thevoid1113

[thevoid1113]

I miss you

It has to be Irrational

I have not like hung out with you in years

We just talked this year

Idk

[thevoid1113]

How do I get over the trauma of my parents so I can continue my life. I'm stuck in a freeze response because I don't know if staying or leaving is "right". Fear has a chokehold on me. I hate losing stability.

I am still unwell

[thevoid1113]

"why couldn't you say that stack?!"

Say what?

Hmm?

I love you.

I think about you every day.

I just want to keep you someplace safe.

And I was never gonna be here.

And I was never gonna be with me.

Never.

Never.

Bye.

[thevoid1113]

Get outta my head

[thevoid1113]

It's always easier to minimize my wants and needs by self sabotage and hurting people instead of being vulnerable and taking risks. I've trapped myself.

[thevoid1113]

There is no escaping how I feel or who I am

Please end it

[thevoid1113]

I really did fumble hard 🤓🔫

[thevoid1113]

Please kill me

I'm tired of being this

I'm alone

She's just a roommate now

There's nothing left for me

It's be less trauma if I ended it than having outbursts outs being abusive

It always cycles no matter the meds or therapy

Please end me

[thevoid1113]

She got a job. Shes leaving any time now.

[thevoid1113]

"she's gone"

[thevoid1113]

I want to be single with our kids so I can work again like I used to

And just send them money

Every month I overdraft my account

[thevoid1113]

[thevoid1113]

I want to talk to Niki rn. No one else.

I just want to be heard.

I know that is not good for her

Because I am toxic

[thevoid1113]

I don't want to be the source of my kids trauma anymore

All the good days are going to be overshadowed by all the bad days

I'm abusive and can't heal and it's not for lack of trying

It seeps out

I'm not stable or suitable to be around people

It's lonely here

I've made sure of that

[thevoid1113]

I want to kms

I gotta get out but I'm financially trapped unless I want to screw over my kids

[thevoid1113]