thin-girl-loading

[thin-girl-loading]

Honestly OA podcasts help incredibly

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what nudelkid said

does anybody else also want to live alone really badly?

you have complete control over your own food intake. you can have 3am snacks without being afraid to wake up your family or not eat at all. you can actually cry without supressing it because someone might hear. you can put on the music you like loudly in your speakers. everything is under your control.

that's the dream!!!

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Putting up my goal clothes doesn't work for me. I like to put up my bigger clothes to remind me never to go back to that

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Just an update: haven't touched sugar in almost a week.

Could I do a 5 year streak again? Who knows, I hope so! I never missed out or remember missing sugar until I began eating in moderation. What BS that was "eating in moderation"--yeah, that works if your relationship with food isn't fucked, my friend

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C'mon Amberlynn, give me the thinspo I need tonight

Ironic isn't it. But her constant uploading has helped loads

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You guys have no idea!!

I didn't touch sugar today all day. It was my fear food for 5 years and I caved bec of assholes and their moderation yap yapping even tho I FULLY KNOW moderation doesn't work for me. So today I finally did it, cold turkey and it was so harddddd but I'm hoping I won't crave it as much tomorrow or in a week not at all!!

Yay meeee fkksksnfkvkssahdj

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I stopped telling people my goals.

Yes I want some new piercings but I won't tell you: you'll see it.

I want to become a better person but I won't tell you: you'll feel it.

I want to lose weight but I won't tell you: you'll see it.

I want to draw better but I won't tell you: you'll see it.

I want to sing better but I won't tell you: you'll hear it.

I want to be better at cooking but I won't tell you: you'll see it.

And it's not because I need people's attention. No. It's because I do all these things for me and I don't need anyone to know ab it cause I need to be better for myself.

[thin-girl-loading]

yeah bitch

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I just want to feel weightless again...light...physically empty and be comfortable with that and not ruin it with food

but like realistically I don't want my hair falling out again and I don't want to keel over or run the risk of getting COVID bec of weaker immune system but STILL to positively attain the good stuff by eating the bare minimum. Take. Me. Back. To. Self. Controlllll

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Ever notice how all these skinny ass bitches take apple cider vinegar shots even though there's no definitive scientific proof it does anything for weight loss?

And ever notice how all the fatter folks that try this regime mostly stay fat?

It's a thing thinner ppl do to convince themselves it's keeping them thin when realistically, they could consume a slice of cake every morning and still be blessed with thinness

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I legit just ate ramen straight outta the pack and downed half a meatloaf. Wtf is wrong wit meeeeee

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Thinking youre attractive but having a lot of insecurities is like having a crush on yourself but not knowing if you like yourself back.

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fear of fear of eating food too much 🤝 waste

just me? yep? ok :(

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Nap Nightmare

Um..I only get nightmares when I nap wtf

This time it was ED-esque. Very triggering. I was in a model's production type of photoshoot and I was hired to be the BEFORE and I literally woke up with a start in a cold sweat questioning everything I worked so hard for arghhhhhhhh!!

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Body Goals. Such lofty body goals

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Still relatable

Can we talk about Mike & Molly for a sec

I soooo feel for Molly's character!

*when her mom tells her she's just "big boned" and Molly responds, whilst vigorously working out on an elliptical, "Bones don't jiggle, Mom!!"

*or she gets so mad when someone put a banana in her smoothie when she clearly stated they shouldn't

*or when she fights with a stash of fun-sized snickers and controls herself last minute, claiming they "almost had me"

The former fattie in me relates so hard and honesty? I cry during their OA sessions because they want change and are at a loss of how to get it

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i thought i was dead

i had a experience today where my body overheated i started to lose focus in my schoolwork my heart started beating so loud and fast and hurting like a mf and i thought “omg this is it this is how i die i am going to die in the middle of art class” then i decided to try to alert someone i tapped my friends thigh my breathing was shaky and loud and my face was red and tried to tell her “get the teacher somethings happening” all that came out was a scrambled mumbled sentence and i thought i was about to faint but she understand and the teacher got her to take me real quick and since she knew i was anorexic she got a proteing bar and made me eat that shit and the second i took a bite everything slowly started to calm down and i have honestly never been more terrified

dont take life for granted as someone with an ed it doesnt matter whether your bmi is high or low your heart can stop at any second