#wtf is this...u big homo

[sh3sinp4rties]

Hii! My name’s nevaeh:)

ageless

Poc

This is just an online diary 2 me>.<

Might post about shifting, tips, possible smut of me and my teacher (im a fein), ed recovery, just stories, plain thoughts, or anything else i may feel moved to post!:3

Dunno how much ill post !

DNI IF:

Homophobic (as i am a homo)

Transphobic

Genuinely racist wtf

Anti shifter (not the blog for u !)

Gonna hate on me for changing themes💔

a meanie weenie bro let me be cringe in peace

Triggered by talk of EDs (i do not promote them on this page but i may talk about recovery from them)

Gonna hate on me for stuff i say/do, if it bothers you you can block me! you can scroll away! gomd!

Old men!

I can and will block!

Music

- ldr

- mitski

- solya

- laufey

- jhene aiko

- destroy lonely

- rio

- baby smoove

- lamb of god

- 800 cherries

- KEN CARSON KEN CARSON KEN CARSON !

- radiohead

- childish gambino

- gojira

- flyleaf

I love music sm! give me reccs always !

also if anyone has soundmap whos also obsessed with music please add me🙏

Fav Movies/Shows💋

- Bjhm

- black swan

- room

- terrifier

- 13 going on 30

-Euphoria

- room

- inside job

- big mouth

- that 90s show

- hilda

- ohshc

- saiki k

- exploding kittens

- white chicks

- mean girls

- tammy

- princess and the frog

- the house bunny

- kotaro lives alone

-practical magic🙏

Hobbies!

Ceramics/Clay

Cooking/Baking

Music

talkin away

Gaming!

snoozin

Painting (i am not good at it)

Writing

Bye byee! love ya’s!!💋

Divs by:

https://animatedglittergraphics-n-more.tumblr.com/

[tinybitofhope]

"yo boys/masc people when u have sleepovers together do u like.. share beds??? does no homo apply?? my stupid little girl brain doesnt get this"

soooo, i'm not a boy and i'm not a masc person, and i'm not amab either, BUT i love answering questions, so i decided to answer this one

idk about sleepovers, but i remember a moment when a boy in my class was talking about the fact that when we was on a school trip he had to share a bed with another boy, his friend, and that it was terrible. my fav thing about it is that the bed was king size, so they had some space, they didn't have to cuddle or anything, so - as a person who literally slept in one bed with my friend (who isn't a girl, but is afab, idk about his gender identity, he's either trans or demiboy from what i know) and cuddled, it seemed a little bit riddiculous and overdramatic, but i think that boys in general feel less allowed to do stuff like this, because if they do they get called "gay" and i'm not saying that it's an insult, because it isn't, but some of them treat it as such, so they have a big problem with being called gay, so the only kind of physical contact that they accept with other boys is either a quick "manly" hug or patting each other on the back when they win a football game, when girls have a lot more freedom with it, cos they can hug, cuddle, sleep with their head on other girl's lap, kiss each other on cheeks, hold hands and stuff like this, because it's more socially acceptable for girls to be that close without being in a romantic relationship.

all of this is based purely on my own experience and my class and other people that i know but people that i talked about it with always agreed, so idk if it's the right answer or does it apply only to the people that i know

hehe i like this answer and the story :)

also LETS ERASE TOXIC MASCULINITY AND LET BOYS DO WTF THEY WANT W THEIR FRIENDS WITHOUT BEING CALLED GAY (with consent ofc)

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, dark humor

Mikey: homosexuals of Toman

Mikey: what was your gay awakening

Mitsuya: ....

Mitsuya: why did you have to start it like that

Mikey: so that all of you could get online

Baji: so everyone who likes men or??

Smiley: wtf does homosexual mean you dumb bitch🤨

Mikey: yes and straights have to answer with who they'd fuck with if they liked dudes

Smiley: I simply cannot imagine myself being homo

Hakkai: what's the point of this tho?

Mikey: social experiment

Mikey: ok and go!

Baji: ngl mine was Shinichiro

Baji: he was pretty cool, like he was musty but the cool type of musty

Baji: I could imagine our future together😍❤️

Smiley: killed off that imagination real quick huh

Baji: ........

Hakkai: I-

Mitsuya: you did not

Mikey: NO SKBBVGBGGHBBBS OMFG SMILEY STOP

Draken: that's.......

Chifuyu: outta pocket 🤕

Baji: you always running that big mouth of yours

Baji: you got no bitches

Baji: your lil bro can only catch hands when he's crying

Baji: you have ugly ass hair

Baji: you have big teeth

Baji: you straight up ugly honestly

Angry: Smiley apologize now that was too far

Smiley: for what??💀

Smiley: shouldn't have used Shinichiro as my emoji, my bad

Baji: ok that's it, let's go outside

Mikey: can y'all stfu please we were in the middle of something 😭

Chifuyu: mine was Baji-san but that was obvious

Hakkai: Taka-chan😊

Takemichi: Mikey-kun made me realize I was bi haha😅

Mikey: ONG?

Draken: yo chill

Mikey: I knew I was a homo when I saw Takemichi get his ass beat with no shame😍

Mikey: love at first sight

Takemichi: ..uhm😟

Draken: Mikey I know you think you're being romantic but stop 💀

Draken: oh and ig if I were I'd dig Mitsuya since we've know each other for so long and like ig he's attractive

Mitsuya: that's crazy

Mitsuya: unfortunately my awakening was you

Draken: HUH

Mitsuya: shut up I was having issues at the time and for some reason I thought you were hot 😕

Draken: WERE U IN LOVE WITH ME??

Mitsuya: no??? did you not just read what I said🤨

Draken: it's okay to be embarrassed Mitsuya 😁

Mitsuya: before you even try making fun of me go tell Emma how long you spent in the arcade trying to win that prize for her

Draken: why can't you let me live

[likeadevils]

omg girlll pls elaborate on that photo im so confused wtf!!! also thank u for all these answers u give us i dont want to tire u but i cant help myself

no this is very fun for me

you’d just. you’d think that when you wish your best friend a happy birthday, and you’re only going to post one picture, you’d post a picture where they are front and center, but instead calvin is in the foreground? which either means that it’s a very funny joke, taylor was pulling a big ol no homo, or calvin felt threatened by taylor’s friendship with karlie (or some combination of the above). also calvin and karlie have both revealed that they suck so it’s just. Cursed

[stardustedknuckles]

I just might have a crush on you over your enthusiastic love for beau and yasha and beauyasha together and specifically the way ashley plays her characters. Oh and marisha too bc i love her. And p much just the entire cr cast. I love them. And I'm in love (absolutely yes homo) with how u love them too. Anyway beau is my fav character ever and i can't believe i finally got to that point after years of being smitten with keyleth and yet here i am. Btw pretty unrelated but empire siblings own my whole body and soul. They're the best. And brjeaus too. And team cleric. And wtf i think i just really miss the m9

I am nothing if not a big arrow pointing back to m9 nostalgia haha. They really are something so, so special. I love being in love with their love, in whatever combinations, and I'm so lucky that Beau and yasha specifically speak to the two dominant halves of myself so that analyzing them just becomes an exercise of having those two parts of myself interact and resolve each other with total good faith and care. I've written 600k of fic about them and I don't think I'm done yet. Just resting, figuring out what in my body is taking my mind away so much.

Enjoy your stay. A part of me will always love them, and that's the part of me this blog was created for. 💙

[teacup-baphomet]

G/t Drabble (Crash landed on a hostile planet trope but NOT via the a tiny vulnerable human in a planet of mean powerful alien bigs route)

tw: a bit of censored cursing. Uh. I’m not sure what else. Maybe broaching of sensitive tops such as sexuality and religion. But not really. Mostly it’s just rlly dumb word play/lame humor and a confused alien being confused (and kinda freaked/troubled due to the confusion? you’ll see if you read it i guess). there is some sad lorg boi times. idk. no romantic relationships. just a shaky friendship is forming between a crash-landed big-arse alien (a human! *gasp*  i woulda never guessed something as vile as that o: ) and one of the much smaller, very much not human locals. most want to kill the poor dude who got stuck on this planet of hostile lil guys who think he’s a monster and immediately decide they much off him asap. so like having this one ally is kinda important to him. But it’s hard. because. lots reasons rlly. culture differences. the language tech can only do so much. the size diff creates definite issues because trust is hard in general. and trusting a big being that could easily cause havoc on your planet mostly just cuz he /seems/ nice is not a very good foundation... there is much to learn between the two before they can be truly good frens. so uh good luck to them lol *raises glass* I mean. I don’t think I’ll ever write these two again. but I’m sure they’ll end up good friends. probably.

Anyway without further adieu, here have a disappointment (read: attempt to be creative but i’m kinda lazy tbh and still kinda bitter I can’t draw for more than like 10 minutes before I start spacing out :/ )

"We are called humans or the scientific name is homo sapiens" spoke the large alien, Lyle.

"Homo sapiens? That is rather long, is it not? Why is a "scientific name" even a thing? Why would that be necessary? Scientific name versus what kinda name? Emotional name? Why are these science names two words? Seems annoying. What is wrong with just calling yourselves simply homos? Or something else just as nice and concise. Straight to the point if you will. Probably. I... Uh.. I obviously don't know what exactly is the purpose of a scientific name as i already implied... Sooo..." The much shorter – and much scalier- native being (called Torrynts) awkwardly looked off the side to stare at the plain, blank, siding of their dilapidated, isolated house as if it were the most interesting thing in the entire vicinity. Which it wasn’t of course. There was a f***ing alien 15 times their size only a few them-sized lengths way…

 Lyle gave his new comrade – and only friend on this gawdforsaken planet that mostly wants him dead- th pondering, and possibly ironically, rather colourfully scaled Torrynt by the name of Kyvlar a bemused look, bordering on coy.

"Huh. 'Straight' to the point you say?" He paused with a small snort. "Well, my not-so-statuesque friend, do I got news for you~"

Kyvlar suddenly blanched, giving a Lyle a look that was like a knife to the heart while blurting out. "Wait, wait, wait! Hold up! We? There are more than one of you? Here? On this planet? Were you just a distraction the whole time. Oh... Oh no.... Have we really been victim a secret homo invasion this whole time! I-"

 Their panicked monologue was interrupted by a most horrendous noise. Like a slowly dying tornado with the hiccups or something.

"STOP. Stop I-I can't. I can't. This is too much much!" Spoke Lyle with his hand covering the bottom half of his  and his eyes scrunched shut.

 'Welp,' thought the Torrynt, 'This is the end. This is when I die. I should have known better than to immediately put my trust in such an enormous obviously dangerous specimen. Ho-'

 Kyvlar’s dramatic internal speech was interrupted when the alien surprised them by uncovering the his face, revealing a huge grin. ‘They weren't upset? Huh?’ The Torrynt blinked owlishly at the human in confusion.

 "Sh*t, bite-size (Kyvlar noticeably paled at the impromptu nickname not 100% the foreign joking tone, well it would have been noticeable to someone their size at least), I know you don't mean to, context-wise, but you reminded me of my great aunt Karen when my Uncle Todd and Uncle Copper decide to have their friends over along with relatives for a gatherin'."

Plastering on a faux distraught look and blatantly mocking tone, he  continue with exaggerated hand gestures. "Oh no, it's the...the...," he paused with snort, "... the homo invasion... No, no, no... Not here... not in this... this good, Christian neighborhood. Aren't just two of them enough? Oh woe is me!" The alien dropped the mocking tone and smirked towards the smaller being. "Heh. Good ol' great aunt Karen could never remember Uncle Todd was Jewish and so was the majority of that neighborhood.... It’s where my Uncle Todd was raised actually…"

 The said smaller being just stared blankly at the homo-no-human they supposed as just “homo” meant something else, they weren’t sure what else, beyond just something else.

 "Uhhm. Wh-what? U-Uhm, so what exactly is “homo” then? And what’s Christian? And Jewish too. What’s that? Are... Are those other types of -uh- intelligent, sentient creatures on your planet? Y-you know, b-beside hom-er-h-humans? Or are these subtypes of humans? What kinda are you? What is a great aunt? or Uncle? Does the great indicate a larger size? Oh gawd, a-aren't you humans b-big enough regularly? Oh... W-wait. O-or are you a great- uhm- great aunt, was it? E-er, g-great something? Ohhh. Zyntall (Torrynt swear). I'm sooo confused r-right now... " The timid tiny being, sighed in frustration before their eyes snapped open wide in a panic, and they did an immediate one-eighty with their behavior, and it was off all their previously trust, as wavering as it was, vanished in an instant, squeaking out a quick "sorry. oh, Z-zyntall... I'm so-so-sooo sorry. I-I hope I d-didn't offend y-you or anyth-thing... p-please, oh please, don't hurt me" while gazing everywhere except towards the much larger alien, hoping desperately the 'bite-size' nickname was just a bad joke...

 Clearly they not only didn't get what so hilarious about the whole thing but also thought he was a monster prone to violence – still. Lyle sighed, all the mirth that was previously in his expression draining out of him leaving him with an uncomfortable grimace on their face. How disappointing... They really wish there was another human here to share in the jesting. But alas, that was not meant to be. At least as far as they knew there was no "homo invasion" in the making. Lyle wasn’t naïve. He knew humans were easy to slip into a gray moral state, at best. The role of villains at worst. And many of his kind would likely take advantage of a planet full of tiny, vulnerable people. Lyle couldn’t help but inwardly cringe at the thought, getting nervous about something that wasn’t an issue. At least now. Currently, human-wise, it was just him on this distant planet. And as far as he knew, no one - well, no other human at least- had any clue where they were. It probably just seemed he simply disappeared. Never to be seen again most likely. Trapped on this random alien planet in scenario that is akin to some sort of a personal hell of sorts.

'Wow. Hello, major depressive episode that’s making me overly dramatic. I haven't seen you since I was - what - eighteen?' thought Lyle regretfully. Calling this planet a personal hell was probably a bit over the top. But still, he couldn’t even seem to keep the trust of his single native ally. It only adds to his feelings of lonely isolation. And he feared his lonely angst will only get worse and worse. But only time will tell.

Giving a small sigh, he mentally prepped himself to try and get back his small friend’s trust. At least he was able to laugh for a wee bit earlier. It had been so long since he had done such. It was nice. Hopefully next time it will not lead to a backtracking in his attempted friendly ships with an open local, or even worse, a hostile local. The little laser guns that native being had stung like a b*tch. It reminded him when he got bit a couple times by some fire ants during a vacation as a child.

-----------

So yeah these were rando improvised characters made on the spot.

But Lyle is a guy (he/him. He’d be chill with they/them too)

And Kyvlar is… a Torrynt. So like they/them I guess. Torrynts don’t have genders. Like at all. I guess they hermaphroditic (intersex if talking by human terms but not really as they are capable of reproduction and they aren’t human so… I dunno… Not even sure if hermaphrodite is a useful term. As idk if hermaphroditic animals, in nature, are capable of reproduction… I don’t think so? But I’m not sure tbh…). There is no variants like there are with human “sex”. And male/female concepts are 200+% foreign to these wee reptile-like aliens (albeit warm-blooded minded, so perhaps more draconian than reptilian idk. Also aliens being described as reptilian gives me hives due to a conspiracy theory that is like super bigoted actually n’ stuff. Very yikes. Don’t want to talk it about it rlly…). Their reaction would def be “wtf. That’s the weirdest sh*t ever” to such a thought as male n female binary dynamics & whatnot. No exceptions. They’d be like why a lot of you guys limiting yourself because of whether or not you are a potential offspring vessel or not. I don’t understand.

So Yeah. Uh. Anyways.

Their conversation about this prolly (or close to this):

Lyle: Hi. I’m Lyle. Just some random dude form Earth I guess.

Kyvlar: a random dude what?

Lyle: uh. I’m a dude. I guess I meant that I’m a boy though dudes don’t really have to be boys I think. But not to derail too much… Yeah. I’m a man/guy/boy/brosef, whatever you wanna call the male gender. Please not by brosef actually, heh. Anyway. Yep. A boy. That is what I am. Uh. How about you. I can just tell… you ….you have uhm two legs. Oh damn. Wait. That sounded so stupid. I wouldn’t assume your gender or anything. I just… You don’t look exactly human so..uh. UGH. Nevermind. I don’t even know where I was going with that... Heh. ANYWAY, so yeah what’s your gender is what I’m trying to say. Sorry I’m awkward as f***. I’m not used to socializing much. Been doing deep space sh** on my own for a few years now and.. uh.. yeahhhh….

Kyvlar: *stares blankly*

Lyle: Uh. Yeah. So. A Gender? Do you, uhm, have one? Or…????

Kyvlar: Uh. I think so? I mean I’m mostly a day-by-day I’ll figure it out then type but I, I really want be able to fix my home up. I want to learn to cook. Kinda suck at it now. Uhm. I guess… Uh. I should probably help you get on good terms with my people so they stop trying to kill you. You seem nice n’ stuff… so yeah. There’s that. I could use a little more purpose in my life. Not to-

Lyle: wait. Huh? What are you talking about? Are you talking about an agenda?

Kyvlar: Yes????

Lyle: *snorts* I didn’t say an agenda. I said a gender. As in A. Gen. Durr. Like are male or female or maybe something off the typical binary track??

Kyvlar: Uh. Er. Huh??? I, I’m so confused right now…

Lyle: Hooo boy. I’m so not prepared for this discussion at all.

-----------

One of these days I’m gonna have a character that’s silver-tongue and smooth af and not some bumbling awkward doofus (*cough* like I am *cough*).

[lysiso]

hi how are u :D any thoughts to share

im doing pretty okay :) and yes a few my brain is always full with stuff OR nothing at all theres no in between so get reaaaaaaddyy :D

I bought moldavite and i have it for two days now ik thats like nothing its only two days right but tbh i dont feel that much and was disappointed but its only two daaays also i really do think my life's on its way to be turnt upside down like i cant explain how i know but i mean it in a good way i feel like the coming few years are going go be so transformational. Why am i (are we) not able to see or meet aliens? i would LOVE to meet a kind nice friendly benevolent alien!!! How did humanity's "intelligence" get so far to the point of it being self destructive? isn't it weird like we came from lil fish in the sea.. to blabla... to blabla.. to homo sapiens... we became so intelligent that we invented all this stuff like technology and all that and yet we NEVER learn from history, ALWAYS repeat the same mistakes and are literally KILLING the earth and other people like isn't that crazy we've become so far... just to be our own destruction thats absolutely bonkers... Why am i so awkward around thid guy from work sure i may have a teeny tiny crush on him but damn get ur shit together right lmao.. WHY is it that when i mention it's been a while since i've smoked weed people offer to go to their place and i can have some but like.. no i want weed either for myself or for me and my friends like why do people suggest that i can come over if i want i barely know u, we are just colleagues why would i wanna get high w u idk u like that... also ur double my age you weird ass man why are u even offering. More importantly why isnt my CRUSH offering... sad... i miss weed, i miss hanging out w friends, i miss being extra w makeup and outfits, i truly hope corona wont be too bad next fall bc i got big ass travel plans (im so excited abt this wtf!!!!) and i really hope i can actually go to the countries i want.... it's literally my dream. Why is banana and chocolate such a good combo? Cote d'or is the BEST chocolate ever oh my GOD it's superior. Brooklyn 99 is so funny and so good. I say i dont have a phone/social media addiction but im literally on it the entire ffin day and it's keeping me from being productive. I hate when people talk abt body positivity but then make fat people feel guilty abt wanting to lose weight or actually losing weight. I want someone to *** ** *** so bad i've been so ***** ******. I should rly start attack on titan it looks really cool, i should finish kakegurui first tho. I really wonder if someone, anyone ever had a crush on me like literally aaaaanyone?? I cant wait to go TRAVEL NEXT YEAAAAAR. Why is my best friend so fucking bad at texting... like tbh some ppl are so ffin dry over text and they always always say "yeah lmao im rly bad at texting" like bitch wym how?????? u got all the emojis and u know popular vine/tiktok memes so???????? use them????? I would love some red wine rn. I love music, but i rly don't get how like.. earbuds work i truly dont like wym the music is transfered through little wires like how like what even is music? is it also made out of 0s and 1s i truly dont get it ALSO what the FUCK is wifi and other wireless tech? like how does that WORK??? i'm like starting to think we got the whole technology thing from aliens. People who don't believe that there's other life out there are so weird.. u cant possibly start to imagine how big this galaxy is let alone th universe and u dont think there's any other life out there?? dumb. omggg i. love. any. potato. dish. yuuuuuum!! I miss Gina in b99. I have quite a few mutuals on here that i've been following for YEARS i wish i could send them all a hug. I simply don't get how you could be okay with being such a shitty person that ur a BILLIONAIRE but u dont give to others.... i wonder why people even WANT to have so much money like... up to a certain extent sure like i do believe money Can make up happy but at a certain point u already have everything u want so literally why not.. save people from dying on the streets like this is so weird. I loveeeeee this tomato-basil bread i once made i cant forget it it tasted like... pizza bread omg yum

[theyre-in-love]

GAMF: Phil Ur Gay?

Fandom: Def Leppard

Pairing: Steve/ Phil

Warning(s): slash, smut, emojis (skskssksk)

A/N: written by my dear friend @somebodytoloveee​, ily GAMF

steve stared at phil. "bitch u gay" he asked.

"wtf no steve why" phil replied

"bro i think ur gay" steve stared.

"...maybe 🏳️‍🌈 😳" phil blushed. *cOugh* his boner was v visible.

steve looked at phil's pants. he laughed, "you gay ass motherfucker 😎"

phil got angry that steve didn't get to sucking his dick already so he decided to fuck the life out of steve's skinny ass body :DD

he entered steve's tiny little asshole without warning, being the top he is 😎😎

"oMg phil ur so b-biG 😳💖" steve choked as phil thrusted rAbidly into him.

"mMmmM nice ass bro" phil moaned.

steve let out a muffled groan into the pillow 👉👌

phil sped up his pace. "yeahh stevee, ur my gay ass motherfuckin bitch now 🏳️‍🌈 😎"

steve scrEEched when phil hit his ultra super duper special spot 😳😳😳

"mmmmmM tight aSs steve" phil moaned

"go fAster mate plsplspls 🏳️‍🌈" steve whined, bucking his hips.

phil slapped him. "needy bitch" he scoffed.

"mm do that again phil" steve moaned loudly. 😔

phil grinned and slapped steve's ass v hard again. "kinky ass biTch" he continued to thrust in and out of steve's bony ass.

steve's dick was beyond hArd at this point. he touched himself and shuddered, but phil noticed 👀👀👀

"HOMO BITCH DID I SAY YOU COULD TOUCH YOURSELF >:(" phil yelled and smacked steve's hand away 😳

he continued to brutally smack his hips against steve :D there was def gonna be bruises 😏😏😏

steve squealed, "phil bby i'm gonna cUm like the big whore i aMmm"

phil moaned after hearing those fucking f i l t h y words come out of his bandmate's mouth. steve's asshole was now full of phil's seed, whoopsies 😊🏳️‍🌈

steve came all over the bedsheets. ew they were sticky. 

phil pulled out of steve and cuddled with him and he was big haphee.

[arecipeforfeels]

fic that I would like to write at some point but knowing me who the fuck knows if that will ever happen:

wangxian bc im me but!!! fic where wwx and nhs are Themselves aka chaotic queer best friends and so thus have very loose conceptualization of personal physical boundaries. they definitely like…kiss each other on the cheek so much and are overall just like gross but they still call each other bro bc like Thats How They Are 

ANYWAY

everyone is gay and stupid in this fic bc im gay and stupid and we all deserve the rep!!

poor sweet dumb lwj is like “oh they must b dating” bc like idk he hasn’t known them v long and like everyone (read jc, nmj, jyl, anyone who has known them for an extended period of time) knows they’re Just Like That bc they’ve been best friends for eons.

anyway poor gay disaster (he’s functional passing but its a LIE i will DIE on this Hill) lwj is like “welp guess they are in gross sappy love how BORING it doesn’t make me incredibly sad or anything like that I won’t burn holes in nhs’s head every time i see them together being Gross and I DEFINITELY don’t dream of kissing wei wuxian under the moonlight”

flkjdflkdsfj they think he’s like homophobic when rly they’re all dipshits and he’s emotionally constipated. 

(to jc) “like we aren’t dating of course bc like, no homo, but like that dude seems rly angry whenever he sees us, like…gay ppl exist dude” meanwhile jc is friends w lxc bc he started dating nmj (bc neilan has also taken over my life and they deserve good and happy things) and they’re kinda just watching all of this go down. 

lxc is like “i’m right here and he’s always so nice to mingjue i really don't understand it i dont think he’s homophobic….wait ur brother is wwx? hmmmmm *eyes emoji*

idk how this situation resolves itself other than like

some variation on the flirting dialogue from the cave. but its like wangji see’s wwx flirt w mianmian the queen of my heart and is like ‘dude wtf why would u do that u already have a bf that ur disgustingly in love with literally everywhere, why would u flirt w her does she know u have a bf??? does ur bf know ur flirting w her???” and its like a big moment bc lwj never fucking speaks he just sits there and emotes.

and of course wwx is like “………wtf? am i dating someone??? did no one tell me????” and lwj is about to like burst a blood vessel at this point and he’s like um ExCuSe Me he’s right there!!” and points at nhs and nhs is like “……me???” 

and chaos ensues

[mcnuggyy]

Wtf do u mean your art is gorgeous just like you no homo

FJFJJFD THANKS, just feeling big artists doubt lately cause I have a big portfolio thing I’m doing soon so I’m very nervous and feel very shitty in my work and progress but Yah know! Classic doubt and anxiety! Should feel better tomorrow ;;;w;;;;

[hadeestown]

i watched the heathers on riverdale episode and listened to the soundtrack on spotify and i have a lot of things to say

FIRST OF ALL @ riverdale fandom dont freaking attack me for saying these. just being frank with yall

also the only actors whose names i know of are kj apa, cole sprouse, lili reinhart, camila mendes, and casey cott

BEAUTIFUL

- CASEY COTT,,,,he saved this song he should’ve just sang it alone - they made it so PG they didnt even include the fREAK SLUT CRIPPLE HOMO HOMO HOMO - okay camila sounded okay - kj apa,,,honey youre cute but pls stop singing - josie can sing but like,,,not for musicals - can everyone pls get the emotions right in this song thEYRE LITERALLY SINGING ABOUT HOW HIGH SCHOOL FREAKING SUCKS AND THEYRE ALL "just not today! :D" or "just not today *seductive wink*" - the autotune in lili's verse knjkACN - cole's voice is so deep he sounds like he wants to die - "why do i act like such a creep" whoever sang that im sorry but youre terribly fla t - so many wasted harmonies - "aHhh HEAther hEAther aNd hEATher" why falsetto - "lets make her beautiful" rip harmonies "okAY? okay?" rip falsetto uGh - cheryl can sing but i dont know something's wrong,,, probably autotune - "you hope you dream you pray ANd you GEt yoUR wAY" autotune count: ive lost count - The riverdale producers giving casey cott the high veronica notes is one of the few things they got right in this episode

CANDY STORE - heathers 101 lyrics knAKJCNJA i want to die - they can say biotch but not dick huh - the orchestration's weird,,,but okay - GO PLAY DUCK DUCK GOOSE - ICE CREAM - the first verse was okay then autotuned kicked in - the verses are pretty okay - i want more emotion pls just,,, sound bitchier - "SEE YOU DONT HAVE IT WATCH THIS" HACKNASCKJA IM CACKLING - rip harmonies in 2nd chorus,,,,those were great but they probably didnt find a person who can do the crazy mcnamara notes huh - DOORKNOB - cheryl youre struggling with the bridge - "kEEP ON TESTING ME *lower octave* and end up like her" oof whERE ARE THE HIGH MCNAMARA NOTES - i didnt understand the chandler riff what was that about - rip harmonies aGAIN this song had a lOT of amazing harmonies and they,,,threw it away

FIGHT FOR ME - josie honey youre terribly autotuned - kj apa kjnSCJNKANCKJA why - everything's so autotuned i dont even know what's real and what's not - i kinda like the end harmonies,,that's it tho

BIG FUN - okay orchestration's great - again with the heathers 101 lyrics jNCKSNAJC dont do heathers if you arent bold enough to curse on tv - rip harmonies,,,,,,,,,nobody did like the high notes jesus christ - convenient that they have a character named "Veronica" in the show - i dont know if thats camila's real voice but it did sound nice,,,however, i still believe it's autotUNED - once again, they gave casey cott the high veronica notes "i FEEL LIKE BONO AT LIVE AID" - "take a picTURE I'LL NEED PROOF" who the hell said that he sounded so monotone and emotionless like he forgot at the last minute he had to say a line - awkward silence for the part "i broUGHT SPARKLING CIDER :D" - no context "danG DANG DIGGITY DANG DANG" hAJKCSJNAC me initimidating my enemies - once again, akward silence for the dialogues - dang dang diggity dang dang everything's so autotuned - thE INSTRUMENTAL'S SO LOUD probably to mask the fact that most of the cast werent *cough* vocally trained

DEAD GIRL WALKING - what THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT TINY HARP SOUND AT THE INTRO OF DGW ANKCSJACI CHOKED - a u t o t u n e d  girl walking - the instrumental got better - i see they went with like pianos and shit and not mostly electric guitar for the guitar solo riffs - "ALL HOPE IS GONE IM A DEAD GIRL WALKING IM ON YOUR LAWN" gurl,,,youre in school,,,and there is no window lock,,,,,,, - heATHERS 101 lYRICS KASNKCJANSCKA - "had to see yOU HOPE I DIDNT WAKE YOU" bitch youre all awake in school - i cant listen to this song anymore without hearing the weird hair swishes and sound effects - "that works for me" yall monotone as hELL like yall dont wanna have intense sex just,,,okay sex - "hoWD YOU FIND MY ADDRESS" none of the lyrics make sense bc uhm,,,,theyRE IN SCHOOL - "i think you tore my mattress" gurl is chill as hell where is the concern over the mattress AHAHFANKCC - at least the guy sounded a bit hornier than the other girl - goodbye intense barrett notes - AHAHAHHAA they yeeted away from the G#5 - it's just like G#4??? - the other girl doesnt sound shes enjoying the sex huh - the guy who did the jd riff at the end,,,,hMMM pretty good but is it auTOTUNED??? the question remains - i can tell the whole song's like,,,autotuned but if just a little bit, toni sounded actually great

OUR LOVE IS GOD - the cult girl is not showing any emotion,,,,she's like reciting the lyrics hDJCKAJ - casey cott sounds great but autotuned ruined his voice - harmonies sound great actually - the instrumental is inTENSELY loud as HELL again - "they die becauSE THEY SAY THEY MUST" no context bc jD did not kill anyone in this scene - the ending harmonies were great

SEVENTEEN - fuck me i liked this the first time i heard it - im biased probably bc i love seventeen knKSCAJ - intro instrumental sounded a bit off key - cole pls dont sound dead - lili sounds great - SEVANTEEN - cole redeemed himself in the harmony chorus - is this shit autotuned???? bitch - SEvANTEEN (Cole Sprouse, 2019) - okay one thing's for sure, the tonight part is dEFINITELY AuTOTUnED - the toni girl is intensely autotuned wtf

LIFEBOAT - WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS INSTRUMENTAL - IT SOUNDS LIKE A NEW SONG LIKE LIFEBOAT WHO?? - I HATE IT - camila you dont sound oppressed - where's the emotion,,,,,elle mclemore who???? - i think the high notes are autotuned???????????????? whats new - I THOUGHT I WAS CAPTAIN - okay lyric change to fit the plot but,,,weird nonetheless - again,,,fuck this instrumental

SEVENTEEN REPRISE - in the episode, it looks weird as hell bc like random cast members are singing it when VERONICA and MARTHA should be singing it - hello??? chandler kurt and ram should be dead yet theyre still on stage???? fully clothed??? singing with everyone else????? - the producers DID NOT watch the musical - "martha are you free tonight?" - the girl playing veronica sawyer sings as she stares out into the audience and not at martha bc riverdale isnt about to cast a fat girl and give a fat girl some screentime on their show - KJ APA PLS - also cheryl,,,pls - a u t o tu n e - the song doesnt make any sense anymore bc it's taken out of context to fit the plot,,, - theyre all singing to an invisible martha - at least the harmonies sound decent fiNALLY - hello head voice - "TAKE oFF OUR SHOES AND DANCe" - the ending "BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL" i could not hear the girls bc they were all. singing. in. head. voice. or was it falsetto??? - im so done with this

OVERALL - what's the point of doing a heathers episode if yall aint gonna stick to the musical - i get that it has to be aligned with the show's plot but,,,,okay you do you - the people playing JD and Veronica were totally ignored bc like some songs meant for them werent even sung by them lmaooOOOO what is this - to summarize: AUTOTUNE - heathers kidz bop version by riverdale (2019) - im honestly just thirsty for new heathers content so i forced myself to live through this - costumes look cute tho - ALSO in their heathers promo poster, josie is wearing her veronica sawyer costume,,,,i dont recall seeing her wear that except for the last scene in seventeen (reprise) - basically seventeen (reprise) was a mess,,, - im judging them so much as if i can do better,,,,,,,,but whatever

IN CONCLUSION - they shouldve learned from their carie episode that musical episodes arent meant for riverdale - at this point, i dont even know what's autotuned and what's real

[svlhouette]

✆ ø @ & ツ

Send “✆” for a MORNING text.

[ outgoing → eden ] good fuckin morning can u pmu[ outgoing → eden ] im at the hospital lolol

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

[ outgoing → eden ] yo did yk that orcas can eat moose[ outgoing → eden ] thats fuckin insane yk how big moose are wtf

Send “@” for a SCARED text.

[ outgoing → eden ] hes real mad lol[ outgoing → eden ] fuck ig i really fucked up this time

Send “&” for a LOVING text.

[ outgoing → eden ] lmaoo no way [ outgoing → eden ] i fuckin love u dude[ outgoing → eden ] none of that no homo shit we gay af out here

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[ outgoing → eden ] fuck i cant believe youre really coming[ outgoing → eden ] are u fucking w me[ outgoing → eden ] lovegrove istfg u better be serious

[alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer]

Ghosts of the Shadow Market Review!

My first book of the Read to Roll challenge is Ghosts of the Shadow Market by Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan, Maureen Johnson, Kelly Link, and Robin Wasserman. 

Look at Jem! I love my son!

Here we are at the pond! Fun fact: Cassandra Clare allegedly lives in the town next to mine. I kinda really hate it. 

I actually finished reading this a while ago, but I got caught up with school and the library book is due tomorrow, so I guess we’re doing this review tonight, bitches! 

First: I LOVED this book!! I have my issues with CC and it took me literally took me like 9 months to finish reading QOAAD (which I also enjoyed, I just couldn’t get through) but I FLEW through this book! I think maybe the short story format just fits my brain a bit better. I’m gonna break this down by story:

Cast Long Shadows

Matthew!! My child!! I want to hug you so much!! 

This story stood out to me as particularly hopeless, especially compared to the rest of the stories. It ended in total despair, and I understand Matthew did something VERY VERY BAD but he is a dumb child and dumb 15 year olds do a lot of dumb things so 

I really hope he gets some sort of resolution in TLH

This bitch deserves happiness 

Also he’s defo not straight?? like no straight boi is THAT into oscar wilde

i kinda ship him with thomas

Every Exquisite Thing

SOOO PURE!!!!!

WE STAN SUPPORTIVE PARENTS!!!!!!!!!

This story was like a breath of fresh air compared to the last

It doesn’t really connect to the overarching plot at ALL (every other story does, correct me if I’m wrong) but i’m okay with it because anna lightwood is incredible and deserves all of the respect 

the only bit that kinda not really relates is the talk about tessa’s demon parent? which is lowkey implied to be like... actually satan?? ahhhh????

That last bit with Cecily was just so beautiful. again. 

I TOLD YOU THE BLUE WAISTCOAT WAS THE ONE

I’m just imagining them just in bed one night and one of them was like ‘our daughter hecka gay’ ‘what should we do’ ‘well we gotta buy her a suit that actually fits her obv. she can’t keep walking around in clothes that don’t fit, also they’re gross’ ‘i actually already went to the tailor down the block and made a list of the ones i think she would look best in’ 

I know ariadne broke annas heart but also i feel really bad for her. being a brown lesbian in 2019 is hard enough. she lost her parents and she doesn’t want to lose what she has left. i hope she also gets some sort of closure in TLH. i would be content with her and charlie having a charlotte and henry thing going minus the pining and falling in love. they’re married but it’s just business and they can pursue whomever on the side

also isabelle do you realize that necklace you’re wearing was once owned by queer QUEEN anna lightwood?????

Learn About Loss

this story was a little slow, but very necessary for introducing the lost herondale plot

emilia is so fucking badass 

the last scene with will and jem was so pure and wholesome. i’m so mad that they were robbed of so much time together. 

A Deeper Love

this story was just anxiety

like obv i knew jem wasn’t going to die but the CLIMAX 

can kit pls have some heart to heart with catarina in twp! like she deserves some closure! like she can just tell him some stories and he can understand a bit more of where he comes from

jem deserves all of the hugs 

i just want to scream YOU GET MARRIED! YOU HAVE A CHILD! IT WILL HAPPEN! 

The Wicked Ones

this story was,, uh,, something

i’d say it ties with cast long shadows as the most depressing 

so basically, celine was horribly abused her entire life by the people who should have taken care of her, her trauma was exploited by another abuser so that she too became incredibly manipulative and potentially abusive, and then she killed herself (was murdered?) and her child was ripped from her corpse to be abused throughout his entire childhood as well

it was cute seeing kit’s parents! they were so cute! what happened. 

Son of the Dawn

baby alec! baby izzy! baby jace! baby baby max! 

i’m not a big jace fan, but ugh i just wanted him to get the love that every child deserves! 

i can’t believe raphael santiago was alec lightwood’s sexual awakening

“brother let him see my rack-ariah” 

lily chen deserves the whole goddamn world

jem CARVED WILL’S INITIALS INTO HIS STAFF

FULL HOMO

The Land I Lost

gotta admit that i wasn’t too hype about this one bc i’m kinda tired of all of the malec narratives, but it was cute

“JEM I’D-LOVE-TO-CLIMB-’EM-CARSTAIRS” (this has to be my favorite) 

once again i love lily chen with all my heart and she deserves all of the happiness and none of the shit that the world has given her 

also??? lily breathed, “cortana.” this girl was GAY for CORDELIA CARSTAIRS

BLESS THE COME AND STARE FAMILY

i love how this small child who hates everyone just physically attached himself to alec and would not let go 

cordelia carstairs was lily’s sexual awakening and you can’t change my mind

SLEEP LILY I’LL WATCH THE DOORS alec lightwood being the PAL lily deserves

THAT BITCH! poor matthew. he was still dumb but he was played by some bitch who couldn’t separate her person grudges and an entire race of people

i love how magnus saw this child run into his home with alec nowhere in sight and was like “guess he’s my son now” 

Through Blood, Through Fire

rosemary ;_;

that’s so fucking depressing like you abandoned your family and it bought them like 3 days max 

i think it’s a little weird that tessa now has some of kit’s mother’s memories and is adopting him but also i guess it’s kinda nice? 

both jem and tessa have actually almost died searching for you, kit, and i don’t think either regret a single thing they did to lead themselves to you

jem and tessa are in LOVE and they’re having a BABY

The Lost World

JEM AND TESSA ARE IN LOVE AND THEY’RE HAVING A BABY

ty u really did fuck up didn’t u

but he’s got a pet now so that’s nice

livvy ;_; 

i really hope they find a way to release her in twp 

i don’t think ty wants it, but things will come to a head. she’s not happy as a ghost. 

kit and ty are so fucking dumb just talk to each other!!

it’s so fitting that kit gave them the heron pendant

both in a sense of continuity and in the complexities of his feelings - on one hand it belonged to his mother, someone cared very much about him but on the other, it failed to save her

Forever Fallen

i ship kit with a family that loves him

jem just talks to him and is just internally like ‘wtf has everyone in your life done wrong’ 

jem and tessa: you are WORTHY and DESERVING of LOVE, BITCH! 

i want all of the domestic herondale-carstairs family 

i think i read the scene where jem and tessa put all of their stuff in kit’s room like 10 times it had me so shook 

“WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS HOUSE MORE PRECIOUS TO US THAN YOU” 

WE STAN SUPPORTIVE PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Janus is as annoying as real jace 

lily be safe bby ily this is gonna end baaaaad 

the scene at the end where jem tells kit that where there is love there is no need for gratitude also has me shook bc we’ve been talking about this a lot in my spanish class, about how so many of us are trained to be complacent and to show gratitude for things that should be a given

Overall, I really enjoyed the book even though some parts bored me and I kinda skimmed through. I’m reading Girls of Paper and Fire now, so we’ll see when I finish that! 

[loyalservants]

demonteas

【 POSITIVITY FOR MA HOMOS | Accepting ! 】

wtf u dont know youre lit ??? bitch get outta here, you’re wonderful, i love you. i love talking to you everyday. we got some days where we barely talk but guess what ? i still wuv u you big ol meme you better not be jared & 19 bc u deserve to read this and understand my love for u ok

꧁ @demonteas​ ꧂

[skizmin]

minghao!soulmate au

prompt: if someone touches you, your soulmate feels warm where you’ve been touched and can sense how you feel about the contact (uncomfortable, calm etc;)

genre: fluff soooo much fluff, soulmates!au, very very brief and vague ment of sexual harassment its tiny pls dont be put off, college!au

a/n: hey minghao, i miss you, please rest lots and become healthy for seventeens next comeback!!

okay so

throughout your younger years youve never really paid much attention to your soulmate, ofc your parents told you when you were about four that the weird warm things you were feeling was your “one true love that you’ll meet later” and whatnot

i mean of course youd chuckle sometimes when your cheeks got all warm and an annoyed feeling fleetingly passed through you knowing your soulmate must be being coddled by one of his aunts or smth 

but other than that

you just went on with your life

it wasnt until you were sixteen did you start paying more attention to it

sometimes youd get a bit worried when youd feel a warm spot on your arm and a surge of slight anger in your heart but it was always quickly replaced by happiness

you knew it was his friends hitting him by then so you just chilled tf

even when you felt your ass became VERY warm, you felt the same anger/happiness flow through your body so you just shook the fact that your soulmates ass just got BEAt off and continued what you were doing. 

youll have junhui to thank for that later

so by the time you were going into university you had become very aware of the fact that your soulmate was barely ever getting hugs anymore

and you just :^((( poor bby

and an idea popped into your head like !!!

my soulmate feels warm when i get hugged akdfksjla

instantly you were like IM GONNA HUG EVERYONE!!!!! EVEN IF ITS AWKWARD

so like, first day on campus housing grounds you found your dorm house and with that your RA housemate

she was cool and you where like hhhhhhh

i barely know you but

i have this duty of care for my soulmate so im just gonna

and you hugged her rly big and you felt uncomfortable at first but also so proud of yourself like wow

get you a girl like me ;^))

anyway your housemate is like “oooooookay, this is your room here and its just us and three others who’re already here”

youre awkwardly like cool okay see u later

amd ur blushing rly hard but hey at least you did it

anyway fast forward a couple weeks and youre like hugging all your new friends everytime you see them and theyre like wow shes clingy but they still luv you

and youre!!

so!!

comfortable!!

abt doing it now like “hey hugs????? hugs are my shit.” ya feel?

cut over to minghao whos going to the same university as you with junhui

they both moved from china and minghao misses his fam so much :^(((

particuarly his mums hugs which he got all the time and sometimes he thought it was annoying but now hes like hhhh

MUM BRING ME BACK

minghaos mum was also rly open about haos soulmate and loved hearing about her

like one day hao came home (age 18???) fuming bc he felt his chest get warm in class and then his butt and a really strong feeling of fear and uncomfort and disgust filled him and he immediately knew what happened but he didnt feel anything else after that and he was so glad but still and his mum was like hao that happens to girls :^((( im sorry your soulmate must feel awful rn 

and hao felt sick in his stomach and he was like “im gonna kill anyone that does that to my soulmate again mum !!!!!!!!

and his mum was so proud

anyway hes almost fluent in korean by now and luckily junhui is good at making friends and found some that speak madarin and korean too so!!

their new friend jackson and some others are constantly with hao and hui being like “no that means square, this is how you say suspense” n shit

and hao learnt rly easily!! so did hui!! anyway

lately hao has been feeling his soulmate hug a lot of people lately and hed be rly happy except hes sorta 

“is my soulmate dating someone rn?? :^((” 

and hed remind himself you can date whoever you want before you meet him 

but hed still be all emo bc he wants love too and he misses his family and hes in a foreign country and hes failing one of his subjects bc how is he supposed to know all the non latin korean terms for all the flowers and plants they get pop quizzes on

and he just wants to hurry up and meet you bc hes all 

“everythings gonna be fine when i meet my soulmate!!!!!! theyre gonna make everything perfect for me!!!!!”

like, hao sweetie

calm down

but he’d be so determined like legit whenever junhui was with him and they were around people he’d be like JUNHUI TOUCH MY ARM

and he’d look around frantically for someone being like “tf my arm is warm gosh dang wonder what my soulmates up to lol” but he’d be a bit disappointed every time.

anyway tho so jackson invites him and junhui to his friend jaes party after teaching them all the korean slang shit

legit hes like

“guys. i think youre ready for your first party”

junhui nearly cries

little does he know youre??? invited to the same one by your housemate jimin (jyp gang here we go)

anyway you go to the party and are determined like legit hugging everyone you meet and jimins next to you like

im rly sorry about her dont ask

and minghaos in the kitchen like!!!! wth my soulmate keeps hugging people junhui smh smh 

he’s slightly buzzed and hella jealous

anyway he goes to the loungeroom for a sec to find his friend sicheng who just messaged that he was here 

and wow best luck ever you walk up to junhui and jae and meet them both!! youre all 

JAEE THANKS FOR HAVING THIS PARTY IM Y/N and you give him the biggest hug and then you turn to junhui whos all

hi im junhui

and smiling awkwardly and youre like

NICE TO MEET YOU!!!!!

and give him an even bigger hug than you gave jae and jae and jimin are watching you like wtf and junhuis like awkwardly patting your back and IN COMES MINGHAO WHOS GETTING SICHENG A DRINK

hes like jeSuS chRiSt how many time does she have to hug her s/o in the span of an hour!!!!!!!!

and he feels random extra warmth spurt on his back and hes like what sort bf/gf pats their s/os back lmao and then he seens you hugging junhui and he like

pauses for a second 

then hes like haha gtta be a coincidence that i can see a georgeous random stranger hugging my best friend in the same way i can feel my soulmate hugging someone rn

amd junui sees hao and a wave of relief passes over him and he grabs your shoulders and pushes you away like

MINGHAO HEY!!

and you turn around as junhuis like “this is y/n, friend of a friend of jacksons ad jaes”

and minghaos like HOLY SHIT I FELT THAT MY SHOULDERS JUST GREW WARM

and then you meet eyes with the most goRGEOUS boy youve ever seen like HOW can someone look like that

and as soon as you meet eyes your body just gets soWARM and your heart like

fuckin swells and shit

and youre like ohmygodohmygod whats happening

and hes looking at you with the widest eyes ever and everyones like “wow they must find each other pretty hot theyre just staring at each other”

and suddenly minghao grabs sichengs hand and just places it on his chest and sichengs like wtf no homo

and you feel warmth on your chest and a surge of shock, excitement and hopefulness rush through your blood but the first thing you say is

WTF YOU PERV as youre grabbing your chest and junhui finally catches on and walks up and pokes you in the stomach and you yelp and minghao just touches the warm spot on his stomach and smiles SO wide

he legit runs up to you like OHMYGOD YOURE MY SOULMATE TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IVE DREAMT OF MEETING YOU MY WHOLE LIFE 

and he goes to hug you but stops himself

by now everyones gone to give you some privacy 

and youre like wot!!!!! hug me!!!!!!

but he just says “dont you have a partner?? im not doing anything with you until you and them break up” he ain no homewrecker sweeties no cheating in this household

and youre just like

????????? what ?????????

“youre always hugging your partner!! its hard not t notice, youre so proud after too :^(((”

and you start laughing

hes just pouting at you like whattttttttttttt

you say in between laughs

im hugging people for you!!! you havent been getting hugs lately, and i like it when you get hugs i love the feeling so i thought id hug a bunch of people so you could feel warm anf fuzzy inside!!!

he looks at you like,,,,,, oh,,,,,,

and then he swoops you into the biggest bear hug ever and you feel warm and fuzzy except its not the same. it feels so

so real??????

you almost start crying and then he pulls away looking teary eyed too

“y/n was it??? im minghao. and im looking forward to hugging you and being with you for the rest of my life.”

youve never smiled wider as you jumped into him and gave him your first kiss while thinking of how great your future was gonna be.

fin.

hope yall liked that shit!!!!!!

[apricotpicotty]

how a guy on omegle made me cry

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say STAND WITH HONG KONG AGAINST THE CCP!

You both like mbti.

You: yea ik

Stranger: Me too

You: ikrr

You: why do they tell us again and again

You: it's frustrating

Stranger: Yeah we already know

You: exactly!

Stranger: I'm sexy af

Stranger: Don't need to tell me twice

You: they kept telling me tht i fucked my cucumber-

You: well good for you ig

Stranger: Oh, so did you?

You: yea ofc

Stranger: Proof?

You: my polaroid pics

Stranger: Oh that's hot

Stranger: I wanna film a porno retro style

You: retro style prom?? tht's new to me

You: lemme google it

Stranger: Don't Google it

You: porn T-T*

Stranger: What's your mbti type

You: intj 3w2

Stranger: Wtf

You: wht?

Stranger: I didn't ask for some numbers

You: oh tht's enneagram

You: nvm

You: wht's urs?

Stranger: I'm not telling you

You: why not??

Stranger: Dumb bitch

Stranger: Why should I

You: yea i become one when i'm drunk

Stranger: Gross

You: ik i hate tht phase too

Stranger: Take 1 guess at my type

You: entx?

Stranger: Maybe

You: wdym maybe? yes or no?

Stranger: Neither

Stranger: All outcomes are equally probable

Stranger: My type exists in a superposition of states until observed

You: my god, sir u need help

You: u hve DID

Stranger: Nah

Stranger: I know who I am

Stranger: The problem is, you don't

You: well u won't even tell me who u r

You: so how would ik

Stranger: That's the point

You: so tell me?

Stranger: Nope

You: ok

You: retro porn huh? it's pretty ngl

Stranger: Stop watching it you perv

Stranger: I haven't watched porn in years

You: do u watch hentai then??

Stranger: Fuck no

You: lmao chill dude

Stranger: Ok

You: ngl these ladies got huge tits, makes me feel homo af

Stranger: Do you have huge tits

You: why do u ask?

Stranger: I'm bored

Stranger: I haven't done anything sexual in a month

You: sucks to be u

Stranger: I hooked up, felt traumatised

Stranger: Deleted tinder

You: traumatizing hook up lmaooo

Stranger: Now I'm blue balled af

Stranger: Some girls be awful at sex

Stranger: It's traumatic

You: sucks to be u, again

Stranger: Nah

Stranger: Being me is amazing

You: tht's a lot of optimism

Stranger: I love my life as is

Stranger: I wanna stay virgin for longer

Stranger: But I accidently asked a girl out

You: accidently?? how does tht even work?

Stranger: And I keep accidently flirting with her

Stranger: Because I'm too friendly

You: u r not believe me

Stranger: And she got "let's fuck" vibes

You: umm ok ig

Stranger: Oh yeah I hate everyone on omegle

Stranger: That's why

You: wht do u want me to say lmao

You: 36c cup bra

Stranger: Why you telling me

You: u asked me earlier

Stranger: Yeah but you're telling me now

You: yea i had to take off my bra and check cuz i forgot

Stranger: 👀👀👀

Stranger: Stirring my imagination

You: yea sure

Stranger: C cups are the best size though

Stranger: I don't like d cups

Stranger: Too big

You: big tits= back pain

Stranger: Small round tits are cuter

You: ikrrr!!

Stranger: I wanna play with some tits rn

You: download tinder again

Stranger: Fuck no

You: lol

Stranger: Waiting till mariage now

Stranger: After i fuck this one last girl

You: i pity tht girl

Stranger: Yeah true, she's gonna get 2 minutes of me trying to poke a needle in a haystack

You: wha- gahghajaajja

You: good luck with tht

Stranger: Trust me it's hard having sex

Stranger: When you're this impotent

Stranger: You should be impressed

You: idc, my dildos and vibs do the work for now and they're pretty good

Stranger: Good for you

You: sucks to be u

Stranger: Nah

You: buy an onahole

Stranger: I like everything leading up to sex

Stranger: The build up the emotions

Stranger: The vibes

You: ew emotions, those r just a bunch of hormones

Stranger: The talk

You: yea right, the talk

You: can't disagree with tht

Stranger: Nah I like make a girl feel some way

Stranger: *making

Stranger: Only if I'm in to her though

You: u r good at dirty talking ?

Stranger: You wanna find out?

You: we're literally just typing

Stranger: I was just asking

Stranger: I cba to sext

Stranger: No one asked but

Stranger: I just realised today how fat my cock is

Stranger: Thank god

You: lmaooo

You: if u call this "the talk" then nah thanks for the offer

Stranger: Nah this isn't the talk

Stranger: This is me being bored

Stranger: I told you I hate people on omegle

You: likewise

You: then why r u here?

Stranger: Idk

You: -

Stranger: Why are you here

You: bored

Stranger: Ok

Stranger: 34 c cup

You: yea

Stranger: Entertain me

Stranger: Tell me something about yourself

You: i'm using my tits as stress balls rn

You: it hurts but kinda feels good

Stranger: Hmm I can ease some of that stress for you

You: how? by skipping me? sure go ahead sir

Stranger: You can always skip yourself

Stranger: Although I have no problem if you're too pussy to skip yourself

You: don't wanna, too lazy to move the mouse

Stranger: Let me know

Stranger: Oh yeah, it's the mouse hmm sure

You: ( • )( • )ԅ(‾⌣ ‾ԅ)

You: this is cute no?

Stranger: No

You: u got no taste

Stranger: Yo i bet you're a 4/10

Stranger: But nice tits

You: i didn't ask but thnx ig?

Stranger: I'd still play with your tits as long as we don't make eye contact

You: tht is if i let you

Stranger: What's your ass like

You: idk

Stranger: Flat then

Stranger: Boring

You: ok

Stranger: Intj girls always have the flattest asses ig

Stranger: Unless they go to the gym

Stranger: Only ass I'll ever trust is esfp or infp

You: ok

Stranger: You upset?

You: no

Stranger: What's wrong baby :(

You: nothing

Stranger: Ok then

Stranger has disconnected.