thekijs

[thekijs]

Fizban?!?

The bird whisperer

(via)

[thekijs]

don't worry, legally they still have to pay you for the whole day

guys what if they kill me at work today

[thekijs]

[thekijs]

“Many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, ‘What do I care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.’ Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.”

— Vincent Van Gogh

[thekijs]

...what is the "sex is just rock climbing" category

It was kind of a joke between me and a friend ("you wouldn't judge someone for having gone rock climbing with a bunch of different people") but honestly the more I thought about it the more I bought into it unironically because:

It is a physical activity done with one or more partners

You should only go rock climbing with people you trust to not let you fall

You should not go rock climbing with someone who is drunk or currently incapable of rational decision-making

Some people get super super super into rock climbing and do not shut up about all the places they have climbed and how many are left on their bucket list and these people are usually men between the ages of 20 and 35 and like it's fine dude I'm glad you're happy but I don't know what most of those mountains even are

While many consider it a fun activity, pressuring someone into climbing when they don't want to (or ignoring their feelings and just dangling them off a cliff,) could cause both psychological and physical trauma

There is no moral value to it whatsoever. Who you have gone rock climbing with (or whether you have rock climbed at all) has no bearing on who you are as a person. Imagine telling someone "it's not that heights make you nauseous, it's just that you haven't found the right person to belay you!" or "you need to save your first time rock climbing for someone special." That would be absurd.

For some people it is a deep and moving personal experience.

historically I have not asked myself "will this aggravate my hip flexor injury" before participating when perhaps I should have 😔

[thekijs]

So the answer is no. A group that is just improv actors would not be successful con men.

You also need at least one sales person for short cons, who knows how to push a scene towards a specific ending regardless of what curves the other person throws in, and one writer for long cons, who will handle doing the research to get all the details just right and identify the motivation and character traits of the mark to manipulate them properly.

Working my way through Leverage for the first time and given how effortlessly all of them can jump into character out of nowhere, I feel like it raises the question “Could any improv group become effective con men and, if so, how long would it take for them to realize that?”

[thekijs]

my dog came and got me while I was getting ready for work this morning, and she was signaling that it was Very Urgent. I followed her downstairs thinking something was wrong with my senior dog or my partner but the minute my foot hit the bottom step my partner loudly asked "Did she come get you, too?"

"She did, what's wrong?"

"She wants you to look at the frog."

"...The frog?"

"Yeah. The frog."

"There's a frog?"

"on the window, yeah"

so she was standing in the corner staring at me VERY expectantly and somewhat impatiently, so I walked over and she immediately turned her attention back to the window and sure enough. very high up. and very small. there was a frog.

keep in mind that bigfoot himself could be in the yard outside and this dog Would Not Care. but god forbid a frog catches a vibe on the window I guess. anyway. glad my dog deemed this worthy of my attention

[thekijs]

I find the drama, gravitas and ritual that's built up around poker over the years - the specific green felt topped table, the drinks, the cigars, the dark room, the terminology, all of it - to be so funny because the actual game itself is based around preschool level number and colour matching, and then trying to convince people your cards all match really well.

Like, the game does seem very intimidating, and the lying part can actually be quite tricky because you can get to a high level of skill there, but the actual rules mostly boil down to "try and match the same symbols or numbers, or get numbers all in a row, and whoever has the most impressive matching set wins."

TV show people writing poker scenes putting layers of intricate symbolism and push-pull back and forth conflict and strategy between characters into every hand and combination of cards. Me watching it: whats a flush is that good.

[thekijs]

[thekijs]

Gosh.

Must be rough for them.

[thekijs]

They hate me for my redundancies. And also for my tendency to say the same thing but in slightly different ways. And for my repetition of phrases. And for my redundancies.

[thekijs]

okay now I'm curious and I dunno if this is really such an archaic foreign thing to young people today or if I'm just out of touch

Please reblog, I'd love to see a lot of responses!

[thekijs]

Of course this result is, absolutely 100%, a win for the Animorphs. Better result than any version of canon. So I suppose stacking the odds like that worked out for them?

Who'd win if the Animorphs fought Sailor Moon and the girls?

I don't have nearly enough up-to-date Sailor Moon knowledge to answer this one. Does anyone else who knows both series want to weigh in?

[thekijs]

I will trade you the 34 Celsius with 94% humidity we had here in Canada yesterday?

It's 7.6 celcius rn, which is unbearable to me, an Australian but I realise to those who experience Low Temperature, it's probably temperate. I don't fuckin know, man.

[thekijs]

Here is a happy child....

[thekijs]

Ok hear me out - I agree entirely with this but also...

From middle school age onwards, Bruce was raised by a retired British SAS operative, and while Alfred would never swear in front of young master Bruce he's also shown to have maintained contact and stayed in touch with some of the chaps he worked with, and I refuse to believe that Alfred just had zero social life for most of a decade until Bruce moved out for university.

What I'm saying is that Alfred probably had some of his old mates over for drinks and such on any evening they could manage to be on the east coast of the US. He wouldn't go out, needs to be home for Bruce, but the manor is more than large enough that once Bruce is off to bed a few old soldiers breaking open a bottle or two of the good stuff won't disturb anyone in another wing of the house.

So picture ten year old Bruce Wayne, carefully hiding by the top of the stairs, quiet as a mouse so none of those unfairly sharp ears notice him — They're all old! They shouldn't have hearing that good! So unfair! (sneaking past Alfred was a far better primer for his stealth skills than Bruce realized) — and as a result Bruce's internal monologue includes not just all that New Jersey influence, but also the entire lexicon of swears and cursing that a collection of old English soldiers could accidentally teach him.

Okay guys I want everyone to hear me out on this one okay? Bruce may be rich but he was still raised in new jersey. I need you all to know the only reason he doesn't act or sound like it is because he was raised in high society. I need you to know that I firmly believe his internal monolog in no way matches any actual words he says out loud or anything he would actually do.

*the JL arguing over how to go about getting information from some criminal*

Hal: okay and how would YOU go about this spooky?

Bruce, in his head: I say we force the information out of him, light him on fire and throw him in the harbor, where he will continue to burn because Gotham is a shit hole and the water is so polluted we have to out source water for the fire fighters.

Bruce, actually speaking: we follow protocol and turn him over to whatever law enforcement that has jurisdiction over him.

*bruce and Clark arguing over something petty in their personal lives*

Clark, trying to end the fight somewhat amicably: I just don't love it, but I will respect your opinion on the matter

Bruce, in his head: and I 'just don't love' that you're acting like a little bitch about it BUT HERE WE ARE FUCK FACE

Bruce, out loud: Hn, let's move on

*batfam comms during a slow night*

Dick: do you think the rogues finally figured out that they could spend their time doing something more productive to avoid getting their asses kicked?

Bruce, internally: i doubt they'd be able to figure that shit out if it jerked them off and bit them in the ass

Jason, three blocks over: are you fucking kidding me? Most of them wouldn't be able to figure that out if it came to them as a swift kick to the head, let alone a stray fucking thought

Bruce: hood, language.

Bruce, internally: that's my fucking boy :)

[thekijs]

the ‘kind character snapping’ trope has been co-opted by too many people who don’t understand it fundamentally. you can’t have your character actively think of themselves as that kind of person bc that makes it like bragging. ‘you wouldn’t like me when i’m angry 😡’ ’no more mister nice guy 😈’ ’demons run when a good man goes to war 👿’ ’honestly i scare myself sometimes 😰’ WROOOOOONG. those are all threats. first off a truly kind character should be humble and not even consider kindness a thing of theirs. and second off please. if they’re truly gentle they should be ashamed of the very thought of their own wrath and not like openly talk about it. yeah i bet they do scare themselves and others when they finally get pushed too far but like don’t have them say or consciously think that without shame… it should be like a tragic thing that happens to them against their will and not like an alter ego they’ve been gleefully looking for an excuse to slip into