the80srewinders

[the80srewinders]

I really didn't want to post this, but I have to. this situation has went way too far.

I forgot to turn off anons on my random blog, @afuckingsystemsthoughts so I logged in again to turn off my inbox. when I did that, I was flooded with hate mail. this was an hour or so after I posted about someone else (not throwing names yet) I got hella asks about her, including some that might be from her. she signed off on one, and the other anons in question look like her typing pattern, so I do think it's her. however an ex friend has been harassing me in my inbox and it wouldn't be past her to fake being this person I'm talking about just to fuck with me.

I'm sure you all know @/stevesfuzzypinkslippers. remy. well, I know she doesn't seem like this type of person, but it's true and I have a witness: she sent a picture of her dog scratch with blood, no warning. and not just to me, but to a minor.

today, I was telling her about the innocent childhood shenanigans I did. nothing nsfw or triggering. keep in mind I've told many of my friends the same things and they found it funny. well, first she says "you were messed up xd" which is really something to say to a child abuse survivor with posttraumatic mental disorders, and says the stories freaked her out. she's also hella sanist- she knows this is a system blog, so we're gonna talk about DID a lot obviously, were in search of supportive singlets as friends, yet she says "don't talk to me about your disorder." she wasn't too welcoming to an alter who fronted either. this is not what we're here for; we're here for supportive system and singlet friends, not ableist singlets. I also have suspicions she's younger than she says. she also posted nudity, which I was triggered by considering my past with surviving CSA and the fact even though it didn't show genitals it came close. I'm scared of her honestly. if you know her, I understand not wanting to end your friendship w her, but if she's done shit to make you uncomfortable, please take this post as a warning and block her. I don't want anyone else to get hurt like we did today.

here are the asks:

[the80srewinders]

exactly.

there's many systems w autism, for example, and hmm look at the ableism they suffer that's prob why.

and people with limited mobility, learning disabilities and young children, especially with one or both of those things, are taken advantage of so much bc of their disabilities.

and to have DID you need trauma, so ofc all systems are gonna have co morbid PTSD

you made a very good point here, and I love it so much. thanks for this post!/pos

fakeclaimers and weirdos act surprised when they hear that many systems have other disabilities. (whether physical, hidden, visible, learning, etc)

as if we have to choose which one we have?

but in actual fact, facing constant ableism AS A FUCKING CHILD is just traumatising and thats why.

trauma comes from anywhere and everywhere, go read a medical paper 😒

[the80srewinders]

You are worth every word of love. Worth every good deed, worth every smile, every tear of joy. You are worth the suns rays and the warm air, you are worth the happiness and the laughter. You are worth everything good and beautiful. Give everyone and anyone this message, go to random blogs, someone you don’t even know, stretch your ask limit, anon or not, tell them they are worth it. Because the world needs more love.

tysm this means a lot 💚 I'll be honest, were struggling rn because of the hate we've been getting. seeing this makes me know there are still good people out there who care and I'm doing something right. you are amazing, and I hope you have a great day. 🫶

[the80srewinders]

Unfortunately, I will be leaving Tumblr indefinitely. I have been receiving too much hate and criticism, but today it crossed the line.

I have struggled now more than ever with my mental health severely, and Tumblr makes my mental health worse. Mostly bc I have no self control and cant stay away from triggers. I have a severe self sabotage streak. I'm addicted to self sabotage and can't stop. No matter how much pain it puts me in.

When we started on tumblr it was our safe space w no hate. But as soon as we started gaining traction, we got more criticism than nice comments. We were always making a mistake it seemed- which growing up "never doing anything right" made some old trauma resurface. I've had flashbacks to trauma I had forgot even happened, trauma that makes me feel unsafe, frightened, and sometimes angry. I've cried in public and tried to hide it because of the flashbacks. I've longed for a hero all over again when I'm not being abused near as badly as I was years ago when I'm having the flashbacks to. Yet I'm mentally just as bad as I was then, with every mental health symptom I had back then and haven't had since coming back. I'm just as toxic to others as I was back then.

I have felt like I'm a failure, worthless, dumb, self centered, not valid, faking, and even an abuser- all these same things I felt before I was even allowed on the internet. I'm feeling them just as severe as I was then.

And the ask about the AI thing really set me over the edge. normally I wouldn't be so harsh over it, but I was sent criticism even after turning off anons and that's what made me even more in crisis completely. I couldn't handle anymore and that pushed me over the edge. Irl our life is rough and has been for the past three months with nonstop criticism and callouts for just existing. We come on social media to escape that, and now were being around negativity 24/7 online and offline. makes me feel even more depressed and like I deserve this because there's no escape from being harassed even online and I have to deal w the same things online I suffer with offline and go online to escape from.

The person who sent the ask criticizing my use of ai to make just one funny picture blocked me. I called them out nicely, they had no reason. They are immature and idc if you send them asks calling them out. You can send as many with cussing and wtv to them, they deserve it atp because I actually self harmed over it and have planned suicide now, not fully bc of them it is pushed me over the edge.

Now, an old friend who I called out for being a very toxic person is sending me asks telling me she's gonna expose me for faking disorders, but today it crossed the line because she sent the n word many times, exposed my real name with a threat that people are gonna find and kill me, and called my friends in the classic rock community here sluts. Below is the screenshots of what she sent, major trigger warning.

my mental health can't handle this. I'll never be stable as long as I have to deal with this. I am going to leave all my blogs except the KLOL fan page, if anyone wants to follow me do it there. And I will be turning off asks for the fan page.

I am dissociating so much I have really bad amnesia of my days and am a walking disaster. I'm so forgetful I'm messing up on important things IRL and it could end in me getting hurt or killed by accident, I'm like a walking dead zombie. this hate doesn't help, and tbh tumblr is a harsh and unhealthy place so I am leaving all my accs except the KLOL fan page.

I'm sorry guys. I just can't live like this.

[the80srewinders]

update: their miserable ass blocked me. lmfaooo oh n they read comments i cant see. if any1 can see pls send screenshots. n i hope they have a life as miserable as they are 😸

hey jsyk using AI is literally killing our planet.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/cindygordon/2024/02/25/ai-is-accelerating-the-loss-of-our-scarcest-natural-resource-water/

"AI uses 9 liters of water per kilowatt of energy"

https://mcengkuru.medium.com/the-hidden-cost-of-ai-images-how-generating-one-could-power-your-fridge-for-hours-174c95c43db8#:~:text=AI%20Magic%2C%20Environmental%20Reality&text=Research%20suggests%20that%20creating%20a,on%20its%20size%20and%20efficiency.

"Research suggests that creating a single AI image can consume anywhere from 0.01 to 0.29 kilowatt-hours (kWh) of energy. That's like running your refrigerator for up to half an hour, depending on its size and efficiency."

https://www.theverge.com/24066646/ai-electricity-energy-watts-generative-consumption#:~:text=The%20figures%20were%20notably%20larger,energy%20as%20charging%20your%20smartphone.

"The figures were notably larger for image-generation models, which used on average 2.907 kWh per 1,000 inferences."

Google's AI used 5 billion liters of fresh water in 2022. That's the equivalent of drinking water for one year than many, many countries on the planet. And it needs to be freshwater for coolant, because non purified water will gum up the coolant systems. Freshwater is 6% of our planet's water. Places are suffering catastrophic drought. It's caught up to California now, the West is feeling the impact now, it's so bad.

AI also generates massive amounts of greenhouse gas.

AI is killing our planet.

uhhh so is everything else?

what about all these new unnecessary buildings, reducing nature and making the planet hotter with the lack of trees and innocent wild animals having nowhere?

what about electric cars?

what about the businesses that keep their lights on overnight when they shouldn't?

what about the lights people keep on overnight even though they shouldn't?

what about the fishermen and pools that waste this freshwater just as much?

what about air conditioning? that uses water too.

and while we're at it, since you mentioned it, what about the refrigerators?

if this is true, ai isnt the only thing killing our planet, just living in it is.

and if youre sending this as hate bc i used ai, i dont like when people use ai in the bad way but it can make some very hilarious images because of its lack of coherence. im using ai to make people laugh (to help) not to hurt. if you dont like something on my page, get the fuck off and touch the grass you claim to care about.

[the80srewinders]

you're welcome, glad you feel represented 💚💚💚

Coining post!

Halfject- an alter who is half an introject. They can be half an introject of anything - a person, character, place, thing, or more.

Do not use this term or flag if:

You're endo or pro endo.

You are radqueer or transid.

You're ableist. This includes anti cluster b

if you're none of that, feel free to use the term and flag! use it in edits, pfps, sysboxes, etc!

flag made by Kelly of the 80s rewinders @the80srewinders

Color meaning:

Two black stripes at top and bottom- being half an introject

Two white stripes in the middle- being half brainmade

Periwinkle stripe- Periwinkle is half blue and half lavender, which represents halfjects because they are half an introject and half brainmade.

[the80srewinders]

You are worth every word of love. Worth every good deed, worth every smile, every tear of joy. You are worth the suns rays and the warm air, you are worth the happiness and the laughter. You are worth everything good and beautiful. Give everyone and anyone this message, go to random blogs, someone you don’t even know, stretch your ask limit, anon or not, tell them they are worth it. Because the world needs more love.

awh! thank you so much!

you are amazing im glad your my bestie 🫶🫶🫶

have a great day ilysm 💚

[the80srewinders]

I’m here for you. Please stay safe, fam! I hate that haters even exist.

tysm, and same.

i go online to escape hate, because majority of my life offline has been and is still filled with it. when i get hate here too, it makes me feel hopeless and like its inescapable. im glad we have your support though.

[the80srewinders]

hey jsyk using AI is literally killing our planet.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/cindygordon/2024/02/25/ai-is-accelerating-the-loss-of-our-scarcest-natural-resource-water/

"AI uses 9 liters of water per kilowatt of energy"

https://mcengkuru.medium.com/the-hidden-cost-of-ai-images-how-generating-one-could-power-your-fridge-for-hours-174c95c43db8#:~:text=AI%20Magic%2C%20Environmental%20Reality&text=Research%20suggests%20that%20creating%20a,on%20its%20size%20and%20efficiency.

"Research suggests that creating a single AI image can consume anywhere from 0.01 to 0.29 kilowatt-hours (kWh) of energy. That's like running your refrigerator for up to half an hour, depending on its size and efficiency."

https://www.theverge.com/24066646/ai-electricity-energy-watts-generative-consumption#:~:text=The%20figures%20were%20notably%20larger,energy%20as%20charging%20your%20smartphone.

"The figures were notably larger for image-generation models, which used on average 2.907 kWh per 1,000 inferences."

Google's AI used 5 billion liters of fresh water in 2022. That's the equivalent of drinking water for one year than many, many countries on the planet. And it needs to be freshwater for coolant, because non purified water will gum up the coolant systems. Freshwater is 6% of our planet's water. Places are suffering catastrophic drought. It's caught up to California now, the West is feeling the impact now, it's so bad.

AI also generates massive amounts of greenhouse gas.

AI is killing our planet.

uhhh so is everything else?

what about all these new unnecessary buildings, reducing nature and making the planet hotter with the lack of trees and innocent wild animals having nowhere?

what about electric cars?

what about the businesses that keep their lights on overnight when they shouldn't?

what about the lights people keep on overnight even though they shouldn't?

what about the fishermen and pools that waste this freshwater just as much?

what about air conditioning? that uses water too.

and while we're at it, since you mentioned it, what about the refrigerators?

if this is true, ai isnt the only thing killing our planet, just living in it is.

and if youre sending this as hate bc i used ai, i dont like when people use ai in the bad way but it can make some very hilarious images because of its lack of coherence. im using ai to make people laugh (to help) not to hurt. if you dont like something on my page, get the fuck off and touch the grass you claim to care about.

[the80srewinders]

it would probably hold up its two middle legs i guess lmao

help that sounds so suggestive 😭

i wonder how an octopus would flip you off, and how one can tell how/if one octopus were flipping them off.

@the80srewinders hmmmmm???

[the80srewinders]

I made a picture of Joe Elliott wearing a tutu with AI but it added a random woman lmao

i shall name her ✨ Ikea ✨

[the80srewinders]

Before the term endogenic was invented, which was coined online, there was the term "natural system." At one time, before there was enough science to prove otherwise, and before the Internet was popular, maybe even before there was Internet, people had an excuse for thinking their plurality was not traumagenic.

But now we have the science to prove endogenic systems are impossible. And these people have no excuse for identifying this way.

I know where to start with people like this. You tell them this:

"You're right about endogenic systems not being a social media trend (at least not fully.) It's just another ableist type of appropriation. You're for demedicalizing DID/OSDD and stopping trauma survivors from getting help. You hate trauma survivors so much, it's like you're jealous of them? It doesn't matter that you have an offline life and do "normal human" things, this was never about being chronically online or social media, this is about being prejudice against trauma survivors, ableist and sanist."

You can keep that as a copy paste to reply to endos with if you'd like. :)

————

Oh my fucking god i dont even know where to start with people like this

[the80srewinders]

relatable (I'm the character who was given the trauma ✌️)

- grayling

[the80srewinders]

Yes, it does exist. And the people who think it doesn't exist just see the media stereotype of "unspeakable horrific unrealistic cult shit" and find it hard to believe it happens. Especially when you hear the inner workings of it- how handlers program alters to stay hidden from the host, to keep the abuse secret, and for the host to have no idea it happened. Society already acts like forgetting trauma is impossible, so of course they wouldn't believe ramcoa exists.

Another reason people don't believe ramcoa is real is because of how discreet it operates. Just for an example, our handler made us his prostitute, he was the sole handler, it all happened in the body's own house, behind everyone's backs, it doesn't matter that he was working with other people to do this. Because nothing was seen, nobody believes it happened. And especially so when you're programmed to forget the ramcoa.

Even though our host doesn't remember the ramcoa trauma, I do. And it made me feel unsafe and scared. I didn't like what was happening to the body. I would look for places to hide and feel personally insulted by what was happening to the body. I felt betrayed because my handler made it seem like I could trust them then did all this horrible shit. By the time the body was 5 we were noticeably dissociated all the time and it made us an easy target for people who weren't involved in our trafficking to manipulate us.

We are real. And we have a wide range of experiences too- not exclusively the RA stereotype. Our trauma is real and so are the organizations who traumatized us.

If you don’t believe RAMCOA/TBMC is a genuine thing, please block me

I’m tired of seeing people post about how “it doesn’t exist” and say that “ramcoa doesn’t exist but the trauma does.” It’s irritating to be told what I went through doesn’t exist and does exist at the same time.

It’s important to hear survivors and to be able to understand that this shit happens and still does. Cults, trafficking rings, etc. they all happen. Just because you think that someone can’t force a system doesn’t mean it’s not possible. Do you know how much trauma that someone faces within shit like that? How easy it is for someone to see that there’s so much dissociation and use it against them?

I’m tired of so many people thinking that ramcoa survivors aren’t real. We are, we exist.

If you don’t believe it, please block me.

[the80srewinders]

LMAO no now this is a cool idea I might take seriously 🤭

Making anti endo alternatives to endo coined or pro endo coined terms.

I'll start with the most common pro endo terms.

Fictoject- an anti endo alternative to fictive, if this word hasn't been coined yet. I've seen fictroject, but we have issues with letters getting mixed up easily when reading, that happened when we read that word, so to make it dyslexic friendly (and for other people with similar issues) I deleted the r.

Factoject- an anti endo alternative to factive.

Partialject- an anti endo alternative to fogtive and fuzztive- terms for alters who are partially introjects.

[the80srewinders]

okayyy ask me anything! in comments or dms ahaha just don't ask anything inappropriate!

[the80srewinders]

1666 NOTES? DAMN I HOPE ITS NOT CURSED

“you’re safe now.”

“you can rest now.”

“you’ve fought so hard.”

“you don’t have to fight anymore.”

“just sleep, okay?”

“i won’t let anything hurt you.”

“it’s over. it’s all over.”

“you don’t have to worry about anything right now.”

“shh, shh, i’ve got you. you’re safe here.”

“i know it was scary.”

“i know it hurts.”

“you’re all done hurting. there’s no more pain.”

“just focus on resting, okay?”

“you need to save your strength.”

“your job right now is to heal.”

“i’m getting you out of here.”

“i’m taking you home. we’re going home.”

“you’re safe in my arms. the hard part is over.”