the-echo-of-a-narcissist

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

Tim: We can't tell Dick he'll never let us pull this prank.

Jason: What? Dick loves pranks.

Duke: Yeah but not the illegal ones.

Steph: Or ones against cops.

Jason: WHAT!?

Batsibs:..?

Jason: Just one sec

Jason (calling Dick and putting them on speaker):

Dick: Whats up?

Jason: Hey remember when I was still Robin and you got mad at Bruce for telling you not to flirt with the rogues while he was actively hooking up with Selina, so you let me tag along to steal shit from museums while planting cat fur you stole from Selina's place hoping to frame her but the dumb ass detective ended up thinking it was a gang of hyper intelligent stray cats?

Dick (snorting): Yeah, of course, I still send the detective a box of kittens and something of his I've stolen of his every year on National Adopt a Stray Day.

Jason (deadpan look at his siblings):

Dick: Crazy to think that was one of the tamer pranks we pulled...

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

Batman: * enters the room with a bunch of children following behind *

JLA: ???

Green Lantern: Huh

Green Arrow: Batman, who the fuck are these kids?

Batman: Language

Batman: These are my children. Agent A is sick so I had to bring then in

Wonder Woman: I am not acquainted with the hero know as 'agent a'

Aquaman: As long as they don't cause trouble I don't see the issue

Flash: ???

Flash: You don't see the issue? Batman didn't have any kids until not that long ago where did they COME FROM???

Batman: ...

Batman: Oldest one i found in the circus

Batman: Second eldest was born from the shadows

Green Arrow: Wha-

Batman: Third one, i found in the trash

Batman: Fourth one followed me home after I forgot the door open

Batman: And my youngest my ex mailed to me

Aquaman: Mailed??

Batman: I tried to return him but the post office guy said neither Heaven nor Hell wanted him

Batman: Or anyone in Gotham, for that matter

JLA: ...

Flash: ...

Flash: ... sorry I asked

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

You know those photos of little birds sleeping together on a branch, all cuddled up in a line? This, but its the Order of the Robins from Dark Knights of Steel, high up on some precarious ledge:

(The photos in question:)

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

genderfluid tim drake is eating my brain

—

cass, noticing tim wearing a she/they pronoun pin: girl day?

tim, shrugged: girl-ish day

cass, nodding: down for girls night though?

tim: always

cass: ill call steph and tell her your coming then

—

interviewer: so tim, with your recent more feminine looks at gala's you've got people wondering, are you a girl now?

tim: im whatever makes everyone who finds me hot gay

—

jason: ladies first

tim: im a boy

jason: im never holding a door open for you again

—

kon: so if you're like a boy, girl, and neither... does that mean your my boygirlpartnerfriend?

tim: what the hell, sure

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

do you ever think Dick has to listen to Jason angrily rant about how fucked up it is that the second he left Bruce took in another kid and gave them his mantle of Robin and just kinda. sighs real loud.

Jason: why are you looking at me like that?

Dick: no reason, Robin the second.

Jason:

Jason: i don’t like the words you’re speaking there, Dickie.

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

Guys, we all know Bruce is emotionally constipated. And he would not handle his kids crying well at all. So, I present to you, Bruce and his 'don't be sad' tactics: 12 y/o Dick: Crying in his room bc something reminded him of his mom Bruce, hearing the sobs: 'oh god what the fuck do i do' Bruce, knocking on the door before opening it and setting down a plushy he had a child on Dick's bed, before quickly backing out of the room: 'fuck did that go well?'

Jason: instinctual tears because someone punched him in the nose.

Bruce: walks over to Jason to awkwardly hand him one of the candies he keeps to comfort children

Tim: Burst into tears out of sheer frustration over a case (and bc he's been up for about 48 hours) Bruce: Quietly walks over to put a mug of hot chocolate in front of Tim before getting tf out of there All the batkids have their own experience with Bruce giving them something to stop them from crying. They treasure the little moments. Because Bruce is trying. He is doing his best.

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

I'd eat ur art but it looks like a lot of people have already gotten a bite... is there any leftovers? (btw I love your art and style!)

thank you^^! happy to hear<3

here are some leftover sketches of Dick and Jason I never posted lamo

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

Batfam headcanon

So, I've seen posts of Bruce forgetting his kids are adopted, but what if the batkids forget they're adopted?

Jason and Tim: *fighting*

Jason: You're adopted!

Tim: *gasps* >:0

Tim: So are you!

Jason:

Tim:

Jason: Damn, you're right.

Dick tries making fun of Jason before Jay brings up that one time they were seeing pictures of toddler Bruce with his baby curls and Dick said "Oh, so that's where I got mine from."

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

Headcanon that Jason goes to his grave to relax and absolutely scares the shit out of people

———

Dick: approaching Jason's headstone with flowers, and teary eyes "Hey Little Wing... I know we argued yesterday, and I—I just needed to come here like I used to. Sometimes I forget you're actually back."

The ground shifts slightly beneath him. Dick freezes.

Jason: casually pushing open his coffin lid and sitting up with bed hair and a stifled yawn "Could you keep it down? Some of us are trying to rest in peace here."

Dick: jumps backward, tripping over a nearby headstone and falling flat on his back. His scream echoes through the cemetery. "HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE ACTUAL—" clutches his chest "JASON?!"

Jason: stretching "Who were you expecting? The Joker?"

Dick: scrambling to his feet, voice cracking "WHY WERE YOU IN YOUR GRAVE?!"

Jason: climbing out and brushing dirt off his jacket "It's the only place in this godforsaken city where I can get some peace and quiet. Alfred's always cleaning at the manor, Tim's typing is incessant, and Damian—" shudders dramatically, "—exists loudly." gestures to the coffin "Memory foam. Added it last month."

Dick: still hyperventilating "That's... that's the most morbid thing I've ever heard."

Jason: shrugging "Says the guy who talks to my headstone when I'm not dead."

Dick: after a long pause "...Does Alfred know about this?"

Jason: "Who do you think brings me sandwiches?"

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

happy uh belated death day, jason

from batman annual #25

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

Jason is just a fun lil guy. He loves the thought of fucking around with his brothers like how normal siblings would. Playing extreme tag, making pillow forts, running around in stores with them. He loves the idea. But the bats don't know this because they don't ask. To them, Jason is a big brooding guy who has a moody reputation to keep. Why would he want to do silly little things with them?

So the batkids have all this fun with each other minus Jason, because they don't think he's like that sort of thing, and minus Damian, because he's not interested unless his big brother is there too.

One day, Tim wants to film a TikTok. He goes to Dick, but he's too busy. Dick jokingly says to just ask Jason, and Tim is like: "Yeah, alright." So he does.

Jason: *Reading on the couch in his safehouse*

Tim: *Climbs through window*

Jason:

Tim: "Can you make a TikTok with me?"

Jason, suspicious: "Why me? Don't you usually go to other people for that shit?"

Tim: "Is that a yes or no?"

Jason: "Well, if you want me to.. what is it?"

Tim, pleasantly surprised: "We're going to play rock paper scissors to battle for our food."

Jason: "What-"

Jason and Tim in a weirdly lit, empty parking lot

Tim: "Ok, ok, rock, paper, scissors, shoot" *Rock*

Jason, holding up scissors: "Fuck!" *Starts running like his life depends on it*

Tim: "Haha, ok-" *Starts eating some chicken nuggets* "Hell yeah, these are good."

Jason: "Stop stop stop I'm back-" *Rock*

Tim: *Paper*

Jason, running away: "SHIT!"

The video ends with Jason finally winning a round. He starts to shove as much food in his mouth as he can. Tim trips on his way back and Jason laughs so hard he spits everything out and starts to choke.

Tim goes to Jason to do dumb shit now, and Dick is concerned for the rest of the world, unsuspecting of his brothers' BS.

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

Bruce high on pain meds lying on the couch

Jason: I’m gonna a straight answer here B-man. Who’s your favorite?

Bruce: Stephanie

Jason: What The Fuck?!?!

Dick: Jay he’s high as a fucking kite. Nothing he’s gonna say is gonna make sense.

Jason: Fuck that! I need answers

Jason: Bruce, why is Steph your favorite?

Bruce: Because she didn’t annoy me this week.

Tim: I want to say I’m surprised that he ranks us on who annoys him the least but at this point we all do it

Bruce: Your on the money number 5

Jason: Wait, B when was the last time I was your favorite?

Bruce: Three weeks ago when you didn’t kill anyone for 2 weeks. I was really proud.

Damian: Father who is usually the favorite?

Bruce: Cassandra is usually at the top and then Duke and Barbara are below her.

Jason: Who’s the least likely to be at the top?

Bruce: Tim.

Tim: What?!? Why?!??

Bruce: If you would stop with the constant conspiracy theories and caffeine addiction I wouldn’t have to be worried and less annoyed.

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

Stephanie dying her hair black for an undercover OP

Stephanie: So what you guys think

Dick:

Tim: That is so freaky

Jason: You… you look like Bruce’s mom!

Stephanie: WHAT? No I don’t!

Dick: You do! And it’s so fucking freaky!

Tim: It’s a really fucking eerie resemblance. Are you sure you’re not related to him? Like a distant cousin or something?

Stephanie: Your all fucking insane. I don’t look like her!

Jason: Hold on. Alfred! Can you come here!

Alfred: There is no need to shout Master Jason. Now what is all the commotion?

Jason: We just need to know, does Steph look like Bruce’s mom?

Alfred: Bloody Hell. You do bear a very striking resemblance to the late Martha Wayne, Ms Brown.

Tim: Told you.

Dick: Come on let’s dye it brown before Bruce sees and has a fucking panic attack.

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

Duke's eyes glow brighter than most flashlight. His teeth glow faintly enough to see them in the dark when he smiles. His blood glows a little as well. He sometimes forgets he can turn them off.

Duke at 3 am eating cereal in the mansion, in the dark.

Jason breaking in through the window, seeing two glowing orbs sitting at the table: Holy shit! What is that?

Duke: Huh?

Jason: Duke? Oh my god what's wrong with your face?

Duke: Rude! My face is amazing!

Jason: Why is it glowing!

Duke: Oh, yeah they do that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duke on one of his rare nighttime missions with Steph, Tim, and Jason.

Steph: Shit, I lost my flashlight

Tim: Here, I think Bruce packed me a spare.

Jason: No! Wait, let me try something

Tim and Steph: ??

Jason takes Duke's helmet off: Look that way.

Duke's, eyes being better than any flash light Wayne money can buy: This feels dehumanizing.

Jason: Shh flashlights don't speak.

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

You know those posts about one of Bruce’s kids getting kidnapped and him having no idea which kid they have based on the vague descriptions he’s given? Well now I can’t only imagine Bruce getting the dreaded call and immediately pulling out a guess who board filled entirely with his kids. Like

kidnapper: we have one of your children

Bruce: I have so many of those you need to be more specific

kidnapper: the loud and annoying one

Bruce, flipping down Cass and Duke: that does not help as much as you think it does

kidnapper: well he has black hair?

Bruce, flips down Steph: keep going

kidnapper: uhhhh? He’s short?

Bruce, flips down Dick and Jason leaving Tim and Damian: more specific

kidnapper: he’s been condescending and judgmental since we got him

Bruce: yeah they both tend to do that

kidnapper: he keeps throwing around words I don’t understand

Bruce, realizing that Damian and Tim are significantly more similar than he thought: uhh more specific?

kidnapper: more?? look just wore us the mon— WHERE’D HE HIDE A KATANA???

Bruce: ah you have Damian

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

Metgala had passed once again, and I can't stop thinking about how badly the Batsiblings would judge every look they see. Bruce Wayne taught them to style themselves and be dolls, NOT for this.

Dick, throwing chips in TV: Go, Kylie, go! Give us nothing!

Tim: As the most fashionable sibling out of all of us, I can't stress enough how this pains me.

Stephanie: Be fr, Cass is the most fashionable one, lol.

Damian: Not to appear as Drake's supporter, but Brown, I know that you are not joining us to judge this humiliation ritual, when you wear violet converses with yellow capri pants.

Duke: This year's topic, and the way they handle it, offend me personally. Like. Please. Cassandra, nodding: You would... Slay. Jason: God, I will slay these idiots with my sword, WHAT IS THIS? Another black suit?!

Everyone: *dead silence for a whole minute* Dick, swallowing: That is surely not what I think it is. Jason: I am starting to shoot in a minute. Tim, closing his eyes: I am speechless. Bruce Wayne on their screens, who was invited to the Metgala, but was suggested by the PR-team to wear the most boring outfit, so people would still perceive him as a bimbo with no thoughts behind his big blue eyes: *waving at the camera* Stephanie, scrolling her phone: Oh, that's not a thirst trap edits with this look on my timeline that I see. Everyone: *terrified screech*

[the-echo-of-a-narcissist]

Bruce, introducing his kids at a family Interview: This is my eldest Dick, my second eldest Cassandra, then my son Jason, my second youngest Tim, and my youngest Damian

Bruce: That's my daughter-in-law Barbara, and my other daughter-in-law, Stephanie

Tim: ??? Steph and I broke up forever ago?? How is she your daughter-in-Law?

Stephanie: I may not be dating any of you anymore but I'm the State of daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law is not a family title, it's the friends you make along the way

Jason: I'm not high enough for this shit

Golden boy Dick Grayson: Me fucking neither

Jason: what

Dick: what

Bruce: ??? What do you mean she's not my daughter-in-law anymore?? I was counting on her marrying into the family :C

Steph: Sorry B, unfortunately your son would rather kiss superbitch than me

Dick: TIM IS KISSING WHO NOW

Bruce: >:( We'll talk about that later, right now-

Tim: I don't think that's necess-

Bruce: We'll talk about that later. Right now can't any of you date her?? Jaylad, you're sin-

Steph: HELL NO

Jason, already on his second blunt: You're so funny, old man. I'm literally co parenting my best friends kid. I'm literallyyyy be gay do crime. Haha.

Dick: YOURE WHAT WITH WHO NOW

Bruce: CAN ANY OF YOU JUST DATE HER

Cass, slowly raising her hand like in Hunger Games: I volunteer

Bruce: ...

Tim: ...

Dick: ...

Bruce: This is why you're my favorite daughter 🥹

Cass: Father, I'm your only daughter

Tim: Untrue. I did drag one time, that has to count

Steph: Does this mean I have a girlfriend

Damian: This family is a disgrace

Interviewer: ...