therealcharlesthesecond

[therealcharlesthesecond]

Quick question, what the FUCK is wrong with you?

What was that? Who do YOU think you are to question ME? As you well know… peasant… defying me will result in TREASON. Then who would be laughing? It won’t be you. So ask yourself, vile insect, what would be the matter with YOU? Why feel the need to mock, belittle, and ridicule a KING? is it because you are afraid of my rule? Filthy little morsel. Thou shalt NOT bequeath me with your pathetic insults. Not Charles II not Charles II NOT CHARLES II!!!!!!!!! I’m starting to get angry now. Barbara will not like this. SHE WILL KILL YOU. Barbara is thirsty for blood. YOUR blood. And daddy makes sure that Barbara gets what Barbara wants. So sleep with one eye open, indolent fool, because she is hunting. She will find you. HeehehehehahahaHEHIHIHIHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAMUAHAHAHAHAHAGAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGh. Sorry I got a bit giggly there. Barbra will not be best pleased. She is going to tell me to go back for my weekly tetanus shot. I’m starting to have suspicions. Nobody needs a tetanus shot every week. Oh well. She is coming. But do not say that I haven’t WARNED you. She is watching. And she knows.

[therealcharlesthesecond]

Why do u keep changing ur mind about the wig? Was it made of pubes or what?

God FORBID a whimsical guy be a little indecisive

[therealcharlesthesecond]

Used to love a pair of those Technicolor thotpants in the good ol’ days (1663)

[therealcharlesthesecond]

MY IMMORTAL | CHARLES II VER (chapter 2)

The next day I woke up in my chambers. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the curtains of my bed and drank some leftover wine from a goblet I had. My bed had black and red curtains and inside it was Labrador pelt with black kitten fur trimmings on the ends. I got out of my bed and took of my giant I HATE PURITANS t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black suit, a catholic cross necklace, red buckled high heels and my black wig on.

My friend, Barbra Streisand knocked on my door then and grinned at me.

She flipped her long waist-length blonde hair and opened her forest-green eyes. She was in her matching I HATE PURITANS t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. She was wearing her makeup (pink lipstick foundation, lashes and eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Oliver Cromwell yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Oliver?" she asked as we went out of my chambers and into the Great Hall.

"No, I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah, right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Oliver walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtatiously.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Johann Rudolph Ahle is having a concert in Stratford." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love JRA. He is my favorite musician, besides Christoph Bernhard. "Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

[therealcharlesthesecond]

My immortal (Charles II ver)

Hi my name is Charles Francis James Douglas Stuart and I have long ebony black hair (but that's NOT how I got my name) with a wig made of pubes that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like I have syphilis (AN: if u don't know what that is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Charles I but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I have pale white skin. I'm also the king of england, and I go to a magic school called exile in England where I'm in the ninth year (I'm 395). I'm a catholic (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly unethically sourced finery. I love Woolworths and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a three piece suit: a red waistcoat, matching breeches, and a coat made from slaughtered puppies fur. I was wearing a cravat, and of course i was wearing my wig. I was walking outside. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of puritans stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Charles!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Oliver Cromwell!

"What's up Oliver?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

[therealcharlesthesecond]

HIS MAJESTY THE TOP SHAGGER DO YOU APPROVE OF THE AO3 FICS PEOPLE MAKE ABOUT YOU

YES I DO!!!!! ANYTHING FOR ATTENTION

[therealcharlesthesecond]

GUYS THE WIG WASNT MADE OF PUBES THEYRE LYING THEYRE LIARS THEYRE

[therealcharlesthesecond]

The ladies are always looking for me to entertain them, you don’t need to remind me

[therealcharlesthesecond]

Just received another prophetic vision. England will be eradicated 9th December 2025.

[therealcharlesthesecond]

✠ 𝓐𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 ℳ𝐞 ✠

𝕹𝐚𝐦𝐞 Charles II (can go by Charles, Mr Charles The Second, The Fittest King, Top Shagger, Your Majesty, Your Highness)

𝓐𝐠𝐞 395 beautiful years young

𝖎𝖓𝖋𝖔 I am the physical embodiment of Charles II, I have memories from when I was him in a past life and I wholeheartedly believe that I am both himself and in a relationship with him, as he lives within my own body. Anyone that disagrees with this and aims to defy my rule shall be prosecuted for treason and potentially regicide.

𝐃𝐍𝐈 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

✠ Charles II antis

✠ Women (I'm not sexist I'm just a misogynist)

✠ Capricorns (my ex was a Capricorn)

✠ Those who harbour distaste for the French

[therealcharlesthesecond]

Crashing out because these HOES keep calling me inbred<<<<

[therealcharlesthesecond]

Your majesty do you like Isaac Newton

Didn’t particularly like it when he invented gravity but he’s a solid 10 looks wise, top shagger like myself x

[therealcharlesthesecond]

YOU CANT MAKE ME DONT YOU DARE DEFY MY RULE I AM THE KING (also do you want to be in the Charlesosphere community?)

Catherine of Braganza: WHO IS THIS !?

Charles II, with a very heavy male Viking (Ragnar Sverre) on his lap, who is poorly dressed up as Catherine of Braganza: .. You ?

[therealcharlesthesecond]

This happened, i was Charles II when it happened

Catherine of Braganza: WHO IS THIS !?

Charles II, with a very heavy male Viking (Ragnar Sverre) on his lap, who is poorly dressed up as Catherine of Braganza: .. You ?

[therealcharlesthesecond]

My humble followers, Charlesosphereists,

Only you can understand my memories. Only you can understand that this is truly me. I have and always will be Charles II. These fake reincarnations (horrible histories) are determined to bring me down, but they will NEVER. They will grovel and pray on their knees to ME when i unleash my true power. The power of the Charlesoshpere

[therealcharlesthesecond]

I am shaking. This is not me. i AM Charles the seconds ONLY reincarnation. It is sickening to think that I have been ridiculed in such manners, you put this man on a pedestal while i, the real Charles continue to go unnoticed, undetected, yet it is my flesh, my mind that is wholly and utterly him.

[therealcharlesthesecond]

THEY CRUCIFIED ME THEY CRUCIFIED ME THEY