tallieeepony-blog

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W̹͚͈H̖̳͈̮͕̣A̵͕͖̱̝̱ͅT̸͚͚͉ ͖͈̪͕͇̯D̛ͅI͕̭̲̙̙̙̼D̙̪̖͉̖̰ ̧͙̩Y̠̫͈͘O͍̥͉̳̳U̹̤ D̦̭Ǫ̘̱̱͎ ̛̞T̶O̰̜ ͇̘̕M̸̜̭Y̲ ͕̮̤D͙͇̠̬̦̣͢ͅR͓̻I̜͖̫͎N̸̙̮͓K͈͚̙̭͕

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Tony insulting Cap by telling him that “the only thing special about him came out of a bottle” is a far more devastating insult when you remember Tony is a recovering alcoholic.

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Tall cat vs. a pile of cat [via]

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Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Woman: I can’t do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am? Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The first officer is stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

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Magic card trick reactions. [video]

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For the sake of my sanity, I’m going to pretend there is absolutely no possible pervy motivation behind this question.

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for RedLightningPony

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A Second Time Around

A request from RedLightningPony on dA

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♥ su @weheartit.com - http://weheartit.com/link/GiH7fu

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cybergirllfriend:

lnvaded:

i-was-like-wtf:

liddoshane:

self0bsession:

invokes:

OMG i just found the hottest girl on tumblr

her link’s here

can he just get in my bed

jesus christ she brings joy to my eyes

oh my god her blog is perf

MY OVARIES

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no but when i type this face ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and my computer realizes the nose/mouth character isn’t a word it does the red squiggly underline

and it looks like lipstick

hay gurl

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