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okay i grabbed this from my tiktok so folks who don't wanna get yeeted over to another app can actually view this thing

(YES THERE IS AUDIO AND THE SONG IS CRUCIAL, ITS WHAT MADE ME MAKE THIS A VIDEO)

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Source

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My boyfriend likes to text me via Siri while driving

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youtubers should do reverse sponsorships. just interrupt the narrative of the video to shit-talk some random company for 1-2 minutes.

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Horsemene of the apocalypse - famine

The animals are always the first to go

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Four horsemen of the apocalypse - death

Death is the only horseman that doesn’t need to mount their horse; they will reach everyone eventually. Who is the saddle for then?

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Four horsemen of the apocalypse - pestilence

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im so fucking stubborn

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Is this where they filmed Dune

my PC keeps growling @ me wen i use it is that normal

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this is the type of work they’re gonna make high school art students study in ten years

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Just discovered the leisure centre in town has a spa you can use for £9.50 an hour so that's this evening sorted

Will it be any good? Very unlikely! Imma find out

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fuck marry befriend kill: operator addition

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So one of my doctor friends shared a story when he was getting his degree that is stupid funny to me, even more so because he finds it so utterly mundane.

He was in a small lab class and they were studying how to read diagnostics on different bodily fluids. The class was about 80% female. When they reached the stage of needing to see semen up close things got… personal.

See, spermies don’t keep super well once expelled from the safety and comfort of their testicle. They’re delicate little guys that are best observed fresh. There wasn’t a feasible way to get enough fresh semen in from reputable outside sources that would be viable to study. And all the people incapable of producing semen of their own to study needed to find samples somewhere.

So the two guys in class were suddenly in very popular demand. The impression I got from him was that of a hunted creature, surrounded by the baying of hounds as they closed in, called for his jizz juice.

The day of class he removed himself to a private bathroom and did what he had to do.

For science medicine.

Later I would go on to take a cooking class at that university and used that very bathroom and while sitting on the toilet I thought, damn, I wonder how many dudes have had to come jerk it in here over the years.