#wonder if there's a way I could try and cultivate that

[wei-meddling-wuxian]

nutcasewithaknife #maybe#just maybe because im never getting over jiang cheng and jin ling's relationship but#think of jin ling who for once does need him#think of jiang cheng realising he is needed by this child who is his favorite person in the world#maybe he never got to be a hero in the way people see heroes usually#but jin ling's jiujiu will always be his hero won't he?#i made myself cry oh my godss

miss-fiery #it all centers on the fact that no one ever gives him the chance#that instead of people needing him. it is him that needs protection#for Madam Yu it's simply because he is her only son#for WWX there are several factors starting from the base relationship to the promise to the dying request of TAKE CARE OF HIM#for WQ it's a bit complicated. he has every right to deny her. he social obligations that scream ofc he wouldn't help#because just as much SHE has a family to protect. HE has something to protect as well#so to circumvent the mess of him being in put in such a conflict she just decided that NO he wouldn't#all this servers to enforce to him that his help isn't needed#that he is always the one being saved#which put the whole core reveal so devastating to him because that one time he could protect someone he failed#the one moment JC decided to try. he failed#jiang cheng#it's sad tragic grape hours tonight boys

viterbofangirllovestheuntamed #the amount of agency stolen from jiang cheng is truly astounding#abusive childhood separation anxiety the whole golden core thing political manipulation emotional manipulation#HELL even zidian being bequeathed to him#for fuck's sake…

heavymetalalchemist #and boy how it must hurt SO MUCH for the clan motto to be attempt the impossible#and then no one thinks he can even attempt it#or they think that he won't attempt it#and that kind of thing really sinks into you#because to jiang cheng it's everyone thinking he can't#and maybe they're right! but he's been beaten down even from trying#he doesn't get the motto and he can't surpass wwx and he can't do it#and no one ever gives him the encouragement of you should go for it!#well#except for arguably nmj when they show up in qinghe and nmj says he'd heard of them doing great things

jungyismom #this is. this is such a Thing#and you watch it eat at him#more and more#every time#especially as he goes on showing himself to BE competent and adaptable and determined#he can be all these things have all these heroic qualities#rebuild his sect almost entirely on his own at a ridiculously young age#help win a war#successfully if turbulently be a bridge between wwx and the cultivation world until wwx stops listening and stops letting him#and still after achieving all of these impossible things#the people whose approval he needs most#don't trust him enough to even extend the possibility that he might be able to be what they need#what do they see him as? he must wonder#a useless boy even after he's become a respected sect leader#an impotent figurehead#someone unworthy#and the way that they tell him they wont even ask for help makes it so very clear that all parties already know#its not i dont want to put a burden on you or i'm not sure you could help me#it's this is the help i need. i already know you can't give it.#it's not even patronizing#the dismissal is so complete and devastating#i just. phew#he tried so hard and got so far and in the end it didn't even matter#EXCEPT IT DID to SO MANY PEOPLE because he DID rebuild his sect!!!!#but that's not the hero's tale we're told.#god i just….jc man….jc#jiang cheng

ithacanradio #i mean he does get to try his hand at being the hero once and he fucking nails it#single handedly protecting the jiang sect aside- im taking about the time he decides to get caught to save wwx#and the way that they play it actually is so in line with the rest of this analysis: we the audience see it. but no one else knows it#and jiang cheng himself won't tell bc by now he is used to playing his part#the cold ruthless 'not that noble' sect leader#but WE know#that not only does he have potential#he truly pulls all the stops sometimes he just won't let people know it and so- much in the same way it happened with yiling laozu-#everyone's opinion of him isn't who he really is#the untamed#i still dont think he would have managed to save the wens tbh but i think he would have tried at least if they had communicated with him

I’m sort of constantly thinking about the CQL moment after Jiang Cheng visits the Burial Mounds, when he asks Wen Qing why she didn’t come to him to ask for help and she’s just like “Well, would you have?” and that just sort of… hangs there, because the audience knows the answer is no 

but like!! I think part of the tragedy of Jiang Cheng is that not only is he doomed to never quite be the hero, no one ever trusts him to try. Mme Yu (and maybe also Jiang Fengmian?) doesn’t trust he (or anyone tbh) could possibly really love someone brighter and stronger than he is. Wei Wuxian doesn’t trust that he could somehow learn to remake himself in the aftermath of losing his golden core, or learn to handle the knowledge of what Wei Wuxian gave him. neither he nor Wen Qing trust that maybe, if someone asked him directly for help, if someone just said they needed him, he could find a way to stand up to the other clans. Wei Wuxian doesn’t trust, after he comes back, that Jiang Cheng might still love him anyway.

all the situations are complicated– Mme Yu and Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing are acting out of their own suspicions and insecurities and feelings– but they all explicitly make clear that they are also acting out of a conviction that Jiang Cheng can’t do it. he isn’t good enough, he isn’t strong enough, it’s not even worth attempting. and maybe– even very likely!– they’re right. but he never gets to try. no one, including and especially Jiang Cheng, ever gets to know for sure. 

[melaninfury]

TRAILBLAZER: Your next blessings and developments

This is a reading about Blessings & Developments. My entire page is adults only so please respect those boundary’s and consider it a warning. To start this reading off please take a cleansing breath. Focus on a pile below and choose your message.

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Now that we have taken the time to choose please understand this is a general not personal reading. This is for general guidance on your path and serious consideration should be confirmed by a personal reading. Thank you. Use your discernment wisely 🧿.

Pile 1 BLESSINGS - Two of Sticks, Seven of Baskets, Three of Baskets. DEVELOPMENTS - Black Herman (Magician), Daughter of Knives, Three of Coins, Mother of Coins.

CALL ME, BEEP ME

Yes I did hear the beeps and the “I’m your basic average girl and I’m here to save the world, I’m Kim possible” lmao I love the way spirit communicates because I can here with a message that everything you dream of is possible. Something particular you’ve been manifesting on this path is about to show up and take you from basic to premium subscription if you catch my drift. Your taking charge. Your becoming fearless, your leaning into your sun - show your shine unapologetically. Your next development is self mastery, improvement, skill building, ambition and independence.

Your going yo have quite the manifestation pull this next month or two, you may have gemini, leo or cancer placements - these transits have planets like Venus (elevation, beauty, desires), Uranus (innovation, quirkiness, independence in group settings/community), Jupiter (abundance, expansion, optimism). Regardless you are having alot of downloads and intuitive nudges about what direction is best. This isn't something others around you get much or understand how you do your thing on your own. I see you surprising yourself and people around you with your upgrades, innovativeness and cultivation of abundance. Your very intuitive and you'll be guided by your higher power and spirits quite closely but your the one with your hands on the steering wheel. Your planting seeds of practical and consistent income also. Your gonna also be able to rest and establish routine and boundaries, I could see how you may struggle with this new energy interns off fear or shock, yes it happening yes that fast - yes your a master manifestor lol. Your very stable in this new stage, your developing a very grounded and expansive energy. Your gonna spread your wings and fly pile 3.

Your blessings include a huge internal expansion. I wonder if this pile has some jupiter/sag influence. Your energy feels like its about to journey across the sky. You have some great plans and ideas that bring you closer to being a visionary than you think. You have a very reflective trailblazing energy. You internalize experiences than find ways to take your critiques and reflections to growth and improvements. Try understanding which 3 blessings or goals are most important right now and make tangible steps. You may have lots of thoughts and a little confusion come about but I see you having fearlessness and ambition. Plan something for the future because is a great idea...thank you

New friends and experiences, general happiness and joy, travel locally or planning a vacation or trip may manifest. You have

Pile 2 BLESSINGS - Daughter of Sticks, Daughter of Coins, Son of Baskets, Two of Sticks, RailRoad Bill. DEVELOPMENTS - Son of Coins, Father of Sticks, Seven of Knives, Dr.Buzzard (Justice).

POSITIONS

To say your developing would be an understatement. You have a new foundation in a good amount of areas of your life. Your blessings are bountiful and they are very strategized towards some goal or multiple goals that you’ve worked on. This could be you being fresh out of college or right after a move, either way your in a fresh new youthful like energy. Its possible that your flourishing after a period of issues and setback so this new energy is exciting and a warm welcome. You in perfect alignment with your higher power in waving the paintbrush to display your future.

There is an energy here of you being set up to bulldoze into a completely new horizon. This gives a strong energy of a solid yet dream like plan that feels spiritually led. Others around you may not be able to see the internal changes, let alone whats to come. So do not be discouraged by outside noise. You are being asked as these blessings come in to remain grounded and motivated. Its yours trust that so the only question is what you can do in the mean time while the totality of the blessings are manifested. You are in alignment thats not longer a process you chase, chase the bag. Practical life could have upgrades, your routine, home even workplace environment will glow up. Regardless of the process - move forward with strength and confidence. Take the bull by the horns.

I do see where some of you here are starting creative passion projects, platforms. That is such a great development for you. Because its aligned on your destiny path. Its something that enlightens your mind, body and spirit. Some of you here are content creators, something creative I'm getting something non-traditional that people around you family mainly, don't see that value in. As someone with experience in this - its normal. Its not a sign that your in the wrong place or can't achieve your success. It by no means is going to be easy. But the journey to mastering yourself is not paved with others validation.

Some of you will actually be getting a new position, it could definitely be at a job or for a career. I see you being chosen and seen for something you do well. Don not forget to plan to continue securing your life and position. You are elevating so new heights comes new territory. There is a need for discipline. You are improving and becoming more well rounded. You may have taken others spot or attracted green eyes - up your protection. Some of you are already in a defensive energy. Be sure not to overdo it, and stay calm knowing its already yours.

Pile 3 BLESSINGS - Daughter of Knives, Big Mama (Sun), Six of Coins, Nine of Wands, Nine of Baskets, The Big House (Tower) DEVELOPMENTS - Dr. Buzzard (Justice), John Horse (Emperor), Miss Robinson (Devil), Father of Knives, Ace of Coins, Ace of Knives, Daughter of Sticks.

MILLION DOLLAR BABY

Wow my pile 3 some of you may have already been in the process of working on a big development in your life. Some of you here are graduating getting scouted or your elevating to the next level. I think its also something you've been struggling with and working towards for a while. You gonna receive some information or critical news that's going to bring some great joy into your life. This feels like you finally going to get a yes or go towards something. There could be someone of you who live a life or want a career in the public eye. Your gonna be very popular. If you want that.

Some of y'all are about to find a sugar wallet. You could also just receive alot of help, money or guilt s from people who like you and want to be around you also. You are gonna feel a little peacocked and cautious. Which is a good thing and its warranted. You have wish fulfillment type of blessings and way more than one coming into your life. You elevating to a degree that the change is irreversible.

Theres something about your awareness is going to shift into a open psychic and logical energy. Your gonna be able to read and observe people and situations for what they are. This feel almost like a spiritual download. Some of you are going to awaken your intuition to a degree - your going to get a dream, download or vision about a step you need to move forward and achieve victory. You do havce an ancestor, a grandmother like energy that will help guide and bring wisdom towards the next steps you'll take. That insight is going to be invaluable. It's going to be the push you need to go claim your glory. For a good amount of you her its in the spotlight or in a community where eyes are on you. You receiving your breakthrough , congratulations.

There is a master and development that comes with the developments to your blessings. Some of you will be added by some powerful this could be another ancestor or a authority figure who is going to guide you away from people, places and things that do not serve you. There is an energy here of enemies that are going to try to get in you head and throw you off your game. This is why I think some of you are involved in the industry its a familiar to the music industry. Like some of you here could be scouted or signed, promoted in a way to a position that makes you be seen in the spotlight, some of you have platforms thats your running where you teach or set example for others. I do get an energy where some of you are getting so much insight on how to defeat a challenge or person that may be in the way of what your trying to achieve through your blessings. Your learning ways to protect yourself from danger, evil and people who don't have your best interest at heart., Your learning how to stand alone in your own authority without seeking out others to stand in your place. You are finding your own power to weld.

You going to be getting some money and manifestations that take you to the next level. I do think a new job or source of income is definitely coming in for you here. You might get more ideas and planning will run smoothly. This clarity and newfound stability will allow you the motivation and direction. You will know exactly how to flow with your purpose. You will get some truth also, revelations surrounding people around you and what changes are going to set in once you move forward. The time as come for you to lead, be revolutionary and take the best course of action. You got this trust yourself and move.

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©️ All Rights Reserved @melaninfury

[daisywords]

wish I could get (and stay) in the zone with writing like I can with drawing

[whos-the-seme]

okay but I kinda need read a fic where Shen Yuan is wife plotted (AGAIN) by some random papapa plant (dammit Airplane--) and he basically falls into a floating coma or something. on a hunt for some rare herbs with liu qingge, he's lured by the sound of his Binghe's (his lost little lamb) voice and ends up ensnared.

okay, imagine that he's being held high in the air by these vines, just asleep, and nothing can wake him, even after liu qingge cuts the monster plant down to get him. he's just sleeping, rosy-cheeked, unwakeable.

peak lords panic, and start trying to figure it out what this rare plant is. sqh wracks his brain somewhat and somewhat remembers this plot line.

they come to the conclusion that its the everlasting dreams flower or some shit. basically traps the victim in their dreams while it sucks out their qi until the person dies of dehydration/starvation or qi loss, whichever kills them first (sometimes, its not the latter, and if the person is a cultivator, they can last a while before their qi is fully drained enough that they can no longer practice inedia but also haven't died yet). meanwhile, the person won't even care because their dreams are so sweet, that they don't want to leave.

the only way to cure it? true love's song. someone who truly knows and loves the sleeper needs to sing something from the heart, and if it's pure enough or something, it can pierce through the pleasant dreams of the person and wake them up. yqy and lqg instantly become flustered, but both of them can't help but secretly wonder how it would feel to have Xiao jiu/shen-shixiong wake up at their song.

they confer with the rest of the peak lords a little outside of shen yuan's resting rooms on the Qian Cao peak, and yqy decides to sing a little lullaby he used to sing to Xiao jiu when they were still on the streets. he goes in, his voice is a steady but a bit nervous, but he croons that shit out. airplane can't believe his fucking ears. yqy could honestly be an idol its not fair wtf-- only, sqh knows he can't dance to save his fucking life, so.

when yqy finishes, he waits, but his heart sinks when Xiao jiu doesn't so much as stir. he hurries out of the room but sqh notices how the tips of his ears are red in embarrassment. of course, even when he still had his memory, Xiao jiu wanted nothing to do with him, why did he think it would change now, he just--

lqj goes in next. he murmurs a song that he constantly hears sqq sometimes strumming on his guqin, thinking that means sqq must love the song. he's not sure what else he can do, he doesn't know how to sing from the heart, but the feelings he has for his shixiong... he has to at least try to wake him.

he doesn't wake. lqj walks out in defeat.

airplane who has been wracking his brain all this time because he was trying to think of requirements for awakening so he wasn't paying attention suddenly jumps up. he doesn't mind the startled glances that the other peak lords give him.

he just remembered!

the song didn't have to be a romantic song or anything. the love for the sleeper didn't have to be romantic love, at all! he remembered this plot line that he added about binghe trying to wake one of his wives, but it was one of the wives' sisters that woke her, because she truly loved her sister deeply. causing binghe to realize that his love was becoming shallow, in that it wasn't enough anymore or blah blah blah. he scrapped that plot line and that plant after he got a ton of bad reviews for even suggestion that lbh's love (pillar) wasn't big enough and so he had lbh fix it with papapa, but whatever!

he shivered.

anyway, the story has been so warped over time that its only told that it has to be a romantic lover. but it didn't have to be.

he had an idea. he loved Shen Yuan! despite the rocky start, their shared transmigration and experiences led them to form a closer relationship, and Shen Yuan was his best friend. he knew him wholly, both in his bitchiness of Cucumber-bro of their old lives, and in the snarky-masquerading-as-pretentious SQQ he was in their new lives. He knew him as a whole of Shen Yuan, not as Xiao Jiu, or as the original goods.

and also, both he and Shen Yuan had discovered they both liked some similar songs during one of their weekly private meetings a few weeks ago, while Shen Yuan was there under the guise of planning their eventual escapes, but was actually just drinking up all his wine and ransacking his snacks.

he's got this! (he hopes.) (he would quite not like his bro to die from an unwakeable coma.)

confidently, with incredulous stares following him, he walks into the room and sits at shen yuan's bedside. and proceeded to sing, as smoothly as he could, a vocaloid love song. if nothing else, it might shock Shen Yuan awake to hear a random ass vocaloid song in his dreams. the lyrics are actually pretty sweet and soft, but he can't stop imagining the music behind it, making it funnier than it should be to sing it.

[Shen Yuan, whose dreamscape has become completely synchronized to his current living conditions and so he dreams of the serene bamboo hut: *sitting at his table with binghe pouring him more tea* *sudden hatsune fucking miku disturbing the atmosphere*

Shen Yuan: 👁️👄👁️]

while he tries not to giggle as the song comes to an end, the stares of the other peak lords boring into his back from the doorway (he can just hear them thinking, "yqy and lqg couldn't wake him up but you think you can?" but maybe that's just his imagination. or maybe they think the song is shitty, what does he know--), shen yuan's eyes flutter open.

airplane, who didn't think this would actually actually work (though he hoped), gapes at him. Shen Yuan, eyes half lidded from sleep, gazes back.

"uh..."

"The everlasting dreams flower, really? That was a really good plot line, can't believe you, ah," Shen Yuan yawns, "dropped it in favor of more papapa as always, you shitty author." He can't catch a break. Why did he wake this guy up again?

"he's awake!?" multiple voices cry out.

THUMP. yqy has fainted.

they both have forgotten their audience. liu qingge has goes outside to punch a tree. the other peak lords are in various states of disarray, disbelief, and discomfort. liu minyan has appeared out of nowhere to take notes. mu qingfāng rolls his eyes and comes in to check shen-shenanigans's meridians.

"Can't believed that shit worked, honestly," Shen Yuan says, eyeing one of the older disciples try to drag YQY to a cot. he is starting to rouse. "hatsune miku, really?"

"aw! well now you know how deeply and purely I love you, shixiong!"

THUMP. YQY has fainted again.

more sounds of breaking trees from outside. mu qingfāng warily calls out a warning to avoid his good medicinal trees, thanks.

after a while of conversation, with eyes closing a bit once more, from exhaustion, rather than the plant poison, Shen Yuan gives Shang Qinghua a small smile. As his eyes flutter shut again, he says, "I love you too, bro."

[sunderwight]

PIDW but it's a game.

You play as Luo Binghe, the lowliest disciple of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect's Qing Jing Peak. The first part of the game proceeds more or less like a semi-normal fantasy dating sim -- Luo Binghe is bullied and downtrodden, but can seek help and opportunities to build relationships with various female characters, like Ning Yingying and Liu Mingyan. The game's interface implies a truly staggering number of potential romance candidates to unlock, however, so it makes sense that the first part in your disciple years doesn't get you very far in any of the routes.

But then for the second part, things start to shift. You get an option that seems to amount to asking whether you want to make things better for Luo Binghe or not. When you click the obvious choice, that you do, your previously cold and ruthless shizun seems to go through an inexplicable change of heart. You get a weird kind of fanservice-y scene featuring him during the Skinner Demon Mission. Then he features extremely heavily in the Demon Invasion Mission, only to turn up as your companion in the Dream Demon Mission.

After that, it seems like you've gotten onto his route, somehow? Why does the scummy male teacher even have a route in a game like this, though? You try to check for player guides but you can't seem to find any. You try reloading older saves and making other selections, but no matter what you choose, you end up finishing the Dream Demon Mission by moving into Shen Qingqiu's house, and the routes for Liu Mingyan and Ning Yingying and the briefly-encountered Sha Hualing are all greyed out.

But maybe that just means they're inaccessible for advancement for now, or something. And a lot of games have plot points that are on rails, and you can see where Luo Binghe actually getting a place to live would be one of those things. The format of the game changes as well, going from a relatively loose sequence of scenes and interactions to a daily management style, where you have tasks to complete (make shizun breakfast, go to morning lessons, cultivate, do chores, etc) and only a set number of hours in which to complete them. You have affection points, but any time you try to spend them on anyone other than Shen Qingqiu you get an error message. There are dialogue options for flirting with other characters, but they're always greyed out and impossible to select.

Still, you can unlock scenes. A lot of them are just long slow shots of Shen Qingqiu doing things, like reading, or lecturing, or eating. You get missions, and sometimes you meet female characters who seem to unlock new possible romance paths, even though they're still constantly greyed out. Maybe this part of the game's just especially on rails? Waiting for the actual harem-building segment? You kind of like a lot of aspects of it anyway, though. Luo Binghe is an especially compelling character, not at all like the usual sort of non-entity placeholder main guys in games like this. He definitely has personality.

But then you get to the third part. The Abyss. Shen Qingqiu pushes Luo Binghe in, and suddenly you're wondering if you've somehow reached a bad end. You were saving up some of those affection points for later, maybe you should have spent them all on him? Was there something you did wrong to make this happen? You're not even sure why he's thrown poor Binghe away, he was cold and cryptic about it, and now you're wondering if all the time you spent distracted by other things was time you should have spent farming a better relationship with him. You can't help but wonder where you went astray, because Luo Binghe will not stop wondering about it, and wondering about it in ways that make you feel oddly like he is accusing you, the player, of making the wrong choices... but in a way that could still plausibly be aimed at himself, as a character. You feel bad. You kind of want to restart, but you also can't bring yourself to abandon Luo Binghe. You have to see this through, to help him make it to the other side.

Regardless, the Endless Abyss seems like it must be an inevitable plot development. A lot of the game shifts to account for it. There's even an option to essentially select this "thought" from Luo Binghe's internal diatribe, that this is inevitable, and it seems to turn off the litany of recriminations for a while, although sometimes it also results in Luo Binghe... glaring at the screen?

At you?

Anyway the daily management system goes out of the window, and instead there's an energy bar now. Encounters with monsters or the occasional demon woman will lower the energy bar, how much depends on what you choose and how the encounters proceed. Sometimes there are romantic/sexy responses for interacting with the demon women you meet, and they aren't greyed out, but if you try and select them the cursor will jump to another option. You think there might be something wrong with your mouse? Sometimes you get Luo Binghe glaring at the screen scenes afterwards. When Binghe's energy bar hits zero, you're offered two choices -- "sleep" or "think of shizun". Sometimes even if you pick "sleep" the cursor will still jump to "think of shizun", and you'll be treated to another one of those slow lingering scenes of Shen Qingqiu. Except they are becoming increasingly strange, obviously warped by the exhaustion and trauma of the situation, so that aspects are eerie or even disturbing. For example, sometimes Shen Qingqiu seems to be missing limbs, or eyes. Sometimes there's blood on his hands. Sometimes the food he's eating is rotted, or the bamboo house background looks like the Qing Jing Peak wood shed. That kind of thing. You don't mind the idea of harm coming to the man. He deserves it, really, for pushing Luo Binghe into the Abyss. But the few times you try and select options along those lines, the UI glitches again.

Also the "think of shizun" option only restores a quarter of the energy bar, whereas resting restores all of it. But if you try to go for too long without doing it, it will lock you into choosing it successively for a long time.

In addition to the energy bar, there's a calendar. It's not all that sophisticated or even consistent, and it's clearly meant to reflect the fact that Luo Binghe has troubles accurately judging the passage of time in the Abyss. However, the longer you spend in the Abyss, the more violent and unhinged things start to become, and the more the UI starts glitching to reveal disturbing messages, and the more often Luo Binghe "glaring" scenes happen. So you decide to do your best to get Binghe out of here as quickly as possible. This part of the game must be broken, but hopefully if you can make to the next segment, it will work properly again.

Eventually you get to the Xin Mo Mission, which is the last part of the Abyss section, and Luo Binghe escapes.

But the weirdness continues. Worsens, even. You still get missions to like, take over the demon realms and infiltrate Huan Hua Palace, all cool stuff, and you still meet girls who seem to unlock possibly romance paths. But most of the time everything is greyed out. There will be 5 dialogue options but maybe only 1 or 2 of them will be selectable. Parts of the menu are inaccessible. You don't have an energy bar anymore, you have a Xin Mo corruption bar, and it just keeps steadily rising. Sometimes you're presented the option of propositioning a character to "mitigate corruption", but if you try and click it the game glitches or the cursor freaks out and it fails. Sometimes the game crashes outright, and when you reload your last save, it starts with Luo Binghe glaring at you through the screen. You still get the "rest" and "think of shizun" options at times, but neither one helps the corruption bar.

Then. Jinlan City. You reunite with Shen Qingqiu. There seem to be a lot of options for acting vengefully towards him, but they're all greyed out, except for a few which let you chase him down or manhandle him a bit. The whole segment is frustrating, full of weird fanservice-y moments but also mired in how little Shen Qingqiu will say, how often he insists on evading or running away, and how Luo Binghe doesn't seem to have the right prompts to actually get him to explain himself. At times it seems like the "think of shizun" mechanic is bleeding over into the real interactions with the character, so that you can't tell what's really going on vs what are the manifestation of Luo Binghe's trauma or even hallucinations. The Xin Mo bar has maxed out. You have to catch Shen Qinqiu. Catch Shen Qingqiu. Catch Shen Qingqiu--

Then suddenly the bar is at 0, and you're watching Shen Qingqiu's lifeless body fall towards the ground, his energy expended in the effort to push back the corruption. Like, all of his energy.

You catch Shen Qingqiu. Or at least, you stop his corpse from hitting the dirt.

Now the game art is crisp and clean again. All the weird UI artifacts and blocked-off menus are either gone altogether or else working properly. The sound, which had been very gradually deteriorating with low-pitched ringing and muffled portions, is normal. You can hear characters gasping and distantly shouting, and birds chirping somewhere, the ragged cadence of Luo Binghe's breaths, while the camera focuses on Shen Qingqiu's body.

Huh, you think. That's a sort of dramatic resolution to that plot arc, and it raised more questions about Shen Qingqiu than it answered, really. But at least it's over with now? Does this mean Luo Binghe can finally start to recover, or advance other plots?

Then everything blacks out. You get booted to the main menu, or something that looks like it, except the only option you can select now is the New Game+ one.

When you click it, it seems like you've started the whole game over again. Except that there is a Xin Mo corruption bar, greyed out, already waiting for in a corner of the screen. And instead of starting out with a view of Qing Jing Peak, you start out with the young Luo Binghe looking directly towards you. Like he's staring through the screen. It's the basic starting point character, except he already has his demon mark on his forehead, and his expression is way more cold and calculating than anything the junior protagonist would have worn.

"Don't get in my way," he warns.

Then the game proceeds like a visual novel with extremely limited choices. The old selections and the menu for various romance routes don't even appear, the menus have all changed again, this time oriented entirely around hiding Luo Binghe's demonic cultivation (while building it) and managing daily choices and Shen Qingqiu's relationship status. A romance game with only one romance route, and it's the treacherous crusty old teacher? Wtf? But otherwise it seems almost normal, except for the special faint-lettered red options that sometimes appear in weird places on the screen, suggesting things like preventing the Skinner demon from catching you unawares, or saving Shen Qingqiu from Without a Cure poisoning, or keeping out of the Endless Abyss.

Those options seem like they should create different outcomes, and you click them whenever they show up, but they consistently fail. As if there's some other force in the game pushing things back onto the rails no matter what you do...

Anyway, eventually you get through the main plot again, and Shen Qingqiu dies once more. This time the game keeps going from that point, however, with quests to try and find ways to resurrect him. You're starting to wonder why you're still playing -- after all, you signed up for a harem game, not this tragic gay love story? You're not even gay! It's just that Luo Binghe is such a compelling character. You decide it's time to take a break, though, so you get up, do some stretches, go to the bathroom, etc.

It feels like someone's watching you.

You've definitely been playing that game for too long. Sometimes you think you catch sight of Luo Binghe's face out of the corner of your eye, in the bathroom mirror or on the black surface of your phone's screen, just before you turn it on. But when you look twice or turn your phone off again, nothing's there. You call your little sister, to apologize for dropping off the face of the earth for a bit, and you joke about getting too invested in this weird game that might be broken? She hasn't heard of it, but she sounds a little worried as she suggests maybe coming over and taking you out to lunch, or something.

You decline -- she's got a lot on her plate, and she mentioned already having plans earlier -- but then you promise to get some fresh air anyway. But when you go to head out, somehow you find yourself turning away at the last minute. You try again, and yet it's like you just keep getting distracted before you can open the door. After a few tries you give up, swallowing down your growing unease. You take off your shoes and coat. When it comes to it, you really do want to find out what happens to Luo Binghe next.

The game is running.

You don't remember turning it back on...?

The screen is focused on the familiar image of Shen Qingqiu's preserved corpse. You can see Luo Binghe's hand in the frame as well, transferring qi in yet another familiar sequence, the one that seems to run at the end of every in-game day. There's some text.

Is it you? the red letters ask, scrawling and flickering, as if someone is attempting to write directly onto the screen. Are you the one behind all this? Thwarting me at every turn?

Yes/No options appear in the game's usual font and position. You try to click "no", even though you're unsure and feel like you must have missed a scene somehow. But the interface warps and when you hit "no" it changes to Stay Silent.

I can't figure out. Are you here to help me, or get in my way?

Help/Harm. You click "help" but again it changes to "stay silent" afterwards.

What do you want from me?

This time there's no option to select at first. Then, as if being shoved onto the screen by some alternative function, a text box opens up. Like the kind that some games have for implementing cheats or selecting character names. This particular game has never shown such a function before, Luo Binghe's name was locked in and you don't even know if it has cheats. The cursor blinks, and somehow it feels as if you have only one chance, and if you don't take it now, it will be gone forever.

You type in "help" and barely manage to hit enter before the interface blinks out. No list of prompts or possible options appear.

Shizun? the red text scrawls, shakily.

Then the whole game crashes.

You wait, but it doesn't start up again. You try to run it again, but you can't find it on your system, somehow. Really weird. Even if it had crashed, it shouldn't have gotten deleted? But you still can't find it. You start to feel genuinely alarmed. Not only can you not find the game on your system, but when you try and search for it absolutely nothing comes up. You try and go to the online shop page for it, but you can't remember where you actually got it from in the first place, now that you're thinking about it.

What bullshit is this?

What, was the game actually some kind of virus? It couldn't have been. Also who would make a virus like that? You get up and pace, trying to make sense of it.

It's gotta be some kind of mistake. Maybe you've just missed too much sleep, you're not thinking right. You'll take a break and when you come back you'll realize that you were just looking in all the wrong places, somehow.

You head over to the fridge to grab something to eat.

You can't remember the last time you went shopping, but the food in there is probably still fine. Right?

[thesirencult]

Channeled Letter From Your FS

reading by @thesirencult

Pile 1

I'm not your regular cup of tea. I'm strong, forceful and focused on going after what I want and what I want right now is you. From the first moment I will lay my eyes on you it's game on. I will approach you boldly, you will be taken aback but then you will love the thrill of the chase. My, oh, my! You will be a hard catch, but I don't care, I will pursue you in a way no one else ever has. I'm not pursuing you tirelessly or trying to win you because of ego issues, but because even if I'm not sure about myself, I'm sure about you.

You are so amazing and so worthy of love that I will get over my fears and anxieties just to be with you. Love takes courage and risk and I have nothing but that! I hope that is enough for you, in the long run.

I'm not an "one hit wonder" though! I have stamina and will never let you down my love. I know that at first you will not feel the same about me, but I will win you over once you realize I'm not the tyoe of person to hit and dismiss, pardon me!

In time, I will come to know that you were scared to let me in because no one ever showed you unconditional love and gave you without expecting anything in return. "You are the breath that I breath, you are my one lucky star..."

I'm the one who does what needs to be done. I'm a go-getter who goes after their goals. An endless flame burns within me prompting me to do my best and to take risks. I charge full steam ahead and I'm very passionate. You have not met me yet cause I'm doing "side quests" to grow and mature, so I will be ready for you.

Take care princess!

Pile 2

I'm not the best at expressing my feelings through words, although in our relationship, I will do my best to show you have precious you are to me, words will never feel enough to convey the feelings.

I'll start with this one though: You were my last hope. Your love broke all my defenses and woke me up from my slumber. How could I ever live my life thinking that I was okay being by myself, all alone in the cold embrace of the shadows while you were right there, so close to me, warmth radiating off your skin and warming up my heart. "One last time..." I thought. "I'm willing to risk it all again for her. It will either be my biggest heartbreak or the love of a million lifetimes."

You found me while I was trying to rebuild myself and mend my wounds. In reality, I healed more by your side than I coukd have ever healed on my own. You cultivated a safe space for me to open up and share my inner world with you. You made me the man I'm now.

I trusted my intuition and went after you. I never doubted our connection, just the nature of it. Were we better off as friends? But look at us, we are best friends, lovers, family and soulmates! I risked losing you to gain more of you, although, more is never enough. You consume my thoughts each and every day. I smile on my own at work and forget what I was doing while I think about you and your smile and your voice and your sweet words and kisses. This has been going on for a while, I must admit... It has been happening since our first interactions. I wanted more and more of you, begging the Universe to let us live out our fairytale. The moment I surrendered to your whims and love was the moment I freed myself from the prison of loneliness.

"You did your best!" you always tell me with a smile and I agree because you make it sound like it's not that big of a deal. That's what you said when I told you I couldn't help but fall in love with you and indeed, I did my best, the best I could have done. You outsmarted your opponent with your sweetness and I came bare to a battle I should have come prepared. I don't care though. I love the way you think and how smart you are. I love how you never let anyone or anything get between us and how your smile lights up a room. I love the way your eyes sparkle when you are thinking of something naughty or when you are trying to seduce me and influence my thoughts. I always let you win, cause I got the best prize once and I don't need any more victories.

My prize is sitting on the couch right now, wrapped up in a blanket, pregnant and with a dog lazily sleeping by her feet. Our friends just left from the dinner we held in the house that we built. A house that will host many more oarties and celebrations, but also many more quiet nights that we will be slow dancing in the kitchen to oldies playing in the background. I wish everyone got to experience that type of love just for a moment, they would never doubt this magical force exists and I'm lucky, because my wife is full of it.

Thank you for everything my love. I'll do my best!

Yours forever and always and for each lifetime, x.

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

#doesnt bertie do something similar with his vocabulary lapses and the numerous instances of 'if x is the word i mean'#bertie is writing his stories after the fact just like jeeves - he could look it up. he doesnt. in jeeves in the offing bertie gets a word#wrong ergo dahlia doesnt understand what he means and bertie reacts as though it were self-evident that dahlia couldnt have understood him#even if he'd used the right word: 'you are probably not familiar with the word but its one i've heard jeeves use'#if we assume that that is how bertie looks at the world then he doesnt have to look it up - to bertie people like him (people who will read#his writings) dont know words like jeeves does and therefore it is unneccessary to be 100% sure which word he means - noone else would know#and while jeeves doesnt include literary allusions in his narration he very much establishes himself as an authority in that area#except he does it through bertie - he is writing a guide addressed to new valets and right at the beginning he quotes emerson at bertie#who is immediately portrayed as the guy who cant remember the name of the play he saw the evening before. jeeves is absolutely showing off!#there are three foreign words set in cursive in the first paragraph alone! but the difference is while he may be showing off he - just as#you said - has nothing to prove - he is already the authority and here hes just establishing another way in which a valet#has to keep the upper hand

@noandnooneelse's tags for further discussion about jeeves as a narrator but responding in the tags because that's the most superior method of communication

you guys ever notice how in his dialogue when he's in bertie's presence, jeeves uses quotations and references constantly, but in his THOUGHTS during "bertie changes his mind," he doesn't use any? this is obviously because he doesn't care if we the audience know he knows shakespeare, but he will languish and die if he doesn't get to dazzle bertie with his wit and knowledge every five seconds

[winwin17]

I want to talk about Legolas and singing. (Hang in there, because it starts out a little silly but turns meaningful.)

How many times do you think he just broke off into song during the Fellowship's quest? Well, one time he's like, "Let me sing you this song about Nimrodel!" He also sings to himself in the middle of the night when he's on watch. When the Three Hunters reunited with Merry and Pippin, they relax and smoke their pipes - except for Legolas, who lounges next to them, looking at the sky and singing softly to himself.

He sings to the horse of Rohan when it freaks out about the Paths of the Dead. He stops in the middle of recounting a story to the Hobbits, breaking off to sing a song about the lands they passed through, which feature in the account he's telling. When he goes to see Merry and Pippin in Minas Tirith, people watch curiously, not only because it was odd to see an Elf and Dwarf at ease with one another, but also "Legolas was fair of face beyond the measure of Men, and he sang an elven-song in a clear voice as he walked in the morning...." And then later he mentions that he hopes to bring some of his people to the region - but he gets distracted thinking about the river, which leads to the sea, and he wanders off singing to himself of the sea.

We know singing is important to all Elves, but it seems to me that Legolas randomly sings more than maybe the average Elf does. Maybe it's just because we get to see so much of him compared to some of the other Elves - but either way, I like to think this is his way of keeping his hope up.

Legolas is from Mirkwood, and not only that, he's a prince. He possibly remembers when his home was still called Greenwood, before the shadow of Sauron came over it. Being that Mirkwood was one of the last Elven realms preserved in Middle Earth, it must have grieved and angered the inhabitants to watch this evil befall. Years were spent trying to fight back the Shadow over Mirkwood. It stands to reason that Legolas had a significant role in that. No doubt he took this very personally, trying to defend and preserve his people and their beautiful realm. At times it seemed that the Shadow was driven back, only to return again. Among the Wise, it was highly suspected that Sauron would make another comeback and the age of the Elves in Middle Earth would be over.

And yet Legolas keeps singing. He sings folk songs from his people, he sings of beautiful lands far and wide, of ancient heroes who gained renown fighting the enemy. Maybe he even made his own songs, too. And in the face of the darkness, when it seemed the Shadow would swallow everything up, the only thing he could do to keep his courage was to keep singing. I'd like to think that's part of why he's developed the habit of just singing to himself sometimes. That, and the fact that he just likes to sing and express himself in song, and he possesses a buoyant spirit. But where did that come from? Is it just a personality trait, or something more, something fine-tuned in the Shadows of Mirkwood in defiance of Sauron?

When Legolas sings, it comes from a hard-bought hope cultivated by years of trial. Greenwood may become Mirkwood, but the Greenleaf is still green, and he's not about to let that change, though it takes him to a battle against all odds at the Black Gate itself. He, too, sings to remind himself that the Shadow is only a passing thing. It cannot vanquish the joy and hope and wonder at the beautiful things of the world that overflows at random moments. And that's why we love him, silly moments and all.

[arbitrarykiwi]

I desperately need a thanos version of now streaming 😭 i think I can wait☹️😔 as a matter of fact take your time😁🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

Now Streaming...

Thanos Version

Yalllll I was really trying my best to get this out as fast as I could I PROMISE. idk what it was but I had so many people asking for a Thanos version of my ‘Now Streaming…’ and I wanna give yall what yall wan!

I hope this is up to y’all’s standards! It was admittedly so fucking hard to write w/o making it too similar to the Namgyu one I just did. So I hope I did the request justice💕💕

Warnings: none, sfw, fluff

“Hooooly fuck!!! Thank you for the donation!” Your boyfriend, Choi Su-bong, yells at his computer. “You’re an absolute beast for that!! I guess that means we have to keep this good energy rolling! We can stream for a lil longer guys.”

Despite it being just you and him in his apartment; he’s talking like there’s other people there. In a way, there is. Known as the famous twitch streamer, Thanos, your boyfriend often was doing long streams into the middle of the night.

From music review, to video games, to opening fan mail- he seemed to have a knack for it all. He got most of his following from his streams in which he would produce a whole song live within a time limit. Now that is what the people came to see!! He was talented, he could make catchy songs you would want to hear on your drunkest night out in under 20 minutes. He’d mix the whole song effortlessly all while interacting with the chat and providing commentary. It was no wonder he was famous!!

There was also a clear other reason for his influx of watchers. Thanos, Choi Su-Bong, your boyfriend…was fucking hot.

He was a big man, tall and muscular. The tattoos that accent his arms and hands just add to it. Not to mention the boisterous purple hair with personality to match! He could captivate someone so easily with just a witty sentence or a cocky remark. Even a flash of his smile could have new subscriptions pinging into existence, each being welcomed in with an ecstatic, “Welcome to the Thanos world!”

When you started dating, it was him that practically begged you to come on stream with him. He could respect your need or desire for privacy…but he really wants to show you off!!

He’s been streaming for a while, cultivating this niche group of viewers that he almost viewed as a distant family. The viewers who were there from the beginning of his twitch career watched him grow from nothing-living in his mom’s basement and high out of his mind on a mixture of substances, to living in his own place and producing music for other big rappers while having a successful rap career of his own. So to him…it only makes sense to brag about his next big step- his beautiful girlfriend!

He does monthly Q & A streams that are timed to go with the re-dying of his hair. And who does his hair? You!!!!! He’ll be seated in his gaming chair, towel tucked into his shirt as you work to coat his hair in the purple dye. Red tinged eyes beaming at the chat as new questions keep rolling in.

‘When’s the next song dropping?’

“Uhhhh.” Thanos drags out, eyes looking to the ceiling as he calculates an estimate of a release date. “Prolly next month. Won’t be an album though, unfortunately. Jus’ a single.”

‘What brand of hair dye do you use? Wanna make sure I buy some to have for when we get married’

Thanos’ eyebrows furrow a bit, scoffing at the commentary after the question. Can’t whoever this was see you behind him?! When he reads it out, he only reads the question.

He’s quick to fall back into a rhythm, trying to ghost over the thirsty comment- he doesn’t want to bring it to your attention. “I actually don’t know!” He chirps, reaching behind him to tug at your shirt, pulling you down into the cameras view, “we can ask my girlfriend though! She’s the one that does my hair so she’s in charge of alla that.” He says, turning to look at you.

You laugh, waving to the camera with gloved hands. Despite the gloves being for protection from the hair dye, the majority of your forearm is covered in purple. “I use this one. Works really well! Doesn’t come off when he sweats as much.” You tease, showing off the bottle of purple dye.

Thanos hopes showing you off would make those comments die down. And when flood of comments come in just talking about his single he’s dropping, his grin is widening- this is what he lives for!

Sure back when he wasn’t in a relationship and fucking women left and right he wouldn’t mind them, he’d even play into them. But he’s not been shy about you, about being with you. There’s no need for those comments to boost his ego when he has you doing it. Those comments are boring to him now!!! He wants people critical of his music, giving advice, asking him questions about himself, or giving requests!

One of the things that got Thanos big on twitch before he started to stream his music was his Minecraft videos. He’d force Nam-gyu who was strangely good with making mods, to make mod-packs that he would then add to the game. His Minecraft kick never went away- the dude loved that fucking game. He yearned for the mines. So you often found yourself curled up on the small futon in his office while the dull, muffled thrum of the Minecraft music blasts through Thanos’ headphones.

“Okay chat I think we hafta stay the night in here…” Thanos says chuckling as he blocks himself into a makeshift hole with half a heart left. “When I told ‘Gyu to go all out with this horror mod thing I didn’t think he’d add 30 mod packs into one!!! I can’t do anything without almost dying!!!!” He yells dramatically, spinning his mouse to make his character move erratic in the game. “It’s okay!!! Let’s…uhhhh….whats goin on in the chat! Yeah, what’s up with you guys!?!” Thanos says, shifting slightly to look at his second monitor and watch the chat as he tries to pass the nighttime cycle of Minecraft with whatever he can.

‘Been streaming your song for the whole week! It’s sooo good!’

‘I’ve been waiting for the next Minecraft stream. I’m so glad it’s back.’

‘You been working out?’

The comment makes him chuckle, and he grins proudly. “Fuck yeah I have!” He’s replying pushing up his sleeve and flexing his arm. “It’s really starting to show ain’t it?!” He jokes, beginning to flex for the camera.

As a dutiful girlfriend, you’re watching the stream as always. You have your phone propped up on the vanity across the same room he’s in so you can watch the stream while doing your makeup in a small round mirror. With your back turned to him- you can hear him but you can’t see him- so you prop your phone up in front of you on mute to get the best of both worlds.

You laugh silently, watching him put on a dramatic show for the camera, flexing his arms. Your eyes catch the chat, of course it’s filled with fangirls spamming the chat with various sexually driven compliments. Each one spaced out by other comments which joke around with Thanos and talk about the actual stream.

‘Yes LAWDD!!! Need him to put me in a headlock!!!!’

‘The tattoo going up his arm makes this so much hotter’

‘All muscle but still screams at a Minecraft mod.’

“Hey! Watch it!!!” Thanos yells teasingly, obviously catching the one comment that wasn’t begging for his attention. “When you have 6 jump scare animations play back to back- a man’d gonna scream!!!” He says, hands coming up in a defensive position, “That’s jus’ gonna happen!! I say it would be abnormal to not have a reaction to jump scares…..like ‘Gyu! That man has to be a different breed to not react at all!” He rambles.

If there was one thing he was good at it was interacting with the viewers. He was so in tune with it, even if you put aside the bias of him being your boyfriend, you would have and could have watched him for hours!! He was so entertaining and wildly interactive with viewers allowing for engagement that only made the stream better.

‘I need him so bad’

‘Play the game that I’ve been requesting!! Please!!’

‘I wonder if you have any tattoos we can’t see.’

Your eyes narrow, you pause your makeup and turn fully to the phone. You can see on the small screen that Thanos reacts, scoffing a little as he now sees the influx of horny messages that ensue after his flexing. He mentally scolds himself, he really didn’t mean to do it! He can’t help he looks so good!! Trying to deflect and calm the fangirls down he responds.

“Uhh… yep. Got a lot of em.” He says with a grin and a nod. “The one on my arm connects to a large one on my back that’s far too big to show…” he says, immediately putting down the notion of showing that one off. You let a breath you didn’t know you were holding, the thought of the chat of horny women seeing your boyfriends sculpted back makes you sick.

“…I got a few on my legs, I’d show those but I’m wearing sweatpants…oh!! Annnd~” his voice trails off into a sing-song tone, hand coming up to grip at the collar of his shirt, “got my baby’s name on my collarbone.”

A smile spreads across your face as he shows off the tattoo of your name in elegant script across his collarbone. He had done it a couple months ago- without you knowing- but after he came back home and showed you oh-so excited, you couldn’t help but adore it!

Thanos hopes that him showing the viewers that he literally has his girlfriend’s name tattooed that it would make the sexual or flirty comments die down. He knows it comes with the job, but he is also painfully aware of how those comments could make you feel- he’s had more than a few conversations with you about this.

Yes, they’re from people he doesn’t know and will never meet. Yes, he only has eyes for you and only loves you. You know that- he knows that. But it doesn’t make it easier when you’re forced to see thousands of women thirst after your boyfriend in ways that seem far too explicit to comment on a live twitch stream.

The stream continues, Thanos going back to playing the modded Minecraft world he had made. You had gone back to finishing up your makeup. You two were going out on a date after his stream wrapped up after all!

“Okay chat, what wood should I use for the base? Oak or Spruce?” Thanos’ voice echos through the room. He turns his head to the chat, watching as the choices get picked- trying to see which one wins out the majority.

‘It���s such a shame he’s not single…like she’s literally not even here to support him lolz’

The comment takes him off guard. It’s bold, not something someone should say to a random streamer they watch. It also pisses him off that it accuses you of not supporting him. You, out of all the viewers, were Thanos’ biggest supporter. He wouldn’t be here without you.

“I’m seein a lot of oak…oak it is!” Thanos then clears his throat, “Me n my señorita are going out after the stream, so I think I’ll probably finish the base and call it a night..”

Your head snaps to the phone you have his stream on and then to your watch, he has at least 2 hours before your reservation- he doesn’t need to get off…

You turn back towards his set up, looking over at him confused. He looks up from his monitor towards you, a smile beaming on his face as he sees your completed makeup look.

“In fact…C’mere.”

You furrow your eyebrows and stare at him blankly. He waves you over. It only takes a couple strides before you’re next to where he sits in his gaming chair.

Thanos pulls you down, throwing you over his lap before you have time to react. “Chat, look at her! Fuckin’ beautiful thing!” He boast, moving the camera to get a good view of your face.

A tattooed hand is coming up and squishing your cheeks together, bringing you closer to the camera and turning your head each way. “Seee~ ohhhhh look how good that liner is….and the blending?!!”

You’re giggling now, knowing truly he has no idea what good blending was or even how your eyeliner gets put on. His makeup knowledge is 0 to none. But boy howdy is he gonna show you off!!!

“Fuckin’ perfect!” He comments, like he’s marveling at a 5 star dish that was plated in front of him, “just look at her!! She was over there watching while she got ready.” Thanos coos, placing an obnoxious kiss to your cheek as if he’s trying to drive it in that it is not a shame he is not single- because he has such a great girlfriend like you.

“I jus’ needed to show you off…” he mumbles against your cheek before helping you stand back up. He looks up at you, proud smile on his face. Laughing, you nod, hand caressing his cheek before you return to the vanity to work on your hair.

“She’s been in the room the whole fucking time watching the stream by the way, moron.” He says, glaring into the camera before banning the commenter, smirk widening as he watches the chat now flood with comments on how hot you were.

I hope you guys enjoyed this one! This one was an odd lil struggle for me but I did enjoy the challenge!

Also I’ve been thinkin’ that some anons are returning anons and if you are…I just wanna say that I don’t have any emoji anons 😗😗😗😗so if you wanna claim one so I can recognize ya 😗😗😗😗 let möther know who ya are 😏😏😏 it’s just a think 🤭

I have a couple other requests and stand alone fics in the works! I promise I’m getting through them even though I don’t upload everyday. Love yew alllllll 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ - <3 kiwi

[finniestoncrane]

Hey Finnie! I was curious, do you have any headcanons about the Riddlers being pussydrunk?

Riddler Headcanons hi hello this took me so long to get to i am so sorry anon lmao BUT ANYWAY i am back with headcanons!! i very much could see this happening to the boys (and it annoying them a lot) 💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: oral sex, vaginal sex, hate-fucking, mention of anal sex

zero year

kind of loser who gets pussy drunk just glimpsing your cunt

kind of dork who presses two fingers in and sucks on them for ten minutes just for your taste

kind of dweeb who gets fully erect and close to cumming just from the smell of your pussy

kind of asshole who hates being pussy drunk because it makes him seem like he lets himself be controlled by it

which is NOT the alpha male attitude he's trying to cultivate

kind of idiot who might decide that since being pussy drunk isn't the vibe he wants for himself

that maybe anal is the way to go from here on out

gotham

pussy drunk is the only kind he'll tolerate since he doesn't particularly like losing control of himself or his thoughts

(all too easy to either... strangle your crush to death or hallucinate your frienemy/soulmate singing to you otherwise)

anyway he's the kind of guy who could spend 30 minutes eating pussy and then come away actually feeling kind of drunk

complete state of happiness, absolute ecstacy

thinking he's king of the world

not making very much sense

but determined to keep going to chase that feeling

arkham

he's the kind of guy who blames it all on you when he starts forgetting what he's doing

which, to be fair, is correct since it's your pussy he's thinking about

unable to go longer than three minutes without thinking about you and drooling when he's supposed to be working hard

so don't be surprised if you're happily minding your own business hours or even days afterwards

and are swiftly interrupted by him coming in to yell at you

for fifteen uninterrupted minutes mind you

before he asks rather sheepishly if you'd maybe just give him a little bit more of what he's got a taste for

just to see if that helps get it off his mind

telltale

oh he hates the effect you have on him

the notion that a simple, very human act that he's performed with multiple partners before could be so different

could make him completely incapable of stringing together a coherent sentence

could impair his reasoning, his general functions, both mental and physical

that his infatuation with you specifically could have him laying on a bed, drooling, empty mind

it's not going to stop him from going through it all again next time though

he's completely addicted

unburied

he'll pretend that he's not affected at all

pull out of you with the same nonchalant attitude as he would have after brushing his teeth or making a coffee

but buried beneath the sarcasm and the dry exterior...

he's losing it completely, and he secretly likes it

the ability to just let himself be kind of stupefied, with an excellent excuse for it?

no wonder he keeps coming back for more, even if he pretends that it's for your benefit more than his

twojar

absolute fuckin hound for pussy, and will go completely catatonic after sex

needs a good few hours of just holding you while he lays there completely still

just contemplating the world and trying to remember how to walk

keeping at least a finger on your body to keep the room from spinning and to make sure he stays grounded

because he over exerts himself, a lot of frantic, passionate, extremely physical work

and afterwards he needs time to recover from it or he'll do himself an injury

dano

he's literally one good pussy away from being cured

like the minute his dick is wet and you're moaning his name he's a changed man

what plans for revenge? what bombs? what weird traps that he built by himself?

who the fuck even is batman?

you're on the news the next day getting the medal of honour from the city of gotham

you saved lives. your pussy saved lives

your mailbox is filled with little homemade greetings cards afterwards

they're addressed to your pussy, not you

btaa

guess who's in a much better mood for the rest of the week?

as much as she tries to ignore it, miss tuesday can always tell when eddie has been with you

because he is far less grumpy and frustrated for quite a while afterwards

it's nice that you have that kind of power over him

but it does make him insufferably optimistic

which means more work for her when he decides that the grand schemes he thought were terrible and too complicated before he got his dick wet

they're now suddenly completely viable, because he is the greatest man to ever live

young justice

get that man to REHAB he is ADDICTED to pussy and he CANNOT handle it

talk about a lightweight, he's ten seconds inside of you and already unable to form a single though

it's a miracle he knows to keep breathing let alone remembering to thrust

he remembers nothing about anything else in life when he's in the zone, either fucking you or eating you out

basic maths? the ability to speak in sentences? gone

it's a good thing you're moaning his name because he might not remember it otherwise

btas

if he gets a particularly good fuck in then you can guarantee that he is out of commission for at least a couple of days

cheerful, whistling, humming tunes, dancing around his office

and the best part of it is that he knows he's happy, but he can never remember the details of why

because he can get blackout drunk on your cunt

all inhibitions lost

he's muttering words and phrases that he never would otherwise, far too lewd for someone classy and intelligent like him

doing things to you that you'd never expect from him, but definitely welcome the next time he decides to partake

[sunandflame]

Sun-Warmed - Soft Scene with Mihawk

Warnings: none, just fluff

Word Count: 791

Pairing: Dracule Mihawk x Reader

"Soft Scene with Mihawk" Series

crossposted on AO3

The afternoon had dipped into a golden hush, the vineyard steeped in sunlight and the lazy hum of cicadas. You followed the worn path between rows of trellised vines, your fingers brushing over curling leaves, still warm from the day. Every now and then, the breeze carried the rich, earthy scent of ripening grapes—and the faintest aroma of something savory from the garden.

You found him kneeling by a patch of rosemary and tomatoes, sleeves rolled to his elbows, a sun-dappled shadow across the strong line of his shoulders. Mihawk. The world's greatest swordsman, covered in faint flecks of soil, inspecting a tomato like it were a jewel. Your heart did a ridiculous little flip.

“I didn’t expect you to be here,” you said softly, though you’d been looking for him.

He didn’t glance up right away, just plucked the tomato from the vine with a practiced twist. “You’re always walking toward me,” he murmured. “I simply wait.”

That made your chest go warm and fluttery. You took a few steps closer, catching the faint scent of spice and sun-warmed earth clinging to him. He looked up finally, golden eyes catching yours—still quiet, still unreadable. But you were learning. There was softness in his silence.

“Try this,” he said, and held out the tomato—cut in half with a quick flick of a small blade you hadn’t even seen him draw. One half for you, one for him. Still warm. Still sweet.

You took a bite. He watched your lips, not your reaction.

“It’s perfect,” you said.

Mihawk nodded slowly. “I grow what I want to taste.”

Your breath caught just slightly at that. He was always like this—saying things that felt like riddles, but once you learned his rhythm, his words ran deeper than most people’s confessions.

He leaned back slightly, one hand bracing against the soil. “You have dirt on your cheek,” he said.

You blinked. “Do I?”

He reached toward you, thumb grazing the curve of your cheekbone. Not wiping, not hurried—just lingering. Watching the spot, and then your lips. His thumb shifted just slightly. You didn’t move. Couldn’t. The air between you stretched—heat pooling low in your belly.

He was still for another heartbeat. And then, just as slow and deliberate as everything he did, he leaned in and kissed you.

Not urgent. Not claiming.

But intimate.

Mouth warm, tasting faintly of tomato and rosemary, hand still at your cheek. You felt it in your knees, in your spine, in the places your body had longed to be held. When he pulled back, he didn’t say anything. He just looked at you for a long moment. The kind of look that meant this mattered. That he meant it.

You smiled, just barely. “So… you grow what you want to taste?”

His mouth curved—just a little. “Exactly.”

And then he kissed you again, deeper this time.

The second kiss was slower.

Not because of hesitation—no, that wasn’t his way. Mihawk didn’t act unless he meant it, unless every movement was a choice. And this? You felt it in the way his fingers shifted to cradle the back of your head, tilting you gently toward him, his mouth catching yours like it belonged there. No rush. No question. Just the weight of quiet want, unfolding between vine leaves and sun-drenched soil.

You sighed softly against him, hands finding the linen at his waist, twisting in it as if it could anchor you. His other arm slid around your lower back, drawing you in until your bodies were flush, until there was no space left to question his intent.

When the kiss broke—barely—he lingered close. Lips ghosting yours. Breaths mingling.

“I’ve wanted to do that,” he murmured. “Longer than I should admit.”

Your heart ached at the softness in his voice, at the rare and deliberate honesty. He didn’t offer vulnerability easily. You understood that now—his affection wasn’t loud, wasn’t thrown like confetti. It was cultivated, slow as the vines he tended.

“I wondered,” you whispered. “I hoped.”

His thumb brushed the corner of your mouth again, reverent. “You’re not like anyone I’ve known.”

That made you smile—big and warm and unguarded. “Because I talk too much?”

A low sound left him—almost a laugh, barely there. “Because you see me.”

Silence wrapped around the two of you like the vineyard’s warmth. Not awkward. Not unfinished. Just full.

Eventually, he reached behind him with the same calm ease, picked up the small basket of vegetables he’d been collecting. He offered his free hand to you.

“Come,” he said. “Let’s make something together.”

And you went—fingers laced through his, heart thrumming with something golden and steady. You didn’t need declarations. Not from him. The kiss said enough. The hand in yours said more.

[lyngracetalksnwritesnstuff]

Yilling Wei Sect AU

Ao3

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Lan Wangji remembered the day the Jiang arrived at the Cloud Recesses. They were quiet and sad, white mourning sashes adorning their robes.

The Jiang Head Disciple had died earlier that week, Wangji remembered. Wei Wuxian. He'd heard about the boy, how he was a brilliant cultivator with a good heart. Apparently, he'd been on a night hunt with Jiang Wanyin and tried to lure away the beast they were fighting so Jiang Wanyin could get their injured shidi and shimeis away from danger, and was torn to pieces. When Jiang Wanyin had come back for him, they'd both gone missing for a week.

They only found bits of flesh and his sword.

Jiang Wanyin refused to talk about it once he'd told his parents.

All the Jiang disciples are quiet and well-behaved that year. Even Jiang Wanyin, who was known for his bad temper, was surprisingly subdued and only exploded a few times.

Then the Cloud Recesses burned, and Wangji was sent to a reeducation camp. Wen Chao forced them to do what was arguably the Wens' job: looking for yao and the biggest and best beasts that would bring them the most glory. It was shameful.

One day, before they were set to "night hunt," their swords mysteriously appeared in a hidden cavern they used as a secret infirmary for those who were injured. With them, they freed themselves from the camp and made their way back to their sects.

Wangji wondered who had given them their swords. Had it been a Wen, unhappy with their current rule? One of the sect heirs, tired of being prisoners?

He didn't have time to ponder such trivial matters as Lotus Pier was attacked next, blamed for the escape of the sect heirs.

The Wens attacked Lotus Pier and failed.

No one knew quite how, just that their Lotus Shield had somehow been reinforced, and was much stronger than it normally had been, giving the Jiang time to prepare and coordinate an attack that drove the Wens out with minimal casualties.

Wangji began to wonder if there was someone secretly helping them against the Wens. If so, why didn't they show their face? What did they gain from defeating the Wens?

They are losing the war. They don't have enough soldiers, and the Wens are gaining ground quickly. Desperate, they turn to the smaller sects and even rogue cultivators for help.

Then the Wens try to take Yilling.

Then the Wens fail to take Yilling.

It shouldn't have happened. Yilling was a small, undefended town.

Or so they thought.

Wangji begins to hear whispers of a legend, the Yilling Patriarch, guardian of outcasts and street children, all who are lost or persecuted.

Many vote against it, but they are very desperate at this point, and willing to grasp at straws if it gives them the slightest advantage against the Wens.

So they send a message to this local myth. A letter formally asking for assistance and an alliance so that the Wens are pushed back and crushed.

They were in the middle of a war council when the Yilling Patriarch waltzed into the Nie banquet hall. Wangji immediately knew it was him, because who else could it be? He wore red and black robes and a silver-black-red mask. He couldn't quite see what he looked like, as something prevented him from seeing all of him at once, only giving him pieces he was unable to put together.

There were gasps and shouts as people scrambled to stand or draw their swords. The Yilling Patriarch was flanked by a stern-looking woman who raised her hand to silence the uproar.

"My name is Wen Qing," she started. "I was sentenced to death in the burial mounds by Jin Guangshan along with my village of peaceful Dafan Wen about half a year ago. We mean no harm unless harm comes to us. This is the Yilling Patriarch. I am his voice, and I will speak for him."

Nie Mingjue, Xichen, and Wangji shot enraged looks at Jin Guangshan. That had not been a sanctioned sentence, as the Lan and Jiang were the ones in charge of war prisoners. Meng Yao, surprisingly, also shot a disgusted look his father's way.

"Will you help us?" Jiang Fengmian asked. He had become haggard with war and looked very, very tired. Wangji pursed his lips, not liking the sudden intrusion.

"We will. But first, we have conditions." Wen Qing said. She was a commanding presence, and Wangji could see some of the other cultivators eying her warily.

"Name them then," Nie Mingjue commanded. Wanji could see that many of the sect leaders were getting impatient.

"First, we want a guarantee that we will not be prosecuted after we win this. I would like to make it clear that I voted against helping you and letting the Wen wear you down a bit, but he insisted, and you are, to put it bluntly, getting crushed by the Wen." Wen Qing demanded, her eyes sharp and unfeeling. Wangji frowned at this and saw Xichen and Nie Mingjue exchange uneasy looks.

Jiang Wanyin looked downright furious, as did many other sect leaders, including Jin Guangshan. Jiang Fengmian kept his calm composure and nodded.

"That is acceptable," He said.

"Second," Wen Qing started. "To ensure you don't go back on your word, we want a marriage alliance with one of the great sects. Since the Jiang and Jin are already taken or about to be sect leaders, Nie Huaisang or Lan Wanji will do."

This caused another uproar, and Jiang Fengmian held up his hand, rubbing his temples. Wangji shot a panicked look at his brother, who gave him a pleading one in return. We don't have a choice, the look said. We need to win this. Please.

Wangji pursed his lips, but nodded begrudgingly. He didn't want to be the reason the Yilling Patriarch refused to lend the help that could win the war.

"Why should we offer one of our own to you in the first place?" Jin Guangshan asked haughtily.

"To speak frankly, Jin Zhongzu," Wen Qing said tersely. "You are losing this war. Badly. So, unless you want to become subdugated by the Wen and live the rest of your lives in prison camps..." She and the Yilling Patriarch moved to walk out the door.

"Ah! Let's not be hasty now," Jin Guangshan hurried to reclaim their attention. "I'm sure one of them will be willing."

"Huaisang is out, he's my only heir," Nie Mingjue explained, looking very unhappy at the prospect of an arranged marriage with the Yilling Patriarch.

"Wangji will do it," Xichen said firmly. He looked older, tired, and Wangji reminded himself that at least he wasn't getting married to a woman as he'd always thought he might be one day.

Wen Qing nodded. "We will hold the wedding in a few days."

"If you don't mind," Xichen started. "I feel that it's fair to give us some idea of what help you will be providing and how."

Wen Qing nodded. "We have numbers and powerful cultivation techniques. I won't elaborate on them, you'll see them in action when we next fight the Wens. I am a trained doctor and can assist in the medical tent. We also have a few people in Qishan, so we can provide intelligence as well."

"What territory do you have? We know you've protected Yilling, but that hasn't happened anywhere else." Nie Mingjue asked.

"We control Yilling and the surrounding land, as well as the Burial Mounds." Wen Qing stated calmly.

"You control the Burial Mounds? How?" Yao Zhongzu demanded.

"Respectfully, Yao Zhongzu, that is none of your business. Most of us reside in the Burial Mounds after the Yilling Patriarch cleansed it enough to be livable."

This caused a third caphocany of arguing sect leaders. Wangji wished he could cover his ears without being disrespectful because they were loud.

"Silence!" Nie Mingjue roared.

"Yilling Patriarch, how did you manage that incredible feat?" Jin Guangshan asked, all sugary and polite.

"It was done out of necessity. And to answer the question you're not asking, yes, all of the people you've thrown into the Burial Mounds are alive and well and being looked after." Wen Qing's voice was venomous as she stared down Jin Guangshan, who looked considerably nervous at her words.

Soon after, the meeting was adjourned and Wangji was whisked away for wedding preparations. The ceremony was held a few days later and soon, Wangji was married to the Yilling Patriarch.

It was surreal. Wangji didn't feel married. He hadn't spoken with the Yilling Patriarch, hadn't even seen his face. Yet now they were bound in matrimony.

It was three days after their wedding that the Yilling Patriarch first aided them in battle.

Wangji remembered feeling his heart sink to his knees when the Yilling Patriarch pulled out his dizi. They were surrounded by Wen, and it looked like they might be taken captive.

Then the Yilling Patriarch began to play.

It was a haunting melody, evoking feelings of unsettlement and fear. Were it simply a song, Wangji would've aplauded his musical prowess and creativity.

But it was not just a song.

Corpses began digging themselves out of the ground, rotting flesh and scorched rags filling Wangji's vision as the corpses chased the Wen down, eviscerating them. There was blood everywhere, and Wangji saw one of the fierce corpses tear out a man's heart and devour it hungrily.

The Yilling Patriarch played on, unfazed.

Wangji's husband was a demonic cultivator.

It was the first time Xichen had seemed to truly regret marrying his brother off.

"I'm sorry," He murmured, hugging Wangji after they escaped, mostly uninjured. "I'm so sorry."

The war passed on quickly after that, and soon they were at Nightless City, fighting off Wen guards to get closer to Wen Rouhan. His sons were dead at this point. Wen Chao killed by the Yilling Patriarch, and Wen Xu slain by Nie Mingjue.

Everyone stood, shocked, when suddenly the war was won. Meng Yao stood, covered in blood, behind Wen Rouhan, a knife sticking out of the former sect leader's back.

Jin Guangshan was the first to make a move, offering a place at Jinlintai for Meng Yao.

Wangji was quietly furious. Meng Yao, for all his flaws and concerningly fluid morals, already belonged to the Nie. Who was Jin Guanghshan to attempt to claim the glory that rightfully belonged to Meng Yao for himself?

"This one is deeply sorry, Jin Zhongzu. But I already belong to a sect." To everyone's shock, Meng Yao moved to stand next to Wen Qing and the Yilling Patriarch, who'd arrived on the scene rather quickly.

"Meng Yao?" Nie Mingjue growled, prompting for an explanation.

Meng Yao smiled sadly. "Nie Zhonzu has been very good to this lowly one. Some of the Jin and Nie guards, however, were not. I was thrown into the burial mounds on my way to infiltrate Wen Rouhan's court. The Yilling Patriarch and others who already lived there found me and took me in. I am forever indebted to them."

Jin Guangshan looked briefly incensed before calming his face. Nie Mingjue looked furious, though Wangji didn't think it was directed at Meng Yao. Xichen just looked so, so sad.

The Yilling Patriarch didn't speak, but ruffled Meng Yao's hair affectionately.

"Hmph, there are no debts among family." Wen Qing frowned, placing her hand on his shoulder. It was an achingly familiar gesture, one that spoke of support and familial love. Wangji was not jealous. He wasn't. Really. Xichen is amazing.

Wangji was whisked away to pack his things soon after. He was being taken back to the Burial Mounds with the Yilling Patriarch, Wen Qing, and Meng Yao.

"You shouldn't visit right away," Wen Qing instructed Xichen, who was hovering near Wangji's tent. "Wait a few months, otherwise it might look bad."

Xichen looked sad, but complied, tentatively reaching out to pat Wangji's shoulder once he was done packing. Wangji pulled him into a hug, surprising both of them.

"I'll visit in a few months," Xichen promised when Wangji pulled back. "And you can always visit me."

Wangji nodded, bowing to his brother before leaving with the Yilling Patriarch.

The Burial Mounds were nothing like Wangji had expected. The last time he'd passed by them, many years ago on a Night Hunt, they'd been barren and oozing resentful energy. Now, they were still filled with resentment, but it was less oppressive and angry, more like a stern parent looming over their children.

There were houses now, facilities, people, laughter, children. Wangji barely masked his shock as he saw small figures chasing each other through the village as they approached.

"Take your mask off," Wen Qing commanded. "They'll all laugh at you if you walk in there in your 'Yilling Patriarch' disguise."

That was the first time Lan Wangji ever heard his husband laugh.

It was bright and deep, like a large bell ringing at dawn to signal the rise of the sun. Wangji could only stare in shock and curiosity as the Yilling Patriarch took his mask off, and suddenly Wangji could see him.

He was quite possibly the most beautiful man he'd ever met. The Yilling Patriarch had a lively face filled with bright, smiling eyes and laugh lines around his mouth. He looked like a young father watching his child take their first steps, not a war-hardened demonic cultivator.

Wangji also noticed how long and lustrous his hair was. It had been tied back loosely, as if he hadn't had the time or care to put it back properly, and was a deep earth brown, the kind that could be confused for black if looked at in the right light.

"Yes, I suppose they would never let me live it down," The Yilling Patriarch chuckled.

"I think your husband is a little starstruck," Meng Yao noted, smirking at Wangji's stunned expression.

"Ah yes," The Yilling Patriarch laughed again. "I know, my beauty is incomprehensible."

Wangji didn't know quite how he was supposed to respond to that, so he just nodded a little. The Yilling Patriarch's voice was smooth and faintly melodic. He always sounded like he was on the verge of laughing and spoke with flair that captivated Wangji.

The people cheer when they enter the village. They are immediately accosted by three very excited toddlers, two of whom attach themselves to the Yilling Patriarch's legs while the other stares up at him, her face set in a pout.

"Baba!" The youngest one exclaims, holding onto Wangji's husband's leg with all his toddler strength. "You came back!"

Oh. It seems his husband has children.

"That's right, my little radish, did you think I would stay away forever?" The Yilling Patriarch bent down and detached the children from his legs.

"Baba was away forever," The other toddler said seriously, stretching his little arms out as wide as they would go.

"Forever?" The Yilling Patriarch gasped. "How will this baba ever make it up to his little ones?"

Wangji felt something in him soften as he watched his husband greet his children with such obvious love.

"Baba, who's that?" The older girl pointed to Wangji, a frown on her face.

"Ah, that, my little apple, is my husband, Lan Wangji." The Yilling Patriarch said, gesturing to Wangji.

"Is he our Mama?" The smallest one asked, his eyes wide. "Popo says you need to find us a Mama."

So their mother wasn't in the picture, Wangji mused. Hopefully, it would be less tense that way.

"Ah, no, he's not a Mama," The Yilling Patriarch said awkwardly. He didn't seem to know how to tell them that their marriage was purely political.

"You can call me A-Die, if you wish," Wangji said softly, looking to the Yilling Patriarch for permission. "It's what my brother and I called our father."

The Yilling Patriarch seemed to sigh in relief and nodded.

"Xian-Gege!"

Wangji turned to look as two teenagers scrambled over to them at full speed, tackling the Yilling Patriarch in a hug.

"Ah! You both got so big! Who gave you permission to grow, huh?" The Yilling Patriarch laughed, hugging both of them.

"Ning-Gege," The shorter teen said smugly. "He said we have to grow or else we'll end up as short as Yao-Ge."

Meng Yao moved to hug the teens as they were talking, and smacked the shorter one on the back of the head for that comment.

"I'm not that short," He protested. Wen Qing raised an eyebrow behind his back in suspicion.

"Who's that Xian-Ge?" the taller teen asked.

"That's A-Die!" The younger toddler exclaimed. "He got married to Baba!"

Both teens' eyebrows shot up, looking to the Yilling Patriarch for confirmation.

The Yilling Patriarch nodded, giving them a look.

"Ah! I've forgotten to properly introduce you!" He exclaimed. "Lan Wangji, these are my children. The youngest is A-Yuan, my Little Radish; this one is A-Xiao, my Little Potato, and the oldest is A-Qing, my Little Apple." He gestured to each of them in turn.

"And this is Xue Yang and Mo Xuanyu. A-Yu is Meng Yao's younger brother." The Yilling Patriarch introduced them. Xue Yang smiled unsettlingly, and Mo Xuanyu waved shyly.

Wangji nodded in acknowledgement. Little A-Yuan runs over and hugs his leg, calling him A-Die and insisting on showing him around.

Wangji accepts this kind offer and watches quietly as his husband laughs with his friends and children.

Maybe life in the Burial Mounds will not be so bad after all.

Ooooookkaaayyyy. This took waaaay to long and is like twice the length I intended it to be oops. Buuuuttt, it is my first ever mdzs fic on this site! Hoorayy! Dw, this is part of a larger au fic, I think it's gonna be around 10-15 chapters when I'm done, and I might post it on Ao3. Oops, it just passed 12 as I was writing this, and is now Saturday for me, sorry!

[pompompurin1028]

𓍯𓂃Hanahaki Disease Au! Dazai x reader • a drabble

This is an attempt at a portrayal of the original hanahaki disease au (the disease as a result of repressed feelings rather than unrequited feelings). This is kinda different from my usual fics and honestly I'm just experimenting so idk I'm out of practice orz

Dazai always thought your smiles reminded him of flowers. If nurtured in the right environment, given enough light, provided with the right amount of love and care it deserves, it blossomed like a sunflower in the light of the Sun. Dazai found that the agency provided the proper soil to nurture your smile. Your smile was so bright it was almost betwitching, and if Dazai would dare admit it, capturing even his heart that he had long thought barren of such feelings.

Yet, the more he spoke with you, the more he got to know you, the more he felt your light shining upon him, the more he felt like something, something he shouldn't be feeling, developing in the depths of his heart. At times, it was like a soothing balm, smoothing over the cracks and roughness of his heart. But more often than not, it was a dreadful feeling.

Lately, every time he neared you, every time he wanted to speak to you, it was as if flowers were growing inside of his heart, wishing to escape, to sprout, wishing to blossom fully. The feelings that had taken root in his heart seemed to sprout, filling his heart, engulfing his lungs, shooting up his throat as if they wanted to force themselves out of him.

“I… I-” He found himself stumbling over his words in conversation that once came normal to him. What had once been conversations about yourselves, your thoughts were cut short as he turned the conversation around. Though he dreaded seeing your rejected expression as he does so, for seemingly putting up a wall between you two, he knew he could not let the conversation continue. For every time he wishes to speak, the terrible sensation enters his throat again. Something wanted to escape. He could already feel it sitting on his tongue ready to break free… But as always Dazai swallows it down. He could not reveal what he had inside his heart.

In truth, while he described the feeling in his heart as flowers. He could not be sure what they were. Perhaps they were something far darker, something monstrous that grew inside of him. Dark and twisted feelings that are not suring for someone like you. He feared it would scare you away, the torrent of emotions swirling inside of him. But more importantly, he felt that you should not be at the receiving end of them, whatever form and shape they are. He could not guarantee what they were, even he himself is unsure of it. He could not understand them. He even wondered if such beauty like flowers could even cultivate inside of him一out of the blood that stained his body, out of the hollowness that pervades his existence. Is there really anything in him that could create anything beautiful enough that is deserving of you? So, despite his desire for closeness, for intimacy, to become even more deeply acquainted with you, he slowly pushed you away, alongside the feelings he was determined to keep locked in his heart.

But everyone has a breaking point. Even someone like Dazai himself cannot escape it. While determined to keep you at a distance, he was selfish, he could not keep his word. And when he felt the familiar feeling rising in his throat once again, instead of being able to swallow them down, this time they were far too persistent.

A coughing fit seized him immediately as he tried to force them down. He could hardly breathe, the room turned, it was nauseating, it was unlike anything he felt before. Clasping his hand to his mouth, he ignored your look of concern and desire to get him to sit down. He ran and stumbled his way to the agency's bathroom, lurching over the sink… blood stained flower petals soiled the white marble.

He wheezed, taking in deep, laboured breaths as the coughing fit ended, trying to take in air into his lungs. But it almost felt as if no matter how much he took in, it wasn't quite enough. He plopped down onto the ground, trying to steady his breath. It was like he was underwater again, with water in his lungs… But rather than let it take him, this time he was desperately grasping for air, he did not want to let it overtake him, he was not ready, not right now.

Soon, he could breathe again. The tightness in his throat has gotten lighter, his head felt clearer. The constricting feeling he had felt in his throat, in his heart has ceased temporarily. He breathed a sigh of relief.

But he knew well this relief was only temporary, it would return once again, but for some reason, he did not wish to give the feelings up nonetheless.

He sighs and grips the marble sink tightly, leveraging it to push himself back onto his feet. Looking down at the sink, he could see the bloody flower petals staining the white marble with bits of red. Yet, the flower petals themselves in contrast were pure white.

While he feared the vulnerability of intimacy, of being understood, of being known and seen.. Taking a deep breath, he paused, hesitating briefly before returning to his usual self. “You know what? I've changed my mind, I'd like to get to know you better.”

[sunderwight]

Thinking about SV demon culture as one struggling under the weight of imperialism, a violent ruling class with a might-makes-right mindset, and a lot of warfare.

I really don't like fics that imply that Luo Binghe's conquest of the demon realms just automatically improved living conditions there. I think both versions believed that they could conquer things, establish a new regime, and fix a lot of political issues in the process, I just don't think that would actually be the result of a violent takeover on the part of a cultural outsider with a patchy understanding of the actual multitude of demon cultures involved, whose only asset was an extreme capacity for physical violence and resilience against death.

Like, no wonder Bingge was always putting down uprisings and "rivals" for power -- a lot of his empire was probably actually being run by the demon wives or families of the demon wives he favored most, like Sha Hualing, or by preferred subordinates like Mobei Jun, who very probably pursued their own interests just as doggedly as they had prior to his rule. Only, this time they'd have been doing so with the added leverage of Luo Binghe's violence answering anyone who "rebelled" against "his" authority.

Demons in SV have myriad subtypes and subcultures. It seems really likely that a lot of them have been persecuted by others, that there are demon communities who have been subjugated, muscled out of ancestral homes, enslaved, wiped out, etc. This would probably even explain some "invasions" by demons into the human realm -- I'd imagine numerous cases across history of refugees being taken for (or described as) marauders by cultivation sects, or human communities unprepared or unwilling to deal fairly with visibly inhuman "monsters" and answering their approach with violence, or even displaced demons who did in fact become bandits and such in the fallout of various conflicts causing problems.

But there also would probably have been demons that succeeded in making their way in the human realm, and disguising what they were well enough that the sects never even knew. After all, most of the methods for alerting the sects to the presence of demons involve demons doing something violent (like the Skinner demon) or people seeing demons and going "ahhh!" about it. A demon or a family of demons uninterested in serial killing and only looking to get by and avoid the violence would likely not attract that kind of attention, just so long as they could pass as human too.

I do wonder if the reverse has ever happened as well. Human wars driving humans to seek refuge in the demon realms. It would conversely seem a lot more dangerous (demons are physically tougher than humans, and the demon realms are notoriously harsh), but in some cases it was probably like, well, life is hell already, at least the things trying to kill us in the demon realm are straightforward about it?

There are probably way more half-demons out there than just Luo Binghe, and even more demons with human ancestry or humans with demon ancestry. I wouldn't be surprised if demon ancestry actually played a roll in some humans being cultivation prodigies compared to others -- demons seem to have a natural physical power that most humans don't, and while their cultivation uses different energy, it would make sense of some aspects of things like a physical inclination to store, accrue, or manipulate energy in general could benefit even predominately human descendants of mixed blood.

But anyway, back to politics.

Tianlang Jun didn't seem to be a terribly proactive ruler either. Which on the one hand can be a good thing (he wasn't a tyrant, wasn't interested in waging wars or conquering others, didn't much care to throw his weight around), but someone was actually ruling in his absence. Conflicts were still happening, and being resolved. Tributes or taxes were still being paid to him, for him to live any kind of lavish lifestyle, which means they were being collected, rates were being determined, enforced, etc, which does beg the question of who was doing it. Not Zhuzhi Lang, certainly.

In Bingmei's time, the person actually running things is Shang Qinghua, which means also Mobei Jun is actually running things to some extent too. Shen Qingqiu loves demonic beasts but doesn't seem like he could care less about politics, and Luo Binghe only got this job in the first place because he was trying to impress him, and the post-canon extras would seem to indicate that they check out of the process as often as possible.

Mobei Jun and Shang Qinghua's rule probably makes things pretty hard for the southern demons who are traditionally loyal to the Heavenly Demons. I mean, apart from not being able to beat Luo Binghe in a fight, self-serving ambition would definitely be a motive for Mobei Jun to throw his lot in with him as soon as possible, right? "Give" the emperor your palace, your service, your resources, etc, and the emperor basically becomes Mobei's own tool to reinforce his sovereignty. In PIDW he even uses him to do that in a more immediate sense by bringing him to the fight with his uncle. In SV he decides Shang Qinghua is more suitable, which, symbolically, is even true. The cost of wielding Luo Binghe's authority is having to submit to it, but Shang Qinghua has elevated Mobei Jun even without that.

No wonder the southern demons couldn't get on Tianlang Jun's side fast enough when he reappeared. Given both Mobei Jun and Shang Qinghua's bias, the North has probably been running rampant with their own interests while the South gets hamstrung and dealt crumbs by comparison. Sha Hualing's clearly been trying to get on Luo Binghe's good side with minimal success ever since he got out of the Abyss. Unlike in PIDW, where she's a major player, here she's just an underling desperately playing catch-up and accidentally offending him all the time.

I wonder how that's impacting the complex arrangement of political alliances, cultures, and conflicts among the various factions in the demon realm. It'd probably be like if the remote and somewhat isolated North and Winterfell in ASOIAF/Game of Thrones suddenly became the new capital of the empire, and White Harbor became the main trade hub, while all the southern lords struggled to even get a foot in the door with the new king and kept pissing him off all the time. And every time they try to break free or rebel or kill him, it doesn't work and they get personally murdered by him. Meanwhile the northern lords are making off like bandits, with the current Lord Stark gay married to some inhuman warlock who does all his paperwork and somehow knows all your embarrassing secrets.

...That comparison got away from me. But I mean, it's kind of fascinating? A huge mess and likely miserable for a lot of demons, but still. The implications...

[embodiedsexualitytarot]

Pick an image: allow your intuition to guide you.

Courage the Cowardly Dog was my favorite show growing up. I always wondered why he was named Courage since he was afraid all the time. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I understood: courage is not the absence of fear, but being able to carry on and move forward despite fear.

IMAGE #1:

If you selected this image, it’s possible you’re trying to manifest a romantic relationship or improve your work/home life relationships. I feel like you’re tired and may be feeling impatient with the situation. It could be because others are not meeting your expectations.

A potential block here could be that you’re more independent than a team player. It can be helpful to start thinking and acting like a partner to improve the situation. Form genuine connections and support by giving that to others first. This can open honest communications and prepare you for future connections. Release control. Trust and go with the flow. Let things happen naturally.

—————————————————————

IMAGE #2:

If you selected this image, I feel that you may struggle with trusting people so, you rely mostly on yourself. That’s not a bad thing but, it does wall off people who can teach/support you. To help with this, it’s important for you to release the past.

For someone here, this has to do with modeled behavior from parents or relationship with a parental figure.

For others here, it has to do with a past (romantic) relationship.

Either way, by holding onto this, it is hurting your current and future relationships. I understand that you don’t want to be hurt and let down, but you may find that opening up and allowing yourself to experience love and support can be nourishing.

You aren’t weaker for receiving support either— “work smarter, not harder”. Be willing to accept the resources/connections available to improve quality of life.

—————————————————————

IMAGE #3:

If you selected this image, you may be worrying about money or burdens relating to finances- home, work, career. I feel that you’ve had enough. Something that could be holding you back is thinking you don’t qualify for something greater. Feed your ambition. Use your struggles and discontent to feed your desire for something more. Then allow your desire to push you forward and take the necessary steps to change your life. As hard as it may be, nurture your energy, cultivate it with fire, passion, and rage— if that’s there too. Use it to take the next step whether it’s updating your resumé, leaning into writing and music, etc.

You are worthy of something greater, believe it wholeheartedly. Often times, the thing we are most insecure about is our greatest gift.

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For entertainment purposes only.

[lexsssu]

Naive (Alhaitham)

TAGS: Alhaitham/F!Bunny!reader, friends to lovers, pining, yandere, possessive behavior, obsession, mating cycles/heats, oneshot Ao3 ver. | Ko-fi | Commissions (OPEN)

“Why do we have to learn more math even if our major has nothing to do with it? At this rate, I’m going to flunk and take it again next semester…”

Alhaitham’s fingers twitched unconsciously as your pair of long ears drooped down, hanging by the sides of your face almost as if they were pigtails instead of actual appendages.

“What the heck am I going to need calculus for when I’m trying to develop improved cultivation tools and methods? It’s not like I need to find out the value of X while I’m plowing the fields or something…”

His heartbeat is delayed for a single second at the mention of ‘plowing fields,’ and he has no one else to thank other than the hormonal male Akademiya students who’d made one or two passing unsolicited remarks about Amurta’s only female beastkin student.

He made sure to memorize their faces and names for him to deal with at a later date.

“Alhaitham, help meeee…!” 

Despite being a proud descendant of the Taguel, the way you so easily beg and plead so submissively at him with large watery eyes and a pout formed by a pair of luscious lips has him wondering if you were unconsciously using some sort of secret seduction techniques passed on through your clan. Perhaps you were even secreting some sort of pheromones that made him calmer, more relaxed, and susceptible to your whims…

“Knowledge always comes at a price. I’m willing to tutor you, but you’ll owe me a single favor that you can’t refuse and which I can redeem at any time of my choosing,” bright turquoise orbs darkened as he leaned his head against his curled right fist. “Are you still willing to pursue this knowledge despite the costs?”

“Of course! I trust you, Alhaitham. So why would I be scared about the favor I’ll be owing you for this? Knowing you, you’ll probably make me do some paperwork or help with your research,” you giggle, the fluffy cotton ball of a tail you had wagging at how silly your friend was. 

Why would you ever be afraid of him when he’d been nothing but honest with you? Alhaitham wasn’t some random cur that tricked hapless maidens into his slimy grasp.

If only you knew just how depraved he truly was when it came to you. 

Then again, it is his luck that his adorable little bunny was such an innocent creature that only saw the best in him.

It’s up to him to make sure no one ever takes advantage of your kindness and naivety.

Even if it means he has to carefully plan and wait for the right time to finally express his true desires, he is willing to be patient. Especially when he knows that you are what awaited him at the end.  

You remain blissfully unaware of his thoughts and intentions, not even questioning him or thinking how odd it was for him to have you sit on his lap as he taught you your most dreaded subject.

Alhaitham is a good man and an even greater friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You both graduate within the same year with, as expected, flying colors, much to the joy of your respective families. It’s a solemn yet joyous affair, one that you invited him to because how could you not when it was with his help that you managed to even graduate with honors?

There is sure to be some teasing courtesy of your family once you get home, but that is the last thing on your mind as you leap into Alhaitham’s strong arms.

Even through the layers of your graduation attire, you feel the wall of solid muscle that is his body, something that always amazed you when he was one of the most brilliant scholars in Sumeru.

“Thank you, Alhaitham. I wouldn’t have been able to get this far without you always having my back,” you don’t notice the way his sandstone-colored irises seem to dilate as you curl around him, your entire body supported by a single arm around your soft waist while another hand settles upon the plushness of your bum.

Being so close to you like this allows him a whiff of your scent, a mix of soft floral and woody notes with a hint of fruity and citrus underneath. He feels his body heating up from the inside as his senses are assaulted by your voice, your body, and even your smell.

He won’t be able to last long if you keep this up.

Don’t you know how much you drive him crazy?

Rational thoughts come second to instincts when it comes to you, something your kind is very much familiar with.

If there aren’t so many people right now, he’ll throw you onto the grassy ground and mount you right here. He’ll put a whole litter of kittens in your belly and take care of you and your new family for the rest of his days—

Somehow, he manages to keep himself from making a scene by fucking you right in front of your family and the entire Amurta faculty, namely your master, Sage Naphis, whose short temper was legendary throughout the Akademiya. 

However, each day that passes and each small action you make only wears his thinning patience and self-control. It’s not a question of ‘if,’ but rather a question of ‘when,’ and only the Archons know when that will be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So…Acting Grand Sage, huh? I always knew you’d go on to do great things, but Sumeru’s de-facto leader? Makes me wonder why you’re even hanging out with a country bumpkin like me~” Sticking your tongue out playfully and winking at him, you miss the way he swallows seemingly nothing but air.

“Don’t be absurd. Who I associate with of my own volition is no one’s business but my own.” 

Although he may look and sound cold at first glance, you have known Alhaitham long enough to know for sure that he simply has his own ways of showing he cares. He wouldn’t let Kaveh stay at his place if he didn’t care about his friend after all. And even if the scribe wanted to be stubborn about it initially, you simply offered to house Kaveh instead, which ended up with the architect staying at Alhaitham’s in the end.

It’s honestly downright adorable how contradictory he could be at times, seemingly wanting to maintain an unbothered and uncaring attitude when you knew full well how good of a friend he was.

If only you knew that the real reason why he allowed Kaveh room and board was that he’d sooner gut the other man than let him stay in the same house as you. 

He’d gouge the architect’s eyes out if they even settled too long on you.

It’s one of the reasons you’ve come to harbor feelings for him.

He is handsome, he is brilliant, but most of all, he is kind even when you have nothing to give him in return aside from your time and friendship.

You repeatedly stamp down the warm bubbly feelings within you that try to rise to the surface, repeatedly telling yourself that there is no chance that such a fine specimen as Alhaitham would return your affections.

Archons know just how many times you’d fingered yourself to thoughts of him during your heats. How you imagined scenarios of him coming to you in the dead of night, whispering sweet nothings and promises of breeding you full, just as nature had intended.

But there’s no way that could ever happen…right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"'m sorry…didn't know…it'd come early this…year…!" 

You are a pitiful mess as you lie on the grassy ground, your body overheating from the inside as the symptoms of your heat swiftly overtake all rational thought. According to your calendar, it wasn’t supposed to happen for another few days!

He memorized the exact dates of your cycle, so he knows full well just when you’ll be perfectly ripe and ready for the taking.

Had you not forced his hand in the first place, he’d have gladly waited for your regular heat.

“Don’t l-look at me…Haitham…!” 

How can he not look upon the stunning sight of you looking so hot and disheveled because of your need to be mated and bred? It is a sight he will commit to memory for the rest of his life.

You desperately force down the beastly instincts that urge you to submit to the nearest virile male and present your soaked cunt that begged to be bred. It is humiliating, especially because Alhaitham is forced to watch your lewd and debauched display. 

It brings him such glee at the knowledge that no one will ever get to see you like this. 

Whether it was your upperclassman Tighnari, your friend Cyno, or even Kaveh, none of them will ever have this privilege.

You don’t even want to think about how you’ll face him after this.

Because why would he ever want a mere beast like you?

It is his misfortune that he wasn’t born a beastman like you were. However, he’ll make sure to make up for what he lacked tenfold.

You sniffle, feeling small tears pricking the corners of your eyes as your body and mind fight one another. Your hands move to cover your face, unwilling to let him see any more of the pitiful sight you made.

There’s no need for you to look for a mate from the other beastkin clans.

He’d rather burn Gandharva Ville to the ground than hand you over to the likes of Tighnari. 

Just because the other male was your senior and studied under the same sage didn’t mean that he’ll let that damnable fox sink his claws into you. 

“No. I believe I have a better solution for your plight,” with one hand, he pins both your wrists above you as he settles himself in between your legs.

“Mate with me.”

His words send a shock through your body, floppy bunny ears standing ramrod straight as you gaze up at him with large eyes, heart beating like a drum as the weight of his statement registers in your mind.

“Don’t you see? It’s simply because our bodies are compatible with one another that your heat opted to arrive earlier than expected. Your body already knows what your mind has yet to even comprehend,” Alhaitham’s turquoise orbs seemed like they were almost glowing in the dark as they gazed down at you like a predator eyeing its prey.

You were always the only one meant for him, even if you didn’t realize it at first.

And yet, you don’t feel a single ounce of fear.

Rather, you want to be devoured by him.

You want him to stuff you full with his cum again and again until his seed takes root in your awaiting womb and bears fruit.

You want him and will gladly take everything he’ll give you.

“Alhaitham…mate with me, please?”