the-100-dateproject

[the-100-dateproject]

I’ve been spending more and more time with “Rodeo Boy” lately, and the thing is… he’s really, truly nice. Like, consistently nice. Thoughtful. Sweet. Just solid, good-person energy. And honestly, it’s messing with my head.

Part of me keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like maybe this is all some elaborate performance and the real him is lurking underneath, just waiting to show up when I least expect it. I don’t have evidence for that — it’s just this reflexive fear I can’t shake.

Word is, his divorce will be final in six days. Six. I still keep bracing for the moment when he tells me it didn’t happen, or that something’s changed. Like I’m preparing myself for disappointment just in case, so it doesn’t knock me over when it comes. (Which… is messed up. I know.)

He’s met a few of my friends now, and every single one of them has said some version of the same thing: “He’s just a really good guy.” And they’re right. But instead of relaxing into that, I find myself wondering why I’m so afraid to believe it.

What is it that makes kindness feel suspicious? Why do I trust the part of me that’s scared more than the part that just wants to enjoy this?

[the-100-dateproject]

So, Rodeo Guy.

We’ve spent a few evenings together now — dinner, axe throwing (which, yes, I dominated), and even a shooting range date. He came over for dinner one night, and it felt… easy. Comfortable. Fun. He’s thoughtful, respectful, and seems genuinely interested in me.

And honestly? That scares the hell out of me.

Anyone else feel that way? Like, after enough bad relationships or emotional trauma, when someone actually treats you well, your instinct isn’t to feel safe — it’s to panic. You start waiting for the other shoe to drop. You’re convinced there has to be a catch, because history taught you that kindness comes with strings or that love is supposed to feel like chaos.

But this guy? He just seems genuine. No games, no drama — just someone being decent. And instead of leaning into it, I find myself scanning for cracks. Not because he’s done anything wrong, but because I’ve been trained to equate peace with danger.

I’m trying to unlearn that.

So if you’ve ever met someone who treats you with the kind of kindness that makes you want to run for cover — just know you’re not alone. Healing isn’t linear, and sometimes, love that feels unfamiliar is the kind that’s actually worth exploring.

Still figuring it out. But maybe, just maybe, this time it’s okay to stop bracing for impact.

[the-100-dateproject]

[the-100-dateproject]

“Rules are meant to be broken… sometimes.”

So, let me tell y’all about this little chapter I’m calling “Park Boy & The Rodeo Surprise.” Buckle up—it’s light, a little flirty, and 100% real life.

First, there was Park Boy. Sweet guy. Nothing wild, no sparks flying, no violins playing—just the kind of nice that feels like hanging out with an old friend on a sunny afternoon. We talked, we laughed, nothing more, nothing less. He’s not from around here, but he’ll be moving back from Alabama eventually, so who knows? Maybe I just made a new friend for the future. And honestly, sometimes that’s all you need.

Now… the rodeo. That’s where things got interesting.

I’d been chatting with this other gentleman—wasn’t even sure he’d actually show up. But lo and behold, there he was, walking by a few times, catching my eye. And I’ll admit it: I enjoyed the view. There’s something about a cowboy swagger under the arena lights that just does it, okay?

Now here’s where things get wild for me: I broke two of my personal dating rules that night. Not one—two.

Rule #1: Nobody meets my kids or close friends until the six-month mark. It’s a boundary I’ve held onto like gospel. But somehow, this man ended up meeting both my kids and some of the people I care about most—all in one evening. And weirdly? It felt… fine. Natural, even.( didn’t mean the girlfriend though)

Rule #2: No kissing on the first date. Ever. I’m not that girl. Or at least, I wasn’t. Until that night. Because that kiss? Whew. It wasn’t just butterflies—it was a full-on firework show in my brain. The kind of kiss that makes you drive home smiling like a teenager.

We kept it light—no heavy convos, no future plans, just dancing, laughing, and enjoying the moment. And in the middle of all that, I thought, “Maybe I’ll actually want a second date this time.”

Who knows where it’ll go from here. Maybe nowhere. Or maybe somewhere sweet. Either way, I broke a couple of my rules—and it felt really, really good.

⸻

[the-100-dateproject]

http://snapchat.com

[the-100-dateproject]

I don’t think I’ll make it to Date 10. Dating lately feels like a joke. I’m not here to be your “I’m bored” text or your late-night “you up?” call. That’s just not me.

Where are the people who actually want to get to know someone? Talk. Connect. Build something real.

This flaky, halfway effort stuff? Not working for me. I want something intentional—or nothing at all.

[the-100-dateproject]

Went on a date recently—lunch in the park, great conversation, good vibes. We’ve texted a few times since, but the communication? Pretty much sucks.

He works nights and sleeps during the day, so our schedules don’t line up. Weekends come and go, and if everyone isn’t busy, I might get a text. And that’s the thing—I’m not here for the “I’m bored, so I’ll text you” energy. If you’re into someone, you find a way to connect, no matter how packed your schedule is.

It’s not about constant attention—it’s about intentional attention. So if you’re only showing up when you’ve got nothing else going on? Yeah… I’m not the one.

[the-100-dateproject]

What’s your take on dating apps ??

Some people just want attention or validation. They swipe, match, and chat just enough to get that dopamine hit, then disappear.

Others are scared of actual connection or don’t know how to transition from small talk to something meaningful.

[the-100-dateproject]

My only frustration of the evening is once I did conversations might as well have the best conversation of my life with myself 

[the-100-dateproject]

“Believe in the magic of new beginnings and the strength within you to create the life you desire.”

[the-100-dateproject]

So, here we go again—another date! But this one’s a bit different. The guy I’m meeting is from out of state, and while he’s been super nice and we’ve hit it off, there’s something that’s been bugging me. He’s supposed to be moving this way for a few months, but I get the sense there’s more to his story than he’s letting on.

We’ve had a few conversations, and he’s definitely charming, but there are these little moments where he seems to skirt around certain topics—almost like he’s holding something back. I can’t help but wonder what he’s not saying. Like, what does he really do for a living? He’s given me the basics, but there are some things he’s a little too quick to change the subject on. It’s not like he’s being evasive in a rude way, but just… a little guarded. Maybe he’s just not ready to share, or maybe there’s something bigger at play.

I know, I know—everyone has their secrets, right? But when you feel that little instinct tugging at you, it’s hard to ignore. Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe he’s just waiting for the right time to open up. Still, part of me wonders what kind of story he’s really hiding under the surface. Is he just a genuinely nice guy who’s a bit cautious, or is there something more mysterious going on?

Regardless, I’m curious to see where this goes. For now, I’m keeping an open mind, Let’s just hope the truth comes out soon.

[the-100-dateproject]

Alright, I’m going to be real with you: I think I’m done. Done with dating, done with putting myself out there, and done with the constant cycle of feeling like I’m just being used. At this point, I’m honestly considering changing the direction of this blog because I’m not sure I even have the energy to keep up with it. Maybe it’s just me, but every time I try to have a genuine conversation, it feels like guys only want one thing. And you know what? I should know better by now, but I don’t. And I’m tired of trying.

Here’s the story: A guy I’ve known for a while was back in town, and he stopped by to say hello on his way home. We were catching up—talking about his travels, work, and future trips—nothing deep, just some light conversation. I was sharing what I’ve been up to, and everything seemed fine. Then, out of nowhere, he asked if I wanted to hop in the hot tub with him.

Now, you’d think I’d have seen the red flags. I should have. But I didn’t. I just said sure. The only problem? I didn’t have a swimsuit, so I ended up going in my underwear. And, let’s be honest, for a girl, that’s pretty much the same thing as wearing a swimsuit.

So we get in the hot tub, and things start getting weird, fast. He starts making moves, trying to put his hand places that were clearly unwelcome, asking me to do things that made me uncomfortable, and then—just flat-out—asks if I want to sleep with him.

I just had to stop him right there and say, “I’m not that girl.” I’m not the kind of person who throws myself into situations like that, not without trust or real connection. I have my boundaries, and that’s not something I’m willing to cross.

Of course, he got mad. And that was the end of that.

But here’s the thing: it didn’t stop there.

Later, a guy friend of mine, someone I’ve known since high school, called me up. He was completely drunk, and it was obvious he had no idea where he even was. I tried to make sure he was somewhere safe, and when he said no, I offered to pick him up. His response? “I’m coming to your house.”

I told him, flat-out, “No, you’re not.” But then he started getting aggressive, saying things like, “You’re never gonna let me f*** you.” And honestly, that was the moment I snapped.

Is this what guys really think of me? Do I really just give off a vibe that all they want is sex?

I’m tired.

I know sex is important in relationships, but for me, it’s not something to just throw around. It matters. It’s a connection, not just a physical act. And I’m not willing to give it to just anyone. Yet every time I try to have a conversation, to get to know someone—whether it’s asking about their week, how they’re doing, or just sharing random thoughts—the conversation always, without fail, shifts toward sex. And I’m just… over it.

I’m done trying to force something that isn’t there. I’m tired of feeling like a conquest or just another “easy target.”

I think I’m at the point where I’m ready to lock it up and call it quits. I don’t want to be used, and I’m done having meaningless conversations with guys who clearly don’t see me as anything more than a potential hookup. I can’t keep pretending this isn’t draining me.

Maybe I’m better off alone, and if this is what dating has turned into, maybe that’s okay.

But here’s the thing: If you’ve ever felt like this, if you’ve ever been frustrated with the same pattern, you’re not alone. Sometimes it takes more strength to walk away from something that’s not fulfilling than to keep going through the motions.

And for now? I’m choosing to walk away.

[the-100-dateproject]

I honestly have no idea where I stand with all of this. I’ve been at it for weeks now, and if I’m being real, I’ve only made it through one day of truly trying. There’s always an excuse ready to go, a reason why I’m not diving in fully. But deep down, I know what it is: I’m afraid. Afraid of getting hurt again. Afraid of letting myself get attached to someone who might not feel the same way.

It feels like a pattern I can’t seem to break. I start to think, “Hey, this person seems nice,” and then, bam—the red flags come out. Maybe it’s an open relationship, or maybe they’re still not over their ex. Suddenly, all they want to talk about is their past, and there I am, just trying to stay present in the moment. Or worse, they start asking for special pictures and sending messages, only to disappear just as quickly as they arrived. I find myself feeling like I’m constantly putting in the effort—asking questions, trying to connect—but they never ask anything in return.

And that’s the real kicker: you end up feeling like you’re the only one invested. Like you’re the only one doing the work, while they just cruise along doing their own thing. It’s exhausting and confusing, and honestly, it can make you question if you’re doing something wrong or if it’s just the way things are now.

I keep thinking I have it figured out, but then, reality slaps me in the face, and I’m back to square one. Maybe I’m not alone in this. Maybe others feel just as lost, but for now, I’m just here, trying to figure it out—one step at a time.

But hey, maybe that’s the whole point of it all: learning as we go, figuring out what we want, and, more importantly, learning how to navigate these unpredictable waters without losing ourselves in the process.

[the-100-dateproject]

Okay, so it’s been a few days on Tinder, and honestly, I don’t even know what day it is anymore. Maybe it’s day three or four? Who knows. But one thing is for sure: I am so tired of the same old thing. I downloaded the app with a little bit of hope, thinking maybe I’d find something real. Instead, it’s just a weird mix of married people, people looking for short-term fun, and a bunch of people who only seem to want to talk when they need something.

Why is it that it feels like everyone’s attention span is about as long as a TikTok video these days? It’s like nobody really cares about anything long-term anymore. I get it, people want excitement and fun, but come on, is that all anyone’s interested in? We live in a world where it seems like every conversation is one-sided, where I’ll ask 20 questions just to get to know someone, and in return, I’ll get zero questions about me.

And the worst part? The fake personas. It feels like most people aren’t even being themselves. They only show up when they need something, and then they disappear. There’s no real connection, just shallow exchanges that leave you feeling more empty than when you started.

I just don’t get it. If we’re all looking for something real, why is it so hard to find? Everyone seems so wrapped up in themselves, only caring about what they want, when they want it. And honestly, I’m over it. I’m done with the fake, one-sided conversations. I’m tired of putting in effort when no one else cares to do the same.

So yeah, maybe this is it. Maybe I’m just done. It’s exhausting to keep trying in a world full of short attention spans, selfish conversations, and fake people.