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You: Weird flex but ok

Me, an intellectual:

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“all powerful entity falls head over heels for the first shit ass mcnobody who dared to call them a bitch to their face” is, perhaps not the absolute best trope but it’s definitely up there I’d say

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honestly can we talk about that scene in death note where L sends out a death row criminal to impersonate him on live TV, and Light responds by killing him and going “haha, i just killed your smartest detective, police!”, only for the real L to come on air and be like “hi yeah that wasn’t me….. that was a no-name criminal that you couldn’t have heard about in the news….. also this isn’t actually an international broadcast it’s only in the kanto region in japan…. so you must live there…. also now i know that you need a face and name to kill somebody… so you can’t kill me……. k bye” absolutely legendary. what a goddamn moment

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i genuinely do not think dogs, the loving goofballs that they are, would approve of people mercilessly shitting on cats for no reason other than the fact that they are not Dogs… you guys have learned nothing from the carefree teachings of the dog… they don’t want to be used to fuel your unwarranted hatred… what would your dog say… smh!

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So Tumblr is now auto-reblogging adverts onto my dash

If you see them, tell me and I’ll delete them. I don’t condone that shit

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2017 mood

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Do not punish the behaviour you want to see

I mean, it seems pretty obvious when you put it like that, right?

But how many families, when an introvert sibling or child makes an effort to socialize,  snarkily say, “So, you’ve decided to join us”?

Or when someone does something they’ve had trouble doing, say, “Why can’t you do that all the time?” (Happened to me, too often.)

Or any sentence containing the word “finally”. 

If someone makes a step, a small step, in a direction you want to encourage, encourage it. Don’t complain about how it’s not enough. Don’t bring up previous stuff. Encourage it.

Because I swear to fucking god there is nothing more soul-killing, more motivation-crushing, than struggling to succeed and finding out that success and failure are both punished.

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it’s so fucked up when you see something you KNOW is a portal to somewhere but you can’t figure out how to activate it. this is the most frustrating feeling that plagues modern man.

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Vegans of tumblr, listen up. Harvesting agave in the quantities required so you dont have to eat honey is killing mexican long-nosed bats. They feed off the nectar and pollinate the plants. They need the agave. You want to help the environment? Go back to honey. Your liver and thyroid will thank you, as well. Agave is 90% fructose, which can cause a host of issues. Bye.

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what the fuck

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sure i guess sex is okay but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper

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If you’re one of those people who thinks executive dysfunction only happens for things we don’t like (school, cleaning,) then please consider the fact that I’ve been meaning to plug my phone in for 20 minutes and I’m now at 2% and still putting it off to write this post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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I really … don’t know what the mom expected… I really do not

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truth coming out of her well to shame mankind (tumblr safe version)