theflappinbox

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I can't be the first to make this connection

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reblog if you’re gay, shy or a fucking idiot

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if i got jigsawed and woke up in some moldy room with a makeshift bear trap on my head or whatever i wouldn't even let it phase me. i'm not willing to be taught lessons i'm not paying attention to a puppet. i would close my eyes and visualize abstract forms in jewel tones until a machine tears me asunder. now we've both wasted our time and you won't be able to return anything in this room to ace hardware. what did YOU learn, old man

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I think the only person I've met in real life with 100% career satisfaction was this gal I knew who was a presenter at a children's science museum and delivered every line like she was running a WWE match. Every time you passed the room where she was giving a presentation, you'd hear something like "WHO'S READY FOR CEPHALOPODS?!?" and the kids would go absolutely nuts cheering.

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osha compliant blowjob

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It was funnier in my head shshsb

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i love it when people can't finish telling a joke or a story because they are laughing so hard. they get the giggles and whatever they are saying is absolutely incomprehensible. nothing could be as funny as watching them struggle through it, nothing could be as infectious as their joy. truly a wonderful human moment

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This is what Rasputin would've wanted.

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Actually I love that Tolkien decided to include Tom Bombadil. What an amazingly unhinged decision. Literally 5 minutes out of the Shire Merry & Pippin almost get eaten by a sentient evil willow tree but there's just Some Guy who's In Charge of the trees and tells it to let them out. He's older than elves and the river is his wife. Also he's immune to the ring, the thing that the preceding 120 pages and following 800 pages are entirely about and he literally never shows up again. Everyone's like "oh he's God" and Tolkien was like NO he's not God he's literally just a Guy and I don't know what he's doing there either he just wants to be. Incredible. No notes.

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Hashtag ME!

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thinking abt that specific type of intimacy from being in someone’s bedroom for the first time, & you’re poking around their items, & they’re reclined backwards on their bed telling you all the little stories while they follow you around the room with their eyes, & you feel it