Text
My child said to me:
“Other-donkey, Elsa likes macaroni kiko”
Can you understand what this sentence means? Write down your guess before I reveal the answer in the next tweet
11K notes
·
View notes
Text


16K notes
·
View notes
Text
[trying to insult a person's dog-like devotion to someone but not wanting to make them sound too cool about it] keep your fucking dog in a purse
32K notes
·
View notes
Text
Woah mama just reminding my followers that TERF ideology is fundamentally evil and not welcome anywhere near my blog hummina hummina hummina
63K notes
·
View notes
Text
i think the reason "fiction affects reality" trips so many people up is because they think it means "engaging with media that depicts uncomfortable subjects will taint your soul" when really all it means is that "fiction is meant to reflect certain ideas of the world intentionally or not, and it's going affect your perception of it, if you don't go in with a healthy bit of skepticism"
21K notes
·
View notes
Text
speaking of unhinged stupid shit I've read recently

62K notes
·
View notes
Text

I have been quoting this all morning while muted in a teams meeting
31K notes
·
View notes
Text
The term "book of the dead" doesnt really give you perspective to how big a lot of Egyptian funerary texts are.

Imhoteps book of the Dead is 64 feet long.
32K notes
·
View notes
Text
Ice suggesting a white woman remove the Mexican flag sticker from her car. Can they all kill themselves already
95K notes
·
View notes
Text
Alright kids say it with me
My thoughts don’t make me a bad person
My feelings don’t make me a bad person
My thoughts, feelings, and impulses only exist inside my head, and none of it matters unless I act on it
Nobody can see my thoughts or emotions
The only things anyone can see and judge me on are my actions
There’s no such thing as a thought crime
thank u
66K notes
·
View notes
Text
Lactose: e-excuse me...
Stomach: hey, what do we have here? Some goddamned lactose!
Small intestine: we don't like lactose here, ya know? You're gatecrashing a very private party!
Large intestine: (pushes him, making him stumble) there's two ways you can leave here... The easy way, or the hard way. What's it gonna be?
Lactose: but I...
Lactase: (deep voice) step back, everyone. (walks up and puts his arm around lactose's shoulders) he's with *me*
Large intestine: lactase?!
Small intestine: b-but you're both...
Lactase: I *said* he's with me. You got a problem with that?
Stomach: (finishes sizing him up) right. Course not. It's cool, lactose. Just don't cause any *problems*, you hear?
Lactose: I-I w-
Lactase: you don't have to answer that, babe. Just keep walking
56K notes
·
View notes