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So you’re telling me that there are people out there that can wake up in the morning and just...get out of bed???? Like not lie there for 40 mins trying to get up but just....get up straight away...??? Um sounds fake but ok

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Damn this is important

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AWWWWW

(Source)

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bRUH

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When u accidentally open the front camera but u’re cute so it doesn’t matter.

Rate the selfie of 1 to 10

Credit:  MayaPolarBear

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when I give relationship advice to my teenage friends

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Me: *can’t hold eye contact, is terrified of phone calls, uses self-checkouts to avoid human interaction, doesn’t smile in public, panics over ordering at a restaurant*. Me at a job interview: “I have great customer service skills, and I am a friendly and motivated individual :))))”

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this is my favourite thing ever

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Meirl

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My go karting experience with a sexist man

Recently I (a young woman) went go karting with three of my male friends. When we got to the track there was a middle-aged man there who was gonna have a go on his own but when he saw us he arrive said, “So are you three boys gonna have a go next?” TOTALLY DISREGARDING MY PRESENCE AND ASSUMING THAT BECAUSE I’M A GIRL I’LL BE WATCHING THE BOYS ON THE SIDELINES. One of my friends says, “Yeah all four of us are.” And the man just looks at me like I’m some kind of pathetic joke. So we get out on the track, starting off single file and he’s a bit behind me. I take it easy on the first couple of laps, just getting my bearings, and he starts bumping into my kart, pushing me around a bit. Next thing I know he’s shoved me into the tyre wall and sped past. So first he degraded me as a woman, then he starts pushing me around? BITCH HELL NO. I slammed on the accelerator, and within seconds I was smashing into the back of his kart, pushing him into the tyre wall and zooming past him as I yelled out, “MESS WITH ME MOTHERFUCKER!” That son of a bitch didn’t catch me the rest of the 15 mins we were out there, couldn’t keep up with me. My feminist rage was fueling me and I overlapped 3 out of 4 of the men I was racing with. When we finished, my friends were like, “Holy shit you’re a damn good driver.” And that sexist man? He nodded at me and said, “Not bad out there.” I fucking recked that mysoginistic asshole and I’m damn proud of it.

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meirl

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the more comfortable i get with u the sadder and angrier i seem. like i’ll start off all friendly and chatty but as i get closer to u the real me starts coming out more and u’ll start wondering what happened to me but it’s just cos I like u and feel comfortable with u that i appear less cheery :)))))))))

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Friendly reminder:

what’s up y’all, im just here to remind you that your waiter/waitress DID NOT decide the price of the meals so if you have a problem with it then shove your sucky complaints up your asshole and get the fuck out of the restaurant :)))))))))

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this story is worth your time

So the other day my friend Josh was at his friend’s house and forgot to wear his belt for his pants so his friend gave him his dog leash to wear as a belt and it apparently fit real nice so he wore it all day, and then while they were out his friend’s mum called and said their dog had got out of the yard and run away and as Josh and his friend were driving home they spotted his dog, so when they got out to get the dog Josh just took off his “belt” and was able to bring the dog back home. He just happened to be wearing a dog leash if that’s not fate idk what is

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