the-i-miss-you-log

[the-i-miss-you-log]

Update for like…nobody I guess because no one reads this blog

BUT

Good news, I did not text my ex. Which was a very good thing because they very much had not changed their behaviour and in fact have fallen into a deeper hole of disregard for people’s safety

I’m not sure what to do with this blog. I may turn this into weird ramblings about this or other exes because it’s been a really wild time. Not sure how practical it would be because I’d want to keep the stories mostly vague so I’m not sharing personal details about other people.

We shall see.

Tldr: I did not text my ex in the end, hooray!

[the-i-miss-you-log]

Update: may text my ex, decision still pending

[the-i-miss-you-log]

Getting an ad for a wedding planner service on this blog is so rude, god 💀💀💀

[the-i-miss-you-log]

I miss you. That’s all…I just miss you.

[the-i-miss-you-log]

I miss you. I haven’t written in a while. Part of me wonders if I’ve made a huge mistake. I miss you both so much. But I also know I wouldn’t be able to trust that things would be different.

[the-i-miss-you-log]

I miss you. This is my fourth entry today, or my first entry this morning. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.

[the-i-miss-you-log]

I miss you. This is my third entry today. I miss you so much, it’s unbearable. I wish I could message you somehow. I know opening that door is…ill advised. But god I miss you both so much.

[the-i-miss-you-log]

I miss you. This is my second entry today. I’m so annoyed that I miss you right now. I’m at work and I need to get my brain and emotions together so I can do a presentation. I saw the playlists we shared while looking for music. I saw you still have them saved. I hate that I miss you. I can’t bring myself to delete them yet…

[the-i-miss-you-log]

I miss you. It’s been a couple days since I wrote in here but I do miss you. It’s weird knowing I might never see you again. It’s weird holding all the sweet memories with fondness but still feeling the sting of disappointment at what you did. I need to take your toothbrushes out of the bathroom at some point… I also need to throw away that envelope with your name on it. I remember how excited I was to see your name above my address. How excited I got for the day we would get to live together. I miss what could have been.

[the-i-miss-you-log]

I miss you. This is my first entry today. It hurts less but there are so many little things that make me think of you. I think a weird part of me had hopes that you would find this. So you would know how much I also wish things could have been different. So you would see how close I came to running back to you, how close I came to not breaking things off in the first place. But things are the way that they are. And no one has found this. So, I will continue to send these out into the void until they stop…

[the-i-miss-you-log]

This is my third entry today. I miss you. I miss you so much.

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This is my second entry today but I’ve been thinking about this since yesterday. What are we going to do about the Valentine’s Day reservation…

[the-i-miss-you-log]

I’ve been missing you since yesterday but I’ve been too dissociative to write in here till now. I…yeah. I wonder how you are.

[the-i-miss-you-log]

This is my fourth entry today. I’ve set aside your stuff that needs to go back to you. It’s weird seeing it there and knowing I’m not going to see you again. Knowing why.

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This is my third entry today. I miss you. I miss the life we could have had. I miss the life we wanted. I wish you hadn’t lied.

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This is my second entry today. I miss you. I wish things had been different. You were my world and though I was the one who said goodbye, I wish it didn’t have to be so.

[the-i-miss-you-log]

I miss you. This is my first entry today. I miss you, starlight.