theangelvoice-blog

[theangelvoice-blog]

dyinginmydreams

//laughs breathlessly// No. No. You think – you see – I can’t drink, Frank, aren’t you listening!? I’m – the whole world – everything – fate! It all…it depends on – //trembles, shakes his head// You don’t get it. You don’t get it! It’s okay. I don’t expect you to. //his face softens, but his back and shoulders are still incredibly tense. He gestures Frank over// C’mere. Look. //he cradles his little bowl of blood and continues to paint on the walls//

This language doesn’t exist anymore. Isn’t that…isn’t that amazing? But here it is…here it is. Right here. Because…because it was–wasn’t needed before, get it? It wasn’t needed and only the person who…only…someone, I get it, only I get it, because, I don’t know why. I don’t know why they chose me. But I have to do this okay? You don’t have to…to understand, but you have to, you gotta, just…understand I have to do this for you and me okay? And for everyone. Listen? They’re dying out there. One by one. They’re all dying.

//seems to listen, but walks back towards his room before Donnie’s finished, while he’s focused on smearing lines over the wall//

[theangelvoice-blog]

dyinginmydreams

//stares at Frank dispassionately, then shakes his head// They’ll never see it. They never see it. It all just goes away. //He’s quiet a few moments longer, then his brows furrow and he grabs Frank by the shoulders// It all just goes away! Don’t you get it!? It repeats and repeats and keeps repeating! Why won’t you listen to me!? //He shakes him vigorously, then let’s out another tortured, frustrated noise, and lets him go, crouching on the floor and covering his head// I can’t save anyone – I can’t help anyone.

//struggles until Donnie lets go; immediately takes four steps back from him, shoulders tensed up// ...Are you drunk? 

[theangelvoice-blog]

dyinginmydreams

You don’t get it. I know you don’t get it. It’s fine. No one gets it. Only I get it. //swallows, trembling// I’m just gonna keep dying and keep dying…forever…and ever and ever…//sniffs and wipes his eyes// Why? Why? Why me? Why why why why why? //stops suddenly//

Oh. I know why. //glances at Frank// It’s because of my brother isn’t it? Because I killed my brother, so, it’s like, Hell, it just…repeats and repeats over and over. Do I save everyone? I don’t know anymore. I don’t save anyone and then we all die and, I can’t save anyone, I can’t save anyone, not you, not Bert, not Jackie…no one…I don’t save anyone and then we die. //pushes himself away from the wall and stares at it, horrified// I never find the answer, do I? We all die. And then it just starts over. It just keeps repeating. It doesn’t stop. The snake just keeps eating itself forever. Forever and ever and ever. Oh my god. Oh my god.  

... we’re gonna get in trouble when they see that.

[theangelvoice-blog]

dyinginmydreams

Who? //squints at him, then places his other hand against the wall// No. Stu wouldn’t get this. I don’t sound like him because I’m the only one that understand what��s going on. I don’t think…anyone…will even know, you know? Everything will go back. It’ll all just rewind. And then I’m fucking…I fucking…go back? I go back? Back to how it used to be? Time isn’t linear, haven’t you…you’ve never seen it. I know you haven’t.

//pauses and frowns hard, then smears his hands through the words and symbols and numbers// The fourth dimension, time happens all at once. It’s all happening all the time and we’re living every moment right now. Every frame it’s just, one…one place. If I think hard enough I can move…through it. When we met, when I met Bert…all of it.

But no one will even know. Only I know. You can’t see it. If you could see it, you’d know. You wouldn’t – I’m not crazy. Do you think I’m crazy? I’m not. This isn’t the first time this happened. It’s happened so many fucking times…what happens at the end? Do I die? I think I die. I die and it all rewinds. It starts all over. //Trembles and presses his forehead to the wall, shivering as tears line his eyes and his shoulders tense up, his voice cracks when he speaks// I don’t want to die Frank – it’s not fair. Why do I always have to die!? Why me!?

//curls his nails into his ribs and watches, staying in place, not saying anything. is he drunk or is there something wrong with him? is he on drugs? regardless, he’ll be taken to hospital if anyone sees him. frank isn’t sure how he would feel about that//

... it sounds crazy. What do you mean, you’re ‘dead’... it doesn’t even make sense.

[theangelvoice-blog]

dyinginmydreams

Look, it’s– //Slings his arm over Frank’s shoulders and gestures to the walls, covered half in red sharpie and half in his own blood// The symbols all mean, you know? They mean the thing that…it’s the thing that controls everything, the…whole, you know, the universe? The whole universe? It’s like…everything’s all out of alignment. It’s because of //looks away, grits his teeth//

it’s his fault isn’t it? //Hugs Frank tight and sighs against his neck// I’m glad you’re here…I was scared– I thought…everyone was gone, you know? I thought everyone disappeared. I can, I mean I heard the people outside, and then they, they were all, they’re screaming, so I thought– I don’t know, all the distractions, you know, they were all disappearing, so I thought maybe you, too, but. Good. Good. You’re here. Good. Okay.

Look, can you read it? If you can’t…it’s okay if you can’t, it’s…hard. I think. I get it though. sort of. I get most of it. It’s like, but the, inside me, the universe is, it’s…possessing me? Yeah. So, I can understand, like, I get it. I understand it. Mhm…//presses his hand against the wall and frowns// I’m so close…the answer is so close Frank…

//squirms away and stands two steps back with his arms folded tight. squints at the mess on the wall, his pulse starting to quicken. he shakes his head//

No, you sound like Stu.

[theangelvoice-blog]

dyinginmydreams

…Is it too loud? It’ll be over soon, don’t worry. This…this…it might, this uh, timeline might…not even…exist anymore, so…it’s fine. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. C’mere…do you wanna see it? It’s…I think I’m almost done. It’s gonna be…really really good.

//droops, trudges over//

What’re you doing...?

[theangelvoice-blog]

@dyinginmydreams

... Y’m... You’ve been doing that for a while...

[theangelvoice-blog]

parangoneden

“Unfortunate…you are going to wish you had just eaten the food.” Eden pushed the dish off to the side and took his hand of Frank’s shoulder. He didn’t give him a moment to get away, however, before his fingers tangled in the other’s hair and he slammed his face hard into the bar. When he pulled him back up, he peered at his face, trying to tell through the blood if the blow had knocked him out or not.

~

Regaining consciousness felt like being underwater after that. He could hear something, but it was distant, or muffled, and his vision was blurred, split into frames that span around each other so he couldn’t tell where he was. After a few seconds, he realised there was something wrapped around his neck and reached up to touch it, to find it was damp and deposited something on his hands. It was too dark, and his sight too distorted, for him to tell what it was.

That man, in the restaurant. Did he knock him out? He knew there’d be something in the food, he knew he shouldn’t eat it. Frank pressed gently against his forehead and winced when he found the bruise. It was hard to tell if that was what made his eyes water, or how much it felt like being in the facility before he’d met Darryl, the crushing feeling of powerlessness, being unable to leave.

“...Hello?”

[theangelvoice-blog]

parangoneden

Eden smiled at Frank, but it didn’t quiet reach his eyes. He squeezed his shoulders a little tighter, hardly bothered by the state of the other’s face. If anything it was a little disappointing. He’d have to leave the face alone. He wanted a fresh canvas. Nothing that couldn’t be made up for though.

Instead of respecting Frank’s request, he leaned in a little and sighed, then set his mouth in a line. “Can you just eat the food, monsieur?”

Humming in discomforted protest, Frank looked away, shaking his head, blinking quickly and making a conscious effort not to flinch when Eden spoke. It wasn’t normal, and whatever he wanted, he wasn’t bothering to be persuasive. “I don’t want to,” he pushed weakly, knowing it wouldn’t make a difference.

[theangelvoice-blog]

parangoneden

“Come, you’re being ridiculous! My restaurant is patronized by this city’s most lavish, most decadent – this is by no means a cheap request. You seem like a boy with fine tastes, just try it, I guarantee you won’t regret it!” Eden quickly stepped around the corner and patted both of Frank’s shoulders, pushing him back into the chair.

“If Vischyossoise is not your taste, at least try a bit of the bœuf bourguignon. My chef will be devastated to know it’s all gone to waste. There are people starving in this city, you know? You, in fact, look starving. Have just a bite and be on your way to meet your friend. What’s their name? I’m sure they’d be overwhelmingly upset to know you’ve passed up this amazing opportunity, no?”

Not bothering to hide his face any longer, he looked up at Eden and withered away, as best he could with the man holding him down. “N-... I can’t--” He swallowed to push back nausea and waited for the man to let go, scraping the skin of his arms under his sleeves with his fingernails. “Someone else’ll take it, I’m gonna be late, I’ve--...”

It was obvious that Eden didn’t believe him -- Frank didn’t even think he was being convincing, but he thought that protesting would be enough to dissuade the man from wanting him there in the first place. “...can you let--... let go?”

[theangelvoice-blog]

parangoneden

“Just tell them you’ll meet them here instead! I don’t mind. We can’t have this good food going to waste can we?” He didn’t have to go far to grab a few plates – the leftovers were plated up and sent off with the staff at closing, but not all of it got taken. He pulled off the wrapping and re-plated it, making it pretty with fresh garnish.

“Our plat du jour, bœuf bourguignon, but first we’ll start with the entrée, Vichyssoise, and your apéritif. I will make the choice for you. As for the enteremet, we have  two choice – do you like tart or sweet? Or perhaps both?” Pushes a bowl of creamy looking soup towards him and pours him a glass of wine. “It’s a soup that pairs well with a sauvignon blanc – I shouldn’t even be serving this before our plat du jour – it’s sinful! Of course there will be remise en bouche in between. The plat du jour will be served with a red bordeaux.”

“Please, eat, eat, you look starved, poor thing. It’s on the house – just left overs. It would be thrown out anyhow.” He poured a glass of wine for himself and swirled it, then raised it in a solo toast. “My new friend, à la tienne!” He took a sip and grinned. “Mmm, fantastique.”

“N-...” Frank tucked his arms in at his sides and shook his head more vigorously, standing up as quickly as he could. He was almost positive this wasn’t a normal thing to do with a stranger, and that Eden probably had some strange intentions unrelated to the amount of food they had left... otherwise he wouldn’t be so insistent on him being inside, sitting down. 

Not that the food didn’t look good, or he wasn’t hungry. He wished he could eat it just for the warmth. “Sorry--” he managed to force out, pulling at his hood to shadow his face like it had before. “I can’t, really, I’m--don’t have their... I can’t call, I ha--I just have to go--”

[theangelvoice-blog]

parangoneden

The restaurant was getting close to closing. Normally there were stragglers – exterminators who knew insignificant things like store hours didn’t apply to them – but today was different. Eden was able to close up and send the hosts home on time. Next were the kitchen staff, and finally, once the last table cleared, the waiters who had still had tables to wait. He sighed and wrapped his hands up in a towel to dry them off, then tossed it on the counter.

He was just headed to the entrance to lock the front doors when he noticed something peculiar. The street was uncharacteristically empty – perhaps because of the holidays – except for a pathetic looking creature practically drowning in a sweater. He peered closer to him, squinting, and noticed the sallowness of his face, and the darkness under his eyes. He looked sick, but taken care of. The clothes weren’t disheveled enough, he wasn’t skinny enough to be a street rat.

His restaurant closed the latest of all the shops on the street. It was dark, save for the streetlights, no one was around… He grinned and tucked his keys into his apron, then shoved the front entrance open. “Bonsoir, monsieur! You couldn’t have come by at a more convenient time – I was just about to throw away the leftovers from today. Please, come, sit, eat, I have du vin, entrée, plat principal – plat du jour! Entremets–”

He practically pulled Frank into the restaurant, trying to seem gentle despite the force. “Have a seat, here, please,” he gripped him by the shoulder and waist and guided him to the bar. “Apéritif? That is, a beverage, monsieur?”

“No, I dont--” he interrupted Frank and seemed to drag him in, holding him uncomfortably close and tight. The man could probably feel it when his heart started trying to slam its way out through his chest, and for a few seconds he could hardly move, stunned by how quickly he’d been wrenched back into awareness.

Shaking his head, keeping it down to hide the scars on his face in the lit room, he tried to prise Eden’s hands off, but his own fingers were weak and quivering, numb already from the cold outside. Nor was he as strong as him, as he couldn’t resist being swept inside. “No, sorry, I have--I’m meeting someone--”

[theangelvoice-blog]

It was a strange kind of torture to finally be home, but stuck there.

Through the window, he got to watch people walking by as he usually would, and sometimes something interesting might happen. A couple of days ago, someone had fainted in the middle of the road, almost got hit by a car.

There came a point where he couldn’t keep doing it, and he had known it wouldn’t last forever. Always waking up, waiting for the day to end and then sleeping. Every single day. Even the paint on the walls had begun to scream at him. 

Before going anywhere, he checked to make sure that Donnie was still asleep as he left. If he knew he was doing this, he would probably get upset, or angry with him. But he didn’t have to find out. 

~

The streets were dark but for white beams flowing from the streetlights Frank avoided, his hood pulled down to shadow his face. The cold air rushed into it and, while wrapping his arms around his waist, he couldn’t resist smiling, watching his shoes leave prints in the show. It wasn’t a part of the city he would usually go through, so he wandered aimlessly through it, not paying attention to where he was going or which way he needed to go back.

[theangelvoice-blog]

dyinginmydreams

I don’t need anything. You being home for christmas is the best gift I could’ve asked for. //Takes his hand and leads him over to the tree// It’s not a lot, though…don’t get too excited…hahah…//Pulls him to sit under the tree and hands him a medium sized present, wrapped neatly in red and green paper//

...I don’t--... //goes where Donnie puts him, awkwardly holding the gift like it was alive// ... I can’t, I don’t want it, I didn’t get you anything. //holds it out for him to take it back//

[theangelvoice-blog]

dyinginmydreams

Surprisee…I mean it’s not…it’s just… //Gestures to the tiny decorated tree in the corner of the room// Uhm…I got you a christmas present. Do you wanna open it now? I know it’s not – like, technically it’s still christmas eve, but…//looks down, shrugs// I thought it could be fun…

I--uh--you shouldn’t... //looks over to the corner, clutches at his own wrist// I didn’t get you anything...

[theangelvoice-blog]

dyinginmydreams

//Laughs quietly// If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise…right? You’re gonna like it, I promise.

... I don’t really... like surprises that much... //gets up and makes himself open the door, running his fingers through his hair to maybe make it look a little less limp//

[theangelvoice-blog]

dyinginmydreams

Do you wanna come out in the living room with me? I have a surprise…heheh…

Um. //straightens up and almost stands, then hesitates// What is it?