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Structurally, Heathcliff in its present form is just shitty referential meme humour where 90% of the time the punchline is "laugh because you recognise this reference", except the memes it's referencing exist only in the author's head, which explains basically everything about why Tumblr is into it.

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evil columbo

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Don’t make me put your ass in the sealbarrow

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everyone saying "art doesn't need to be perfect" hasn't taken into account the art monster, the monster that comes and kills you if art doesn't look exactly like it did in your head

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I saw this on Facebook and had to look it up. It really happened, albeit the details are different. From Homesteading Space: The Skylab Story:

"On the evening of MD-46, I finally played the trick that had been in work for over two month," said Garriott. "It even had the flight controllers puzzled for twenty-five years! My objective was to pretend that my wife, Helen, had come up to Skylab to bring us a hot meal, even though this was an obvious impossibility. Here is how the scheme worked. I recorded her voice on my small hand-held tape recorder before flight, pretending to have a brief conversation with a Capcom, with time gaps for his replies. The Capcom would be my only accomplice, but his role would be carefully disguised.

It was also necessary to have some recent event mentioned to validate the currency of the dialogue, so it would seem it could not have been recorded before fight. The short dialogue is printed below in its entirety. I knew that both Bob Crippen and Karl Henize were going to be Capcoms for Skylab, so they were brought into the planning, given the script and rehearsed on their timing. They kept the short script on a piece of paper in their billfolds, awaiting the right moment.

"For our flight in August-September, there would be many occasions of natural disasters involving forest fires or hurricanes, which would be widely known throughout the United States. So a few comments about one or the other were made on the tape. This led to four different scripts being recorded, one for each of the two Capcoms and one each for the two natural events. I would play the tape on the normal air-to-ground voice link with my wife's recorded voice and the Capcom would respond as if totally surprised by the female interloper."

Near the end of one period of voice contact Garriott said to the ground, "I'll have something for you on the next pass, Bob." Crippen replied, "Roger that, Owen." Then quietly and surreptitiously, he reviewed the brief script that had been in his pocket for all these weeks. Soon after coming into voice range, the ground heard this voice on the standard air-to-ground link:

Skylab (a female voice): "Gad, I don't see how the boys manage to get rid of the feedback berween these speakers.... Hello Houston, how are you reading me down there? (s sec. pause) Hello Houston, are you reading Skylab?"

Capcom: "Skylab, this is Houston. We heard you alright, but had difficulty recognizing your voice. Who do we have on the line up there?"

Skylab: "Hello Houston. Roger. Well I haven't talked with you for a while. Isn't that you down there, Bob? This is Helen, here in Skylab. The boys hadn't had a good home cooked meal in so long, I thought I'd bring one up. Over"

Capcom: "Roger, Skylab. Someone's gotta be pulling my leg, Helen. Where are you?"

Skylab: "Right here in Skylab, Bob. Just a few orbits ago we were looking down on those forest fires in California. The smoke sure covers a lot of territory, and, oh boy, the sunrises are just beautiful! Oh oh..... See you later, Bob. I hear the boys coming up here and I'm not supposed to be on the radio."

"Then quiet returned to the voice link, but we were told later, Bob Crippen had lots of questions coming his way in the Control Center," Garriott said. "What was going on? Where was this voice coming from? Bob must have been a very good actor, because he claimed complete ignorance and innocence of how it happened. Everyone heard it coming down on the air-to-ground loop. The whole two-way conversation sounded like a perfectly normal dialogue. No breaks or gaps, and they all heard Bob respond in real time. Could I have recorded Helen's voice on a 'family conversation' from our home? Yes, but there was no recent one. How would she have known about the fires, or who was to be on Capcom duty and how could she respond to Bob's comments in real time, as everyone could hear?

"No one ever worked out how this was accomplished. Finally, at our twenty-fifth reunion celebration in Houston in 1998, and with many of the flight directors and controllers present and still with no clue as to how it was done, I described it all as above. My prejudiced opinion is that this was the best 'gotcha' ever perpetrated on our friendly flight controllers!"

Crippen recalled: "That was kind of a fun trick. There was head rubbing.

Everybody in the MOCR, or the control room, was looking like, What the hell is going on?' We did a good job. It was fun. Working those missions got to be tough. We did all kinds of things to try to come up with levity. That was a nice one that the crew got that the ground control didn't know about."

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@importantcatpics

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Something really violent about eating a burrito. Biting a hole in that thing. A sandwich or a taco is different, it's already open, but a well-wrapped burrito is like a complete living thing in your hand, the taut skin protecting a complex network if internal organs. And you put a hole in it, maul it for sustenance, like a wolf on the open plain tearing the throat from a living gazelle. Or perhaps like a guy living in an infested apartment catching a white rat in his hands and just biting into it.

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hey, don't cry. superb dog-day cicada, ok?

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Just learned about recency bias, coolest thing ive ever learned about lol

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Top ten medieval animal illustrations in manuscripts

(vibrating intensely with barely repressed excitement) yeah sure that sounds like something i could do

FIRST PRIZE GOES TO:

(from a french book of hours, c. 1400s)

sad mandolin-playing cat with its vulva out. i love this cat so much. i have a picture of it on my wall and one time i thought about it while i was high and it made me laugh so hard that i nearly threw up. sad mandolin-playing cat with its vulva out is my favourite medieval animal; there is no contest, nothing comes close.

SECOND PRIZE:

(from the gorleston psalter, east anglia, angland, c. 1310-24)

i'm a really big fan of weapon-wielding rabbits in medieval art. it was hard to pick just one, but i eventually chose this guy: a gleeful rabbit getting ready to whang the king's head off with a big axe (king's expression suggests forlorn resignation).

drolleries of murderous rabbits crop up a lot in 13th and 14th-century manuscripts - sometimes jousting, sometimes overseeing executions, sometimes riding into battle on the backs of other animals - and it's generally thought to be a form of carnivalesque comic subversion, upending the stereotype of the rabbit as a meek, docile prey animal. there's a fun article about rabbits in medieval art here, if you want to see some more examples.

THIRD PRIZE:

from Der naturen bloeme, the netherlands, c. 1350)

i think this is supposed to be a mussell, but God, just look at him. he's perfect. ideal body, peak performance, no notes.

as for the remaining 7:

4. crows holding a Very Important Meeting

5. old (mer)man yaoi. well actually i don't know what's going on here but it seems intimate

6. forg

7. distressed lion receiving a manicure

8. a brave attempt at an elephant

9. happy little bat :3

10. the oldest cat you have ever seen

i hope you enjoy these beafts as much as i do!!

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fun fact about languages: a linguist who was studying aboriginal languages of Australia finally managed to track down a native speaker of the Mbabaram language in the 60s for his research. they talked a bit and he started by asking for the Mbabaram word for basic nouns. They went back and forth before he asked for the word for “dog” The man replied “dog” They had a bit of a “who’s on first” moment before realizing that, by complete coincidence,  Mbabaram and English both have the exact same word for dog.

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Wikipedia is lost to our friends across the waters.

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boss makes a dollar i make a dime that's why i steal company time

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Hey, remember me? We spawned into beginner village together! You reclassed to Archmage? That’s awesome, don’t you have to get to like, level 60 for that? …Huh? Oh, haha, well, no not really, you know how it is with us village kids. Dropped out of the main questline like, way back. I just sort of play to fish, I’m not very good at combat. I’m doing okay for myself though, I caught a Sea Bass the other day that sold for 10g! Oh, um, sorry, didn’t mean to— no, it’s okay, i get it, daily dungeons are like, super important. It was really nice to see you again