thedeviltavern

[thedeviltavern]

i just forgot thomas' last name im so sorry </3

[thedeviltavern]

Alastair: Are we fighting or flirting? Thomas: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck- Alastair: Your point?

[thedeviltavern]

Matthew: Thomas, I rebuke thee! I rebuke thee! Thomas: Rebuke? Is that a word? Matthew: You have all invoked my fury! You will all pay recompense for your transgressions! Thomas: What, you got like a word-a-day calendar or something?

[thedeviltavern]

Matthew: Welcome to Fuck Alastair Carstairs Club, where we all gather together to give Alastair Carstairs a collective fuck you! Now, a word from our newest member?

Thomas, sweating: There’s been a mistake-

[thedeviltavern]

Alastair: Pros and cons of dating me.

Alastair: Pros. You'll be the cute one.

Alastair: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

[thedeviltavern]

Christopher: Oh Thomas, we have a visitor!

Matthew: Don't tell me it's Alastair.

Christopher: It's Alastair.

[thedeviltavern]

Cordelia, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?

Matthew: *grabs and chugs the entire bottle*

Matthew:

Matthew: It's perfume.

[thedeviltavern]

Thomas: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Alastair: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Thomas: But you’re always acting stupid?

Alastair: ...

Alastair: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

[thedeviltavern]

Matthew: I have a bad feeling about this...

Christopher: What do you mean?

James: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to cause trouble?

Christopher: No?

Thomas: That actually explains so much.

[thedeviltavern]

Thomas: Are you really planning to shoot the demon?

James: Don't worry, it's a holy gun.

Thomas: How so?

Christopher: It makes holes.

[thedeviltavern]

Lucie: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Cordelia: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Lucie: Yes!

Matthew: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

[thedeviltavern]

Thomas: This is such a bad idea.

Matthew: Then why are you coming along?

Thomas: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

[thedeviltavern]

Lucie: James, I'm sad.

James: *holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay.

Cordelia: Alastair, I'm sad.

Alastair, nodding: mood.

[thedeviltavern]

Thomas: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

James: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Christopher: I personally was created in a lab.

Matthew: I just straight up spawned lol.

[thedeviltavern]

Thomas: Matthew isn’t answering his phone

James: I’ll call

Thomas: Christopher and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Matthew: Hello?

[thedeviltavern]

Thomas: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?

Alastair: Put spaghetti in it.

Thomas: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.

Matthew: Put spaghetti in it.

Thomas: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.

Lucie: Put spaghetti in it.

Thomas: I'm no longer taking suggestions.

[thedeviltavern]

Matthew: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

James: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Matthew: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING CHRISTOPHER WITH ME

Thomas, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

Christopher, not even knowing what's going on: