#~[temp muse]~ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thexsanctuaryx · 9 months ago

Text

ʚ♡ɞ I'll Follow You Into the Dark ʚ♡ɞ

➳ NEXT CHAPTER

{ summary: } marc and emma arrive in the same wing of the same mental hospital at the same time. { pairing: } | eventual | original character { emma harper } x marc spector, emma harper x steven grant, and emma harper x jake lockley { contents: } mental hospitals, psychiatric hold, first meeting, angst { I guess? I don't know what else to call it. } { warnings: } severe mental illness { psychosis, hallucinations, depression }, main character is actively in psychosis, I've done my best to write it in the least triggering way but there are a lot of heavy themes that will take place in this series, so forewarning. Marc is a danger to himself here but it's only really alluded to in this part. mental hospitals. triggering themes related to the aforementioned. { author's note: } I recently finished reading "tear down my reason" by @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction and it inspired me to work on an idea I've been playing with about emma and the boys meeting while both in a mental hospital at the same time. I wanted to write a series that would help other people with severe mental illness feel seen and heard as there really aren't works out there like this. This series is being written with a lot of love and care so I truly hope that it can be cathartic for those who read who might also live with mental illness because you DO matter and your story DOES deserve to be told. { word count: } 969 { taglist: } @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

They’d been admitted the same night, after lights out, two frozen bodies sitting in the darkened day room waiting to be assigned a bed.

It was unusual for two people to land in the same wing at the same time, let alone this late at night but that’s just how it happened.

She sits quietly, fully believing she’s in some kind of limbo between this life and the next – that somehow this was just how her brain was processing her passing, waiting to be judged.

She wonders if the man, slumped in the chair half a dozen feet from her is also recently deceased. Or so she believes.

He seems sullen and she wonders if perhaps he’d taken his own life to end up here in this seeming waystation.

Despite his deep scowl, she finds him beautiful. And then she thinks to herself, maybe he’s an angel and it’s some kind of test to see how she’ll interact with him.

As his eyes rise to hers, his frown etches further into his features. “You're staring…” He mutters, rolling his shoulders tensely.

“Sorry—” Emma apologizes, tearing her eyes away. “I was just—wondering if you were okay…” She mumbles softly.

“Would I be here if I were okay?” He replies.

Emma confuses his meaning, again thinking maybe this in the afterlife. And again, she thinks he must’ve taken his life.

‘Marc—come on, she seems sweet…’ A voice in his mind says, whose worried expression reflects from the window to the hallway.

“How can you possibly tell that, Steven?” He mutters again.

When he speaks to someone that doesn’t appear to be in the room, she starts to turn the options over in her mind.

Maybe he’s hearing voices like she started to this morning before…before it happened…

Or maybe she just can’t see the person he’s speaking to because that person is on a spiritual plane she can’t comprehend yet.

Still, she’s sure it’s all a test.

“Who is Steven?” she asks gently, trying to help.

Marc’s eyes flash to hers again, that seem to look on him with such an innocence that even he can’t see her question as malicious.

“Is he here too?” She asks, looking confused but somehow so compassionate.

This in turn confuses him.

‘I don’t think she’s here for the same reason we are, mate…” Steven says within their headspace, looking at the girl with such soft regard.

There’s a small pout at Marc’s lips as he studies her. She radiates a kind of sensitive and soothing energy that belongs far away from a place like this.

He can’t help but soften along with Steven.

Another presence moves into focus in their shared space. He takes one look at the girl and feels his own protective nature kick in.

‘Who’s this?’

Marc doesn’t realize how long the silence has lingered between them until Jake speaks.

All the while, she continues looking softly at him, occasionally shying away her eyes.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me…” Emma breaks the silence.

Marc shakes his head slowly, somehow finding himself more worried about her than he is about himself at this point.

“What’s your name?” He asks, tempering his voice.

She swallows, tucking some hair behind her ear. “E-Emma…” She rolls her lips in, causing dimples to dip lightly into her cheeks as her eyes glance away shyly again.

Jake watches stunned from the reflection beside Steven.

He doesn’t know where it comes from, but he only softens more. “I’m Marc…” he introduces himself.

Emma eyes rise to his again, nodding slowly.

Her mind is already moving on, asking quietly, “do you know how long we’ll be here?”

Marc mistakes her meaning, just assuming it must be her first time on a psychiatric hold.

“72 hours—they have to—”

Emma’s already talking over him, more to herself but audible enough for the three of them to hear. “Three days? Like Easter?” She wonders aloud.

Marc’s eyebrows pull together, his mouth hanging open a little. “huh?”

“Easter—” Emma repeats. “Jesus came back to life after three days…”

‘Oh I—Marc I don’t think she knows what’s happening at all…’ Steven tells him.

Marc blinks slowly, but continues to soften, “do you know where you are right now, Emma?”

She shakes her head quickly and her shoulders pulling up to her ears, “I think it’s—well it’s kinda like limbo, right?” She pauses, furrowing her own brow. “We’re waiting to be judged…” She does her best to explain.

An ache goes through his chest, somehow his situation seems to pale in comparison with hers.

“No, Emma—” He starts, but is abruptly cut off when the floor staff comes to collect her first.

Fear seems to come over her face and it’s all he can do to stay in his chair, knowing that causing a scene would end badly for one or both of them.

“I’ll see you tomorrow—okay?” Is all he can get out.

“Tomorrow?” Emma questions in a daze.

“Come on, Emma—let’s get you settled…” The woman ushers her out of the door. “Someone will be back for you in a minute, Marc.”

This does nothing to ‘settle’ Marc at all, in fact, even after they get him situated in a room he still can’t stop worrying.

And so there he lies, in the dark on his side in a twin sized bed that feels a little too small, wrapped in thin hospital blankets, unable to get his mind off of the beautiful girl somewhere in a room along the same hallway.

The same beautiful girl who likewise lies in the dark, wondering over an angel named Marc and what will come of her.

Of one thing was certain for both of them, sleep wouldn’t come so easily tonight.

33 notes · View notes

xthexsanctuaryx · 20 days ago

Text

{ i'll follow you into the dark }

➳ PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

{ summary: } marc requests his court hearing and is signed off to be released before knowing what will happen with emma's. they're forced into an all too swift goodbye. { pairing: } | eventual | original character { emma harper } x marc spector { content: } mental hospitals, psychiatric hold, angst { I guess? I don’t know what else to call it. }, hurt/comfort-esque vibes, cliffhanger? { warnings: } severe mental illness { psychosis, hallucinations, depression }, main character is actively in psychosis, I’ve done my best to write it in the least triggering way but there are a lot of heavy themes that will take place in this series, so forewarning. mental hospitals. typical misunderstanding and misinterpretation that comes with psychosis. due to the nature of emma’s psychosis, things are very unhealthily skewed in a religious context. triggering themes related to the aforementioned { author’s note: } after I finished reading "tear down my reason" by @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction it inspired me to work on an idea I’d been playing with about emma and the boys meeting while both in a mental hospital at the same time. I wanted to write a series that would help other people with severe mental illness feel seen and heard as there really aren't works out there like this, especially not actually written by people with firsthand experience of things like psychosis. this series is being written with a lot of love and care so I truly hope that it can be cathartic for those who read who might also live with mental illness because you DO matter and your stories DO deserve to be told. { word count: } 1,208 { taglist: } @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @sub-aro

The next morning she wakes up all too early, feeling groggy and unsure of where she is. The door to the little white room is cracked and she can hear people speaking outside of it.

She swallows roughly as she rubs a fist at her eye, unsure of whether or not this is real. As her socks hit the floor, she makes her way slowly to the door, reaching to push it open but withdrawing her hand apprehensively.

She knows now more than ever that she doesn’t want to be here anymore, wherever here is.

She finally pushes the door open, clearing her throat quietly to make her presence known. She wonders how long she slept, if it truly was sleeping.

One of the female floor staff greets her indifferently and she can’t resist the urge to ask what time it is.

“6:34AM.” Is the short answer she receives.

Emma scowls.

Time seemed to move so differently here.

She asks how much longer she has to stay here, and the woman replies that she can request her court hearing if it her 72 hours are up.

Emma hesitantly tells her that, “she’d like that, please.”

Anything if it meant getting out of this seeming prison.

The staff tells her that she’ll get things moving, for now to just head back to her room.

Emma nods, rubbing at her eyes again as she’s led out of the office area to the hallway.

She’s so disoriented that it’s a miracle that she notices him sitting there in the darkened day room. Largely because, as if knowing she was there, his head shoots up.

He’d slept for maybe two hours, finally getting up and sitting on the floor in the hallway. The staff had taken pity on him and allowed him to sit in the day room since they were going to begin morning vitals soon anyway.

He’d immediately risen when she’d stepped foot through the door to the hallway, doing his best not to completely rush over toward her.

He’s never wanted to hug someone so badly in his entire life, resisting every instinct to pull her into his arms.

“Marc…” She says, her voice laced with quiet relief to see him. She shouldn’t be surprised that her angel would be there waiting for her when she’d gotten through what had been one of the scariest nights for her to date.

“Hey…” He replies with a look of soft anguish over his features. Trying to lighten her spirits, he teases, “Someday you’re gonna have to tell me how you do that.”

She doesn’t need him to clarify, she already knows he means the way she’d recognized him from the other two – even without needing him to speak.

Like him, it feels wrong to not embrace him at a time like this, but she doesn’t want to risk wrath.

“You look tired.” She tells him just above a whisper, her own expression riddled with concern as her mind moves on.

“Rough night,” He brushes off, turning the attention back to her. “Are you okay?”

“I—I don’t know—they said they were going to request my court hearing?” She asks more than says.

Marc breathes a heavy sigh, “I already asked for ours…”

She tilts her head to the side, her brows furrowing together in confusion.

“Nobody explained how it works to you, did they?” He asks heavily.

Emma shakes her head slowly.

“Come on—I’ll try.”

And so he does.

For the next half an hour he tries to explain to her in the most basic of terms how the hearing will go down.

He’s sure once she’s there, her mind is going to turn it into something that it isn’t, but there’s nothing he can do that he hasn’t.

Vitals and breakfast pass in a flash and before they know it, he’s called for his own hearing.

It, likewise, passes quickly and he’s set to be released before lunch.

Emma has yet to hear about her own and this only puts him even more on edge.

He does his best to stall, hoping that she’ll be taken back before they’re released, but there’s still no word even as he’s taken to fill out, outtake paperwork.

There’s nothing that he can do once they hand him his copies and send him to pack.

He gathers his things as slowly as he can, but is quickly prompted to move things along faster so they can admit the patient taking his place.

This, all while Emma lurks closely by the door of the room fidgeting nervously with her fingers just out of sight.

“Alright, alright—I’m almost done—I just need to say goodbye to someone.”

Emma’s heart sinks at the word ‘goodbye,’ finding herself wanting to run and hide while simultaneously wanting to keep him there longer.

The staff tries to insist he needs to get going, but finally agrees to let him go to the day room – unaware that Emma stands just outside the door.

“You got five minutes.” He’s warned sternly.

As the staff leaves, he betrays where Emma stands, giving her an equally stern look.

Marc frowns and tosses the plastic bag of his belongings that he’s just finished filling aside on the floor just inside the door, moving around the corner of it. “Hey…I was about to come find you—”

“What if I never see you again?” Emma cuts him off, her voice cracking over the words.

Marc releases a heavy sigh through his nose, shaking his head as he struggles to find his own voice.

He knows they’re on borrowed time and tries to come up with any kind of plan.

She clutches the makeshift journal she’s created along with a couple crayons to her chest – the bright blue of the crayon on white printer paper catching his eye.

“Can I—?” He asks, eyeing the journal and nodding toward it.

Emma nods quickly, handing him the journal and crayons.

“Thank you.” He tells her softly, moving swiftly to write down their phone number and address – just in case.

“If you ever – ever – need anything—please – call us.” He says, looking her directly in the eyes to make sure she understands. “Okay?”

Emma nods, reaching for the journal.

As Marc hands it back he keeps a firm hold on it, “Promise?”

“Promise.” Emma agrees solemnly.

He releases the journal to her and reaches to tilt her head, pressing a hasty kiss to her hairline.

“We’ll always be there if you need us,” He makes a promise of his own.

He releases her just before the staff returns.

“Ready, Marc?”

“Yeah, I guess…” He replies, looking Emma over sadly.

The staff only prompts him again, “Marc.”

This snaps him out of his reverie, clearing his throat and reaching for his bags.

“I’ll see you…” He tells Emma, whose eyes are already welling up as she nods slowly.

The staff then rushes Marc toward the locked doors of the wing, leaving Emma standing there watching him go, sure that it’s the last she’ll ever see of her angel.

As he disappears behind the doors, a few tears slip down her cheeks, just standing there frozen staring at what she perceives as a portal to an unknown realm.

7 notes · View notes

travelers-of-the-multiverse · 7 months ago

Text

@foolish-space-owl

It was a weird thing, the idea that Blitz would even want to go more steady with Stolas. How far he's come from the day where he solicited the prince for sex to get his grimoire. Now? He'd tear up anyone who would dare hurt him. Of course, this progression would involve more than just the two of them. Their daughters especially deserve a voice on how they feel about this.

So, that's why they're here now. He, his daughter Loona, Stolas, and his daughter Octavia. They were all here so they could talk about what they thought about his and Stols' relationship going forward.

Unfortunately, he wasn't sure how to start this up. "So...Umm, thank you, uhh, for both coming...here." He says, as they were talking in Stolas' home. Loona just rolled her eyes at that awkward introduction.

#ic #rp #blitzo: silent o assassin imp #temp muse: lounging lady loona #foolish space owl: prince with a heart stolas

30 notes · View notes

pudgy-planets · 5 days ago

Text

“I will not placate nor quell my ambitions simply for the sake of this faux peace you and these lesser lifeforms have ordained. My desires are absolute and they shall come to fruition by my own hand.”

Do you understand how vore-coded this character is? This woman speaks about eating and consuming everyone in every single route.

There was a scene where she fucking ate one of the characters and she patted her stomach afterwards. When people are consumed in this game, people often comment on the taste or feeling of another’s very life essence coursing through them.

V’ehxness is simply unhinged about it.

#temp!muse: v’ehxness #nevermindtheweights

11 notes · View notes

readyplayerziggy · 2 months ago

Text

*Got their nips taped up while they were sleeping so they weren't leaking come morning.

*Had their alarms shut off so they'd sleep in and miss their morning draining.

*Neither of them can move.

*They're too busy trying to reach the tape and not cum (more) they don't even have the brainpower to be angry at whoever's responsible.

#muse: raikou #temp! muse: tamamo no mae

16 notes · View notes

gainprincess · 2 months ago

Text

Pulling her shirt down a bit, to cover the expansive, bloated rolls of lard she calls a stomach.

Addicted to fat, to lard, to excess... That's the true legacy of Schnee women.

Winter, despite her severe outlook, is just as bad as her mother and younger sister, and is only somewhat in denial.

#temp!muse: winter

13 notes · View notes

thexsanctuaryx · 9 months ago

Text

ʚ♡ɞ I'll Follow You Into the Dark ʚ♡ɞ

➳ PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

{ summary: } a different kind of morning after. marc learns a little more about what emma is going through and emma becomes more certain than ever that marc might just be an honest to god angel. { pairing: } | eventual | original character { emma harper } x marc spector, emma harper x steven grant, and emma harper x jake lockley { contents: } mental hospitals, psychiatric hold, slight bullying by another patient, angst { I guess? I don't know what else to call it. }, hurt/comfort-esque vibes { warnings: } severe mental illness { psychosis, hallucinations, depression }, main character is actively in psychosis, I've done my best to write it in the least triggering way but there are a lot of heavy themes that will take place in this series, so forewarning. marc is a danger to himself here but it's only really alluded to in this part. mental hospitals. bullying by emma's roommate. typical misunderstanding and misinterpretation that comes with psychosis. due to the nature of emma's psychosis, things are very unhealthily skewed in a religious context. triggering themes related to the aforementioned. { author's note: } I recently finished reading "tear down my reason" by @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction and it inspired me to work on an idea I've been playing with about emma and the boys meeting while both in a mental hospital at the same time. I wanted to write a series that would help other people with severe mental illness feel seen and heard as there really aren't works out there like this, especially not actually written by people with firsthand experience of things like psychosis. this series is being written with a lot of love and care so I truly hope that it can be cathartic for those who read who might also live with mental illness because you DO matter and your stories DO deserve to be told. { word count: } 1,599 { taglist: } @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

The next morning, Marc wakes up on too little sleep, vaguely aware of the nurse wrapping a blood pressure cuff around his arm.

He takes in a deep breath, forgetting where he is for a second before the memories come flooding back to him.

He releases the breath in a heavy sigh, inwardly hating himself for winding up here. Again. The nurse finishes taking his vitals and tells him they’ll be leaving for breakfast soon.

Somehow, eating food seems like the last thing he wants to do and he debates whether or not to stay back.

His eyes pop open with a start when he remembers her. His resolve to talk to her again is challenged by both his exhaustion and the self-loathing belief that he couldn’t possibly help her.

‘I want to see her again, Marc…’ Jake sounds off.

‘And you need to eat something—can’t go runnin’ around on nothing…’

“I don’t plan on doing any running, Steven…”

‘Marc…’ Jake presses.

Marc pushes out another sigh, swinging his legs out and leaning over the side of the bed, burying his face in his hands.

He walks over to the small plastic cubby on the wall that holds his clothes, pulling on an oversized sweatshirt and running a hand over his face.

He steps out into the hallway, looking in either direction, and notices he’s one of the first to be up. Typical. He releases a yawn and moves toward the day room to see if she’s in there.

The room is all but empty but he finds a seat, slumping back the same way he had the night before.

‘I hope she’s doing a bit better today…she looked so frightened last night…’

Marc doesn’t want to show any concern for her, a girl he doesn’t even know, but there’s an underlying worry in his gut.

“Me too, buddy, me too…” He mumbles, telling himself it’s only for Steven’s sake.

More patients filter into the room and still she’s nowhere to be seen.

Half an hour later they’re calling everyone to line up if they’re going to breakfast.

He pushes from the chair and makes his way to the line.

She catches his eye, coming out of the room furthest to the end of the hallway on the right, just before the locked entrance to the wing. He notes that she’s still wearing a standard issue hospital gown instead of real clothing.

She’s talking to one of the floor staff, looking confused the same way she did last night, before they usher her to the end of the line.

Marc abandons his place near the middle to join her.

“Hey…” He gently greets her. “How’d you sleep?” He asks, hoping she’s more lucid today.

“Sleep?” She repeats, her mind working over his question.

Another voice chimes in over her, “she slept in the shower after she put on my clothes…” Another girl says grumpily, before she really looks at Marc.

When she takes him in, she clears her throat, straightening up a little bit and smoothing out her clothes. “You’re new…” She says, brightening a little.

Marc pays less than an ounce of attention to her after she explains what happened with Emma.

“Are you okay?” He asks her softly and frowning, wanting to reach out to give her some kind of physical comfort but knowing he shouldn’t.

Emma’s eyebrows pull together, shaking her head quickly just before their attention is pulled away to the staff leading them out of the wing and down through the building to the cafeteria.

As they go through the line, Emma takes hardly anything to eat which only settles more worry in Marc’s stomach.

She goes to sit alone, setting her tray down and pulling her hands into her lap, fiddling anxiously with her fingers.

Marc makes his way over, eyeing all of the other tables of people who’d grouped up.

Her roommate can be seeing staring at her from one such group, clearly gossiping about ‘the new girl’ to avid listeners.

“Can I sit with you?” He asks, keeping his voice as light as he can.

Emma nods quickly, scowling at her lap.

“Thanks,” He replies, trying to get her to talk as he slides into the chair next to her that intentionally blocks her from her roommate’s view.

“You should try to eat something, it’ll make you feel better…” He suggests.

Emma shakes her head, avoiding his eyes.

Marc nods, scrunching up the side of his face, “yeah…I’m not really hungry either…”

The other two in his mind watch quietly with bated breath.

“Y’know, I wanted to say last night…you’re not dead, you’re in the hospital, this isn’t—”

Emma looks up at him wide-eyed, so sure once again that it’s a test. She can’t even form coherent words.

Marc pauses, able to tell that no matter what he says, she’s just not capable of understanding right now.

“Are you scared of me?” He asks gently.

Emma is quick to shake her head.

She wants to tell him that she’s sure he’s an angel, sent to guide her through this process.

After all, no one had been nearly as kind to her since she’d gotten here. And he had been there as soon as she’d landed here, wherever here was.

Her response provokes Marc to worry that if Steven or Jake were to come forward she might become scared.

He tries to find a way to tell her without perpetuating whatever confusion is going on in her brain right now.

‘Careful, Marc…’ Jake reminds him.

Emma seems to be lost in her own thoughts as Marc watches her. He can almost see her battling people within her own mind.

“Are you hearing people in your head?” He asks, keeping his tone in check.

Emma nods quickly, casting her eyes to her lap again.

“I know what that’s like…” Marc nods.

Again, he wants so badly to explain to her about Steven and Jake but he knows how tricky it would be to do so without scaring her in her present state.

“Sometimes—…” He starts.

He presses his lips together with another scowl.

“Sometimes, I might not be…me…sometimes you might see Steven…or Jake…they’re friends of mine and we…we sorta—share— a body…”

Emma’s eyes fly to his, widening again, looking more than a little nervous, her voice tremoring, “l-like possession?”

‘Well done, Marc, scare the poor girl…’ Steven rolls his eyes.

Marc keeps his tone light, with a quiet, tense laugh. “More like roommates…in my brain…”

“A-are you sure they’re not…demons?”

“I’m sure…” He nods, taking no offense to the question as he starts to piece together what her brain is going through at present.

“Is that what you think you’re hearing right now?” He asks.

Emma nods quickly and then shakes her head, “That is what I’m hearing…and—I think some of the people here might be—ya know—” She pauses, giving him a look, “too…”

Marc glances around, nodding again with a pinch of his eyebrows. “I can see why you’d say that. But they’re not…they’re just sick…”

Emma stares at her untouched meal tray, swallowing, unconvinced.

“I promise if you see Steven or Jake, you don’t have to be afraid of them, in fact…they help me when I’m scared…”

“Th-they do?” She stammers.

Marc gives her a look of certainty, nodding slowly with a warm hum of an, “Mhmm…”

“So they’re more like, angels then?” She asks hopefully.

Marc can’t help a soft but good natured laugh, “Yeah, kinda I guess…”

His laughter puts her more at ease. She nods in seeming understanding.

Marc eyes her tray, knowing it can’t possibly be good for her condition to not eat.

“I’ll eat three bites if you do?” He offers, strategically inserting a number of significance to the kind of spirituality that her brain seems fixated on.

Emma summons a deep breath and lets it out in a huff of a sigh through her nose, scowling at her plate.

But her brain deduces that three is a good number, like God. So she agrees.

Marc can just see the gears turning in her brain, and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been hoping using the number three specifically wouldn’t make her more inclined.

She reaches for her fork, stabbing at her eggs haphazardly. She gives him a questioning look when she raises the first bite to her mouth, waiting for the go ahead.

Marc nods and offers a quiet smile, likewise reaching to take a bite of his own.

Emma watches him carefully, waiting for him to do it with her.

As they take the bite together, in some indescribable way, it makes her trust him.

She takes the second bite more easily, doing so without him but still keeping an eye on him to make sure he’ll eat too.

She’s not sure if angels eat human food, but her logic is that if it’s good for her to eat, it must also be good for him. And despite everything, she wants so badly to help him too.

Marc takes a sip of orange juice and then repeats the bite from before.

This affirms to her that he keeps his promises and she takes the final bite.

‘Nicely done, Marc—think she’s starting to like you…’ Steven tells him more genuinely this time, the grin in his voice evident.

Marc likewise can’t keep another light smile from his lips as he finishes his own third bite.

It doesn’t even occur to him, that in this moment, he’s all but completely forgotten the real reason he’s here.

20 notes · View notes

xthexsanctuaryx · 25 days ago

Text

{ i'll follow you into the dark }

➳ PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

{ summary: } emma and steven talk and the boys find out more about her. a plan is hatched...hopefully... { pairing: } | eventual | original character { emma harper } x steven grant, emma harper x jake lockley, && emma harper x marc spector { contents: } mental hospitals, psychiatric hold, angst { I guess? I don’t know what else to call it. }, hurt/comfort-esque vibes { warnings: } severe mental illness { psychosis, hallucinations, depression }, main character is actively in psychosis, I’ve done my best to write it in the least triggering way but there are a lot of heavy themes that will take place in this series, so forewarning. mental hospitals. typical misunderstanding and misinterpretation that comes with psychosis. due to the nature of emma’s psychosis, things are very unhealthily skewed in a religious context. triggering themes related to the aforementioned, vague mentions of abuse { author’s note: } after I finished reading "tear down my reason" by @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction it inspired me to work on an idea I’ve been playing with about emma and the boys meeting while both in a mental hospital at the same time. I wanted to write a series that would help other people with severe mental illness feel seen and heard as there really aren't works out there like this, especially not actually written by people with firsthand experience of things like psychosis. this series is being written with a lot of love and care so I truly hope that it can be cathartic for those who read who might also live with mental illness because you DO matter and your stories DO deserve to be told. { word count: } 924 { taglist: } @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @sub-aro

Emma plays with her fingers lightly some more, chewing on her lower lip as she looks at Steven.

Steven who – despite himself – can’t seem to stop himself from looking back at her with a soft, almost lovesick expression over his features. Almost – he lies to himself.

“You’re not American—like the others…” Emma observes.

It snaps Steven out of his thoughts.

“Oh—no, no—not really, I suppose…”

Emma nods, “I didn’t know angels could be British…”

“Oh I’m not—I mean—we—we’re not angels, love…”

Emma shakes her head, “I think you are…”

Steven has to once again try to stop himself from melting. He doesn’t intentionally want to confuse her but the words slip out before he can do anything about it.

“The only angel here is you.”

Emma frowns slightly, trying to piece it together in her struggling mind.

There’s a soft chuckle in his head from Jake, as Marc calls to him. ‘Steven, she’s gonna take you literally, buddy…’

“Right—sorry—I didn’t mean literally, love—I was just—well I s’pose I was just trying to—give you a compliment.” He corrects himself.

This only causes her to flush, looking away as she openly tries not to smile. A soft, “oh” escaping her lips.

Her mind seems to shift quickly, her expression saddening, a pout at her lips.

“What happens when we leave this place?”

Steven is somewhat caught off guard when she seems to take a dip emotionally. His chest tightening.

“Well—they release us and we get to go home…”

Emma only looks more troubled.

“What if I don’t want to go home?”

“Sorry?”

‘Keep her talking, Steven…’ Jake speaks up, just having a feeling something isn’t right by her response. ‘I wanna know what we’re up against.’

“Why don’t you want to go home, angel?”

She swallows roughly, her arms slipping around herself to hug her middle as if trying to hold herself together at the question. She shakes her head quickly, avoiding eye contact.

There’s a round of Spanish cursing in his head.

‘She’s completely shutting down—find out what you can, Steven.’ Marc’s voice tightens.

“D’you live alone?” He asks softly.

Emma shakes her head again, releasing a strained exhale.

“Is there someone at home that makes you feel—unsafe?”

Emma is quick to nod, hugging herself tighter.

“But you’re safe here—well maybe not here exactly—but right now, with, with us—you know that?”

She nods again.

“Good girl,” he says softly, searching out her eyes.

“D’you have a partner—that makes you feel unsafe?”

Jake is already cursing again, ‘I’ll fucking kill him…’

Emma shakes her head again, attempting to speak, “my—my m-mom…”

A shock goes through their system, a quiet, ‘oh baby…’ escaping from Marc.

“Your mum, makes you feel unsafe?” Steven seeks confirmation.

Emma nods quickly again, sniffling and squeezing her eyes shut as tears burn at them.

She tries to find the words, “if I have to go back home—does that mean—does that mean I’m going to hell?”

‘She did not just compare her home to hell…’ Marc seethes.

Steven moves closer, slowly so as not to scare her, showing her his hands before he brings them to cradle her face. He waits for her eyes to meet his, brushing away the tears the fall. “You’re not going to go to hell, love…”

‘We can’t let her go back there.’ Marc cuts in darkly.

‘I’m working on it, hermano…’ Jake agrees.

Emma falls into almost silent breathless sobs, her body trembling.

“Fuck the rules…” Steven mutters before protectively pulling her into his arms.

Emma immediately clings to him, because she does feel safer when they’re around. Safer than she’s maybe ever felt with anyone else.

She holds onto him as long as she can, everything seeming to slow down even for the moment.

‘We need to find out where she lives—’ Marc cuts through the silence.

‘We don’t even know her last name, Marc—and we can’t just ask her for her address…’

‘I don’t trust her mother—especially not in her current state. Hell, she could be the reason Emma went into psychosis in the first place.’

‘Steven.’ Jake interjects.

Steven smoothes over Emma’s hair, holding her against himself. When he pulls back, he cradles her face with one hand.

“What if—when we get out of this place—we came to see you?” He pauses, looking her over softly and speaking quietly. “Would that be alright, love?”

Emma nods quickly, screwing her fist in her eye as she pouts.

“We’ll give you our number, yeah? And you can just call us when you want to see us…” He brushes his thumb over her cheek.

Again, she nods vigorously, holding up a finger but not speaking as she disappears into her room for a moment.

He gives her a puzzled look, waiting for her to come back.

When she returns, she hands him a piece of paper that she’s scribbled her name and phone number on.

Steven only brightens, speaking softly so as not to overwhelm her.

“Emma Harper—that’s you?” He says fondly.

She gives a soft sob of a laugh, nodding again.

Taking the paper back, pen still in hand, she flips it over against a wall and scrawls her address on the back. She then hands it back.

“Thank you…” He says, giving her a gentle smile as he finds her eyes again.

‘Very good, Steven.’ Jake voices proudly in their headspace as Marc breathes a sigh of relief.

7 notes · View notes