place I was. 

“I did meet this doberman!! He was so cool, I kinda miss him. For sure he got adopted though!!” he yelled. Just how loud was he…

“y/n-nie!!” he said, grabbing her attention. “Are you any better?” he asked and she smiled softly. “I’m getting there,” she said. Better from what?

“Go get situated!  Oh, and San the bags are still in your room so you can choose anything you want. Wooyoung I’ll get you some more clothes soon” she said as she went to her room. 

“She got you clothes?” he asked and I nodded. “What did you mean by better?” I asked and he sighed. “She’s… a lonely kid,” he said sadly. 

Lonely?

“Her parents don’t really give her any attention. They just give her money to survive… She disappointed them by becoming a writer. I remember her sobs at the old apartment. She was just in high school and she lived by herself. She had no one to take care of her when she was sick or to come back with warm food. She could barely even cook herself” he said.

The trust fund kid was lonely…

I promised Wooyoung I'd make them happy. Y/n still didn't have my trust nor did he but I wanted to protect her.

“There was this really bad time she came back completely drenched in rain crying outside her door. She came back from school after her activities… Did you know she was a student council president? Ooh!! She was also the president of the yearbook in her class–" "You're getting distracted” I cut off. He really knew a lot about her and talked in admiration. 

“Oh… yeah. She came back and it was a heavy rain alert that day. She came back very late and luckily nothing bad happened to her. But she forgot her key inside and the services of the apartment were closed for how late it was. She cried so much the next day that her eyes were red and her cheeks puffy. My owner wasn't home so I talked to her. She didn't want my help but I helped break into her apartment and made her warm food.-- '' he said. I could see his worry.

“--she barely even kept food in her fridge. She had a huge fever that night so I stayed over to take care of her. When I told my owner they called her parents but they didn’t really care. They called her later scolding her for being careless with her health and not even her mother came to see her” he said and I felt a little bad. 

A kid in high school? She would’ve been young… she must've felt… abandoned.

“She would always go out with friends but come back only to cry. I could never understand it. She told me she felt lonely. She had no one despite having friends who took care of her. She would always lie to them.” he said and I sighed. 

“They had to have known,” I said and he nodded. “Her closest friends are Wonyoung, Chenle, and Shotaro. She has a lot of friends but… she never seems to ever be happy” he explained. 

I’ve heard of Shotaro… and I've seen Wonyoung. Who was Chenle?

“I didn’t know she knew Kun or any of them in the facility,” he explained. “She won’t feel lonely though!!” he exclaimed and I was curious about how things would play out. 

“Not with us around. You’ll also fulfill your promise!” he explained. I nodded as I followed him to the hall of our rooms. 

Someone who is left alone in their own thoughts… Was that someone who could be trusted?

What Wooyoung said didn’t make sense. She seemed happy… livelier around him. I did notice she had pathetic attempts at cooking, and she was busier recently. 

She didn’t seem lonely.

“Do you have to go out tonight?” Wooyoung asked her and she only smiled. “I do. Wonyoung has been restless recently. She’s having me go to this party tonight” she said and I almost scoffed at her excuse. 

Trust fund kid… yeah right, she wasn’t lonely. She was probably only bored. 

Probably get bored of me.

“You have San to keep you company okay?” she said and I realized how she was dressed. In a designer dress, jewelry is probably as expensive as a house.

“She’s really pretty” he muttered to himself as the elevator closed and she waved us goodbye. “Get a grip. She’s a human” I said and he sighed. “I know… but how can I help myself, when I've had this crush for years now?” he asked and I sighed. 

The fox was wrapped around her pinky…

“I’m gonna start cooking for us!” he said changing the subject. He started becoming the chef of the apartment which y/n allows. He even ordered groceries with recipes he wanted to try out. She’s even gotten him a collection of recipe books. 

I was going back to my room when I noticed her room was open. 

I decided to go inside… I never saw her room. It had a mountain of clothes on her bed and a bunch of shoes on the floor. 

What caught my attention was the bunch of papers… I picked one up. It was a story… I saw on the pile the title was ‘Circus’

“Get a grip, Kyong! Humans are nothing but monsters. They’ll only eventually hurt us. We need to escape this hell hole!” he yelled in desperation.  Young had enough of entertaining people whilst he got hurt, punished, berated, and so much more.  “But how? We would never survive out there Yong”  Kyong said as he tried to soothe the burning sensation on his arms from his punishment earlier.  “Then we’ll die trying. I think it's time hybrids created a revolution–

She was a writer. 

She was also human… not an experiment gone wrong decades ago to be made as a pet. 

Yet, how did she know how hybrids viewed humans? The inner desire to live freely but can’t because of survival.

I don’t how long I was here but I heard Wooyoung screaming my name.

I left her room bewildered and curious. 

“Foods ready!” He said and I smiled. “Hey, Wooyoung? You mentioned once she was a writer?” I asked and he nodded.

“She mentioned wanting to study journalism. I wonder if she did… I remember my old owners buying newspapers and I even saw her name! And then one day I saw her book on the shelves!!” He said proud, almost like her number one fan.

“I convinced them to get me her books… I only ever read two of them. One of them is about hybrids and humans hunting each other, the other is about a bunch of short stories in one book. Different stories on different news stories of abuse on hybrids” he said.

She wrote mainly on hybrids…

“She’s known as a hybrid activist,” he explained. “Then why would she adopt us? Wouldn’t that be out of her morality?” I asked confused and he shook his head.

“I asked her one day if she ever thought of adoption. She said yeah… but only if it were to help a hybrid out and if she was in a good position to care for one” he explained.

She did help me…

We ate as Wooyoung kept talking about y/n… he knew so much about her despite not seeing her for years. “Oh there was also this one time she… uhm San?” he asked and I waited for him to ask what he wanted. 

“Shouldn’t she already be back? It's pretty late” he said and I noticed it was dark out now. Where was she?

“Is she gonna be okay?” Wooyoung asked me but I didn’t know. At least an hour passed when we heard the elevator. “y/n!!” Wooyoung yelled hopefully.

It was a man with y/n on his shoulder. She was drunk…

“Hello… unfortunately y/n here is drunk,” he said and she giggled. “I’m not drunk!” she said, clearly drunk. 

“I’ll take her!” Wooyoung said and the guy almost looked reluctant. “Be careful with her okay? She’s had a long night” he said as he carefully placed her on Wooyoung’s back and I noticed she had a jacket around her waist covering her. 

Were they together? 

“Please take good care of her” he asked and we nodded as we walked to her room. “Why’d you take so long y/n?” Wooyoung asked and she hummed. “I already told you. My hybrids hate me… I doubt they’d want me back so soon” she muttered and Wooyoung and I shared a look. 

“What makes you think that?” he asked. 

“San, did I mention he was pretty? He almost looks like one of those hybrids you’ll see in modeling… maybe even those influencer stars. I… wanna find him a good home…” she said and I felt myself freeze… find me a home?

“What? But… What about me?” Wooyoung asked… “You said you couldn’t take care of hybrids… you’re always in your shop anyway to care for them, Yuta,” she said… she must've mistaken him for the guy who brought her here. 

“What about the fox?” I asked and he smiled softly. “He’s just like I remember… but I don’t think I can separate the two. Even as much as I missed Woo’s comfort” she said and I didn’t want to leave. 

“What if San doesn’t want to leave?” I asked and she sighed. “There's no way he wants to stay… he’s only there for Wooyoung. He forced himself to even greet me… he even flinches when I enter the room,” she said. 

“You should get some rest,” Wooyoung said and she nodded. “I’ll miss them…” she said as she curled up on her bed and we heard her change her breathing. 

“We should watch over her to make sure she’s okay,” Wooyoung said and I nodded.  “I don’t want to leave this place,” I said and he looked at me shocked. 

“Why are you surprised?” I asked and he shook his head. “It's just that… well you do immediately shift when she enters a room. You change your posture… you become almost submissive. It's like you're trying to be an obedient hybrid” he explained… 

“It just seems like you aren’t comfortable here…” he explained and I sighed. “I don’t think I've felt comfortable in years, Wooyoung,” I said and he sighed. 

“Do you think she’ll actually give us away?” he asked and I felt panicked at the thought.

“I really hope not” 

y/n's perspective

Waking up a hangover isn’t something anyone enjoys. 

“Oh! You’re awake!” Wooyoung said excited like he always does… I couldn’t be mad at his happiness. “Wooyoung try being a little more calm. Her head probably hurts” I heard San? 

“Ah, sorry. Here you should drink this” he said as he gave me a cup of what I assumed to be the hangover solution I keep in the kitchen. 

“I also have breakfast ready,” Wooyoung said and I nodded. “Let me get out of yesterday’s clothes,” I said and he nodded. 

I got out of the dress I was in and washed off the makeup I had on. I put on more comfortable clothes for the day.

I now find myself in the kitchen where I see my two hybrids waiting for me. “You shouldn’t get out so late like that. We were worried” Wooyoung said and I was shocked. 

They were worried for me? “Oh… I'm sorry” I apologized. 

“y/n?” San asked and I looked at him confused. “I wanna thank you for everything,” he said as he bowed. “What? San–” he soon even got down on his knees confusing me as to why he was suddenly doing this.

“I don’t remember the last time a human offered me the kindness you have. Please, just give me time to get used to this new lifestyle. I wanna give being a pet a chance” he said and I was confused as to what got in his head. 

“San you aren’t a pet to me,” I said and his ears twitched. “The both of you aren’t pets… I told you when I first adopted you. All I wanted is a companion” I said and he sat up to look up at me. 

“A companion?” he asked and I nodded. “A friend… I don’t expect anything in return. I promise” I said and he nodded. I soon felt a tight grip around me. I felt the familiar warmth that often comforted me years ago. 

“Please don’t get rid of us!” Wooyoung yelled and I petted his head. “I promise,” I said… maybe I mentioned what I was thinking yesterday. I looked at San who only stared… I stretched out a hand to him, silently telling him to join us. 

He hugged me and Wooyoung tightly as well. 

“I promised to make you happy… and I extend that to you too, Wooyoung”

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