technicallypleasanttree

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these are KILLING me

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my humor might be broken cause I find this trend actually funny

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They got her back in the middle of the turn up

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Im fucking DRY HEAVING at the energy Nico brought to the paddock this week, he's airing everyones business. First it was "Flavio's ugly ass invited me to his fuckass room for negotiations" and then he LITERALLY JUST SAW JAMES VOWELS AND WENT "I call you Vowels bc u called me Rosberg when were teammates... how shockingly impersonal is that u fucking rat ???? [takes deep breath for terrifyingly detailed analysis] [James tries to defend himself] "yes BUT I was sitting at your table??? I was yOuR fRiEnD aNd tEaMmAte🤨"

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was it casual when you said you would spend the entire night locked up in a team garage with me? was it casual when you said you don’t reply to the other 267 people on your phone but open my message immediately? was it casual when you featured me in every post-race photo dump? was it casual when you said my best quality was my lips? was it casual when we publicly admitted to committing credit card fraud together? was it casual when we called each other beautiful? was it casual when we wrote letters with hearts for each other and signed off with lots of love? was it casual when we cheated in our prema challenges together even though we had no reason to? was it casual when we showed up late to every meeting together? was it casual when we walked around the paddock with our hands on each others hips? was it casual when we talked about moving in together and cycling in monaco? was it casual when we posed for all our selfies pretending to kiss each other? was it casual when you said i had good looks? multiple times??? 

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Nico Rosberg calling Horner a great lobbyist, praising Laura Müller‘s excellent reputation and women in engineering, revealing contract talks with Briatore in his bedroom while being terrified of him, giving insider information over McLaren’s management changes leading to performance gains, mentioning Lewis Hamilton 2467 times, fielding a thousand questions about teammate rivalry and the “super interesting” Landoscar dynamic, calling Max the driver of the year performing “a work of art” while reminiscing about his past trauma in 2016 and glazing his Imola overtake, flat out telling Fred his car looked the most difficult and worst to drive before asking him how long Charles will wait for Ferrari to get their shit together (and don’t forget that“poor Lewis”), calling Kimi a generational talent like Verstappen or Hamilton, admitting to swallowing a microchip????, watching Yuki’s media pen interview and calling Max a “teammate killer”, saying there’s “a lot of blah blah blah” from every driver for downplaying the technical directive, glazing and comforting George in equal measure, calling Isack a star of the year and asking if Racing Bulls expected it (they didn’t) while low key telling him to run if Red Bull comes calling, hyping up Lando’s confidence levels post Monaco, saying that Nando would be a five time wdc if not for his career moves, and don’t forget “no I won’t help you Lewis Hamilton”- all the while knowing and explaining incredible amounts of wheel and being respectful to all drivers. And it’s only practice day.

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i love how every race nico rosberg commentates is just like. dramatic one-liner. extremely detailed technical and well researched wheel knowledge. insane f1 lore. even more insane gay f1 lore. cunty snide. love confession to lewis. more extremely detailed technical and well research wheel knowledge. marriage proposal to lewis.

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you guys need to start noting down everything he says cause there's a 99% chance he's right

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Whenever anything is not going his way, he lashes out with unnecessary anger and borderline violence.

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so no one finds it odd that the guy who was 20-4 down in qualifying last season, and, honestly, had no solid win that wasn't at the expense of his teammate... is now constantly winning races with a significant gap between him in first and the car in second? meanwhile the teammate who outperformed expectations in 2024, finished ahead, was p2 in the wdc standings and was the reason why mclaren really won that constructors, is struggling with the car (and still doing a damn great job at delivering)? no one is even sitting down to think 'that doesn't make any fucking sense' because it doesn't?

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I’ve seen people, even some “fans”, already trying to tear down Lando’s words as him making excuses but he’s right.

He is being forced.

They didn’t have to fuck with a perfectly good car and do this to him. At any point so far this season they could unfuck it for him, have even admitted to knowing where the problem is, but they haven’t.

His words should alarm any actual fan of his and anyone trying to say otherwise is not a real fan.

How is he even “making excuses?” He’s said many times this car is undriveable for him; Andrea Stella has even confirmed this car directly penalizes Lando's driving style while perfectly matching Oscar's preferred driving style. He's making no more excuses than the team principal, who anybody watching can see hates him to begin with, is. And the thing is — he hasn't even directly asked for a different car. He's asked for answers and help adapting, neither of which he's received thus far based off his answers to interview questions last weekend and neither of which I'd be willing to bet he receives this weekend either (or frankly any time in the future, for that matter).

I also think there are way too many gullible Lando fans falling for all this “McLaren team is family” bullshit. Like you said, no team with any common sense whatsoever designs a car around the driving style of their slower, less consistent driver who finished 82 pointers behind the other the year prior. But Stella hasn't been unbiased the entire time he's been at McLaren and told us last year the future was Oscar's, told several journalists Oscar was the driver they'd be pushing for WDC in 2025 and beyond. And Oscar is complicit in it — he's not some innocent bystander who could have never said, “Stop, I want to earn this on my own, not be gifted it,” but well — he couldn't even do that with race wins last year, so McLaren doing their damnedest to gift him a whole ass undeserved championship this year should come as a surprise to nobody.

So, now that that's out of the way, I do wholeheartedly agree with you, but I was implying something far more nefarious going on re: that “i’m being forced in a way — not being forced by anyone but in order to perform better i’m being forced to drive in a different manner that i’m not used to and that is not normal for me at all” statement.

We know Andrea uses Lando as his mouthpiece to avoid any team PR scandals — if Lando says it's okay to the team to abuse or mistreat him or force him to gift Piastri positions, that seems to make it okay in Stella's mind (see: Lando's comments after Hungary, Monza, etc.). We also all know there's a well-documented history of Andrea Stella coaching Lando's engineer into emotionally abusing him in Hungary, his own race engineer seemingly using the threat of “Andrea being pissed at him” last year to motivate him to stop the wheelspin if possible.

There are several drivers having driveability concerns or struggling to adapt to their current cars — Lewis and Carlos are big examples, yet I've never heard either of them even hint at “someone forcing them” to do anything, let alone seemingly rushing to avoid people reaching this conclusion. Like — nobody is going to assume a driver is being threatened into adapting to their cars if they just say, “i need to adapt” or “i need to drive it in a style completely different to my own.” adding in that whole “not forced by a person though haha why would anyone ever think that” bit just raises some red flags for me, as someone who has been well aware of how emotionally abusive and toxic that team has been for years now. quite literally NOBODY was going to think that, not even other drivers on the grid, if he just didn't mention that and kept his answer focused on his driving struggles (which he's done in every other interview he's had about this issue — until this weekend). it's just raising MANY red flags for me.

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lando norris: exists

Oldest Living F1 World Champion Jackie Stewart for some reason: is that my long lost grandson? 🥺

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mfs will really be like i can't sunday i have the race as if they're gonna drive in the goddamn race

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