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The Mane Mage

Pairing: Dani Rojas x GN!Reader

Summary: Dani takes great, intricate care with his hair, but he has plenty of time to adore you in between, even if you are constantly teasing him.

Warnings: None - pure fluff. Thank you to anon for the request!

You knew that Dani Rojas loved three things above all else in the world: playing football, spreading joy, and his hair. You most likely came before his hair. Probably. You hoped.

But when he padded out of the bathroom one Sunday morning with his curls pinned up in four immaculate butterfly clips, wearing a thick cloth headband and a deeply serious expression, you decided it was time to have some fun.

“Are you preparing for a bank robbery or a Herbal Essences advert?” you asked, peeking over your coffee mug with a smirk.

Dani didn’t even flinch. He sauntered into the kitchen like his hair wasn’t sectioned immaculately and opened the fridge, humming a tune quietly to himself.

“It is deep conditioning day,” he said, solemnly, like he was a monk on a pilgrimage.

You blinked. “Is that different from the usual... thirty-seven minute routine?”

Dani gasped, pressing his hand to his chest like you’d insulted him deeply. “It is very different,” he said. “Today is the coconut oil. And the aloe. And the little scalp massager I bought you for Valentine’s Day, remember?”

You narrowed your eyes. “You said that gift was for me.”

“It brings me joy,” Dani replied, smiling brightly. “So technically, still a gift for you!”

You set your mug down and leaned over the kitchen island, resting your chin in your palm. “Dani, love, be honest. Have you ever skipped training to finish your hair routine?”

He straightened up like you’d accused him of match-fixing. “Only once,” he admitted, regret laced in his tone. “But it was raining and Coach Beard said they were just watching tapes anyway.”

You laughed, covering your mouth as your shoulders shook. Dani just beamed at you, clearly proud of his choices. You loved how completely unashamed he was of caring—about his team, his friends, his plants, his hair. Dani was always sincere. It was honestly a little disarming, especially when he looked at you like you were his favorite part of every day.

Which made teasing him all the more fun.

“Okay,” you said, leaning back and drumming your fingers against your mug. “Talk me through the process again, Hair Wizard.”

Dani’s eyes lit up. “Step one,” he said, lifting a finger, “detangle. With the wide-tooth comb. Starting from the bottom—always. Gently.”

“Gently,” you repeated, nodding like a very serious student. All you needed was a notebook to scribble in.

“Then the pre-wash treatment. That’s when I do the oiling.”

You quirked a brow. “The coconut oil?”

“And argan. It’s a mix. I warm it with my hands.” Dani mimed it with a dramatised flourish, like a magician about to pull a rabbit from a hat.

You couldn’t help laughing again. “You know, most people just... shampoo, maybe condition, and go.”

“Most people,” Dani said, stepping close, “do not have hair that bounces like this.”

He leaned down so his curls brushed your cheek. They were soft, shiny, and smelling faintly of something tropical.

You tilted your head and pretended to inspect it. “Okay, I’ll admit, that’s... very bouncy.”

“Thank you,” Dani said proudly, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. “You mock me, but one day, you will thank me. Your scalp will thank me. Even Coach Beard will thank me.”

You squinted confusedly. “Is Coach Beard secretly doing this routine too?”

“I will neither confirm nor deny,” he said solemnly, and you chuckled into your drink.

You watched Dani flit around the kitchen, humming, towel still around his shoulders, clips still clamped in place. You loved this version of Dani, when he was unbothered, relaxed, barefoot and soft in the morning light. The public saw the unstoppable footballer, the human golden retriever. But this was the Dani you got to keep for yourself—the one who put orange slices in your water because “hydration should be beautiful,” and who kissed you like he had all the time in the world.

You stood and walked over to him, tugging lightly on one of the butterfly clips. “What happens if I mess up the sections?” you teased. “Will your hair turn against you?”

Dani turned to you slowly, dramatically, a rare frown on his lips. “If you mess up the sections then the conditioner goes everywhere.”

“That doesn’t sound like a real issue.”

He leaned in, nose almost touching yours, eyes squinted almost like he was challenging you to grab a clip. “Last time I messed up the routine, a curl got caught in my zip-up and I cried at training.”

You blinked. “That’s... actually tragic.”

“I know.” Dani leaned in and rested his forehead against yours, eyes crinkling with a grin. “It was the left side. My best side.”

You giggled and kissed the tip of his nose. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You love me,” he said easily, grinning.

“Unfortunately,” you murmured against his mouth. “Yes. Very much.”

That afternoon, you found yourself lounging on the couch while Dani sat cross-legged on a towel in front of you, his head tipped back into your lap as you helped rinse out the conditioner. He’d insisted it was ‘a bonding experience’.

“Besides,” Dani said, as you gently raked your fingers through his hair with a cup of warm water, “you always say my hair is like silk after.”

“Because it is,” you admitted, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Annoyingly so. I’m starting to think you have fairy godmother genetics.”

“Maybe I am the fairy godmother,” he whispered dramatically, and you giggled, flicking water at him.

You worked in silence for a bit, just the sound of the water and the occasional coo of appreciation from Dani (‘You have magic hands,’ ‘I am reborn,’ ‘Please never stop doing that’). Dani looked so at peace, eyes closed, smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. You felt a warmth spread in your chest that had nothing to do with the steam coming from the cup of hot water in your hand.

“I think your hair might be sentient,” you murmured. “Like a beautiful, curly alien that chose you.”

Dani grinned wider, eyes still closed. “That would explain so much. Why it grows so fast, why the birds like me.”

You laughed. “Is this your superpower? Perfect hair and irresistible charm?”

“No,” he said, finally cracking one eye open to look up at you. “You are my superpower.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to fight the blush rising to your cheeks. “That was cheesy.”

Dani sat up and turned to face you, curls dripping, eyes sparkling. “But you love cheese.”

You reached for a towel and started blotting his curls gently. “I love you, you menace.”

Dani smiled and leaned in, pressing his nose against yours. “I love you more.”

Later, when you were curled up together on the couch, Dani in a hoodie two sizes too big, you wearing his old training shirt, you reached up and toyed with one of his still-damp curls.

“You know,” you said, “I think I finally get it.”

“Get what?” he murmured, eyes half-closed with sleep.

“The hair thing. It’s not just about the curls. It’s about joy. Ritual. Care.”

He turned his face into your shoulder, smiling. “Exactly. See? My methods are wise.”

You kissed his forehead. “You’re a wizard among men.”

“I am a man of many oils and much wisdom.”

You laughed, and he wrapped his arms around you tighter. In the quiet that followed, you felt a deep, abiding peace settle in your chest. Loving Dani Rojas was like stepping into sunlight; bright, warm, a little overwhelming at times, but always, always worth it.

And maybe, just maybe, you’d start doing hair masks with him. You’d never admit it out loud, but your scalp was already thanking you.

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troy & abed in the mooooooorning! 🥹

Morning hours

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people who are voting dean…. did we watch the same show!??!?

*The Chosen is a Smosh character created by Shayne Topp. Here's a good summary.

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I want Misha’s character to make a bunch of pop culture references that Soldier Boy doesn’t understand

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“Manic pixy dream girl” Son & and his “type-A bipolar wine mom” Dad

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i love when men do that slutty hip pop. like yes king be a manwhore and capitalize on that slutty waist.

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this is just the end of deadpool and wolverine when they blast all the deadpool variants lol

no rage room needed

Wade takes Logan to a rage room

That's it, that the post

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And then after hell, he lowered Dean’s voice even FURTHER because of the damage caused from all his screaming.

say what you will about jensen ackles but in 2005 he made the active decision to pitch dean’s voice lower not because he felt like dean’s voice was naturally low but because JDM’s voice was low and he thought dean would try to talk like his dad

he’s the ultimate dean studies enthusiast. he said dean is a performer from day One.

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I’m gonna say something rly brave in this clonespace but.

I don’t like codywan 😔 Sowwy friends

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WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

Fish fear him, women (and men) want him

Also shamelessly letting you know my commissions are open ^^

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BROWN CARHARTT JACKET SAM SAVE MEEEEE

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Apparently a lot of people get dialogue punctuation wrong despite having an otherwise solid grasp of grammar, possibly because they’re used to writing essays rather than prose. I don’t wanna be the asshole who complains about writing errors and then doesn’t offer to help, so here are the basics summarized as simply as I could manage on my phone (“dialogue tag” just refers to phrases like “he said,” “she whispered,” “they asked”):

“For most dialogue, use a comma after the sentence and don’t capitalize the next word after the quotation mark,” she said.

“But what if you’re using a question mark rather than a period?” they asked.

“When using a dialogue tag, you never capitalize the word after the quotation mark unless it’s a proper noun!” she snapped.

“When breaking up a single sentence with a dialogue tag,” she said, “use commas.”

“This is a single sentence,” she said. “Now, this is a second stand-alone sentence, so there’s no comma after ‘she said.’”

“There’s no dialogue tag after this sentence, so end it with a period rather than a comma.” She frowned, suddenly concerned that the entire post was as unasked for as it was sanctimonious.

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i hope randos on the internet know that their opinion has zero affect on how I choose to tag my posts lol i tag for MY reference on MY blog.

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uhh. untechnicalfixer??? maybe???

Reblog and write the opposite of your URL

openfacedsandwiches → closedtoeburritos

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I like sambucky as much as the next person… but stucky will always come first.

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Clone Art Requests Open ! ✨💛 check out RULES if you wanna participate & have your ask drawn (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ 💌 any clones are welcome + followers only !

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gifted kid burnout is REAL

I know some people are sad that Percy isn’t a badass in Wrath of the Triple Goddess but honestly? I feel like he deserves a flop era. Surely the consequence of being a badass from ages 12-16 is being a little over it by 17.