theaboveaveragegatsby-blog

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and I wear my scars like rings on a tree, there they are, showing my age and proving where I've been so far.

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Pulled a fast one on us 6 year-olds, Disney.

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How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:

*Man walks into a store and finds employee*

Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!

Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?

Man: I never filled out an application.

Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.

Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!

Employee: Well, but that doesn't-

Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!

Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.

Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!

Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?

Man: Well no, but what does that matter?

Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.

Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.

Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.

Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.

Employee:

Man:

Employee:

Man: Fuck you, slut.

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Fuck that. Fuck that right now. I’m going to tell the generation of so called men something right this second. It’s an amazing mystery of the universe. It’s how to never get friendzoned. This is how you do it. You come to the terms that the friendzone doesn’t exist and that the most important thing in the universe is not your dick.

My dad getting real defensive when some guy told him I friendzoned them (via declass)

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Everyone should listen to this band.  This song.  It has nothing to do with Dubstep at all either hahah

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I don't even have words

WTF Cosmo magazine

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I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life.

Voltaire (via ehosk)

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i was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere when the water filled every hole and thousands upon thousands made an ocean, making islands where no island should go. oh no those people were overjoyed; they took to their boats. i thought it less like a lake and more like a moat. the rhythm of my footsteps crossing flatlands to your door have been silenced forever more the distance is quite simply much too far for me to row it seems farther than ever before oh no i need you so much closer 

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Michelle L’amour performs “BUTTHOVEN’S 5TH SYMPHONY”

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This right here defines our generation

Oh my god my prof is late and everyone is chilling and suddenly someone yelled “WHO HAS POKEMON” AND THE CLASS EXPLODED

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It turns out procrastination is not typically a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic as it is often regarded to be. It’s a neurotic self-defense behavior that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth. You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person. This makes failure or criticism disproportionately painful, which leads naturally to hesitancy when it comes to the prospect of doing anything that reflects their ability — which is pretty much everything. But in real life, you can’t avoid doing things. We have to earn a living, do our taxes, have difficult conversations sometimes. Human life requires confronting uncertainty and risk, so pressure mounts. Procrastination gives a person a temporary hit of relief from this pressure of “having to do” things, which is a self-rewarding behavior. So it continues and becomes the normal way to respond to these pressures. Particularly prone to serious procrastination problems are children who grew up with unusually high expectations placed on them. Their older siblings may have been high achievers, leaving big shoes to fill, or their parents may have had neurotic and inhuman expectations of their own, or else they exhibited exceptional talents early on, and thereafter “average” performances were met with concern and suspicion from parents and teachers.

David Cain, “Procrastination Is Not Laziness” (via pawneeparksdepartment)