#worst witch element

[vanhelsingapologist]

(gru voice) gorls.

[kweenjeannausfien]

Something wicked this way comes...

[elexuscal]

Scholomance: A Series In Conversation With Harry Potter

(and often, that conversation is 'fuck you') So I've seen posts (and made some myself), talking about how Scholomance is a response to Harry Potter, perhaps the most recent being this addition to a reblog chain of alternatives to the HP-series in light of Rowling's raging bigotry. For folks who aren't familiar about the series, I think it's very possible you'll go "oh yeah because they're both in magic schools, sure". Or even "yeah all YA-adjacent fantasy in the last 20 years is influenced by Harry Potter, duh".

But no. I mean, specifically, the author Naomi Novik is a known fanfic writer who has spent years emersed in fandom, and I think she wrote the series in part as a response to critiques of the HP series. Some of this is more tongue-in-cheek playing with fandom specific tropes and ideas, but others I think are very insightful responses to how Rowling ended up creating a world based on British hegemony and replication of the status quo. Which isn't to say that the Scholomance series don't stand on their own-- I think they do!-- but if you were someone who grew up playing in that space, it'll have a whole other layer for you. So, whether you've read the series, or are curious and want a spoiler-minimal break down, here's my thesis, starting with:

Harry X Draco

The two leads, El and Orion, are designed to parallel and reflect common tropes given to Harry and Draco in the HP fandom, though not necessarily in a one to one. Beyond the rivals-to-lovers romantic pairing, we have… El: The protagonist, struggling against the perceptions of a prophecy, the social outcast, Angry and Scowly (Harry) Takes on the roll of the apparently-evil nascent dark wizard who secretly has a heart of gold (Draco) Orion: the golden boy, the hero (Harry) Latin name, Comes from a powerful and established family, parent is a major villain, silvery-blonde (Draco) Their relationship arc requires El to unpack that Orion's upbringing was not necessarily happy for all it was privileged, while Orion needs to recognise he had privilege in the first place, and other people had to struggle where he didn't-- which are common arcs in Draco/Harry fics.

HP Adults Are Useless

A constant (sometimes joking, sometimes serious) complaint of HP, was how the adults were functionally useless, requiring the kids to constantly save the day. Honestly, I think this is just one of the fundamental elements of the genre: YA fiction will have Young Adults do the plot stuff.

Nonetheless, Scholomance has an elegant solution to the accidental byproduct of making the adults seem idiots and/or negligent—the adults can’t help, because there are none in the school. Even once they graduate, it’s not so much that adults are useless per say; some are in fact quite helpful! But many of the most powerful have been co-opted by corrupt corporate systems, and those who haven’t are struggling with intense trauma that makes them unwilling to rock the boat.

Man, The Way HP Treats Muggles-Born Is Kinda Whack

Sure is! Scholomance amps this up even more. Magical kids born of non-magical parents don’t last long. This is because young wizards are basically yummy mana snacks for monsters. The one “muggleborn” kid we hear about getting schlorped up by the Scholomance is said to have died painfully and messily due to any lack of knowledge, equipment, or allies. It encapsulates the failings of the current system.

Why Don’t Wizards Help Muggles?

As an extension of the last point, wizards in HP consistently treat non-magical people with disdain at best. At worst, they actively hurt them, as evidenced by stuff like innocent civilians suffering brain damage due to repeated memory wipes. They certainly don’t do anything like use their magic to help cure disease, duplicate and/or transport food, or provide clean energy, all of which seems easily within their power. The reasoning for this is pretty unexplored (bad blood from witch trials?) and seems kind of laughable given that the average witch or wizard should be able to easily overpower the average muggle. Again, Scholomance has an elegant solution here: magic just doesn’t work around non-magical folks.

Rather, magic is powered, deep down, on the belief that it’ll work. And deep, deep down, normal people don’t believe magic is real. Monsters become weak in their presence; spells fizzle out. Indeed, a smart strategy for survival as a wizard is to hide yourself deep among non-magical crowds. Otherwise, mana is expensive. Even if you could cast a cure-cancer spell in a mundane hospital with confidence it wouldn’t just fail, that would be prohibitively mana-hungry for all but the most secure Enclave wizards.

How Can There Be Any Material Poverty In The Wizarding World?

A lot of the HP books are obsessed with class. Like the Weasleys are poor. Really poor. They seem to struggle with basic expenses for food and clothes, let alone stuff like school supplies. How does that make any sense, when over the series, we see ability to near instantly repair items, replicate food, etc?

In Scholomance, poverty has nothing to do with material wealth over mundane things, like food and clothes. Indeed, it's explicitly said getting money is trivial. The currency is mana, which is what you need to cast any spells... Which is what you need to not get eaten by monsters.

HP’s Wizarding World Has So Few Jobs!

An oft-repeated critique of Rowling’s worldbuilding is that there were like, five jobs (teacher, cop, merchant, healer, and government official).

Scholomance’s worldbuilding focuses hugely on the wide variety of careers available in their world, with everyone very preoccupied with what job they’re going to take, since it actively impacts their survival both in and out of high school. We hear about maintenance workers, water sanitation, food scientists, doctors, artificers, gardeners, and more. That said, everyone who graduates ends up being a skilled martial combatant, cuz if you aren’t, monsters eat you. Ouch. … this probably has an impact on why wizard society, at large, is so combative and dog-eat-dog.

Why Are HP Spells Only In Latin?

All the spells the students learn in Hogwarts are Latin. IIRC, we might see some French and Nordic spells when other schools visit in book 4, but we get pretty much no world building an explanation. Why Latin? Out of universe, of course, it’s because it has associations with sophistication and academia and lost knowledge. By why in-universe? Do spells simply not work in English? What about other contemporary languages? Why would that matter at all? Do languages become magic if they're old enough? What's the logic here? Scholomance answers all of these questions. Different languages have different schools and philosophies around spell crafting. While all contemporary languages have their own spells, anyone who wants to be competitive needs to learn spells from other languages, both modern and archaic. “The Language Track”, which El is on, is necessary for those who want to become particularly flexible and skilled spell-crafters.

Actually, HP’s Global Worldbuilding In General Is Either Non-Existent Or Downright Shitty

Sure fucking was. As a refresher for those who never read the books or have just forgotten, the HP series is pretty disinterested in questions of what the so-called “wizarding world” looks like outside Europe, or even Britain. We get glimpses of French and Nordic wizards, as mentioned. We hear about dragons from a variety of countries; we know there’s “curse breaking” on Egyptian pyramids. That’s about it. On the official HP extended lore site “Pottermore”, Rowling began to write short stories and other material to fill in the gaps. These were bad. Really bad. Things like there being a single wizarding school for all of China. Or the Indigenous witches and wizards of the Americas apparently not being very good at magic, until European wizards came, taught them how to make wands, and set up the first school on the continent (which every kid, presumably including Indigenous ones, go to.) Wow. Again, Scholomance-- both the series and the titular school-- is designed to answer these critiques.

Why is there only one magical school? Because it was an incredibly complex and mana-hungry construction project. Why is it so British and American in its design? Because those were the main builders/funders, and they intended to keep it for themselves... Until they realised they needed to put more kids in there to up the chances for their own childrens' survival. But while Britain and America have an outsized impact on the school, they are not the only major players. International politics is a huge theme of the series, with Enclaves from all around the world fighting for power and influence. China in particular is becoming a rising star, and is pressuring for more seats in the school, or else they might break away and make one of their own. Everyone is bracing for an international wizard war that seems liable to start any moment. Our protagonist, El, is of both Welsh and Indian descent, notably both nations that were colonized by the British. As the series goes on, that colonization becomes a major theme, arguably the one that underpins the whole series. In order to counter this, El needs to cultivate friends and allies from all around the world. While I think it's telling that her first real friend ends up being a Desi-American girl, her core team ends up including folks from China, Germany, Malaysia, and more. All of these nations are shown to have their own cultural backgrounds and approaches to magic. Notably, the powerful ancient magical tome that holds the promise for potential peace, the Golden Sutras, are rooted in Indian culture, just like El.

Harry Potter Is Pretty Heteronormative, Huh?

Sure is. And while there were critiques of this even when the books were coming out, its failure there has become much more damning in hindsight given Rowling's descent into becoming perhaps the most politically active and powerful transphobe on the planet. Sadly, I don't believe Scholomance has any explicit trans representation (though let me know if I'm forgetting something). I will say, though, that on top of having some background queer rep, El is bisexual, who has an on-page sexual relationship with another young woman. (I adore that whole relationship so much frankly, but it's kinda out side the scope here, so I'll leave that aside for now).

Status Quo

And then, the crux of it. Harry Potter, for all the series presented itself as a counter-cultural rebellion against a fascist take over, ends right where it started. Voldemort is defeated, sure, but none of the systems that led to his creation and rise to power are dismantle. Harry grows up to become a wizard cop, marries his high school sweet heart, and has three kids. Without spoilers, Scholomance ends on a much more open note. There is no single villain to defeat. Fixing the system is a long, hard, slow process. The powers that be will try to block El and her allies at every turn. But she's still determined to try.

... PS

My Immortal

Galadriel Higgins is a goth who puts up her middle fingers at preps. The end.

[kasagia]

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x fem!moon summoner!Alina's sister! reader Summary: After the events of the fold and the fight against Aleksander, you, Alina, Mal, Baghra, Zoya, Feydor, and the Six of certain Crows join forces against the Dark General, who is trying to take over Ravka. But instead of hating YOUR Aleksander with all your heart, you still believe that you can influence him and stop the civil war in Ravka. Inspired by: Taylor Swift - I Can Fix Hhim (No Really I Can) Taglist: @aoi-targaryen @il0vebeingdelulu @chelseyyouraverageluigi @watersquirtpewpewboomm @summersummoner-pat Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist

They shake their heads sayin', "God, help her" When I tell 'em he's my man But your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger I can fix him, no, really, I can And only I can... maybe I can't. Taylor Swift - I Can Fix Hhim (No Really I Can)

You can't help but shudder as you observe the fold from the hill you're standing on. Sometimes at night, you dream about how HE created it. As shadow flew from his mouth along with a desperate scream, creating a shadow fold with creatures destroying everything and anyone on their way instead of an army that was supposed to save his people.

The bond between you is still there. Even though Alina made sure that the amplifiers he placed in you were completely inactive and removed. Sometimes you envied her for not having these strange visions about Aleksander's past. Maybe then you could hate him blindly instead of gradually starting to see the point in his reasoning and actions.

“You should be sleeping.” You close your eyes and sigh as you hear the old witch's voice. Baghra's presence was like salt to the wounds that her son inflicted on you. She didn't help you move on from Aleksander at all. Even telling you only the worst, bloody, dark stories of his past didn't change how you felt. And God knows how hard you tried to hate him after all this time you were running away from him and his people. "Ignoring me won't make your situation better. Only I can help you with this bond between you and my son; you know it well. Besides, you have a long road ahead of you. Your summoning skills are poor; he would defeat you with a wave of his finger. You are a better summoner of the sun than of the shadows."

"I am the moon summoner. Not some strange hybrid." You huff offendedly, stroking your thumb over the back of your left hand—more specifically, the small scar left after Morozova's stag amplifier.

"Moon summoner? Who called you that?"

"Your son." You say scathingly, enjoying the silence that came after your words.

You congratulate yourself as the smirk disappears from her face. You fondly remember how he gave you that nickname during one of your late-night meetings in his war room.

You were both night owls; it made sense that you would want to spend your time with the general who personally trained you in the use of shadows rather than senselessly tossing and turning in your bed, waiting for a sleep that would never come, right? Besides, over time, you went to his chambers to toss and turn in HIS bed. And not because you couldn't sleep...

"You still can't see it? He only wanted your power. Nothing more. He cares more about Alina than you, since your powers are weaker than theirs. You can control two elements and be the first to summon shadows and not be from our family, but you will never compare to them. And Aleksander is a greedy man, like all of them. He won't be satisfied with a naive girl whose powers depend on the time of day."

"I understand." You answered calmly. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the woman staring at you in shock, believing for a moment that you had actually moved on. But you can't stop a small, mocking smile from appearing. "Instead of standing here and looking at me stupidly, you'd better check on the others. I hope Zoya hasn't killed poor Mal yet."

"Silly girl. May the saints watch over you." She comments, shaking her head.

"Your good saints don't need to lift a little finger! I can fix him." You hear her mutter something to herself as she walks away, leaving you alone and not even responding to your taunt.

You sigh, playing with the sleeve of your coat as you stare at the fold. You could have fixed him. Really. He didn't need much. He was a good man, and maybe others didn't see in him what you did, but you deeply believed that the real Aleksander Morozova still lived under the mask of the Darkling.

All you had to do was get him out. And only you were able to do it.

You close your eyes, letting the moonlight fall on your face as you focus to summon your own light. You sigh in defeat, playing with the tiny ball in your hands, which quickly dissolves the moment you let the shadows slip through your fingers—as usual, too weak to summon a light bigger than your fist in the dark of night.

You pull the hood of your cloak over your head and go back to the camp, thinking about the nights when you could summon anything you wanted in Aleksander's arms. How dependent you had become on him... Alina had told you more than once that you should have known better than to listen and believe the enticing promises of monsters whispered in the darkness of night.

But was it really your fault that you still wished you could sink into the warmth of his embrace and sheets where you didn't have to worry about whether you'd live to see tomorrow? With Aleksander by your side, at least you never had to question your usefulness.

You were both his stars and his darkness. And while Baghra's whispers sometimes made you doubt it, in your dreams you remembered how much your Shadow Summoner valued your presence. And that despite how the world saw him, he wasn't really the villain in this story. He was just a fallen angel, a saint you had to put his halo back on and give the stars back to. Or at least that's what you wanted to believe.

After all, only you could fix him.

"And who is she?" Prince Nikolai's piercing gaze meets yours as you, Alina, Mal, and Baghra meet his band of rebels on the ship.

Alina told you that if you were to defeat Aleksander, who was growing stronger every day after the King of Ravka declared Grisha, who did not join the First Army public enemies, you needed to obtain an amplifier of some sea creature.

You didn't listen to her very much, though. You were busy talking to Aleksander at night... mostly trying to connect with him or watch him from the shadows. You only briefly listened to the plans they were making. After all, they didn't need you as long as Alina and Baghra were in good shape. You were only a spare summoner in case one of them did not have enough power. Another reason why you preferred to spend more of your time and energy trying to contact your Sasha.

Maybe at least he would consider you useful.

"Wait... I know you from somewhere... Aren't you the Darkling's girl? The one he gave flowers to at the Winter Festival?" A man with a ridiculous hat and guns at his side asks you. You roll your eyes at him, sighing.

"Yup. That was me." You admit it—a wave of whispers spreading across the deck of the ship. You feel the judging glances of the other crows at you.

"Poor girl. Fortunately, you've got it over with now. If you're lucky, next time you'll see him, he'll be dead." Nikolai comforts you, patting your shoulder. You move away from him, narrowing your eyes at him as you brush invisible dust from your arm—right where he touched you.

For them, his death would be a salvation. For you, it's the worst thing that could happen to you. Even worse than losing your own power.

"Oh, believe me, my prince. I can handle me a dangerous man like him." You reply, ignoring the angry look Alina gives you.

Nikolai chuckles awkwardly, responding with something joking to your remark. The group gathers in the captain's office over a table with reports, papers, maps, and Morozova's notes. They are discussing the plan, but you can't focus too much on it. You stare at the map, wondering where Aleksander could be right now, as memories of the Winter Fete come flooding back to you.

"I don't recall this thing as a part of the schedule. I thought it was only you and Alina who entertained people while I was looking lovely while standing next to the Fedyor and Genya for the whole night." You say it in an accusatory tone as you enter his chambers. You hear his small, deep chuckle as he closes the door behind you and turns on the lights in the room.

"And here I thought that flowers would help me get into your good graces, and you would forget that I dared to save you from the king's wandering eyes and keep you for myself in our shadows." He replies teasingly, slowly walking around the war table to join you.

"The flowers are pretty... but I'd like you to remember that I don't just control shadows. I am the moon summoner. A combination of both light and dark. You called me that yourself. So don't underestimate me just because I can't yet do what you and Alina can do." He frowns at your words and shakes his head. He brushes away some stray strands of hair that had fallen out of your elaborately styled hairstyle made by Genya and stares at you intently.

If you could, you would stare into his dark, chocolate eyes forever. And you weren't even ashamed of it.

"I don't underestimate you. I'm protecting you. Alina had already caught their attention—the king and his pampered prince. I don't want you to be next. Besides... am I so selfish that I want you to shine just for me?" His (not so innocent) question and the sweet smile he gives you make your heart melt for him. You pull him towards you by the collar of his kefta and kiss him sweetly, lazily caressing his plush lips with yours.

Aleksander Kirigan was addictive. His kisses were sweeter than the sweetest dessert you had ever eaten in the Little Palace's kitchen late at night with him, and his scent was intoxicating in the most dangerous way. You would never forgive yourself if you lost him; you couldn't imagine how your life would have looked if he hadn't shown up, literally swept you off your feet, and didn't take you into his strong arms.

You didn't know what he saw in you that convinced him to make you his, but you decided not to question it as long as he was your man and only yours. Even if he was a bit possessive at times.

"A little... but I think I can handle it." You whisper as you break apart after getting out of breath. His thumb caresses your cheek tenderly as he looks at you, smiling. You feel the light flow out of you under his touch. "How does it work? That you make me unleash my powers no matter the time of day?"

"You just need… a little boost. Once we find Morozova's stag, I'll make sure that you will get an amplifier from its bones. You'll be able to control shadows and light regardless of the position of the sun or moon." He assures you, tracing a few pegs with his thumb on your waist, massaging you as he slowly pushes you towards the war table.

"How romantic... men give their ladies jewellery, chocolates, and other sweet things, and I will get a bone amplifier from my man."

"Your man?" He asks teasingly, raising an eyebrow at you. His hands rest gently on your hips, playing with the fabric of your black kefta as he leans over you. His nose brushes against yours, and his dark eyes never leave yours as he plays with your belt, slowly undoing it.

"Aren't you one?" You answer his question with your own as he undoes the buttons on your kefta. He slides it gently onto the war table behind you, leaving you in your black silk dress. You shiver as his fingertips touch the bare skin of your arm and collarbone.

"I think I am..." He whispers, placing kisses on your neck. You purr as he coaxes both moans and light from you. You feel the heat on your skin grow with every second his mouth explores your skin, your power wanting to burst out of you to light up his war room.

"Aleks.. hmph..." You gasp as his lips connect with yours in a frenzied kiss.

You give him everything he demands. Your mouth, your tongue, your moans, your light, and your darkness, to play with as he sees fit. Nothing matters to you except his touch and his mouth and the way he uses them to caress you in the most lustful and pleasurable way, dedicated only to two people with a true, strong, untamed, and unpredictable connection.

You feel like he's everywhere. He is in your body, soul, heart, and mind. Your every little thought, breath, heartbeat, and moan of pleasure belongs to him. And he enjoys them immensely, almost as much as you enjoy his service. Aleksander serves your pleasure as he does to his Grisha—completely losing himself in you, giving you everything he possibly can. He is fucking you in the most demanding and breathtaking way, making you feel like nothing else exists for you but him.

As always, he's your crutch as you dig your fingers into him for a foothold, your muscles completely failing you as he guides you over the edge of bliss. Light floods the room, dispelling the shadows you and Aleksander had summoned earlier. He could just as easily take your powers away at that moment, and all you'd do is thank him and beg him for more.

You tug on his hair, pulling him into a kiss as you feel his movements become less regular and more desperate as he too approaches the peak of his pleasure. You find that the beautiful music that drifts through the window of the Grand Palace cannot compare to the sound your Darkling makes as he lets go of his control and restraint completely and allows himself to lose himself in you.

His shadows consume the room, making you see nothing, but at the same time you feel so much… and you can't say you don't like it.

You’re glad you can bite into his skin to muffle your moans a little. At least it’ll allow you to look Ivan in the eyes when you leave this room with Aleksander after Ivan calls him on urgent business.

Although your heartbeat remains unchanged as Aleksander’s hand grips yours tightly when he leads you through the corridors of the Little Palace. And from the uncomfortable grunt of the heartrender, you suspect that Aleksander’s heart is beating at least as fast in his chest as in yours. And it’s not all because of the adrenaline rush of learning of your sister’s sudden disappearance.

"I can feel your breathing on my neck, Aleksander." You whisper into the darkness, standing on the bow of the ship and staring at the foamy sea in front of you.

You shiver as familiar arms wrap around your waist. His warmer, bearded cheek rests against yours as you peacefully stare at the nightscape in front of you. Aleksander's fingertips stroked your sea serpent scale bracelet—your second amplifier that you, Alina, and her great team managed to get a few hours ago.

"You are becoming more and more powerful, milaya. Too powerful for my taste." He murmurs against your ear, and teasingly licks your lobe with his tongue. You tremble in his arms, biting your lip as you try to find some shred of control.

"Now that we don't talk, I don't care much. You should rather go and torment my sister, good Saints know that's your favorite thing to do lately." You huff and untangle yourself from his arms (which he reluctantly allows you to do). You walk to the starboard side and ignore him completely, playing with the shadows that came with his 'projection'.

"Jealous?" He asks teasingly. He acts too smug for your liking as he stands next to you and brushes your arm with his.

You don't know how exactly your connection allows him to appear next to you at any time he wants, but you don't like it, not when you can't do something similar and torment him whenever you want.

"About you? Never. We both know you're mine. But that doesn't mean I'm not irritated by you trying to seduce my sister into your plans." You reply, focussing your gaze on him. You allow yourself to take a closer look at the scars on his face—a new thing about his appearance besides the kefta in yours and his colours that Alina had mentioned to you.

The fold had clearly hurt you in more ways than one. And looking at Aleksander you can't help but feel sorry for him, because you imagine how much those wounds must have hurt him. You wonder if it hurt him more than when you both broke your hearts back on the ship in the fold.

Even more so, you cannot understand why he insists on keeping the fold and widening it.

"To be honest, I was hoping you'd react to my little... tamptetion of your sister and come to me to knock some sense into me. Then I could tie you to my bed and keep you with me. Maybe I should collar you like I did to Alina, since you ran away from me and betrayed not only me but also our people, our Grisha. Tell me, did my dear mother also convince you that she gave birth to a monster? Are you afraid of me, malyshka? Are you disgusted by the things I taught you and did to you in the darkness?"

"Not at all. You've been such an angel in those nights… pleasing me so well with your silver-tongue. What a shame you decided that you'd rather play with Ravka than with my pussy." You reply, running your hand over his jaw teasingly.

His beard is longer than usual, rougher, and standing so close to him you can see the outline of the black bags under his eyes. The civil war took its toll on him. But he was still too damn handsome to resist.

"Look how I depraved you, my sweet, little, innocent Saint. Just a few months ago, you blushed at my mere words—not to mention my touch—and completely forgot to respond with anything of your own. What a diligent student you became, milaya. Have you found a new teacher yet?"

"Why did you ask? Haven't you found some new students?" You ask mockingly, pushing his wandering hand away from your waist.

"Why should I waste my time teaching someone the tricks I've already shown you? It is much easier and more advantageous, for me, to find you and drag you with me back to the Little Palace than even start to look around for someone else. After all, I didn't spend that sleepless night, teaching you how to please me, just to let the other man enjoy the fruits of my hard work."

"Who said no one else than you haven't enjoyed it already?"

He responded to your teasing question with a low growl. He grabs your hips tightly, making sure that you won't run away from him and press his hips to your ass. Goosebumps appear on your skin, and your heartbeat speeds up when you feel his manhood against your body.

"You wouldn't dare. You know I would kill anyone who would even think about touching you. You are mine, my little moon. All mine."

"Right now, you are too far away to order me or claim your right to me, Aleksander. What a pity… especially when there are so many men who could be called mine instead of you." You said and pushed him away from you. "Have fun at your war." You growl at him and move to go under the ship's deck.

But you don't make it far away from him. After just a few steps, Aleksander grabs your arm and pulls you to his chest. Shadows swirl around you, making you unable to see anything. All you can feel is their coldness, the warmth emanating from Aleksander's chest, and his scent, which is like a drug to you after a long withdrawal—more addictive than anything in the world.

"Why the rush? Don't you want to spend a few more minutes with me? The Saints know I would. Very much so." He murmurs to your ear, making you shiver as his hands are holding you tightly, his fingertips dig into your arm, probably leaving you bruised the next day.

"Before or after you will destory half of the Ravka?"

"I haven't decided yet." He growls and leans towards you. Before you can react, he's tangling his hand in your hair and pulling you in, claiming your mouth in a passionate kiss.

You gasp, enjoying the sudden, unexpected feeling of his soft lips on yours. You instinctively tangle your hand in his night-black hair and pull him closer to you, biting his lower lip. You moan at the taste of his blood on your tongue, his fingers digging into your waist. He lifts you, forcing your legs to wrap around his waist as he pins you against the wooden wall of the ship.

He takes your air, every logical thought, and every heartbeat, stealing everything that's left of you to remind you that every last bit of you was tainted by him and will forever belong to him. No matter what he did, Alexander had claimed every last bit of you, all of you, and left nothing for anyone else, as if he would ever allow another person's lips to touch the places that were his.

His lips move to your neck, nibbling there and leaving a trail of hickies. His beard tickles your skin as you feel the familiar tingle of sunlight trying to break through you as his skin meets yours.

You freeze, realising that Aleksander is standing before you in his own flesh. This isn't a vision, a nightmare, or anything else. It's him. The REAL HIM.

You take a deep breath, but before you can say or scream, Aleksander's large, calloused hand covers your lips, which are chapped from the sea air.

"I told you I'd come back for you, milaya. No matter how far or fast you run, I'll always find you and bring you back to your rightful place. At my side." He whispers in your ear, sending a cold shiver down your spine and your heart racing, adrenaline pumping as you try to summon your shadows.

Any hopes you have of escaping are dashed by the sight of Ivan's red kefta behind Aleksander. Heartrender quickly slows your heart rate, sending you into a sleep state. The last thing you see as you collapse into the Darkling's arms is a bright light that must be coming from your sister. And part of you is glad you're unconscious. It means you don't have to look her in the eyes as you realise your mistake.

Strangely enough, you don't wake up on a ship at sea. Or handcuffed in some filthy cell. You wake up in a comfortable, warm bed in an unfamiliar chamber.

You sigh, stretching your aching muscles. You roll over, pulling the black silk sheets off of you, rubbing your hand over your eyes as the sunlight hits them.

You are surprised to find no one around you. Not a single living soul. You suspect that Aleksander has placed a heartrender by your door to watch over you. You decide to get out of bed and investigate your surroundings.

Your legs tremble as you slowly get out of bed. You steer yourself towards the window, using the wall as a support. You gasp as you see the buildings through the window, the houses of Os Alta, and most of all the familiar structure that was the Little Palace.

You shiver as the door suddenly opens with a bang. You turn around, watching Ivan carefully as he enters the room.

"You're finally awake. The Tsar wants to see you." He informs you and walks over to the closet. He pulls out a black kefta and hands it to you. You stare at the material for a moment, trying to make sense of what's happening around you.

"I won't wear this." You say stubbornly, refusing to wear his colors. You're too angry at him for kidnapping you to grant him any more small victories in your... little war.

"I doubt it will make him angry. Probably quite the opposite." Ivan comments, significantly lowering his gaze to the nightgown you have been dressed in.

You roll your eyes at him and yank the black cloth out of his hands. You expect to see an all-black kefta, similar to the one Alexander gave you at the Winter Fete, but you are… surprised to see embroidered silver detailing on the sleeves. You raise an eyebrow at Ivan, but he seems to ignore you, patiently waiting to be escorted to the throne room to face the new Tsar.

You reluctantly follow the heartrender, aware that your power is limited by the metal bracelet on your wrist—an accessory you remember vividly from when the Darkling entered the fold with you, Alina, and the Ravkan dignitaries.

You shiver uncontrollably as you remember what happened in the fold.

It was your first time crossing the fold, and Aleksander knew it, as well as the fact that you were afraid to cross the creation that killed your parents. Your only consolation was that now, if need be, you could summon at least a small ball of light to scare away the volcra. And that Alina would be there with you. But your Shadow Summoner had never even mentioned to you that your sister would join you on the ship against her will. A small omission of fact that had been happening to him more and more often lately.

"I can hear your thoughts." As if on cue, he stands right behind you. His hand—the one with the amplifier—reaches for yours and intertwined your fingers, squeezing your hand tightly in his grip.

"It's a pity that you only hear them and don't think about them even for a moment." You reply snidely, swallowing hard as you stare at your sister’s collar. When her gaze meets yours, you drop your gaze to her shoes.

"It had to be done. You know it."

"Do I? You haven't been telling me anything lately. You just keep saying that I'm too weak to fulfil your plans and that you need Alina." You reply angrily, turning to look into his dark as fold eyes. You shiver as you watch him clench his jaw and narrow his gaze at you, trying to ignore the curious glances of the invited nobility as he is trying to respond calmly to your allegations.

"I never said you were too weak. I said you needed an amplifier to unlock your true potential."

"And what difference does it make?" You snap at him madly, wishing you had more control over your emotions than he does. You guess it'll take you ages to master the ability of keeping up your mask of indifference like he does.

"That I know what you're truly capable of. Don't you think I'd rather stand by your side as we pursue our plan? Do you think that I wanted to do this to your sister? That I'm the monster my mother painted for her and you? Everything I do, I do for the sake of Grisha. For us. For you. I… I just need a little trust from you. That's all I'm asking, milaya."

"And you need to know how hard it is to trust you when my sister is chained to the floor of the ship, with a collar around her neck so you can control her powers." You whisper, voice breaking, holding back the tears as you face both your immense love for the man before you and your hatred for what he did to your sister.

"She never wanted it."

"But now she wants. Just like I never thought you could be more than the Black General to me, and here we are." At your words, he softens a little. He sighs and looks around. You can see that he is struggling with his thoughts, that he is considering your words, but you know as well as he does that your relationship is too weak for him to change his entire plan with one word from you.

You shiver, not from the cold that your black coat, strikingly similar to the one he wears, protects you from, but from a premonition of what's about to happen. Something you definitely won't like. But you allow yourself to delude yourself a little longer that everything will be okay. You reach for his hand and place a quick kiss on it, pressing your lips not to the bony amplifier but to his skin, which makes his gaze focus fully on yours again. As if you really were going to be his light in the darkness.

"Please... just don't prove me wrong. Don't make me regret trusting you so blindly." He doesn't respond to your pleas—something that should make you at least a little suspicious. But he doesn't. Instead, he tangles his hand in your hair, pulling you closer. He presses a kiss to your forehead, appreciating the feeling of your body against him for a moment longer before he lets you go completely to take care of Alina.

Now you know it was a farewell, that he knew you would not accept how he used your sister's power to intimidate those on the ship, engulfing Novo-Kirbirks in the darkness of the Fold.

Then everything happened so fast. And you're really grateful to Alina for dragging you to another ship, even though you were cursing her name and howling in the darkness of the Folds louder than the volcras. Because you know you would have jumped after Aleksander regardless, trying to protect him at all costs from the monsters he himself had created.

“We’re here.” Ivan announces, pulling you out of your thoughts. You literally only had a few seconds to prepare yourself to confront Aleksander before you were shoved into the throne room, the doors slamming shut behind you.

Before your eyes land on the Tsar, you allow yourself to scan the room for a moment. The throne room underwent a major renovation. It resembled one of the rooms of the Little Palace more than the former throne room of the Lantsovs.

As you might expect, the dominant colours are black and gold. Surprisingly, instead of sitting on his new black marble throne engraved with a solar eclipse, Aleksander is standing at a round table with a map of Ravka. His gaze meets yours, sending an electric shiver through you.

But what surprises you the most is that there are two thrones present in the throne room. Not one. And the second one has an engraving of a crescent moon.

"I heard you called yourself tsar, but somehow the rumor about you taking over the capital never reached me."

"You might have slept through it, Sankta Y/N." He responds to your mockery with his own. You wrinkle your nose at the sound of your most hated nickname.

"And how long exactly was I in that forced nap?" You ask, walking towards him with your arms folded. You lift your chin at him as he frowns at your defensive posture.

He puts down the reports he was reading before you arrived and takes a step towards you. You resist the instinct that tells you to back away from him, just as the one that demands from you to come closer to him and snuggle into him.

You marvel at how he managed to evoke in you both blazing fear and rage, as well as lust and love. The desire to be close to him seemed unable to weaken at all. No matter what he did, a part of you would always be his. And it was something you strangely didn't want to fight.

"A few weeks."

"Hmm… how nice. And how many times have you used my powers in your little plan to take over the title of Tsar, the Grand Palace, and well, probably all of Ravka in those few weeks?" You ask snidely, glancing briefly at Ravka's map and the papers on the table.

"You sound like you're suggesting that this was something I wanted to do, or at least something a little enjoyable for me. And I thought that you, of all people, knew me at least a little better."

"Do I?" You raise a questioning eyebrow at him, staring straight into those dark irises, trying to ignore the black scars on his face that you haven't had a chance to get used to yet. You can't help but wonder how he's put up with his... new face.

"You're asking me?"

"And who should I? Of the two of us, I'm not the master of half-truths here." You question him, undeterred by the shadows around him growing thicker with each of your mocking words.

"It wasn't a half-truth… I just kept some things in the dark to protect you."

"And look where your defending me has gotten us. What exactly were you trying to defend me from? From your mother, Fjerdan, Drüskelle, or perhaps from yourself, Aleksander?"

"I… it wasn't supposed to be like this."

You sigh, taking a step towards him. You place one hand on his kefta, just above his heart, and with the other, you cup his bearded cheek, forcing him to look at you.

"So tell me. Let me in on your plans. Don't treat me like a pawn in your game, but as your equal. Unless you do consider me as someone beneath you."

"You ARE my equal." He quickly confirms and takes your hand (the one resting on his chest) in a tight grip, intertwining your fingers as he stares at you pleadingly, feeling how close he is to having you on his side.

And all Aleksander ever wanted was to not be alone in his fight for Grisha. And he would have that. He would have you even if you ran away from him, screamed at him, called him a monster, and cursed him to the saints, if it meant he would never have to struggle against the world alone again.

"So start treating me like one." You reply and look pointedly at the bracelets on your wrists.

You see the internal battle that is going on inside him. You see him struggling to let you in and to be as vulnerable with you as you have allowed yourself to be with him. You know his past, you know perfectly well what he's struggled with, what he's been through over the hundreds of years, but if he wanted you on his side, he had to at least show you in some way that he was able to trust you the way you trusted him.

"I… you can't expect me to… after all this…"

"You once asked me to trust you. I did. Why can't I expect the same from you?" You ask, looking at him expectantly. "Do you think I am capable of hurting you more than you've already hurt me, moi Tsar?"

"That was never my intention." He frowns, refuting your accusations. He steps back, creating some distance between you, giving in to his defensive reflexes. But you don't back down. You'll make a good boy out of him and make him come to you and fall into your trap. He just needed a little push...

"I know. Which doesn't change the fact that I pay a price for loving you, and you, Aleksander? It would be so much easier for me to hate you. But I can't. I don't want to. So please, for OUR sake, don't give me a reason to."

You look up at him pleadingly with your most beautiful doe eyes and stop your lips from forming a smile when you see the effect it has on him as he slowly begins to melt his attitude.

You take a step towards him and grab him by the collar of his kefta. He stiffens for a moment but calms down when you pull him to rest your forehead against his. He sighs shakily and tangles a hand in your hair, stroking your temple with his thumb.

"Aren't you tired? Of fighting all the time, giving them everything and never getting anything in return? How many lives have you spent sacrificing yourself to Grisha, and how many have truly belonged to you?" You whisper and press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. His beard tickles yours and you smile slightly at the familiar, comforting feeling. You open your eyes and stare into his dark irises, mumbling against his lips. "We could have had this, Aleksander. We could have made Ravka stronger together, united Grisha and Otkazat'sya, built an empire the likes of which no one had ever seen before. We still can. I can convince Alina and the rest that you can be trusted, that our goals are aligned, only two paths lead to them, which we can connect, everything can still be changed. You no longer have to fight alone."

"You think I haven't tried their way? Grisha will never be treated as their equals. Not if we don't use force, if we don't instill fear in them."

"Aleksander... they are already afraid enough. Please. Let's find the last amplifier and end this. Don't you think it's taking too long? We can repel the Fjerdan, stop the Drüskelle attacks, intimidate the Shu Han, and bring peace and security, but only by combining our forces."

"It's too late for that."

"Who said that?" You ask, stroking the black scar on his cheek with your fingertip. He trembles under your touch, burying his face in your hand.

"They won't see me as anything more than a monster."

"Now yes. But I can show them the real you. My man."

"Your man?" He raises an eyebrow at you, placing a hand on your shoulder and caressing your collarbone tenderly. You shiver as you feel the power flow through you, answering the amplifier’s call.

"Aren't you?" You whisper, looking at him from under your lashes and lightly biting your lower lip.

A moment later, he gives in and leans forward, capturing your lips in a kiss. You sigh, tangling your hands in his hair and pressing your body against his. He pulls you back with him and sinks into the throne, with you on his lap.

You move your hands to his chest and slowly undo the clasps of his kefta, peeling the black material off of it. Alexander pulls away from your mouth and presses kisses along your jaw and neck, nipping and biting at your skin, marking it with hickeys as you work to undo his shirt.

You hold your breath and stop your movements as the bracelets on your wrists are suddenly removed. Aleksander places tender kisses on them, causing both light and shadow to flow from your fingers. You sigh, pressing your lips to his forehead and burying your nose in his hair, inhaling his scent.

"I think I am." He mumbles against the skin of your neck, his beard giving you small tickles that make your lips curve into a little smile. You lazily run your fingers through his hair and pull away so you can look at him.

You trace the black scar on his cheek with your fingertips, caressing it gently. Aleksander holds his breath for a moment and places his hand on your thigh, squeezing it when you touch a particularly sensitive spot on his still-aching wounds. Your heart aches to see him like this. You swear to yourself that this is the last time you'll leave him with his shadows, that you'll let anyone tear you from his arms and leave him alone in the darkness.

As you sit on his lap in his throne room... your throne room, you wonder how the hell you're going to explain this to Alina and the others. You wonder how you're going to convince them that you haven't completely lost your minds to the man beneath you and how to convince them that you both have only the best interests of Ravka in mind and have no intention of harming anyone in the process of increasing the freedom, security, and importance of Grisha.

You decide that's a problem for another time. Right now, you were happy to bask in Aleksander's embrace, warmth, and scent.

"Moya tsaritsa..." He whispers in your ear as he works on taking off your kefta.

Yep, you could definitely fix him... or at least that's what you wanted to think as he showed you heaven in the ruins of what was once Ravka. After all, a fallen angel is also an angel.

[fyxestroll]

Since you said it's okay to send requests, may I request Mortarion yearning?

pairing: mortarion x reader (gn.)

warnings: none

notes: this turned out a tad bit angstier than i intended tbh

Sickening.

Absolutely sickening

This spell. This curse you’ve put on him is worse than any disease he’s come across. It clouds his mind, makes his body weak and worst of all, it makes him happy to see you.

You.

A witch.

A vile, evil, disgusting witch.

He yearns, he looks forward to when he must cross paths with the Fifteenth. Oh, the idea makes him want to hurl! But your curse! Your little curse!

It makes him giddy! Relaxed!

It makes the presence of Magnus tolerable!

Magnus!

Of all brothers!

He watches. He longs. He yearns.

You stand across the hall from him, surrounded by a small crowd. Your clothing is made from fine Prosperian fabric cut and fashioned in a way that blends your home planet's and Imperial fashion. Your jewellery is in a similar style.

Masterfully, you entertain the crowd, reciting poems and excerpts with flourish. Occasionally, you would include your witchcraft and create moving figures from water to visualise whatever you were talking about.

You shone in their attention, their amazement becoming an element to be woven in your performance.

The mere title of Remembrances did not fit your talent.

Mortarion seethes at his realisation.

You are vile.

You are cruel.

A wicked witch.

He reminds himself that you are all three. You are no better than your master. In fact, you are worse.

But still, in his eyes, you shine. You become his focus. And the rest of the party becomes irrelevant.

Mortarion retreats further into the little corner he’s sequestered for himself this evening. Near the food table, against the wall and away from his brothers (mainly Magnus) it was perfect. He could eat and brood all he wanted until he could excuse himself as usual.

But here’s the kicker.

It was perfect.

Until Magnus decided Mortarion needed some of his attention.

The large red bastard saunters into his little corner glass of wine in hand. Smuggly, he grins and pops a hors d'oeuvre into his mouth and washes it down with a swig from his cup.

Mortarion internally cringes.

The witch king looks him up and down and comments unwantedly, “You clean up well, brother. If I had not known better, I would have thought dirt and smog were as part of you as Sanguinius’ wings to his.”

Mortarion scowls, clenching his own glass. His group is so tight that it would not surprise him if he broke it.

He does not give Magnus the reaction he was expecting as Mortarion keeps his eyes on you. For once, your curse has a positive effect. It has prevented another very public incident of a brotherly quarrel.

But Magnus is Magnus, and soon he hears a knowing tut beside him, “Ah…I see,” The sorcerer king follows his locked gaze and shakes his head, “my student has caught your eye. Quite talented, are they not?” he puts a hand on his chin and fakes being deep in thought.

Then he gives Mortarion that look, “Though I believe it is not their skill in warpcraft that has caught your attention .”

He clenches his jaw.

That was enough for Magnus to know. A shit eating grin takes over Magnus’ expression.

No doubt this was prime entertainment for him.

He turns.

He calls out your name.

Mortarion holds himself back from taking out his remaining eye.

Time slows.

You approach, gracefully exiting from your little stage.

Mortarion’s hands clam up.

You are even more beautiful up close.

“Master,” you bow to Magnus, “Primarch Mortarion,” then to him. It is elegant, graceful.

Your curse acts up, making his heart begin to beat faster, more erratically. Magnus’ introductions fall on deaf ears. The one nice thing his ugly witch brother does for him is wasted as he gets lost in you.

This is the first time he’s seen you up close, the first time you’ve ever looked at him.

He’s only ever seen you from a distance, admiring observing you in your natural habitat. He had only done so in a failed attempt to find out more about your curse.

Your eyes are kind.

It’s the first thing he realises.

You look at him softly, gently. It makes him feel all too bare, and he finds himself seeking his usual clothing. This ill-fitting dress uniform showed too much, but it showed the best. He cleaned up nicely, in Magnus’ words.

What would you think of him outside the forced glamour of tonight?

You reach out, fingertips touching his wine glass. Instantly, it cools to a pleasant temperature, perfect for the beverage.

On instinct, he moves when he registers the temperature change. The sudden jerk of his arm causes the liquid to slosh. Wine spills from his glass and splashes you.

It splashed you

IT SPLASHED YOU.

SHITSHITSHITHSIT

Crimson stains your clothing, ruining it. You look at him, wide-eyed and mouth agape.

His heart squeezes.

He opens his mouth, attempting to sputter out an apology, any apology.

Magnus interrupts him before he can, protectively putting himself between Mortarion and you. He sends you away with a psychic message telling you to go to one of the hidden lounge areas. His brother gives him a disappointed look. There was no anger in it. Just disappointment.

“I had hoped you would see past your biases, brother.”

With that, the Crimson King leaves to follow after his protege.

Your curse tightens its grip on him, rearing its ugly head and reflecting all that he is lacking. His collar feels too tight, mask suddenly dysfunctional, hands clammy. Why had he even attended this damned ball?

He watches you and Magnus, backs turned and moving away.

A lump forms in his throat.

His chest aches.

And once again, alone in his sequestered corner, he curses you for cursing him.

[queensharotto]

Brittle Doughie’s Cookie Run x Reader Masterlist (Part 9: Autumn 2024)

A masterlist of @brittle-doughie’s Cookie Run stories organized by month.

Genre Emojis

😞 is for angst, 🎃 is for Halloween, 🎄 is for Christmas, 🍪 is for Cannibalism, 💗 is for Yandere, 💝 is for Valentine’s, 👻 is for Horror, 🎂 is for Birthday, 💚 is for Yandere!White Lily Cookie, and 😈 is for Ancient Beast AU (Inspired by Cuppajj’s Beast Ancient AU)

The Indents are related to the featured cookies. If there are numerous cookies (Over 10 Cookies Featured), I’ll make a note on that as well. Additionally, I’ll categorize various cookies if they’re associated with a specific hobby, location, food etc.

Also, the ⭐️ will indicate a story featuring one of Brittle’s OCs while ✨ will indicate someone’s interpretation of Y/N Cookie.

Additionally, many people proved art to showcase to Brittle, which will be indicated by this: 🖌️. I will also mention who provided the art.

September 2024 🍂

• “Ambused in Pure Vanilla Cookie’s Quarters”

Featuring: Pomegranate Cookie and Dark Enchantress Cookie

• “You Won’t Leave Paradise? Would You?”

Featuring: Black Sugar Swan Cookie

• “Steamwork Accident”

Featuring: The Time Balance Department

• “Long Time Friend”

Featuring: Cookies of the Hollyberry Kingdom

• “Burning Kiss”

Featuring: Wind Archer Cookie and Shadow Milk Cookie

• “Baby Buttermilk Pie Cookie”

Featuring: The Five Beasts

• “Therapy Needed” ⭐️

Featuring: Dumpling Cookie and Golden Cheese Cookie

• “Compliments”

Featuring: Black Pearl Cookie

• “Obsessive Plants” 💗

Featuring: Herb Cookie, Peach Blossom Cookie and Clover Cookie

• “Pendants”

Featuring: The Elementals, Black Sugar Swan Cookie and Xylitol Nova Cookie

• “War Against the Beasts”

Featuring: Elder Faerie Cookie and the Five Beasts

• “Wisdom”

Featuring: Alchemist Cookie and Candy Drop Cookie

• “Starry Depths”

Featuring: Starlight Mermaids

• “The Tale of the Forced Hand” 😞

Featuring: The Five Beasts and the Witches

• “Mine”

Featuring: Black Sugar Swan Cookie

• “My Biker Girlfriend”

Featuring: Street Urchin Cookie

• “Prank”

Featuring: Elder Faerie Cookie and Xylitol Nova Cookie

• “Her Treasure… Gone…”

Featuring: Golden Cheese Cookie

• “Deal with the Ancients 2 (Preview)”

Featuring: Golden Cheese Cookie and White Lily Cookie

• “Partner and Bodyguard”

Featuring: Financier Cookie

• “Galacta Knight”

Featuring: Dark Enchantress Cookie, Timekeeper Cookie, Longan Dragon Cookie, Lotus Dragon Cookie, Snakefruit Cookie, Gingerbrave and Croissant Cookie

• “Comfort”

Featuring: Whipped Cream Cookie and Black Sugar Swan Cookie

• “Fae Marriage”

Featuring: White Lily Cookie and the Cookies of the Faerie Kingdom

• “Purple Rain Flower”

Featuring: Hydrangea Cookie and Lotus Dragon Cookie

• “Protect like a Parent”

Featuring: Black Swan Cookie, White Lily Cookie, Timekeeper Cookie and Xylitol Nova Cookie

• “After Them!”

Featuring: Burning Spice Cookie and his Army and Golden Cheese Cookie

• “Cherished Watcher”

Featuring: Caramel Arrow Cookie

• “The Coming Spice Storm” ⭐️

Featuring: The Cookies of the Cookie Kingdom, Golden Cheese Cookie, Salsa Cookie, Crowned Cupcake Cookie and Burning Spice Cookie

• “The Beast’s Own Worst Enemy”

Featuring: The Beast Cookies

• “Possessive Beasts”

Featuring: The Five Beasts

• “Watched” 👻

Featuring: Pure Vanilla Cookie and White Lily Cookie’s Sentient Statues

• “The Fallen Ruler”

Featuring: The 5 Beasts

October 2024 🎃

• “In the Eye of the Tiger”

Featuring: Nutmeg Tiger Cookie

• “Watching You”

Featuring: Mystic Flour Cookie, Shadow Milk Cookie and Burning Spice Cookie

• “Battle the Destroyer”

Featuring: Burning Spice Cookie and Golden Cheese Cookie

• “Taken”

Featuring: Burning Spice Cookie and Golden Cheese Cookie

• “Date with the Tiger”

Featuring: Nutmeg Tiger Cookie

• “Trophy”

Featuring: Burning Spice Cookie

• “Baked a Cookie of My Ex-Wife” 🖌️✨

Featuring: The Five Beasts

Art by @/xaytheloser (view their Benign Butter Cookie)

• “Keep an Eye on Them”

Featuring: Burning Spice Cookie’s Followers

• “Marks of the Beasts”

Featuring: The Five Beasts

• “The Fool”

Featuring: Shadow Milk Cookie, Gingerbrave, Pure Vanilla Cookie and White Lily Cookie

• “Princess Cookie is in Another Castle”

Featuring: Princess Cookie and Black Pearl Cookie

• “Recovering from Beast Experiences”

Featuring: Shadow Milk Cookie, Dark Cacao Cookie, Mystic Flour Cookie, Golden Cheese Cookie and Burning Spice Cookie

• “Five Nights with Dragons” 👻

Featuring: The 5 Dragons

• “Old Acquaintances”

Featuring: Onyx Cream Cookie

• “Tribute Day” ⭐️

Featuring: Brittle’s OCs

• “Seeing Double”

Featuring: Y/N Cookie’s Twin Cousin

• “A Beastly Family”

Featuring: The Five Beasts

• “Refuge” 😈

Featuring: Cookies of the Dark Cacao Kingdom

• “Need a Hand?”

Featuring: Jalapeño Cookie

• “Pangolin Protectiveness”

Featuring: Pepper Pangolin Cookie

• “Are They Sick?”

Featuring: The Cookies of Darkness

• “A New Story”

Featuring: Linzer Cookie

• “Disappeared”

Featuring: Croissant Cookie and Timekeeper Cookie

• “Male Partner Contest”

Featuring: The Five Beasts

• “This Could Have Been You”

Featuring: Butter Roll Cookie

• “Be Careful What You Wish For”

Featuring: Elder Faerie Cookie

• “The Fake Me”

Featuring: The Ancient Heroes

• “Too Cute to be Tough”

Featuring: Pepper Pangolin Cookie

• “Pretty Green Snake”

Featuring: Golden Cheese Cookie and Smoked Cheese Cookie

• “How Are They Doing?”

Featuring: Xylitol Nova Cookie and Xylitol Blue Cookie

• “Pucker Up”

Featuring: Pure Vanilla Cookie and Shadow Milk Cookie

• “Cannibal”

Featuring: Numerous Cookies

• “Wayward Soul”

Featuring: Parfaedia Cookies

• “Seed”

Featuring: Millennial Tree Cookie, Pomegranate Cookie, Licorice Cookie, Blue Lily Cookie and Lilybell Cookie

• “Warmth”

Featuring: Caramel Arrow Cookie

• “Timid One”

Featuring: Hollyberry Cookie

• “Baking Time” 🎃

Featuring: Everything Pie Cookie

• “A New Home”

Featuring: Pepper Pangolin Cookie

Divider Source l Next Masterlist l Previous Masterlist

[gumbootillustrations]

divine warriors loredump!

so yeah, the divine warriors! admittedly, i'm fascinated by them - i rlly rlly wish that we'd gotten to see more of them + their powers/domains/abilities in mcd, especially considering that they're a driving force behind the plot. so, i've gone ahead and done some redesigns for the sigils (above) and expanded on the domains and abilities of the divine warriors within the context of ashes, ashes.

more under the cut!

irene retains her matron title. for her domains, i rlly wanted to lean into her being a deity of life and family; as such, her official domains are  life, light, healing, childbirth and parenthood, fertility, marriage, tradition, beauty, and romantic/familial/platonic love. menphia also has domains over aspects of love (namely over sexual/carnal/manic love), but i wanted them to sort of have an aphrodite ourania (irene) and aphrodite pandemos (menphia) sort of vibe. in terms of the abilites that her relic gives its wielders, its a lot of what's seen in canon mcd: lots of healing and light abilities, but also some dimensional manipulation and time manipulation stuff thrown in there for the shits and giggles.

for shad, i rlly wanted to play into him being both a mirror and a foil for irene. where irene creates, he destroys; where irene brings life, he brings death. his official domains are that of death, darkness, chaos, the afterlife, change, rot and decay, the Nether, bloodshed, and madness. although he's also a war deity like menphia (and, to an extent, esmund and xavier), he's mostly associated with the worst bits of battle - the blood, the rot, the awful awful deaths, that sort of thing. his relic grants its wielders a lot of destruction-associated powers like disintegration and rot/plague/death stuff, but also some shadow and blood manipulation as well.

like a lot of other folks, i felt like enki was the best fit for a knowledge deity. he looks after scholars, librarians, witches, and inventors; officially, his domains are those of knowledge, air, magick, prophecy, the weather, winter, reason, and lightning. from here, you'll start to see pretty much all the warriors having some sort of like. elemental association? is the best way i can put it. i've sort of based it off of the minor arcana of the tarot; the suit of swords, which is associated with air, is the suit of knowledge and the mental realm, which i thought was fitting for enki. enki is also one of the four seasonal divine warriors (the others being esmund, menphia, and kul'zak); he gets winter, mostly because of his centre of worship being in gal'ruk. wielders of his relic get air and weather manipulation powers, as well as powers related to memory and access to witchcraft (if they aren't witches already). they also gain clairvoyance.

esmund! again with the tarot symbolism; esmund is associated with the element of earth and the physical world, hence the mountain in his sigil. his domains are those of protection, earth, wealth, autumn, boundaries, earthquakes, guardhood, and the harvest. the domain over the harvest might seem a little left field but it makes sense i promise! i sort of saw esmund's association with the harvest not only being because of him being an earth deity, but also because i feel like being able to provide is a form of protection, and given the setting of mcd, i feel like being able to provide a good harvest is a part of that. this is also why he is associated with autumn. regarding the abilities that his relic provides, there's a lot of earth manipulation and barrier/force field creation stuff in there; his relic wielders are also freakishly stronger and more durable than those who wield other relics, sort of playing into esmund himself being a tank.

i changed menphia's title to 'the conqueror' because i thought it'd be a bit more fitting for her, especially considering how i'm working tu'la in ashes, ashes (more on that later). i also changed her colour scheme to more of a blue/copper theme despite her being a fire goddess - i thought it was neat, considering that blue flames are those that burn the hottest. her domains are those of warfare (the glorious bits), fire, soldiers, political power, summer, passion and courage, festivals and celebrations, and sexual/carnal/manic love. i'm still not suuuper sure on the abilities that her relic gives its wielders, but there's definitely some pyrokinesis and emotion/heat manipulation, along with some combat-specific foresight in there. i'm open to suggestions!

nothing much really changes regarding kul'zak. he's a nature deity and watches over journeymen and particularly sailors, given that he's a water/ocean deity; he's often worshipped by pirates. officially, his domains are travellers, water, animals, the wilderness, the cardinal directions and navigation, hunting, and spring. i really wanted to lean into him being a man of the wilderness and not really having a home in urban environments. as such, his relic grants its wielders a lot of wilderness-based abilities, like shapeshifting, water and plant manipulation, and camouflage, with a bit of teleportation in there for all your wandering needs.

xavier is probably the divine warrior that i've changed the most. first off, he becomes a divine warrior in ashes, ashes where he isn't in canon mcd. i also really wanted to lean into him being the founder of the jury of nine, hence his title - the justiciar. he's associated with the domains of guardhood (along with esmund), loyalty, metal and metalworkers, justice, balance and order, peace, brotherhood, devotion, and artisans. where esmund looks after the more physical side of being a guard (being your lord's shield and spear, aka the protection side of things), xavier looks after the more emotional side of being a guard - the devotion to your lord and the comradery that you share with your fellows. his relic's abilities capitalise on that, with its wielders being able to both amplify and nullify the magick of the people they're fighting alongside/against. there's also a bit of metal manipulation and a lot of supportive magick in there too.

and, as a fun little tidbit - a lineup of the divine warriors! (the layout is inspired by @star-boi0720 - the way you lay out your drawings like this is mint as 🤩)

i'm still not suuuper happy w kul'zak or irene's designs but i'll get there in the end i guess :)

[wastemanjohn]

fic masterlist

wincest and daddycest. follow the smell of dead doves under the cut :)

sam/dean:

when i'm down on your knees you're how i pray Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 13,703; Warnings: Incest

Summary: It’s not as if Sam doesn’t know what makes Dean tick, after all. He can’t have forgotten all the fantasies Dean has shared with him over the years, even the really nasty, violent ones that flushed Sam's cheeks a glaring scarlet, evoked awed responses like "Jesus, Dean, you’re really into stuff like that?" Dean didn't mind - quite liked watching Sam squirm, actually - and he'd long since accepted that he’d likely never get Sam on board with acting out the more grisly tales buried deep in his spank bank. But then again, Sam is different since he...

Dean still can’t use the words “Sam” and “died” together in the same sentence.

some unholy war

Rating: Explicit; 12,328 words; Warnings: Incest, Canon-Typical Violence

Summary: Somewhere between a bar fight and the end of the world, Sam and Dean learn to take care of each other again.

exit light

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 3,730; Warnings: Incest

Summary: Tonight doesn’t smooth over all the ways their lives are in ruins, hand back all that he and Dean have lost, atone for all the things it’s driven them to. It certainly doesn’t change the fact that one year from now, Dean is going to die. 

heart of a dog

Rating: Explicit, Word Count: 2k, Warnings: Incest, Sam is 17

Summary: They were supposed to be going to the fucking laundromat. But that was almost four hours ago, and Sam can smell the musty sweat wafting through from where their clothes are still festering in the trunk. He should really have learned by now not to trust Dean, when he insists on his little bar detours on the way - just a quick one, Sammy, don’t be such a little bitch. The thing is, the chances of it being a quick one are always about as slim as Sam’s patience right now; and a quick one always evolves into half the damn bar when a pretty young thing catches Dean’s eye.

Her name is Daisy. Dean’s probably forgotten that by now. He’s definitely forgotten about Sam. 

♡♡♡♡

john/dean and sam/dean:

what it is

Rating: Explicit; 48,258 words; Warnings: Non Con Elements, Incest, Canon Typical Violence

Summary: Everything that has ever gone wrong for Sam and Dean starts and ends with John.

i don't mean to suggest that i loved you the best

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 1,930; Warnings: Incest

Summary: Dean’s need is a dark pit, a bleak, bottomless thing, and that’s the pull. That’s the lure, for John. People who need the way Dean does, people who want to crawl inside the ones they love and live there forever, they’re easy to control. They’ll do anything for you. John finds that fucking irresistible.

Sam hates his father. But he understands him perfectly.

with new bones in your closet

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 4,890; Warnings: Incest, BDSM

Summary: It’s almost funny. It’s almost too predictable that Dean would do this for John, be this for John, take his submission to all too literal levels.

destructive love is all i am

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 604; Warnings: Incest

Summary: Things like this don't just go away.

love is

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2323; Warnings: Incest, Non Con

Summary: Love is all you are.

shimmer and rot

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 3012, Warnings: Non Con, implied CSA

Summary: That witching hour loneliness can eat you alive.

snuff

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 4552; Warnings: Incest, Homicidal thoughts, Sam is 17

Summary: There's nothing good on TV, and Sam's contemplating killing his father again.

the world was so easily won

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 3153; Warnings: Dub Con Elements, Incest, Violence

Summary: The bites are about five days old now. They’re not healing well, skin-split punctures and raised pinks and purples. Any forming scabs have chafed raw all over again under Dean’s clothes. And Sam’s running his fingers over the worst ones, almost gentle, like a doctor examining an open wound. There’s nothing at all gentle about Sam’s rage-tight mouth though. Nor his mutter of, “I’ll fucking kill him.”

♡♡♡♡

johndean

toss me a breath when you hold me down

Rating: Explicit; 1624 words; Warnings: Incest, consensual non consent

Summary: It's never been quite like this.

and if you crave it then you know that you are injured

Explicit; 3593 words; Warnings: Non Con Elements and a very nasty John

Summary: He doesn’t even flinch when John’s hand comes down on his thigh. Doesn’t pull away when John flutters his lips over the nape of his boy’s neck and whispers, “Why don’t you let me take care of you?”

when i hear your lips make a sound

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2682; Warnings: Incest

Summary: It's a damn risky thing to do, with Bobby asleep upstairs. But Dean never disobeys his father, and he’s horny as all hell. It’s not a prime combination for sensible decision making.

i heard love is blind

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 12,764; Warnings: Incest; addition of John/OMC

Summary: There are a few shadowy figures on the sidewalk, the night’s offerings left on the shelf. They're all boys, their frames slight and their legality dubious. They look up at the sight of John’s headlights, but he keeps his head forward and carries on driving. He’s seen exactly what he’s looking for just up the street.

The boy is alone. He's a cookie cutter street whore, all mesh and tight pants. John can see the ghostly entrails of his breath, the skinny arms wrapped around his chest like chains. When John winds down his window, the kid steps forward in a tired, non-urgent sort of way. His lack of pretence is appealing.

John checks him over to make doubly sure that he's the right choice. He’s tall. His hipbones jut a little, distorting his tight pants, the waistband flapping over his barely there stomach. His hair is a few shades light of brown; it's short, but chunky and uneven, like he's cut it himself without a mirror. When John peers closer, he can see that the kid's lips are full and pink. That definitely helps. He's not to John's exact specifications, especially with his completely absent bulk, but he'll do. Beggars, choosers, all that noise.

and you learn how to settle for what you get

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 3,163; Warnings: Dub Con, Incest

Summary: Yet John chooses this, over and over again. John loves Dean more than he loves anything.

sharp teeth, dry heat

Rating: Explicit; Words: 2504; Warnings: Incest, grief (addition of dean/ofc)

Summary: Your world was terrifying, and John knew how hard he was to love.

someone forever warm

Rating: Explicit; Words: 4290; Warnings: Incest

Summary: He takes a moment to enjoy the thought that John has slayed the monster, now he’s come to claim his prize.

trade

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 771; Warnings: Non Con Elements

Summary: You'll hide from mirrors until the marks fade away.

nowhere boy

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2528; Archive Warnings: Incest

Summary: The true meaning of Christmas is family, and all that crap. Everyone always forgets about Jesus. Probably a good thing, Dean thinks, as he adjusts the red ribbon around his neck with its dumb little bow and checks himself out one last time in the smudged bathroom mirror. Jesus definitely wouldn’t approve of what he’s about to do.

quiet room

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 1878; Archive Warnings: Non Con, Incest, BDSM

Summary: This is what love looks like.

the dark is light enough

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 3219; Archive Warnings: Incest

Summary: It's hard, with the lights on. Lights on, with his boy so close John can hear his pulse; see the freckles dusting the tops of his thighs, the strip of fine hair from his belly button down to his groin; pert pink nipples on a chest that blushes from the middle out when he's excited, all these intimate details John shouldn't know; but he sits with it, he breathes it in and he lives with it. The closeness; the vulnerability; like an exposed nerve.

Yeah, it's hard, hard to face this. Who they are, what they've become. But John isn't doing it to punish himself. He's doing this for Dean.

yesterday's hymn

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 1323; Warnings: Non Con; past CSA: addition of original male character

Summary: A bad man doesn't pawn his soul so his son can live.

so many moving parts

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 7302; Archive Warnings: Incest

Summary: And sure, no one’s actually said the word anniversary, but they've never had a day like this before.

when the stiff wind blows

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 8625; Warnings: Incest, BDSM

Summary: Dean is in tune with John's patterns and emotions, even some four states outside of their blast radius; and when John withdraws, Dean chases. Dean knows his absence, his distance, when John is not fucking handling it. And somewhere along the way - he learned how to help.

then leave me the bones

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 6816; Warnings: Heavy Angst, Incest, Dub Con

Summary: John’s moods are like a slow growing tumor. Easy to miss at first. Causing all kinds of problems when it's too late.

stutter

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 1655; Warnings: Incest

Summary: You know there is so much harm Dad could do in these moments, if he were so inclined. He as good as says it himself sometimes, with his quiet promises of I'd never hurt you, Dean, like a pre-emptive hail Mary for his sin.

♡♡♡♡

johndeanna:

now bleed for me

Rating: Explicit; Words: 3689; Warnings: Incest, Gunplay

Summary: John comes back unsteady, whisky on his tongue, scents of tobacco and cheap perfume clinging to the jacket Deanna loves to wear, because it’s so heavy and big on her, it smothers her like a hug. My dad, Deanna thinks, broken in all the same spots she is, yet so remote. My dad.

i've loved all i've needed, love

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 4602; Warnings: Incest

Summary: She never seemed to realize that her daddy's a piece of shit. John hates the way she found out.

this dream is for you (so pay the price)

Rating: Explicit; Words: 2,333; Warnings: Incest

Summary: So John comes to her, during that weird time that's not really morning or night, comes to her after they've finished half a bottle of Jack and a pack of Lucky Strike between them, comes to her with everything on his face that sits heavy and acidic in Deanna's heart.

all you wanna do

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 10,178; Warnings: Incest, Misogyny

Summary: For the prompt: Deanna’s boyfriend gives her a red lingerie set for Christmas that she opens in front of John (optional: Sam). After OMC is sent home with a chastisement, John makes her show them off to him. Or, Deanna has started dating and John is a fucking creep about it.

a simple motion

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2353; Warnings: Incest

Summary: But watching her - watching her is different. Watching isn't touching, and there's no law against that.

i'll be your mirror

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2551; Warnings: Incest, Misogyny

Summary: The girl in his bed isn’t quite his wife, but in the glowy relative darkness she has room to morph. 

one day like this

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 6182; Warnings: Incest, grief

Summary: Sam goes through his father's old photos.

♡♡♡♡

sam/john

coming up roses everywhere

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 14618; Warnings: Incest, Sam is 17

Summary: Where John wasn't planning to snoop around Sam's laptop, but his boy seems to be hiding something.

♡♡♡♡

john/dean and sam/john

don't say you need me when you leave and you leave again (samjohn only quietly implied)

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 8,224; Warnings: Non Con Elements; implied sexual abuse

Summary: Maybe Dad felt the kind of loneliness that ate away at your soul until you lost sight of the fact that you were even alive, maybe Dad needed to grab the nearest willing body and pull it close, close.

♡♡♡♡

dean/mary

this be the verse

Rating: Explicit; Word Count 6822; Warnings: Big Non Con warning for this one. Additional pairings: johndean

Summary: There are a lot of things that Dean doesn’t tell Mary about her husband. It’s best that John stays 27 in her head forever, like Hendrix or something, young and beautiful and fucked up in a pretty unremarkable way.

♡♡♡♡

dean/fem!Sam

when the earth moves again

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 1947; Warnings: Incest, somnophilia

Summary: It was something. Something that felt good; something that some part of him was willing to give her, even if it wasn't conscious, even if it wasn't much. And hell, Sam didn't have much in life that made her feel good.

♡♡♡♡

sam/fem!dean

hunky dory

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 4917; Warnings: Incest, pregnancy resulting from incest

Summary: Deanna went out this afternoon. For hours. Didn't say where she was going; but it's got to be the first time she's left Bobby's place in weeks. She left her phone behind on the nightstand, in this way that Sam couldn't help but suspect was intentional, because there had to be something about that; had to be something in the way Deanna caught Sam's eye through the window as she was coming back, all slow down the path with Dad's jacket over her shoulders and this tight expression on her face. Something in the way Deanna had sharply changed direction at the sight of Sam, veering off until she faded into the salvage yard and Sam couldn't see her anymore. And it's not that Sam meant to be hovering near the front of the house at the exact moment of her return like a worried parent, but shit happens.

Let her be, son, Bobby had said, without looking up from his scotch and that leatherbound demonology book he'd been annotating all day. Harder you push, the more she's gonna clam up.

It bothers Sam when Bobby talks like that, like he knows Deanna better than Sam does or something. As for letting her be - well, if Bobby knows Sam at all, he's got a strange way of showing it

♡♡♡♡

john/original male character

safe in the dark (how can you see?)

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2492; Archive Warnings: Non Con Elements

Summary: Because maybe there was something about Dad's energy that fizzled with those weary neon lights; and Dad still didn't say much, and Sam still can't read the man's mind, but you don't live for eighteen years close enough to rub up against each others last nerve without learning how to spot when something might be wrong. And theres always something wrong with Dad - he's sour faced and miserable, the cause of that changes day by day - but he'd been so insistent. You don't leave this car, Sammy, okay? This guy's a loose cannon. I don't want him to see you.

Sam had snorted, and Dad had looked at him with resigned contempt; but it had faded quickly, and there'd been that something Sam couldn't put his finger on as Dad had got out of the car. Something about the way he didn't look to check Sam was obeying, something stilted in his footsteps. Something that made Sam log the path he took across the parking lot, register the room number he knocked on. The door had opened, and Dad had gone inside, but it had closed so quickly that Sam hadn't been able to see the guy. The loose cannon.

[rei-ismyname]

Logan shouldn't be allowed near children

I know that's a loaded title but I stand by it. There's obviously an element of Flanderisation going on but considering his stated reason for opening the Jean Grey school he is far too eager to murder children.

Why TF is he leaping at children, snarling with his claws out? Check out the frothing drool.

For example, in All-New X-Men, the O5 have just been bought to the future by Hank McCoy. He stops teaching his violence through yelling class and heads out the front, leaping at the 16 year olds with his claws out. Not Hank, who brought them there but clearly traumatised children - while screaming like a lunatic of course. Even if he's not trying to kill them, what purpose does terrifying them serve? He clearly IS trying to kill them, though. I'm sure his students would love to see their headmaster butcher confused children in front of them.

Unsurprisingly, he scares the fuck out of them. In part influenced by constant threats of his violence, the O5 steal the X-Jet and flee, explicitly doubting this guy is an X-Man. His thoughts about the 16 year old Jean Grey... No dude, this isn't the Jean you know. She's a child you've tried to kill. Fucking creep.

This one is great. Young Scott has enough going on without this frothing beast advocating for his immediate execution as punishment for his future self's actions. Out front of the school with literally everyone watching. He's using his authority to advocate for slaughtering a child. Thankfully nobody agrees with him, but this is traumatic, terrifying, and affects Scott especially so badly he runs away.

No wonder he freaks out and leaves. Obviously the headmaster of a school should drop what he's doing, not for his wellbeing but to get his bike back. How is he in charge of anyone's wellbeing or moral instruction? He demands absolute obedience while doing nothing to deserve it. It's all about how Logan feels.

Here he is trying to gut a 15 year old Wiccan for having Scarlet Witch vibes, not for the or last time. I'm a little surprised he remained an Avenger after this. When you have knives for hands everyone looks like a pincushion. Except that's not it, because everyone else is a living weapon too and they mostly manage to be somewhat rational.

Why are his claws out here? Is he trying to kill him? What did he expect after threatening and traumatizing him? Snarling and shouting like an animal - isn't he trying to emulate Chuck here?

I can't remember why he's doing this but it's not the first time he's tried to kill Hope. Didn't work then either.

A 16 year old Jean uses a telepathic projection of the Phoenix to aid Wolverine in a fight. He stupidly thinks it's real and straight up tries to kill her. The bad guys get away. Not sure how many times he has to attempt to kill the Phoenix before he understands it's not an appropriate thing to do, nor is it about him. He's more like Sabertooth than he thinks, except he thinks he's in the right and somehow never gets called out. Logan has advanced senses - how is his instinct to straight up kill her instead of investigating further?

We can do better

I think that once Logan reached a certain point of saturation he became static. The lone wolf that's the best there is at what he does, and what he does is behave so unpleasantly it's hard to believe anyone would want to be near him, let alone allow him to run a school. He says 'bub' a lot and he snikts at the drop of a hat while repeating the same interpersonal drama over and over. I see him as a frequent self insert for the worst kind of toxic masculinity yet he's more popular than ever. No judgement if you like him at all, but I think the character deserves better. Somehow he's still a misunderstood loner despite a lot of people knowing him very well - with the amount of teams and books he's in he has the most active social life in 616. It'll never happen but I'd like to see him retire, as there are several Wolverines better than he..

[star-cosmos]

Could Silent Salt have betrayed the Beasts?

I know I've already talked about this but I kinda wanna go into more detail about this theory since episode 10 might have added more fuel to it. (Because hyperfixation go brrr I guess)

just as a heads up, this will contain spoilers for the end of Beast Yeast Episode 10.

So, Silent Salt might be at least semi responsible for the Beasts being sealed away.

Based on the ending of both Episode 8 and 10 of Beast Yeast, we know that a mysterious figure, most likely a cookie, may have helped the witches seal the Beasts into the Silver tree.

We don't know who this cookie could be, but it's possible that they could either be someone related to Silent Salt or Silent Salt themselves.

In episode 8, we get to see a small glimpse into the moment where Shadow Milk was sealed. There, we see a figure. We can't tell who it is for sure, but it weirdly looks similar to Silent Salt.

Though it also kinda looks like Elder Faerie or Fire Spirit's base form, and while possible I doubt it. Elder Faerie's dead now and the elemental cookies have their own subplot at the moment.

(plus didn't the brave gang already start recruiting the Elemental Cookies? Cookie Odyssey made it clear that the elemental cookies were needed to beat Dark Enchantress Cookie. Do we really need another reason to get them in the main story?)

As for Episode 10, while the figure we see doesn't look like Silent Salt, they were described as being 'A Most Honored Guest' and 'Silent as the wind'.

Both are things that would fit Silent Salt well if this encounter took place before all the Beasts were corrupted. Plus, the Beasts' color scheme seems to be heavily influenced by their soul jam color. Prior to corruption, their soul jam was white/silver, so it'd make sense if they used to wear white.

And while I know that the Beast trailer had pre corruption designs (which we only saw the silhouettes of), those designs aren't very accurate to the pre corruption designs we got in game. So there's a good chance that the same'll be for Silent Salt.

From what Sugarfly explained, the two of them talked for a long while, and then the Silver Tree was planted.

Of course there are some issues with this theory. For example, had Silent Salt really been responsible for the Beasts being sealed away, then why would Shadow Milk refer to them as one of his friends. And if they did betray the beasts, why did they also get sealed away?

For the first thing, Shadow Milk is a liar. He lies to everyone, including and ESPECIALLY himself. We also know for a fact now that the Beasts aren't exactly on the best of terms at the moment. Maybe they were friends once, but as of right now their relationship seems pretty strained.

So if one of the Beasts betrayed the others, if one of them was the reason they were sealed away, I think Shadow Milk would lie to himself about it. Turn away from the truth like he's done all too often and pretend one of his friends wouldn't do that.

Especially not Silent Salt. Not the cookie which used to represent Solidarity.

But the idea that someone Shadow Milk trusted sealed the beasts could explain his crash out when Pure Vanilla asked to be his friend at the end of Beacon of Truth. I don't think he'd react like that if the Beasts simply grew apart due to their corruption.

And the worst part is we know Shadow Milk wanted to accept the offer. He wanted to be Pure Vanilla's friend, but didn't let himself.

As for the other issue in this theory, there's something I've been wondering recently about Silent Salt based on the little we know about them.

Was Silent Salt actually corrupted before the Beasts were sealed?

This question stems from the inconsistency of Silent Salt's Soul Jam in the few instances we've seen. In the 3rd anniversary asset, the soul jam is placed on their torso and is a purple/dark purple. But in nearly every other instance, it's on their sword and a white/silver.

With how often we see Silent Salt's Soul Jam on their sword, you'd think that Devsis might have just made a last minute change to their design. But I doubt that's the case.

To start, look at the 3rd anniversary asset for Silent Salt, look at the sword. There's an indentation/hole the exact shape of the soul jam. Meaning that at some point that was where Silent Salt's soul jam used to be.

This is further proven in Silent Salt's part of the Beast Gacha Mural.

The soul jam is not on the sword, It's neither purple or white and lacks the extra details Silent Salt's soul jam has. Meaning that their sword is likely covering where their soul jam actually is. This also mean that their the only beast who isn't showing their soul jam in the beast mural.

Last time I pointed this out, I said that the hole in the sword it gave off the illusion that Silent Salt's soul jam was upright, due to how they hold they usually hold it facing downward. But now I wonder if there's actually a specific reason for that.

Another thing is the Beast trailer. When we see Silent Salt attacking the cookies, their soul jam is still white. Glowing purple, but ultimately white.

And while the other Beasts' soul jams were glowing, their soul jam color stayed the same. Devsis could have easily made Silent Salt's soul jam purple here, but they didn't.

Then at the end of the trailer, their soul jam's color changed.

I should also note that while Silent Salt was being sealed, their soul jam was still a. On their sword and b. white/silver. Which could imply that Silent salt wasn't actually corrupted before their imprisonment.

We know that Soul Jams can change both color and shape post corruption, as seen in the Herald of Change (his soul jam used to be orange) and Sugar of Happiness (her soul jam's shape changed to be sharper) flash backs. So the idea of Silent Salt's soul jam changing color isn't too farfetched.

If this is true, then it's safe to assume that Silent Salt may have been the last Beast to fully corrupt. Which would parallel how White Lilly was technically the first (and only, at the moment) Ancient to corrupt (outside of costume AUs).

As the former Virtue of Solidarity, I can imagine that Silent Salt wouldn't like the idea of their friends turning their backs on all they knew and hurt the cookies they once swore to protect. To go against everything they stood for as Virtues.

And I'm assuming that Silent Salt was at the very least mid corruption during their part of the Beast trailer, just because of the Purple glow on their soul jam.

So it's fully possible that Silent Salt, knowing the danger their allies were turning into, knowing the danger THEY were turning into, went to Elder Faerie and planted the Silver tree as a means to protect everyone from the beasts.

Silent Salt being Sealed away along with the other Beasts could have been a precaution if they weren't fully corrupted by then. Or maybe the final straw depending on how they viewed the witches before then, as it's only after that scene where we see Silent Salt's soul jam change to a dark purple.

So... yeah, I think Silent Salt might have had a hand in sealing the beasts into the Silver Tree. This is mainly just speculation until the next (and maybe last?) two episodes come out, but I definitely think it's possible.

At least that's based on what I'm aware of. Could be a mistake here or there.

[deviantlair24]

Careful what you Purchase from a Witch (Fem Human x Magic Smile)

You were walking down the street after picking up the latest fantasy erotica story from your local bookstore when you stumbled upon an old worn down shop. 

You poke your head in, hearing the bell ring as you enter. No one was there to greet you so you began to look around, your brow raising as you noticed some of the items were a little... weird.

You recognised some of the items to be magical such as the Monkey paw, and Hand of Glory, there were also strange items in jars and when you passed one labeled “Sex Slime” Your interest was piqued. 

You debated buying the sex slime, it sounded interesting at the very least, worst comes to worst you bought some type of gag item and nothing happened. 

You glanced around as you came to a decision before letting out a cough, picking up the jar and heading for the register. You placed the jar on the dusty counter, looking around for some kind of owner or worker. 

After a few moments of waiting you rang the bell that had been sitting to the side, hearing a shuffle from the back room as you did. A middle-aged woman made her way out of the back with a friendly grin on her face “Sorry hun, just me here and I had to use the bathroom” she said with a self deprecating chuckle before her eyes caught what you were purchasing. 

She smirked as she glanced at you “Be careful, it can have a mind of its own and I don’t do returns” She said pointedly. 

You flushed but nodded and mumbled out a “Thanks” as you paid and put the jar in your purse with your book before quickly making your way home. 

Once your roommate had left for work and you were alone you closed your bedroom door, lit some candles, and turned off the lights before going to lay down in bed. 

TO BE CONTINUED ON PATREON (FREE) - HERE

Full story - 1.2k words

Double Penetration, Forced Orgasm, Tentacles, Overstimulation, Slight Dub-Con elements

[morganafayes]

morganafayes bbc merlin fic rec list <3

hiiii here is a tiny little fic rec list i made for fun of some of my personal underrated faves in the fandom!! i've tried to avoid stuff that's already pretty well known + have a decent balance so hopefully yall might find some new stuff you haven't seen in here :)

the witch and the queen - toxic morgwen slay <3 very short!

in our quiet hour - i mean just read everything by lupinely. its all so good. its everything. they have never missed. id recommend 'castled' by them too... insane merthur fic. their dynamic is perfectly written. also their gwen character study mwah

heir - gen, arthur & merlin. genuinely have never once stopped thinking about this since i read it and it makes me sick :/

off the deep end - now THIS. this is good shit. toxic merthur modern au where they are exes and hate each other and hurt each other. finally someone who gets their specific brand of codependent toxicity. bbc merlin modern aus peaked here i dont care

swan down - nimueh ficlet about her relationship with arthur. gave me many brainworms............ please read it. its very short and it will make u crazy.

this graveyard - ok i havent finished reading this yet bc its like 10k. but its morgana/gwen and a rewrite of the whole dark tower thing which as you all know is the bane of my existence. society if the the writers had actually written that episode well etc etc.

i hear deserts heal your history - THEEEEE fic of all time. genuinely i have never stopped thinking about this fic ever. i have such complicated feelings on it. it makes me want to die and throw myself off a cliff at the same time. this is the morgana centric fic of all time genuinely she is done SUCH justice here oh my god but also. everyone is very mean to merlin. my poor guy..... :( in terms of morgana fics though. a must read <3 also great exploration of the mergana dynamic. reading this was truly where my mergana crusade started btw. also read their other morgana fic its absolutely fantastic (i havent finished it either though because im slow asf...)

living for the hope of it all - mercelot warriors come get your heartwrenching angst <3 i have more mercelot fics to rec if people want. i hate them and i love them

ouroboros - merlin/morgana. insane freaks at it again. my fave victims of lavender divorce

drawing lines - gwen character study which i <3.

the chakra of merlin - okkk this is a strange one. it feels almost semi incomplete because although it does. end. it doesnt really. its most interesting for its sci fi elements + character exploration which i find really interesting and well done. merlin is truly unhinged here in the worst ways. when is he not though

the huntress' heart - mithian/gwen slay!

tongue tied - yeah its another truth spell merthur fic... what can i say im basic. its very good though!

dragons! - morgana/gwen. super short and cute <333

[sam-keeper]

Hey Look At This Comic: Homestuck Beyond Canon (Again)

you know that first time in The People's Joker where she's doing her "worst thing that ever happened to you" stand up gimmick, just having Poison Ivy recite their tragic backstory while Joker stands there getting blitzed out of her mind on drugs and laughing hysterically?

I felt that, lol.

Homestuck has this... tone that's always appealed to me, one that's sort of in that wheelhouse. So much of the humor in Homestuck is deeply goofy, while gradually drifting, like an unmoored boat, towards a waterfall with a bunch of sharp rocks at the bottom. that's, to an extent, just dark internet humor. I've been around the block, I grew up with Perry Bible Fellowship; Andrew's penchant for shock jokes wasn't new to me at the point where I hopped on the Homestuck ocean liner (they called it unsinkable!). but often its jokes structurally involve a kind of escalation from funny, to fucked up, and back to absurdity again, and that has both always been my sense of humor, and certainly my experience of personal catastrophe. and what makes Homestuck often so resonant is the way past that point of absurdity it finds a personal or thematic resonance.

I mentioned, in my last post like this, that for a while Beyond Canon felt unwilling to push the audience outside its comfort zone, and could come across as outright fawningly apologetic for stuff that, not to put too fine a point on it, I watched my friends put their hearts into before HS2's cancellation. I also mentioned in that post, though, that one moment a few updates ago made me sit up, stop skimming, and pay attention. this joke, specifically (cw for pet death and also pet suicide I guess?):

this is pretty weird and morbid! what a fucked up little story! I love the structure of this joke. In a few lines we get this progression from a genuine exploration of Jade's traumatic experiences trying to live like a normal person on Earth C, which cascades into this weird, pretty upsetting anecdote. then it escalates further into the farcical image of the suicidal hamster. it's a propulsive joke, a vehicle with no one at the wheel, and structurally Rose and Kanaya's interjections underscore both this energy, and the true to life sense of a conversation-turned-frantic trauma dump. I've certainly both endured and inflicted a few of those in my life! and, of course, Kanaya's frustration acts as a second punchline to the scene, reminding us that the whole reason this argument is happening is cause Kanaya's mad that Jade fucked Rose behind her back. it's like if the Spongebob glass bones and paper skin gag was contextualized by cuckoldry.

that's enough to justify the joke, and it was enough to keep me actually reading rather than skimming like I had with earlier upd8s. it's a well formed gag that has sharp, uncomfortable edges while remaining, at least to me, very funny. that's Homestuck, or at least baseline writing sizzle Homestuck.

what pushed it over into more interesting territory for me, though, was the pages that followed, which delve deeper into Jade's choice to keep her and Rose's child "Yiffy Longstocking Lalonde-Harley" (pfftttthahahha) a secret. I love the art above of Jade passing Yiffy out through a window, menaced by shadowy claws all around. it's a fittingly fairytale image for the Witch of Space--a reminder of the weird multiple registers of this story about stunted adults who also happen to be universe-spawning gods. it also demands a serious reread of other elements of the chapter. Homestuck likes to operate on registers at once absurd and resonant, after all. like, Jade's comment about not wanting people to "bark at [Yiffy] while walking down the street", in the context of defending her action of impregnating another woman's wife, could be understood as her talking about specifically transphobic street harassment. it's just filtered through the Homestuckian absurd situation of Jade being a magical dog girl.

in that context, why have a whole riff about a suicidally lonely hamster? well, surely if there's a metaphorical pet dying of loneliness in the Homestuck Epilogues in particular, it's none other than Jade Harley. isolation is core to her narrative: one of the current demiurges of the metanarrative informs her that as a Space player lonely power is her destiny! of course this bizarre, disturbing, and unhinged anecdote would resonate with her to the point of becoming fixation. like, it's barely subtext right? not dying of loneliness is her stated reason for wanting to have a daughter. not wanting her daughter to suffer her same lifelong social isolation is her stated reason for keeping that daughter secret, even if it meant making a deal with a sugary devil.

it's that level of deeper resonance that makes the joke so characteristically Homestuckian, or Hussnasty if you will. I'm glad I jumped back on when I did. the writing feels more and more confident these days. which is great, because beyond this kind of sharp, multi-layered character driven humor, Homestuck's style is most defined by being unapologetically itself.

this review originally ran on Cohost May 23, 2024. you can read more reviews in the Hey Look At This Comic tag and support me on Patreon.

[agatharkn3ss]

My ep.5 predictions

The Plot:

Agatha has her trial as she's the Spirit element

Agatha's trial is her worst nightmare - she needs to be given power from a witch who is willing to do that, so she needs to play nice and ask for power instead of being annoying or antagonising

Rio helps to restrain/calm down possessed Agatha because she knows her wife best

Alice reveals she's had power all along and saves Agatha

Something happens to Alice :(

They exit the trial on broomsticks (into the air trial next?)

Salem Seven attacks (we find out who they are?)

We get some flashbacks to Agatha's past and how she tricked witches into blasting her before (and how Agatha and Rio met?)

Teen's and Rio's identities are hinted at/revealed

Bonus Bingo:

Rio says something romantic

Rio or Agatha say something in Spanish

We hear Agatha and Rio's theme

Agatha talks to a goat

Lilia has a "blip" at the least appropriate time

Jen totally looses her cool

Agatha smashes something to the ground

Agatha vaguely answers a question about the Road

Agatha's coat is being dramatic

[burningcheese-merchant]

Would it be okay to have a small story request I've found? It's based on a small comic of Burning Spice and Golden Cheese that Burning Spice got a cold and his little birdy laughed at him that, him, the Beast Of Destruction caught a cold, but that backfired when Burning Spice kissed her with his sickness. In the end the two end up getting sick.

Golden Cheese: Are you feeling better now?

Burning Spice: Yes

I know what you're talking about! That little comic by wabeceucho on Twitter, right? I love them, they make premium BurningCheese content. I'd be happy to whip up a short for you, wouldn't be the first time I got inspired by that artist ngl lol

"Contagious" - BurningCheese Short #8

Spice gets sick. Golden laughs. Golden pays the price for laughing.

Jumping ahead into the far future where Burning Spice is Fixed™️ and he and Golden are happy together haha

The last thing Burning Spice ever wanted to be reminded of when he looked at Golden Cheese was Shadow Milk. He cared for that man, he was happy to call him friend, their bond may have grown strained in those years they spent as villains, both imprisoned and not, but it never broke - but good Witches, could he be damn near impossible to tolerate at times. The teasing grin always bubbling at his mouth's surface; the smirk always tugging at the corners of his lips. The witty remarks at EVERY situation, regardless of severity. And most of all - worst of all - his love of saying "I told you so". Shadow Milk never allowed himself to miss an opportunity to have that sort of laugh at another's expense, be they friend or foe. Burning Spice found it funny when it was "foe", not so much when it was "friend". Least of all when it was him.

He had hoped that he would never have to endure Shadow Milk's derision, or anything like it, from anyone else besides him again; one clown's jokes were more than enough. But it would seem as though the clown's laughter had become contagious.

...Sure, he and Golden Cheese always bickered and bantered, as they were wont to do since the beginning. It was normal. He quite enjoyed it. But not now. Not when the trembling of her shoulders, and that hysterical smile on her face, and that slender finger pointed at him reminded him too much of that ridiculous blue clown friend of his, and made him wonder if a puppet show mocking his hubris would be held in his honor soon.

...Maybe he deserved it.

"I-I'm sorry," Golden Cheese laughed. "But I simply have to laugh, my darling! The Beast of Destruction, catching a common cold! The sight of it! Hahaha!"

Burning Spice crossed his arms and sniffled huffed. "Yeah, I get it. The first round of your high-pitched giggling told me as much."

"And all the other ones will keep reminding you, I'm sure," she said, shaking her head in amusement. "Honestly, you begged for this. What were you thinking, skulking around the Dark Cacao Kingdom without a coat? I told you it would be freezing!"

"And I told you that only weaklings need protection from the elements," he snapped. "I've traveled to every corner of this earth and never been worse for wear. You think a little bit of snow would do anything to me?"

"I do and I did, and I was right," she said. "It's why I kept telling you to bundle up before we went to visit my old friend. Cacao even offered you one of his robes when we first arrived there, as he's not so far from you in size and no one knows that place's bitter cold better than he does. But you chose to be proud and look where that got you."

"Hmph!" He scowled at her. "I know my own limits. I was fine the entire time we were there. Only now did this... this stupid cold catch up to me."

She started to laugh again. "Perhaps it's better this way," she told him, her eyes twinkling with mirth. "Better here at home than back there, where more people besides myself can witness how stupid you are."

He harrumphed again and stood there, pouting at her and stifling a cough as she laughed at him some more - until his expression suddenly changed from irritated to... mischievous.

"Tell me, then, little bird," he said, "Haven't you ever gotten sick before? Or is Her Radiance too good for a cough and a fever?"

"Me? Once or twice in my youth," she said nonchalantly. "Why do you ask? Are you expecting me to tell you my own tale of pride and woe so you can feel less alone in your foolishness?"

No answer. Just a conniving smile slowly stretching across Burning Spice's face.

"What?" For just a moment, her confidence faltered, and was replaced by confusion. "What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Still nothing. Just a low chuckle.

"Alright, fine." She buckled under the weight of his gaze and that smile a bit further. "Perhaps I, too, was foolish like you were. Perhaps I thought myself invincible, only to have to lay by a fireplace for days while my friends nursed me back to health. Perhaps I even had someone wagging their finger at me, too. There, is that better? Does that bandage the gaping hole in your ego somewhat?"

He first answered her by taking a menacing step towards her, then he chuckled again and said:

"You thought yourself invincible, huh? You're speaking as if you no longer do."

Now it was her turn to huff and puff. "Well... I AM the Golden Sovereign, am I not? After everything I've accomplished and endured, I think I have the right to believe that about myself."

"Do you?" The smile grew bigger. "You just admitted that you were the same sort of fool I was once. Even golden sovereigns can fall sick." Now the smile was a face-splitting grin. "And it shall happen again."

"What-?"

He was upon her in a flash, before she could even fully register he was there (how could someone so big still be so fast?). Into his arms she went, trapped in a feverish embrace - and her eyes widened in shock when he quickly leaned down and pressed a big, wet kiss to her lips.

"What the-" Another kiss to silence her. "Stop-" Another one. "Burning Spice-" Deeper, more dramatic, a playful lick at her lips as a finishing touch. "What are you doing?!"

"Getting my revenge," he said. "This is what happens when you laugh at me."

"It isn't as if you don't deserve-" No, no more of that. Only more warm kisses - warmer than usual, thanks to the sickness - to put an end to her unwanted protests.

"You brute." Mwah. "You savage." Mwah. "You moron." Mwah. "I still told you so."

"I know," he said. He brought his lips down to her neck. "And now you must pay for it."

"It won't work," she grumbled. "I know what you're doing."

"We'll see."

"I take care of myself, unlike you." Even against her better judgment, she bent her head back to allow him further access. "I'll be fine."

"We'll see," he said again, before he started peppering her neck with those kisses she could never bring herself to say no to.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Do you feel better now?"

"Yes, actually," Burning Spice said with a smile. "Better than I've felt in ages, even."

"Wonderful," she muttered. She pulled the blanket around her tighter, desperate to stifle the chills. "Then that means you don't need your medicine anymore. Hand it over to me so it doesn't go to waste."

"No." He turned onto his side to face her, gesturing for her to come closer. "I can give you a bit of warmth, though. It seems like you need it more."

She grumbled, but nevertheless shuffled over to him, snuggling into his chest and sighing softly as he wrapped his arms around her. As if on cue, the chills grew weaker.

"I still maintain that I told you so," she murmured.

"And I maintain the exact same thing," he said. "We're even."

"As long as no one knows of this, it's fine," she sighed. "I can already hear Smoked Cheese's taunts from here..."

"And I could hear Shadow Milk's when you were mocking me before," he said. "Like I said. We are even now."

"...Fair enough."

They lay in silence for a little while, his face nuzzled into her hair and her feeling and listening to the beat of his heart in his chest.

...Until he felt like talking again. "Hey. Little bird."

"Hm?"

"I just remembered something."

"Did you, now."

"I did." She felt his hands start to trail downwards, resting on her hips. "Sex can actually aid in recovery from an illness, did you know?"

"..."

"It boosts the immune system, I think... And the pleasure can act as a natural painkiller, too. But I'm not entirely sure it's true... Why don't we test it to be sure?"

"Take your medicine and go to sleep, Burning Spice."

-------------------------

Every time I came back to this draft to work on it, the "keep reading" divider was in a different place and I had to keep moving it back. It annoyed the shit out of me. There's Merchant's complaint for the day

[pmamtraveller]

THE SHADE OF SAMUEL APPEARS TO SAUL /1668/ by SALVATOR ROSA

In this piece, Rosa depicts a scene from the Bible, specifically from 1 Samuel 28. Where King Saul is desperate for guidance before a battle against the Philistines, seeks out the Witch of Endor to summon the spirit of the deceased prophet Samuel.

The Witch is depicted shirtless and is lighting a branch on fire, in the process summons the spirit of Samuel, who is in a hooded white cloak. In this moment, Saul gets frightened. He is seen in armour crouching on the floor. Two of his men are cowering on the floor behind Samuel, while spectral monsters float in the gloom.

Samuel, the last Judge of the Israelites, anointed Saul as their first king. In a cantankerous mood at being recalled from the Shades, Samuel foretold the worst, that neither Saul nor his sons would survive the morrow. In the ensuing battle, his three sons were slain, and Saul, wounded, threw himself on his own sword, and Samuel’s prophecy came to pass.

At the time of its creation, Rosa was nearing the end of his career, having established himself as a significant artist of his time. His works often combined elements of drama and emotion, and this painting exemplifies his ability to convey psychological depth through visual storytelling.