talkofshame

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thx for the memories, talkofshame dot tumblr dot com!

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Birds-eye view of the reminder that I'm completely typical

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Nick found the greatest shirt sorry other shirts!!! (at The Grove)

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Just went into a stranger's bathroom and forgot to check behind the shower curtain so I guess this is goodbye.

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sure why not

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Who do you most identify with in "Cheers"?

a) Sam

b) Diane

c) Norm and/or Cliff

d) Woody and/or Coach

e) The Woman in Tweed Who Always Orders White Wine

f) Carla

g) Rebecca

h) The Crazy Ex

i) Frasier

j) Lillith

k) The Uncomfortable Native American Person-Shaped Coat Rack

l) The Regular Who Doesn’t Realize He’s Not on the Same Level as Cliff and Norm

m) The Triangle Bell Hanging Aimlessly Over the Bar Just Waiting for a Special Occasion

k) The Aspiring Writer Who Compulsively Asks People If They’re Into This “Cheers” Show Even Though She Was Born After It Premiered

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“Banned to WHERE?!” she cried, frantically clicking through. (She had recently bought coconut seltzer and dived into the Kirstie Alley era of “Cheers,” so she was feeling particularly stupid and vulnerable.)

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Yeaaaaah you are

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Today's lesson: I am not to be fucked with.

If I can simultaneously put a bobby pin in my hair AND stab myself full-on in the face with my thumbnail so hard I draw blood, fall off my chair into my bookshelf and knock the third Game of Thrones book I read 150 out of 1000 pages of because I didn’t feel like waiting for the next season to find out what happened to Sansa Stark onto my head, just imagine what kind of damage I could do if I TRIED.*

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Bar Stranger: Oh yeah, Parks and Recreation is great.

Me: Ahhhh I LOVE Parks and Rec SO MUCH. So much!! I can't believe we're missing the wedding right now.

Bar Stranger: Wedding?

Me: Ben and Leslie's wedding!

Bar Stranger: ....

Me: You know, Leslie and Ben? Leslie...Knope? And Ben Wyatt?

Bar Stranger: ......

Me: They're getting married tonight. And I think she's wearing a newspaper dress made out of Pawnee Suns, how PERFECT IS THAT?!

Bar Stranger: .........

Me: ............

Bar Stranger: .................

Me: ..............so when you said Parks and Rec is great, you meant you've seen a few episodes and do NOT make a habit of putting its major life events in your calendar?

Bar Stranger: That is correct.

Me: Cool, me too.

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This is an adorable family taking pictures outside the Full House row of houses because sometimes life conspires to kick you full-on in the ovaries. (at Alamo Square)

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I haven’t been writing on this blog lately because I didn’t think I had anything particularly hilarious to say, and sometimes the rule of the Internet seems to be “if you have nothing funny to say, then don’t say anything at all.” I haven’t been writing here lately because I felt like my issues weren’t particularly interesting, or insightful, or inspiring. I haven’t been writing because sometimes, I’ll write a thousand sentences but delete every single one before moving on to the next, because sometimes, doubt is more powerful than imagination and it swallows pages whole.

So I don’t think I have anything new to say about my childhood dog being put to sleep today. I know she lived a good life, and we were lucky to have her, and she probably had a better time than 99% of humans, but today I don’t care if that’s not new information because today all I feel is completely, deeply sad, and writing is the only way I know how to think about at it at all. Today is a day when I sit in a bar at noon wondering about 3000 miles away, and whether she’s gone yet, or if she's still waiting to go. Today is a day I stop using the present tense, and start with the past, and try with everything I have not to think about the future. And writing is the only way I know how to do that.

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Justin Timberlake - Mirrors 

is it weird for jessica biel when she and justin timberlake have sex to justin timberlake?

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Football Players Sitting Alone In Confetti dot Tumblr dot com

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Reading some Julian Assange stuff.

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I didn't know what to get "Ignition (Remix)" for its tenth birthday today so I just got it my undying love and devotion.

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Did I forget to mention that time I went back to work and found the single boot I'd been missing for a month on my desk?