the-almighty-couch
the-almighty-couch
#1 Toxic Yuri Cannibalism Advocate
80K posts
Couch — 30 trans gal (she/her), lesbian and taken — I like it when women are mean and eat each other
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the-almighty-couch · 4 hours ago
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mirror mirror on the ceiling
what's this dick tip burning feeling?
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the-almighty-couch · 4 hours ago
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the-almighty-couch · 9 hours ago
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this fanfic shit is easy
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the-almighty-couch · 9 hours ago
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the-almighty-couch · 9 hours ago
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the-almighty-couch · 9 hours ago
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your kingdom honestly sucks. your princess replaced all of the knights with animated suits of armor :/
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the-almighty-couch · 9 hours ago
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me: morning people aren’t just the kind of people that wake up earlier, but they are also the kind of people that are able to get more things done in a shorter window of time, since “morning” is a shorter part of a day than “night” is
the handsome mage woman who just pulled me out of a demonic skeleton pit and revived my wounds: do you think the morning might seem like a shorter part of the day to you because you don’t get up very early?
me: no it’s definitely that other thing I said. did you still wanna make out btw
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the-almighty-couch · 9 hours ago
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“you’re so quiet” yeah i’m rewriting the same 3 sentences in my head while imagining a dramatic betrayal between fictional people. i’m BUSY
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the-almighty-couch · 10 hours ago
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Sword of the Sea, the latest game from Giant Squid (ABZU, The Pathless) is out! Scored by the incomparable Austin Wintory. I played the winds on the score, including this giant, custom-commissioned Mayan harmony triple drone flute, and have been so excited to finally share this instrument with everyone! Endless thank yous to Matt Nava and Giant Squid, to Austin for his friendship and artistry, and to Eagle Feather, this incredible instrument's maker. :)
Listen to the album: https://austinwintory.bandcamp.com/album/sword-of-the-sea
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the-almighty-couch · 10 hours ago
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well the eagle eats my liver every day around 3pm, but otherwise i can meet when it best suits your schedule!
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the-almighty-couch · 20 hours ago
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crash bandicoot comics
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the-almighty-couch · 21 hours ago
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what if American Psycho was wet?
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the-almighty-couch · 21 hours ago
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>two parts oatmeal one part milk
that shit goes down smooth as silk
>two parts oatmeal one part rice
kinda weird but could be nice
>two parts oatmeal one part stew
now it's getting hard to chew
>two parts oatmeal one part mole
um no thanks i'm really full
>two parts oatmeal one part mouse
what the fuck dude leave my house
>two parts oatmeal one part arm
where'd that come from who'd you harm
>two parts oatmeal one part ned
who is that oh god he's dead
>two parts oatmeal one part gourd
oh fuck yeah i'm back onboard!
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the-almighty-couch · 21 hours ago
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method actor this method actor that. toshiro mifune played a guy getting shot at by arrows by getting shot at by arrows
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and yeah i believe it. ^ this is the face of a guy getting shot at by arrows
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the-almighty-couch · 21 hours ago
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Im just so frustrated bc it doesnt seem fair that your skills can degrade over time. i LEARNED IT😭
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the-almighty-couch · 21 hours ago
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I should get pregnant
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the-almighty-couch · 21 hours ago
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