thepearlescentdragon

[thepearlescentdragon]

In this life, I don’t want any kids.

But I didn’t expect to think long enough to mourn the ones I “had.”

[thepearlescentdragon]

I've been going full Doctor-brain when I'm high lately and I think it's making me a handful. Talking a million miles an hour and completely incapable of keeping my train of thought on the damn tracks but also KINDA COOKIN' NOT GONNA LIE

[thepearlescentdragon]

I keep having nightmares of home and I have started to feel like I deserve them. They feel like penance. I can’t seem to believe that I deserve anything better.

[thepearlescentdragon]

writing meaningful things in gallifreyan: 🚫

writing shitposts in gallifreyan: ✔️

[thepearlescentdragon]

Oh yeah, sure, Iʼll check this thing out! Like whatʼs the worst that can happen? *gets kin feelings* Fuck

[thepearlescentdragon]

not to get sappy but the otherconnect discord community has been so helpful and kind lately

with how things have gone for me identity wise, i'd truly be lost without such an uplifting and supportive group of creatures

[thepearlescentdragon]

Turning 31 in a few days

Which doesn’t seem like a lot when all the creatures you identify as live at least for hundreds or thousands of years

But it’s a good chunk of a human life gone by and means there’s much less left to live, so I’d be lying if I said aging wasn’t freaking me out just a little

[thepearlescentdragon]

Realized I never did write an essay about my fictionkin awakening like I did with my dragon identity. Think I'm going to start that, actually. Perhaps recounting my experience might help me put things in chronological order and make sense of myself better.

[thepearlescentdragon]

Shout out to fictives who feel uncomfortable and exposed by the fact that their sources exist as public media that anybody gets to see. The fact that anyone can just pull it up and see all of your history and traumas and mistakes, without your say or even knowledge. The fictives who don't even feel they're allowed to be upset about it because it's "just fiction" and therefore doesn't matter. Who feel like less than "real people" because of it.

We see you. You matter.

[thepearlescentdragon]

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

Shit.

[thepearlescentdragon]

So uh. I’ve always thought fictionkin stuff was something that happened to other people but not me and I’m still somewhat confident in that. But.

Well. I have no idea how it works, so could anyone who has that going on explain what it’s like for you? I know there’s a lot of different ways people experience it, and I wanna hear as many different versions as possible

[thepearlescentdragon]

I keep trying to distract myself from the heavy emotions and then having to stop myself.

I know it’s not going to help. I know I need to just feel.

It just hurts sometimes. Scary, you know?

[thepearlescentdragon]

There is nothing more beautiful than learning how to do something for the first time.

Every mistake you make along the way is a masterpiece.

[thepearlescentdragon]

YES!

I greatly enjoy being called “The Doctor” / Doctor, by anyone. “Theta” is another one I appreciate hearing specifically from close friends, or any friends who are also ‘kin from my universe.

I’m far enough removed from the origin of the nickname in this life that “Theta” is just a more intimate or sentimental nickname for people who “get” me now, instead of it being associated with time spent in the academy (something I don’t actually look back on fondly and try not to associate myself with unless necessary or particularly relevant)

So TLDR - “Doctor” is 10/10 but “Theta” makes me feel very seen and less homesick when the right people use it.

“Theta Sigma” however just sounds like I’m in trouble. “Oh fuck, mom just called you by your first AND last name, you’re BUSTED!” kinda vibe. Hilarious for jokes but not something I would want in more everyday contexts

i have a question for the fictionkin here, do you like to be called by your kintypes name? i’m sure that this is different for fictives, but you guys can answer too :)

[thepearlescentdragon]

I decided to stop being a wuss and try to learn at least one of the systems for Gallifreyan.

It’s a little difficult for my silly little ape brain, but I just started crying because I understood it well enough to identify a typo in an example of the Sherman Gallifreyan that appears on the official website

And identifying that typo helped me understand the cipher better

I’m really emotional (positive) about this right now

[thepearlescentdragon]

Times like this, I wish I had in-person Whoniverse fictionkin I could spend time with. Talking about this shit over coffee would probably do a lot for me, but the odds of this happening are practically zero. I don't think there's a lot of us in PA, lmao

[thepearlescentdragon]

I do have this little thrifted round wooden table I don’t use anymore.

Hmmm.

Really want (need, honestly) a TARDIS console in my house somewhere.

I’m not very handy though. Wonder if that’s something I could pay someone else to do

If I try to do my own it’d just be a custom one with random features. If I commissioned it I’d have it be a replica of an actual show console, just don’t know which one.