#xechu asks
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xechu · 8 days ago
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ive been a silent follower ever since i read the first chapter of H&V and may i say!!!! easily one of the most beautifully written literature work i have ever read. im not a big fan of angst as some authors tend to purposely hurt or make the circumstances so unrealistic just to squeeze out every bit of hurt the readers may feel. your angst is realistic! i flew by the chapters so quickly that i couldnt believe i finished chapter 5 already 🤣 im so excited for chapter 6 and how the story will unfold and i wouldnt mind seeing suguru do the yearning and groveling for everyone to see (esp ayaka and king sato!)
My heart is swelling! Thank you so much 🥹 I appreciate you sending me your lovely message. It means a lot that you came off ‘silent mode’ (lack of better term) to send me this! I know sometimes it may be a lot.
I’m so glad you find the angst realistic! I tried really hard to get into the headspace of all the characters - even Sayuri. And I definitely went through a lot of trial and error to make sure the pacing was ok and nothing dragged too much for no good reason. 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️
Yesss, we’re all waiting for the day our man Suguru is yearning and grovelling !!! 😈
I appreciate the love and support. 🫶🏻
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xechu · 7 days ago
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yes!! i noticed she said understand instead of love!!!! it really made me wonder if she was also testing the waters with suguru to see if he would correct her in some way, when what she said was actually more profound than love? they are just married and immediatly sent to a war camp, so they had no time to actually spend together and get to know each other (especially since suguru isolated mc on top of that...). so to then observe that they understand one another, its like saying they see and recognize each other even after such a short time.
isnt that a better foundation than love? bc ayaka and suguru think they love one another, but it seems they dont really know or understand each other. they just like the IDEA of each other and are comfortable in a shared past. the princess also seems (!) helpless and stupid, while suguru appreciates intelligence and adaptability? will we also get a suguru pov in future chapters?? im really wondering what was going through his mind when he betrayed mc like that and didnt protect her lol
AHHH. I'm SO glad you noticed it when you were reading it!!! Because I thought it was kind of a small detail that could be easily missed.
And yeah! To clarify my previous yap: what was going on in Ayaka's head when she said that was she was trying to downplay their relationship. Because in her mind love > understanding, and that love is way more intimate than understanding, which is not wrong, but not exactly right either (in my humble opinion). Like, sure, you can understand someone and remain platonic. But also, you really nailed it: understanding is a very strong foundation! 🤌✨ that’s where a very powerful love could be built on.
Soo all in all, Ayaka was very naive/short-sighted with her statement, because in her mind the feelings she has for Suguru is true love. What she doesn’t realize is that the two of them are on such different wavelengths now.
Hypothetically speaking, I think Suguru would have an easier time understanding Ayaka, but Ayaka would not be able to understand him at all… especially after what he’s gone through over the years. And she might eventually even feel burdened by it. She’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, but again, it had a lot to do with her upbringing. From a historical perspective, she fits into that box of being the ideal woman, and have been molded by societal expectations especially as a royalty. And even Suguru (his flashback with Sayuri) was really enamored by her qualities once upon a time, but he's obviously not the same man anymore. So yes! They’re definitely just hanging onto the comfort of the past and of "better days".
The theme of idealized love vs genuine compatibility is something we'll be exploring! ❤️
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xechu · 7 days ago
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In that one ask you answered
"don't worry, he's going to get dragged through the mud some more." No! Not some more. Much more. Very very much more. Like- how dare he? He kissed reader without their consent, didn't he? Then he wanted to kiss Ayala too? Also, reader's hand!!! The sword hand!!!
Also, "we're not letting him off the hook that easily." Easy?? Don't be shy, make it as difficult as possible, and even more. Difficulty level absolute max!!! We need crying and grovelling here!!
I hear you!! For sure, the kiss leaned into a very gray area. I think if he wasn't so cold and resentful towards her from the get-go - reader wouldn't have minded the kiss, even if it was for performance. But the emotional whiplash came from the fact that he was so cold to her so when the kiss happened she was like what the helly 😳😳
But YESS. Suguru's got ways to go to - the path of redemption is gonna be a tough one. Begging, crying, groveling, crawling, throwing up, yearning, sleepless nights. Love to see it. ❤️‍🔥 It's gonna be a reckoning!! 😏😏
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xechu · 7 days ago
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thank you for the update!! but i need the lovers in "enemies to lovers" now!! 😭😭😭
Bahaha. SAME. I’m just itching for them to kiss and make up. Alas, they’ll be in the trenches for a little longer 😇😇 We can't give Suguru the satisfaction so easily after what he put mc through. Thank you for the love! 💗💗
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xechu · 7 days ago
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oh my god i want to punch suguru in the face 😫 and princess ayaka too, how can she be so uncaring? testing the waters with HIS WIFE to see whether she can worm her way into his marriage, from the moment they met? then making an advance on him??? what the fuck?? and suguru ENTERTAINING IT???? and him not even attempting to protect HIS WIFE when she was clearly the only one in danger? and then ayaka stopping the PHYSICIAN FROM ARRIVING and singing praises to suguru, when it was all at the expense of lady geto. unbelievable, as if she doesnt know what she is doing. no one can be that stupid to act like a hurrying physician has nowhere to be when she JUST witnessed what happened. im not trusting this innocent act at all! and everyone else falling for it too, like the soldiers saying BOTH women got attacked made my blood boil lmao. when we are now probably permanently disabled, and it seems that hand is also important in the guild for some reason...
goddd suguru is such an asshole towards reader it is driving me crazy. is it bad im kinda hoping someone else will come to care for reader 😂🤭 bc suguru clearly doesnt, at least not in the ways he should have. i love how reader smacked his hand away from her and also put him in his place at dinner. i want him to feel what he has put her through since their wedding day!!!!!!!! this doesnt even scratch the surface!! god im so frustrated and sad i hope it all turns out okay for us 😔 as of right now suguru can still CHOKE 😤
OOOHHH yeah I 100% hear you on this. 😮‍💨😮‍💨 He may not have gotten a punch, but for now we’ll have to settle with him getting a swat to his hand (and to his soul). I definitely have plans for mc to beat him up some more later - may I suggest that it’s worse than a punch. 😏 And nooo, you're totally not wrong for wanting someone else to swoop in and care for mc, because she deserves so much more!!!
(More writer thoughts/yap below the cut)
As for Ayaka I have something in store for her, this is definitely not the last time we will see her! "Was this manipulation veiled beneath innocence, or was she genuinely daft?" HMMMM. We shall see later. Let’s just say: it’s not that simple. But is she infuriating right now? Do we want to pull her hair out? Is she a self-centered princess? YES. The whole time I was writing her all I could hear in my head is 'girl, read the damn room'.
She is for sure in a lot of denial (and I must say even delusional) and it shows even in the smallest ways, like when she said "Both you and Lady Geto said the same thing. You two must understand each other very well" to Suguru when they were walking together after the council prep meeting. At least in my head, when we're complimenting on someone's relationship/marriage - I think the more natural thing to say is "You two must love each other very much." But instead, she uses 'understand', because it's like if she said 'love' then she's speaking it into existence. BUT (a little bit of my personal philosophy here) - sometimes I think understanding is more powerful than love, and it's a gateway to love. You can't love someone without understanding them. So she didn't realize that she actually spoke something even more powerful into existence 🥸☝️
As of right now, both Ayaka and Suguru are still clinging on a past fantasy and a very idealized version of love. Though we can begin to see the shift in Suguru. This arc was supposed to be his fall-from-grace-eat-mega-dirt arc, where he was hit with a bunch of tests (arrogance, pride, lack of control, lust), and quite literally failed on all fronts, and the consequences were immediate. Unfortunately, that's how a lot of us learn. 😢 So YES! What Suguru did and how he's acted thus far was deeply upsetting. Do we condone it? Heck no. Should we defend it? Absolutely not. But is he deeply flawed? Yeahhh 😔 His reaction to defend Ayaka over mc - ouf, the betrayal was real, and it was a very real reflection of where his heart was at during that time, because you can’t control your reflex actions.
There will be a lot of accountability required from him, and it’ll take a lot for the trust to rebuild. Don't worry, he's going to be dragged through the mud some more. We're not letting him off the hook that easily!
Anyway! I went on a bit of a tangent.
Thank you so much for your comment! And I appreciate the love and support 💗💗
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xechu · 7 days ago
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Hey thereee, I'm not really good with words so I'm afraid I can't properly talk about your work the way it deserves, but I want to say that this fic is probably one of my favorite things ever to read here on tumblr <3 Through every chapter my stomach does somersaults from all the feelings I get with the story that is so well written, and all characters are so complex and make you want to learn more about each of them constantly, even the ones I don't particularly like *cough* the princess *cough*.
Anyways thank you so much for sharing your work with us, you deserve all the love and praise and more💖
I am clutching my chest!! 😭 Thank you so much for your kind words. And please, do not stress yourself out with finding the 'proper' words to talk about my work, your own way of conveying your message IS already the proper way - I promise! I always love to hear what you all are thinking or reactions when reading a chapter, even if it's something short and straightforward. If my story is able to pull out some feelings for you - that's a win for me. ☺️
(More below the cut)
I appreciate you seeing that all the characters are complex in their own ways. And I'm glad you are interested in knowing more about them, because small heads-up: Chapter 6 will be told in Haibara's POV and we will get to learn about him and Suguru's past some more. I personally really like how Haibara is shaping out in this story, and I could say he's easily becoming one of the MVPs in my book. 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️
Again, thank you so much for the love! 💖💖
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xechu · 11 days ago
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ooooo that was a lot of lore wooo i love chapters like these! i thought sato would be testing suguru, but i also felt it would be some kind of threat towards reader bc why did he want the whole household there. but now with the princess arriving??? hmmm it feels like he is ALSO testing whether he is truly a Married Man and no longer interested in the princess... king sato is paranoid for suuure but im really curious to see what sugurus ambitions are! was the king the one behind the massacre of house geto.....👀👀👀👀👀 is he the one suguru wants revenge against?? 👀👀👀
also suguru was soo short sighted with this marriage thing like did he actually expect ANY woman would be fine with being demeaned and humiliated by him so many times?? and how did he even plan to then get rid of the wife when he achieved his ends like??? if honor is so important then why was he fine with taking a random womans honor for his own ambitions..... and now he feels guilty bc he is faced with the fact that she is a person with real thought and feelings 😐 like he just now realised his father cares for her.... man what are you doingggg 😫 he is bound to be begging on his knees for reader (and her forgiveness) in the future lmaooo cant wait!! thanks for the chapter ❤️❤️
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Phew, I was worried this chapter might have been an overload, so it makes me happy to hear that you like it. 😌 Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and message. 🫶🫶
(Some of my writing thoughts and analysis below the cut)
King Sato is definitely up to something (but like, also, when is he ever not? Definitely the type to be like would you still conquer lands and die for me if I was a worm?) My vision for him was not just an evil, greedy, dumb, and spoiled king - he's actually rather smart, but his judgment is definitely clouded by his delusions and insecurities... so when the judgment is clouded, it does make him more susceptible to doing irrational things. And his paranoia will actually get worse as the story progresses. King Sato was slightly inspired by Macbeth.
As for Suguru yeah... our man has a lot to unpack. SIGH. 1000% short-sighted with the marriage. I would say his decision to marry was mostly out of practicality, but a small fraction of it was an emotional whim. Also, given the historical context I guess he's not 'wrong' for assuming that reader would be rather submissive, quiet, docile, etc (I know, it sounds awful) and then be kinda shellshocked when she isn't. Though to be fair, it's not like reader even asked for much - she also accepted to a certain degree that she can accept a marriage without love, but not without respect. But for a man who is so used to control, have gone through hell and rose up to the occasion, and not usually be questioned among his peers, it was jarring to have someone challenge and confront him (even in the slightest), and he didn’t know what to do with it. And yeah, the part about him realizing that reader is someone else's daughter - it was kinda bitter even when I wrote it. LOL. Like, sir, wdym you're just realizing this now??? But again, it's one of those things where I believe in general people aren't dumb, but there's a lot of reason why they don't choose to acknowledge certain things - whether they're acceptable reasons or not.
Since it’s obvious that Suguru and reader will fall for each other, what I really wanted to explore was the theme of idealized love vs genuine compatibility. For now, it is safe to say that, yes, Suguru is starting to acknowledge reader and she'll become harder and harder to ignore. But for now, his heart is still very much with Ayaka.
Sooo we'll see how everything unfolds next chapter.
Again, thank you so much for your message!
I appreciate you!🌹x
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xechu · 8 hours ago
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I KNEW IT!!! i knew it was the king!!!!!!! haibaras perspective was so interesting, the history between him and the geto family is so rich! what really stood out to me were the changes in his and sugurus characters before and after the massacre of the family. it really gives a lot of context to how they are as people, but i still cant believe suguru could be so heartless to reader... so he feels guilty and sorry after what happened and for his behavior towards her, and that is why he hasnt even gone to see her for 2 weeks after she got hurt? when he lives with the regret he was callous towards his sister right before she died... but now he lets his wife rot for 2 weeks 😐 its safe to say i still want to punch him 🥰❤️ why did he have to drag an innocent and unknown woman into his quest for revenge? and how could he do it so callously......... especially when he realised in the past his sister was scared of her future marriage, but to then get another lady into a cruel and cold marriage with him without remorse? im seeing a lot of parallels between reader and sugurus sister and i just feel sad as fuck about it 😭 none of this had to be this way, but suguru made sure it was. and for what???why??!!!! 😭
YESSS. TADAA 👑
(More yap/analysis below the cut)
Our little Haibara for reaalll. 🥺 I wanted to hug him so badly this chapter, but I'm also very proud of his growth. There's something about found family that is so precious to me, so I'm glad you liked his relationship with the Getos.
And yes! It's almost as if Haibara and Suguru swapped after the massacre, right?! I wanted to explore how grief shapes people, but I believe fundamentally, both Haibara and Suguru still retain their core traits.
The way I see it, Suguru was always capable of being emotionally available and warm, but it's all repressed and locked up right now.
I personally think why Haibara and Suguru turned out so differently after the massacre was because even though both of them experienced loss, Haibara actually attained a sense of freedom (him standing up and severing ties with Akito), whereas Suguru completely lost his comfort and safety.
Haibara grew up having to suppress who he was for survival (Akito is an asshole that I'm sure many of us had encountered irl). Meanwhile, Suguru grew up in a very safe environment - sure he had pressures and a legacy to uphold, but he was free to be his own person.
Once Akito no longer held power over Haibara, we finally see him step into who he really is. On the flip side, when Suguru lost his family, he was forced to become the sole heir of House Geto and immediately had to assume that role without much footing. You can already see hints of paranoia, and he’s basically learned how to disassociate and compartmentalize just to survive.
He’s deeply flawed, and honestly, I'd even say morally gray by the time he marries the reader. Like yeah, we would think: ok, well you've dealt with guilt, shame, and regret before - and under similar circumstances, too! Your sister had expressed that reluctance to marry a man she doesn't love, and you've talked about finding her man she can respect and be worthy of her. So why?! Why are you committing these mistakes?? Why are you not trying to console reader when you feel remorseful?! It's super frustrating!!
But again, I think that just goes to show how much the past ten years have warped him.
Suguru will get his comeuppance FOR SURE.
Thank you for your ask - and for all your love and support for the series. ❤️
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xechu · 8 days ago
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thank you for your geto fic… always looking forward to the next chapter 💋
Thank YOU so much for your love and support 💗
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xechu · 18 hours ago
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your blog is set up so perfectly i love it
Thank you so much! 😊��
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xechu · 12 days ago
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eeeee im excited!!!
Aww, you're so sweet 🥹 I hope you'll enjoy it! x
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xechu · 1 month ago
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honor and vengeance is sooo good!! its so interesting i am hooked!! cant wait to see how the story plays out :)
Thank you so much!! ♥️♥️ I’m so glad you’ve been enjoying it. It means so much to hear how you find the story interesting! Stayed tuned. x
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