#wtf Odysseus

[xfilesinamajor]

EURYLOCHUS: “Hey Captain, I’m worried about how since we got that bag you’ve…you know…stopped sleeping? I was thinking maybe I should take a turn so you can…Captain? Hello?”

ODYSSEUS: (turns to him excitedly) “Penelope?”

EURYLOCHUS: (taking a step back) “Um, no, sir, it’s just me.” (looks closer) “By the Gods, man, you look awful!”

ODYSSEUS: (hallucinating like no tomorrow) “I can’t wait to make some new memories!”

EURYLOCHUS: “Yeah, we’re all excited to get home. Listen. Captain. You really need some sleep.”

ODYSSEUS: “Telemachus!” (tries to hug him)

EURYLOCHUS: (dodges) “Captain, can you even hear me right now?”

ODYSSEUS: “Time for me to be the father I never was.”

EURYLOCHUS: “Captain! Snap out of it!”

ODYSSEUS: “Why are my eyes and my heart and my soul so heavy?”

EURYLOCHUS: “Because you haven’t slept in nine days. That’s it, this is ridiculous. I’ll watch the bag, you go rest.”

ODYSSEUS: “I keep on trying to embrace you both, why won’t you let me?”

EURYLOCHUS: (has an idea, in a falsetto) “You need to come to bed, Odysseus, love.” (slips an arm under his shoulder)

ODYSSEUS: (raving) “So much has changed, but I’m the same.” (flinging his arms around EURYLOCHUS)

(A group of MEN sneaks behind them, reaching for the bag while they’re distracted.)

EURYLOCHUS: (trying to lead ODYSSEUS to a cot) “Uh-huh, of course you are you, come on now.”

(MEN grab the bag and huddle excitedly around it)

EURYLOCHUS: “Seriously, Captain, you should have shared watch duties from the start. Nine days without sleep? Are you nuts?”

ODYSSEUS: (muttering incoherently) “I’m the same…”

(The STORM suddenly rages)

[benjaminwolf1234-blog]

Wait I think I realized why Odysseus makes Eurilicus light up 6 torches

WAS HE FUCKING CHOOSING WHO'D DIE

I swear if this was obvious to everyone else I'm gonna feel so stupid

[pupateer]

Hi guys

[wolfythewitch]

hrmmm

[yummymuse]

Hamilton meets Epic 🙌🏿

Uncropped version under the cut ↓

[witless-winion1]

headcanon that Odysseus, Polites, and Eurylochus have matching friendship bracelets: hell yeah

headcanon that Odysseus, Polites, and Eurylochus have matching friendship bracelets braided from the mane hair of Athena’s boar: HELL YEAH

[ice-magician]

Everyone, each Epic fan. All of you. Sit down

Yes, even you, Jerry.

“I see you on the brink of death.”

“I see you draw your final breath.”

“I see a man who gets to make it home alive, but it’s no longer YOU.”

The monster is above human, which makes him now able to summon his own choir, which he does with the chants of “600 MEN!” during the 600 Strike fight scene.

Odysseus is “dead”. The monster lives.

[doctorsiren]

more on Billdysseus, featuring a sick design my buddy @foop204 drew up hehe

He became the monster

[thhouseofblack]

Periboea (Oceanid Naiad - Penelope's mother) showing up as one of the nymphs that accompanied Thetis for Achilles' funeral to Troy would be so funny. She just pulls up there, sees her only daughter's husband and starts yelling at him for wasting his time here while her daughter and grandchild are so sad in his absence.

The rest of the achean army watching their silver tongued, champion of Athena, Commander Odysseus being scolded by his divine mother-in-law

[viaitis]

guys dont pay attention to anything else expect polites on the first one😭😭

[chelathy]

Mini Iliad doodle dump

[the-dragon-hearted]

This would kill the main act of the Odyssey, but can you imagine for a moment that Ody King of Ithica didn't have his whole: "Here's my name, address, social security number, date of birth -" moment with the Cyclops.

Can you imagine how fucking funny those prayers would've been to Poseidon?

"Dear Father I beg of you, exact my revenge on Nobody."

"Father, please hunt Nobody down for the sake of your son."

"Poseidon, Father, please make sure Nobody never makes it home."

"Dad can you go kill Nobody, please."

And Poseidon's checking his unread messages like: Whaaaat is happening???

[restlesskeychains]

Odysseus would like rip a box apart with his bare hands. Penelope would gracefully open it with scissors. Telemachus would try to rip it apart but then he’d give up and ask his mom to open it for him.

[frogliwitch]

Athena: There is a fine line between a a genius and an idiot.

*Odysseus screaming in the background*

Athena: Odysseus uses that line like a FUCKING JUMP ROPE

[psy--conic]

Did not know big Ajax killed himself after losing to Odysseus holy shit😭

[zippyskyfalls]

I need an AU where Calypso just... doesn't exist. Odysseus washes up on Ogygia, all alone, nobody else to talk to. As much as Calypso was an awful person to him, she was the only other person there. Despite not exactly liking her, Calypso was a way for time not to feel so endless. To feel as if he wasn't completely alone in those nights where he couldn't embrace his wife for comfort.

But then, we take Calypso away from Ogygia.

Odysseus is all on his own, forced to figure out if he's safe or still in danger. Forced to stay on his own without the voices of anyone to cleanse that feeling of loneliness from him. No one to take the suffering from him.

He becomes touch starved, it's what truly drives him to the edge of insanity. The only people around are the shattered fragments of memories of the comrads he held so dearly. Maybe if he had died, he would have run into the ones that had died by Poseidon's hands. This "Paradise" was a fate worse than death.

When Athena checks where Odysseus is during the wisdom Saga, she doesn't see a horrid woman who kept him trapped there. He sees a man punished by the gods to stop him from going, forcing him to wait. He carves the weeks he's been there on the cave he resides in, wallowing in self pity.

One day, he's back on the ledge. Finally done with the voices. Finally, building up the courage to end it all now. He was absent of cause or excuse. It was a pointless resistance, after all.

His thoughts come to a pause when he hears something. Not the rustling of trees, not the roaring of winds. But a laugh. A genuine laugh, not just one of Memory.

A tap on the shoulder gets him to look back. It was the messenger God, Hermes. The first real living being he'd seen in the past seven years.

Hermes didn't even get to finish a sentence before being pulled into a hug. Odysseus, touch starved and hopeless, cried into his family's shoulder. He was safe for now. If the god was here, something good must be coming.

It wasn't even just about Penelope anymore, it was about making sure nobody's deaths were in vain.

It was about being in his Love's arms again. About being able to give Diomedes a slap on the back of the head when he did something particularly stupid, it was about being able to cradle his son when nights were especially tough for him.

It was about feeling.

Anyways how are you guys doing?