#ww1 but make it ✨️✨️gay✨️✨️

[saltywombatllama]

Here's part 2 of this post :

(TW: a jelaus Sidney(in like 2 quotes, but whatever) !!)

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Maud: I asked Hayes how he’s doing.

Maud: He said, “Like a biscuit left in the rain. Soggy, forgotten, and strangely bitter.”

Maud: And then he saluted me.

Devi: That’s just British for “I’m fine.”

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Pritchard: (walks into the bunker holding a lit Molotov cocktail)

Hayes: What are you doing.

Pritchard: A vibe check.

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Maud: My gender is "tired schoolgirl with a rifle and a grudge."

Devi: That’s not a gender.

Maud: (loads the rifle )It is now.

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Devi: Capitalism is the true enemy.

Hayes: Pretty sure our current enemy has actual guns.

Devi: So does capitalism.

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Maud: Romance is dead.

Pritchard: I just saw Ellwood hand Gaunt a flower he dug out of a latrine.

Maud: Romance should be dead.

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[Bomb explodes in distance.]

Pritchard: [yelling] I AM SOFT! I AM A TENDER WAR FLOWER!

Maud: [flatly] You literally bit a pigeon last week.

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Ellwood: If I die, tell Gaunt I loved him.

Hayes: You can do that yourself, you're just mildly concussed.

Ellwood: No, it’s more romantic this way.

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Devi: Are you okay?

Maud: Yes.

[Continues to sip her tea as bombs fall behind her]

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Ellwood: Then call me Lord Goddamn Tennyson because I just used metaphor six times in one sentence and cried while sealing the envelope.

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Sandys: [sarcasticly] Captain Gaunt, I believe the Lord sent me to you for a reason.

Gaunt: (flatly) I’m sure He did.

Ellwood, whispering to Maud: Is murder a sin if he’s asking for it?

Maud: I’ll hold your coat.

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Ellwood: Why does Sandys get to stand next to Gaunt?

Maud: Because he’s not reciting Byron at him with heart eyes.

Ellwood: That’s slander.

Maud: You literally cried the last time Gaunt quoted Wilfred Owen.

Ellwood: The imagery was very moving.

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Pritchard: Hayes, hypothetically, how illegal is it to make a flamethrower out of a kettle?

Hayes: We are in France.

Pritchard: That’s not an answer.

Hayes: That’s because I don’t want to be tried as an accomplice.

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Ellwood: Gaunt’s eyes are like gunpowder and thunder.

Maud: You need a hobby. Something to do in your free time.

Ellwood: Gaunt is my hobby. I do him.

Maud: I said what I said.

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Devi: What if love is a bourgeois invention to trick us into reproducing?

Ellwood:[ wildly offended ]Speak for yourself, I’m in love with someone who can shoot a rifle and quote Tennyson.

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Ellwood: I can fix him.

Maud: He doesn’t want to be fixed.

Ellwood: I can out-trauma him, then.

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Pritchard: You ever just…

Hayes: No.

Pritchard: You didn’t let me finish.

Hayes: That’s because last time you “just” lit a match near the munitions.

Pritchard: Artistic expression!!

Hayes: Arson!!

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“Dearest S.,

The stars remind me of your eyes, though both are impossible to touch. The war drags on. I wish you would stop looking at me like you know how I smell when I’m not wearing cologne. I hope you are well. Please stop smiling. It is very distracting.

Yours. Not yours. Yours again,

G.”

[Letter never sent. Torn in half. Folded twice. Hidden in boot.]

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Sandys: The Lord will guide our steps.

Maud: He didn’t guide you around that mud puddle, did he.

Sandys: That was a test.

Maud: You failed.

Sandys: I slipped with dignity.

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Ellwood: If I got shot, would you cry?

Gaunt: Why would you say that??

Ellwood: Hypothetically.

Gaunt: Hypothetically, I’d burn down the front lines.

Ellwood: 🥺

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Devi: What’s your trauma type?

Hayes: I’m a “saw too much” type.

Gaunt: I’m the “held it all in until it shattered me” variety.

Pritchard: I’m the “blew it up and blamed the moon” model.

Ellwood: I'm the “fell in love during the war and now every bullet is a metaphor” flavor.

Maud: I’m British.

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Devi: We're all comrades in arms.

Pritchard: I feel more like a chaperone for a series of failed Victorian romantic tragedies.

Devi: Fair.

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Ellwood: I think your repressed trauma is sexy.

Gaunt: That sentence should be illegal.

Ellwood: But true.

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Hayes: What are the odds of us all surviving this war?

Maud: Statistically?

Pritchard: Emotionally?

Gaunt: Poetically?

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Part 3?