thediaryofcatherine

[thediaryofcatherine]

[thediaryofcatherine]

Under the cut talk about school families issues and reporting

When I got picked up from College after having the best day may I add! To getting into the car and not a lot speaking.. my sister reported my mother for hitting her somehow I knew this was going to happen someday not not this soon. Now we have to have all this again they were late because mum was in the office getting ask questions. But the issue is I did the same thing in year 4 now my mother don’t do it.. anymore but I think she not emotionally with it arm she did loss a someone she knew still 16 but this added onto it not helpful. Now my sister thinks this is funny reporting her mother. I don’t really know what going to happen or anything but I was asking her why did she do it she said because mum done but I had no answer just annoying. My siblings are being very rude answering back but stuff like that mum was loss on how to sort them out the house would just be fill be crying and shouting she send them to there room send them to bed early don’t work. I think my parents just need support and that..

Overthinking brain part

I just worried because I am 18 what will happen if them take us away if it get to that part.. What going to happen am I the reason this may go forward. Will I get to see my siblings. I just hope nothing bad happens but they are not bad people I promise.

Feel like I am doing a lot of vent atm hopefully more happy things happen maybe

[thediaryofcatherine]

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀. . . ♡ + ⎙ + ↻ appreciated !

[thediaryofcatherine]

[thediaryofcatherine]

This morning I woke up and I not myself..

In the cut I talk about big feelings myself injury and depression and big feelings! Maybe eating as well!

I was doing fine I pack my bag for college did my hair the boring stuff got into the car so first is my sibling the go to school first because my college don’t open till 9:00 we do something till then like shopping anyway I like to sit quietly with my headphones listening to music while doing so my parent try to talk to me so I said what then he was like don’t worry so I was like just say it! Well now I got a sandwich that I didn’t want and have to eat fast so Ofc I got irritated and said I didn’t ask for a sandwich so now we both annoyed and each other just because I said no to a sandwich but still made it so now I have to eat it like I wanted to. 

Yesterday was the biggest shit day

Also you may see this on my carrot cutie account maybe not

Monday was horrible idk what happened but I feel small and found it really hard to make decision for myself I was getting stressed out because the teacher kept making me pick pick pick and then the bitch starting the game while my friend was in the bathroom so he felt left out!! But I was not playing due to her doing the rules to fast everything was too fast all I hear was my name over over again.. honestly I felt like I was back at school having to do what they say right there and then. It made me sad and stressed out like very. I was slowly getting so frustrated to the point I was shouting at her to left me and stopped making me pick it too much sometimes on the work that. I couldn’t take it anymore I went into the bathroom to cry because everything was too much too much adult stuff I just want to be in bed with my stuffed animal 🧸. I don’t remember but first my Tudor walk in that ask if I okay but I couldn’t say anything like nothing I feel so guilty and bad but I couldn’t talk no word no .. she said she checked on me in around couple minutes. Then my ta came in she was talking I could okay say two work like yes and no but she said she came back as she don’t want to stress me out. Then I just cry a bit. She was in there for awhile it was weird but comfortable not in a weird way then I got out and wash my hands and face and send a picture mirror picture to my friend. I came out and math tutor has swap seats with my ta look like she want to annoyed my friend but my friend just wanted to left alone poor guy. I was doing well trying to do a sign language words search but she join in and made it hard to focus on the one I was doing so I put nod and agreed.

I was also struggling to eat like I look at my food and just feel sick. I guess it were I was stressed and anxious.

Then something click in me and I boken down and the overthinking happened.. just one thing other another just broke me into tears and I can’t cope anymore.

I have some thoughts about my body and sometimes I was to ruin it by doing something to it like.. I keep having self injury coming in my head but I won’t do it or can actually do it. Not going to happen again the reaction was horrible from people who was mean to help me.

[thediaryofcatherine]

[thediaryofcatherine]

[thediaryofcatherine]

Sat in bathroom at college due not know what my feelings are just done hate this college now don’t want to be annoying to anyone. Just cry in bathrooms the best answer lol yes in tear while writing this and my mouth don’t get a words out.

[thediaryofcatherine]

Why is grief so weird?

Under the sea 🌊

No but seriously under the cut I will be talking about deathdeep feelings and maybe more

This is going to be a long one so put your seat belt on

no I mean it

you want me to get in trouble 👿

This all started on Friday 11 July. (He is my coworker husband I knew him still I was a little girl) I knew he was unwell and need more care but on this day he was going to the hospice which is sad but not long after he got there he sadly pass away.. I was being brave because my poor mother was heartbroken to hear the news. The next day I when to work and she (my coworker)came in around 10 maybe later that don’t matter atm and it was heartbreaking to see her in tears like that I gave her a big hug while trying to keep it together. After she when my mother cry onto my boss it was hard to see her like that and I keep it together myself. I been fighting the battle of crying but I can’t in front of her it will brake her. I haven’t really cry about him. I when into the bath today and it hit me and I have very small cry but not like really grieving the loss. RIP you will be miss my crazy Welsh coworker husband.

[thediaryofcatherine]

sighhh

[thediaryofcatherine]

i want summer to feel like this

[thediaryofcatherine]

Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.

[thediaryofcatherine]

Reblog if

reblog this if you support

•trans men

•trans women

•gender fluid people

•Agender people

•aroace people

•non binary people

•lesbians

•gays

•Asexual people

•Agender people

• LGBTQ+

•people that are they/them

•people that are he/him (and are apart of LGBTQ)

•people that are she/her(and are apart of LGBTQ)

•people that are xe/xim

•people that are ze/zer

•pansexual

It was my friends idea to make one of these "reblog if" so I did!:-)

[thediaryofcatherine]

I am actually scared of myself atm. Like I got so piss today so piss I was so close to getting so mad… like I was mad to the point I was crying and crying. I hate how when I am having my period it make me this horrible person when I not maybe.

Like I am losing my temper very quickly my pain are getting worse.

My math teacher was being unfair making me just me do stock taking while other get to choose what they do. I just feel excluded from everything my bestie was doing sometimes for English but the was math teacher Jump on me so quick.

I feel empty right now and keep crying and crying I am not emotionally okay but I will get through it on my own like I always do but I would like to say thank you to my bestie who try to help me even though it very awkward situation.



[thediaryofcatherine]

the sign 🏡❤️🐶🐶🐶🐶

[thediaryofcatherine]

⠀⠀⠀⠀❝ no pride for some of us ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ without liberation for all of us. ❞ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ — marsha p. johnson

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀. . . ♡ + ⎙ + ↻ appreciated !

[thediaryofcatherine]