throughspanisheyes

[throughspanisheyes]

I love you babe. This was so incredibly sweet and perfect, like you. <3

One of the reasons I fell for my girlfriend was because she taught me what courage is. She taught me to speak and stand up for myself, something I didn’t feel like I could do as a black queer woman who just wanted to get along with everyone. She was the reason I made it a point to come out to everyone in my life, not feeling shame or fear. What’s more she taught me to stand up for other people even if that meant getting into uncomfortable situations, even dangerous ones at times. She taught me this through her actions, not just her words. At parties, when she’d notice a girl being harassed, pressured or just appearing uncomfortable, she’d defend her even if she appeared physically unmatched to her opponent. When she gets a call at 2am from a friend of mine who is drunk and needs to get home, she hops out of my bed without thinking, puts on clothes and goes to them, walking them to their dorm, helping them into bed and tucking them in. When we’re holding hands on the street, when I start to pull away from her grasp, she holds on tighter and holds her head up to make eye contact with anyone who has or might have something to say then she tells me she loves me. When we were at campus events and white students would try to assert their privilege she would blatantly ignore them and assert her presence. When she speaks she does it with love and earnest and power so people have no choice but to listen to what’s she’s saying. She’s taught me to not back down or walk away, unless I absolutely have to. Despite all of this, she still worries about me, trying to make sure I’m safe and taken care of. I think it’s the Chicago in her or the Latina. She’s not tough though. She’s strong. She doesn’t have thick skin and tall walls, but a heart that knows how to heal. She’s been picked on, jumped, and bullied. She’s had her fights with life, and I think that’s where her strength comes from. But her courage, her courage comes from her heart. It comes from her love. 

[throughspanisheyes]

Yessssssssss

I didn’t want to watch this video because I was afraid of the potential message it was sending: women who aren’t modest don’t get respect therefore if you want to be respected, cover up. And that was her message, as problematic and single-issued as it is. Pretty much saying if you’re not modest then you must have no dignity, no self-respect, no morals and no real power. In order to be “taken seriously,” to be considered “classy”—apparently “like Audrey Hepburn” because she’s a role model for all women despite her being cis, white, thin, assumably able-bodied, etc—that in order to not have violence brought upon you, you must be modest because that’s only way your humanity will be recognized or respected. She even says that the studies proved “It’s the bikinis that inspire women to be seen as objects to be used rather than to be connected with.” It’s the bikinis!! We just solved sexism. Next we’ll find out it’s the hoodies and we’ll solve racism! How simple. Why hadn’t the movements considered this—considered fashion!

What’s horrifying is that in her argument, women are the only ones held accountable—no one else. If they are objectified, they have made themselves objectifiable, and zero responsibility falls on those doing the objectifying! She ignores the fact that you can put on a suit, or a baggy t-shirt or cover up in a robe AND still be gawked at, harassed on the street, attacked and even killed. I wonder what her explanation would be to those women everyday who are? This message of modesty is dangerously flawed. It makes women fear their bodies because of the consequences that may come along with just existing. Her message doesn’t address where the consequences come from, just a representation of the cultural structure.This fear is why some women find it safer to readily relinquish power over their bodies. But when we talk about power, about colonization even, we first talk about physical bodies; destroying, weakening or controlling them as the primary step to complete control over everything else. Just look up genocide and biological warfare for starters.  There is no wonder as to why policymakers feels they have a say on women’s bodies and what women can and cannot do with them.

Jessica Rey speaks of the power women were looking for and how they went about it incorrectly. When actually the power women were looking for was total control over their bodies, not fearing what would happen to them when they made decision for themselves and their bodies. That’s the power women are still fighting for today. If we want to empower women and girls, we should stop telling them to hide/shield their bodies—we should tell them to love their bodies, to own their bodies, to claim autonomy over their bodies. That is the first step to liberation. If a woman has to constantly consider whether she is being modest every time she dresses, she has to consider WHO is looking at her, what will happen to her by that person.  She has to live under a  gaze of someone else, constantly considering someone else before she considers herself. And in this argument that is clearly stated. She says, “Modesty is about revealing our dignity…” But I ask to whom??!! Why must it be revealed it? You shouldn’t “reveal” your dignity; show it to me over time; for me to treat you with dignity. Shouldn’t people be treated with dignity no matter what??

This message supports the idea that instead of respecting all women, you instead just respect the women you deem respectable (according whichever standard you use to determine what that is). Why can’t you be respected and that be it? No conditions, no exceptions, no standards. Just respect as the bottom line. Instead targeting this message to women and girls (“We need to teach girls…”, “I was speaking to girls…”), her message should be to all people about respecting all people. Because this message also tells men and women to respect only women who cover their bodies, and to chastise those who do not so that they will. This message isn’t unifying at all. (The religious context alone is isolating.) It just pins people (women in particular) against each other in judgment and preconceptions about who and what is better according to who’s modest and who’s not; and it gives men an explanation/reason to treat “immodest” women as disrespectfully as they wish and, by this argument, can.  

AND TO THOSE MODESTY FANS: If you want to cover up—Do it. But don’t judge, demonize, ridicule or preach to those who do not wish to live as you do. That is violence.

[throughspanisheyes]

My twin and I had this vegan birthday cake! It was amazing! It’s been a month since we’ve transitioned from vegetarian to vegan and we’ve had so much support from our closest friends sisters and brothers. Now I pay more attention to the types of food I consume (where they come from, what the ingredients are, etc) and how they affect my emotional and physical state. I can say I feel very different. It’s been 4 weeks and I’ve lost 12 pounds (I also go to the gym now) but losing weight was never the aim of this lifestyle choice. I’m starting to see food as a choice and not things I just consume just becuase I can. And I understand that not everyone has a choice. Instead of reading about it, I am experiencing the intersectionality of race and class and politics on food consumption. 

[throughspanisheyes]

1. Don’t negotiate with them. For emotional manipulators, it’s all about having, exerting and gaining more power. So they’ll always push for more and they’ll never compromise.

2. Don’t engage with them. Don’t try to talk, or reason, or discuss some matter with...

[throughspanisheyes]

New Year!

2012 was a wonderful year. The highlights of my year: I've lived for 5 months in the country of my dreams, visited the city of love, traveled to some of the most beautiful places in the world, fell more deeply in love with my partner of 2 years, traveled together with her for the first time for her second trip to my hometown, gained and maintained beautiful friendships, had the most rewarding/intense internship, entered my senior year of college, grew closer with my family, passed the NYPD exam, and began and completed much of the hiring process for my dream job (diff. from the NYPD). Needless to say, I have had a memorable year. Happy new year everyone! :) #readyfor2013

[throughspanisheyes]

[throughspanisheyes]

Me: *stays home*

Parents: why are you so lazy? Get off your ass and do something with your life

Me: *goes out*

Parents: omg you're out of control stop hanging out with those people and roaming the streets

Me: *eats*

Parents: you are ruining your body with that garbage

Me: *doesn't eat*

Parents: we're getting really concerned are you on a diet is there something you're not telling us do you have an eating disorder?

Me: *exhales*

Parents: don't give me that attitude

[throughspanisheyes]

The first gay marriage proposal in the White House.  An active duty U.S. Marine Corps captain made history over the weekend by becoming the first gay man to pop the question to his partner at the White House.

In the photo: Matthew Phelps proposing to his partner, Ben Schock. Congrats to the couple, and may their journey be happier than ever.

[throughspanisheyes]

What's the best way to learn a second language? Specifically, Spanish.

In my opinion, the best way to learn a second language is by utilizing reading and writing materials that are appropriate for your skill level. For example, if you know basic Spanish  don't expect to follow the conversations in Spanish soap operas lol. There are great online worksheets, other tools and guides that will help you understand the rules and basic grammar techniques of a language. That's step one. Step two would be build off of the rules and techniques learned previously, as well as to begin reading beginner-level books in Spanish. The key to learning any language is by reading books/text as much as you can in that language, as well as attempt to speak it with native speakers and/or individuals that have studied that language. Like English  the more books you read, the more you write, and the more you speak in English  the easier it is to become fluent in that language. I know that this is all pretty broad, but there are great academic resources out there that will guide you through the beginner, intermediate, and advanced stages of learning a second language. :) Thanks for the question Anon!

[throughspanisheyes]

My life has been filled with 28 months of nearly perfect love; every new day has been spent loving her more than the days before. <3

-Jay

[throughspanisheyes]

lmao!

i made a friend today

[throughspanisheyes]

AWWWW

Piggy Gets Warm Bath [x]

[throughspanisheyes]

I love you. The end. <3

-Jay

It’s hard to describe our friendship. I know I fell in love with my best friend. That in doing so I chose happiness. I chose love. I chose beauty. I chose all that she was offering me and to this day still offers me. So it’s hard to describe what we have, but it’s always easy to see the love that comes from it. 

[throughspanisheyes]

[throughspanisheyes]

I love you, and us. You're amazing. That's why I adore you.

-Jay

I’m supposed to be on a bus to Boston. I reached Union station approximately 7 minutes before my bus was set to pull out of the station. Except it wasn’t my bus. I should have left Hartford three hours ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to rise from her warm bed. My ticket was for a straight shot...

[throughspanisheyes]

<3

[throughspanisheyes]

truth!

Bilingual problems

You can speak about a whole topic in one language, but not the other.

You know how to use punctuation in one language, but not the other.

You use both language in one sentences and when you translate it into either language it doesn’t make sense, but your bilingual friends get you.

Being bilingual means not only means that you can speak two languages, but that you can tap into certain dialects, but others won’t understand. 

Fuck my life!