theorist-of-conspiracy

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

instant coffee made with vodka.

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

well fuck me, man

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

I asked if anyone gonna draw genderqueer Vietnamese tim drake and did not wait

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

usually the fangs just pierce the skin and they lap up the blood with their tongue

Y'know how parents joke about their kids being vampires when they stay in their room all the time and don't go out (likely depression btw but I'm not a doctors don't listen to me) (also my parents never did this because they weren't around enough but this ain't about them)

What if I became a vampire

For fun

Just because

Like... I'm so certain vampires are real. With everything that does exist, there's no way vampires don't...

Just think about it

Especially my boyfriend. Bernard, think about it!! Fangs!! Fangs are cool!!! Think my eyes would turn red or something? I'd be allergic to the sun, but- oh maybe that's a myth? We'll have to find out!!!

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

hhrhf. Fangs.

Y'know how parents joke about their kids being vampires when they stay in their room all the time and don't go out (likely depression btw but I'm not a doctors don't listen to me) (also my parents never did this because they weren't around enough but this ain't about them)

What if I became a vampire

For fun

Just because

Like... I'm so certain vampires are real. With everything that does exist, there's no way vampires don't...

Just think about it

Especially my boyfriend. Bernard, think about it!! Fangs!! Fangs are cool!!! Think my eyes would turn red or something? I'd be allergic to the sun, but- oh maybe that's a myth? We'll have to find out!!!

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

//

I really wanna join the stupid gala thing but I am a rotten coward and would start crying profusely if I didn’t get any interactions.

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

okay bye I have. school stuff to do!

important question would you still think I was cool if I was a worm.

-@theorist-of-conspiracy

I'd still marry you if you were a worm and have you worm babies :)

I'd even make you a cute little garden space and feed you whatever worms eat and if anyone tried to hurt you I'd set them on fire!! :D

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

crashing out because I miss my boyfriend(s)

mostly kon I haven't seen him in three billion years

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

you're so weird okay yay

important question would you still think I was cool if I was a worm.

-@theorist-of-conspiracy

I'd still marry you if you were a worm and have you worm babies :)

I'd even make you a cute little garden space and feed you whatever worms eat and if anyone tried to hurt you I'd set them on fire!! :D

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

okay fine. hug!

"rotating [ ] in my head"

Yeah well I'm rotating your mom in my bed

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

imn fiiine birdbrain I was messing with you.

"rotating [ ] in my head"

Yeah well I'm rotating your mom in my bed

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

GOOD.

"rotating [ ] in my head"

Yeah well I'm rotating your mom in my bed

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

dude

"rotating [ ] in my head"

Yeah well I'm rotating your mom in my bed

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

my mother is an awful person.

"rotating [ ] in my head"

Yeah well I'm rotating your mom in my bed

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

seriously.

ITS CALLED THE ICEBERG LOUNGE BECAUSE HE'S PENGUIN ITS TAKEN ME SO LONG TO FIGURE THAT OUT GEEZ SOME DETECTIVE I AM

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

the first one and it’s called a freaking monocle

there’s a gala happening. ????

[theorist-of-conspiracy]

I willingly . Joined a cult??? Nobody did this, I’m fine.

I need. A cigarette. I have not smoked in three billion years. I am so stressed out.