thirteenphoenixes-blog

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

love the way he rides without a rearview

The noise of the crowd dragged everything back into blistering focus as it cut through the stony silence that had taken residence in Finn’s head since the start of the fight, the freckled boy pushing still at the grip on the collar of his uniform, snarling as the other he’d been fighting with aimed a smug grin in his direction. “Hobbes.” Finn ignored the call of his last name, determined not to let this bastard simply get away with this shit. “Hobbes, that’s enough.”

Finn spun then as a second hand dug into his hair, fingers tugging tight enough to actually hurt as he whirled on them with glare bright and fierce enough to kill twice over had it been possible. The officer, likely a lieutenant of some sort, looked decided unfazed as she grabbed at his elbow, steering him towards the Captain’s office. Finn couldn’t even count how many times they’d yanked him before the old man at this point, almost more familiar with it than his own barracks. The lieutenant knocked, Finn counting the thirty seconds he knew the Captain would waste down until the man finally barked, “Bring him in!”

The lieutenant holding him shot Finn a nasty smirk before she released him, Finn returning the expression with an amused look of his own, sure that she must have been knew if she didn’t know his extensive record already. In fact, Finn was such a nuisance that there was literally only one other cadet that was a bad as him and they were both only still around because of their family names and their skill behind a pilot’s chair. She shoved him in, Finn smirking still as Captain Winters dismissed her outside and the woman let out an affronted gasp that she couldn’t quite hide.

“Sit.” The old man said, gesturing at the pair of chairs place before his desk. Finn’s shoulders tipped up a bit nervously at the sound of genuine ire in old Albert’s voice, smirk dying away to something softer and more frustrated and maybe even a little scared as the old man finally turned to face him, gunmetal gray-blue eyes narrowing as his mouth down-turned in a frown. “You got into another fight?” It turned up at the end, but it wasn’t a question and Finn winced.

He couldn’t mask the defensiveness he felt creeping over his expression either, brows furrowing as though to say yeah, and? But with far too much desperation and not nearly enough defiance. The old man and him stared at each other, Finn finding himself unable to hold the old man’s stare. His gaze instead drifted to the walls like he hadn’t seen every medal, diploma, and picture numerous times over, reminding Finn of exactly how much the old dude had done and seen while Finn himself was stuck sitting through drills and school work and the taunts of kids who thought they were better than him because they had people and he had no one.

The old man sighed. “Alright. Let’s hear it, then. Tell me why you picked a fight with your engineer.”

Finn narrowed his eyes again at that, finding not a single response that popped into his head worth of answering that one.

After a bit his expression went flat, anger oozing still through a barely present and easily seen through layer of nonchalance as he simply looked over his bruised knuckles, giving a sharp, thin smile. “What does it matter? I clocked him and he fucked deserved it and I would 100% do it again.”

The old man sighed, running a hand over his face like he didn’t know what to make of that, eventually turning away from Finn altogether. “Two nights in solitary and a month on cleaning duty.” He barked finally, wearily. “Get the hell out of my sight, Hobbes.”

Finn gave him a mock salute and gladly got to his feet, offering his wrists to the frowning officer outside with a serene smile, only barely stifling a chuckle at the no-nonsense expression that she wore. She cuffed him with far more force than necessary and started moving for the cells, tugging him along as Finn focused all his energy on not panicking. It was two nights. He’d been through worse and survived so surely he’d survive this time too.

He had to.

She pushed him into his usual cell, cuffs falling to his feet as the bars reactivated with a low electric hum, sealing him inside. He slumped on his side still focused on staying calm as the lights dimmed, distantly wondering how the hell he was going to deal, simply shutting his eyes and resolving to wait.

He reopened his eyes a scant hour or so later, at least by his count, which may or may not have been off. The lowlight of his cell sprung back to full brightness as he sat up, squinting against the lights as he finally realised his cell was open.

Beyond where the bars had been was someone leaning casually against the wall on the other side, swinging a silver ring of keys around their index finger as they grinned at him, Finn marveling both over how cute and how familiar the stranger was. “Yo.” The stranger greeted, electric blue gaze gleaming. “You look bored as hell.”

Finn snorted. He didn’t just look bored. He was. After all, it wasn’t exactly like there was much to do except think or sleep around here and at least one of those was definitely something he was trying to avoid. The guy smirked as though that amused him, stare alight with a mirth and a fondness that Finn didn’t understand. The stranger gestured down the length of the hall.

“How about we get out of here then?”

Finn blinked at him, not full processing the offer as he simply stared at the other boy, fumbling to put together an actual sentence made of words and not sounds. “I—” He hesitated a bit longer, chewing still on the words. “What the fuck?”

“What?” The other boy replied, eyes dancing now. “You’re bored and so am I, so…” He gestured again. “Let’s go.” Smirk turning a tad bit smug then, he waved the keys. “C’mon, I can’t exactly leave without my pilot can I?”

“Y-your?” Finn sputtered. “I’m no one’s pilot except my own and if you’ve laid a single fucking finger on my sh—”

“Down, boy.” The stranger replied, looking far too amused for Finn’s comfort as he crooked a finger in a gesture for Finn to follow along behind him. The redheaded cadet didn’t move an inch. “I wouldn’t hurt our only way off this colony, besides it’s my ship too.”

“Your ship?” Finn couldn’t help but bite the words out between his teeth with a vicious growl. “Says who?”

“Says me.” The other boy replied with another smirk. “And I have the keys, so I think I make the decisions. Now are you coming or not? It’s not very nice of you to leave your captain waiting like this. I’m Mason, by the way, but most people call me Mase.”

Finn growled, but hopped to his feet warily anyway, curling his finger’s around the chain at his throat before he finally left the cell. “Mase it is. If you think I’m calling you captain anything,” He remarked rudely as he passed the other teen and they set off towards the hangars. “You’ve got another thing coming.” Mason shrugged, not looking like he believed Finn in the slightest.

They broke into a true sprint as the first alarms went off above their heads, Finn yanking them both into an alcove as guards raced around the opposite corner, snapping orders and drawing their weapons.

Mason grinned as Finn shoved him into the shadows before dipping in himself, and he looked like he was gonna comment, but Finn didn’t say a word and all the expression earned Mase in the end was a shove away as the other boy pulled ahead again when the coast was clear. They weaved among the ships, Finn leading the way as he tracked his steps back to his ship. “THIS WAY” He called to Mase as they turned down another hall and along another line of ships, his eyes lighting up as he spotted her. His ship. Finn  couldn’t stop the bright grin that he felt curling his lips as he put on a last burst of speed and raced for her, Mason hot on his heels. As they arrived at the gleaming hull, Finn pressed his hand to the scanner on the side and watched in pride as the ship burst to life with a sharp chirp as the doors opened with a hiss, the cadet’s freckles twitching in a grin as he swung back around to Mase. “What was that about keys earlier?” He asked with a grin, raising one eyebrow in a pointed smirk.

Mason smirked back, pointing towards the back of the ship. “Well now, it’d be rather amazing that you can go anywhere when there’s fireproof netting on the thrusters and a chain hanging around your wheels.”

Finn didn’t quite sputter this time, but his cheeks did turn bright red, freckles glowing as he looked away from the other boy. “...fair point.” He said weakly after a moment. Boots sounded in the distance and Finn cursed, chewing on another idea before he turned to Mason again with a look that was half reluctant, sighing. “I cant believe I’m saying this but you... start the ship.” Finn started climbing down, towards the landing gear. “I’ll drag the netting off, so you give me the keys.”

Mason’s eyes flickered with something that Finn couldn’t read and after a moment he tossed the keys to the freckled pilot. “Gold one’s for the chain around the landing gear. Silver’s for the netting.” Finn caught them with ease, eyebrows tipping up in surprise as he turned back to stare at the other. “What?” Mason asked.

“Just surprised you actually handed them to me.”

“Well, unless you’ve somehow already forgotten I’ll be the one at the controls until you get in so if I wanted to ditch your ass I could. Like I said though,” Mason grinned. “I’m not leaving my pilot behind so hurry it up before the officers catch onto what we’re doing.”

With that, he gave Finn a mock salute and disappeared inside, while Finn headed down, dropping underneath the ship to wrest off the chain hanging aorund the landing gear as the engine started rumbling to life above them. He scrambled up quickly, tossing the chain aside as he balanced awkwardly, using his feet to kick off the netting as he undid the lock keeping it there, drawing back as flames shot out and the first of the guards swarmed in. Mason poked his head out, “FINN HURRY IT UP ALREADY, THEY’RE GONNA SHUT DOWN THE TERMINAL.”

Finn fought back a growl; didn’t Mase see that he was trying? It wasn’t exactly easy work balancing like this. He scanned over head, tossing the keys far off into a corner of the hangar to distract them as he shimmied his way along the body of the ship. “Mase!” He called over the roar, shimmying closer. “Get us up into the air.” He ordered as the dark-haired boy smirked just a bit.

“What was that?”

Finn grit his teeth. Now was really not the time for this. “Captain,” He spat. “Get us up into the air. I’m gonna see if I can break the door to the terminal so we can get out.” Finn leant down, scooping up the remnants of the chain right as the ship began to lift, heat from the thrusters almost sending him tumbling off even as he clung on. He cranked his arm back and then threw again, sending the chain right into the sweet spot between the closing terminal door’s gears, screaming, “Go!” at the top of his lungs as he dove and rolled with effort into the cabin, smacking the floor. He laid there for a moment, simply breathing as a they shot into the air and off the Outer Riviera colony.

“Nicely done!” Mason congratulated him. “Thought we were goners for a second there.”

Winded, Finn could come up with nothing for that, simply nodding as he shooed Mase away from the controls and pulled himself into the chair. “We’re not free yet.” He grumbled back, mind going to that laser focused place it always did when he was flying. “There’s still the asteroid belt separating us and the Bararaq Colonies, not to mention the couple of scouters that’ll likely be hovering near the borders.”

He couldn’t deny that he was half hoping that the mention of the trouble that awaited them would deter Mason from sticking around, but the other simply grinned and shrugged. “We’ll be fine.” The other said confidently. “I picked a good pilot who knows what he’s doing so I’m not worried a bit.”

Finn flushed under the praise, keeping his eyes with effort on the open and dark expanse of space before him. Did Mason really have that much faith in him? They’d basically just met and yet…

Finn’s memory hummed as part of him wondered once more where he’d met Mason before. The familiarity itself was nice but the inability to find memories to connect it was annoying.

His radar beeped, forestalling the inevitable questioning until later as it picked up a tiny squadron of ships behind them. “Looks like we’ve got company.” He grunted. “Hang on to something, because it’s about to get rough.”

Finn gripped at the steering and leaned forward, pulling at controls as he jetted them forward and started weaving them through the beginnings of the asteroid field separating them and freedom. The other cruisers were coming in fast though.

“Oi Captain,” Finn shot over his shoulder. “You think you can handle manning the guns to keep them back?”

“Please.” Mase replied. “I’m Captain, aren’t I?”

And for a while that was how they flew, ducking and dodging the ships that’d dared to follow them, Mase returning fire. Finn was starting to worry though. Yeah he was doing alright now, but there was not way he’d be able to keep this up forever.

“Wait stop, I’ve got a plan.” Mase said. “Head towards that asteroid, like straight on.”

“And have us crash?” Finn snapped. “I know I’ve said I’m tired of living but really a fiery crash was not the way I wanted to go out.”

“Do you trust me?”

Finn turned to glare at Mase. “I—” Instinct said no, of course not. He’d willingly let Mase convince him out of his cell but into an early grave? No fucking thank you. He opened his mouth to express exactly that but his stupid and overfull heart was all but singing yes and that’s what came out. “Yes.”

“Good. Then do what I said and trust me. Straight for the rock.”

Finn sighed and did as Mason asked, kicking it into high gear as they sped towards their inevitable dooms.

“Now drop us!”

There were nearly nose to face with the rock as Finn shoved down hard and dove, straightening them up and spinning them right on out of the field and into Bararaq territories and out of Riviera jurisdiction, Finn turning to watch as the blue painted ships all ground to a halt. He rocked them to a slow crawl too, grinning wildly before he turned to Mase with wide, awed eyes.

“How the fuck did you know that would work?”

“Like I said, I picked a good pilot and I’m an awesome captain. So of course we’d escape.” He winked. “See what happens when you trust your captain?”

“Tch, you’re not my captain.” Finn grumbled under his breath as he started steering them towards a supply colony right past the border, even though it was clear by now that not even he believed it.

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

sugar skulls

Coward, something inside him spits, insistent and loud even as Mason assures him that everything is going to be okay and mutters something else that’s probably supposed to be soothing from up in front of him like his life force isn’t spattering into the dirt and his knees aren’t quaking like they might give out at any moment with the effort he’s expending to keep himself standing. Coward.

Mason staggers, but manages to push himself into proper sword stance and that alone is enough to scare the already wary looking bandit into running. He’s not as brave as the one that had managed to wound Mase in the first place. Mason staggers another step and his knees give as Finn finally finds it in himself to move -- to catch him. Coward, Finn screams at himself as Mason sags into his arms with a rattling, uncomfortably wet cough that spills crimson down Finn’s shoulder.

He’s a weakling.

Oh, he’s young yes, but he’s also supposed to be Mason’s master -- he’s supposed to protect him and all he can do is hide. The thought makes him sick with anger and guilt, the feeling roaring in his ears as Mason blinks hazily at him, asks, “you… okay?” hesitantly, looking Finn over like he’s the one hurt even though Mason’s got blood spilling from his mouth with every deep breath and keeps apologising for bleeding on him (like he can help it).

Finn nods tightly. If only he were stronger, faster, better, then Mase wouldn’t be--wouldn’t be hurt. He grabs the bag full of their supplies and digs through for the bandages, he doesn’t know much and he only half remembers what Mason told him about all that, but he’s got to try. He’s got to. There’s so much blood that it’s oozing past any wrapping he starts and he didn’t know that things could get this bad.

“Hey hey hey,” Mason’s voice is soft and trailing like he’s seconds away from passing out or…Finn doesn’t let himself think the other part, fingers starting to tremble as he tries to stem the bleeding. “No need to cry, kiddo. I’m alright.” The dark-haired regalia manages a grin but it’s disturbingly bloody and it does nothing to ease Finn’s fears that his brother might die here because of him. He hadn’t even realised he was crying until Mason said something.

He scrubs at his face, smearing blood on his cheeks. “Y-you’re bleeding.” Finn snaps, hands trembling as the too-bloodied bandages start to pile up. “You’re hurt and it’s my - it’s my fault.” Mason’s eyes slide closed and he gives a grunt of dismissal at that.

“Couldn’t let them hurt you, could I?”

“You should have. I’m not even good for anything. All I do is get us in trouble and I’m not even strong enough to get us out of it.” Finn grumbles. Mason’s eyes snap open and really, the flick that he gets for putting himself down should have been expected but it still catches him off guard and he lets out a squeak of pain as Mason half glares then, looking at least ten times more ornery than usual because of the open wound on his chest.

Finn can’t even glare back, too afraid of drawing his eyes away and screwing up his already shitty job at bandaging. “No talking bad about yourself,” Mason says in the silence that enfolds them as Finn continues working. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat, idiot. You’re my little brother.” 

He would. Finn knows that like he knows that the sun will rise tomorrow, knows without even having to think about it that Mason would willingly leap in front of a weapon for him again if it came down to it and that -- that scares him. Finn sucks in a nervous, hesitant breath, “Well, don’t. I’m not worth your life.”

Mason snorts, wincing at the pain the motion causes and Finn panics internally for a moment in fear that he might have hurt the other. “What life? If you die, so do I. Literally. I’ll go back to being a wandering spirit just like before. So, you’re worth everything I got, kid.”

“But I--”

“No buts and no more talking bad about yourself. I fucked up and I got hurt for it. S’not your fault.”

And Finn can hear the conviction in his brother’s words, the surety, but he knows that he screwed up big time. He screwed up and even if Mason heals he’ll always bear the scar and Finn will always remember that it’s his fault. And the guilt can’t possibly compare to the giant scar on his brother’s chest, but Finn wouldn’t be surprised if it was close.

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

One Piece Prompts #32

Sabo and Luffy have noticed that Ace has been down ever since his last break up. The decide to take matters into their own hands and find someone for him. Together, and with the help of their friends, they compile a list of ‘must haves’ that Ace’s future partner needs in order for them to approve. This list includes: 

Being able to keep up with Ace’s eating

Always up for fun and adventure

Having a sense of humor

They need to be ok with Ace’s relationship with his brothers

They also shouldn’t get jealous of Ace spending time with his brothers and friends

They have to be strong - but not as strong as Ace!

In a Modern!AU, the two decide to make Ace a dating profile and upload their ‘must have’ list the site. Sabo is in charge of screening the more unsavory matches while Luffy decides who he likes with his gut. 

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

Keanu Reeves

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

Concept: a dragon that tries to sleep on top of it’s friends and family every night bc they’re it’s greatest treasure

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

these days, who’s stopping me?

(warnings for references to sex and naked bodies even tho there’s no actual actual frick fracking cus No Thanks also there’s a lots of points of violence and swearing and stuff so just be careful when you read

as always if u need me to tag something just lemme know so i can add it to these warnings)

mason was worried.

going out on a date with his girlfriend should have (and did somewhat) set him at ease, but for whatever reason the dark-haired mobster couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, and having left his brother home alone for the first time in months, he couldn’t help but think that maybe it was related to him.

“hey,” okeana tugged at his hand, pulling him out of his head and mase brightened, thoughts of his own unease and finn rolling away. “this isn’t much of a concert if you’re not enjoying it.” she said.

“i am,” mase replied immediately, wincing under the short glare that his girl leveled at him, sheepishly admitting, “i’m… just a little distracted.”

his girlfriend stared searchingly at him for several moments, then sighed. “i’m thirsty.”

“i could get us something?” he offered. she nodded and mase hurried off to get their drinks, the feeling of unease returning in full as he walked off.

when he returned, no less than fifteen minutes later to his annoyance, okeana was nowhere to be seen. the dark-haired mobster frowned as that bad feeling in his gut twisted it. odd, but not bad yet, he told himself. okeana could have easily gone to the bathroom or something of the sort.

he balanced their drinks in one hand and opened his texts with the other, never getting the chance to send his concerned where r u? as his phone began to ring. mase debated stepping out of the venue, getting some peace and quiet so he could properly hear, but didn’t want to take the risk in case it was okeana calling him so he bit the bullet and pressed the phone to his ear, answering the call, “yeah?”

the line crackled, but no one spoke up. mase grit his teeth, queasy fear coursing through him. “what do you want?” he asked the silence on the other end, leaving no room for discussion or games.

“holmes.” the voice on the other side was diplomatic, and to mason’s further annoyance, unfamiliar. that was the problem with having a target on your back, sometimes. you didn’t always know who was aiming for it. “i’ll save you the spiel. we have your beloved cop—“

“where is she?” mason snarled, cutting the voice off before it could say anything further.

“somewhere.” the voice replied drily. “and she’s fine, for now. unless you don’t do as we ask.”

“fine, but not over the phone.” mason decided, gears already whirring in his head as he tried to figure out how to get okeana and trick these fools into trying an ambush. “we meet on neutral grounds to conduct business in the hour. bring okeana or there’s no deal.”

“are you really in the position to be making demands, holmes? i mean, we have you—“


“you don’t have anything.” the boss replied, voice as cold and as soft as freshly fallen snow. his blue stare swept the concert grounds yet again in a desperate look around for his girlfriend. clicking his tongue, he fired a shot up into the air, quickly clearing the crowd as people began to flee.  

“look fuck face, i’ve already found you,” a bluff.  “and when i get there i’m going to kill you for daring to take my girl.” that’s if she doesn’t kill them first, mase admitted to himself with the tiniest smirk even if that didn’t ease his fear.

“fine.” the voice replied, sounding defeated. “we’ll meet at the fairgrounds. one hour. n-no weapons.” it rattled off the address and then went silent as mase hung up, satisfied as he headed for the house.  

fear mixed with anger made mason holmes a very dangerous man, even more so than usual, and he was only getting angrier as he rolled the events around in his head.

honestly, the audacity of some of these little fuckers. he pulled up to the house and parked, throwing open the door. judging from the windows, it was dark inside, and mase hesitated, wondering if they had somehow taken finn too.

the unease swirled deep then. okeana was gone and if his brother was too…he hurried in. the house was dark, mason pulling his gun free again out of habit as he crept through the dark. he wanted to call for the older, but didn’t at the risk of alerting anyone else that might have been around when they were not supposed to be.

he spotted the glow of a light down the hall and prowled closer, alert. there was a distant sound from the light and mason had been expecting something bad, but certainly not the light giggle that drifted down the hall nor the definitely male laughter that followed it.

anger burned through mason as he scowled, coming to a stop out the door that he’d determined as the bathroom. really, finn? “finn?” he called for his brother through the door, decided to play nice and knock.

the redhead pointedly ignored the summons from the other side, not wanting to pull away from his latest conquest just yet. besides, finn knew that if mason got pissed off enough, he’d simply open the door himself. “finn,” his brother’s voice was insistent now, “open the door.”

but that went ignored too and finn, amused to no end, returned his attention to the girl’s neck, laving kisses there and splotching her neck in red and purple. distracted as she was, she managed after a moment, to hesitantly ask, “sh-shouldn’t we let him in?”

finn snorted, “he’ll either kick it in or pick the lock when he finally gets bored of yelling at it,” and returned to what he was doing, only looking up again when the door (as he predicted it would) swung open and into the wall with a crack. the girl sitting in his lap jumped in fright and finn sighed, pulling away from her to watch his brother stalk in.

unsurprisingly mase was scowling, blue eyes a mix of angry and disappointed as they settled on where finn lounged in the tub with the girl perched on his lap, both naked and up to their chests in soap bubbles. the redhead fixed his younger brother with an impassive and unreadable stare, settling back with ease into the unflappable demeanour that he usually only adopted with outsiders.

he canted his head to one side in a gesture that was a question, a challenge, and something mocking all at once and damn annoying if mase was honest. “can i… help you?” finn drawled, making no attempt to move or apologise or anything other than stare. mase stared back for several long moments, trying to find something that wasn’t too coated in betrayal or anger.

finn smirked, expression tilting roguish, “unless… you’re here to join us?”

the younger narrowed his eyes at his dumbass older brother, gritting his teeth on a snap as the mixed cocktail of volatile anger and fear and frustration and betrayal and disgust swirled in him. he’d trusted him—trusted him to not do shit like this.

mason knew of course that this was his older brother coping in the only way that he knew how, but this asshole trying to fuck his way through riverview shore, if not the entirety of goddamn los guerreros was not his brother and it was infuriating as much as it was maddening.

and perhaps, mase admitted guiltily to himself, perhaps he’d been coping himself, afraid of stepping into finn’s minefield of emotions and hoping beyond hope that giving finn space would pull him back from where ever it was that he’d vanished off to.

but now he was one emotionally checked out brother down and his girlfriend was gone and god if shit kept happening, mason was going to fucking snap.he was wrung out to his wits’ end with finn’s bullshit and now he didn’t even have his girlfriend to keep him from losing it.

the anger resurfaced and he turned his glare on the girl as she gave a small meep, curling into his brother’s chest. “you.” mason addressed her crisply. “need to go.”

the girl glanced from mase to finn, pouting as the redhead nodded albeit reluctantly, arms resting on the side of the tub. “you heard him, sweetheart.” he said with a shrug. “duty calls.”

she stood slowly, dripping water and soap onto the rug as mason averted his eyes, giving her privacy as she tucked a towel around her frame. she turned back to press a kiss to finn’s cheek, the mobster smirking again, “text me sometime and we’ll… reconnect, dear.”

“okay,” she chirped with a small grin, finally accepting that she had to leave. turning and padding in the direction the door, she stepped around mase with a small glare.

once she was gone, mase turned back to finn with a scowl, leaning against the far wall as his brother spoke up, “any particular reason you interrupted my fun?” his expression was still that unreadable one, eyes blank of nothing but his carefully crafted mischief. it made mase grit his teeth, fed up with the act.

“you can fuck as many people as you like, it’s not going to bring him back.”

“who’s trying to bring him back?” the other said with a shrug, eyes not meeting mason’s in the slightest. “he left and i’m over it.” he swirled the drink in his glass and took a long sip, going to pour himself another drink.

“right,” mason said in frustration, “over it.” when did we become so distant that he can’t even talk to me when he’s hurting? he asked himself in the beats of silence stretching between them, reaching forward and tugging the bottle away without thinking before finn could finish pouring.

finn only sighed and downed what was in the glass then sank deeper into the bubbles, almost vanishing out of sight, “if you ruined my night to start talking about caldwell, i’m going to shoot you.”

“you wouldn’t,” mase returned confidently. finn clicked his tongue, but didn’t comment, both of them knowing it was true. “besides, that’s not why i’m here.” even though that was a talk they did need to have. desperately, judging by the looks of it.

“oh, good.”

“you need to hurry up and get dressed, someone took okeana and i need your help to get her back.”

finn was silent, wondering for a fleeting moment why he should care. okeana had never been anything but rude to him and her hold over his brother was dangerous at best, deadly at its worst but, looking at mase, finn knew he couldn’t say no to the little idiot. besides, okeana was family and he did care about her, at least a little deep down.

“alright,” he grumbled finally, snatching up his shirt to chuck it at the younger. “get out so i can get dressed.”

the next minutes were spent planning. finn was generally their chief field operator, but he’d fallen behind in that lately, causing mase to pick up the slack.

tonight though, his brother seemed more clear-headed than he’d been in months, easily stepping back into his spot as he drew over a map of the city. “halfsies.” he said after a moment aware of how dumb it sounded to those that didn’t know him, not that he cared. “i trust that mysterious voice on the phone about as much as i trust bones, i’ll go to the fairgrounds and you’ll go to their base of operations which—do we have specs on that yet?—” he held out a hand and the coordinates were handed over, finn marking them.

“why not all to the fairgrounds?”

“because they’re not gonna bring okeana to the fair grounds.” finn said as though it were common knowledge. “they’ve still technically got the upper hand. mason can say what he likes, but at the end of the day they’ve still got the prize so what does it matter? they’ll play along because they like that he was ballsy enough not to be shitting himself and they’re curious, but they know that it’s a feint.”

“so?”

“so, they’ll be keeping all their security back at home. they’ll send the little guys out to play with me.” rocky as things were, mase knew that finn’s plans had never been wrong before and nodded.

“okay that’s what we’ll do then.” he decided, picking those that were most suited to battle with him. finn took the others and they parted ways. sure enough as that hour rang in, the h family was in their spots.

finn stood as a figure revealed themself. they were an unimpressive and scrawny looking dude, about at finn’s shoulder in height. “hiya.” the redhead greeted, “not who you were expecting, am i?” he grinned.

meanwhile, mason’s patrol was making their way through the building and to the spot where okeana was most likely being held. mason walked the line of cells, something just the slightest bit deeper than disgust curling in his gut.

they reached okeana’s cell, but it was already open and empty of nothing but two slumped bodies that mase could tell from where he stood outside that neither were okeana. figuring that she’d probably left clues, he padded into the cell, cautious even with the decidedly unconscious bodies.  

a weight settled on his back and arms locked around his throat, dragging him to the floor as his gun slid across the concrete. shit, he thought, scrabbling for the weapon. he couldn’t breathe and if he died in this goddamn cell…

he was flipped onto his back as a bit of the pressure eased and he sucked in a breath, finding himself staring up at his girlfriend before the pressure vanished altogether as she blinked at him.

okeana’s face was a flecked in dirt and blood and she was scratched to hell like she’d been fighting, but otherwise fine. alive. she glared, but it was half-hearted, “mason?”

“hi.”

“the fuck are you doing here—actually, don’t answer that. where’s the other idiot? i know he didn’t let you come alone.”

“actually he did. he’s dealing with the fairgrounds situation and i came after you.”

“alone?”

“no. the rest of the guys are on the second level.”

“oh.” she got to her feet and pulled him up, mason sweeping her into a bridal style carry the moment he was steady on his feet. she almost clocked him, but when he dodged it and jostled her in the process, she decided against it if only because she didn’t want to get dumped on the floor. “what the hell are you doing?”

“i’m rescuing you.”

“i don’t need rescuing.”

“yeah well, i don’t need pizza but i want some. now let’s get out of here.”

mason recalled the h forces only once he and okeana were long gone and en route to the house.

finn, looking surprisingly clean, glanced at his phone as it buzzed and he settled a foot on the throat of the man below him, causing him to choke. “hm.” the redhead hummed, “looks like it was a success, boys.” he called. “seems like our work is done. you’re all free to do whatever, i’m off to go find some fun and a drink.”

then, he headed off into the night with the swagger of an alley cat, pleased with himself.

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

person: i am uncomfortable with bad language--

me: okay!! that's fine!!

person: --because you are a girl and girls shouldnt talk like that

me: eat my entire ass!!!!

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

Today a 27-year-old man I was taking care of in the hospital asked if I could help him get boosted up in his hospital bed because, and I quote, “You look strong.  Like, you look like you could take a motherfucker out.”

That is the most flattering thing that a patient has ever said to me, and I’m counting the little old lady who told me my eyebrows were beautiful, and the very deaf old German man who yelled at me that I was “WONDERFUL!!! MADE BY GOD TO BE A NURSE!!!!!”

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

boys who stay up all night and sleep all day are nice.

boys who are complete total messes are nice.

boys who are idiots are nice.

boys forgot their homework and have to copy off a friend right before class are nice.

boys who can’t walk one pace without stumbling are nice.

boys who bullshit their way through life are nice.

boys who can’t pay attention worth a damn are nice.

boys who get no sleep because sleep is for the weak™️ are nice.

essentially, disaster boys are nice.

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

the saddest thing i’ve ever done was beg someone to love me the way I loved them

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

a set of empty bones --

(tw: the religious stuff in this one might make some folks a bit uncomfy so watch out for that, there’s also an implication to suicide, implied abuse, various mentions of death, disordered eating, mentions of violences, and other possible things. as always if there’s something i missed that you’d like me to tag pls tell me to i can add it to these warnings and to the tags!)

finn had learned long ago that he was not a good child.

he was a not a good child and not a good person either. he had killed his mother and he was bad, if not entirely evil, and slated, at current, to an eternal fate of burning, unless he begged daily for a forgiveness that he did not deserve.

he was not good and he never would be, according to those caring for him. he could hope and pray (and oh, he did, leaving indents behind on the floor of the prayer room where tiny knees knelt there for days at a time crouched below a picture of their lord backlit like any moment he might step out and smite him), but that would not change who he was or where he was destined to go. the idea was beat into his head (and later, carved into his spine after he committed the ultimate sin), and it was a lesson that he never forgot.

not that he could have anyway. memories were hard to erase when they were written all over you. even much later, after he had made not just one but two whole friends and they were in school together, it stuck with him, hanging around his neck, not unlike a noose sometimes, he thought when he glimpsed it hanging behind his mother’s ring.

a reminder of that which he’d have to answer for, at the end.

finn clutched it as he plodded back to the orphanage, chewing the inside of his cheek nervously.  it was long past dark, moon up high and stars overhead, and he should’ve been back ages ago, but he was at least half sure that okeana was already gone. mason surely would’ve told her what happened.

finn had no right picking a fight with him like that, but he had anyway. it felt stupid, the more that he thought about it. he clambered up to the attic window and crawled in, falling off the sill and onto the floor as someone spoke up.

“it’s about time you came back,” okeana complained, standing over him as he pulled himself up with a soft grunt of pain. “i thought something had happened to you. where’ve you been anyway?”

his stomach churned. “i—” he grinned sheepishly and shrugged, “the usual trouble?” his sister huffed, and rolled her eyes, and finn only felt his stomach clench tighter as guilt ached in his chest. the grin faded, finn feeling oddly sick. he opened his mouth, “i have something to tell you.” he and his sister had spoken at the same time. their eyes met and finn cleared his throat and tried again.

“er, you go.” “no, you.” “no, really. i can wait.”

finn said, dreading his own words more and more with each heartbeat that passed. okeana stared at him for a long moment, but didn’t argue further, simply shrugging, before she piped up with bright eyes. “well, i uh, i kissed mason.”

finn felt his heart sink, but managed a smile. “that’s great.”

oken nodded with a grin that finn thought was probably the happiest he’d ever seen her, “so what did you wanna tell me?”

finn hesitated and then swallowed his explanation of the fight. “nothing.” he said, shaking his head with a grin that was just the slightest bit sad. “just me getting into trouble as always.”

okeana snorted, “unsurprising. i’m… going to bed, you?” “yeah…” finn said after a moment, “eventually.”

“night, then.”

“yeah, night.”

the next few days passed without hide nor hair of okeana.

at first, finn had simply assumed she was off spending time with mason and that they’d just yet to cross paths because of the odd hours between her leavings and his comings.

as the days stretched into weeks though, it seemed that his sister had vanished altogether from the orphanage. he’d known that it only a matter of time, but that didn’t make it any easier to handle her leaving. the attic well and truly became finn’s home.

if it wasn’t up there, finn decided that he didn’t need it, only ever going down to the bathroom or to find something to eat, only then when necessary. he spent most days watching the window for any sign of the short witch even if he knew in his heart that she wasn’t coming back.

he kept an eye out for her anyway, only managing to break the habit of sneaking up extra food for her after the third week, simply eating himself after the dizziness became too much, even if it only made him sick with guilt. he didn’t deserve it; he’d fought his best friend and driven away the only family he had.

the time before school wound down, until it was the day that they were supposed to be boarding the train. finn hadn’t bothered packing his trunk, figuring that he wasn’t going to go anyhow. what was the point without okeana or mase?

he curled up more tightly on the windowsill, startled off it as the attic door dropped. finn tensed and sat up, half afraid that the other kids had found their hideaway and blinking hard to clear the tiredness right at the edge of his vision, ready to fight, but it was just okeana.

his sister’s head poked through and then mason’s, finn feeling his stomach drop to his toes as he stared back at them, suddenly and painfully aware of how he must’ve looked. they looked back and finn dropped his stare, unable to hold either of theirs. they pulled themselves up, closing the entrance behind them.

“hey shitface,” finn scrubbed at his face furiously at okeana’s sharp tone, trying to stop the tears from welling in his eyes. god he was still such a crybaby. “where the fuck is your luggage? we have to get to the station in two hours and you look like a mess. have you even showered and eaten breakfast yet?”

she squatted so she was in front of him, “and you’re covered in bruises. what happened to you?”

finn didn’t reply for several long moments, glancing up and then at mason before he quickly dropped his stare again. “i thought you weren’t coming back.” he finally mumbled.

“oh…” okeana cleared her throat a bit awkwardly, “yeah that’s, um, that’s fair. i’m sorry.”

“i’ll get his stuff together,” mase volunteered, breaking the silence that had settled over them. “where is it?”

“don’t worry about it, i can get it.”

finn said wearily, but a glare from okeana had him sitting still as his sister glanced around the room warily. “most of it’s here,” she concluded after a moment, “but there might still be some stuff in his room. it’s downstairs, room 401.”

mason nodded, “i’ll be back in a bit.” he vanished downstairs, okeana shutting the attic door behind him before she turned on finn, crouching in front of him.

“what’s wrong?” finn was silent. “finn.” even at her insistence, the metamorphmagus couldn’t find the words to tell her everything that was going through his head so he didn’t. still silent, he shook his head and pulled her into a tight hug. okeana accepted, a bit warily, and said after a moment.

“glad we worked that out.” okeana said, pushing him towards the attic exit, “now go shower, you smell like you’ve been frolicking in a sewer.”

it was probably the fastest shower he’d ever taken, feet leaden with fear as he exited the bathroom, half expecting them to be gone when he returned, still wet hair starting to curl as he padded back upstairs and up to the attic, heart soaring as he heard them joking around just beyond the door.

the feeling was quickly smothered in guilt and finn found himself fighting the urge to run off. you don’t deserve them. he didn’t get the chance as okeana and then mase appeared, each with a trunk. “breakfast.” okeana said, pointing at him as she passed. “kitchen. i’m going to make you eggs.”

finn’s stomach turned at the thought as he followed behind them, still failing to meet mason’s stare. he was hungry, starving even, but even the idea was making him ill. “i’m uh…” he hesitated as both of them turned to him, feeling his mouth dry uneasily as he faked a smile, only just hoping that it reached his eyes. “that sounds good.”

okeana smiled, pleased, and he thought for a moment that he might’ve gotten away with it. “good.”

finn had never once struggled through a plate more difficultly than he did that morning, but wasting food was a greater sin than eating it at the moment, so he managed, finding it worth it for the relief gleaming in his siblings eyes, even if guilt was screaming at him in the back of his mind, finn soothing it only by his return to an age-old habit as the school year started.

it was easy at first. with his troublemaking, if he disappeared after dinner, it was for the latest prank or another fight, not hugging a toilet and fighting the urge to cry. and if he was tired, well, near everyone that knew him knew he didn’t sleep like he was supposed to most nights. cold was easily fixed with sweaters and hoodies alike, favourites in finn’s wardrobe already.

but then it became harder.

what little focus he had in class plummeted, and even his usual penchant for troublemaking died down, finn too tired and too cold half the time to come up with anything other than napping and wrapping himself in blankets. his own paranoia and guilt skyrocketed, finn not even venturing out to prowl for somewhere other than his dorm to sleep.

it was only a matter of time before it caught up with him.

and catch up it did.

finn slunk away as he always did after dinner, so preoccupied with his guilt and ‘repentance’ that he didn’t even notice his family following close behind as he slipped into the bathroom. he vanished into a stall as oken and mase stopped to debate the ethics of okeana entering the boy’s washroom, locking it behind him as he dropped onto his knees. wasn’t too different from the prayer room, now that he thought about it.

it was only after he’d stopped throwing up that he heard the door open. “finnegan andrew hobbes,” okeana’s voice was furious, “that had better not fucking be you.”  the stall door rattled and finn flinched. “open the door. now.”

shit. well, this wasn’t good.

“i—” finn choked, further ill at the fact that he’d been caught, and threw up again, unaided this time. his throat was burning as he sat upright, head spinning the slightest bit. “i’m, uh, i’m fine.” he slowly opened the latch and pushed the door open, shivering slightly as he scrubbed at his mouth. “s-see?”

his sister stared at him, horrified, but finn only felt guiltier as he stared back. “you’re not fine!” okeana spat, sounding like she was seconds from tearing the bathroom apart. “you’re in here… doing this and you call that fine?” his sister’s eyes began to water and finn began to panic in earnest.

“i’m fine.” he insisted and clutched at the doorframe to keep himself standing, hating how tired and cold he felt even with a long-sleeved shirt and a hoodie on.

“you’re dying.”

okeana snapped back, taking a few paces back as she came to a quiet and terrifying realisation. “you’re dying and it’s my fault.”

“i’m not dying and no, it’s not,” finn said angrily.

“it is,” okeana insisted firmly. “i abandoned you.” she clenched her hands into fists. “i let myself get distracted by snogging mason, of all things, and i forgot that my little brother needed me.”

finn shook his head. no, she was wrong. if he was abandoned then it was his fault. he was bad and he deserved to be left behind—to be forgotten. “it’s no one’s fault but mine because i—i’m…”

“you’re what?” “i’m too much.” finn whispered, not meeting her piercing stare or seeing the tears starting to form as the older girl’s chin wobbled. “i’m too loud and too annoying and too stupid and needy and and i take up too much space and everyone leaves because i’m just—i’m too much.”

he scrubbed furiously at his eyes, to stop his own tears from falling. “and i—i picked a dumb fight with mase because i thought if maybe… if i could—if i could just stop him from taking you away then i wouldn’t be alone.”

“finn—”

“no, it’s—it’s fine.” finn hiccuped, hoping she wouldn’t notice the skip. tantrum throwing crybaby...you drive everyone away. “i shouldn’t have even opened my dumb mouth.” “finn.” “i’m fine—it’s fine. i’m just… i just…” he trembled, voice wavering uncertainly as he shook his head again, trying to get her to see.

“finn, please.” okeana’s voice had a wobble to it too and that’s what caused finn to look up and oh. his older sister is crying. crying and it’s his fault. the anxiety set in and finn wheezed as panic gripped his chest, making it hard to breathe as he frantically shook his head.

“i drove you away. i messed up.” “no you didn’t.” okeana said viciously.

“yes i did!” finn cried, “i messed up and y-you came back and i don’t even deserve that.” he was desperate now, trying to get her to see that he wasn’t worth this—not worth tracking down and caring about—that he wasn’t worth anything.

“yes you do,” she said, looking like she was caught between pulling him into a hug and running away herself. “you deserve people that care about you and don’t abandon you.”

“no i don’t.” finn snapped, losing his grip on the doorframe and sliding to the floor. “i don’t deserve anything…” he scrambled away, shaking his head every time okeana nodded. “no. i don’t.” he wheezed, repeating it over and over again as his tears welled over, sobs mangling the words and his speech into something almost intelligible. they didn’t get it. he was a murderer.

okeana gathered him in her arms, quietly shushing him. “you c-can’t keep doing this, finn.” she said after a moment. “y-you can’t, please. you can’t.” her words a repeated murmur to his as they sat together on the floor.

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

it’s easier to say “im tired” than “im so sad and lonely i feel like there’s a weight in my chest and my body is so heavy i have no energy emotionally, physically or mentally to even move from my bed”

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

Man I sure wouldn’t mind kissing a boy right about now……

Smoochin’ a dude….. cuddling a guy… sounds Pretty swell

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

“hey bro” “yeah bro?” “i wanna live in ur socks” “hahah, why bro?” “so i can be with you every step of the way” “…oh m y god… bro :’)”

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

I’m what the kids call ‘an atrocity to god’.

[thirteenphoenixes-blog]

feels like I am breaking my own heart but I don’t know how to stop