thetheoflores

[thetheoflores]

TEXTS 📲 THEO & NATE.

THEO: i overheard some dude bro asking his dude bro friend why girls waste so much money on decorative pillows THEO: you're one of the only dudes i care to interact with. what do you people have against decorative pillows? @natepuck

[thetheoflores]

TEXTS 📲 THEO & KURT.

THEO: today i caught some sad little man crying in the romance section and i thought it was you THEO: then i saw his shoes and knew you wouldn't be caught dead in them so i walked away @stylisthummel

[thetheoflores]

TEXTS 📲 THEO & STACEY.

THEO: i dedicated a whole table in the bookstore to gay little holiday romcoms with those dumb cartoon-y covers THEO: at least 60% of them are sapphic, you should pop in before all of the people with taste clear us out @staceyevanspsu

[thetheoflores]

I may not know your exact methods, but I will admit that I respect them. Dry shampoo wouldn't help me retain my composure but it'll keep me from feeling like my scalp is eating itself alive, which is really a gift for everyone. Otherwise I'd have to start hurting feelings and bones, and it wouldn't be fun for anyone. The problem is that I'm hot and would get killed off within the first ten minutes. You'll probably be taken out right after for the same reason.

Cry? Please, Theo, as if I’d waste my energy on something so pedestrian. Let’s just say a well timed... negotiation with someone in charge ensured I didn’t have to suffer like the rest of you. Dry shampoo is essential in maintaining one’s composure during a lockdown. I don't think I've ever told you this but I’m sure you’d make a fabulous lead in a survival drama. You’d be one of those people everyone loves to hate…or hates to love.

[thetheoflores]

I'm being hyperbolic, so feel free to forget all of those questions. I don't actually know or care about what kind of keys people leave behind. If they did riffle through your shit, I can promise they didn't take your college ID. That's useless to literally anyone with half a brain.

I'm sorry... chastity belt keys? Has that happened more than once? Aren't people supposed to, y'know, keep track of those? Also how would they know it's the key that goes with theirs, like do they have to test it there and then? I have so many questions...

Damn I was kinda hoping to be lazy and and find out if it was there before I put pants on again to come get it, but... oh great, that's exactly what I need, having to cancel my credit cards too... I'll be in so much shit with the college if they took my id as well, guess that'll teach me to keep a better eye on my shit...

[thetheoflores]

— private.

I do but outside affirmation is always appreciated. Proof that the masses still have common sense, you understand. Girl, I'm not interested in hearing you wet yourself over my sister. Take that somewhere else.

private:

I mean you totes are, but I assume you have mirrors at home and already know that. And I'm glad that's the least offensive option, I like your sister, she's really sweet and fun.

[thetheoflores]

Hmm, tempting but I don't think your girl will like having to make direct eye contact with that on a regular basis. I'll decline for her sake.

You can either have a hug now or a Christmas present in three weeks time. Choose wisely.

You're my favoritest ever and I could never forget you. I could get it tattooed on my forehead?

You could, or you could just give me a big ol' hug.

[thetheoflores]

Don't do that. Then I'll have to kick my own ass for making it happen and I'm quite frankly not interested in figuring out the logistics of that.

I might cry.

[thetheoflores]

Yeah yeah, keep bragging about all your free time. Sadly I'll be stuck at work most of the month. Who else is gonna run the joint when someone's aunt Judy comes strolling in on Christmas Eve, expecting me to magically know what picture book will be best to stick underneath the tree for her preteen niece? Feel free to head up there without me though. Unless you need a buffer.

What you doing over the next few weeks? I'm surprisingly not that busy at the studio, or gig wise. So when's it too early to go crash at the moms?

@thetheoflores

[thetheoflores]

Spending the holidays with your mother is a dream I've had many-a times. Think you could sneak me a seat at her table come Christmas? Also for no nefarious purposes whatsoever, what is your family's stance on mistletoe?

Hi friends! My name is Marley Rose and I'm happy to be here. I mean, I've been here for quite sometime.. but there's a lot of new people here so I felt the need to introduce myself. If you don't know me, I am the songwriting professor at PSU. I'm also a singer, and I currently have and EP out called wildflower, which is available to listen to on Apple Music, Spotify and YouTube! I even have a music video or two on YouTube, which would be super neat if you could check that out. Anyway anyway, enough about myself! I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I know I did. When you have Millie Rose as a mother, holiday meals are the best in the world. How was your dinner? What was your favorite part of the dinner? Did anything silly happen at your dinners? Tell me everything!

[thetheoflores]

[thetheoflores]

How much would it cost if I hired you to disappear into the Blue Mountains with me for potentially days on end until you get 4K photograph proof of Bigfoot? This is a serious question so I'd like a serious answer.

Hello beautiful people! You are all gorgeous. Now that I have said that, I guess I am using Tumblr, never did I think I would see the day that I used Tumblr, but here we are. My modelling agent suggested I used it so here I am! Anyway Hi all, I'm Nolan, Model and Freelance Photographer so if anyone wants a shoot of literally anything, I can either be your model or take your photos you choose. Is anyone here just ready to get past Christmas and start the new year already? Or is it just me?

[thetheoflores]

moodboard 💫 theodora p. flores.

“The universe is bigger than anything that can fit into your mind.”

[thetheoflores]

You're making me regret telling you, calm your horses Cortes. Thems are fighting words.

— private.

Too late, I already like it. Well, I appreciate it, I won't go overboard and start thinking you like me or anything, don't worry.

[thetheoflores]

Gun to my head, if I ever had to marry someone I wasn't into, you'd be the only option.

@thetheoflores replied to your post “FMK: January, Serena, Theo”:

I want a themed wedding, and that theme is hot people. Or Shrek. Your choice.

​Wow, you actually want to marry me? Consider me flattered.

[thetheoflores]

You're barking up the wrong tree here, babe. The only slasher film I've ever willingly watched was Fear Street, and that was only because of the lesbians. Aren't you one of the kids that Sue shot out of her bits though? Best bet is that you absorbed some psycho traits like how some people absorb their twin.

Mm, I guess that makes sense, but there's always something obviously psychotic about the friend-killer. Like, Amber in Scream...I want to say 5? She showed psycho traits the whole time. Please don't tell me I do that.

[thetheoflores]

THEODORA FLORES

☆ FULL NAME: Theodora "Theo" Paloma Flores ☆ GENDER: Ciswoman ☆ PRONOUNS: She/Her ☆ AGE: 32 (July 3rd, 1992) ☆ TYPE: Half sibling; solo (open to twin) ☆ HOMETOWN: San Diego, California ☆ JOB: Manager at Literary Edge bookstore ☆ SCHOOL: PSU Alumni ☆ SEXUALITY: Lesbian ☆ FACECLAIM: Cierra Ramirez

ABOUT THEODORA

When most parents tell their children they can be anything, it’s assumed it’s to come from a place of bias. Anything within reason, anything within their skill level. There are limitations to “anything”, but when Emilia and Louisa Flores told their oldest daughter that she could do anything, they meant it. Between the family’s financial means and Theo’s own brilliance, the world was truly her oyster. Theo was a child whose curiosity often got her into trouble by people who didn’t know her well. Her constantly needing to know the why of a situation, and only relenting when the answer made complete sense to her, was considered obstinate. As a very young child, it was confusing to have people act as if they knew her motivations better than her. However as she got older, she realized how much of it was tied to the concept of propriety, a list of social niceties that she had been expected to adhere to without anyone ever actually explaining it to her. That’s when it all stopped being confusing and instead turned to pure, unfiltered annoyance. She’s never quite stopped being annoyed.

So Theo learned to embrace her status as a know-it-all. It’s hardly her fault that she does, in fact, know it all. Or a good portion of it, anyway. On top of that, she’s a big fan of showing off. The good lord made her as clever as the devil and twice as pretty. It would be heresy to not do anything with that. It’s easy to view Theo as someone who keeps people on their toes but really, she is just very self-serving. She didn’t attend her high school graduation ceremony, despite being valedictorian, because it was the same night that The Real World: Cancun aired and she needed to prioritize. She could’ve made bank studying law or medicine but instead majored in English literature knowing about the limited job opportunities because she liked studying it. If she wants to make more money, she’ll just earn another degree. Life really is that simple to her. Why should she waste her time on things that she doesn’t care for?

The reality is that she can come across as off-putting in her pragmatism. This too is something that Theo knows. This too is something Theo has chosen to disregard. Her mothers taught her early on that she shouldn’t water herself down for others. Those who appreciate her will do so knowing all sides, the bad and the good. Yes, there is some good in there. Theo’s loyalty is unmatched, as is her awareness of the world around her. An aftereffect of all those “whys?” that she asked as a kid. She is something of a conspiracy theorist, believing in Bigfoot and aliens and things that go bump in the night. She’s not going to fuck with them, but she definitely knows they’re out there.

The main reason Theo pursued her PhD. in the first place is because she was tired of constantly being asked “is it Ms. Flores or Mrs.?” She much prefers Dr. Flores, thank you very much. She then proceeded to do fuck all with her degrees other than use it to analyze her in-home library. Her current 9 to 5 gig (more like 8 to 6 but who’s counting? (she is. Pay her that goddamn overtime)) is at an independent bookstore just north of campus. It’s not exciting but Theo doesn’t need it to be. It’s enjoyable enough, gives her a decent employee discount, and helps her temporarily forget about the potential bomb threatening to detonate and tear about her mothers’ marriage. Plus the kid who works the morning shift brews a solid pot of coffee in the staff room so that’s a bonus.

FAMILY BACKGROUND

The Flores family consists of Emilia and Louisa, two women who fell in love in a way that truly came right out of a romance novel. Emilia was a young novelist who knew that she wanted to write the next great romance series, and she did. In the early 2000s, the Rockford series was known as the ultimate guilty pleasure period novels, with dashing dukes and a mysterious gossip columnist. Emilia met Louisa when the novels were first being published, as Louisa worked in PR for the publishing house. The Rockford novels became a smash hit when Netflix picked them up as a TV series, and it’s been the TV show that has catapulted Emilia into a very solid and stable career. Louisa is still working at Penguin Publishing. They have four children, two are biologically Emilia’s and two are biologically Louisa’s. They’ve used the same sperm donor for all four children, so they’re all technically half siblings. Emilia and Louisa have been having a rough patch and are currently in couple’s counseling. They are considering separating, but have been trying to reconcile for the sake of their family.