thrivingau-blog

[thrivingau-blog]

Why you should tell them

By Anxious Minds Evolving

The past two years has seen me go through some difficult situations, that have made me question all aspects of myself; my worth, my strength. It has taken me significantly longer than I would like to admit to work through them. To be honest, I still don’t fully feel I have, not completely. Throughout this drawn out process there have been a number of big realizations. One of which is; you should always tell that person ( you know, the one that instantly sprung into your mind as soon as you read the words “that person”) that you love them. No matter how gut wrench-ingly terrifying it may seem.

 Why? Why on earth should you do the one thing that completely terrifies you? That could result in the sky metaphorically falling in and crushing your very existence? Good question.  Part of this realization, was the recognition that our world, would be a much clearer place, if people were just a little more.. honest. Miscommunication, misconceptions and general misinterpretations of interactions are the unnecessary cause of so much pain. So here is 6 reasons to get honest.

1) Who does not like being told that someone loves them? 

We as humans crave the love and acceptance of others. It is what makes us human (and vunerable as hell). So every individual (par the minority) want to be told that someone not only notices, but appreciates all the small things about them - thinks about them - wants to be around them (literally all the bloody time). Does this garuentee that the feeling will be mutual.. no. But you cannot control that.

 2) It’ll only hurt more in the long term.

Yes it is terrifying and the prospect of possible rejection makes you want to crawl into a little hole and never come out. But suppressing those feelings of love and longing, and letting them fester inside you whilst you battle to make them disappear, will only hurt you more in the long term. Trust me.  

3) Its put you in control of the situation.

Unrequited or secret love hurts the most because it removes any sense of control that we have, over ourselves, our feelings or the situation. We feel ourselves flailing about struggling to grip onto any sense of security or stability. By being honest, and revealing these hidden feelings, you take back some of that control. You say “here I am and whether or not you like what I am saying, I am saying it anyway and I am going to feel so much better because of it”. 

 4) You will know you did all that you could.  

The prospect of ‘what if’ will be the major road block in your attempt to move on. You will fantasize time and time again about that person knocking on your door declaring their love for you. So why not switch the roles and do the knocking. Because even if that door gets slammed back in your face, as least you know where you stand, and that you couldn’t do anymore. It removes the question of ‘what if’ and gives you a solid answer to work with. If you don’t step up to that door way, I promise you that pesky ‘what if’ will just keep knocking at yours, every day, for a very. long. time.

5) Dear god it will be so empowering.

Standing up and saying “this is how I feel and I’m telling you this, despite the fears I have surrodning your response and I know that even if I don’t get the response I want, I will be okay, because if I can workj up the courage it takes to tell you how I feel, I can certainly work up the courage to get through whatever comes next”. 

6) Romantic gesutres arent just for the guys. 

Introducing ‘The kickass woman in shining armour’ (well you get what I mean). Why is it that men are expected to make all the moves? To declare their love for you? No doubt they find the prospect of rejection just as jaw droopingly terrifying. We, as self conscious women, assume that if a man doesn’t make a move or tell us what he is feeling, its because he isn’t feeling it. Wrong. It’s the fear associated (yeah, the same fear we have been discussing).  So instead two people, who may just be head over heals in love with each other, exist in their seperate lives, alone, wondering ‘what if?’. 

So tell them, tell them how you feel. Because the worst thing that could happen, is the feeling is not mutual. And that will suck. It will hurt to hear, and it will take some time to process. But I promise you, that is better and surprisingly less painful version of events. Because if you don’t, if you hold back in fear (and hope that they will act on it) you will spend weeks, months or even years in limbo. Waiting, hoping and hurting. So lets just be honest because I am confident there is someone out there, right now, waiting and hoping that you’ll make that move.

[thrivingau-blog]

thriving

Growing up is hard. As a women or a man. However, it cannot be denied that we as women, have our own, unique hurdles to face before we can safely say we are happy. Self doubt, social expectations, difficult life events, heart break. There is plenty in this world, telling us we aren't good enough, pretty enough or strong enough. It's time we look past these daily reminders and start not only believing in, but promoting our self worth. We are two sisters, in our twenties, who have crossed a number of bridges to get where we are, but also have many more to face. But luckily we know that we don't have to do this alone. And neither do you. We aren't trying to sell you anything or promote material products that you "need to be a better you". We just want to share our experiences, our favourite quotes to brighten your day and not just live life alongside you all, but thrive.