theevilcactus

[theevilcactus]

Is this the whitest dish ever??

▶️ Watch the full Gastronauts episode on Dropout

[theevilcactus]

why are towels expensive. that’s a rectangle

[theevilcactus]

welcome to the Murdersex zine, a zine celebrating all things sex and murder. but um. we don't want to romanticize it or anything so don't make your submissions too murdersexy. we will do extensive background checks on all applicants and if we decide a past work of yours has too much sexy murder we'll have to remove you, sorry. we have limits, you know, we want a tasteful gory spread you could put on your coffee table, and having the Wrong people in it would kill the vibe (and we condemn all killing! wholeheartedly!)

[theevilcactus]

Possibly the greatest NPR exchange ever recorded

[theevilcactus]

god i never told you guys but a couple weeks ago at work i heard a guy say, and i closely paraphrase, "So I was out with my partner--republicans hate it when i say that. My heterosexual partner Jessica--" and i was straight up crying before he finished his sentence. fully diegetic convergent linguistic evolution live in the workplace

[theevilcactus]

a scene must be included PRIOR to sex where the characters READ their birth certificates OUT LOUD so the reader will know they were born on the SAME DATE to avoid any disgusting AGE GAPS

[theevilcactus]

there's been plenty of pushback against youtube's plan to age-check users by using an AI to analyze everyone's watching habits, but amidst that, i spotted this playlist circulating among some teens:

(picture is a reconstruction to protect the kids identity)

interesting! they're trying to trick the AI by watching videos that have a primarily adult viewer demographic? well im a curious fella so naturally i have to take a look-see, and

[theevilcactus]

When you've been a writer for long enough, commas become more of a spiritual practice than a grammatical one.

Could I explain the actual rules of how they’re used? Absolutely not.

Do I rely on sensing a tremor in the force to tell me where to use them? Yes and this has never failed me even once.

[theevilcactus]

No you don't get it, I'm a Good Person. You don't understand. I'm a Good Person which makes it okay for me to think violently about the Enemy, who is Bad Person. I'm commenting "you should be violently murdered" because I'm Good Person and you're Bad Person. You think saying that to someone is fucked up?? You should be violently murdered, you're probably Bad Person anyway

[theevilcactus]

how can anti be like “no kink shaming” (rule number 8, according to them) and then proceed to shame almost every kink 😭

that is not kinktober. that is a very lame and boring october

also let’s coerce real people into displaying their private information for the sake of fictional characters 😍 (of course, anybody can lie about their age, but this is still such a ridiculous rule lmao)

the poor author is held at gunpoint

[theevilcactus]

to get a job you have to have 10 years of experience in every possible tool and task that could even tangentially be related to what you'll actually be doing and then you have to prove that you're the smartest person in the world and you're organised and proactive and have great problem solving skills. and then if you beg on your knees like a dog enough and actually get the job, the entire first week will be doing spent reading shit like: 'MANDATORY HEALTH AND SAFETY TRAINING: if the floor is SLIPPERY or BUMPY, you might TRIP. this is BAD. please take this test to check your knowledge. question 1: is tripping bad? yes/no'

[theevilcactus]

The UK government did an investigation into the porn sites that haven't yet implemented the age verification measures and they...I shit you not, they published a list. A LIST of all the porn sites. That you can still access without having to verify your age. They made a government employee make a list of all the porn sites and check if they have age verification and then they published a list of those that don't. For all the public to read.

[theevilcactus]

If YouTube’s new AI flags you as “underage” and asks for an ID or your face, DO NOT GIVE IT TO THEM.

Uninstall the app. Close the browser. Leave a 1 star review on the App Store and/or Google Play Store. Call them if you can, and don’t email as there aren’t any humans that see those.

Let them know that this new policy unfairly targets gamers, those with autism, those who watch cartoons, etc. It was never about protecting the kids.

[theevilcactus]

[theevilcactus]

to all those who celebrate

[theevilcactus]

it’s creepy that so much Art About The Pandemic is about being bored and isolated at home and sourdough starters and not about. people getting sick and dying.

[theevilcactus]

here's the story. i know expressvpn has been recommended in some 🏴‍☠️ how-to posts but it is not trustworthy. the parent company, kape technologies, not only used to distribute malate but has ties to multiple state surveillance agencies. and be careful where you look for info about good vpns, because kape technologies owns a bunch of "vpn review" sites too