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I think a lot of autistic taking-things-literally goes under the radar because what the diagnostic tests and shit ask about is not what that generally looks like in an adult and often not in kids either and much more importantly it’s not what generally actually causes problems in real life instead of being irritating for caretakers or funny to bullies or easy to diagnose

I have absolutely no issues understanding metaphors or idioms. When someone says their heart is on their sleeve they mean they’re emotionally expressive and openly display their feelings, not that they have a chunk of cardiac tissue on their shirt. I very rarely have issues with sarcasm. I sometimes have issues telling when someone who’s said something mean is about to say “just kidding”, but tbh I think that’s more on them than me.

BUT

My grandmother asked me “Do you know when the trash was taken out last?” and I said “I think Eliot took it out yesterday” and a few hours later she yelled at me for “not taking out the trash when I asked you to” and I was like???? You didn’t ask me????

I dread filling out forms and am crap at filling out diagnostic tests or personality quizzes because there are always questions I don’t know the exact answers to (how am I supposed to know what day I got dental surgery seven years ago?) or don’t understand exactly what they’re asking or the wording’s unclear and they could mean this or the wording says this but I’m pretty sure what they actually meant was this and should I answer what they said or what they meant, and how does everyone else just whip through the form when surely they can’t know all the answers either? Does everyone else remember the day they got dental surgery seven years ago?

I get tangled up by bureaucracy because the rules on the website say that for this you need that and for that you need the other and for the other you need something else for which you need the first thing, and I go in circles for hours or days or weeks or months or years because their stated rules say there is no way to get what I need, and when I talk to somebody else they’re like “just call them?” and I’m like “how could that help? the rules say that what I’m trying to do is impossible”

And all of that? That’s how “taking things literally” ACTUALLY affects your life as an adult. It’s not “haha you think ‘getting under your skin’ means parasites”. It’s “you have real difficulty functioning in the world because everyone else is conveying things through implication and assuming that you know that rules are flexible and questions are approximate and you’re supposed to lie on job applications, and you don’t”.

[the-plural-of-cris-is-crises]

i dont lose interest in favorite characters they just get added to my extra inventory slots

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if you have a popular post on this site inevitably people will tag it with something like “croggles to bringles when they lost the ploogie in ep 10” and it rules. i have no idea what you’re talking about but you’re right this IS so croggles to bringles when they lost the ploogie in episode 10.

[the-plural-of-cris-is-crises]

Spent tonight at a local short film festival. One of the shorts was made by two 12 year olds in their backyard and it was the best short of the entire night

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ever engage with a media you really really liked and thought you were going to become obsessed with but it doesn’t quite lodge itself into your brain at the correct angle and you can just brush fingertips with the version of yourself from the alternate reality where it completely corrupted your every waking thought

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le miserable. there's just one of him

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I don’t crush on fictional characters I crush on the characters together. Dating that one character myself? Ew no. Putting those two characters together like barbie dolls and making them kiss? Yes please

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I had to go to a new town, and since one of my favorite things to do is explore little shops in tiny towns, after I've completed my town task, I start walking around and going in and out of shops.

I go into a used furniture store, but they're remodeling so all the furniture is stacked on top of each other all the way to the ceiling, so I look a little and talk about prices with the two women there, but ultimately thank them and leave without buying anything.

Then I wander further down the street and find a cute little antique store so I wander in. I'm having a good time browsing, but the store is completely empty. No clerk. Which is actually ideal, because it means no small talk or salesman's expectations.

But, when I've been in there for two minutes, one of the women from the first furniture store comes in. And upon seeing my confused face, says, "Oh, I just work at the other place on Thursdays. I own this one. I have a little beeper that alerts me when someone comes in."

Okay then. But now I feel bad, because I'm just browsing and not planning on buying anything, yet I made this woman leave her other job and hustle down here for nothing. Regardless, I look for a little bit longer and then leave.

I wander some more before going into a craft shop, which is also empty, but only for a moment, before the same woman comes out of the back, but in a different shirt.

And she sees my mingled look of disappointment (how many times am I going to bother this woman?) and confusion (how did she get to this one so fast? When did she have time to change her shirt?), she laughs and says, "You must have just come from my sister's antique store."

Anyways, I am now outlawing identical twins in practice and they are also now forbidden from owning multiple stores on the same block.

[the-plural-of-cris-is-crises]

"tumblr humor is only funny to tumblr users" NOT true. those bitches on pinterest love us.

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shut up and look at this photo of Marsha P. Johnson smiling and holding a Snoopy plush.

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*The conditions being:

+He will not kill bugs for you (he won't go out his way to take care of an annoying bug)

+You cannot kill him or bring him any kind of harm

+You cannot remove him from your place of dwelling

+He will mostly be on his web, but sometimes you will find him in other places

+You will find the money near his web when his rent is due

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For the purposes of this poll, "model nuclear household" means one family living together that consists of a mother, a father, and their biological child(ren), and no one else. No half siblings, adopted or foster kids, no other adults living in the same home. The biological parents are the only adults who directly parent the children, and the parents are together, and both alive and present (not in jail, etc).

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[the-plural-of-cris-is-crises]

Pig Latin