thriveorcrytrying

[thriveorcrytrying]

side quests : summer

I want to tan up over the summer but I don't know what to do to achieve that goal. I don't live near any ocean or else I'd do that all day every day. Pools are. slightly disgusting and full of screaming children. But maybe that'll be my best shot. I'd rather not go on runs every day in the heat, but maybe that's a good idea. I have terrible stamina. Maybe that's why I'm more okay with the pushups idea than running. I don't know what most guys do to get more sun. Just sit outside shirtless?? I might take my laptop outside and do homework out there. I don't know yet.

I think my goals for glowing up should extend. Not necessarily over if I don't improve as much as I really want to by the end of summer, but instead take the entire year. Glow up before college. Because, honestly, who cares about these teenagers? I have to move away for college anyway, so I'm not particularly attached to their opinions of me. I say that, but I still really hope I get better results in time for my senior year. I'll just remind myself it doesn't matter until I feel it.

I have summer school, not making up past lol but taking extra assignments. No way do I want to take some of these boring ass courses during the year. But, like I said, very boring ass courses. So a shorter amount of time to complete the overload of boring shit is.. not great. I need to figure out time management better. It's such a dumb every day skill, but I am terrible at it.

Speaking of time management, I need to find a job. I keep job searching or applying, but it never goes anywhere. I don't have my license yet, which I need to figure out soon too. I don't know how to spend the day job searching, spend the day doing all of my schoolwork, and manage to clean and workout and eat and sleep. And I want to set aside time for reading every day, keep my brain active and everything. And all I want to do is watch anime or something. And we're supposed to have a social life??

How do I balance the things I need to do, which both take up all my time, with things I want to do, and things I should do? I have no idea. Maybe I'll figure it out.

[thriveorcrytrying]

objective : 1 water , 6 homework

Monday, new start restart.

I slept in 20 minutes about, almost just went back to bed. My sleep schedule got fucked over the weekend and I could barely fall asleep. Finally got tired when my cat came to sleep on my bed lol. I can't fall asleep in silence, but the sound I need to sleep changes by such little factors. Sometimes it's chaotic things like movies, sometimes it's soft like wordless music. It takes way too long just to figure out what sound soothes my brain that day that I usually stay up just searching for the right music. Last night, though, I put on a nature documentary (about whales, I like sea things) and that seemed to be good. I fell asleep a little after 2 or so, last time I'd seen the time anyway, and woke up around 7:20. So, a decent amount of sleep, not too terrible. I think it'll go better tomorrow.

I skipped breakfast, which maybe wasn't the best idea because I have more coffee than usual. I got my daily (intended daily anyway) outside time in the morning, listened to music and tried to take deep breaths of the air to feel the morning fresh air I don't get often enough.

I didn't do the ice face thing, not sure it actually is worth anything anyway. I need to watch more of those inspirational youtube videos from guys that actually did get better, those always motivate me but then I keep losing it. I didn't drink my daily morning cup of water either. Refilled my water bottle a bit ago, though. Took a shower and feeling refreshed and awake, more than this morning at least. On my second cup of home coffee and almost finished with my out coffee too. I might get shakey but at least I'll be awake.

With some advice, I decided I might change my workout plan. Right now I do the full workouts, but only a couple times a week. Then I lose motivation and don't do them. But every time I restart on Monday, waking up early after a lazy weekend, I feel ready to start again. And then lose it again. I don't know what to do to keep myself disciplined, it's something I need to work on heavily.

Someone told me I should just do pushups, that that's one of the things that affects lots of muscle groups and will help with arms and core the best. He said I should do them every morning and every night both. I think keeping it to something simple like that will help me actually stick with it for a while. But at the same time I'm not sure it's actually that helpful. Is that really enough? It feels dumb to only do that, especially because I'm not out of breath at all or needing a bunch of water like the other things, so it doesn't feel like it does much. I think I'll test it this week and then decide.

Then again, maybe starting with something easy and building up how much I can do it will be a good way to transition into actual workouts later. If this teaches me to stay on the routine then maybe it's worth it. I just want really fast results and have to keep reminding myself it's about the process, and it'll take a while. I've spent my whole life lounging around and not putting in any effort, I can't expect it to change suddenly this late. I see a lot of those motivational guys that had a complete glow up in only a couple years, and they're all talking about don't focus too much on seeing results just stick with it, and all that shit.

Which, I know is good advice. It's just hard to listen to. I guess all the best advice is.

Signing off for this entry.

Goal : keep up with the pushups every day this week . reevaluate after.

[thriveorcrytrying]

side quest: 1 / 2 water obtained

unlocked : push up !

Today I really wasn't feeling it, but I guess I'm too early to say stuff like that too. I got up early still, even though I was VERY tempted to roll over and go back to sleep lol. I was much more groggy than I've been so far in my get-up-early quest. But I got my cup of coffee and stood outside for the duration anyway. I didn't realize how little I actually go outside until I started trying to go out of my way to do it, honestly. My morning shower woke me up a bit, but I'll be honest, I did scroll a while before doing anything productive after that. And by the time I had planned to get around to it, I really wasn't feeling the workout.

I almost skipped workout today. I want to go to bed early, and people say you shouldn't work out before bed. I want to sleep well to wake up better tomorrow. If I wake up better tomorrow, I'm more likely to work out in the morning, anyway. But no, I can't keep doing that, I always make excuses. I am terrible at discipline, but I think keeping these logs will help with that.

It was shorter than it probably should've been, but I kept pushing when I wanted to cut things short, so I'll call that at least a little win. I need to find a pull up work around because I don't have anything, but I do want to do those.

I haven't been able to do any good push ups. Sometimes, but not very well, and barely more than a couple. I've been doing incline push ups instead, though, to make myself still do it. They've been getting too easy though so I think I need to look for a lower incline now. Today I tried actual push ups again. Safe to say they were not great, and I can only go down about half way, and my arms are definitely too wide stance and elbows more out (I need to figure out how to do the good ones, elbows in so close, I don't get it). But, I did do them today, and it's better than what I was. So, improvement! I'll work on form because it seems like push ups are one of the best workouts, even if a little basic, and I see them in all the routines. I still can't figure out L-sits. That's a figure-out goal too.

Here's to hoping I can fall asleep quick even if I did the workout right before bed lol. At least before midnight. And hopefully to wake up better tomorrow to get back to my morning workouts.

Goal:

-work out before noon

-test out the pull ups on table idea

-2 water bottles

-at least 5 summer school assignments completed

bonus xp: read for at least 15 minutes at some point in the day