tailhitch

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yikes.

I hope you're happy @squad-724 and @helloyesthisisdilophsaurus

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Well, then the droid does belong to you.

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A relationship between Dante devil and bayonetta would work as such, they’d meet it be incredibly passionate, they’d get married way too fast ugly divorce (bayonetta took the jukebox since Dante’s broke) both would still wear their rings even after the divorce, and everytime they see each other it would end up with a destroyed room destroyed bed, both of them naked and covered in sweat. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk

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Happy 25th birthday to htf or whatever merry Christmas.

God I miss my friends

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What do I want for Christmas? My friends back and to enjoy htf properly again, to enjoy using this app again.

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AU where the Matrix allows it's bearer to speak to Primes of the past

But also Primes of other worlds, other realities, with wisdom they need or do not have for their own home.

Imagine please, a young Orion who sees visions when the Matrix first binds itself to him, of many different versions of himself.

A version of himself in a world where he was no great warrior, just a humble repair worker, who stumbled onto fate accidentally with his crew, working hard to make something of himself.

A version of himself tutored by the Scribe, who was a friend to his greatest enemy, who's words were his sword.

A version of himself, or at least part of himself, bound to a descendant of his people, or perhaps even ancestor, who's form is that of a beast.

A version of himself, marred by war and betrayals by humanity, but still trying to hold on. Still trying to just keep his family alive.

A version of himself, who is brand new to this planet called 'Earth' still, and beginning to bond with humans. One who accepts that Cybertron cannot be home now, but maybe Earth can.

And each version of himself he sees, he can seek wisdom from.

And they too can seek out his.

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What do you think when bayverse Optimus Prime is called a psychopath/military criminal?

Well, I say… yes and no.

Yes, ripping faces and spines about of bodies is hella violent, but also, at what point in a war do you start to ask, “do I want to be moral, or do I want to live?” And this kinda ties into my last post about TFP! and Bay! Optimus. Sure, he could be considered a war criminal in human standards, I feel we could all agree that is the case, but a Phycopath? Not really? There is no time for mercy, no hope of diplomacy. Literally every fight he get into, he or someone he cares about gets hunted down and brutalized like a wild animal. At some point, fight or flight response kicks in and using blades is so much faster than trying to just shoot an apponant like in TFP, and it spares bullets that he might run out of like seen in Age of Extinction. Would you like to talk or injure an enemy that is still able to kill you with three others on your ass, while trying to take care of these little squishy creatures you’ve pledged your life to protect? Or rip a head off and have the immediate threat neutralized? And that doesn’t even go into this guy’s day-to-day life. He is surrounded by death and destruction, and has been for millions of years. MILLIONS. WW1 was a couple of years long and absolutely haunted the world’s generations afterward. It fundamentally changed the way humans looked at the world, looked at each other and expressed themselves. Could you imagine if a human war went on for MILLIONS of years? How would he be any different then any other in that situation? If anything, he’s quite tame, keeping his diplomacy with the humans and a tenderness for the life around him. Could you imagine if he had simply lost his shit and stopped caring anymore? He’s trying, man. It also doesn’t help that EVER SINGLE BATTLE is initiated in the middle of a metropolis. Michael Bay wanted a set piece and didn’t think a desert or something would work, so hypothetically, he get’s basically called or lured into battle by his enemies in giant cities, so thousands of people die and things get destroyed because he can’t control where his foes start shooting.

In the end, I get the thought process- it seems super logical, and if he stopped thinking that way, then he is getting slaughtered by either the Decepticons or humans.

“Nowhere is safe and it’s either me or them.”

A war criminal to human standards? Yes. A Psychopath? Leaning towards no. Did it have to be as gruesome? Probably not, but it gets the job done, and that isn’t to say that he doesn’t go over the top, but who wouldn’t in that kind of situation?

Anyway, I hope my silly ramblings make sense. Thanks for the ask!

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Behold the most competent and badass Zelda incarnation out there

Wait wrong picture

There we go.

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Today is Tailhitch’s birthday as I created him 3 years ago, I’ll figure out a drawing tomorrow

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This was the image I saw

I saw a warhammer video on tiktok and I saw Adeline in it, and my first reaction was “wait is that Adeline?!”

Lmao what??? Which video?

Probably it's a fanart an artist on Twitter did time ago.

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So the new episode of htf contains the dumb ways to die characters. What implications does this have on the canon?

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Humans taught the Autobots and Decepticons slang, Shockwave is horrified

Okay silly idea, but like I can imagine after living on Earth for so long, the two armies have picked up a few quirks from humanity, like slang

But not just any slang, internet slang

After all, learning how to navigate the internet, getting distracted by cat videos, and memes, they got to learn a bunch of new words. They even started to use it in their daily lives

Much to Shockwave's horror

One video call between the Decepticon commanders was utter hell for Shockwave to comprehend

Shockwave: "What appears to be the problem?"

Megatron: "Starscream had to ruin our latest plan with his idiocy!"

Starscream: "Can you even blame me? I can't go out there without my drip!"

Shockwave: "Y-Your what?"

Megatron: "Don't start this Starscream!"

Megatron and Starscream start fighting while Shockwave tries to figure out what 'Drip' means.

This goes for the Autobots as well, one time he was listening to some audio of a meeting and could not comprehend what he just heard.

Ratchet: "Don't feel bad Skyfire, I'm sure Starscream will turn around."

Skyfire: "Yeah... I can't help it, he's my poor little meow meow."

Shockwave pauses the audio and tries to understand what "Little meow meow" means. He can feel his own circuits breaking.

But much to Shockwave's horror, it's spreading to the entire armies at an alarming rate.

Examples but not limited to

After Megatron finishes a speech, Lugnut screams, "YAAASSS QUEEEN!" And some of the Decepticons join in, Shockwave is terrified.

One time while having a meeting with Starscream, Starscream interrupts the meeting to watch his show.

Starscream: "Hold that thought Shockwave, the wig is about to be snatched and I can't miss this!"

Shockwave: "What is a wig?"

Reviewing one of the many battles, Shockwave noticed how many Autobots are screaming, "YEET" when they throw something. Even the stern Autobots like Optimus Prime or Ironhide are screaming, "YEET"

Unable to handle a single second of this weirdness, Shockwave investigates all these weird words and terms.

That's when he discovers that the humans themselves are teaching the Autobots and Decepticons slang in the internet.

To his horror, humanity isn't stopping and are showing them more

Shockwave: "Primus. Letting the two factions on the internet was a mistake"

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The Autobots and Decepticons have become part of Earth and the humans don't mind

So, a cuter idea than my usually shitpost ideas. But basically, imagine after being on Earth for so long that the Autobots and Decepticons come to see it as a second home.

And that humans can’t see Earth without these giant idiots.

Imagine after the mechs have gotten used to Earth and explored it, they've found places to have fun in or unwind. Sometimes, humans can catch a glimpse of them relaxing or goofing around.

Like on beaches, humans can catch Beachcomber and Bumblebee racing along the sand. Other times you can see the bots playing around in the water and having a great time.

Rarer is seeing the Decepticons chilling on the beach, usually sunbathing on rocks. Almost always, humans will see Starscream declaring himself leader if Megatron accidentally falls off the rock.

Other areas, humans will see certain mechs more often than others.

Such as big cities with towering skyscrapers, humans will see mechs that fly hanging around the area. Seeing them weave around the tall buildings, cling onto the buildings to have a bird's eye view, and just chill on rooftops.

It isn't uncommon to see the Command Trine flying around the city for exercise before taking a break on some helipad on a roof.

Sometimes on long winding roads where trucks are commonly found, humans have spotted Optimus Prime taking a morning drive. He'll even say "hello"

Even scrapyards and junkyards have reported mechs like Constructicons, scientific mechs like Perceptor and Wheeljack, even down to Starscream digging around for stuff.

Humans were at first freaked out by this like, giant robots running around who can level a building!

But after some time, humans have gotten used to them and don't really mind the mechs anymore.

There is an entire dedicated blog to that document sightings of both Autobots and Decepticons in areas. With photos of them doing just random stuff, relaxing, or straight up photobombing.

The top photo on the blog is of Starscream photobombing a fireworks show and wearing his coronation outfit. He looks super photogenic, and no one has any idea how he managed to do this.

Even now, when the mechs accidentally spotted on the livestreams or broadcasts humans are just nonchalant about it.

Like when the weatherman cuts to the live view of the area and the camera catches the mechs hanging around there

News Anchor: “Let’s see how it’s looking outside for the weather.”

Camera cuts to the live view, you can see Star, Warp, and TC flying about

News Anchor: “The weather is nice outside, and even you can see the Decepticons taking a nice flight".

Same thing with the mechs side, the Autobots and Decepticons have slowly become used to the humans. The Autobots are faster than the Decepticons but eventually the cons are okay with humans.

They don't mind if the humans come to watch them or take photos.

Though some makes will make sure they're the star of the photo, like a certain photobombing plane.

Much to Megatron's dismay. XD

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The Autobots and Decepticons are the bane of every paranormal investigator

Since its the spooky season, here is a spooky idea. XD

But like since the mechs can transform into regular vehicles or objects, moving around and even operating without anyone there.

Imagine poor paranormal investigators trying to do their job and find a ghost but it turns out to be nothing more than a mech in their disguise again XD

How did this start?

Well, during a Decepticon mission, Soundwave is collecting data or recording something for Megatron to use in his latest evil scheme. Soundwave is hiding out in this abandoned house close to the target area and was just minding his own business. Just being a little tape deck by the window.

Then came the paranormal investigators who came to the abandoned house and find a ghost. Not wanting them to interfere with his data collecting, Soundwave does everything to scare them, such as playing music when they pass by, projecting his voice, and such.

Of course, this goes badly since now the paranormal investigators think this is an actual ghost they found. Now they're setting everything up to chat with ghost and won't leave.

The investigators do everything to get the "Ghost" to chat with them, asking questions, trying to strike up a conversation, and even flirting. (Soundwave now knows of the corniest ghost pick up lines, much to his dismay)

Soundwave eventually had enough of it and flies in his tape deck form, scaring the investigators away. They leave their equipment behind and Soundwave is finally able to get his work done.

However, this incident it goes viral and now everyone is debating if the "blue tape deck ghost" is real or not.

This reaches the Decepticons who look at the embarrassed Soundwave. Soundwave tries to explain his reasoning, but Megatron thinks this is A BRILLIANT IDEA.

Megatron: "If we scare them, we'll be able to cause so much chaos and drive the Autobots crazy with our virality! Thus, we shall defeat them once and for all!"

Soundwave: "What."

Starscream: "I just think he wants an excuse to mess with people, which I don't mind."

So now, the Decepticons have made it their mission to mess with paranormal investigators. From Skywarp hiding in an abandoned hangar and teleporting when the investigators are not looking, to Motormaster driving by the investigators' cars in haunted areas.

Of course, they're captured on video and go viral, which does get the attention of the Autobots because like, "Why are you guys messing with humans?!"

Because like, why are they wasting time messing with people of all things when they could fight in the war.

So the Autobots try to deter the Decepticons' chaotic rampage of scaring people. Which gets things to snowball into something bigger as now the claims of "haunted vehicles fighting each other" are on the rise.

Of course, as time goes on the investigators do catch who are the Autobots and Decepticons. Which means the haunted stuff they recorded is just giant robots messing with them. Now they have to shift through so much recorded videos and photos of "haunted vehicles" to see which ones are the actual ghosts and who are just mechs.

Now whenever a new claim of "Haunted vehicle" or "haunted object" is thrown out, a tired paranormal investigator would ask, "Did you check if it was an Autobot or Decepticon?" because almost always its either one of them XD