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Meeting Reading: October 31st, 2019
All Our Needs
And my God shall supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory. . . .— PHIL. 4:19
This verse has helped me many times. It has helped me when I have wondered where my next friend, bit of wisdom, insight, or meal was coming from.
Everything I need today shall be supplied to me.
People, jobs, what we have at our immediate disposal, are not our source.
We have tapped into a Greater Source, a source of infinite and immediate supply: God and His Universe.
Our task is to allow ourselves to come into harmony with our Source. Our task is to believe in, and look to, our true Source. Our task is to release fear, negative thinking, limitations, and short-supply thinking.
Everything we need shall be provided to us. Let it become a natural response to all situations, and all situations of need.
Reject fear. Reject short-supply and limited thinking notions. Be open to abundance.
Cherish need because it is part of our relationship to God and His Universe. God has planned to meet our every need, has created the need within us, so God can supply.
No need is too small or too great. If we care and value our need, God will too.
Our part is taking responsibility for owning the need. Our part is giving the need to the Universe. Our part is letting go, in faith. Our part is giving God permission to meet our needs by believing we deserve to have our needs—and wants—met.
Our part is healthy giving, not out of caretaking, guilt, obligation, and codependency, but out of a healthy relationship with ourselves, God, and all of God’s creations.
Our part is simply to be who we are, and love being that.
Today, I will practice the belief that all my needs today shall be met. I will step into harmony with God and His Universe, knowing that I count.
Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency (Hazelden Meditation Series) (pp. 315-316). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.
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Sometimes God calms the storm. But sometimes God lets the storm rage and calms the child.
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Step Three Prayer: October 31st meeting closing
In this moment, I can choose my own Higher Power.
I can set aside all the old beliefs about who I am not
and be who I am–a child of God.
I can remind myself that a faith in a Higher Power
becomes a faith in me, and that my recovery lies in
being true to myself and to my Higher Power.
__The Twelve Step Handbook
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Meeting Reading: October 31st, 2019
The Twelve Principles of the Twelve Steps:
HONESTY: We admitted we were powerless over others – that our lives had become unmanageable.
HOPE: Came to believe in a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
FAITH: Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
COURAGE: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
INTEGRITY: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.
WILLINGNESS: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
HUMILITY: Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
LOVE: Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
DISCIPLINE: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
PERSEVERANCE: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
AWARENESS: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
SERVICE: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other codependents, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
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Book
How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t: 14 Habits that Are Holding You Back from Happiness, by Andrea Owen (2018)
Recommended by Tina, Robert
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Podcast: Conversation With Alanis Morissette
In particular, Episode 16 featuring Pia Mellody.
Recommended by Bethany M. “Pia Mellody is an early author in the field of codependency recovery. Her thinking is grounded in the Twelve Steps. She does a good job explaining CoDA’s roots in AA and Al-anon on the podcast.”
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Book
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships
by Marshall B. Rosenberg and Deepak Chopra (2015)
Recommended by Marie M. “This book is excellent at putting theory to action.”
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Author: Margaret Paul
Healing Your Aloneness: Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child, by Margaret Paul and Erika J. Chopich (1990)
Inner Bonding: Becoming a Loving Adult to Your Inner Child, by Margaret Paul (1992)
Recommended by Robert
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Author: Robin Norwood
Women Who Love Too Much, by Robin Norwood
Recommended by Tina, “T’s #1 recommended!”
Why Me, Why This, Why Now: A Guide to Answering Life's Toughest Questions, by Robin Norwood
Recommended by Tina
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Book
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, by Susan Cain (2013)
Recommended by Robert, Bethany M.
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Book
You're Not Crazy-You're Codependent, by Jeanette Elisabeth Menter (2012)
Recommended by Robert
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Author: Pema Chodron
The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times
By Pema Chodron
Recommended by Valerie, and Bethany M.
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times
By Pema Chodron
Recommended by Valerie
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Additional meeting reading: Thursday, October 24th
Opening Ourselves to Love
Open ourselves to the love that is available to us. We do not have to limit our sources of love. God and the Universe have an unlimited supply of what we need, including love.
When we are open to receiving love, we will begin to receive it. It may come from the most surprising places, including from within ourselves.
We will be open to and aware of the love that is and has been there for us all along. We will feel and appreciate the love from friends. We will notice and enjoy the love that comes to us from family.
We will be ready to receive love in our special love relationships too. We do not have to accept love from unsafe people—people who will exploit us or with whom we don’t want to have relationships.
But there is plenty of good love available—love that heals our heart, meets our needs, and makes our spirit sing.
We have denied ourselves too long. We have been martyrs too long. We have given so much and allowed ourselves to receive too little. We have paid our dues. It is time to continue the chain of giving and receiving by allowing ourselves to receive.
Today, I will open myself to the love that is coming to me from the Universe. I will accept it and enjoy it when it comes.
~~~
Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency
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Meeting reading: Thursday, October 24th
The process of recovery in Al-Anon has been likened to peeling an onion. We peel away a layer at a time, often shedding a few tears as we do. But recovery always makes me think of the bark of a birch tree. The birch’s bark is necessary for protection, yet as the tree grows, the bark peels away gradually of its own accord. If it is removed prematurely—by a deer scraping his antlers or a porcupine searching for food—the tree is wounded and becomes vulnerable to infection, fungus, and insects. Like the birch tree, I can be wounded if I am prematurely stripped of my defenses. Most of us have spent a significant amount of time trying to cope with these wounds from the past rather than growing and changing. But in Al-Anon I am encouraged to grow at my own pace. As I do, I find some of my defenses and ideas too tight, too limiting. And so I slough them off, just as the birch releases its old skin. They are no longer needed.
Today’s Reminder
I have an innate ability to heal and to grow. I don’t need to force myself to change. All I have to do is show up and be willing. When I am ready, the changes will come easily. “…We all have our own answers within ourselves and can find them with the help of our Al-Anon program and a Higher Power.” …In All Our Affairs
~~~
Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II . Al-Anon Family Groups. Kindle Edition.
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Meeting Reading, Thursday, October 16th
Being Honest with Ourselves
Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain. The quality of that relationship will determine the quality of our other relationships. When we can tell ourselves how we feel, and accept our feelings, we can tell others. When we can accept what we want and need, we will be ready to have our wants and needs met. When we can accept what we think and believe, and accept what’s important to us, we can relay this to others. When we learn to take ourselves seriously, others will too. When we learn to chuckle at ourselves, we will be ready to laugh with others. When we have learned to trust ourselves, we will be trustworthy and ready to trust. When we can be grateful for who we are, we will have achieved self-love. When we have achieved self-love and accepting our wants and needs, we will be ready to give and receive love. When we’ve learned to stand on our own two feet, we’re ready to stand next to someone. Today, I will focus on having a good relationship with myself.
~~~
Beattie, Melody. The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency (Hazelden Meditation Series) (p. 301). Hazelden Publishing. Kindle Edition.
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Author: Melody Beattie
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, by Melody Beattie (1986)
The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation, by Melody Beattie (2009)
Codependents' Guide to the Twelve Steps, by Melody Beattie (1992)
The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations for Codependents, by Melody Beattie (1990)
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Official Literature From Co-Dependents Anonymous
Peeling the Onion (brochure)
“An excellent supplement by CODA that gives healthy and unhealthy examples of various codependent behaviors.”
In This Moment Daily Meditation Book
Co-Dependents Anonymous
Pocket-size Co-Dependents Anonymous
Recommended by Bethany M. “This tiny version of the big book is perfect to carry around with you and glance at discreetly throughout the day.”
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