tempcrnce

[tempcrnce]

wow who remembers me i’m planning a come back

[tempcrnce]

[tempcrnce]

[tempcrnce]

❝ Are you trying to get me in bed? ❞ / dream daddy or fbi

God, how Neal loves flirting. Just like stealing, there’s a thrill to it that’s completely addictive. You’ve got to stay on your feet – stop paying attention for a second and you’ll be knocked right out of the game. It’s that kind of risk that always has him hooked when his opposite knows how to play that game. And Blaine happens to be a master at it. As much as he likes physical touch, when it comes to Blaine, they can talk for hours and it’s just as satisfying as anything else. Whoever first said that intelligence was sexy was head on – and it was even between when two people of matching wit came together.

His eyes narrow teasingly at Blaine, head resting lightly against his hand where he’s got his elbow propped up on the backrest behind Blaine. Dinner has been stimulating to say the least and now that they’ve moved into a more comfortable position on the couch, the little space left between them seems to hold all of the tension in the world. Neal’s skin is practically tingling with the need to close it – but he knows it will be even more rewarding if he holds out just a little longer.

“Great detective work, agent. I’d have thought for someone with an official badge, you may come to a conclusion a little faster.” He’s grinning and god, he wants to kiss him. And for a moment, he does lean in – but stops before they make contact. He briefly wonders whether this special kind of self-torture in favor of rising tension is an unknown kind of kink he should be exploring, but decides to reschedule that train of thought for another day.

For now, he moves his hand from the back of the couch to the back of Blaine’s head, idly twirls his fingers around a loose curl. “Is it working?”

[tempcrnce]

❝ I’ll be back when I’ve made you proud. ❞ 

Neal just hums before he’s reaching out, catches Blaine around the waist before he can make it over the doorstep and twirls him back around towards himself. Blaine’s been stressing about this quiz pretty much since the day they got told about it and even though Neal’s entirely sure Blaine is the single most prepared person for a random quiz that this world has ever seen, he can tell he’s still nervous. He can feel it under his skin, itching and making him unable to rest properly as well and he’ll be damned if he lets Blaine leave without giving the both of them a little relief. 

Hand presses against the small of Blaine’s back to hold him against himself for a moment once he’s facing him again and a smile settles on his face. “I’m already proud of you,��� he tells him, pauses to make sure Blaine not only understood but believes him, too. Who wouldn’t be proud of Blaine? The kid’s not even old enough to drink yet and still is one of the best behaved and smartest people he knows. He’s sweet and kind and makes Neal feel more alive with every second they spend together. Who knew someone so purely good could still make Neal feel positively about himself as well?

“So,” he starts again after a moment, leans in to catch Blaine’s lips in a lingering, sweet kiss. “You’re going to be back this afternoon after your quiz. And I’ll continue to be proud of you as it was.”

Neal’s own tendency to take things very literal and bend the rules that way or let people come to their own conclusions without necessarily saying the words they seem to hear has made him sensitive to that potential in other people, as well. That and Blaine’s perfectionism make him slightly concerned that Blaine not feeling like he has a perfect answer for question number 7d or something might lead him to believe Neal wouldn’t be proud – and therefore not returning immediately after school. And if there’s even the slightest possibility for that, Neal would like to eradicate it. Question 7d answered to the point or not, he wants to be around to talk to Blaine once the source of stress of the past couple of weeks is gone.

Another quick kiss and he’s pulling back lest he be the cause for Blaine running late. “Alright, you should get going. Be good.” He winks at that, knowing fully well Blaine will do that anyway but enjoying the words all the same. Arm unwinds from around Blaine’s waist to give him the space to turn back towards the hallway and when he does, Neal can’t resist the urge to send him off with a tap on his butt. “I’ll see you this afternoon.”

[tempcrnce]

❝ It’s safe to say I’ll never be the son that they wanted, or even the son they accepted. ❞

Neal has to admit, he might have gone into this with a bit too much of a glass-half-full attitude. Sure, Blaine had told him about his parents and the fact that they weren’t the most accepting people. So yes, he had expected a certain level of conservatism and reserve against the guy their son is bringing home. But even so, Neal knew of the effected he tended to have on people and maybe a little foolishly, he had expected his charm to solve all issues as per usual. In his head, he’d been sure he’d be able to pull at least one of Blaine’s parents over to his side, have some smooth small talk about fantastic dinner and talk up their son and then be on their way.

In reality, this had been the most awkward dinner he’d ever been at. And he’d been to dinner with Peter and El while actively keeping treasure from him which he discussed over his steak.

He finally got it now and had to say – even he felt a little suffocated. As someone who treasured his freedom above most things in life, the almost stifling sense of discomfort and silent disapproval hanging in the air had certainly put him on edge. Now that they’d cleared the table and Neal had attempted his way through another round of really, you should let me do the dishes and I can’t possibly leave without the recipe for those mashed potatoes, he was more than glad when Blaine had suggested they go upstairs for a little while. Breathing did seem to come a bit easier up here.

Closing the door behind them, he turns towards Blaine and lets out a slow breath. He would love to argue this. So far, he’s always held out hope that they may just be bad at showing their acceptance. But having met Blaine’s parents… he can’t find many great arguments anymore. So he just crosses over towards Blaine slowly, a hand settling on his shoulder and slowly stroking down his arm until fingers can interlock. “Well, for what it’s worth – you still turned out great. Parental support is ideal, but not always necessary for someone to find their way in the world.”

He squeezes Blaine’s hand, the small smile on his face decidedly less flashy than it had been all night. For a moment, they both just stand quietly, Neal’s thumb rubbing over the back of Blaine’s hand before the heaviness of the situation threatens to become overwhelming. So Neal sucks in a breath, turns his head and lets his gaze wonder around the room. A moment later, he zooms in on something, smile turning into a grin as he looks back to Blaine. “Nice room,” he comments, pulls Blaine over towards a shelf on the wall. “Superheroes, huh? Did you want to catch all the bad guys?”

[tempcrnce]

❝ I found what I want is what I cannot have.    ❞ / fbi

Eyes linger on Blaine as Neal considers his words. Perhaps he has a point. From a purely professional standpoint, they probably shouldn’t be doing this. In fact, there’s a good chance there may even be rules against that ( Neal didn’t read the FBI rule book that closely ) and it’s a fact that should this be the case, this could end much worse for Blaine than it would for him. Blaine has much more to lose. After all, he is the full fledged FBI agent with a while career ahead of him and a legacy behind him while Neal’s just a CI. The most valuable one if you asked him, but still.

So if Neal was decent, he’d agree and keep his distance. Make this easier for the both of them. But, who really expects Neal to be decent? They all knew what they were getting into when allowing a felon into their lives, didn’t they?

That’s why Neal finds himself stepping closer despite Blaine’s words, giving into the draw that always seems to pull him towards the other. Maybe the fact that they shouldn’t be doing this is exactly why it’s so exciting, why Neal can’t keep his hands to himself or let this go. After all, he’s always had a thing for pretty things he shouldn’t be getting close to.

Speaking of which – chest almost bumps against Blaine’s once he’s moved into his space enough and fingers brush just slightly against his. After all, it’s the tension of restraint that keeps this so enticing. 

“Says who?” he questions, voice low and quiet between them as eyes zero in on Blaine’s. “I’ve always found that life’s much more fun when you just take what you want.”

[tempcrnce]

❝ I’m finding every reason to be gone. ❞

Neal’s still relaxing on the bed, amused grin on his face as he watches Blaine move around his apartment. It’s Sunday and for a change, crime seems to abide by a five day week schedule and hasn’t called either of them into work yet. Which Neal is very thankful for because there’s just something about long, lazy Sundays that has become a luxury as of late.

He’s propped himself up on an elbow, sheets lazily thrown over himself because getting dressed has seemed pointless so far. Blaine, on the other side, has managed to put on pants, though it seems like he’s given up somewhere between that and his shirt. Currently, he’s busying himself with putting away the dishes from breakfast which is entirely ridiculous and only makes Neal grin more.

For an FBI agent, the guy is incredibly obvious.

Not even trying to dim the smirk on his face, Neal clears his throat and finally does drag himself off his bed. He finds a pair of boxers to put on, but doesn’t go as far as going after pants. If he has it his way, that’s just counterproductive. Coming up behind Blaine where he’s still moving plates around and brushing crumbs into the trashcan, he wraps an arm around his middle, splays a hand against his stomach.

“And yet you’re still here,” he points out, satisfied when he feels Blaine’s stomach tighten and then rise a little faster as he breathes. It’s not like he’s holding Blaine hostage. It’s just that they’ve got nowhere to be as far as any pressing appointments go. Usually, even when they end up in bed together, work calls in the morning and forces them to get dressed and pretend to just be colleges again for a while. Today, neither of them has that cover and Neal’s surprised to find that Blaine is the one who struggles with that the most.

Head dips towards the curve of Blaine’s neck and warm lips still tasting of coffee press against soft skin. Blaine shudders a little and finally puts the plate down. Neal only continues to grin, lips brushing against Blaine’s neck as he speaks. “I think you don’t really want to go. Do you, Blaine?”

[tempcrnce]

❝ How’d I end up lying naked with you? ❞ / fbi

To be quite honest, the fact that they’d end here felt almost inevitable. Like the culmination of months of tension that continued to build. All it had taken for that tension to finally lead to any kind of resolve of it was, quite literally, a bang. A bang that Blaine had jumped in front of to protect Neal. That fact still lingered on Neal’s mind as a really stupid decision but then again, it did all lead to last night’s developments and he can’t say he has any regrets about that. 

His head turns towards where Blaine’s face is half mushed into the pillow and he can’t help but smile. Usually, he knows Blaine in his prime and proper get-up, all perfectly color coordinated shirts and gelled down hair. There’s something very alluring about seeing him as disheveled as he is now, with bedhead and – as he so kindly pointed out – naked. Like figuring out a magic trick. Getting to see behind the curtain. And Neal has to say, he likes what he sees there.

So he hums, rolls over onto his side and props his head up on his hand. It’s still fairly early and if they’re lucky, they got another few hours before there’s even the possibility of getting called into work. For as long as he got, Neal is more than excited to enjoy this kind of Blaine.

“Well,” he starts, the word long and drawn out. “You see, when two boys like each other very much…”

The shove he receives in return makes him laugh – the real, genuine kind not the calculated one he uses when convenient. Being around Blaine is dangerously easy and he knows he should work on keeping his own defenses up even while he enjoys Blaine’s physical ones being gone. Charming and sweet or not, the guy’s still an FBI agent in the white collar department. By pure definition, he shouldn’t let him get under his skin. 

… And yet, Neal can’t help himself when he recovers from that shove and shifts himself closer to Blaine. One hand settles on Blaine’s back, runs down his spine and then back up to wrap around his waist and draw himself closer. “I could always show you how that came to be.”

[tempcrnce]

                       he PRETENDS that he’s o k a y                (( but you should see him in bed, late at night ))

                        HE’S                     PETRIFIED.

[tempcrnce]

❝ Sometimes I feel like I’m always on the outside, there’s this invisible line that I have to cross to really be a part of everything and I just can’t ever cross it. ❞ / halden verse

Crossing invisible lines is kind of Neal’s forte. For the majority of his life, his living was made by him figuring out exactly who he needed to be to find a way into a particular circle. He was a part of everything and found joy in that. There’s a special kind of power in fitting into different roles to get wherever he wants, to find just how easy it is to work with human emotion and use that to his advantage.

So he understands why Blaine feels unhappy about seemingly not being able to be a part of everything. However, there’s downsides to it as well. Downsides that Neal can only realistically evaluate on the rare occasion that he feels unusually connected to his emotions. Being able to become anyone to cross lines means now, on his way to his mid-thirties, he’s not entirely sure who he even is anymore. Over the years, he’s been so many people – doctors, teachers, lawyers, investors. All of them came with backgrounds and personalities to match whatever the people they came in contact with wanted and needed from them. And Neal has fondness for them all, enjoys slipping into each one of them. It’s the slipping out that’s become hard. Where does Nick Halden and and Neal Caffrey start? Which parts of Nick that he carries with him every day are actually part of his genuine personality and which are just really bad character bleed?

That’s the advantage Blaine has: he seems to have a pretty good grip of who he is. He’s in touch with who he is. And sometimes Neal wonders whether that feels better than being a part of every crowd and every conversation.

He nods, lowers his gaze and thinks for a second before he speaks. “Maybe it’s okay to not be a part of everything,” he muses. “Maybe what’s more important is to be a part of the things that matter.”

[tempcrnce]

❝ You make everything a big deal. ❞

It actually makes Neal pause. Not the words, really, because they’re not entirely untrue. Neal does love a spectacle. It’s the tone that gets him. Blaine sounds so much like Peter here. And not just regular Peter but the way Peter gets when he doesn’t believe Neal, when he’s exhausted by his antics and suspicious of both his actions and suspicions. And even after all these years, it never fails to get to Neal. He stands by the fact that he’s never lied to Peter so every time this air of distrust comes up, it makes Neal’s defenses snap up and his brain go into I told you so mode. 

But that’s Peter. Usually, Neal doesn’t see much of a resemblance between Peter and Blaine, even as far as habits go. But right now, the exhaustion and mild annoyance in Blaine’s face is almost comically identical to the expression Peter wears in these kinds of situations. Or, it would be comical if it didn’t upset Neal as much as it does. Just like Peter, he’s never lied to Blaine either. Especially not to Blaine.

Has he let him come to conclusions that maybe weren’t the full truth? Sure. Did today’s undercover mission end up being a little more dramatic than he anticipated? Yes. Will he have more information to solve this case by tomorrow thanks to this? Absolutely. So maybe, people should just start trusting him a little and not jump at every chance to point fingers at him and how unfit he is for FBI work. If everyone’s so eager to reiterate how he barely belongs out of prison, it almost seems kinder to put him back there than force him to prove himself every single time something inconvenient happens in a case.

Obviously, he says none of these things. Instead, he just nods his head once, schools his face into a carefully neutral one. 

“Right. I’m sorry for the inconvenience. I’ll be at my desk if you need anything, Agent Anderson.”

[tempcrnce]

❝ I’m too busy trying not to be in love with someone who isn’t real. ❞

Neal’s head is lowered just enough so he can avoid eye-contact by glancing at the space between them. Where he’s usually very eager to use his social skills to charm his way around problems, it’s moments like this that he gets more quiet than usual – one of the few ways to show that something is actually getting to Neal Caffrey. 

Maybe he should fight, maybe he should argue or try to explain himself or even just reiterate that he’s sorry. But he does none of those things. Instead, hands stay shoved into the pockets of his pants and his head nods in acknowledgement. While Neal doesn’t shy away from fighting for what he wants and skipping around a rule or two if he needs to in most aspects of his life, he’s much quicker to accept defeat in matters of the heart. Whether that’s because that’s easier and safer than putting himself back out there or because he finds the decision not to be with him to be a reasonable one, he’s not entirely sure of. 

Either way, Blaine has a point and he can hardly blame him for not wanting to waste feelings on someone who lied to him. Usually, Neal is able to find excuses for his behavior but even he needs to admit that this one went way too far. It leaves him in no position to expect anything from Blaine, least of all forgiveness or a willingness to try this again. 

So even as a voice in the back of his head tells him to do anything, to not walk away from something that could be special if only he allowed himself that sensitivity, to not waste another chance at love – he just nods.

“I can’t blame you,” he says after a moment, head slowly lifting to look at Blaine. “We all have to make the decisions that we believe are best for us.”

[tempcrnce]

“ d—-don’t make me moan, i don’t want anyone to catch us… ”

the grin that appears on neal’s face in response could be described as shit-eating by people who don’t value language as much as neal does. in all those years that he’d denied himself this kind of reaction, he had almost forgotten how good it feels – to be pressed against someone like this. All open and pliant against him, body moving so easily and effortlessly against his own. But above it all, the emotion of it all. 

Warm bodies to spend a night with are easy enough to find and although Neal had limited himself even in that regard, it wasn’t just the sexual side of things that had drawn him in so quickly. It was the way Blaine’s words went straight to his chore, the way every breath and motion from him made his own body react on instinct and his brain feel hyper-aware and more relaxed than ever at the same time. He seems to notice everything about Blaine – even by his own standards of attentiveness, which are high as it is. And yet,t hat kind of constant attention and care he finds himself yearning to give doesn’t stress him, doesn’t overwhelm or get in the way of anything else he’s doing. Instead it brings him a sort of comfort he hasn’t felt in far too long.

Blaine, without knowing, had not only brought a breath of fresh air into his life but reminded him of who he was and that maybe giving into that wasn’t going to end in everyone’s demise. And now that he’d gotten a taste of what it was like to be with Blaine, he doesn’t think he can quit. Whoever said that heroin was the most addictive thing in the world clearly had never tried love affection.

So as his hands move over Blaine’s waist to his hips and push them back against the shelves they’re currently hidden behind, there’s none of the lingering concern and guilt he’d always felt just thinking about moments like these. And when Blaine swallows a gasp, he doesn’t worry about whether this will end in heartbreak, only whether it’s considered really bad etiquette to screw his boyfriend between files on tax fraud. 

Hands move to find Blaine’s wrists, bring them up above his head to pin them to the metal bar holding up one row of said tax fraud files and he just feels happy. Like this is where he’s supposed to be, noses almost bumping with Blaine’s as he holds him in place, breath hitting each other’s faces and the openness in Blaine’s eyes not so much scaring him as making him excited for the future.

“So what if anyone does?” he mutters, presses in closer, bodies flush together. As if on cue, someone walks past, on the other side of several the rows of shelves. The clicking of their shoes disappears up the stairs and then it’s silent again which Neal takes as a perfect time to roll his hips forward just once. There’s still people around, but it’s late and everyone’s either close to hallucinating from the amounts of coffee they’ve ingested or too busy to concern themselves with the CI having snuck away with his boyfriend. “Let them catch us. All they’ll see is how good you look right now – all flushed and pretty and open for me. Such a good boy. My good boy.” 

He pauses, shifts so he can press a leg between Blaine’s thighs and grins when that attempted vow of silence doesn’t hold up at all. Leaning in, he nips at his bottom lip. “That’s it. You’re so hot like this.” Another brief beat, Neal deliberately taking a moment to just take in the sight in front of him. “What do you want, sweet boy? Do you want me to get you off right here? I wouldn’t even need to take off any of your clothes, would I? Hell, I probably wouldn’t need to touch you any more than I am right now and you’d still come for me, wouldn’t you?”

[tempcrnce]

“I’ve got daddy issues pumping in my blood, leaking into my soul, like the drugs that lift my spirits to forget them. I will never be who you want me to be, dearest father, but I am who I am, and if I’m everything you so desperately hate — then so be it.”

—  and yet she’s always high. j.c.  (via jcsefinepettersen)

[tempcrnce]

defineguilty‌.

Neal notes the sudden inhale with a pleased grin. There’s just something so satisfying about the reactions he’s able to get out of Blaine with so much as a single touch. His dare, however, makes Neal’s eyes narrow. He leans in some more, their noses almost touching and the ghost of Blaine’s breath on his own face.

“You’re very bad at this game,” he points out into their proximity and then, at once, picks up his glass of wine again and sidesteps away from Blaine. Sipping, he strolls back around the table as if nothing had happened. As much fun as this general situation is, Blaine’s so called dares aren’t his favorite, he’ll admit that much. He likes avoiding the rules as much as the next con-man, but if he’d known he was signing up for a night of Tell-All With Neal Caffrey, maybe he’d have prepared differently. But he’s in it now and not known to quit a game before he wins it. Glancing back at Blaine from across the table, he raises his eyebrows. “Truth, I assume?”

Blaine only rolls his eyes, his gaze following Neal as he walks away (he’ll never admit out loud how his own gaze briefly drifts downwards, but that’s neither here nor there). “I never said I was ever good at it, did I?” he quips, the smirk still very apparent on his lips. For a second, he wonders if this is what Neal feels like on a day to day basis, never fully admitting to things he has or hasn’t done, but letting the world believe some of the greatest conquests are a result of him.

“Dare, actually,” he says cheekily. “You didn’t think I was going to expect you to tell the truth and then not return the favor, do you? O ye of little faith”

[tempcrnce]

Fluff Starters

“You’re hair is really soft after you wash it.”

“Ssh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.”

“You smell really nice.”

“Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.”

“I might have slept with your robe when you were gone.”

“If you steal the blankets, I am going to put my cold feet on you.”

“Here, let’s share the blanket.”

“You’re comfy.”

“You are my new pillow.”

“You are very endearing when you are half-asleep.”

“But I want to hear you sing.”

“We can talk over dinner.”

“Don’t be stubborn. Try it!”

“Don’t get up - I’ll do it.”

“Will you let me rub your back?”

“Care to give me a back scratch?”

“Star-gazing was a good idea.”

“You look beautiful/handsome in the moonlight.”

“I’ll always be here for you.”

“I’ll be here to protect you.”

“I think I love you.”

“You are my love.”

“How about something warm? It will will help you sleep.”

“It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

“Don’t be silly. I want to stay up with you.”

“It is not morning yet.”

“Shush and go back to bed.”

“I heard you talking in your sleep.”

“Your bed head is really cute.”

“We’ll do dishes together.”

“How about a kiss?”

“I love your hugs.”

A few were inspired by these.