tealoatmeal01

[tealoatmeal01]

Don't Look Up (2021) dir. Adam McKay

[tealoatmeal01]

[tealoatmeal01]

I will miss your sense of humor and those wonderful photos

Our hearts are broken today to hear that Adventuress Debra Smith has passed away. Debra has long been a pillar of the Miss Fisher community and a fierce friend to everyone in the fandom. We will miss her terribly.

[tealoatmeal01]

Guess what? Normal people make mistakes all. The. Fucking. Time. This is a secret my parents didn't teach me growing up, and I bet yours didn't either. But it's true. Humans aren't that great at avoiding messing things up. It's what we do. We miss things. We forget things. We make errors in judgment even when something should've been obvious.

I was raised to think that if you're smart enough and pay attention you can avoid making mistakes. If you mess up, it's a character flaw and you should be ashamed of yourself. Berated. Punished.

This is a terrible mentality to live by. I cringe when I see my parents perpetuate this by harshly criticizing others for honest, everyday mistakes. Yeah, some things would be avoidable if you chose differently. But you in that moment were just a person and honestly, shit just happens. People lose their wallets. People scrape their tires on the curb. People forget to write down appointments and use leftovers. People knock their drinks over. People misunderstand or struggle to follow instructions.

I used to get abused over that shit and it took a very long time to come around and realize I was never uniquely stupid or clumsy. It's just how people are. Maybe there are very capable people who rarely mess up, but they're not the majority of folks.

[tealoatmeal01]

a while ago i attended this lecture on autism. guy in the audience said he had many of the symptoms that were presented and asked what should he do to get treatment and possibly a diagnosis. instead of answering his question the psychologist went on a tangent about how “the clinic reigns all powerful over guesswork”, and how actually it has become a trend amongst little children on the internet to claim that they are autistic for cool points, and that this hurts real autistic people. no she didn’t tell him how to get his symptoms looked into, she just made it very clear that to her, aknowledging your own symptoms is bad and evil and hurts the poor real mentally ill people.

an ex-friend of mine, then a psychology major and by now probably a full psychologist, once lectured me on how horrible and bad it was that i told her “i probably have some sort of neurodivergency”, and that if i were her patient she would never give me a diagnosis because “you aren’t like this now, but i know that if you get a diagnosis you’ll use it as an excuse to start treating people badly. that’s just how mentally ill people are.”

same ex-friend was extremely disgusted when she found out that fans sometimes make neurodivergency headcanons for characters that have the same symptoms as they do, and that authors sometimes write books with neurodivergent protagonists in stories that don’t focus on that (ex: she seemed horrified that percy jackson has adhd?)

multiple psychologists i’ve seen on facebook agree that they should refuse to treat patients that say “i’m here because i have symptoms of a disorder and wonder if i have it”, and that a patient should arrive to a psychologist as a blank slate.

school psychologist asked me how i was feeling about my trauma situation and i told him i thought my friends would leave me. instead of addressing the issue he said that that no i didn’t, that i was lying, that i had searched “bpd symptoms” online and now i was faking symptoms because i wanted to have bpd, that he shouldn’t have told me he suspected i had a personality disorder because now look what was happening. no, i didn’t search bpd symptoms online. yes, my friends left me, it was a completely founded belief and not a symptom, let alone a faked symptom.

so the next time you hear someone saying they’re “anti self-diagnosis” i want you to understand what they’re saying. what they’re saying is:

- i don’t want people to be aware of their own symptoms

- i don’t think my patients should have access to any information that doesn’t come from me

- i don’t think neurodivergent people should learn how to cope with their symptoms and live “normal” lives

- i think neurodivergent people should be denied a diagnosis because the moment they get one they will become evil and dangerous

- i don’t think people who don’t look like a stereotype could possibly be neurodivergent, even if they have all the symptoms, so i think they are faking it for attention and should be denied treatment

[tealoatmeal01]

Just want to Rant I called 3 supervisors at work to let them know I was sick and not ONE said a word about it. How come it’s my fault when other people don’t do their jobs?

[tealoatmeal01]

I am SO fucking sick of "shock" endings.

SPOILERS for the British version of "Professor T," Season 3.

.

.

So. I've been only moderately interested in the crime drama Professor T. I only watched it because Ben Miller plays the titular character, and I loved him in Death in Paradise. So far I haven't really enjoyed the series, because it's yet another attempt to amp up the quirkiness factor of the main character in a detective series in a not very likeable way. He's Monk, really, but with plastic gloves.

Anyway I tuned in to the Season finale just because I was cynically curious how they would end the season. I was already pissed about what they'd done with his ex-lover, DCI Christina Brand, who allowed the already fucked up professor to go to jail rather than reveal the truth which would have cost her her job. After he'd been there for a while and was on trial for attempted murder she finally confessed and quit. Asshole.

I was stupid enough to allow the finale to raise my hopes. Jasper learns the truth about his father's death, reconciles with his mother enough to peel off his ever-present gloves, and to cry and feel happy. Meanwhile, DS Dan Winters proposes to DS Lisa Donckers and she accepts. Huzzah! Happy endings all round!

But this is British TV. They don't do happy endings. (Looks like this story arc was part of the original Belgian series. If so, fuck you Belgium.)

In a nutshell, this happens to DS Lisa Donckers.

So she's run over and dies slowly, and Jasper arrives just in time to witness his protege's dying gasps, and is so traumatized he puts his gloves back on, signalling that he is again separating himself from the world. And of course she hears her fiance's voice calling for her on the phone as she dies from being crushed by a car. And of course DS Winters arrives too late and there's the woman he'd asked to be his wife dead in the road.

Are we having fun yet?

The writers wanted the audience all happy for Jasper and looking forward to his full recovery from a terrible childhood, but oopsy do, they were just jerking us around. Fuck you and your Happy Ending, we can't have Healed Jasper because the series can only exist with an emotionally crippled, psychologically screwed up main character. We'll add new characters next season, but don't get too attached, because we may kill them off as well just to keep you on your toes.

Maybe some people like to play "Who Dies This Season?" I don't. I don't like books, movies, or TV series that mistake emotional manipulation for good storytelling.

I miss Richard Poole . . . Oh. Wait. They killed him off, too. They didn't have to kill him. They could have just had him return to London, to his roast beef, perfect tea, and the snug in his local. But nooooo. It's funner if the character the audience luvs diiiieeeess.

[tealoatmeal01]

An incomplete list of things that employers commonly threaten that are 100% illegal in the United States

"We'll fire you if you tell others how much you're making" The National Labor Relations Act of 1935 specifically protects employees who discuss their own wages with each other (you can't reveal someone else's wages if you were given that information in the course of work, but you can always discuss your own or any that were revealed to you outside of work duties)

"If we can't fire you for [discussing wages/seeking reasonable accommodation/filing a discrimination complaint/etc], we'll just fire you for something else the next day." This is called pretextual termination, and it offers your employer almost no protection; if you are terminated shortly after taking a protected action such as wage discussion, complaints to regulatory agencies, or seeking a reasonable accommodation, you can force the burden onto your employer to prove that the termination wasn't retaliatory.

"Disparaging the company on social media is grounds for termination" Your right to discuss workplace conditions, compensation, and collective action carries over to online spaces, even public ones. If your employer says you aren't allowed to disparage the company online or discuss it at all, their social media policy is illegal. However, they can forbid releasing information that they're obligated to keep confidential such as personnel records, business plans, and customer information, so exercise care.

"If you unionize, we'll just shut this branch down and lay everyone off" Threatening to take action against a group that unionizes is illegal, full stop. If a company were to actually shut down a branch for unionizing, they would be fined very heavily by the NLRB and be opening themselves up to a class-action lawsuit by the former employees.

"We can have any rule we want, it's only illegal if we actually enforce it" Any workplace policy or rule that has a "chilling effect" on employees' willingness to exercise their rights is illegal, even if the employer never follows through on any of their threats.

"If you [protected action], we'll make sure you never work in this industry/city/etc again." Blacklisting of any kind is illegal in half the states in the US, and deliberately sabotaging someone's job search in retaliation for a protected action is illegal everywhere in the US.

"Step out of line and you can kiss your retirement fund/last paycheck goodbye." Your employer can never refuse to give you your paycheck, even if you've been fired. Nor can they keep money that you invested in a retirement savings account, and they can only claw back the money they invested in the retirement account under very specific circumstances.

"We'll deny that you ever worked here" not actually possible unless they haven't been paying their share of employment taxes or forwarding your withheld tax to the government (in which case they're guilty of far more serious crimes, and you might stand to gain something by turning them in to the IRS.) The records of your employment exist in state and federal tax data, and short of a heist that would put Oceans 11 to shame, there's nothing they can do about that.

[tealoatmeal01]

I keep reading about everyone being really upset over Neville’s departure from Death in Paradise but at least it’s open for the character to return. HE didn’t get stabbed in the chest with an ice pick! #deathinparadise #RichardPoole #hedeservedbetter

[tealoatmeal01]

FUTURAMA 4.05 “Leela’s Homeworld”

[tealoatmeal01]

🐬 Happy National Dolphin Day! 🐬

[tealoatmeal01]

Welcome to deathinparadise_server - a community discord server dedicated to the bbc series “death in paradise”!

want to join?  • please reblog this post • please follow all the rules outlined in the server  • must be following @dailydeathinparadise 

WELCOME to the server (x)

[tealoatmeal01]

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

[tealoatmeal01]

[tealoatmeal01]

Please finish your fics so many stories need completing

(text description in ALT and below the cut)

Based on some rumblings I heard, I ended up quickly throwing together a fun little WIP bingo sheet! I'll admit I largely wrote the prompts for writing, but I think a good number of them should also apply to art!

Ultimately, the goal is to have fun, and finish whatever WIPs you can (without burning yourself out or having a bad time). If you needed a sign to pick up that project you've been putting off, the time is now!

3x4 Bingo square titled "Finish your fucking fics february"

the top three across left to right read "Update your oldest WIP", "Finish a WIP that's been buried deep in your drafts", and "Finish a WIP that you haven't posted yet"

the second row reads "Finish a recent WIP", "Finish a WIP you're scared of" and "Finish a WIP that's been haunting you"

the third row reads "Update a partially posted WIP", "Finish any WIP/Free Space", and "Finish the next WIP in a series you've been avoiding"

the last row reads "Update your newest WIP", "Finish a WIP that's been ignored for at least 6 months", and "Finish the next chapter for a fic you've been meaning to for months"

[tealoatmeal01]

The scene where Richard tells Camille he loves her. Kinda.

I really hate that this takes place in Camille's imagination (because Richard is dead -- really REALLY pissed they killed him off because Ben Poole left the series; they could have kept him alive and have Poole return for cameos like other past cast members).

But it's Richard declaring his love to Camille, so I'll take it.

[tealoatmeal01]

Rule one of fandom: there are some things that only exist for us.

Don’t send actors fics

Don’t give them explicit art ever

Don’t tag them in rpf questions or theories

Don’t try to bring them into fandom drama of any kind

Don’t hold them responsible for what the producers and writers decide

They’re still people.  They have private lives, which do not include fandom.