thegenderdruid

[thegenderdruid]

ultimately the best way to prevent abuse is to organize society in such a way that everyone's needs are met wothout having to rely on a parent or employer or boyfriend or any one individual. obviously wont stop, like, manipulation or so on, but the ability to dangle basic needs over someone's head is one of the most powerful and consistant tools of abuse out there. if someone is able to just leave, and know that they will have access to food and shelter and clean water and education, that will enable so, so mamy victims of abuse to do just that.

[thegenderdruid]

Someone should publish a pronunciation guide for bookish children with words like boatswain, victuals, epitome and so forth. It could probably just be a slim pamphlet, but it would save a lot of nerds a lot of embarrassment down the line.

[thegenderdruid]

On the job as a priestess. Some dope comes in asking to be blessed on her forthcoming journey as part of the entourage of the outgoing magistrate for Neustria. By ancient tradition and the sacred bylaws, my goddess must be invoked directly for this blessing. I scowl. I hate this part.

I recite the formula of invocation, the formula of polite requests, and- nothing. The petitioner has tears in her eyes. "It's not you, it's her," I tell her. There is nothing for it.

I step over to the shrine itself, the subordinate home of a god, and I hammer on the shrine with my fist. "Get up, you good-for-nothing! Deadbeat goddess, most supreme NEET among the gods, you have a humble devotee who wishes to shower you in praise and temple fees! I serve you freely and voluntarily, you know! I could walk at anytime and leave you to be tended by some political sinecure! Goddess with the failgirl priestesses, that's where you'll be!" And some other things equally gentle and forbearing.

She manifests once I pause for breath, seven feet tall and sticking her tongue out at me. The petitioner looks from her to me, back again. My goddess pats her head. "Thy devotion is heartening. Mine servant shalt grant thee the boon thou seek'st." My scowl doesn't fade. She only uses the archaicism when she's feeling really bratty.

[thegenderdruid]

damn.

[thegenderdruid]

"whoa there pal! looks like your favorite web service is getting hit with enshittification. you should try this NEW PLATFORM, that is only mildly alike in function, has no stable source of funding, and is being ran by some people in their home office as a hobby. this will be a long-term solution for you that you can build a community on, i promise!" <- sentiment i see a lot on here lately. like. lol

[thegenderdruid]

>two parts oatmeal one part milk

that shit goes down smooth as silk

>two parts oatmeal one part rice

kinda weird but could be nice

>two parts oatmeal one part stew

now it's getting hard to chew

>two parts oatmeal one part mole

um no thanks i'm really full

>two parts oatmeal one part mouse

what the fuck dude leave my house

>two parts oatmeal one part arm

where'd that come from who'd you harm

>two parts oatmeal one part ned

who is that oh god he's dead

>two parts oatmeal one part gourd

oh fuck yeah i'm back onboard!

[thegenderdruid]

the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

[thegenderdruid]

[thegenderdruid]

Assume that you will remain in reasonable health and that humanity will continue to exist

[thegenderdruid]

[thegenderdruid]

I definitely didn't have "Sam Reich has a fully composed rap accurately summarizing Beowulf ready to go at the drop of a hat" on my Game Changer bingo card for this season but I'm extremely here for it

[thegenderdruid]

one of my favorite things about going to wrestling shows is how you get to be a hater but in a safe way where nobody is hurt by it because it's not only accepted that you boo and flip off the heels but even expected, I think having a safe outlet for just being a mean asshole to someone without actually hurting anyone for real is really healthy and fun and this is the only outlet I've ever had for that, some people do it at sports games but that's always felt rude and mean to me still whereas it's just totally normal at wrestling shows

[thegenderdruid]

me: morning people aren’t just the kind of people that wake up earlier, but they are also the kind of people that are able to get more things done in a shorter window of time, since “morning” is a shorter part of a day than “night” is

the handsome mage woman who just pulled me out of a demonic skeleton pit and revived my wounds: do you think the morning might seem like a shorter part of the day to you because you don’t get up very early?

me: no it’s definitely that other thing I said. did you still wanna make out btw

[thegenderdruid]

RPG-style video game where if you keep any item in your inventory for too long it spontaneously moves over to the "Key Items" tab and can never be used, sold or discarded again because the player character has attachment issues.

[thegenderdruid]

I had a dream that I witnessed something so funny that I needed to draw a comic about it, but nobody in the dream wanted to have a look at the comic or read it. I don't remember anything else about the dream but I needed to draw the comic and show y'all what it was.

[thegenderdruid]

[thegenderdruid]