#zalgo transcript: Mayor Luskey

[captainseamech]

             There was aggressive knocking at Mayor Luskey’s door, almost breaking it and seemingly impatient too. It was way past midnight, clocking around 4am even, of course the man would be upset to be awaken from his sleep. Grabbing the toupée and wearing only the top part of his suit over his pajamas, the man headed outside his home, prepared to scream at whoever dared to wake him up in such a trivial hour...

             Only to find that the perpetrator of such ‘crime’ was none other than High Tide himself, standing just outside in road with thick steam billowing from the corners of his mouth. Oh, he was not happy, and the mayor very quickly realized that with a yelp and shrinking his shoulders as the green light of the mech’s optics beamed over his round figure.

             “O-Oh! I-It’s you! Uh, High Tide, right?” The man trembled in fear and forced his body to approach the fence surrounding his house, giving a nervous wave with an equally nervous chuckle. “To what do I owe you the—”

             “Don’t try to be buddy buddy with me now, Luskey.” High Tide quickly interrupted with a snarl, holding back the urge to be aggressive as much as he could. “I try to do my best to stay out of yer business and always fetch ya yer precious little yachts every time ye sink one. And what do I get in return? Well, ye should guarantee that Heatwave and the rest o the team doesn’t get in serious danger.”

             “Now I object to that!” Luskey pointed a finger at the mech, immediately regretting his action when a growl was heard. “I-I mean, yes I am aware of our deal and I’m doing just what we have discussed prior! You make sure my yachts are always in perfect condition when you retrieve them and I protect the Burns family with the bots too. All is good according to those terms, right?”

             “WRONG!” The sea mech practically roared in response, the steam now escaping from his shoulder and face pipes while getting even thicker. “Not only ye failed to ‘protect’ Heatwave like ye just implied, but ye brought inexperienced people to yer stupid fireworks show, which led to utter disaster!” The cluelesness of the mayor made High Tide disapprovingly click his glossa behind his dentae. “Ye have no idea of what I’m talkin’ ‘bout, do ya? Well, how about ye pay more attention to that stupid reporter instead of sleepin’ and take a look at this?!”

             Opening a temporary screen with the glass of his chest plate, High Tide repeated the broadcast given by Huxley and even dared to show Heatwave’s condition from his point of view. The mayor seemed uninterested and slightly concerned at first — of course he would — until the screen changed for a second time to showcase High Tide’s view of the situation, which made him show relief. “Oh thank goodness the pyrotechnics crew are okay and mostly unharmed!”

             Wrong set of words, buddy. Even his wife, who was spying them both from the door in her robes, quietly facepalmed at her husband’s sentence.

             “Oh really? So what you are sayin’ is that you’re not a little bit concerned about Heatwave’s safety and wouldn’t mind if he died as long as your little precious crew was alive and well?!” The man gesticulated as in an attempt to rephrase himself better, but the mech quickly cut that short. “Nah ah ah! Don’t try and lie to me, yer first impression already said everything that I needed to hear.”

             “Now ye listen ‘ere, ye scummy scallywag.” High Tide towered over the mayor and pointed a digit at him, his shadow practically taking over the scenario. “Ye may care less about the bots, but they try their best to make sure yer citizens are all alive and well, especially Heatwave as he’s always in the front lines guidin’ the team. Now thanks to yer lack of care, he’s temporarily out of commission, which means I will be snoopin’ in yer business whether ye like it or not.”

             There was a pause as High Tide leaned in dangerously close to the mayor, green hues ominously washing over the human as he trembled in fear while hugging his toupee for dear life. “And since I’m currently in charge, here’s what I have to say: Stop hiring hatchlings to take over dangerous situations like this one. Stop callin’ people ye don’t know from Maine to delay our efficiency with rescues. Maybe if ye stop spendin’ yer money on a new yacht or useless project that will endanger the whole island, none of this would’ve happened since ye would use that money to hire capable professionals. Am I clear?”

             Mayor Luskey gulped. “W-Well I—”

             “Am I clear, M̸a̶y̶o̴r̷ ̴L̷u̶s̸k̷e̴y̷?” He interrupted with static in his voice and a threatening snarl, causing the man to shriek in fear and quickly nodding his head multiple times. “Good. I expect ye to send a proper apology letter to Heatwave after tonight’s absolute catastrophe.” Getting up to his pedes, High Tide turned and went his path back to the firehouse, heavy pede falls following him through.

             What a way to start the year.