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obsessed with Dan Heng having long hair in his new form because it's one thing with the forced transformation where he didn't really have a choice, but this time, he actually grew it out. Which probably means he does prefer it long and only cut it in the first place because it was the same as Dan Feng's. But now he's doing things the way he likes them and not hurting himself to try and arbitrarily prove he's a good person.

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girls' night

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very very very quick Terravox doodle probably with wrong details lol

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WE ARE SO BACK

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amphoreus' saga of heroes ✧ dan heng • permansor terrae

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I know this might be annoying to some, but I'm definitely in the camp that thinks it's kind of funny. Imo, one of the best comedic gags in The Apothecary Diaries has to be Maomao stroking Jinshi's hair, touching his hands or face, comparing him to the person she respects most in the world, checking up on his injuries, constantly feeding him, making sure he sleeps, scolding him about putting himself in harm's way, and thinking he's the most beautiful man she's ever met, and then immediately catching herself feeling stuff and being like no, absolutely not. Me catching feelings for this dude? Never. And then proceeding to act nonchalant even when they become more open to each other.

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man i really love meowmeow and master jinsheesh

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recharging

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Oh Mao Mao we’re really in it now

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Its shocking how little some people in the fandom misunderstand MaoMao's personality based exclusively on her "cat self."

"Modern AU MaoMao would run a drug cartel" the girl whose number one goal is survival and living a quiet life? Who repeatedly tries not to rise above her station? Who is keenly aware of power dynamics? Who will willingly ignore things specifically so she can live the quietest, least obtrusive life possible?

She would rather work at an Amazon warehouse than be someone sought criminally by the state ffs.

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Something about Apothecary Diaries and the complexity of what it means to have a mother. Something about Maomao and her only memories of her mother being silence or a pain that has nothing to do with her but is reflected onto her anyway, and yet still engineering things so that Lakan, years later, would come to find and marry her. Something about all of the courtesans in the Verdigris House being like mother figures to Maomao, yet never paying attention to her when she cried. Something about Loulan doing everything in her power to not be a mother - taking drugs to avoid it, knowing that to have a child would be a selfish, cruel thing, even down to 'killing' the children who adore her. Something about Jinshi, and both of his mothers - the one who birthed him and the one who raised him. Anshi, and raising him to be mature and older than he should have had to be to be the opposite of his grandfather, the man who victimized her, and Ah-Duo, unable to be in his life because she chose to give him up. Something about mothers not being unconditional and uncomplicated; something about motherhood being absent, ugly, confined by circumstance or by past pain. Something about not wanting to be your mother; something about being too much like your mother. Something about how your mother haunts you regardless.

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Sometimes it's not about sexual pleasure sometimes it's about lying in bed like you want to cry and holding yourself where no hands but yours have been and wanting to use those same hands to rip yourself apart. Sometimes it's about being miserable at your own body and that no one lives there but you. Sometimes it's about wanting to be devoured to be broken. And something about cold hands against your flesh brings you a misery you're so comfortable in. Sometimes the point is to make yourself hurt.

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Everytime I read the apothecary diaries fanfics I can't help but think how it would work in an HSR AU.... Jing Yuan does act awfully similar to Jinshi... (Guy who is obsessed with HSR)

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"Punishment works!!!" We're drowning in three to four generations of people so pants-shittingly terrified of ever being wrong that half of everyone has constructed a worldview wherein they never even consider the possibility that they could be wrong and the other half behaves like one wrong move will make anything or anyone explode violently into a million irreperable pieces. I don't think it works guys

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I have foraging instincts on par in intensity with herding dogs' need to herd. It doesn't matter where we are or who I'm with, if I see a wild berry or edible plant I recognise, you can bet your teeth that I will not rest before I have either picked those things or you have physically removed me from the premises. As much as neither of us want this to happen, I have monkey brain and nimble fingers and excellent colour vision and I just spotted some bilberries. Here we go.

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WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS SCENE

Bc okay you’re Jinshi right? You’re a 18-20something year old noble who just a WEEK ago had to fire this amazing, intelligent, perplexing girl who you’re lowkey crushing on. It was devastating but it’s what she wanted.

And in the midst of your wallowing you have to go play your part at some party the high ranking officials are throwing and you can’t even bother pretending to enjoy it bc you’re still mourning the loss of this awe-inspiring girl. Then this servant comes up to you and you tell her politely to bug off…

And then ITS HER

The very cause for your sorrows. And she looks pretty, not her normal self but still very pretty. And wait…this is a party for courtesans. Why is she at this party for courtesans???

AND SHE TELLS YOU NOT TO WORRY BC SHES NOT SELLING HER BODY OFF YET. BUT YOURE FREAKING OUT BC YOU THOUGHT YOU LET HER GO SO SHE COULD BE FREE TO BE SMART AND SUCCESSFUL BUT SHES WORKING AT A BROTHEL????

So yeah you’re going to buy her out immediately! You’d buy her out a hundred times if you had to. Oh my god, it’s all your fault she even had to reduce herself to this.

She wanted to stay?? She thought she was bargaining her position and you fired her like an idiot.

Oh my god.